Sherm Only Knowing His Brother Stanford Since His Twin Died When He Was Too Young To Remember. Only After

sherm only knowing his brother Stanford since his twin died when he was too young to remember. only after Ma and Pa died did he get to meet Stanford. they'd always call him "nerdy" but "weird and ingenious" was a much better fit. huh. he might've been smart once, but Sherm is sure capitalism beat it out of him, as it does all of us.

all he knows about Stanley is that he was a troublemaker and messed up Stanford's college decision. Pa called him some choice words, but, then again, those had been directed at Sherm, too, so who is he to believe what Pa says?

still, memories of a soft voice and clean-shaved chin holding him close and humming short songs would tug on the back of his mind. it wasn't his brother Stanford, but Sherm was told Stanley left before he was born. was that true? because the images of his childhood didn't seem to match with Stanford. the thought only crossed his mind for a few minutes before pulling up to Stanford's shack out in Oregon, after that it was all banter and he forgot all about it.

decades later, his grandkids have to sit their Grandpa Sherman down. there are two of them. twins, again- it runs in the family, after all. ten minutes later, he has two brothers alive, not just one.

despite his old age, he hauls himself up to Gravity Falls with his wife. when he gets there, two old men (hah! that's rich, calling them old- when you're a granddad yourself, Sherm). but this time a hearty chuckle went straight into the depths of his childhood. toddling around the house, learning to read. the missing brother, Stanley hadn't grown up any, and neither had Stanford, seems like (something else Pines brothers have in common).

without realizing, he's already walking up the uneven wooden steps and a voice- the one he hasn't been able to shake- the one he didn't realize he's been looking for his whole life- his brother Stanford is there.

he cries into Stanford's woolen turtleneck until the darkness escorts them inside.

I managed to be both a model student and an insufferable bastard in HS, both a clown and a fact-checker, I'd come in late with new tea then ask a question that explored the connections between the topic and current events. I'm so sorry to all of my teachers

some of yall are lying, i know not all of you were "a pleasure to have in class"

handshakes!??

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this is the best thing

uh hey so you guys what the fuck ever happened to the haiku bot

Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz) character design

John Oliver because every time a company or real person reacts to what he says, he seems to be completely baffled that anyone was listening to care enough to respond

also he's incapable of not being excited to see Fun Comedy People On TV, whether or not he knows them personally. thanks for repping us, John