Endlessly

Endlessly

Astarion x plus size! Y/N - drabble - 1.3K WC NSFW 18+

Masterlist

Warnings: insecurities, yelling, self deprecation, fluff on fluff on fluff, Astarion being a big sap, loveeeeee

Part 2

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You and Astarion had been together for 8 bliss filled months. You knew you were in love with him the day he asked you to be his. Yet you never said it. He hadn’t said it either. Honestly, you were still amazed he was with you. You knew your size wasn’t perceived as conventionally attractive or desirable. It used to bother you, but you were quite comfortable in yourself now. Until it came to Astarion. It was like you were trying to hide any and all fat on your body when he was around. He had never made any negative remarks, quite the opposite actually. You just knew one day he would wake up and see through the honeyed fog of lust and find somebody who matched him. Somebody perfect, just like him. 

You watched as Karlach played in the stream, she had such a child-like wonder about her. It made you happy to just be in her presence. Shadowheart sat on the shore with you, meditating. Everyone else was back at camp. 

“Come on Y/N! Come play!” Karlach yelled, splashing a bit of water at you. 

You got up wading into the water up to your knees. Thankfully you wore shorts and a massively oversized top. You felt comfortable enough around everyone to be seen like this. You and Karlach flicked water at each other, finding rocks and shells to take back to camp. You talked about nothing and everything. Gale and Wyll made their way down, even Lae’zel. The weather was just too good to not enjoy your little beach. You didn’t see Astarion make his way down the hill. He walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You lurched forwards, not used to touching as you were still nervous about it - especially when he touches your waist/stomach. Your foot slipped on the soft mud beneath you, you fell forwards. You caught yourself, avoiding any injury but you were soaked. Your clothes clung to you, your body on full display. You scrambled up, crossing your arms over your torso. You pushed past Astarion as he held a hand out to you. You rushed up the hill and to your tent, stripping your clothes off. 

“Darling? May I come in?” Astarion said from the front of your tent.

“Not right now Star.” You tried hard to hide the waiver in your voice, or the subtle sniffles you were letting out. You layered on clothes, wanting to hide within yourself somehow. 

“Love…” he said, barely peeking inside.

“I said not now! Please just go away…” you yelled, sounding harsher than you intended. You laid on your bedroll, curling into yourself. You cried until you fell asleep, the moment earlier exhausting and overwhelming you. 

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Astarion backed away from your tent. He had never heard you yell before, much less at him. He racked his brain, not exactly sure what he did wrong. It clicked after a moment, he touched you. You two had never established boundaries verbally but you knew he was ok with touching. You, however, were only ok with light touches that didn’t really invade your person. Holding hands, a kiss, caressing your face - all things he had done before that you seemed to be happy with. But today, perhaps he had overstepped. When he saw you and your radiant smile, so full of joy to just exist in the moment looking for shells and splashing about with Karlach. He acted on instinct, without even properly thinking it through. He felt positively wretched. Out of everyone he understood most how awful it is to have physical boundaries crossed, and he crossed yours. He walked to his tent glumly. He would seek you out later, right now he wanted to give you the space you deserved. 

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You woke up later. The crickets outside chirped and you could hear the campfire crackling. You rubbed your eyes. A blanket had been thrown over you, a note was folded up on your table. You got up and snatched it. “Find me when you wake - A” You sighed, closing your eyes. The way you yelled at him echoed in your mind. You were flustered, you hadn’t meant for it to sound so mean. You peeled off your coat, feeling hot and constricted in all the layers you had piled on. You left your tent in a sweater and pants. You felt less anxious than you had earlier, knowing your campmates didn’t care what you looked like. All you cared about was that Astarion had touched your stomach, the spot you were most insecure about. You couldn’t act like it wasn’t there anymore, you had to face him. You willed back your misty eyes, preparing for the worst. You softly called his name outside of his tent, waiting for him to call you in. He did, and he looked just as nervous as you felt. Your stomach dropped but you tried not to show it.

You sat rather far from him, wanting to have space between you both. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.” you spoke first.

“I’m not worried about that darling… I am worried about the fact that I hurt you.” he spoke softly but you could hear the guilt in his tone.

You looked at him, confusion dripping from your face. “I wasn’t thinking… and I know that isn’t an excuse, but I’m sorry I crossed your boundary. It won't happen again… that being said, we need to have a talk.”

Your blood ran cold, a cold sweat covering your back. This was it. You nodded stoically, convincing yourself not to cry. 

“I would like to know where you are comfortable with me touching you. I, personally, am comfortable with you touching me wherever, whenever.” he smiled at you gently, a simple twitch up the corners of his mouth.

Well… this is not where you thought the conversation was going. “I…” you tried to collect your thoughts, “I do like your touch. I want you to know that. I love it, in fact. What happened earlier wasn’t anything to do with you, I just…” you paused, unsure if you should even tell him. 

He looked at you with his big pleading eyes, you had to tell him or this wall would intrude upon your relationship.

“I am insecure about my… size… my weight. I know you have had many diviner conquests, and you yourself are a vision… I just… I don’t know… I don’t want to disappoint y-” you were cut off by his lips melding into yours. They were soft but you could feel a fire behind them. 

“Respectfully, darling, shut up.” he kissed you again, deeply. As if trying to convey a multitude of feelings at once. “You are perfect. And you are not a conquest, you are the one I…” he paused, his eyes flicking between yours before he spoke again. “You are the one I love. And I love all of you.”

You were shocked, you were sure you felt everything about your relationship deeper than he did. And yet, here he was saying he loves you. “I love you… I’m so sorry about this whole thing.” you scooted closer to him, reaching for his hand. 

“Don’t be sorry. I understand insecurities, nasty little thoughts that cannibalize you from within.” he cupped your cheek, “You have nothing to worry about. You are perfect, I love everything about you.” 

He sounded so sincere you couldn’t help but tear up. “Can we… work on expanding my boundaries? I want to touch you, and have you touch me… I just need some time to get comfortable. Get out of my head, ya know?” you asked, picking at your nails. You hadn’t talked about intimacy with anyone else before, not like this. 

“Of course little love… we’ll go at your pace. Honestly, I’m excited to do this with you.” he smiled, his fangs making an appearance. “I love you, endlessly.” he said as he kissed your cheeks before landing on your lips. The kiss was sweet, almost like it was sealing a promise.

“I love you, endlessly.” you spoke on his lips before connecting your mouths once again.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello! I hope everyone enjoys, I haven't seen too many plus size reader inserts with Astarion so here is my shot at it. As a plus size person I think this kind of representation is important and very validating. Post again soon, love you guys!! Thanks for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests!! XOXOXOXO

I think Gale is missing Waterdeep

UPDATE:

I’m out of the hospital! Took a few days but I’m out! New fic will drop tomorrow, thank you all for your patience and support - XOXOXOXOXO!!!

Update!

Hello my lovely readers. I am currently in the hospital for some pretty serious stuff so fanfics may be slow to pump out for the next week or so. So super sorry! 🤢😷🤧🤒

Every Lifetime - Part 2

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: emo Astarion, guilt, mostly fluff tbh

When Withers told Astarion he could bring anyone back. His mind flit to you immediately. The thought of you coming back. He felt a sliver of hope, something he hadn’t felt in ages. 

“She died… 130 years ago…” Astarion mumbled, afraid the animated skeleton would turn him down.

“Thou must have the proper payment…” Withers spoke. 

Astarion fumbled, shoving coins into the boney hand. “I strike thy name from the archives… rise…” Withers spoke, moving his arms while saying the incantation.

A shimmery blue outline of a body appeared, you slowly came into focus. There you were. You felt confused. Like you had just woken up from a deep sleep. Your eyes slowly adjusted, focusing on the pale elf in front of you. Astarion? Arms encircled you in a crushing grasp, crumbling to the ground. You noticed strangers watching you, all looking at you two with faces of confusion. You slowly brought your arms around his waist. This felt so unreal. Astarion kissed your neck and face before landing on your lips. You kissed him slow and deep. You never wanted him to slip away from you, not even for a moment. Leaning your foreheads together you both sat there a moment. Fresh tears coating each of you faces.

“How?” You asked with a stuttered breath.

“In every lifetime. Always.” He kissed your cheeks, you smiled loosely. 

“Do you want to try standing up?” Astarion whispered, holding the undersides of your arms, ready to pull you up with him. You nodded. You were wobbly, every part of you cracked and stretched deliciously. You gave a tiny wave to those around you who were still watching. Astarion ignored them, finding time later to explain what just happened sounded like a better idea than trying to do it now. Astarion gently led you over to his tent, sitting you gently on his bedroll, he sat in front of you. You admired one another in a comfortable silence. You let your hand reach out for him, your fingers caressing his cheek. He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and kissing your palm at the action. 

“What do we do now?” You asked, a hint of apprehension in your voice. You’d been in the ground a long time, the fear of re-entering society seemed daunting. 

“I suppose we… carry on?” Astarion laughed slightly at the end, it sounded so simple but he knew the challenges ahead. 

You held his hands, smoothing your fingers over the backs of them. “Can’t believe you brought me back.” You smiled up at him briefly.

Astarion’s smile faltered, “Why’s that?”

“I just thought… maybe you’d... Forgotten about me? Found a new love, a new life. I wouldn’t blame you if you had, you know that right?” You didn’t want to be dreary but the thoughts weighed you down slightly. Astarion’s happiness is all that mattered to you, even if you weren’t a part of it anymore. 

Astarion shook his head roughly, “You’re my only love, my only life. My position is by your side no matter what. No matter where.” 

You kissed him again, skidding the shoulders of your shirt down so your chest was revealed. You had waited so long to have him again, and judging by his reaction, he was just as eager. He pulled you close, grabbing at your exposed flesh. He worshiped every part of you that night. As you did him. Centuries had passed and he still knew your body like it was his own. You found pleasure and love in one another endlessly that night. 

When you awoke, you found Astarion gazing at you, running his fingers deftly over your face. “Hello little love.” he whispered, kissing you. 

“Ya know… I never thought we’d get to do that again.” you blushed a bit pulling the blanket closer to your chest. 

“Alas, I never gave up hope of getting to enjoy all of this again.” he said in a flirtatious tone. 

Astarions smile faded when he ran his thumb over your neck. Moving your hair he saw the scar of two puncture wounds. Even in resurrecting you, it could not destroy the evidence of your cause of death. Astarion felt sick about it. He remembered the taste of you. He could taste your fear, and worst of all, he liked it. It drove him to the brink of insanity, it wracked him with guilt. 

You took his hand in yours, kissing his fingertips. “It wasn’t your fault.” you whispered. 

“Doesn’t make it haunt me any less.” he pulled you into his chest, trying to radiate his apology somehow. You could see how horrible he felt and it broke your heart. You kissed him softly, pecking his lips over and over again before he relented and kissed you back. He threw your leg over his hip, pulling you closer. 

“It was never, and will never, be your fault. The past is gone. When you open your eyes, the world will be a better place.” You whispered to him while you thumbed over his cheek bones, kissing the tip of his nose before he opened his eyes.

You’d always know how to talk to him, ever since you were children. Nobody had a way with him quite like you did. He smiled at you softly, how was everything always so easy with you? You’d been gone for so long and yet, it felt like you had never left. You picked up right where you left off. He adored that about you; he adored everything about you. 

He kissed your shoulder, “Come.” He said as he got up, finding his clothes. You did as instructed, trying to think of where he’d take you. He led you through the city until you reached where the mountains met the beach. You followed him inside a cave and found a cottage. No sun shone here, you could see rays of light peeking in from the cave mouth but that was it. The sun was never out of reach here. “Our house, unfortunately, is long gone… so…. Maybe this can be our new home? Close to the water for you, in the shadows for me. A pleasant compromise I think.” 

“How did you even find this?” You asked, walking around the outside of the cottage. Sea shells adorned it in random locations, almost as if it had been submerged once upon a time. 

“Cazador had very deep pockets that I’m now privy to. Nothing is out of our reach darling.” He winked at you slyly. 

You rolled your eyes, chuckling at him. He pulled you inside gently. It was quaint and simple, everything you could want or need. Not too extravagant which surprised you. Astarion always did have expensive tastes. But for you he settled with things you would both like. You wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning against the kitchen counter, “How did I get so lucky?” 

Astarion didn’t reply, he simply smiled before pulling you into a deep kiss. “Stay with me?” He whispered on your lips.

“In every lifetime…” you promised. 

“Always.” He kissed you as the word floated out of him, elated to have everything he’d ever wanted.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello darlings! Here is part two as promised, I hope you all enjoy. I go back to work this week and am still recovering from surgery so it might be a little dry during the week but I am hoping to post one more fic today to keep everyone tied over. Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Ilysm xoxoxoxo!!!

Every Lifetime

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC

Masterlist

Part 2

Warnings: Cazador being awful, violence, main character death, angst, compulsion, sad af

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Cazador removed Astarions blindfold roughly. His eyes taking time to adjust, he struggled a bit against the binds that tied his hands behind him. Cazador threw you down in front of Astarion. He swore his heart squeezed so tight in his chest he could hear it cracking. You were closer to Cazador than Astarion ever wanted you to be. 

“How rude of you not to introduce us to your friend. Did I raise you without manners, boy?” Cazador spat as he pulled you away from Astarion by your hair. You let out a shriek which only made Cazador pull harder. Astarion struggled but with his wrists and ankles bound there was nothing he could do. 

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You and Astarion had known each other since you were young. Nearly inseparable as you grew up amongst the high elves despite being a drow. Astarion and you took care of each other and eventually went to Baldur’s Gate together, tasting freedom as adults for the first time. Neither of you ever said it, but neither needed to. You were it for each other. Like perfect puzzle pieces. You never yearned for another, always finding safety and solace in one another. 

The night Astarion was made a spawn was the worst night of your life. The gur beat you as well, not nearly as badly as they had him though. They just wanted you out of the way. You watched through hazy vision as Astarion went limp, battered and bloody, before they took him from the house you shared. You awoke the next day, everything destroyed and no Astarion to be found. You grew cold as your heart locked itself away. 

100 years passed but you remained in Baldur’s Gate. Astarion was your only home, so you settled in the last place you were together. You opened a little shop, making potions of different varieties. You made a good life for yourself. And yet, you felt so alone in the world. You never stopped wanting for Astarion. So when you bumped into him on your way home from your shop you were sure you were hallucinating. It was him but it wasn’t. This Astarion had white hair, red eyes, and fangs. He had been keeping an eye on you from the shadows since the day he was turned. He didn’t trust himself to be around you, not with the sanguine hunger constantly clawing its way up his throat. For 100 years he watched your flourish, and yet, you had an air about you that felt lonely. He missed you endlessly. Sometimes the thoughts and memories of you were all that kept him going. Cazador was a cruel master, he never wanted you mixed up with him. But Astarion couldn’t help it, he had gone without for 100 years. But having you in front of him, he couldn’t resist. No words were shared as you both attached your lips to each other fervently. Every emotion being let out into the kiss, both of you could feel tears on your faces. When you finally did break for air you held him tightly as he did with you. The cold aura you had melted away in an instant, you had him back. Your little star. Still as handsome as ever, but there was pain in him, you could see it. You pulled him into your house, the very same you had both resided in once. He looked around, smiling softly. It was very, you. Just the way he’d imagined it. 

“How?” was all you said, looking at him with big wet eyes.

“That night… I was so close to death, a man named Cazador promised he could save me… I was so afraid… I accepted and he turned me into this… this monstrous thing.” 

You could hear the hateful quiver in his voice. But also one of fear, of nervousness. You went to him, holding his face, looking deep into his eyes. “Vampire or not you are still my little star. Nothing will change that.” you kissed him again. He held you close, afraid that the last 100 years had changed him too much. 

He told you everything. Showed you the scars. Explained why he couldn’t stay but how he would always come back for you. And he did, he visited as often as he could. His master kept him on a short leash but you were just elated to have your love back. The world seemed brighter, sweeter. 

Until this fateful evening. The knock on the door wasn’t Astarion but another vampire. You had no time to react before he hit you, knocking you out, the world fading to black. And now you were here, in a grand palace being dragged away by your hair. Cazador held up a dagger, ready to strike you down before a devious little thought crossed his mind. Astarion begged and pleaded as Cazador stalked back to him. Do anything to him just please let you go. 

“Oh… Oh I see! How you have grown up Astarion. Find love did you? Well, why don’t you love them… to death.” Cazador laughed. He compelled Astarion to walk to you, forcing himself on top of you. You whimpered, not afraid of Astarion but afraid of what Cazador would do to him. You could see the same fear reflected in his own eyes. They were big and soft, you knew it wasn’t him doing any of this. 

“Please…” Astarion begged once more, tears streaming down his face. It almost made Cazador’s undead heart stir. Almost. 

“Drink.” Cazador demanded. Astarion let out a sob before sinking his teeth into your neck. You yelped, the unexpected pain catching you off guard. You could feel gulp after gulp of blood leaving you. You knew you were going to die, you made peace with it quickly. You tangled your hand into Astarions wispy locks. “I’ll find you again. In every lifetime. Always.” you reassured him. You grew cold, your hand falling limply from his hair. “Goodbye little star… I love you…” was the last you could manage to mumble out before slipping into oblivion.

When Cazador finally released Astarion he fell next to you, his body wracked with sobs. He traced his fingers softly over your face. “Darling please… wake up… I’m so sorry… I didn’t want to…” 

Cazador stalked over to him, making him rise out of compulsion. “You have no one in this world but me, boy. You’d do well to remember that.” he tossed Astarion aside, leaving him alone in the large palace hall. All Astarion could do was cradle your lifeless body, whispering to you, rocking you. Dreaming you would stir, you would wake up and reassure him everything was fine. 

You never did. He buried you himself, next to the same grave Cazador made him claw his way out of. He needed to be able to see you again, somewhere to find peace with you. He swore to you he would defeat Cazador. He would find you again, bring you back. In every lifetime. Always.

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Naboo's Note:

Ahhhhhh! So sad but fear not, there will be a part two! I'm hoping to get it out tomorrow or Saturday. Thank you all for being patient with me, today is the first day since surgery I haven't been 100% bed bound from the pain. Thank you all for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Ilysm, see you again very soon! xoxoxoxo