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Did you know? Use the "computer" to chat with "transgender women".

I want you to crave me like I'm oxygen and you suffocate without me.

― Mary Oliver, The Sweetness of Dogs

Really hate that the queer community's response to the creation of a gender trinary (girl, boy, and nonbinary, which is still not all-encompassing) was to... reinvent the binary. We just started grouping all genders into "masc/male-aligned" and "fem/female-aligned" and it's so fucking stupid. Even with the occasional allowance of "neutral/unaligned" it still maintains the binary as the standard. And then they don't let you use certain labels if you don't have the "right" gender alignment. The fuck.

to the transfemmes who feel dishearented because they are not seeing the effects they'd like from HRT yet: it's okay. it's okay to feel bummed out at first. HRT takes a long time to change everyone, it's not just you, everyone responds differently, and many transfemmes in particular feel defeated in the early days because it can take a long time before you fully recognize the changes. you are changing every day, you are evolving, it just happens a little slower than is easy to identify in the moment. it's not always easy to see in the mirror when your internal view of yourself is changing, too. sometimes dysphoria makes those early days a challenge.

i've seen girls who have only been on estrogen for 1.5 years who look completely different from when they started. on the outside it can seem like a night-and-day change, but on the inside it can feel like a slog sometimes. it's harder for the person who's changing to see it. it's okay. it's okay to take the time to allow yourself to change, even if it's uncomfortable for a while. it will look and feel awkward for a while, but you are blooming. you will see it, no matter how long it takes. it takes most transmascs a minimum of 5 years to fully see the effects of testosterone HRT.

don't give up. it's worth it. we are all but caterpillars weaving our cocoons. the day where you emerge as a butterfly will come way, way sooner than you think. you got this. keep it up.