I Keep Using My Girlfriend With Unusual Work Hours To Get Out Of Coworker Interactions And Happy Hours

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

Six of crows and the Madagascar penguins have the same energy

New characters from me and @The super interesting life of jj

I had such a cute (and kinda sad) wesper idea!

Jesper helps out at a mental institute, just helping the patients. He'll read to them or listen to their stories - is just a general helpful boi

One of the patients he helps is a lovely woman called Marya he's reading a book to. Some days, he'll have to repeat chapters he's already read because she insists the last chapter she remembers was chapter 4, even though he read chapter 5 last week. But other than that, she's fine

One day, Jesper comes in and Marya's got a visitor. Her son

Love it already but I'll read it 😌

I love that he'd be such a good boi 🥺 This aligns with volunteer Jesper from NH&HVB and I LOVE IT

OH MY GOD 😭 I LOVE THIS BLAIZE I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COME UP WITH THESE PLEASE I LOVE IT

Jesper knows what Wylan looks like because of all the paintings Marya's done but he expects Wylan to be like 7 because that's how Marya paints him so he's surprised to see this guy around his age who is so much prettier and real life and super nervous to see his mom and Jesper is so glad to help because he knows Marya misses her son 🥺🥺🥺

burning man 2023 explained

burning man is a festival for rich white people who want to smoke weed and trip acid in the nevada desert and pretend they're one with the earth. it's not a music festival or anything that serves any purpose, it's just vibes

a hundred year flash flood just hit nevada, including where burning man is being held this very weekend

dry desert ground can't suddenly absorb water, let alone that much water all at once, so now burning man is a giant mud pit with THICK deep mud

nobody can get in or out, so they closed all the roads

FEMA just told the *73,000 PEOPLE* stranded at burning man to shelter in place, ration food and water, and essentially "you're on your own, good luck"

the port-o-potties are overflowing into the mud they're all walking around in

the official CDC twitter account tweeted (and then deleted) that there's a confirmed ebola outbreak at burning man, but people are pretty sure it's just trench illnesses. like actual WWI trench illnesses

earlier this week, climate activists protested against burning man, and all the attendees drove right past them (and yelled at them, and tried to get them arrested, etc)

there's a private jet at burning man where people can join the mile high club. it just takes off and lands all day and lets people fuck in it. no word yet on the fuck plane's current status/location

and lastly: when the ground here gets wet, the sea monkeys hatch

This thread is incredibly important to read.

It is also extremely difficult to read. I don't know if I need to point this out, but the document itself is obviously full of bigotry so please take care of yourself if you choose to read it. Antisemitic phrases like "cultural marxism" and "global elites" appear before the document even really gets rolling, and are mixed in with transphobia, racism, and more.

If you want a taste of how this document starts in the first main section about "The Family", here is a taste:

"This starts with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity (“SOGI”), diversity, equity, and inclusion (“DEI”), gender, gender equality, gender equity, gender awareness, gender-sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and any other term used to deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists."

It is all bad. ALL of this document is bad, and dangerous, and threatens the lives and the safety of everyone living in this country.