Anaspiringarsonist - Wanted By The Feds - Tumblr Blog

me: Do you like Wildbow?

worm fandom: He’s OK

me: His early work was a little too big on SpaceBattles for my tastes, but when Twig came out in 2014, I think he really came into his own, commercially and artistically. The whole novel has a bleak, emotionally raw tone, and a new sheen of character development and focus on dynamics that really gives the stakes a big boost. He’s been compared to Brandon Sanderson, but I think Wildbow has a far more bitter, cynical, sense of humour.

worm fandom: Hey tumblr user txttletale?

me: Yes, worm fandom?

worm fandom: Why are there copies of the Pale extra materials all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?

me: No, worm fandom.

worm fandom: Is that a rain coat?

me: Yes it is! In 2015, Wildbow released this, Ward, his longest novel. I think his undisputed masterpiece is Amy Dallon, a character so homophobic, most people probably don’t internalize the themes of her arc. But they should, because it’s not just about how lesbians are dangerous sex freaks, it’s also a genuinely impactful narrative statement about the limitations of concepts like redemption and forgiveness when it comes to trauma and healing.

[raises axe above head]

me: Hey r/parahumans!

[i bash the collective worm fandom in the head with the axe. blood splatters over me]

me: TRY STARTING DISCOURSE ABOUT VICTORIA NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARDS!

I really wish I was in a headspace to do some thematic analysis of the latest Claw chapters, delve into the argument between Ben and Mia and how Valentina is being used to position them for the audience, but unfortunately I have no brain space for this. I'm too busy kicking my feat up and giggling about how Mia accordion'ed a man's neck. I'm focused on her gripping a guy's lower jaw for leverage and using his head to bash in another person's head. Holy Hell. Carson is Wildbow's most relatable character.

i think important thing to note in worm is that Cauldrons plan fully succeeded. It wasn’t a very defined plan, but i think it’s worth mentioning that Scion was eventually stopped by Taylor (1) , who lived in the USA on earth Bet (2), who was a supervillain (3) for the first few months of her career, joined the Protectorate(4), was modified by Panacea (5) and managed to become incredibly powerful through her synergy with Clairvoyant and Doormaker (6), and defeated Scion using an army of every cape in existence (7).

(1) A character who was raised in a society indoctrinated with heroic values by cauldron)

(2) A society that only exists because of constant active intervention by Cauldron

(3) A stable position in society that only exists because it was artificially created by cauldron for non conforming capes

(4) An organisation founded and maintained by cauldron

(5) An inhabitant of the birdcage, which was created by cauldron to store powerful parahumans in case their abilities could be used for situations like this

(6) Two very powerful capes specifically created by cauldrons human experimentation

(7) Several thousand of which only exist because of Cauldron directly

Like, there’s often a perception especially with new readers that Cauldron were incompetent and committed a bunch of human rights violations for no reason, until Taylor had to step in and use her mega cool powers to show them how it’s really done. But that’s just not accurate, because it’s not accounting for how much of the setting is directly tied to Cauldron. Without Cauldron, Taylor grows up in a post apocalyptic world, where capes have no expectations of using their powers to help others, and live even shorter and more brutal lives than in canon. Cauldrons plan was to maximise their odds of a bullshit power interaction being able to defeat Scion, and it worked! Everyone say thank you doctor mother right now

the baby eidolon clone is so funny to me because literally everyone comments to call it ugly. Eidolon is so unfathomably unappealing that even as an infant everyone pauses to go damn what a mid ass baby.

Eidolon/Hero: peak obviously.

eidolon/contessa: this is like putting a bunch of knives in a bag and shaking it really hard.

eidolon/custodian: oughthghhh….

eidolon/alexandria: oh both of you are not normal

eidolon/legend: toxic yaoi but not like that

eidolon/doctor mother: I actually don’t think this is mommy kink. The enlightened mind understands that this is a doctor patient dynamic which is actually more fucked up for them

eidolon/number man: degradation kink

eidolon/exalt: boss-employee one sided hatesex

Eidolon/dispatch: I actually think they could be cute

eidolon/vikare: doomed yaoi

eidolon/string theory: murder is a sex thing

Eidolon/richter: this much concentrated guyfailure could kill a man

eidolon/eden: terrible. I want 500 fics.

eidolon/scion: extremely funny actually.

BREAKING BROCKTON BAY NEWS: ARMSMASTER DEMOTED, APOLOGIZES FOR RESPONDING "literally me" TO A PHO POST ABOUT WANTING TO KILL DAUNTLESS

I think I love the Phir Se chapters the most out of anything in Worm. "Oh yeah real actual time travel is real, yeah the super busted kind of time travel. Also here's a non Manton limited teleporter that can just instantly kill you. Anyways they're kinda mid honestly. You're never going to see them ever again."

ok

somebody had probably done this before but

I am going to be laughing at how badly Alexandra and Tagg screwed the pooch for hours at this rate holy shit nothing could have prepared me for just how comically stupid they both were in Arc 22 and especially 22.4. I knew it was coming but I didn't expect it to be so fucking funny.

Or to be so damn happy about it.

Taylor Worm is everything people think Vriska Homestuck is and its so glorious to see

I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.

A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.

The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.

The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.

A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.

A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.

Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.

Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.

Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".

A society where "our family is better than the family we took them from" is a defense against kidnapping. Moreover, being kidnapped a few times is seen as healthy for children to help them develop a well rounded view of the world. Some parents see child raising as a competitive sport where the one who can keep the most children as a sign of high status and that you are clearly winning at parenting.

films dont play for me any more because i made the wizard of the moving picture upset. now i cant watch rocky balboa and i cant watch the incredibles. they sent me an award for the least movies watched because of how decrepit i was to the wizard, who cursed me to never watch a single film again in my life. if i could take it back, i wouldnt, because i hate the wretched wizard. if i saw the wizard i would say "hey, you dope, you forgot this" and i would flip. him. off. i hate the wizard of the moving picture. and you should too.

He's so real

Everyone talks about the wonderbread guy but nobody talks about how the wonderbread isn't necessarily the fetish object - it's supposed to symbolize like overcommodification or something. Like wonderbread is such a synthetic suburban concoction it implies wherever it is, that area has become gentrified and mown over by capitalism and this like caricature of commodification. That's why all the other pics the dude commissions are women (typically white and blonde) chopping down forests and stuff. The fetish isn't the bread. The fetish is this extreme caricature of earth and culture being consumed by the unstoppable force of like. Sterile Kroger marketability and commerce. That's why the women are always BUYING the bread and not like, fucking it. Its not about the loaves people. It's about Karen Bad End TF.

Not to paint Fandom(tm) with a broad brush here but I feel like if you've convinced yourself that everything good about a work was an accident the retrograde idiot creators put in by mistake you're just, probably not a fan of it any more?

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

not pictured: the gang vandalizes a beloved public landmark

so I finally picked up a comic book, and I'm starting to suspect that what I thought was a specific type of bad worm fanfic voice is actually normal superhero comic voice.

sometimes you forget to not feed the trolls…

anyways, hey gang. it’s ya girl, skittersdrippygirlcock, back from the dead. minor intro post, still worm fanning, legally admitting i am 16.

average cauldron fan

In the compound. Straight up meeting it. And by "it" well, lets justr say, The Slug.

Is Pact an Evil Fucking Wizard or a Wizard Fistfight story?