Secrets I Have Held In My Heart

secrets i have held in my heart

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

summary: when a slytherin classmate asks you out, you gladly accept. but why is sirius so upset about it?

warnings: angst + fluff

word count: 3.0k

note: not sure if the title makes sense but i was listening to i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys while writing this soo.... enjoyy

“who were you just talking to? seemed awfully friendly.”

a smile pulled at your lips as you approached your friends, grinning at lily’s question. “vincent richmond. he's in our year.” you replied.

“who!?”

and that would be sirius black, who nearly spat out his juice at your mention of the boy’s name. “vincent richm-” you go to repeat but sirius interjects again. “no, i heard you. what i meant to say was.. why?”

you ignored sirius and turned back to lily, “as i was saying, he asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend.” you tell her excitedly.

“he what!?”

“sirius please, i'm trying to have a conversation with lily.”

sirius shook his head, moving closer to you. “so what did he say when you rejected him?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. you rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. “i didn't reject him.” his eyes grow wide, “you didn’t?” he almost whispers as if saying it too loud might get him in trouble.

“i didn’t.”

“why not?” his voice is much louder now. you look at him with disbelief and confusion. “why not? uhh i don't know. maybe because he's nice-”

“nice? he's a slytherin! lily, tell her she can't go on this date.” he looks over to your friend. she shrugs, “she can make her own decisions, sirius. in fact, i encourage it.”

sirius’ mouth opens in shock. “encourage it? why?”

“well, she's been hung up on-” she's cut off by a nudge. her eyes widen as she realized what she's almost revealed. meeting your glare, she offers you an apologetic smile.

“i mean, you know, it's just a date. let her have fun.” she awkwardly stumbles through her sentence, shamefully looking down to her food once she’s finished.

“homework!” you suddenly call out. “i forgot my potions essay in the dorm, i'll go fetch it.” it wasn't a lie, you really did forget, but thankfully it gave you the opportunity to leave the conversation and get away from sirius.

you couldn't believe him. why was he so against you and vincent? it annoyed you to no end, or rather it confused you. but that seemed to be your friendship with him, confusing. sirius black was in possession of something very dangerous, charm. and unfortunately, you fell victim to it.

everyone knew he was a natural flirt. all he had to do was flash a cheeky smile and girls fell at his feet. and oh, how you tried not to fall for it, tried to resist. but the heart is a fickle thing, is it not?

but the risk of your friendship was too big. during your time at hogwarts, sirius had become a very good friend of yours. he was spontaneous, fun, but most of all loyal. you treasured the relationship you had with him, and not wanting to jeopardize it, you decide to keep your growing feelings for the boy to yourself. who even knows if he felt the same?

it was hard at first. so much so, that lily took notice how your gaze lingered on him, how you laughed a little louder at his jokes. once she confronted you, you knew you couldn't keep it from her. however, telling her of your feelings had proved to be helpful. somehow getting everything off your chest aided you in getting over the long haired boy. although, not completely.

once you retrieved your homework, you quickly made haste so as not to miss your first class when you were stopped by sirius. “what?”

“are you really going to hogsmeade with richmond?”

you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i am.” sirius’ shoulders sag at your answer, head slowly hanging down. “but why?” you stayed silent for a moment, waiting until sirius meets your eyes once again. “because he asked me.”

“you can't go out with him.” he insists to which you rolled your eyes. “why is that?” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared him down. “b-because he's a slytherin!”

“so?” you tilt your head at him. “so? so, he's evil?” he exclaims. “evil? sirius, you don't even know him.”

“neither do you!”

your hand comes up to your temple, rubbing it in frustration. “exactly, so i'm going on this date to decide for myself what kind of person he is.”

“but-”

“why are you against this? as my friend, i’d think you want me to be happy.”

sirius jaw clenches at your words, “is that what you think? i don't want you to be happy?” you press your lips together as you shrug your shoulders, “i don't what else to think, sirius!”

“i’m only acting this way because i want you to be happy; i'm looking out for you!”

“looking out for me? you haven't given me a valid reason as to why i shouldn't go out with vincent.”

“yes i have.”

“no, you've only shown your contempt for him about twenty times over.”

“i told you, he's tricking you. he’s a snake.”

“because that's the only reason someone would ever express interest in me. to make me the butt of some joke?”

sirius looks taken aback at your statement, “that is not at all what i said, you are not listening to me.”

“i think i've listened enough.” you huff. the tension is high, a few of your fellow students lingering in the hallway to listen in on the argument. the both of you are practically fuming with anger. “oh have you?” sirius snarks. you nod at him. he shakes his head, “you know, i'm only looking out for you,” his voice is stern. “i don't want to see you get hurt.” he added.

“i can take care of myself.”

sirius nodded, lips pursed as he let out a sigh, “fine. but don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit!” he called out before turning on his heel. “don't worry, i won’t need to!” you yell at his retreating figure.

-

it's hogsmeade weekend, which means it's time for your date with vincent. you had been giddy about it all week, save for the spat you had with sirius. you haven't spoken to him since, not that he made any effort either.

nonetheless you were gonna go on this date and you were gonna have a good time, regardless of what sirius thinks.

with the help of the girls, you picked out a great outfit and did your hair. after a small pep talk from your friends, you were off to hogsmeade. vincent told you he'd meet you at the three broomsticks and from then on you'd see where the day takes you. the girls sent you off while they went to honeydukes, wishing you good luck as they did so.

-

“she’s really going on the date.”

“sorry mate.” james comforted sirius as he laid on his bed, head buried in a pillow. the boys had decided to sit this hogsmeade weekend. mostly for sirius’ sake. he didn't want to risk the chance of running into you, of running into you and vincent. “it's just one date, pads. who knows what’ll come of it.” james continued. “but now she's angry at me.” sirius groaned.

“i don't blame her.” remus decides to speak up. sirius lifts his head from the pillow. “et tu, moony?”

“you were being a git. she's right to be angry with you.”

“i was only trying to warn her- how could she go out with him?”

“well, i'm sure if you told her the actual reason you don't want her going on this date, she wouldn’t currently be on the date.” remus pointed out, james nodding in agreement. “he's right, pads.”

“oh, what do you know? you've been pining after lily for the past six years and she still won't give you the time of day.”

“okay, i know you didn't mean that. you're hurt because the girl you're in love with is currently on a date with someone else. so i forgive you. cheap shot, though.”

sirius gasps, “woah, woah. in love? i’m not in love with y/n.” he says, looking up to his friends who now have unamused looks on their faces. “i'm not! wormy, back me up here.” sirius urges peter, who looks away awkwardly, not saying anything. sirius mouth falls open. “really, wormtail?”

“it's pretty obvious, padfoot.” peter spoke softly, james and remus both hum in agreement. “obvious to everyone but him. and y/n, apparently.” remus adds. sirius shakes his head.

“i'm not in love. she's my friend and i want the best for her.” james goes to interject but sirius continues, “okay maybe i have a little crush, but can you blame me? she's amazing. she's so smart and brave. and funny. and i love spending time with her, it's the best part of my day-”

james, remus and peter all share knowing glances as sirius rambles on, fighting off smiles when sirius gets up to pace around the room all the while still talking.

“.. her hair always sits so pretty and she smells amazing and it's not that i don't want her to date, i just don't want her dating anyone but me-” sirius pauses in his rant and his pacing. his eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen as if he came to a realization.

“i’m in love with y/n.”

“finally!” the boys shout in unison at his revelation, getting up to pat him on the back. they celebrate for a bit before sirius freezes. “i have to stop that date.”

-

it had been thirty minutes and vincent still hasn't shown up. you'd stood outside the three broomsticks for five minutes before deciding to go in to look for him. when he wasn't inside, your mood started to deflate, but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. so you went back outside and kept on waiting.

while your patience was growing thin, your anger was getting stronger. you were ready to leave and look for your friends when you heard vincent’s voice.

“i told you!” as he came closer into view, you saw that he wasn't alone. he was joined by a group of boys. and they were laughing, some were even pointing at you. furious, you stomp over to vincent.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting?”

the smug look on his face doesn't falter, “30 minutes? give or take?” he smirks at you and your face drops. “what?”

vincent let out a barking laugh, “oh, you didn't actually think i was interested in you, did you?” your eyes widen in shock, unable to find the words. “oh you did, didn’t you? too bad.”

your fists clench at your side at the sound of his voice, his laughter, his friend’s laughter. “so what, this was all just some dumb joke?”

“a bet, dollface. i suppose i should thank you, i'm a few galleons richer because of you. pay up, fellas!”

“you're awful.”

“good thing i don't care.” his friends break out into laughter once more, oh the dreadful sound. you were about to storm off but not before reaching for your wand and casting a few jinx spells.

-

you were currently being comforted by lily and marlene. they'd found you in the common room, sobbing on the couch. you would have gone up to your dorms but since everyone was at hogsmeade you had settled for the common room.

your sobs have stopped by now, but tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “i'm such an idiot.” you sniffled. “no, you're not. he’s the idiot.” marlene assured, her hand comfortingly resting on your back. “she’s right. you are an amazing girl and he's an absolute arse for doing that to you.” lily spoke.

“merlin, he was right.” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. lily and marlene share a confused look, “who? vincent.”

“no,” you groan, “sirius-”

frantic footsteps can be heard suddenly, interrupting you. they get louder and louder until they reach the common room. you freeze at the sound of his voice. all four of the marauders are now in the room. you quickly wipe away at your tears and attempt to regulate your breathing. they spot lily and marlene first.

“girls, have you seen y/n-” james’ voice falters as he walks closer and spots you on the couch. at his abrupt silence, sirius quickly runs over to see why james had stopped talking. sirius freezes at the sight of you. surrounded by tissues. eyes red and puffy and cheeks flushed.

remus and peter soon join them, equally shocked at the situation. “what happened?” remus spoke softly, voice concerned. “nothing.” you quickly say, hoping they didn't hear the crack in your voice. “but you're crying.”

“i'm fine.”

“are you sure-”

“yes!” you look up to see the boys’ worried looks, you heave a sigh as you feel another tear falling down. not trusting your voice, you gesture to lily and marlene, giving them the okay to tell them what happened.

“vincent.”

sirius’ jaw clenches at the name, he has been quiet all this time, his eyes never leaving you. “the date was just some stupid bet with his friends. to see how long y/n would wait for him.” the boys gasp as their faces contort into disbelief, shock and anger.

sirius huffs, nostrils flaring as his fist clench at his side. he quickly turns to leave the room, ready to give vincent a piece of his mind when remus stops him. “don’t do anything stupid. you need to be here for her right now.” sirius sighs before realizing that remus is right and turns back to you.

“that’s awful, y/n. what a git.” james curses, shaking his head sympathetically. everyone nodded in agreement.

“are you okay?” sirius asks, the room falling silent. standing up from the couch, you finally meet his eyes, his familiar grey orbs bring a sense of comfort despite the tension between the two of you. you nod at him. “you were right.” you whispered. when he says nothing you continue, “he was bad news and i should’ve listened to you. could you gloat at a later time, though? not really in the mood.” your voice is shaky as more tears escape.

“and don't worry, i won't come crying to you.”

sirius lets out a sigh, “what if i come to you?”

you cautiously watch as sirius strides over to you, opening his arms and bringing you into his chest, nestling his face into your hair. you tense up for a moment before melting into him, wrapping your arms around him.

lily gestures for everyone to leave, nodding her head at the door. they all follow suit, quietly exiting the room to give you some privacy.

you start sobbing quietly as sirius holds you close. you feel his hand come up to stroke your head. “i’m sorry.” you snicker. sirius pulls back, enough so he can cup your face. “hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” he assures you. you shake your head. “i do. i should've listened you and then we fought-”

“that was my fault.”

“but you were right about him.”

“i didn't want to be! everything i said was out of pure jealousy. if i knew what he was up to, trust me, i would have been a lot more persistent.”

“you were jealous?”

sirius looks down at you with a fond smile, “love, i'm jealous of anyone who holds your attention for more than a minute.”

your mouth slightly opens at his statement. sirius lets his words sink in. it’s a confession. of sorts. he so badly wants to scream how utterly in love he is with you, but he decides he’ll tell you tomorrow. with your favorite flowers, maybe some sweets from honeydukes. and definitely in a more romantic setting.

“just a heads up, me and the guys are definitely gonna make vincent and his foul little friends pay. i'm sure james already has some ideas.”

you let out a laugh, “no need, right now they're all covered in boils and throwing up slugs.” you tell him proudly. sirius gives you an amused look, “i've taught you well.”

-

some time later the both of you are on the couch, his arms around as your head rests on his chest. some of your housemates had come and gone, pausing as they saw the two of you entangled together.

sirius absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you engaged in conversation about anything and everything. your tears had stopped long ago and now you could barely remember the entire vincent fiasco. now you feel at ease, at peace. in his arms.

“...you should've seen snape’s face. oh, it was priceless-” sirius pauses his story as he feels your breathing even out. when he looks down, he finds your eyes closed, your face cuddled into his chest. he couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as he watched you.

careful not to wake you up, he adjusts slightly on the couch so you can stretch out more comfortably, movement freezing when you stir. once he feels you settle once more, his hand comes up to stroke the top of your hair. you nuzzle more into his chest at the gesture and sirius hopes you don't feel the rapid beating of his heart.

he contemplates on waking you up, you probably would be more comfortable on your bed, but he selfishly decides against it, opting to hold you in his arms a little while longer.

a few moments pass and you're still sleeping soundly on sirius’ chest. he looks down to your face and heaves a sigh. the events from earlier are still at the back of his mind. the nerve of vincent richmond.

“you did not deserve that.” he whispers softly. “you are so fucking precious and you don’t realize, huh?” his thumb traces over your cheek, “you deserve the world and everything beyond,” he breathes into your hair. “and i will make it my life’s mission to give you just that.” he pressed a soft kiss to your head before stroking over your hair once more.

tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything. how deeply he feels for you, how you make his heart swell with a simple smile, how he cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything he just said and he’ll make sure you're awake to actually hear him.

fortunately, you were always a light sleeper.

your ralph headcannons are my kryptonite, i love them so much. Could you do kiss head cannons with ralph or connor? pretty please !

a/n: why not… BOTH. on my knees begging for forgiveness it’s been months I’m so sorry, I hope this is adequate!

also if y’all want more dbh characters for this prompt I’m game 👀 just ask

KISS HCS | ralph & connor

Ralph (WR600)

— a shy but enthusiastic kisser! the very first time you kiss him you think you did something wrong because he immediately starts to cry, but it’s happy tears I promise! You must forgive Ralph, he’s so easily overwhelmed by emotion.

— While Ralph definitely isn’t shy about asking for kisses after he’s grown used to it, he’s still the type to stare at your lips and get all flustered when you catch him looking. You can only grin and lean in extra close, lips a hair away from his before you ask him if he perhaps 👉👈 wants a kiss. And he always shudders, before muttering a “yes please.”

— honestly way too fucking cute, always gets what he wants from you- often with just a pitiful look.

— His favorite way to kiss you is softly, slowly, and sickeningly sweetly. The kind you pull away from and just stare at each other afterwards with that lovesick puppy look.

— Ralph will actually sob if you kiss over his scars.

— Kisses are 100% a part of his routine, a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye at the very least, and if you forget he will chase you out the door for his kiss he don’t play.

— And if you haven’t been smooching him as often he will overthink and assume he’s surely done something wrong to not deserve them. Imagine your surprise when you come home and he’s throwing himself at you, sobbing and begging you to tell him what he’s done wrong. And you cup his coolant-stained face and ask him what could possibly make him think you’re upset with him, he says “W-well you didn’t kiss me goodbye today and-“

— Please don’t skimp on smooches please he’s sensitive.

Connor (RK800)

— Connor might be a little obsessed with kissing, and you absolutely tease him about it.

— and he always says the most endearing shit in response like “I like kissing you 🥺” which is reason enough to marry this man on sight.

— The first time you kissed Connor you thought you broke him, because he was so still and just stared when you pulled away, as if in a trance. As if you’d just changed his whole world— and you did! His hands catch your face before it strays too far and his lips are on yours again. You don’t remember how long you spent on the roof kissing him in the pouring rain but you remember how breathless you felt walking back to your apartment that night, lips bruised and tingling.

— Your favorite part about kissing Connor has to be the longing look he gives you every time you pull away, more often than not his lips chase yours and drag you back into a vicious cycle of sharing spit in places you absolutely SHOULDN’T be sucking face. You’ve been told to get a room by Hank at too many crime scenes.

— You were never big on PDA before entering a relationship with Connor, but the android had a way of drawing you in and getting you into trouble way too easily. Too often you didn’t even remember who leaned in first, or what you were doing before he was sighing into your mouth and smiling against your lips.

— Connor is a big fan of tongue-kissing too, he really can’t help it. Mans is obsessed with tasting you. His tongue is a strange texture but it’s hardly a deterrent when you’ve got him pressed between your warm body and the wall of an alley and his hands are everywhere. Lightly tug his bottom lip between your teeth and he’s lost to the world, groaning out loud. It drives him crazy.

— He’s definitely partial to kissing your lips, but he’ll leave soft kisses to your forehead or the back of your shoulder when he passes by. Doesn’t realize he does it most of the time.

“Leave it on” Choso 😔🙏

Choso can't breathe as you lay face down on the bed arching your back, you ass pushed up invitingly, revealing the little lace thong barely covering your already soaked cunt.

The little patch of wetness covering the crotch only made it that much more inviting.

"Do you mind if I leave it on?" he asks tremblingly.

You giggle. while glancing at him over your shoulder. "Sure but Cho...how do you plan to fuck me like that?"

He responds by hooking his finger across the scanty material and pulling them to one side, your glistening folds on display.

"Like this," he breathes, and without warning, plunges his hard cock into your warm, wet folds.

rain makes leon feel.. rougher than most.

maybe its because of the louder sounds of the water hitting the windows, or the ground. but he knows it sparks something in him.

“holy shit.” he growls, gripping the under of your ass. “s’fuckin tight..” you hear the whine in his throat, forcing his cock deeper into your soppy pussy.

“leon!” you moan, nails digging in the pillow. you clenched around his cock, hair being pulled back as he pounded into your creamy walls.

“fuck baby..!” he groans, face coming close to your ear and breathed heavily. “all mine.. all mine.” he chants, all of his body weight in each thrust pushing you up. the rain poured harder, his hands on your hips.

“m going to cum, gonna cum!” he babbles, gnawing at your shoulder and licking the tenderized skin. “take me, take me please sweet girl!”

you nod, looking back at him and looking into his eyes. “cum ‘fer me, just like that, right there baby.” his lower jaw slacks, drool dribbling out into your thigh as he fucks his warm seed into your abused cervix.

“thats it, my baby..” you praise, throbbing your walls and moaning from his come seeping from your pussy.

Cruel Fates (Part 1)

Pairing: Azriel x f!Reader

Summary: Azriel is your mate but only you know it. You are very aware that he has eyes for someone else and thus you decide not to hide it forever. After all, what could go wrong right?

Warnings: Pure angst

Part 2 | Part 3

He was looking at her again. The only time he didn’t look at her was to update Rhysand on his last mission. You tried your best not to look at him but somehow your eyes wandered back to him like a moth drawn to flame.

The meeting finished and everyone left except for you and Rhysand. 

“How long do you plan to continue this?” he asked, worry coated his words.

“I don’t know, as long it takes.” your gaze was focused on the golden sunlight that poured from his window

“From what I see it looks like forever.” he placed a hand on her shoulder, “And forever is a long time, Y/N”

“What do you think I can do?” you said finally looking at him. You wished ignoring the feeling long enough would make it disappear.

“He’ll want to know. Tell him, we all saw what happened to Feyre and me” Rhys was the only person you told about this. He was the older brother you could confide in anytime.

“Feyre wasn’t in love with someone else.” At this point, you were not sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

“Azriel is your mate.”

“And he thinks the cauldron made a mistake with Lucian and Elain. He thinks Elain should be his mate. Not me. He barely looks at me that way Rhys.”

Rhys shook his head and sighed.

“I don’t know why we are having the same conversation for the hundredth time. I told you before and I'll tell you again, I am not going to say anything to Azriel. If I do it’ll ruin everything I already have with him.”

“I know have you at least tried to hint at him?”

“No. And I won’t besides Elain is happy when she is with him and that makes Feyre happy. I can’t do that to her Rhys. She has enough to worry about already.”

Rhys just looked at you as if you were some weird puzzle.

“Both of us know those are just partial reasons. You can’t bring yourself to tell him but my question is why."

He held my stare as he repeated, "why Y/N?”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “Because I am afraid he won’t like me. I am afraid yet another person who I like will tell me that they don’t see me the same way. I am tired of this, Rhys. Unless he realizes I can’t do anything. Maybe the cauldron was indeed mistaken.” 

With that, you just walked out of the room.

Next part

CHAOTIC MODERN SLIVER TRIO HEADCANNONS & IMAGINES

Who’s the first to get arrested: you or Sebastian. It’s a tough decision.

Who starts an argument first: Sebastian

Who finishes the argument: Ominis

Who starts a fight and wins: you & Sebastian

Who’s the baby of the trio: you

Who’s the rebel of the three: Sebastian

Who’s the ‘father/mother’ of the trio: you & Ominis

PLEASE IMAGINE SEBASTIAN PUSHING YOU AND OMINIS IN A SHOPPING CART😭😭

You three could never work together at a job. Even is Ominis definitely in my head would be a business man, Sebastian is slight goofing off with you only for you three to be fired. Ominis wasn’t even in the mix, he was staring off at a wall trying to take a customer’s order.

“How in heavens was I fired?!” Ominis says gripping your shoulder as Sebastian just scratches his head. You were annoyed as well, pointing at the 2nd tallest of the trio. “Seb accidentally throw the nuggets at the manager!” “It wasn’t my fault he was just standing there??!” Sebastian says throwing his hands up in disbelief

Sleepovers at your house is the best option, even in modern I feel like Ominis’s family are still the worse and Sebastian doesn’t have time for Anne to just burst into his hang out with his friends. So it’s your house. At your house you three do board games since movie nights aren’t best for Ominis. Monopoly is probably best, Uno is the worst for the poor gaunt. Because he can’t tell who’s lying and who’s not.

The trio energy is, Ominis: calm/no energy you: no energy/calm. And Sebastian is too much energy as he always has scheme under his sleeves.

When trying to learn or just baking with your two boys. It’s damn near the challenge of “Blind, mute, and deaf.” You sadly can’t hear for shit, Ominis is obvious. Sebastian is slightly stubborn on asking which goes where. Can’t tell me other wise.

Imagine having Ominis and Sebastian as your friend valentines. You bought them chocolates while their slight rich ass got you a lot of gifts. You had to store them in another room. It was very crazy that day.

Sleeping together in a bundle when sleepovers are over. Sebastian being the bed, you ontop of him, and Ominis beside you two. Wrapping his arms over you and Sebastian. It’s quite comfy as well. Can’t tell me otherwise, the visual is very nice.

I headcannon that the three of you can’t drive, of course Ominis can’t but he would be the type to “prove a bitch wrong.” And try to drive and drifts almost into Sebastian. It was hella chaotic as Ominis smiled as if he didn’t just almost run over Sebastian.