Season 2 Trailer Just Dropped, And I Am Having Such Mixed Emotions About It, While I Am So Hyped To Finally

Season 2 trailer just dropped, and I am having such mixed emotions about it, while I am so hyped to finally see it all become animated. There is a part of me, that is kind dissatisfied with the animation in some regards. But, I want to see more trailers. And GOJO eyes don’t seem, as striking. Maybe it’s because of how bright everything seems to be, compared to season 1. Where season 1, is more dark and daunting. Though, this is way before everything hit the fan, so that may have a factor in it as well.

THESE ARE MY OWN SCREENSHOTS PLEASE DONT USE WITHOUT CREDIT!

i refuse to believe yuji and inumaki FORGOT to tell gojo that sukuna's domain is barrierless. I REFUSE.

BTS Reacts: You Ask to Share a Bed With Them For the First Time

Seokjin:

Jin would act normal for the most part after you suggested sharing a bed and would genuinely feel okay for the day leading up to the night you two would be doing so. This all changed when he actually began to get ready for bed. He would brush his teeth before you, then wait in bed, awkwardly sitting straight up against the headboard. When you were done, you quickly ran under the covers to escape the cold. His eyes widened at your boldness, studying your face as you smiled sweetly up at him, holding the blanket open for him to get under. He was suddenly aware that he hadn't even gotten inside of the actual bed, he had been sitting on top of the blankets. The feeling of awkwardness slowly drifted away as he got used to the feeling of having you facing him on your side, head tucked in against his chest. The experience of waking up still holding you was something Jin wouldn't trade for the world.

Yoongi:

Believe it or not, I think Yoongi would have this situation handled the best. He of course wanted to feel closer with you but he didn't want to be too forward and waited for you to make the first suggestion. Your comfort and happiness was at the forefront of his mind, he would hate to pull something on you too soon for your liking. When you first brought it up, he would act calm and collected, not making a huge deal out of it. If you didn't know him better or see the tiny smile showing on his face, he would almost have seemed bored. When nighttime came, he was nervous but could tell that you were as well. He pushed his own nerves aside and even asked if you were still okay with doing this. Yoongi was going about this in the most mature way that he could manage. As his eyes opened in the morning and saw the soft rays of sun peeking through the curtain grazing your skin, a ot of the formality disappeared, feeling completely safe with you next to him.

Hoseok:

While traveling with the boys around the tour, you had asked Hoseok as casually as you possibly could if you guys could try getting a room with one bed, instead of the usual two. For a moment, he was too stunned to speak. Once he fully processed that you really asked, he would flash you the widest grin before agreeing to it. His stomach was filled with butterflies at the thought of holding you through the night before waking up next to you and being the first thing he sees. A smile would never leave his face, even keeping himself up most of the night out of excitement.

Namjoon:

Despite the feelings between you two being strong enough to get to this point, he was still afraid of accidentally making you uncomfortable. He would go out of his way to gather up items and prepare for the night to make you as comfy as possible, physically and mentally. If you were at his house, he would offer to help bring things over from your place, or even let you know that he would be perfectly okay with going to yours for the night instead. Once the two of you made it into bed, Namjoon would desperately trying to keep his cool and hide the fact that he was a red-eared, blushing mess. He would be unsure of how to lay or even move at first but the more tired he got, the more the anxiety was fading. To his delight, he awoke the next morning and the first thing he felt was you sleeping soundly with your head on his chest, your warm breath falling onto his skin.

Jimin:

Smiles all around!!! Jimin would manage to pull himself together and act cool and collected when you suggested sleeping in the same bed for the first time. However, once bedtime became closer and closer, his smiles became increasingly nervous looking. The last thing he wanted to do was unintentionally drive you away from the idea and make you change your mind so he did his best to hide his worried emotions. When the time came and you both climbed into the bed, you immediately snuggled up to him, your arm draped across his abdomen. It took him longer than usual to fall asleep, thoughts running wild and hoping you wouldn't be woken up by the sound of his racing heart beat.

Taehyung:

Wouldn't even try to hide how excited he was for this. He couldn't get enough of hugging you, holding you, or cuddling with you any other time, so why wouldn't he be intoxicated with the idea that he could hold you all night? In fact, he frequently thought about it every time the two of you parted ways for the night; what it would be like to place his arm around your waist as you huddled under the blankets together. Taehyung was so in love with the idea that for the rest of the day after you asked, he was trying to come up with excuses and reasons why you two should go to bed early.

Jungkook:

*Cue the Jungshook meme* Oh man. Absolute internal chaos. Yes, he is a grown man now but.....it's you! Jungkook looks at you like you're the most beautiful creature to ever walk the Earth and now you're asking to sleep with him in the same bed?? Whack. Can't believe it's real and can't understand how and what he did to deserve such an amazing person to love. All of this would be storming through his brain as he realized he had been staring at you blankly for a solid minute after you asked. He would agree, saying yes a little too fast and eager. For the rest of the day he would be panicking over the little details. What pajamas do I wear? Should I buy candles?? Do I need more blankets??? Do I....what if they get grossed out by my morning breath???? The time for you to sleep came and he swore he physically felt all of his worries slipping away once he felt your head rest down on his chest and fall away into a deep sleep. His stiff as a board body would slowly relax underneath the weight of you, his own state of sleep taking over.

Long time no see or talk or post everyone! I’ve been busy, lost interest in writing and posting etc. But here soon, once I have more free time, I may start to post again! Maybe even continue a series, or something. But it’s all good, plus I’m in my feels.

Title: Falling Into Place

Pairing: Shinichiro x Reader

Summary: A few misfortunate and fortunate events lead to you dating the leader of the Black Dragon. It turns out it’s not so bad. | Genre: Fluff | Warning: Bullying, some light angst | Words: 17.3K

‘Are we going to make one for Sano as well?’

Your hand that had just put your school shoes into your shoe locker paused briefly.  

When you came into the hallway to change your shoes, you did notice several girls from the B-class standing together and talking about something. Still, you did your best to ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t see you. You wished it was that easy. You wouldn’t bother them, and they would leave you alone, but you weren’t always that lucky.

You knew some of them from elementary and middle school, and it seemed with every year you were unfortunate enough to end up in the same school as them, they’ve only gotten worse. Even those you didn’t know personally growing up, you still knew to some extent. If only because they were all the same.

Mean, untrustworthy followers with obnoxious giggles. 

You were grateful that now in high school, you, at the very least, were lucky enough to end up in the A-class where it seemed the girls were much nicer or at least not as much under the influence of one girl in particular. The girl that was the sole reason you paid attention to what they were about to say, sensing something shitty and shady was coming.

‘What? Sano?’ asked the girl in that sweet voice you long since knew was just an act, just as everything else about her, ‘Well, I would love to. But I don’t support delinquents!’ she even added a little giggle at the end, causing some of the other girls who were standing around her to laugh as well. You rolled your eyes at her fake kindness.

‘I guess he will just remain a loser for Valentine’s Day too,’ said another one of your classmates just as you closed your locker shut, sparking another outburst of giggles from some of the girls and for you to frown even if you didn’t say anything and instead left so you didn’t have to be in the presence of those girls a moment longer.

‘Goodbye, y/n-chan. Have a nice day,’ called that girl with her sweet voice after you, and you had no choice but to wave at her and mumble a goodbye. You heard her comment on it. Something like that’s okay. She’s shy like that, and you force yourself to continue to walk, hoping you would be out of her mind, too, if you were out of her sight.

Stepping outside the school and breathing the fresh air you didn’t have to share with that girl and her followers was soul-cleansing.

You supposed everyone experienced a girl like that every once in their lives. Someone who always gathered a following and admiration from girls and boys alike. She always seemed to have it all together, a good and secure family, lots of friends, exciting experiences and vacations, and good grades, and everyone seemed to buy into her sweet persona. Everyone but you, it seemed.

This girl was like that ever since you knew her, and as shameful as it was to admit it yourself, it did take you a couple of years to correctly figure it out and see her for who she really was.

Before, you supposed you were one of her followers or at least getting there until, for some reason, she decided to exclude you from the group and make you a target instead. She had to have a reason. She had a reason for everything she did, but you never really understood why. Either way, you always told yourself you were better off especially given what you just heard.

Now, every time you heard or noticed another one of the mean tricks, she liked to pull on people unfortunate enough to simply met her in life, you couldn’t help but think about all those things she did before, even those you didn’t think were all that mean or cruel at the time, in a new light.

Are we going to make one for Sano?

No way!

Those words and that obnoxious giggle haunted you all the way home as you recalled your past experiences with that girl.

You knew what she was planning since something similar already took place in middle school. Back then, you two were classmates, and you naively believed friends because of how friendly and sweet she was. She suggested you and your female classmates should bake giri choco (obligatory chocolates) for every boy in your class so they wouldn’t feel excluded if they didn’t have anyone who wanted to confess to them.

Back then, it sounded like such a nice gesture. You really admired her for being such a good person. Of course, all the other girls agreed, and you all baked chocolates and handed them out on Valentine’s Day.

Everyone was happy and praised her for how nice and thoughtful she was to suggest such an idea. Even the teachers seemed impressed. You were impressed. Even if some of you were slightly disappointed since that was the year you tried to gather the courage to make chocolate for your crush. The friendly and funny boy who lived two houses from you and used to play with you behind his house. You liked him a lot and for a really long time, and you were hopeful that he might like you back. In the end, even if you couldn’t confess that year, you were glad to see so many people were in a good mood, and you took part in making it happen. It really boosted your self-esteem and made you giddy.

And besides, you told yourself, there was always next year. You weren’t going to be selfish after all.

Then a month later came White Day, and the boys, following the girls’ example, gave out white chocolates and other sweets to every single girl except for you.

You were shocked and humiliated, waiting for every single break until the last one when you would find something on your desk or your school bag, only to be crushed when you were the only one left without any gift at the end of the day. You didn’t understand it. Sure, you weren’t confident or naïve enough to expect a confession from your crush or anyone else. Still, at the very least, you did expect a reciprocate chocolate like all your classmates.

Your self-esteem and mood hit their lowest by the end of the school day when everyone talked about what they got and played a guessing game of which boy gave out their sweets, only for you to put your shoes on with a red face and tears threatening to break out of your eyes. You remembered being so confused, hurt, mortified, and upset.

As if the cruel fate wasn’t done with you just yet, that girl pointed out how weird it was and told you not to be sad that you ‘were the only one’ who didn’t get anything loud enough for every girl to hear and take pity on you.

At that moment, just as some girls patted your back or tried to hug you, reassuring you not to feel too bad about it, you saw that girl’s tiny smile. You thought it was cruel of her to smile when you were this upset. It was the first time you thought of her as anything other than a sweet and good person and friend.

It wasn’t until graduation that one of your classmates said she asked around and heard that someone spread the word that you didn’t participate in giving out the chocolate and, therefore, shouldn’t get any on White Day. By then, you were a target of some other jokes, so you already knew what that girl was all about and that she was behind this all.

It wasn’t the first time you heard about something that girl was planning. Although you knew it was shitty of her, you weren’t the type to tell on her, fearing what she might do to hurt you if she found out. You already ended up as her target a few times, and it was soul-crushing, to say the least.

At times, you often wished you were someone else. Someone braver who could stand up to her and who others would believe, but even in your fantasies, you more often than not allowed insecurities and self-doubt to win, imagining everyone calling you a liar and taking her side.

Sighing, you knew there wasn’t anything you could do. Not really, at least.

But...Sano-san will be hurt if he’s the only one without chocolate.

It shouldn’t bother you all that much.

You didn’t know Sano that well, apart from living in the same area and often ending up in the same schools. You two were always in different classes. You probably never even spoke directly to each other. You had a faded memory that you and a few other kids played tag together, but by then, you couldn’t even be sure about that.

And he was a delinquent. Everyone knew he was a part of the Black Dragon, their leader, so that should have been an immediate red flag that he wasn’t a good person, and everyone should stay away, but… 

You found yourself chewing on your lips nervously while walking home, taking the extended tour to gather your thoughts a bit.

Remember how much it sucked when you were excluded from something?

You crossed your arms, hoping you wouldn’t start to cry about something that happened back in middle school now, and instead thought about what you could do, missing the increasing sound of an approaching motorcycle.

‘Hey, look out!’ someone called. Before you knew it, you were pulled toward something solid and warm simultaneously as something fast and loud speeded by your ear, causing you to cower even more into the warmth, fearing you would get hit.

‘Fucker!’ you heard a male curse close to your other ear. You blinked a couple of times before glancing up, only to find Sano Shinichiro frowning at something in front of him.

You were stunned and confused, wondering if you mentally somehow brought the boy to your path by thinking about him and what that girl was planning so hard, only to realize that you were extremely close to him. In fact, given the pressure you felt around your shoulders and the warmth against your chest, side, and belly that seemed to pay no attention to the fact that you still had your uniform on, you realized he was holding you. You were in his arms.

‘S-Sano-san, w-what-what-?’ you stuttered, feeling your face grow red at the realization that Sano Shinichiro, a boy, this boy, was holding you against his chest with his body pressed into yours and his face so close you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

His dark eyes blinked, and before you could finish your questions, they were on you, and well, they were dark.

Your own eyes blinked, and your words drifted into silence as you were met with his gaze for the first time, noticing that Sano Shinichiro’s eyes were really dark. It wasn’t uncommon to have dark eyes in this country, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but think you didn’t often see dark eyes that were so pretty.

Upon meeting yours, that frown that was causing his brows to furrow and wrinkles over his forehead smoothed out, and his dark eyes obtained a very soft look.

Handsome, your mind supplied. Sano Shinichiro was lovely when he had this soft look inside his pretty dark eyes.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, and once again, you could only blink, feeling out of character with yourself over what was happening, ‘W-what?’

‘He was driving like a maniac. He almost caught you that close to the sidewalk,’ he said, and you blinked again, taking his words and their meaning in realizing he probably saved you from the potential harm of some reckless driver. You wouldn’t even see it coming.

‘Oh, thank you,’ you said and felt the shock sustaining only for embarrassment and self-awareness to catch on, ‘Uh,’ you swallowed, worried your face was as red as a tomato before you finally said, ‘You can let me go now.’

That soft look disappeared as his eyes widened twice their size, and Sano pushed you away from him so fast you felt a bit hurt, ‘S-sorry, I didn’t mean to… I swear I’m not…like that!’

You pushed your personal feelings aside, realizing he probably was worried you would think he was a pervert for holding you that long. Not to mention you took pity on him knowing how often you worried what people might think about you, ‘It’s alright. You still saved my life, I think. Thank you.’

He reached to the back of his head and scratched his neck, looking really shy and uncomfortable now, ‘It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright, y/l/n.’

You raised your eyebrows, unable to hide your surprise, ‘You know my name?’

Sano dark eyes shifted to your face again, ‘Of course, we’ve been in the same school since kindergarten. Never in the same class, though. It’s a bit funny,’ he chuckled, and a relaxed smile took hold of his face.

It suits him.

‘Yes, strange,’ you said, momentarily hypnotized by him. It was the first time you spoke to one another, engaged in contact, and overall shared an experience which must have been why it felt so odd.

You straightened yourself and fixed your school uniform, trying to gain some composure, ‘Well, have a nice day. I need to go home.’

It wasn’t the whole truth, but you didn’t know how to end the moment like this.

Sano didn’t seem to mind offering you another smile and a lazy but calm goodbye wave. Despite his reputation, he had a relaxed and positive aura around him. One you couldn’t seem to escape either.

‘Hey, you did?’ asked Sano and snatched some bags out of the hands of someone who must have been in the same gang as him even if that person didn’t even ask him to, ‘I was thinking about your problem and maybe….’

He and his friend got too far for you to hear, but it all still left an impact, wondering if you shouldn’t have warned him.

Wouldn’t you be more prepared if someone warned you that you were about to be singled out on White Day? Wouldn’t you somehow manage to skip school just to avoid the humiliation and spare some of your feelings? Wouldn’t you be grateful that you still had at least one ally despite everything?

You were too much of a coward to come up to Sano and tell him what that girl was planning to do. You couldn’t leave a note because there might be a chance that he would show it to someone and recognize your handwriting. He might have been a delinquent, but you knew about his failed attempts at confessing and how heavily he was ridiculed about it behind his back. You doubted even someone like him would manage to survive a mocking from that girl. In your mind, you couldn’t imagine anyone would.

You didn’t realize you stayed in the same spot looking at him until he turned around and looked back right at you.

Shocked, you realized it would seem like you were watching him leave, which you were, but not because you were just caught up in your thoughts.

About him… but not like THAT!

You turned around and ran, hoping you could save your face at least a little bit.

It really isn’t your problem. You barely know him, and he’s a delinquent. The Leader of Black Dragons.

You stopped yourself since you felt you were being unfair and lying to yourself a bit.

It was hard to explain because his gang friends did partake in the usual activities of minor vandalism, petty crimes, and other delinquent activities; you couldn’t help but think Sano was a decent enough guy. You did see him around the neighborhood. A delinquent or not, you did notice he was friendly to locals, caring, always asking them about their day and sparing precious time humoring them with a chat.

You knew he had three younger siblings he often dealt with and took care of and a grandfather who ran a dojo and was well respected and liked around.

You just couldn’t really label him a just delinquent, not when you could recall so many instances when he was more than that. And this was without you two being friends or talking. Something told you he might be a really good person.

 Besides…he just saved your life, knew your name, and he was-

-your mind supplied the image of his relaxed smile and the soft look in his dark eyes-

Nice.

Like so nice!

Talking to him gave you a comfortable warmth even if you were struggling with your dilemma.

I didn’t deserve to be excluded like that, and neither does Sano, you decided.

Seeing no other option, you came to your kitchen and pulled out some recipe book making Sano Shinichiro homemade chocolate.

Ridiculous, you kept on telling yourself.

It was ridiculous that because of the whole mess in middle school, you were never brave enough to actually make chocolate for your crush. Even an obligatory one that couldn’t be used against you, but here you were working on Sano’s. It must have been the near-death experience and him being your hero with dark eyes-

Don’t think about it! You warned yourself. You were crushing on your classmate, a goodhearted and sweet boy who had lived two houses from your own since middle school, and one of these years, you would have the courage to confess to him or move on. Just because Sano wasn’t so bad didn’t mean he was as good as your crush, and crushing on more than one person seemed selfish, right?

But you finished, and based on some testing, the chocolate turned out pretty good. Definitely even better than when you were in middle school.

You saved my life, Sano-san. Now we’re even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You planned to come to school early and drop the chocolate into Sano’s shoe locker, hoping even delinquents checked those before rushing away. No one would see you. No one would know. Sano would have chocolate just like everyone else. That girl’s malice plan would fail, and you would perhaps gain some good karma for your troubles, maybe in the form of your crush speaking with you on his own for once.

You were pretty sure about your plan, thinking it was more or less bulletproof, making sure not to look too interested in the news that those lovely girls from 3-B gave everyone chocolate up until your lunch break. Mentally, you praised yourself for executing such a rescue mission.

You knew something was up when you heard some of the boys who were eating by their desks whispering about something.

‘You know, y/n-chan,’ started that girl later that day, suddenly appearing by your desk without her usual flock of girls as her entourage.

By all those years you spent in her presence, you knew this meant she was about to do something she didn’t want anyone to witness, and even if you tried to be brave, it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

You offered her your most disinterested face as you turned toward her smiling one you once thought was so pretty but now knew for a fact was just her being malice, ‘You should only give chocolate to people you like or everyone. It’s rather cruel to bring Sano-san’s hopes up like that.’

Your façade cracked as you frowned at the girl gathering some courage, even if not nearly as much as you would have liked, ‘Crueler than excluding him simply because you think you have some imaginary power?’

‘Well, it’s not my fault Sano-san is involved with gangs and such. Actions have consequences, and acting in such a way can really cause a person to be excluded, you know?’ she asked, looking as sweet as honey. Still, you were pretty sure she wasn’t talking just about Sano.

You watched her for a while before she giggled, ‘But that’s not the point, you know? You shouldn’t give chocolate to people you don’t like, y/n-chan. If you were going to single someone out. Wouldn’t you have picked someone else?’

She watched you like she knew a secret, which you thought was impossible because you never spoke or hinted that you were crushing on your classmate, your crush, even when you were friends.

She doesn’t know. She’s just being her usual self, trying to get under my skin. 

But then she giggled and looked ahead, and as much as you hated it, your eyes followed as well. There were three boys standing in front of another of your classmate’s desks, so you could have been looking at anyone, but when your eyes moved back, she was already looking at you like a canary who caught the mice, ‘It’s not very nice to get someone’s hopes up.’

You thought that was rather ominous and feared retaliation. Still, when she didn’t say anything else and gave you a friendly wave, you could only watch her leave with a sinking heart before your gazes returned to your crush.

Your nerves were getting the best of you, and your imagination created all sorts of scenarios about what she could have planned for you. When you received a note in your shoe locker at the end of the day, you didn’t even bother reading it and immediately tossed it into the trash.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class.

As if!

Like hell, you were stupid enough to be left anywhere without witnesses now.

You instead rushed home, watching your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, you ensured you never had to use the bathroom by sipping as little water as possible. And made sure you were always supervised during class during breaks. It worked since you sprinted down to your shoe lock after class only to find another note.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class. 

Was she seriously trying to do the same thing twice? Well, she did use the same thing she tried in middle school on Valentine’s Day, so it was possible she wasn’t above repeating some things. But it did leave you puzzled.

It’s a trick…right?

Surely, her plan was to get you alone, and you were too cautious to fall for that. You tossed the message away and rushed home repeating everything you did yesterday, except this time, just as you were discussing if you could take a sip of some water, Sano Shinichiro appeared in your classroom, causing some of the boys to bow to him before he stopped by your desk with that relaxed smile on his face, ‘What will it take for you to come to meet me behind the east wall after the damn class?’

Your eyes widened, and your mouth parted, ‘T-that was you?’

Sano blinked, and a slight wrinkle appeared across his face as he frowned, unclear if he was confused or upset, ‘Who else did you think it was?’

Your eyes betrayed you once again, only this time your gaze followed to the door to your classroom, where one of the followers always waited to see if you would leave the room’s safety.

When you saw out of the corner of your eyes that Sano did the same, the girl quickly cowered away. She might have been brave enough to laugh behind his back. Still, just like many other people, she took the fact that Sano was a gang leader seriously enough not to get at odds with him.

It wasn’t the first time you noticed one of the girls from 3-B came to your classroom in the last two days, and you were still unsure what she planned to do if you decided to leave the room, but you didn’t like that she would now go report back to her leader and the other girls.

‘Hey,’ a warm palm suddenly appeared on your shoulder, bringing you back to the moment, ‘Are you alright?’

His frown was smoothed out, but it appeared there was something close to concern in his dark eyes as they traveled through your face trying to read you.

‘Yes,’ you lied, unsure how to explain to someone like Sano what was happening.

He watched you for a second longer as if giving you time to come clean which you couldn’t before he took a deep breath and nodded, taking his hand off you, ‘Behind the east wall after class. Be there, or I’ll come to your house.’

You blinked and leaned away, startled by that idea, ‘Don’t say stuff like that. It’s creepy.’

He blinked before he brushed the back of his head, looking sheepish, ‘I just meant... Just be there, alright?’

You decided to give him a break and nodded, ‘I will,’ your gaze shifted toward the door again, but the girl didn’t return, ‘Be there on time, please.’

‘I will. No worries,’ he assured you with ease, but you genuinely believed him for some reason. You didn’t know much about delinquents besides the rumors and bad reputation, but you assumed that for someone to become a gang leader, they had to be strong and responsible on some level.

You watched Sano leave, wondering what he could want to talk about. Did the girls tell him he wasn’t supposed to get chocolate, and he wanted to thank you? Did they steal it, and he never got it? But you were sure you heard all the boys got it this year from 3-B…, so what gives?

 You changed your shoes and met Sano behind the east wall, where he greeted you with that relaxed smile and sincere look behind his eyes. Oddly, whatever worries you had about what he could possibly want, melted away, at least until he opened his mouth.

‘I brought you this,’ he said. Suddenly, he pushed a white desert box and a plushie of your favorite animal into your arms, ‘I should have waited for March, I know, but I really couldn’t.’

Your eyes blinked as he carried on looking like a nervous wreck with the trembling, rambling, and rubbing of the back of his head messing his styled hair, ‘You were truly thoughtful, and I felt…I still feel really shitty that I didn’t ask you out myself first.’

Strange. He looks nothing like a gang leader now, you thought to yourself, realizing that the corners of your mouth lifted.

You opened your mouth and tried to speak as his words started to make sense, ‘My captains would riot if they knew their leader didn’t make the first move. Damn, it’s so uncool. I asked like twenty girls, and I should have…I should have asked you instead. Pathetic,’ he cursed at himself before his dark eyes widened, and he quickly clarified, ‘I’m pathetic, not you. You… you’re sweet and great.’

You raised your brows, finally managing a ‘You don’t really know me-’ in between his speech, but Sano didn’t waste time and quickly said, ‘I asked around about you.’

Somehow that was like a punch into the stomach that knocked all the air out of you as you suddenly realized what was happening and who was behind this.

You dropped the items in a moment of recklessness and covered Sano’s mouth with your palm, dread creeping into your heart and goosebumps covering your skin, ‘Did the girls in your class tell you about me? You can’t trust them… they’re…they….they play games, and don’t like me.’

Sano’s dark eyes widened a fraction before they dropped, seemingly looking at your palm on his mouth.

Startled, you pulled it away and stepped back, ‘They just… don’t like me.’

Sano frowned a bit, seemingly confused, ‘They said nice things about you.’

You looked away and sighed, wondering why did you bother in the first place. No guy would understand, ‘Trust me,’ you said and crossed your arms over your chest, thinking about their fake smiles and acts of kindness that they were lacking, not to mention their attempts at humiliating you or others, ‘girls aren’t as simple as you guys.’

‘Hey!’ he started, but when your eyes lifted toward him, there was no fight in his posture or expression. He merely rubbed the back of his head, ‘Well, I don’t know much about girls, so I can’t really say much about it.’

You nodded, glad he at least admitted such a thing.

He looked so uncertain now; before, he was nervous but giddy now; he seemed almost lost, ‘Are they like bullying you?’

‘No,’ you said all too quickly. You were unsure. Before, in middle school, you experienced some really shitty things from them. You were sure they bullied you back then, but now it just seemed like they were ignoring you or whispering their bullshit behind your back.

‘Okay. Is it…did I offend you because I didn’t ask you out before?’

You bit the inside of your mouth. You weren’t offended. You honestly didn’t really think about Sano asking girls around. Still, even if he was a delinquent, it was nice to have his attention for a moment right now. It was nice to have any attention, to be completely honest. You would graduate in a few months, and it felt like you were behind on the many things your classmates seemed to achieve. Logically, you knew it wasn’t a big deal and that many people were just late bloomers, but it sucked so damn much to be left out of things all the time.

You didn’t even kiss anyone or go on a single date. You had some friends but knew you weren’t overly liked or missed if you didn’t come to school. You were really lonely if you allowed yourself to think about it too much.

Your eyes fell on your gifts; at least someone thought they wouldn’t mind dating me.

You kneeled down and picked up the items before you returned them to him, ‘I don’t need you to give me anything. To be honest, I just gave you the chocolate because you saved my life the other day.’

And I didn’t want you to feel left out like I do, you thought but refused to say. He would feel bad, and he was lovely in this weird boyish way that seemed to be getting under your skin.

Sano’s face became unreadable, and you genuinely felt terrible, so you tried to explain, ‘I like someone else. Sort of.’

‘Like a boyfriend?’ he Sano, his face still not back to his previous relaxed self, but he sounded more or less like himself. It still made you feel shitty and wonder if you had made a mistake by telling him.

‘Like an unrequired crush,’ you clarified, ‘So don’t feel bad about not asking me out sooner.’

The dark-haired boy still didn’t seem too convinced, but he nodded, ‘I see,’ then, to your delight, he startled to laugh a bit and grinned at you, ‘You know I must have thought up about fifty outcomes for how this would go. This was not it.’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’m just glad I didn’t get jumped or something.’

‘Come on, a bunch of high school girls can’t be that bad,’ he said and waved his hand while you rolled your eyes, ‘Clearly, you never became any girl’s target for bullying.’

He snatched the chocolate from you but nodded at the plushie, ‘Keep it. I still owe you something for the chocolate. It was delicious. Where did you buy it?’

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with pride, ‘I made it. If I was about to give anyone a chocolate, I would do it right.’

Sano opened the desert box and shoved some content into his mouth before offering you some as well.

You supposed there was no harm in that.

‘It was terrific. Your crush must be lucky.’

‘I never gave him any,’ you said and tasted some of the store-bought chocolate. It was good, but homemade was better, ‘It’s too-’

‘Sweet,’ finished Sano with a nod but took another one, ‘How come you never gave your crush any? Isn’t Valentine’s Day a perfect opportunity for that?’

You looked away, ‘It’s…just a crush.’

‘Well,’ Sano watched you for a while, and even if you couldn’t see his face, his voice was very upbeat and supportive, ‘if it’s half as good as the one you gave me, he would have to have dead taste buds not to love it.’

You crushed the plushie of your favorite animal closer to your chest as you felt heat enter your cheeks. It felt good to be praised like that, ‘Thank you, Sano-kun.’

‘Call me Shinichiro,’ he said and put his hand on your shoulder, startling you into looking at him, ‘And he’ll especially love it if it’s coming from such a sweet and nice girl like you, y/n-chan.’

Your eyes blinked several times really fast as a strange warmth spread across your chest. You couldn’t recall the last time some boy used your first name like that or said such a nice thing about you.

Your face burned, and you would much rather Sano wouldn’t notice, so you quickly tried to argue, ‘Don’t say that. You don’t really know me. We talked like three times-’

‘I told you, I asked around-’

‘Ah, no, those girls-’

‘It wasn’t just the girls; even so, they didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You’re nice,’ he smiled, and you had to admit, it was a charming smile, ‘You could have left it with a thank you for helping you out the other day. Still, you invested your time to give me chocolate and…,’ he tilted his head. His dark eyes softened like they did last time, causing your insides to twist a bit, ‘Did you know if it wasn’t for your chocolate, I wouldn’t get any?’

You swallowed, going for a lie, but before you could, he chuckled and grinned, ‘Your face is all red, y/n-chan. If you’re like this with me, I wonder if your crush doesn’t know all about your feelings.’

You pouted and waved his hand finally away from your shoulder since it obviously did something to your circulation and caused you to heat up, ‘Can’t get all red if I don’t talk to him.’

Sano blinked, surprised, ‘Really? That’s sort of stupid.’

‘No one asked you,’ you said and started to walk Sano easily, catching up, ‘I just mean, if you really care for someone, you should tell them before it’s too late.’

‘I don’t plan to ever-’

You barely got behind the corner and froze, forgetting what you were trying to say in the first place.

There clearly, only because you would have to see them when you would be leaving, was your crush hugging that girl in a way that left no doubts about their relationship.

You were left speechless, trying to understand what you saw, even if it couldn’t be more precise.

It felt like a bad dream. You knew realistically, if you never confessed, you didn’t really have any right to feel like someone stole anyone from you, but at that moment, you couldn’t reason with yourself.

Especially not when that girl leaned away and almost immediately looked at you as if she knew you were coming, ‘Ah, what a coincidence, y/n-chan.’

What was worse was that your crush wasn’t even looking at you; he was only looking down at the girl with a dopey smile on his face, clearly like someone who cared a lot about her.

‘Ara, ara,’ said that girl in that sweet voice you long since learned was fake, ‘what’s with those teary eyes?’

Your eyes widened as you realized she wasn’t lying.

You felt your eyes hurt the way they usually did right before you were about to cry. You could even feel the lump inside your throat, which meant if you were to open your mouth and make a single sound, you would start crying like a baby right there in front of your crush, that girl, and Sano.

No! NO! NO! NO!

You must have flinched or moved, ready to bolt it, regardless of how bad it would look, knowing nothing would be more humiliating that crying right now since your crush would find out why.

Suddenly, you felt a firm and grounding touch on your right shoulder, offering comfort even before he spoke confidently and authoritatively, ‘Don’t make fun of her.’

Your heart, which was already speeding from the adrenaline, started to beat even faster, ‘She’s crying because of me.’

Your eyes looked over at Sano and blinked some of the tears, jumping away, but most of them retreated back as you were shocked by his words.

He looked so different now, just as he had when he saved you on the street.

Intense, you thought to yourself. He looked strong enough to make people follow and believe in him. Surprisingly, you included.

‘Huh?’ spoke your crush, but your eyes remained on Sano partly because it relieved you from your heartache to look at him and have him touch your shoulder like that and partly because you feared if you looked back at your crush, you would start to wail.

Then came the chuckle, and your tears were forgotten in favor of shock and anger. It wasn’t a nice fun chuckle. You heard those enough in your lifetime to know that. It was mean, like a mockery.

‘So what? Not only you can’t get a girl, but you also make them cry now?’ ‘joked’ your crush, but you hardly found any humor in such a statement, mainly because being this close to Sano and having his hand on you, you could physically feel him flinch like the comment struck a nerve.

You watched the boy for a while and noticed how he seemed pleased with his joke, and for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t look as handsome or worthy of your admiration. Did he really think so highly and better of himself simply because Sano was involved with gangs? He wasn’t even fearful about the fact just thought it was beneath him.

He had a similar look to the girl who loved to hurt you so much, and at that moment, you couldn’t help but think they probably deserved each other.

‘Now, don’t be like that,’ said that girl in her overly sweet voice, ‘Besides, you shouldn’t make assumptions when you don’t know what really happened. Right y/n-chan?’

You watched the girl feeling your annoyance grow. Why did she always like to toy with you so much? She obviously planned for you to catch them. Did she expect you to confess you were upset because she stole your crush? Did she want you to humiliate Sano by confessing to you and you rejecting him?

You hated how much power she seemed to have.

You brushed your face, annoyed that some tears got away before you said, ‘You’re right,’ you said, and for a moment, you could see how pleased with herself she looked, ‘You shouldn’t make assumptions like that. You’re not very good at them,’ you said, looking at her before you looked at your crush again, ‘In fact, Shinichiro made me really happy with his confession,’ it wasn’t a lie, not really. Even if you were stressed about it, it did feel good that someone chose you like that, ‘He even brought me my favorite animal,’ you squeezed the plushie to your chest, soaking some comfort from it before you smiled and looked at the dark-haired boy by your side who was still holding onto your shoulder.

He could have ratted you out now or accidentally revealed you surprised him, but instead, he just looked at you. His gaze wasn’t soft or surprised, but curious and maybe a hint of playful now that sort of forced you to continue, ‘It’s a beautiful thing when someone offers you their heart. Especially if they’re as amazing as Shinichiro. I just got a bit emotional by it.’

You said and shrugged your shoulders, sparing a single glance at the two noticing how some of the previous smugness wasn’t on their faces anymore.

You turned back at Sano, who turned to look at you as well, now grinning, ‘I don’t mind. You’re pretty even when you cry,’ then while still keeping his hand on your shoulder, his other one reached over and brushed your cheek and some lost tears away, ‘But don’t do it too often. Happy tears or not, I prefer you more when you’re smiling.’

Your mouth shut closed, and you were sure you were red again from how hot your face felt.

The touch was too relaxed, gentle, and familiar for your liking, but you found it easy not to flinch and give up the ruse.

Sano then pulled you closer to his side and looked at the two before you, ‘Later.’

Just like that, he took you with him away without a second glance, wave, or polite wish for a nice day. You heard the girl call after you, but luckily it was after you were a bit away, and Sano’s shoulder blocked the words.

You were a bit out of it all, which was probably why you failed to notice when you appeared in front of Sano’s bike.

‘Here,’ he said and handed you a helmet.

‘What? No way, I can’t ride with you!’ you said, a bit too panicked.

His dark eyes danced across your face momentarily before he asked, ‘Why not?’

You were sure your face spoke loud and clear about your reservations regarding the bike.

‘It’ll be fine,’ he said with a certain ease that would cause you to be annoyed, except his dark eyes looked incredibly grounding with their strange confidence, ‘I took my little brother with me before, and it was fine. He’s eight,’ he grinned when he said that, and you bit your lip to stop it from smiling. You had no business doing that when you were lured into a death trap like this. Come on,’ he assured you and raised his hand with the helmet for you to take once more.

You eyed the thing reluctantly before you looked into his eyes again. There were traces of amusement like he could tell he would convince you. Still, they also had rock-solid confidence as if he knew he would keep you safe when you decided to accept, ‘You can trust me.’

You were still afraid, but it was true, he just supported your little lie back there, so it wasn’t too much of a hassle to have some faith in his riding skills. Not to mention he saved your life the other day.

Your teeth let go of your lip as you very hesitantly said, ‘Promise not to go too fast.’

The boyish grin he shot you was almost worthy of your fears and anxiety over the ride. Almost. It was a pretty grin, but you would like to think you were better than to let something like that get to you so quickly.

‘I promise.’

He tossed that word around so quickly, yet you couldn’t help yourself and believe him. It made you wonder if he didn’t become a gang leader just by smiling at people and promising them stuff. Even you could see the appeal, and you hardly knew the boy and had just had your heart sort of broken by a crush, who hopefully would never know you liked him.

You felt the pressure inside your throat and heaviness inside your eyes once again. Still, you refused to have Sano, a victim of another waterfall of tears for someone who was so rude to him.

You pushed away the warmth from your chest and took the helmet, switching it for your plushie.

Sano gave you a moment before he motioned for you to come closer and helped you secure the helmet responsibly and carefully.

You watched his face so close all the way he worked, wondering how he could look so relaxed, almost carefree yet caring, before you mumbled, ‘Thank you.’

He just grinned at you and knocked his knuckles against the helmet, ‘Don’t worry about it.’

You told him to drop you off at the end of your street to avoid meeting your family, that would surely freak out if they found you riding back with a known delinquent on top of it. You didn’t think it would matter how serious you would be about Sano being a good person.

Once you sat behind him, he glanced back at you, and you could see the slight frown on his face, ‘You need to come closer. I don’t want you to accidentally fall off.’

As if he wanted to demonstrate to you that it could have been an issue, the bike jolted, sending you stumbling against his back, pressing into his body for the third time since you spoke with him less than a week ago.

The experience made you both regret you ever agreed to the ride and throw your arms around his middle.

If anyone saw us now, they would surely think, I’m some desperate lovesick girlfriend, you thought to yourself, realizing you never properly discussed what happened with your crush and that girl. Oddly, you felt relieved as you didn’t wish to dive into all of that just yet.

You heard his easy-going laughter and then felt his hands on your wrist, pealing them a bit from him, ‘Careful, or instead of holding onto me, you’ll spoon me.’

Your face is hot as you let out a tight and embarrassed, ‘Shut up.’

He tried to look at you, but with your red cheeks and crippling fear, you were nowhere near a state you could look back at him.

Sano seemed to accept that, as in the next moment, he started the bike and finally took you guys away.

After a few minutes, the sensation of air against your body and movement got bearable, even enjoyable, if it wasn’t for the fact that your doubts and insecurities caught onto you, repeatedly replying to what happened back in the school. You felt like such an idiot. That girl knew you liked that boy, and she might even know you liked him for a while, and she thoroughly used it against you to make you suffer. You were beyond the point of believing she actually liked him and just so happened to be confessing to him in a place she would know you would see them. You knew her better than that, even if everyone assumed nothing but the best from her.

I wonder what did I ever do to her for her to hate me so much to do those things, you thought to yourself, and before you knew it, you realized you tightened your hold on Sano.

You expected him to loosen it once more, but instead, for a brief moment that he was waiting for a green light, his hand brushed your wrist, and you heard him say, ‘I got you, y/n-chan.’

Having his back to him and knowing he couldn’t see you, it felt all too easy and right to lean forward and press the top of your helmet against his back below his neck. It felt comforting. Something you would never have guessed the leader of the Black Dragon could make you feel, but he did.

You snuggled closer to him with the excuse that you didn’t want to fall down from the bike at that speed. Still, you would be lying if you didn’t admit that when Sano stopped at the corner you instructed him to, you felt slightly disappointed that it was all over.

‘Thanks for the ride,’ you said and returned his spare helmet to him.

When Sano reached for it, his palms pressed against yours, and you noticed his relaxed expression was gone. Instead, he looked rather grave, saying, ‘You shouldn’t cry for those people. They don’t deserve a single one of your tears, and you already gave them plenty.’

You wanted to check if you didn’t start to cry again, feeling a bit like an idiot, but Sano’s hands kept on holding onto yours on his helmet, ‘Yeah?’

Your eyes blinked, hypnotized a bit by his pretty dark ones that looked so convincing it did something to your insides, making it hard to focus on anything else.

Weird, you thought to yourself trying to brush it all as you were emotional about everything that happened today.

You cleared your throat, trying to appear normal and not like a lunatic, ‘O-okay.’

He finally took the helmet just as right about the last person you wished to see you called out your name. Your family was alright in general. Much better than when you were a kid, but you still couldn’t help but often feel like an outsider who kept most of her struggles to herself. You just couldn’t bring yourself confine in them as quickly as you knew other people could.

When you heard your name being called by one of your family members, you knew it would be troublesome if they saw you with someone like Sano.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew your worst fears came to life when you found yourself sitting beside Sano at your kitchen table. At the same time, your family questioned the two of you about everything and anything.

What a nosy bunch, you thought to yourself, irritated over how rude some of the questions were. 

You weren’t even sure how it happened. One moment you and Sano were about to part ways, and the next, your relative dragged the boy into your home, yelling, ‘Y/n brought home her boyfriend!’ They made it sound as if you brought home a winning lottery ticket for some reason. 

Luckily, Sano didn’t seem to take any offense either at being forced to dinner or the rude question. He quickly joked and even made fun of himself, keeping the mood somewhat positive and pleasant for everyone.

‘Ah, well, that’s nice. This one sure worked hard on making that chocolate for you.’

It got on your nerve relatively fast how lovesick they made it out to appear when the reality was somewhere entirely else about the whole Valentin’s chocolate. But you held it back, quietly playing with your food instead. Your family meant well, but it often felt you were the odd one to their loud and cheerful personas. You were simply different.

‘I’m glad. It was delicious,’ said Sano, ‘I got her a plushie, but it almost doesn’t feel like it’s enough.’

‘Oh, that cute thing. It’s so nice you knew her favorite animal.’

‘I still can’t believe those girls remember that,’ you mumbled mostly to yourself since it seemed no one at the table was really paying attention to you. 

True, once upon a time, you were friends with the girls, who were now soulless followers, but even back then, it felt like they ignored what you had to say.

‘No,’ blurted Sano, and you looked at him for the first time since this annoying dinner started, ‘I saw the keychain on your school bag the other day and figured you had to like it enough to carry it around.’

He offered you a boyish grin, and you couldn’t help but stare at him before you returned to your food, puzzled. It shocked you that when he was saving you on the street, he had time to notice that keychain you bought your first year in high school. He wanted to give you something special you would like instead of just some sweets. It seemed like a lot an effort to put in for someone you didn’t even consider girlfriend material before. You doubted Sano thought about you all that much until the day he saved you, and he confessed you weren’t on his radar when he was asking his classmates and some girls in his school out, so the plushie meant a lot. 

Then again, it also seemed like a lot an effort to make chocolate for some delinquent who helped you out once.

You glanced at him again when he fell into another series of twenty questions with your family, and you couldn’t help but feel happy about his presence this close to you.

Weird, you told yourself not for the first time that day and finished your food.

Your good mood didn’t last, as someone pointed out that Sano would have a lot of work to try to figure out what you were thinking because of how quiet you were.

‘I’m not quiet, just selective about people I talk with,’ you clarified, helping pick up the dishes. Still, for the first time, you were excused and told to show Sano your room and toy collection, which spiked your blood pressure because they were not toys, even if they were stuffed animals. It showed just how worried your family must have been about you staying forever alone if they were this desperate to get you a boyfriend. They didn’t mind a boy coming into your room one bit.

‘I’m glad you thought I was worthy,’ said Sano, and you rolled your eyes before he continued with a smirk, ‘It makes me feel even more special when you talk to me.’

You paused on your way to your room, realizing what he was talking about, and shrugged your shoulders, ‘You’re alright.’

He continued grinning as if you told him the highest praise before you finally showed him your room. It perfectly represented you and your interests down to your favorite animal collection.

You settled your new addition between the old ones and spoke, ‘I’m still surprised you noticed that keychain the other day on the street. Everything happened so fast.’

Sano, who was busy analyzing the items on your desk, hardly looked at you, ‘Nah, I saw it on your bag all the time in school.’

It was strange to think he noticed you before he helped you.

Before everything that happened.

You noticed him too, but he was a gang leader member, so that was a given.

He didn’t stay long, for which you were eternally grateful as you weren’t sure how much weirdness you could handle for one day, and you didn’t even start on your homework.

As you wished him goodbye by his bike, he tossed you another one of his boyish grins that made his face very handsome, ‘I’ll come to pick you up tomorrow morning too, alright? I already promised,’ he nodded at your house, where your family sort of bullied him into picking you up for school, so you wouldn’t have to wake up as early as you did.

‘You don’t have to do that. They were just being obnoxious,’ you assured him, but he shook his head, ‘It’s fine. I don’t mind.’

Your eyes moved away because it felt a tiny bit uncomfortable to see him look at you so calmly before you noticed he didn’t put on his helmet, ‘Aren’t you going to put it on?’

‘No, it’ll ruin my hair,’ he said, putting his hands up as if showing his hair to some imaginary audience. His hairstyle was a bit funny, but it suited him. Still, you couldn’t help yourself but comment, ‘A helmet is a part of your bike for a reason. Are you going home or to meet someone?’

‘Why?’

‘Well, if you don’t have any gang duties or are going to meet friends, then it doesn’t really matter if you mess up your hair,’ you said before you shrugged your shoulders and sighed in defeat, ‘Wear your helmet, Sano-san. Please,’ you said and looked away, feeling the heat rising into your cheeks over your request. He could do whatever he wanted. You just wished he would do it safely.

‘How about we make a deal?’ he asked, and you forced your eyes back to his face.

He was grinning, and his dark eyes shone with amusement, ‘You’ll call me Shinichiro again, and I’ll wear my helmet when I’m on my way home.’

You opened your mouth, recalling how you used his first name so carelessly when lying to those two at school. 

The fact that his face looked so happy now did something to you, but you didn’t allow the warm sensation to make you weak, ‘How about I call you Shin-kun, and you wear your helmet all the time?’

‘You drive a hard bargain, y/n-chan,’ he said, but he looked nothing but satisfied, ‘Fine, I’ll bite.’

He put the helmet over his pompadour, obviously ruining it, ‘Let’s give it a try.’

You nodded and stepped closer, knocking your knuckles against the helmet on top of his head before you offered him a small smile, ‘Thank you, Shin-kun.’

You hoped he could tell you meant more than just the helmet, and based on the softness that entered his dark eyes, you knew he did.

You stepped away and waved at him before he disappeared from your side, realizing it was the third time you watched him leave you, but for the first time, you weren’t annoyed.

You returned to your home and dodged the family’s attempts to tease you about saying goodbye to your boyfriend until you got to the security of your room, where you realized something.

We didn’t really talk about the whole pretend boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Everything happened so fast, and you could tell Sano-Shin didn’t want to cause you more anguish by talking about what happened in school. Your family just assumed he had to be a boyfriend since you made him chocolate, and he brought you home with a plushie. You attempted to say it wasn’t like that. Still, they just thought you were being secretive and shy as usual, so after the first failed try, you let them believe whatever they wanted.

It’s unreal, so I’m sure it won’t be a big deal, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t have been more wrong if you wanted to.

Shin followed his promise and came to pick you up, much to your family’s delight.

Oddly, you were glad to see him. You wouldn’t say you were a total loner, but you knew you lacked severely in the friends’ department. You used to think you had a lot of friends, but with time you realized it didn’t make you friends just because someone was polite or even friendly with someone.

You figured that the fact that you felt cozy inside when you saw the boy waiting for you by his bike was probably because it was a while since someone wanted your company for more than a moment.

The ride was less scary for you than the first one, and you even found yourself smiling a lot at the fact that Shin brought a spare helmet for you.

When he got you to school, you patiently waited for him to style his hair, giving him occasional pointers. You had the time since the boy showed up with some time to spare, ‘Here, let me.’

You did your best not to touch him anywhere but his hair. You combed and styled it as best as possible before stepping away from him, noticing how red his cheeks and face looked.

You bit the inside of your mouth to hide your own smile and embarrassment while Shin stated it was good and you could go.

When you entered the school with Shin by your side, you immediately felt everyone’s eyes on you. It was more than a bit unnerving, and when their looks got replaced with whispers, your heart sank at some of the rude things the students said like I bet he’s paying her, or I didn’t think she was so easy.

That last one earned the boy a sucker punch so fast, you didn’t even catch it until he was on the ground with Shin standing above him, ‘Don’t ever say that again.’

His voice was surreally icy, unlike anything he had used around you until now. Even when he was pissed at the driver who almost hit you or your ex-crush, he still remained human. This made him sound appropriately dangerous.

You didn’t bother sparing the boy on the ground another look, and instead, you found yourself taking hold of Shin’s arm, trying not to blush too hard about it all, ‘Let’s go. He’s not worth it.’

‘You’re right,’ he said, and only when he looked at you did you see his tense and dangerous vibe fade a bit.

However, he didn’t leave and instead called out, ‘Listen up! If I ever hear anyone of you say stuff like that again, you’re going to regret it.’

You felt a shiver rush through your body, and you tried to distract yourself by pulling Shin with you further into the building, ‘Let’s just go, please.’

You didn’t say it out loud, but it meant a lot to you that Shin stood up for you like that. You realized yesterday he was much better than people thought about him. You included. Initially, at least. 

Before you split up, he patted your shoulder with a grin as his previous dangerous vibe was utterly gone, ‘Wait for me after school, yeah?’

You couldn’t hardly keep the smile on your face when you nodded. 

It felt good to have someone in your corner again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since then, it seemed whoever was talking about you did so in secret because you could still feel gazes on you at times, but no one dared to be loud and rude to you anymore.

Well, at least I don’t have to hear what they think of me; you told yourself. You were used to being ignored or shit-talked like this by the followers and that mean girl, so it wasn’t all that different. Plus, you would be lying if you didn’t find some amusement in the fact that whenever you lifted your eyes to glance at someone who mentioned your name, their face went pale. Their eyes widened in fear that you would rat them out to Shin. 

Shin and his gang could make some money by protecting bullied middle and high schoolers. It couldn’t be the worst gig. 

You felt good about things for several days until you went to the restroom. As it seemed you and Shin stumbled upon a specific routine with him giving you rides, there wasn’t anything different about that day. You spoke with some friendly classmates. You could feel just how eager they were to ask you about everything that happened with Shin, but they didn’t, so you didn’t bother bringing it up. It didn’t seem like their business anyway.

So far, neither of you mentioned you weren’t an actual couple. Simply letting people talk whatever they wanted, given how much praise you noticed Shin got from some of his male classmates and friends the first day, you wondered if it maybe improved his status or something if people thought he finally landed a girlfriend.

It felt strangely rude to say you weren’t together for some reason, and since no one asked you directly, you figured you would just let them think whatever they wanted to. 

The moment you heard the door to the restroom open while you were still in the stall, you knew you would be in trouble.

Afterward, as you sat on the closed toilet long after the last class was over, you debated how long it would take for someone to find you. You figured that girl and her followers must have told every other girl not to use this restroom, and it seemed no matter how loudly you called for help, no one could hear you.

As mean as it was, it was primarily annoying to be left stranded in a locked stall. You were just grateful those girls weren’t childish enough to try and get you wet like they once did in middle school. It could have been a lot worse, but you doubted it would do you any good to be left inside the restroom all night. Indeed, if you didn’t come home, your family would notice, but who was to say they would realize something must have happened in school and not on your way home?

Hopefully, they won’t think Shin did anything to you, you wondered to yourself.

When the door opened, you were conflicted if you should scream or not since it could have been one of those girls returning to do something worse to you.

‘Y/N-chan?’ called out Shin’s distinguished voice, and you breathed a sigh of absolute relief, feeling your eyes tear up for the first time since you realized those girls locked you inside the stall, ‘I’m here.’

You immediately heard a loud hit that shook the stall a bit and then found the door could finally be opened to reveal the dark-haired boy, ‘Are you alright? One of my captain’s girls came to say-Hey, hey, are you hurt?’

You shook your head and covered your face, unable to stop yourself from crying. You were surprised that when you saw him, you felt so pathetic and grateful all at once, and given that you were really stressed out and scared about what would happen to you, it just all came crashing down. 

‘I-I…shit,’ suddenly you felt Shin take hold of your arm, and in the next moment, you were pressed against his solid and warm body while his hand kept a grip on the back of your head, ‘I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, but I’m here now, and you’re alright, okay?’

You couldn’t speak as all that came out were sobs and hiccups revealing your anguish, so for now, you simply nodded against him, hoping your tears weren’t soaking his clothes too much. A part of you felt awful letting out all those thoughts and feelings you spend the last hour or so trying to contain. Still, a more significant portion of you felt nothing but relief and gratitude for the dark-haired boy.

Shin kept you in his arms for a really long time, and you would happily remain there even longer. Still, you felt it was time to let go as the embarrassment from what you were doing caught onto your weak heart, ‘Thank you.’

You stepped back, and he let you, but his hand merely moved from your back to your arm, ‘Are you alright?’

You nodded without meeting his eyes.

He kept on looking at you while you refused to look back at him until he sighed and spoke, ‘So girls, huh? Who would have thought?’

You finally look at his face only to shoot him a look, ‘Only a boy wouldn’t know what they could do. Besides, this was nothing.’

His face was grave; you could tell by how he narrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t like your words, ‘So this happened before?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘This and other things. I shouldn’t have gone to the restroom alone. It’s my fault.’

He squeezed your shoulder, ‘Be honest. Is it because everyone thinks…well…,’ he didn’t finish, but the slight flush of his cheeks and his voice crack was enough for you to guess what he meant.

We’re together.  

You shook your head. Even if that was the case, you wouldn’t want to hurt Shin like that. Not when he was the only one who helped you so much and did so many little and small things for you. And it was barely days when you started talking to him, ‘No, they didn’t like me since middle school. I don’t know why.’

He was silent for a moment before he surprised you with the confident look that took over his face. One that spoke of authority and seriousness.

‘This won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.’

You didn’t have any heat inside you to argue or tell him he couldn’t really help you. He might have been a gang leader, but you doubted he had the guts or ruthlessness to threaten or hurt a girl. Even if a small sinister and exhausted from all of these mind games, part of you wished he would.

He took you home and told you he would also pick you up the next day. You barely acknowledged that and simply wished him a safe trip before you went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Shin could tell you were over what happened and didn’t wish to bring it up, so he dropped it and instead talked to you about some unknown facts he learned about the animals in your collections.

You figured he was trying to cheer you up, so you let him reward him by asking him a few things about bikes that you quickly found was his endless pit of knowledge. You would be lying if you said you were all that interested in the subject, but something about the way Shin’s eyes seemed to shine with life and passion when he spoke got under your skin and made it impossible not to crave to see it more.

That girl and her followers must have found another victim because they largely ignored you for a while.

However, little by little, you notice some odd occurrences happening around you.

It started when one day after Shin dropped you off but decided to skip, you found two of your classmates furiously cleaning your desk.

When they saw they were caught, they bowed to you and quickly explained, ‘Someone spilled something, y/l/n-san.’

‘But we managed to clean it almost all up.’

You gratefully thanked them, confused by their generosity since, apart from school stuff, they never bothered to speak with you.

A little after that, you found your shoe locker opened, but apart from your shoes, there was nothing there, and even if that seemed silly, you thought one of the 2nd year boys was standing guard over it.

A week later, you watched as your classmates pushed one of those girls that was a follower out of your classroom. She shot you a nasty look as she was passing you by, but she didn’t say anything, and when you came into the room, you found two other classmates, all boys picking up your things off the floor.

They didn’t tell you anything, and you were too confused to say anything either, so you just helped them with the rest of your stuff onto your desk and allowed them to return to their seats.

Then came the day you felt brave enough to go to the restroom again. It was empty, so you tried to be as quick as possible, and just as you were about to leave, you heard someone yell outside.

Reluctantly, you exited, hoping you weren’t about to get jumped or something, only to find five boys, only one from your class, with their backs toward the restroom, keeping any of the girls outside from entering by the looks of it.

‘What’s going on?’ you finally found the guts to ask while the girls were allowed to enter, only for one of the boys to hesitantly admit, ‘The Black Dragon issued a warning that if anything happened to you around the school, they would come after every guy who didn’t protect you.’

You were left speechless.

That’s a joke, right?

With the bit of spare time you had left, you went to seek out Shin. Until now, you only ever saw him on your way to and from school. He was surprisingly punctual, only sometimes coming late in the morning, but with the excuse that he couldn’t get his younger brother, Mikey, out of bed fast enough.

‘Did you…,’ you started unsure how to form your question feeling strangely tender inside over what that student revealed to you.

Shin was looking at you; all the while, his other classmates silently kept their distance as if they knew better than to try and eavesdrop, ‘Did you tell your gang to threaten guys into protecting me?’

He raised his hand, touching the top of the doorway, looking as relaxed as he always had with his dark eyes softening at your sight, ‘I gave you my word I wouldn’t let anything like that happen to you ever again. I would be a shitty leader if I didn’t stick to it,’ he grinned.

You watched him feeling your face warming up. Everything from his words to his leisure posture to what he did to ensure you didn’t have to fear your bullies caused you to feel beyond happy to have him in your life and like you didn’t deserve him at all.

Your heart speeded up, and the unfamiliar urge to reach out and touch him, somehow, anywhere, just so that you would be connected arose, confusing you. You never had a need like this before.

‘You’re too kind,’ you found yourself saying, knowing your cheeks must have been flushed, ‘Are you sure you’re a delinquent?’ you asked instead of any soft and cheesy words that came into your mind.

He hummed, his dark eyes never leaving yours, ‘Well, hopefully, none of those guys will slip up, so I won’t have to show you just how much of a delinquent I can be.’

You had to cover the side of your face and look away because you felt far too warm and fluffy inside over his words for some reason.

It’s that stupid voice, for sure. 

‘What do you like to eat?’ you asked him, and he blinked at you, puzzled by the question, ‘What?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’ll make you something. You…you really did a lot for me.’

When he grinned at you, you felt your heart speed up even more and wondered how long an appropriate time was to forget about one crush and gain another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t really plan to discuss what happened to you in middle school or how being on your own in high school affected you. But with Shin and the hours you spent in one another’s company when you learned more and more about his life, they just sort of came out. 

‘You must really hate her that she even took your crush from you,’ he said as he stopped eating the food you got him. You didn’t always make him something, but whenever you agreed upon it up front, you did, and occasionally, you even tossed some sweets for him and his siblings or captains.

You thought about it, ‘I hated that she made me cry and got under my skin, but…I sometimes see them in class, and I don’t really care,’ you admitted, ‘It was just a crush anyway, and I’m kind of grateful I never confessed.’

‘Yeah?’ he asked and had a strange look behind his dark eyes, ‘What if he would accept?’

‘I wouldn’t get to know you,’ you said before you could stop yourself and quickly turned away, ‘You know, since what boyfriend would like his girlfriend to hang with a gang leader and all and – and I would never have gotten those girls off my back so-’

Shin tossed his head back and laughed. 

You would have given him a piece of your mind, but you were too hypnotized by how beautiful he looked at that moment sitting in the school’s room, looking so happy and carefree.

‘I get it, y/n,’ he said and started eating again, smiling with a look that made you want to toss your arms around him and pull him closer.

Your cheeks were on fire again, but even if just a tiny bit, so were his, ‘I’m sort of glad none of those girls I liked ever accepted my confession either. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.’

Your heart pounded so hard that even people outside the roof had to hear it.

You wished all so desperately to be braver at that moment than you were and reach out to touch him somehow but found it impossible to do so even when he got you to feel all mellow inside like this. 

Back in middle school, when you were forced to postpone your confession to your crush, you merely told yourself you would do it later. It wasn’t really a promise back then, not even a proper note for the future. It was more like an empty thought. One that wouldn’t cause you too much anguish if you never followed through with it because how could it? 

Now, however, looking at Shin, the most beautiful and unique boy, you have ever met, you refuse to let it stay just a thought and idea for the future. 

No, now, you would make it a promise. Something you couldn’t cower over forever. Something you would most definitely follow through with because how could you not?

Soon, you promised yourself in silence before offering him a kind smile feeling your entire heart agreed with you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes after you started to hang out more in school too, you found yourself in an unfortunate situation with some members of his gang. It was an unlucky coincidence, really.

You were alone in the grocery store when two tall and intimidating-looking gang members caught you and tried to steal your wallet. Until then, you only ever saw the members of the infamous Black Dragons around the neighborhood, but with the exception of Shin, you never spoke to any of them. 

You held your breath, dreading what they would do with you and hoping they would just take your money and leave when one of them pulled open your wallet.

His eyes doubled in size, and he started to stutter, ‘Y-y-y-our n-name is-is-’

You became less fearful, and it seemed his partner was just as confused as you before he snatched your wallet from the boy and started to panic, too, ‘Y/L/N… that’s your name? OH NO!’

Suddenly both boys were on their knees, bowing to you and begging you for mercy, ‘PLEASE, DON’T TELL THE KING ABOUT THIS!’

‘HE’LL KILL US!’

‘HE’LL TELL HIS CAPTAINS TO KILL US!’

‘WE DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOU!’

‘BUT NOT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT YOU!’ 

‘HE DOES!’ 

‘ALL THE TIME!’ 

‘WE’RE SORRY!’ 

‘WE’RE STUPID!’

You didn’t even have time to say anything before they returned your wallet, snatched your bags, and told you they would walk them home for you.

You told yourself you wouldn’t say anything about them but then decided you would feel sort of shitty if you knew something like this could happen to anyone else.

So far, you didn’t have a reason to use the phone number you got from Shin, but you supposed today’s misadventure was a good enough reason.

‘Moshi, moshi,’ greeted a child on the other end, and for a moment, you were unsure what to do until you heard a slight groan, ‘Not funny, you pedo-’

‘Wait!’ you called out, startled, ‘Sorry, is… Shin there?’

‘Who’s asking?’

You opened and closed your mouth. Throughout the last couple of weeks, the two of you never discussed the fact that everyone around the school assumed you two were a couple. It wasn’t like anyone else brought it up, so you two just sort of carried on getting to know each other and became close. You would consider yourself friends, but the truth was you knew you were crushing on him a lot by now. Not to mention, he did try to confess to you after Valentine’s Day. It was, overall, a strange situation, and you were too shy and awkward to bring it up.

‘Well?’ demanded the child, and you cleared your throat, trying not to blush too hard, ‘Just tell him y/n is calling.’

‘His girlfriend? Huh, so you’re real? Though he made you up,’ he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his bored tone.

‘Hey,’ he said with much more amusement, ‘Say, how come you decided to date someone as weak and stupid as my brother?’

You grimaced, recalling some stories about Shin’s younger brother, Mikey, that now made a lot more sense when you heard how he spoke about his older brother. ‘Well, I can’t speak much about his strength. I only saw him punch one guy for me,’ you admitted.

‘Oh yeah?’ asked Mikey almost gleefully.

‘Yeah,’ you nodded even if the kid couldn’t hear you, ‘Uh, he said something untrue and horrible about me, and Shin really let him have it. He ended up on the ground with a busted lip.’

Mikey chuckled, ‘Nice. But that guy had to be pretty weak. My brother isn’t a good fighter.’

‘I wasn’t able to tell,’ you said, wondering if he wasn’t a good fighter, how could he have become the leader of Black Dragon before you carried on, ‘And he isn’t stupid, just lazy. I corrected some of his homework, and if he invested more time into it, he would be fine.’

‘Grandpa always calls him a slacker too,’ agreed Mikey, and you smiled to yourself, thinking about Shin, unable to stop, ‘To be completely honest. I find your older brother a pretty great and good person. He helped me out so much, and that was even before he properly got to know me. But even before we became…uh, close, I felt he wasn’t all that bad. I can also tell he cares about all of you a lot because he always smiles when he talks about you guys.’

You heard someone say something to Mikey.

‘Alright, I’ll give you my brother now. Come around. I’ll show you how a really strong person fights.’

You grinned upon hearing that, ‘Alright. Bye, Mikey-chan.’

Just before Shin came to the phone, you heard the kid tell him loudly, ‘Your girlfriend is already cooler than you. You better beg her not to break up with you.’

‘Don’t be jealous, Mikey. If you ask me nicely, I’ll tell you all about my sweet moves to get a cool girl like that.’

You giggled a bit as you heard Shin’s voice, ‘Sorry about that. My brother can be a little shit.’

‘It’s alright. He’s funny. I’m curious about what sweet moves you want to show him. Getting rejected twenty times and stuttering through a confession?’ you realized too late you might have opened the door to the discussion you never really had before you heard him let out a fake whine, ‘So cruel, y/n-chan.’

You smiled and closed your eyes in relief before speaking again, ‘Listen, I won’t tell you who it was, and I don’t really want you to punish them, but I think you should know two of your members tried to rob me today?’

‘WHAT?!’

‘Nothing happened. They found my student card and realized who I was. They apologized and even swore they would never do that again, and I know it isn’t my business, and I don’t want to.’

‘Are you hurt?’

You frowned, confused, ‘What? No, you’re not listening.’

‘Are. You. Hurt?’ Shin asked again, this time far firmer, almost like he was angry.

You sighed, wishing you didn’t say anything now, ‘No.’

‘I’m coming over.’

‘It’s late,’ you said and glanced out of the window, looking at the dark sky.

‘I’m still coming over,’ he said seriously before he eased his tone a bit, ‘Can I?’

It could have been troublesome, but you didn’t have it in you to tell him no when he sounded like that, so you nodded, ‘Alright, we can talk for a bit outside the house, okay?’

Shin showed up less than twenty minutes later, obviously going far too fast.

Once he got off his bike carelessly, almost letting it fall to the ground, he was by your side in a second, putting his palms on your face, his dark eyes filled with concern and seriousness, trying to see if you were hurt before he lowered his gaze to the rest of your body, ‘I told you I’m not hurt.’

‘You also said you weren’t bullied before, remember?’ he asked, and you bit your lip because it was true, and you didn’t like to be reminded of it.

Once he genuinely deemed you unharmed, he let you go and stepped back with a loud sigh, ‘I’m sorry. Sometimes these things get out of hand. I was worried they were rough with you.’

You shook your head, your annoyance fading as you could see just how worried he was and why he was acting this way. You explained what happened again and simply asked him if he could tell his gang not to drag girls into dark alleys.

How bizarre that I get to ask that of a known gang leader.

Shin nodded, ‘I’ll ensure they won’t ever do that.’

You smiled, knowing all too well that when Shin said something like that, he meant it.

He then sighed and brushed his hair, which you only then realized wasn’t styled but sort of effortlessly messy in a good way.

‘Your hair looks nice today,’ you said before you could stop yourself and then covered half of your face before you looked away, ‘Sorry.’

He chuckled, and you could tell a lot of stress fell off his shoulders before he stepped closer to you and brushed it again more aggressively, ‘You think so? Want to touch it?’

You were embarrassed, but at the same time, you felt tempted to make him too.

You reached out and ran your fingers through his obviously not that long ago washed hair. It wasn’t the first time you touched it, but it felt nicer tonight than when it was soaking with hair gel, ‘I like it.’

Your eyes met his half expecting more teasing or to find him blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, but instead, you saw him with a rather gloomy look.

‘What’s the matter? I like your pompadour style too,’ you assured him quickly, worried you offended his most beloved look, but he shook his head, ‘It’s not that. It’s…my mom is sick.’

Before he said it, you figured out that he only ever spoke about his grandfather as the sole adult around the house. You knew she was still alive since he mentioned his father had passed away five years ago. Still, his mother was a bit of a mystery until your own family discussed Sano’s one evening, mentioning something about her being in a hospital for a long time now.

‘It’s why I freaked out so much,’ he explained, ‘She’s not getting better, and if you…,’ he didn’t answer, just shook his head, but you didn’t need him to anyway.

Looking at him was heartbreaking. All the more because he already did so much for you, and here you were, powerless and useless to do the same.

Without anything else to offer, you offered yourself as you put your arms around his neck and pulled his body to yours. You couldn’t recall the last time or ever if you ever hugged someone who wasn’t your family. But with the way Shin practically sank into your embrace, almost crushing you with how tightly he was holding onto you, trying to get you even closer to him, you were sure you were doing a good job.

‘Shin,’ you said finally and felt him hum before he pulled away enough to look at your face.

You offered him a small smile, ‘You should introduce me to your captains. So, they know who to look out for.’

‘Yeah?’ asked the boy, his smile returning.

Given how much on fire your face felt, you had no illusion about how red it must have looked, but even so, you two didn’t let go of each other. 

You nodded and decided to at least somehow hide your face by pulling him closer again, and he did the same.

The incredible feeling of warmth and safety inside your weak belly was almost enough to make up for the merciless teasing you had to endure from your family after you got back into the house. 

Almost 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin introduced you to his captains a week later on a day you didn’t have school. He started to skip more and more classes. Still, he always made a point to give you rides and occasionally even come back for lunches, if only to spend them in your presence. 

Meeting gang members should have been terrifying, and some of you wondered if you should invest some money into a paper spray. Still, once they all gave you a very formal bow that made you feel like you were in some royal in a historical drama, they seemed to decide on a much friendlier approach looking at you like you were a new animal in the zoo. 

‘Ah, she’s pretty, Shin-chan,’ said one with strangely alluring hair of three colors, ‘You’re going to have cute babies.’

‘Oi!’ warned him, Shin, and the only reason you didn’t die of embarrassment was that Shin was blushing just as hard as you. 

‘Seriously, are you blackmailing this poor girl, Shin?’ asked another one stepping closer to you with a far less friendly smile than the others.

Before Shin could answer, you took hold of his hand and asked, ‘And where’s your girlfriend?’

It earned you a few chuckles, and the captain, who asked for some teasing from his comrades, but Shin grinned at you and pulled your closer, looking really impressed.

He kept you close to him since that. Being in the sea of boys in dark Black Dragons uniforms, you didn’t mind it all that much, preferring that you could count on his hand on your arm or your own on his for comfort when things felt too overwhelming. 

‘They liked you,’ he said as he dropped you home later than usual that day, looking like he wouldn’t mind if the two of you could spend even more time together. 

You felt the same. 

‘I like them too,’ you admitted, ‘Some more than others.’

He grinned before an almost shy look took over his face, and his dark eyes glanced somewhere into the distance, ‘I hope you don’t plan to like them…more than me.’

You opened and closed your mouth. Right there at the tip of your tongue was, ‘I don’t think I ever liked anyone as much as I like you,’ but you just couldn’t force it out. 

It seemed the moment carried and was threatening to become awkward, which you would hate so much because of how good it felt to be with Shin. 

Unsure if you would ruin it or not, you acted before thinking and pressed your lips in a quick motion against his cheek, feeling just how heated and soft his skin was from an entire day under the sun outside. 

Even if you would probably die out of mortification if someone ever found out, you felt crossed with yourself later on that you didn’t aim closer to his mouth. 

You didn’t dare to see his reaction and just let a high-pitched bye before running to your house, grateful none of your family saw that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither of you mentioned your little stunt afterward, and things returned to their routine. The anxious coward part of you was grateful since you would hate to mess something up when having Shin in your life brought you so much joy. But there was a every day getting, stronger part that still craved for more. 

Almost as if that girl recognized you were dealing with something in your new relationship, she started talking at you. She couldn’t speak to you since you found the new willpower to ignore her despite how rude it made you seem. That being said, you often heard her fake sweet voice carry around the hallways after you. 

‘You know, y/n-chan. Being with Sano-san isn’t really good for you if you act like this,’ she said during one of those days that Shin skipped school, forcing you to eat with some of your friendlier classmates instead. 

‘You might want to think about all that bad behavior rubbing off on you. Your family probably wouldn’t take too kindly to learn that you changed so much,’ said the girl. She wasn’t wrong. Even if you didn’t like it, if your family heard from anyone that you were acting badly, they would indeed believe them and blame you. Even if right now they were over the moon that their weirdo-daughter found herself a boyfriend.

You watched her smug face smiling at you with that fake kind smile feeling nothing but disgust and anger. You hated that she still held power over you to threaten something, in this case, someone you cared for so much. 

‘You know,’ you said while looking at her and some of her followers who came into the classroom, realizing a lot of people were silently listening to you two, ‘I used to wonder why did you hate me so much to bully me so severely-‘

‘Bully, y/n-chan? You must be confused-’

‘But now I couldn’t care less,’ you admitted knowing for a while now it was the truth. Being with Shin and knowing he would look out for you in any way he could bring you a sense of security and power, for lack of better words. You felt strong enough for once against whatever this brat would toss at you. 

She pressed her lips into a new tight smile, obviously upset you spoke to her in such a way. 

‘You’re not a good person,’ you glanced at every single one of the followers who came to your classroom, ‘neither of you are. And honestly, your opinion doesn’t matter to me one bit anymore. In less than a month, we’ll be graduating, and that will be the last time I ever have to see your face or hear that silly laughter of yours,’ you looked away, returning to your lunch box, deciding that you were happy for once in a very long time. You refused to let them take that from you by causing you to stress and worry about things you couldn’t control. So be it if that brat and her followers wanted to talk to your parents. If they wanted to believe her, so be it. You felt enough of an outsider with both of those groups to know you would still choose to have Shin in your life.

You heard her, and some other girls chuckle or snicker, ‘I don’t know what makes you say such things. Perhaps you’re just tired from staying up too late with delinquents, who are up to no good.’ 

You refused to dignify her with an answer knowing she would just turn it around. 

You expected them to giggle some more and leave before you heard one of your classmates say, ‘Hey if you’re done here, you can just leave already.’

The girls were silenced, and everyone, including you, glanced at your classmate, your former crush, ‘This isn’t your classroom. You don’t see us occupying your space with your obnoxious chatters.’

You were surprised, to say the least, since you thought the two were dating, but maybe that wasn’t the same. Not that it matters all that much to you now. 

‘That’s right,’ agreed some other classmates, and you turned to look at him, ‘And stop messing with y/l/n all the time. It’s pathetic.’

Your classmate, who was eating with you, also said, ‘If you’re so jealous, you might want to rethink your attitude.’

‘We all know you 3-B girls are just annoying bullies,’ said someone else before she not so quietly whispered, ‘No wonder Sano would prefer y/l/n. She’s a much better person than her.’

You didn’t really know what to say to all that, and it seemed that girl and her followers didn’t either after being called out like that. 

They left in silence, looking at least a little bit ashamed or maybe sad, but you meant what you said since you couldn’t really be bothered by them and their mind games anymore. 

To show your gratitude to everyone, you thanked everyone, and the lunch went on much calmer.

Later when Shin came to drop you home, you told him what happened, and he offered you a grin and knocked against your helmet, ‘That’s good. But if they still cause you trouble, let me know. I’ll figure something out.’

‘Shin, you can’t beat up girls.’ You knew he wouldn’t do it, and even if some of his gang subordinates would willing to ruffle them up, you didn’t want anyone to get hurt or in trouble because of you. 

‘Of course,’ said Shin sounding almost offended you would think that, ‘But I would fight with their boyfriends and crushes. Maybe older brothers.’

‘All of them, huh?’

‘Yup, every last one if it meant it would protect you,’ he said proudly, and you hid your face against his back and put your arms tightly around his middle, ‘Thank you, Shinichiro.’

You never would have thought you would feel blessed to have a delinquent in your life, but you truly felt that way. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the graduation came and passed, you already met most of Shin’s family. 

You visited his place as once your family let out you and Sano were together, his grandfather demanded you come for dinner too. 

Mikey later blurted out that it was because, like everyone else in the family, they didn’t think you were real, which got Shin to curse at them and then apologize. His family was lovely, and you liked them a lot. You even got a chance to accompany them once to visit Shin’s mother in the hospital. She cried when she said she could tell you were a good person, and she was grateful he had someone like you. She even thanked you, causing you to cry like a baby once you managed to get into the hallway startling the rest of his family. Still, Shin just chuckled and patted your head, explaining you tended to get emotional like that. 

Either way, it wasn’t a big deal for you to come to his home that day, but you made it a big deal by putting on your new summer dress and spending more time on your hair and makeup. You kept it decent, though. Shin was around you long enough to know what sort of a girl you were, so there was no point to start pretending to be someone else. He seemed to have liked you just fine up until now. 

I just hope he’ll continue to like me after this too.

You found him in his room, already familiar with the layout of his home, and allowed to come inside by Emma, who hugged your middle and had you promise to come to listen to some music with her before you would leave. 

‘Hey, I wasn’t expecting you today. I didn’t forget, did I?’ he asked, sitting up from his bed. After graduation and even a little before that, he stopped using hair gel and allowed his hair a messier and wilder hairstyle. You didn’t mind it. He looked handsome all the same.

You shook your head, ‘Don’t worry. I just thought I stop by.’ 

You started university and found a part-time job while Shin went to work full-time. It made the both of you to have less time for one another, but you still made it work. It was good neither of you minded all that much to spend hours with the other while he was busy doing something else. 

‘So what’s up? Do you want to watch a movie?’ he asked and sat on the floor so you could do the same. In your mind, you pretty much planned the whole thing out, but it seemed to actually be here, and seeing the young man was proving to be a hassle. 

‘Er, sure in a bit?’ you agreed hesitantly. 

He grinned and arched his eyebrow, clearly mocking you a bit about your weird behavior. You didn’t blame him. 

Your pulse pounded harder as you forced yourself to move closer, cursing at yourself that you chickened out during graduation when there was noise and other factors that made it all less quiet and awkward. 

Shin’s dark eyes, which you always found so pretty, blinked at you, and much of his amusement faded.

Even if he wasn’t doing anything, you could tell he stilled. 

You moved closer until your knees touched the outside of his leg while he sat cross-legged on the floor. It was hardly the first time you were this close, but it seemed both of you now knew what this was all about. 

You never really addressed the fact that you weren’t a real couple. At first, it was either pointless or seemed rude, but with more time, you grew familiar with the notion. You never openly called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. Still, whenever Shin or you bought the other somewhere, people assumed you didn’t correct them. You were unsure what were Shin’s thoughts on the matter, but you knew pretty early on yours that you didn’t want to correct anyone anymore.  

A sense of woozy headiness filled you when your noses touched. Being close to him wasn’t new. He rode you home and hugged you quite often, making it somewhat easier to think you weren’t just friends. Still, you never brushed your nose against his ever so slightly and felt your breaths mingle like this before. 

You remained like this for a second before you sighed and erased the last couple of pesky inches between you with your lips. You never did this before, so it wasn’t more than a quick and innocent peck. It wasn’t enough to actually know anything about his taste or touch, but it still caused a tiny spark between you too. 

When you opened your eyes, you found his dark ones already on you, ‘Why?’

You swallowed, feeling a shiver running across your body at how breathless he sounded, ‘I-I felt like kissing my boyfriend.’

He blinked, and given how close your faces still were to one another, you felt rather than saw his hand slide up the back and around your neck, ‘Yeah?’ he asked and licked his lips, causing your eyes to stick to his mouth like glue, ‘Well, now I feel like kissing my girlfriend back.’

You sensed his head dipped, and he caused your chin to tilt toward him. 

‘Ok-’

Then his mouth was on yours, and your mind emptied completely. Nothing else existed except for this. The heat, the pleasure, the firm pressure of his lips, and the soft glide of his tongue against yours.

You didn’t know when you raised your hands, only found your fingers sliding into his hair while he tipped your head back further, giving him as much access as he could possibly want. 

He tasted like mint, smoke, and Shin. It was so delicious and indescribable you wanted to drown in it, and you almost did. 

A moan slipped from your mouth to his, and he answered with a tortured groan of his own. 

His hand tightened around your nape in a way that, instead of that sweet and comfortable warmth, made you feel the heat.

Your first kiss should have felt strange or at least a little bit uncomfortable with how little practice you had, but it certainly didn’t feel that way. Instead, it felt completely perfectly right.

You were both breathless when you broke the kiss, and he immediately pulled you into his arms.

You remained like that for a while quietly, with the only sounds coming from your loudly beating hearts, heavy breaths, and some faint sounds from other parts of the house.

Your eyes stayed closed until Shin pulled your face toward his and pressed your foreheads against each other, ‘I’m glad you gave me that chocolate on Valentine’s Day.’

You smiled, ‘I’m glad you didn’t wait until March to return the favor.’

He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against your temple, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Koniec A.N: Thank you for reading. Have a lovely day 😊

When Skies Are Grey (gojo x gn!reader)

summary:

You'll never know dear, how much he loves you. Until he took his sunshine away.

In other words, Gojo is unsealed and you had been declared missing during the culling games. When you rekindle, he noticed how much you've changed since the day he left you. And he's quick to realize that any reconciliation or long-awaited reunion won't mend things back to how they used to be.

CW: Flashbacks, angst, a not-so-happy reunion, canon-compliant, JJK221 spoilers, implied major character death, hurt no comfort, reader is a bit unhinged >> , no happy ending :D

Word count: 4.6k

There’s a reason why Satoru calls you sunshine.

It started off when you walked into the classroom from what felt like a lifetime ago as a first year. Initially, he thought it was your cursed technique, but your presence was radiant enough to blind his already sensitive eyes easily. The sun’s rays were incomparable to what he saw, which were his first thoughts of you.

“Hey, sunshine !” The 14-year-old cleverly bumped his seat next to the other male first-year, who was giving him disapproving side-eye glances. 

They purposely kept a desk distance between them, since they already could not get along outside of class. (Though for some reason, there was a mysterious jacket that lay on the back of the chair.) And now, the greedy, upcoming honored one wanted to pry you away from any potential competition (man-bun and the girl who shouldn’t be smoking cigarettes at her age) Pointing at the wooden seat on his right, Satoru Gojo smugged a Cheshire grin. “Seat’s over here.”

Confused about why he called you sunshine, you walked up to him and quietly grabbed the apparel behind him, politely grinning. “I’d appreciated it if you had asked to take my seat first instead of just sitting down.”

While the two other students laughed at the humiliating interaction, Gojo only focused on your sweet voice and the curl of your lips. It wasn’t until you sat next to Shoko on the other side of the lineup, the boy-wonder realized that he did in fact, steal your desk.

Ironically to him, this was a gloomy start to the day. 

—-

And now many years after that faithful day of him taking your chair, you took his last name. Though you’d like to joke about how it was out of revenge, it was nothing less than a product of blossoming patience, acceptance, and love.

Even though you had formally left the Jujutsu society two years after graduation due to the harsh contempt of the practice and the ironic dangers of drawing your power, you continued to follow Satoru’s life over time. You tied him back into pieces after the whole mayhem of his other half ripping his own heart and trust in shreds. And thanks to you, he realized that his worth does not equate to living a lonesome life. He learned to value his peers, use them for his support, and in turn, reciprocate the same amount of care he received.

And this perspective in life was all thanks to the sunshine that would light up his dreary skies.

—--

It was a puzzling day for him. After declaring war with a sorcerer possessing his best friend’s corpse and a curse who took over his adopted son’s body, one of the clearer objectives he had in mind was you. Amidst the chaos and calamity, where were you?

You were out of reach via cellphone and according to Yuji, you trailed off to your own whereabouts about ten days ago, which was the last time you’ve seen him. He presumed that you left the colonies while you could since the culling games were an association you dared not participate in.

And for Satoru, October 31 was still very fresh in his mind since time in that forsaken box did not pass at all. Seeing the damage in his comrades, injured students, and missing friends, his brain could not wrap around these unfathomable changes. Emotions of heartbreak, confusion, anger, and distortion all spiraled within him and even though he was a self-proclaimed master at it, these were pills that were impossible to swallow and pride through.

To make things worse, you were missing. Out of touch, but still ingrained in his mind. You were the pinnacle of his well-being and right now, he needed you – his spouse, the keeper of his soul, the sunshine of his life.

The second night of his return (his first night was just being bombarded with countless pieces of information from everyone present) was sleepless. Now sleeping in his former dorm room in the school for hiding purposes, all he wanted to do was mindlessly sneak away and search for you. 

But it’s ridiculous to ever think about you being involved in this ‘Saving-Satoru-Gojo-Operation’. Satoru knows you more than he knows himself. And even when desperation calls for desperate measures, you wouldn’t partake in the reck caused by his disappearance, especially in a game where lives had to be taken in order to proceed.

While you were an excellent student academically and had an overall above-decent score in physical combat training, your curse technique was never adequately trained. Like the sunshine that you were, you refused to see the darkness that will unfold from the power you harness. So instead, you remained as an average grade three sorcerer that depended on cursed tools while everyone else in your class flourished to higher ranks.

As you got older and your world started to shift, that was the only thing you refused to purposely change. Even when Geto confronted your ‘cowardice’ and ‘wasted potential,’ you (quite literally) stomped on his foot before marching back with your undispelled morals. When you realized that it was near-impossible to make a living from being a sorcerer without getting your hands dipped in dirty blood that wasn’t yours, even when the situation calls for it, that was when you finally threw in a white flag and left the world that was untailored for you.

After all, for someone who could only charge up by stealing the cursed energy of humans by killing them (we don’t talk about how it was figured out) before being able to use your ability, pursuing a civilian life was for the better. And after endless counting of sheep and countless uninsured reassurances about your safety, Satoru found himself slowly zoning out to a barely, slightly better tomorrow.

His six eyes woke him up moments before the school’s intrusion alarm did. And according to those honored gifts of his, it wasn’t a curse or two – no. It was a mesh of energy from hundreds of souls all marching into the headquarters, closer than a flock of ducks swimming through a shallow lake.

At 9:17 AM on November 21, 2018, Satoru Gojo found himself standing outside the near-abandoned headquarters, with no ancient, powerful army in front of him. No – instead, he’s found something much worse.

Instead of facing an army, he sees you… he thinks. Except now, the figure a few feet ahead was fierce, compiled with power, and rogue. He sensed anger, fear, and desperation, all typical energies of special grades. But, yours was much more compelling.

“Sunshine?” He can barely utter in disbelief before repeating your actual name. He had to squint very hard to get through all of that blaring energy, to see your body, to see you. Aside from the surprising power-up, much of you remained the same as the day he left. However, this version of you was twisted from the sweet and loving spouse he bidding a temporary adieu to.

Your face was sunken, under eyes darker than the rest of your complexion, hollowing out the fatigue. A lobeless right ear and scars both fairly new and still in the process of healing littered your face, neck, and forearms. God only knows how many more dashed your once flawless skin. The dullness in your skin and eyes took away the joyful innocence that Satoru tried so hard to protect, to keep alive.

“What’s your favorite feature about me?” You read the card out loud after fishing it from the bowl.

Putting all of the ‘platonic’ dates aside, this quiet Friday night was your third official date with Satoru, which was spent in your new apartment. Both parties plopped on the floor, legs crisscrossed beneath the coffee table and a game set of “Get to Know Your Partner.”

Taking a sip of his (fourth) mocktail, the minted teacher pouted as he analyzed you from the tips of your hair, all the way to your toes. You knew at this point, he loved all of you. But to discover his specific favorite was enticing.

In a joking manner, you leaned in up close and personal, so he could capture every crevice of you. But leading up to a flushed surprise, Satoru licked the bottom of his lip before smashing it against yours. Perhaps it was the placebo from the fake alcohol, but he was very handsy on that particular date night. Handsy purely lovingly and handsy that is above PG-13.

When he finally pulled away, red and intoxicated, he kept his palms on your cheeks, unable to let go. You, just as flustered, darted between his eyes and lips.

“You need to give me an answer, big boy.” Your eyes could barely keep open as he was hovering closer until he was an inch apart.

“This is an unfair question, sunshine. I can create a grocery list instead.” As his thumb traced around your lip, the glassiness of his magnetic blues pulled you into a mental trance. There’s a feeling stirring that the game might get cut short.

But you pressed on. At least have him answer this one. Is it your hair? Eyes? Lips, hips, legs? (you guessed ass first since that was something Satoru could never pry away from.) “Just one answer and we can move on.”

Though you’d expected a Gojo-like answer, you were appalled when the lust in his stare softened to an adoring gaze, one that’s only been expressed once in front of you at the time. 

“I suppose so. If I had to choose…” He mumbled as he took your hand and threaded his fingers through yours. “It’d be your heart. The one that would never hurt a fly, yet wouldn’t hesitate to land a punch on me.”

You pronounced a giggle at the juxtapositioned truth, earning a kiss on the tip of your nose, “I really thought you were gonna say my ass.”

That’s when Satoru moved to your cheek, then your chin, and then trailed multiple kisses down to your neck in fast, pecking motions. He laughed as he laid you down on the floor.

“Oh, that was a very close first, trust me.”

—--

A heart that was pure and warm, one that pumped an endless surplus of bright radiance. Perhaps it pumped gold instead of blood, which was the reason why all parts of you beamed graciously in his view.

But this… This person standing in front of him was the complete opposite. This thing in the body of his spouse has been diluted by darkness as it carries the pain and misery of more than plenty. From how your eyes no longer carried that spark to how the sun only embellished your scars. Even the way you carried yourself no longer had diligence, but rather, anger and vengeance. This isn’t you. This shouldn’t be you.

But his soul knows otherwise. 

The wind coursed through his and your hair, to add more to the tension. This wasn’t the reunion he was expecting. Should he run up to you? Take you in with open arms? But his feet remained frozen, nerves filled with the same shock as when Kenjaku revealed himself in his best friend’s body.

Instead, Satoru said your name again with more realization. “What happened to you?”

You didn’t carry a cursed tool. Your bruised fists were enough declaration that your body was the only physical weapon used for combat. After taking in the moment as well, the dimness in your eyes vanished a little. You analyzed the being in front of you, just as how he did it first. With widened eyes, you took a step closer.

“Is this a hallucination?” You mumbled more to yourself, unsure. A shapeshifter, maybe. With clenched fists, you challenged. “Who are you really?”

“What?” Winded due to your response, Satoru shook his head, hands out, palms facing you. “It’s me, sunshine. The real thing. Don’t tell me you forgot who this pretty face is?”

With a regard to his self-deployed humor, your stance relaxed slightly, but overall still on high alert. 

“Of course not, but after all of the shit I’ve been through, it's hard to trust anyone based on appearance alone.” The Honored One felt guilty for inevitably leading you to be unparalleled with your trust in him. “Prove it. Prove that you’re Satoru Gojo.”

“Really?” His defeated exterior slumped. But upon seeing how unwavering you are, yet how hope made your lips tremble as though it was a foreign emotion. It’s bizarre how everything about you could change in less than a month. “Alright, I’ll prove it to ya.”

He could easily light up the sky with reds, blues, and purples or teleport you to all seven wonders of the earth or take you into his domain expansion or even wrap you around from an arm’s distance with his infinity. But no, demonstrating his power rather than himself would not lead to any benefit. Thinking not too long, yet hard, his fuzzy white strands steadily popped up from an idea.

“Do you know why I call you sunshine?”

“Huh- oh!” You attempted to lift your head slightly from his shoulder, only to have his palm push you back down to the position. 

It’s been a year since Geto declared his departure from the system, his friends, and Gojo. And since then, the former half of him wilted into a being with a harsh exterior, yet solemn and fragile interior. It took you and Shoko days to convince Gojo to not overwork himself with back-to-back missions. Even though his obnoxious refutes and boisterous energy claimed otherwise, he was bringing himself over the limit. 

And finally, you were able to take him to the beach and watch the marbling sunset course over the flat sea.

A majority of your time together was spent quietly, which was becoming the new norm ever since that day. Not that you minded, but you did miss the private teases and bantering remarks thrown during the brighter days.

“I asked-”

“Well, that was the first thing you ever said to me before taking my seat on the first day of school.” You giggled at the fond memory. A young Gojo, embarrassed from your polite, yet assertive scolding. “I never really thought why. I just assumed it was a nickname that stuck.”

Colors of orange, yellow, and red blended across the sky, melting together like waxed crayons. The foam of upcoming tides barely approached your toes as it had always been knocked away by Gojo, thanks to his infinity. The sand was cool to the touch, but the close proximity between you both made the atmosphere a whole lot warmer.

Being on the side closest to his heart, you had your right hand resting on Satoru’s left knee. And slowly, his long fingers traced the softness of your skin, which was barely flawed like his. He didn’t speak immediately after, leading you to think that it was the end of the discussion. But when your hand was cupped by both of his palms, it was an indication that he was just starting to answer.

“Yeah… I guess that’s where it started. But it kinda developed to something more- a stronger meaning.” Was it just the reflection of the sun, or was his face just red? The closer you leaned in, the more he hid his face from your direction. “Ever since Suguru left, I’ve been going down this path solo, one where it’s dark and scary and filled with danger. I could blink one moment and the next, I’d been stabbed through the heart. And, I was just expected to wear a mask and to serve the people, like his old principles.”

It was difficult to see his full expression through his white locks. “And while my overall perspective did change, it’s still a scary road to walk on. It’s cold, disheartening, unforgiving – even for sorcerers like me. It’s dark in there and I thought that I would be walking inside that empty cave alone, forever.”

The speaker probably didn’t notice the way his hand shook as he continued to reflect on his experiences. Your free arm snaked around his, tugging him closer to you, providing silent encouragement. Satoru took a shaky breath, promptly exhaling.

“Anyways, I did something that Yaga told me to do. I thought about all the times I wasn’t alone. Most of them consisted of Nanami, Shoko, Utahime, and a few others. But all of the time, you were there. No matter what the event is, you were there with me. Honestly, I thought it was annoying at first since you were probably throwing me some sort of pity party-”

You slapped his arm. “Hey!”

“-but your presence alone was something I needed. Not once did I ever feel lonely when you were by my side. You were the sunshine I look forward to seeing at the end of the tunnel.” This time, he was gazing at you, eye-to-eye. The beautiful sunset was saturated and colorless in comparison to his irises. “Even back then too. You’ve always brightened my day whenever we see each other. I looked forward to going to class because of you, isn’t that crazy?”

Beyond your flustered heart was a stomach that had been flopped and churned by butterflies. Touched by how vulnerable and raw he was, you couldn’t help but kiss his knuckles, causing a disoriented jolt from his end. “Well, I am quite known for making remarkable entrances. Is this your way of confessing to me?”

“Hmm, I was just appreciating you. But I don’t mind killing two birds with one stone.” Cheekily, he pulled you into a bear-crushing hug. His fingers smoothed your head, while his nose dug into the dip of your neck, inhaling your very scent. “I still have long ways to go, but I’m healing because of you. You are my sunshine, even in the darkest of days. I can’t even imagine who’d I become without your existence. Thank you for showing me that there’s light after darkness, my beautiful, beautiful sunshine.

Keep your heart like that and don’t ever change for me.”

—--

“Oh my God…” You mumbled, finally unclenching your fists. “Satoru you’re real.”

His worrisome glance shifted to a soft, relieved gaze. “In the flesh, sunshine.”

As the both of you walked up to each other, closing the gap after what felt like an eternity apart, Gojo traced the scars with his fingertips that branded the new you. He bit his lip and read your eyes. Still different than the ones he fell in love to, but these pairs still belonged to the one he fell in love with. Though it felt like they did not express the full amount of happiness. 

There was something lacking.

“Sensei!” A young, masculine voice edged from behind. “Get away from them!”

For once, Satoru felt irked by Yuta’s presence. But a part of him did want to oblige. “It’s just my spouse, kid. Don’t worry.”

“But…” The 16-year-old wiped his lips with his hand. He was fond of you, yes. But from this rather drastic change in both energy and physicality, he questioned the same thing as everyone – whether the one about to be embraced by Satoru was actually you. After all, 19 days in the games really deplete one’s trust in others. 

He trusted his teacher’s gut, but he was still curious. It was obvious that you’ve seen things, hell, dealt with plenty. As he was slowly being accompanied by other sorcerers, he called upon Kogane to pull up your information.

“Kogane.” The shikigami appeared from Yuta’s calling. Hesitantly, he pronounced your name. “How many points do they have?”

1 point for non-sorcerers and 5 for those with a wielded technique.

With a pitched voice, the liaison quirked. “This player has earned 323 points, achieving the highest points within the Osaka region! They are qualified to add three new rules.”

Still slightly confused about the point system, Gojo soaked in the number as best he could and connected it with the insanely high score. The stammer in his heart returned and his brain cycled to defense mode, demanding his body to unleash his infinity. He forced it down because it’s you.

“Why is the score so high, sunshine?” His tone deepened as he analyzed your calm stance.

Yuta repeated the number out loud in disbelief. The other contenders that briefly woke up murmured amongst themselves. “Surely points have been transferred over, right?”

When you didn’t respond to Yuta’s predicament, another player, Hakari had to pull the trigger. “Kogane, pull up their kill count.”

Satoru wanted to blast the stupid creature into bits because its pitched voice was annoying the living shit out of him too. Though mainly, he did not want to hear the results.

“59 sorcerers and 28 civilians have been killed!” It shrieked before vanishing into thin air. The results rang through everyone’s ears, though they coursed through Satoru’s veins. 

You. You killed 87 people. 28 of them are innocents.

Not wanting to, Yuta gripped his katana in a ready position, while everyone else prepared their stances. Though it’s ironic from the red-handed players, they don’t know what your motive is, especially why you have points stacked up.

Satoru’s head pounded from the racketeering noises. All of his focus is on you, his spouse. The one who has a tally mark of 87. And if it wasn’t for his release, probably more.

The blast from his chest was from a familiar feeling of blindsided-ness. You, the one who refuses to hurt those who have wronged you, one who would nearly faint at the sight of blood, one who left Jujutsu for this exact reason, because your only way of obtaining cursed energy derives from humans killed by your hands.

You’ve juiced up, alright. With eighty-fucking-seven streaks. And plenty of those sorcerers were most likely reincarnates from the Heian Era. 

Satoru grabbed your shoulders, shaking the answers from you. “Tell me it’s all for a good reason. They were attacking you, right? So you had to defend yourself in order to live.”

But why did you stay within the colonies?

You glanced up with a new embellishment in your gaze. It’s no longer happiness, hope, or pure darkness. Instead, it was disappointment.

Chuckling at yourself, you scratched the back of your head, smiling openly and widely. “Eh… You can say that. I was doing this so I can get you back, ‘Toru. Hopefully, when I save up enough points, I get to make rules that overwrite previous ones, but uh… I see that I no longer need to do that.”

For your entire life, you were easily discarded as ‘wasted potential’ by higher-ups, parents, and Geto. When stronger upperclassmen bullied your existence, you dared to not challenge them, because human life, weak or strong, was always valuable. Gojo would get pissed off every time you allowed yourself to get pushed like a ragdoll. But you’ve always endured it. You endured everything, because you value life, whether the life at hand is good or bad. 

You threw your own morals down the trash for him. Satoru doesn’t know how to feel about that.

When the alarm faded into silence, the atmosphere waited with everyone on their toes. While the strongest was visibly panicked over the confession from the love of his life, you were casually jumbling through your experiences as though he was your diary.

“Not gonna lie though,” You bit your lip. “I am so happy that you are back, ‘Toru. But I feel disappointed that all my efforts went to waste.”

That you did this for nothing. 

Satoru shook his head, ready to validate anything that you feel. But he felt dirty upon hearing what you’ve gone through, what you did. “I’ve returned to you, sunshine. You did whatever you could to bring me home and I appreciate it all. Thank you for doing this for me. But I’m back and we can stop now.”

A slight pause. “I wanna keep going.”

“What?” Nobody could believe the words you were saying. “Sunshine, I’m not following.”

“Did you hear that shikigami? I have the highest score in Osaka!” You clapped your hands together, eyes bewildered. The spark Satoru tried so hard to look for, returned. “Now, I can get the highest in all of the colonies. Honestly, killing the first few people was difficult, but the more I kept going, the easier it became. And the more I do it, the more powerful I become. I haven’t felt this strong since, ever actually. Doing this is fun!”

Horrified, Satoru took a step away from you. “Slaughtering 87 people is fun to you? What the hell are you saying?”

You crossed your arms, thinking not too long and not too hard. “Yeah. I understand why the sorcerers from the Heian did this all for sport. I know you guys want to end everything and blah, blah, blah, but I’ll be minding my own business for now.”

The issue with never studying your abilities is that nobody knows the effects that go along with it. Not only do you soak in cursed energy through the soul, but their core beliefs merge with you. And since you’ve had over two dozen kills of reincarnates from the Heian period who enjoys fighting and getting their hands dirty, your outlook on life had, uh… altered.

“And what if I don’t let you?” Satoru spoke as though he was facing an enemy. But there was an edge to his voice, a majority of him wanted to fall on his knees and wrap his arms around you, begging you not to leave him, not to commit these acts. “You’ll continue to hurt people and I won’t let that happen.”

“Oooh, you gonna kill me?” Your eyes sparked up again at the thought of this challenge. “Actually, this isn’t fair. You’re way stronger than me. Let me collect more points before we can come back-”

“- humans. You’re collecting human beings.” His voice rose as he brought his own morale that was shaped by the two most important people in his life. “This isn’t any game that is played for fun. You are taking human lives. Do you not know what you’re saying?!”

“I do.” Your smile faded to a short grin. “But ever since your disappearance Satoru, I realized something. People don’t give a shit about lives. They throw their own away for the sake of pleasure or take others in order to move up or protect their skin. All I’ve seen and realized in the apocalyptic mess we are in is that the only thing you’ll have to care about is yourself. And I, oh- I’ve been holding back for so long. I am ready to unleash who I am.”

He swallowed regretfully at the realization that the love he left behind had also left him – that the sun he looked forward to seeing had permanently set.

You found yourself and you were never coming back. You will continue to fight and kill innocent people just to achieve the top ranks. You’ve gone mad. He can’t live by that. He can’t let you live like that.

Satoru crossed his fingers together, reading into you one last time. While your eyes had set into darkness, his pooled like the ocean.

“I was looking forward to going back to the beach with you.” He mumbled softly, so only you could hear it.

“Then come with me.” You whispered, pulling him into a kiss. “Fight with me before we fight each other. Help me get stronger like you.”

As much as his heartstrings pulled at you, he stopped a centimeter away, his lips barely brushing against yours. He wanted to give in, to fall apart with you and never be mended whole. But after staying in complete darkness for what felt like a lifetime, he can’t afford to see someone who once had so much light be obscured by the same tunnel.

Satoru never met you halfway. “I can’t do that, sunshine. I’m sorry.”

When he unleashed his domain expansion, the world around him turned a lot grayer. And with you, the only source of his light gone, his skies only continue to get darker.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you." He hummed into your ear, delicate with how he held you in his arms as you chuckled at his little parody. "I won't let anyone take my sunshine away."

He'll go as far as erasing anyone who plans to. That's his promise to you.

----

note: Daddy's home y'all. Too bad that this isn't the fic that celebrates that in a fun manner. (sorry)

Thanks for reading! here's my contribution to his awfully waited return. Been waiting 3 years for this shit LMAOOO

Interactions are much appreciated :)