Things Haven't Been Greatbut I Think They Will Be. Eventually

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

I feel like now is a good time to remind everyone that...

Nonhuman is an umbrella term, but it is also a standalone label.

You do not need to also be otherkin, otherlinker, otherhearted, therian, fictionkin, alterhuman (which itself may be 100% human and nothing else) or anything else to call yourself nonhuman. You can, if you want to, just use it by itself. No qualifiers, no further explanation required, no definition beyond 'not exclusively human in some way.'

You don't need to identify physically as not-human. Plenty of nonhumans do, and plenty more don't.

You don't need to identify entirely as not-human. There are lots of nonhumans that are also human, plus whatever else they are. There are similarly nonhumans who are in no way human. The term encompasses both without contradiction.

You do not need to specify any amount of voluntary/involuntary adoption of your identity. You can in fact choose to just be nonhuman because you want to do that, or you can come to it after a long time searching and conclude it's the only explanation, or you can fall anywhere in between.

You do not need to be any specific thing other than some degree of not-human. You can be an animal, plant, object, concept, song, creature, shapeshifter, character, device, AI, color, emotion, or anything else that exists or doesn't, or any kind of mixture of those things.

You do not need any specific reason to call yourself nonhuman. It can be a psychological thing, a spiritual thing, a physical thing, a coping thing, a reclamation thing, even just a 'because it's fun and makes you happy' thing.

You do not need anybody's permission or approval to be nonhuman. There are no gatekeepers who have any say over what a nonhuman is or is not, aside from the definition of the word itself, which is incredibly broad and open to interpretation. This is by design. Anybody who tries to stop you has no right to do so.

Please don't forget that when defining 'nonhuman.' It is not just a big tarp to be thrown over other labels. It is also its own full identity with its own merits and concepts, even if it is a very broad and inclusive identity.

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

The Moon and Venus, early this morning ♡

― Mary Oliver, The Sweetness of Dogs

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?