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tell me when you're sober ; sirius black x gn!gryffindor!reader

➻ yayay my first sirius fic !!

➻ word count: 2042

➻ synopsis: drunk at a house party, sirius calls the reader and confesses something he shouldn't have

➻ warnings: mentions of alcohol & being drunk, swearing, a little angst (maybe??), happy ending, kissing, gn pronouns (lmk if I've missed any!)

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You were lying on your bed at home, content with your cozy night in. The newest Ella Fitzgerald record playing softly from the corner; a candle burning on your nightstand. You’d completed an extensive self care routine, feeling fresh, healthy and calm as you settled into your newest novel — a romance that had you dreaming of one of your closest friends.

Sirius Black was one of your best friends in the whole world. Both being Gryffindors, you had pretty much grown up together, and somewhere along the way you’d developed feelings for him against your will. But how could you not? He was beautiful, charming, and always managed to make you laugh; even the longest nights studying in the common room weren’t quite as tedious when he was hanging around — as much as you’d complain about him ‘bothering’ you. Whilst you knew he wouldn’t ever reciprocate your feelings and you would remain just friends, you were mostly content with that fact. You were filled with the type of love for him that was somewhat satisfied as long as you could express it, regardless of if it was under the guise of platonic affection. Still, that resignation didn’t stop you from imagining Sirius as the love interest in the novels you read; reciting poetry and executing grand gestures in your head.

The phone ringing down the hall brought you from your daze, and you tried to focus on the words written on the page until your mother knocked on your bedroom door, saying the call was for you. Curiously, you crawled out of bed, straightening your pyjamas as you hurried to the phone attached to the wall just outside of the kitchen.

“Hello?” You didn’t know what to expect, but your face softened to a smile when you heard the reply.

“My gorgeous y/n!” Sirius sang, consonants slightly slurred. You knew your friends were at a house party tonight, one that you’d politely declined despite Sirius’ insistence in you being there. It wasn’t your scene, and the group had organised a quieter games night at James’ place the night after, so you weren’t worried about missing too much.

“What are you doing, Black? Shouldn’t you be dancing on a table somewhere?” You teased, laughing lightly at the memory of one party you did attend, and the absolute fool Sirius had made of himself to Bennie and the Jets. He hummed in agreement.

“I was. But I wanted to talk to my favourite person — ‘ve missed you.”

“You’re seeing me tomorrow, Sirius. I’m sure you can hold on sixteen more hours?” You could practically see Sirius shaking his head no, childish pout on his lips. That was how you knew he was pretty drunk, he always got whiny and overly affectionate.

“But that’s with everyone, I miss you,” You both loved and hated when he flirted with you like this; you knew it was a joke but it still made you weak in the knees. “Tell me about your day.” You sighed, knowing that it was chatting to him or worrying about the dumb inebriated decisions he would no doubt make, so you started.

You gave him a run through of your day, sliding down the wall to be in a seated position as you realised it would probably be a long call. You told him about the summer deep clean you’d powered through and the subsequent self care night you had definitely earned. He listened intently, and you could occasionally hear him hum into the phone or interject with a one word response, just so you knew he was paying attention. You’d launched into a recap of your novel so far when you realised he hadn’t spoken in several minutes. Worrying he’d passed out or lost interest in your ramblings you tapered off.

“Sirius? You there?” He hummed an affirmation. “Oh. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, ‘course. It’s just…” He trailed off and you frowned, holding the silence so he’d continue. “I love you.”

You sighed in relief. You two, and the rest of the friendship group, said ‘I love you’ all the time, it was never something to be apprehensive about.

“You know I love you too, Black. I’m still on the phone aren’t I?” You laughed, twirling the yellow cord around your freshly painted (but almost definitely dry) fingers. You heard him groan over the phone and faltered again.

“No, y/n. I’m fucking in love with you.”

You almost dropped the phone you were so surprised. You felt your heart beating against your chest, both in excitement and panic. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t. Maybe Remus had broken his promise and told Sirius about your crush on him and this was all some kind of sick joke. Sirius Black was not in love with you — you had seen him grinding and making out with Marissa from the year above at the end of year party, and that was only a few weeks ago. All the possible joy that had crept into the edges of your heart was extinguished, and instead anger bloomed, spreading to the tips of your fingers, which brought the receiver back up to your face.

“Hang up and tell me when you’re sober.” With that you slammed the phone back on the wall, hot tears building behind your eyes, threatening to fall. You stumbled blindly back into your bedroom, both red hot rage and crushing sadness obscuring your vision.

Safely in bed, you let the tears fall. How dare he? You were the one who had pined after him for years, made peace with the fact that you would never hear those words out of his mouth for you, and for what? For him to rip out your heart because he was drunk and bored? Did he think it was funny? Did he even know what he was doing to you? You sobbed into the stuffed dog Sirius had given you for your last birthday, before the anger resurfaced and you launched it across the room, slamming your head into the pillow as the toy made a dull thud against the wall.

You almost didn’t go to James’ game night the next evening. You reasoned it would just be too humiliating, Sirius would crow about the girl he had hooked up with after you’d ended the call — or even worse make fun of you about the supposed confession. No, you were more than ready to call in sick and spend the night pitying yourself over a fat bowl of ice cream. However, when James called around midday begging you to bring your ‘world famous’ white chocolate brownies “And your sweet face, of course,” how could you refuse? And so you got dressed in your confidence outfit; pulling your hair into your favourite style. You needed all the help you could get today.

Standing in front of James’ door you sucked in a breath. Trying to put an easy smile on your face, it faltered when Sirius was the one to welcome you inside. He grinned when he saw you, which made the flicker of anger spark once more. How could he act like he didn’t just say he was in love with you?

“Hey everyone, y/n’s here!” He called, and you could the hear the stampede of footsteps as your friends all came out to greet you. Your smile returned involuntarily as Remus pulled you into a strong hug, which was copied by each of the girls. James, conversely, dropped to the floor in a position of worship as you presented the tray of brownies.

You all sat around the fire, chatting easily as James painstakingly set up the game of Monopoly in front of you.

“Man, I don’t remember a thing from last night,” Sirius said, reclining back in an armchair. Everyone laughed but you, and you fought with your brain to keep your features relaxed as you stared at him.

“Be grateful for that,” Lily laughed, counting out game money in piles. “You made an utter tool of yourself.”

“Yeah, rambling about Merlin knows what all bloody night; you were nonsensical,” Marlene teased and you cast your eyes down to study your fingers, picking at the already chipping polish. That’s why Sirius had acted like nothing was wrong, he didn’t even remember he’d said it. Only you were left with your whole world changed, and the bastard didn’t even have to suffer the memories of it. Suddenly you were overcome with the urge to take the beer Peter was offering you, downing half the bottle in two gulps.

“What’s got you all riled up, love?” Remus asked and you stuttered, unable of course to tell him the truth. Eyeing James’ finished set up you created a lie.

“Getting ready to dominate you all in Monopoly, duh.”

After that night, you couldn’t face Sirius. You weren’t avoiding him, per se, you could never do that. But you weren’t making any effort to see him, and you were proud of that self restraint. At dinners you’d sit next to your other friends, not looking at him unless he addressed you directly. Between classes you’d take off without waiting for him, claiming you were already stressed about the workload. Your friends could tell something was wrong, but no one could figure out what — seemingly not even Sirius.

Until one Friday night. It was unusually quiet, no parties planned or adventures to be had, and so you and your friends had taken over the Gryffindor common room, laughing and talking over the radio and the crackling of the fireplace.

“Firewhiskey, Pads?” James offered, but Sirius shook his head.

“Not tonight.” He smiled, sparing a casual glance to you. You weren’t looking at him, pretending to be engrossed in Lily’s conversation, but you couldn’t help but be slightly concerned. When did Sirius ever turn down a drink? Especially on a Friday night. You shook your head slightly, it wasn’t your problem anymore, you were still mad at him.

Eventually the night wound down, everyone heading back up to their respective dorm room one by one, tired out by the week. When you look up from the novel you’d been engrossed in for the past half hour, you were shocked by the fact that it was just you and Sirius left. Stranger than that was that Sirius wasn’t even doing anything, just staring blankly at the fire as his leg bounced aggressively.

You got up quickly, collecting your things in the attempt of a smooth escape. No such luck. Sirius stood to stop you and you stepped back carefully.

“What are you doing, Sirius?” You asked, forcefully avoiding his steely gaze.

“I’m in love with you.” You faltered, meeting his eyes to search for hidden meaning. You found none.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you, stupid. And I’m sure as hell sober right now, you can ask anyone.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot as you realised what all this meant. He had told the truth on that phone call and you had not only hung up on him, but also got mad and avoided him. Despite his feelings being more than reciprocated. The burning anger that had made a home in your stomach recently dissolved into butterflies, and a smile grew. Sirius relaxed as he saw your body language change, and chanced a tentative step towards you.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Your eyes shone in the firelight and Sirius couldn’t help but pull you closer towards him, arms wrapped around your waist.

“I thought, I mean I was worried—” You cut him off by holding his cheeks in your palms, pressing a soft kiss on his lips, one which he hungrily chased. You laughed and indulged him, the two of you holding each other carefully, lips moving slowly, exploring the other.

“Just so we’re clear,” You teased, “I’m pretty in love with you too, Black.”

play stupid games, win stupid prizes

sirius thinks he’s hot shit, that is until you play his game.

warnings: no warnings, maybe a few curse words? sirius being dumb

tags: fluff, 4.2k wc, established relationship, emotionally constipated sirius, accidentally made an oc charlie wilson (also appeared in my james potter fic here)

“sirius, what the hell?” you near shouted as you got close to the group of boys. one in particular looking way too chipper for your liking. 

roughly tapping your boyfriend’s shoulder, as he continues to ignore you. “sirius, i’m talking to you.” 

slowly, he looked up at you from his seat. irritation flaring under your skin, as he all but smile calmly at you - looking like he’d done no wrong. you felt a blooming shame from making a scene in the great hall but the flare makes it easy to ignore. 

“where were you? i was waiting for you all afternoon.”

he looked at you, cooly, before shrugging, “oh i forgot, sorry about that.” though he looked anything but sorry. frankly, he looked rather satisfied with himself.  

you felt a gnawing migraine slowly come to you. you’ve noticed conversations like these are becoming way too frequent with your boyfriend, as of late. as pathetic as it sounds, it wasn’t the first time he’d stood you up either. 

you scoff, “you had begged me to come all morning and then you were no where to be found and you just forgot? what the fuck.”

sirius rolled his eyes, and you felt your eye twitch in anger, “i just forgot this one thing, it’s already over and done with. merlin, what else do you want from me?” he clicked his tongue and turned away from you to grab more food to fill his plate. seemingly done with the conversation. but you stayed standing behind him, boiling in anger.

the hall started to stir in murmurs, yet you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

“what i want is a little respect from you - as your girlfriend.” you spat out, hands clenched to your sides.

sirius turned to look to look at you sideways, before he says his voice in a staged whisper, “i’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. how about we keep this relationship - open?” he says, “i want to have options, and i don’t want to get stuck—“

 “stuck?”

 “—into a relationship that’s too serious, too early. you get it, don’t you sweetheart?” his tone dripping in honey. 

but it all felt like saccharine venom filling your lungs as the blood drain in your face and hands, hearing a couple of people at your back giggle and whisper at the spectacle before them. you felt a sliver of humiliation—one you’ve never thought you’d feel with sirius. you looked at the man in front of you, looking way too proud of himself, and felt a sudden distaste settle in your mouth. willing your eyes to stay clear. your hand losing its strength to clench, now lay limp at your side. breathing in deep, and sighing.

 “sure,” you said lamely. 

you can see sirius’s smile falter a little bit before widening again, and winking at you. “i knew you’d get it.”

without another word, you turned and walked briskly out of the hall. feeling the gazes of hundred students following you walk out. you hadn’t eaten anything at all today, but sleeping hungry, sounds more appetizing than having to sit through the humiliation sirius had happily put you through. 

at the groan of the great hall closing shut, remus wasted no time as he leaned in and whispered harshly. “should you really be acting like this towards your girlfriend?”

sirius looked taken aback first, before looking at his friend with an easy smile plastered on his face. 

“oh moony,” sirius breathed out a haughty laughter, grabbing remus’ shoulder and smiled as if pitying, “this is why i’m the one with a girlfriend, yeah? trust me, i know what i’m doing.”

remus rolled his eyes, already done listening to this nonsense as he pried his hand off of his shoulder with a shrug.

“and what is it that you’re doing exactly?” james asked, hands clasped in front of him, his dinner promptly forgotten.

“you know,” sirius gestures vaguely, “giving them a little taste of good ol’ padfoot and then depriving them of it.”

james frowned, “again, what is it that you’re doing exactly?”

peter looked at him apprehensively, “did you just refer to yourself in third person?”

sirius ignores peter’s quip and continues, “it’s the push and pull trick,”

remus frowned, “and i’m assuming this trick has something to do with being an asshole to your significant other?”

sirius scoffs, “it’s not,”

james looking at sirius, indignant, “it sounds like it is.” sirius psh’ed, waving his hand. clearly, they don’t get it.

peter sighed, “i feel like like i’ll regret asking this but - what is the push and pull trick?” 

 “don’t-“

sirius grinned, “i’m glad you asked,” 

remus roll his eyes already fearing the worst and james not even bother trying to hide the grimace on his face. 

“it’s when you give them a little bit of something like asking them out on date or bringing them flowers. and then you act nonchalant and aloof, like forgetting the date, or the flowers are all limp and dying.”

james gasps horrified at the prospect, “that’s bloody awful!” james slams his hand on the table, flabbergasted. “please tell me you didn’t give her dead flowers!”

sirius just shrugs, and james slumps in his seat. 

peter shakes his head and turns to his food. “i regret asking.”

“that is probably the stupidest thing i have ever heard.” remus sighs, his eyes dead and unamused.

“you are a terrible boyfriend!” james shrieked, looking as if re-evaluating everything he knew.

sirius rolls his eyes, “i am not!” running a hand through his hair, “this is a way to strengthen our relationship!” they don’t know, of course they don’t. but this is for the better.

“that’s assuming you still have a relationship to strengthen,” peter hummed into his cup. 

“if she cares enough, she’ll chase after me.” she has to.

remus rolled his eyes, “and why does she need to chase you?”

“to prove she wants me enough,” she has to.

“want you enough? are you actually insane?” james clicking his tongue, and looking at sirius as he’d wrong his entire lineage. “she doesn’t have to prove anything,”

“james, don’t bother,” remus says, putting a stern hand on james’ tense shoulder. “if sirius wants to play stupid games, let him. it’ll bite him in the arse soon enough.”

it was the next day when james, for once, had decided to heed remus’ advice of not bothering. so now sirius has been subjugated to conversations needing a middle man, as james refuses to associate with him until further notice. 

“are you actually still pissy about last night?” sirius groans, looking over peter’s stout stature over to his petulant friend.

“wormtail, can you please tell sirius i’m not talking to him until he apologizes to his girlfriend.” 

sirius groans louder following his friends in the halls. 

“james said he won’t talk to you because he hates you.” peter relays, deadpanned and muffled by the candies in his mouth. 

sirius grimaces, “i did try! but she wasn’t in the dorms last night.” he had meant to talk to you again, something to just get the image of you deflating and leaving the halls out of his head. he would have apologized and you would have forgiven him, like you always did. but he hadn’t seen you at all since last night. 

“wormtail, can you please tell sirius he didn’t try hard enough and i refuse to be his friend if he treats his girlfriend like shit?”

peter nods and turns to sirius, “james said you look like shit.”

sirius gasps, looking to peter now, “he did not say that—“

“i’m not even sure if he even has a girlfriend anymore really,” remus finally quipped. “as deserved.”

“mate, come on!” sirius laughs exasperated. “i really didn’t want it to be open, i’m going to take it back today and go on our weekly dates like always.”

remus snorts, “ha! like she’ll say yes after your show yesterday.”

sirius frowned, “of course she’ll say yes,”

peter scrunches his face, and shares a look with remus, “how sure are you this push and pull thing is even working,”

“because, we’ve already been dating for weeks and i’ve been doing it since the start.” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

james sputter out sounds of disbelief before speaking harshly, grabbing peter’s shoulder in desperation, “wormtail please tell sirius that he is absolutely mental for ever thinking that treating a lady like that is a good idea.”

 “james said—.”

 “i heard him,” sirius says, waving him off. “this is verified data, alright? this is working.”

remus laughs in that irritating way that he does, when he knows something you don’t. sirius can already hear the bubbling irritation, the urge to say a scathing remark settles on his tongue. but peter looks at something behind sirius, smirking as he points to the courtyard, “isn’t that your open-slash-not-girlfriend with a guy over there?”

the group looks and, sure enough, there you were. your back against a post and a guy’s hand flat beside your head, leaning way too close as the both of you laugh. sirius doesn’t like the way the guy is looking at you. he doesn’t like the way he’s inching closer and closer to you, and he really doesn’t like the way you aren’t doing anything about it. 

“it is working like how i expected it to, huh.” remus hummed, an irritating tone of smugness coating his voice.

sirius ignores the teasing quips and practically sprints to you, eyes blazing in anger and chest beating in jealousy. “hey!” he shouted when he sees you leaning up into the guy.

“hey,” he repeats, trying hard to not pant as he pushes his hair around to look nonchalant, “how are you?” he asks, eyes looking between the two of you.

the guy leaned back from your face, but his hands still remained near your head. sirius wanting nothing more than to cut his hand off and throw it to his face. 

you didn’t bother moving from your spot, regarding him in a dull look. it leaves a bad taste in sirius’ mouth. 

“oh,” you breathed, looking over at him. your face void of all the frowns and obvious anger you would usually have after a fight. which strangely makes it even worse for him. he knows how to deal with your anger, or your irritation but he doesn’t know what to do with your indifference.

“who’s this? a new friend?” he said looking pointedly at the offending hand beside your head and the excessive closeness of your positions. you raised an eyebrow, arms crossing in guarded scepticism, which, okay fair.  but he’ll be damned before he leaves without getting some answers. 

“charlie wilson, nice to meet you mate.” the blond reaching forward and offering his other hand. 

sirius stares at it in great offence, before dragging his gaze to look at you instead. “what are you doing?” he asked, frowning to see any sort of tell, a clue as to what you’re thinking. not even bothering to pretend he cares about the blond’s name, as the offending hand drops and stuffed into his pocket. 

“i’m talking to charlie,” you say his name as if you’re close. as if this person wasn’t a practical stranger in your life. as if it wasn’t a guy you’ve barely interacted before. surely, he would know if you were hanging out with a bastard named charlie.

sirius doesn’t even know what to say. frantically gesturing at the position you’re standing in, the heat of his glare enough to set the cold stone this bitch charlie wilson is still leaning into your space on fire. wilson sensing a tensing shift in the air, slowly removed his hand beside your head and stuffed it into his pocket, too. 

the guy laughs, “look black, i don’t want any trouble.”

“don’t you now?” sirius snapped, turning to glare at the guy still standing way too close. “then what are you still doing here?”

“sirius,” you warned, no longer leaning against the post, and your arms tightly crossed.

wilson, still with an easy-going smile on his face, raises his hands in the air in faux surrender, “okay then,” softly grabbing your hand and squeezing it, “i’ll see you later y/n,” then stepping away. to hell with later, as if sirius’d let him come up to you ever again.

sirius was about to follow him, wand in hand - clutched tightly. he has a few colourful words to express to this bloke charlie. maybe his earlier friendly glances were too subtle, for him to still casually address you like that. but before he could even take a step, you turned to look at him. gaze hard and serious.

“what was that?”

sirius sputtered out words of disbelief and looked at you, his eyes wide as saucers, “what do you mean what was that?”

“you didn’t have to be such an arse towards charlie like that.” again, with his name!

“well, someone’s got to be.” he puffs, “i see you have a bit of qualms telling him off as you were practically humping in the courtyard.”

“excuse me?” you gaped.

he should stop. he should stop and the apologize. take it back and start over, and beg for forgiveness.

“you heard me,” he retorted, arms crossed in defiance, “why didn’t you tell him off?”

“last night, if i remember correctly, you were the one who said you wanted an open relationship.”

he did say that. said it in front of the whole bloody school, too. he might as well have gotten up to the tables to scream it out so everyone could hear. how available he had made you. fuck.

but sirius is nothing but destructively defiant. even if he was wrong, he’d never admit it. “i know.” he sniffs, nose raised to the sky as he crosses his arms too, “i just wanted you to keep the tiniest bit of decency as to not go at it in public. wouldn’t want people calling you a scrubber.”

he saw you deflate again, like last night. your lips tremble just the slightest bit and your eyes take on a new shine of unshed tears. his arms uncrossing, apology already on the tip of his tongue and reaching out to you, but you stepped away. 

“i’ll keep that mind for next time then.”

he should’ve apologized. fuck.

he didn’t know much about charlie wilson, and he kinda wishes it stayed that way. because now he was everywhere. everywhere with you. always seeing you smiling and laughing with him in every bench, at every meal, in every class. how easy and happy you looked. it made him think to the last time he made you smile like that, though it only caused a heavy pit in his stomach when he realized he can’t think of any. too caught up in his head about methods to assure himself of the feelings you felt for him. that he failed to assure you of his.  

there were already a handful of people speculating if you two had broken up. each time sirius hears it, he denies it vehemently. he tries to approach you but you either ignored him or were too preoccupied in a conversation with that prat wilson to even give him a chance to say, hello. 

sirius groans, running a hand through his hair and plopping his head on the table with a thud. the gryffindor common now being the only solace for him from the onslaught of offending visuals of you and your new beau. 

“bit you in the arse real good, yeah?” remus chuckled, popping a candy in his mouth. as he leaned back on chair next to him. 

“it’s what muggles call karma,” peter cheerfully quipped. 

his voice muffled from the table, moaning to himself, “what should i do?”

sirius couldn’t see it but he can feel remus roll his eyes, “how about try not being a complete wanker then?”

peter smiled from the couch, “i would’ve gone for asswipe, as the americans would say.”

“or actually treating her like a human being, not an experiment.” lily stated as she entered the room. james following closely behind, her books clutched in his arms.

sirius mutters silently, “and no actual help was offered. got it.” 

but not silent enough it seems, as james replied, “this is your own fault, anyway. why would we help? i mean, seriously, who in their right mind would even think that what you were doing was going to end good.”

james had started speaking to him again, but only because peter kept adding gruesome details that always included hitting sirius’ bits that made him stop relying on peter to be middleman. but if you asked sirius, he would have preferred james not talking to him at all because now every time they talked it would always lead to a lecture about how bad of a boyfriend he is. which he sort of is (he can admit that now) but he doesn’t need the constant reminder, thank you very much.

“i’m happy for her, she seems to glow lately. i’m guessing without you to stress her out made her even prettier.” james huffed.

“agreed,” lily hummed. 

remus nods enthusiatiscally, “you have to admit, this is the best case scenario.”

“best case?!” whipping his head to look at remus as if he had gone bonkers. “how is this best-case? we barely talk now!”

“oh sorry,” remus sheepishly laughed, before scratching his cheek, “best case for y/n, i mean.”

“and what, you think i’m bad for her or something.”

“well you did treat her like crap.” peter said mouth full of candy.

james nodding in agreement, “not to mention she’s leagues above you.”

sirius gasped, scandalized, “we’re in the same league.”

“are you though?” lily hissed theatrically. “i mean, you’re here miserable and she’s out there dating.”

“she’s not—! of course i’m miserable, how could i even think of dating other people when i have her! i love her,”

lily raised an eyebrow, “then why’d you say you didn’t want to date her?”

“i never said that!”

“right, you said you wanted it to be an open relationship.”

“yes—“

“and then you stood her up,”

“i stood her up before i said-“

“like that makes a difference?” she bemusedly hummed, “you ask her for space, she gives it you and sulk. you ask for an open relationship, she starts talking to other people and you sulk. she just can’t win with you huh?” sirius seemingly sinking into his chair, trying to ignore the onslaught of judgement and scoffs “then why’d say all that in the great hall?”

sirius pauses, “i thought, it’d be good for our relationship—”

she gives him an incredulous look and scoffs, “are you joking? how could you possibly think it’d help with your relationship? you’re just pushing her away! not to mention humiliating - doing it so publicly, why if i was in her shoes i wouldn’t even give you the time of day. forget dating you, i wouldn’t even talk to you. did you even apologize? hm? or were you too caught up in your games to notice?”

he kept quiet seeming to sink deeper and deeper into his seat. a sneer etching itself on lily’s face, “typical,” she spat. “and now you’re putting on woe is me act as if you’re the victim when you’re the exact reason why this is happening in the first place. if you want to be an arsehole then at least have the balls to act like it until the end,”

“but i don’t want to be an arsehole,” he mumbled, hands restless on his lap feeling like a child again, waiting until the sermon stops. 

“what was that?”

“i don’t want to be an arsehole.” he repeated louder.

lily looking triumphant, leans back into james and crossing her arms. “then do something about it, instead of dragging everyone into your mess.”

sirius hadn’t a clue how to even start a conversation with you - feeling like he’d lost all the right to. the shame and guilt and inadequacy settling into his subconscious like a second skin. he doesn’t know what he could possibly say to justify his grievous actions towards you (because it really was a shitty thing he’d done to you - fuck, you won’t ever want to be with him after this), but he suppose he could start by coming clean. 

finding you was easy enough— it was approaching you that proved to be rather difficult. you had a whole set up in place; your yellow blanket spread on the ground, snacks littering your sides and a book in your hand. breathing in deep, his eyes firmly set on your figure, he slowly approaches you. this is probably be the first time in days that he sees you all alone. and sirius isn’t much for signs but he can’t help but think that it must be fate working for his favour.

once he’s close enough, he sees the thing you’ve been reading. he pauses mid-step, almost tripping him. but he steels his nerves and walked on. he had to do this now, or else he might never have the chance to make things right again.

“hey,” he says slowly, low and careful, like he knows anything could set you off— judging by the furrow on your eyebrow, and the frown set on your lips, he knew it wasn’t a far-fetched assumption. 

you look up, the magazine still clutched into your hand. staring up at him, eyes still holding that cold indifferent gaze.

he pauses and then slowly, “am i disturbing you?”

you looked at the all too familiar magazine, and all the annotations to the pages. he was pretty sure you were going to drive him out, maybe even hex him for good measure. he wouldn’t blame you if you did, you had every right to. but then you shook your head no and moved just a tiny bit to give him space. he almost sighs in relief before slowly plopping down. this was the closest he’s been to you for weeks. he wanted to reach out and touch you. maybe even just your robes if he could, but he knows that would be more than he deserves from you. so he settles half in the blanket and half in the grass before slowly asking, “what are you reading there?” 

you flip the magazine close, the cover in plain sight for the both of you, cosmopolitan’s marvellous guide to keep him interested! in bold yellow. “it’s a muggle magazine. somebody lent it to me.”

he gulps, “i see,”

you hum, still looking at the cover. your fringe covering your eyes, “it’s an interesting read - the contents are horrifying but the owner of this even more-so.” you plop the magazine into his lap. the wrinkled pages, a testament to how much the owner has read this thing is obvious. sirius grabs it and opens it to a familiar page. his handwriting scattered around, filled with stars and exclamation points to the things he’s curious to try. 

“i can explain,” he says plainly. feeling his hand lay heavy on the glossy pages and the heat rising to his neck and cheeks. 

you look at him, your eyes carrying indignation now, better than nothing he supposes. “okay then,” you huff, “explain to me why you’ve been using ridiculous magazine tactics to mess with me. is it your idea of a joke? hm? thinking i’m not even worth a decent relationship with you, that you just play me like that? experimenting with bullshit like appearing aloof to capture my attention?” you read into one of the things he’d underlined thrice.

“i know i know, it’s fucked up - but i didn’t do it to mess with you, believe me,” sirius says, running a hand through his hair and sags, “i did it - well, fuck okay, i did it because i didn’t know how to be a boyfriend.”

there it was, the embarrassing truth of it all. he doesn’t really know what the fuck he’s been doing the past weeks. too ashamed to admit his lack of experience in dating that he’d created this façade of easy confidence, reducing him to pathetically consulting magazine articles.

“oh come on,” you scoff, before quickly getting on your knees and reaching all over the blanket to grab all your stuff. “you’d honestly think i’d believe a sorry excuse like that? sirius you’re literally the hottest guy in school—“ sirius really tried not to preen at that, he really did. though his joyous moment of narcissism quickly fades once you stand, arms full, and heart tightening frown on your face. “—everybody wanted to get with you, i had people - people! - that would beg me to break up with you so they’d have a chance. you expect me to believe some bullshit about you being a budding virgin?”

there was a pausing silence when you looked at him, at least he felt you look. sirius refused to look at you, resolutely staring at his lap and willing his cheeks to calm down to its natural pale colour. 

sirius had never gotten with anyone else except for you. his impromptu celibacy was defiance at first, his parents urging him to make connections and meet people at hogwarts. people he can someday marry and produce an heir for the family, naturally he’d rebelled.  refusing to meet with anyone, or even entertain the idea of dating and he’d been successful in this endeavour (though some might say too successful). but then he met you. wonderful you, that broke down his walls and his immature need to defy his parents, like a battering ram and had made him want you. you made him want to be with you, and get to know you and love you, and you were so perfect. you’d always know what to say and what to do, and he’d just wanted to be that with you. but he hadn’t had the guts to ask for any help at the start, because people expected so much from him — expected him to know and he doesn’t. he didn’t want to disappoint you. though now he knows, he still did either way.

“you’re actually—?”

he nods.

you sit down again, things tumbling out of your arms to your lap and across the blanket. 

“why didn’t you say so?” you say quietly. your annoyance simmering away. even when he knows you have every right to run off and curse him out and never talk to him. but you were too nice. thank merlin, you’re too nice because now, you’re sat closer to him. he could almost smell your pleasant perfume. you were too good for him.

“i didn’t want you to think that you’d made a mistake dating me that you could do so much better.”

you flick his tie, “that’s a stupid reason.”

“i know,” sirius sighs, trying to still his twitching fingers from reaching out to you. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

you huff crossing your arms, “i wouldn’t’ve cared, you didn’t have to use cheesy tactics to get me interested because i’m already am,”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

“and i really got upset you wouldn’t talk to me properly,”

“i know, i shouldn’t’ve done that, i’m sorry.”

“treating me like i’m garbage in front of the whole school too, do you know how mortifying that is?”

sirius bit his lip, “i’m sorry, that was - i’m sorry.”

you sag, throwing a pack of crisps into his chest, making him look up at you. “i don’t forgive you.”

sirius looks down, because of course you wouldn’t. it was enough you’d hear me out if anything. “i understand,”

you sigh, “you have to make it up to me first,”

“what?”

you opened a bag of crisps, all the while gesturing to the bag on his lap to open it too. “you could start by spending the entire day with me and telling me everything you’ve learned from this magazine.” throwing a piece into your mouth and giving him a tentative smile.  

sirius can feel the painfully wide grin spreading on his face, eagerly grabbing the pack and popping it open, you really are too nice for him. 

extra:

“how did you even get the magazine?” sirius asks, his arms carrying the folded yellow blanket and the crumpled magazine. 

he was sure he had it hidden in his bedroom drawer - with a strong locking charm too. he can’t think of how this could’ve possibly ended up in your possession.  

you shrugged, “peter gave it to me.”

he didn’t even know peter could pick locks! let alone counter his locking charm. “that traitor.” he grumbles. 

Could you please write a part two with a happy ending to Sirius Blacks first fight? I’m a happy ending girl too and it’s killing me that it ends like that! 😂

sirius black x reader

part 2 to this

very willing to finish this as a happy ending

Its been two weeks since your fight with Sirius. Actually its been two weeks since you last even saw him seeing as two days after the fight everyone was heading home for the holidays.

And now, as you stand in your fire place on new years eve, preparing to use the floo network to get to the Potters for a party, you are panicking.

Two weeks. Two weeks away from Sirius was all it took for you to realize you didn’t want to be away from him, but what he did was wrong, and he never apologized.

So you were panicking, scared that the second you saw his stupid, perfect, flawless face, you’d be apologizing, retracting your previous argument, even when you still stand by what you said.

So with one last deep breath, you throw down the floo powder and speak ‘Potter’s Manor’

Moments after you appear in the Potter boys fireplace, you are pulled from it by an already tipsy James.

“Y/n, you’re here!”

Accepting the uncoordinated hug he’s giving you, you laugh softly at him.

“Yes James, how-”

You’re quickly cut off by a familiar voice,

“Oi, Prongs, who are you over here harassing now”

James quickly, or as quickly as he can with his current state, releases you from his arms and looks at the source of the voice behind you.

You turn to face Sirius, mentally preparing yourself, yet again, to see his stupid flawless face.

Only this time, you’re not greeted by a flawless face. No, there’s actually a flaw, one big one. A big black eye.

Of course you know of Sirius’ home life, but never had you seen him with a bruise like this. His parents always seemed to make sure the abuse the enacted was hidden away.

Apparently you had been staring, mouth slightly agape, at Sirius’ eye for long enough for James to have wandered away, and for Sirius to feel the need to regain your attention.

“Hello? Y/n?”

Blinking harshly a few times to pull yourself out of your trance.

“Hm? Sorry, Hi, Sirius.”

Sirius can’t stop the small smile that forms on his face hearing his name coming from your lips.

“How was your christmas?” He questions you, pulling you even further from the trance your still kind of in.

“It was nice, missed my family. How was yours?”

You felt silly asking him that, obviously it couldn’t have been good. Unless the only thing on his christmas list was a bruised eye.

Sirius’ answer abruptly ripped you out of your thoughts. “It was really good actually,” he pause and smiled softly, not his usual smirk, but a genuine smile that looked like he couldn’t help but do it.

“Spent it here, with the Potters.” He continued, which made your lips part in shock for the second time this evening.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m, uh, actually living here now. But, um, would you mind going upstairs to talk, I have a lot I need to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah, sure-” You start before getting interrupted yet again, this time by Marlene grabbing your arm.

“Y/n! You’re here! C’mon we need to get you a drink.”

With that she pulls you away from Sirius and towards the table that has a spread of various liquids on it.

—

A few hours pass, only around 20 minutes left until midnight, and you’ve still yet to stumble upon Sirius again.

That is until you are stepping out of the bathroom and straight into a hard surface, Sirius’ chest. His arms speedily wrap around your waist, much to fast for someone who was drunk, which leads you to believe he hadn’t drunk which is very unlike him.

He keeps his hands on your waist when he looks down at you, “You okay?”

“Mhm, Sorry Siri” Immediately after the words left your mouth you’re mentally berating yourself for it, the stupid nickname just slipped out.

Sirius doesn’t seem to notice or at least if he did he didn’t show it.

He removes his arms from your body and takes a small step back to give you your personal space.

“Could we maybe talk now? My rooms right there,” He is picking at the skin around his nails as he talks, a nervous habit of his you could recognize anywhere.

You can’t stop yourself from reaching out with your own hand to take one of his, as to stop his picking.

“Sure, Sirius” You give him the warmest smile you can muster up, but you’re 99% sure it was more a nervous smile than anything.

He doesn’t release your hand but instead uses it to guide you a few feet down the hall into his bedroom.

Scanning the room while Sirius shuts the door, you notice that his room is lacking in anything very personal, that is barring 3 things.

The first being a drawing of his star and his brothers that they drew together as kids taped to the wall, the next being a small stuffed lion you had given him in second year when he was upset that Regulus was sorted into a different house.

And the final thing being a set of photos from a muggle photo booth taped up on the wall next to the drawing, they are of the two of you on your third date when you snuck out of school to show Sirius a muggle carnival.

Sirius steps around you to take a seat on the end of his bed and pats the spot next to him for you to sit.

The moment you sit down next to him, he quickly turns to look at you and speak.

“I just wanted to tell you how sorry i am, for everything.”

“Sirius, I-”

“Y/n, please just let me say this,”

You stay silent, and nod to let him know to continue.

“You don’t have to forgive me, but I just felt like you deserve an explanation. I have no idea why I let that girl flirt with me, and I especially don’t know why I did it back. It isn’t fun, I don’t enjoy flirting with anyone but you. No one else scrunches up their nose and blushes when I compliment them like you do. No one else’s entire face turns red and hides in my neck when I kiss their head, not that I’m kissing anyone else’s head, by the way.”

You giggle softly at the was he rushes out the last part and he smiles.

“And that, no one else has a laugh that makes me want to do as many stupid things as I can just to hear it, no matter the consequence. I think I flirted back with her because I was scared, that if i wasn’t the same flirty, confident, ‘I don’t care about anything’ person, no one would like me anymore. But I realized, I really don’t care if they like me, I just want you to like me.”

You let out a shaky breath before speaking, “Sirius,”

“Hold on, I’ve still got more.”

That makes you burst out into a fit of giggles for a minute until you can calm yourself down.

“Okay, okay, continue.”

He’s grinning at you ear to ear when you look back at him when you speak.

“Thank you,” He chuckles

“I’m also sorry that I don’t know how to love you the way you deserve. I know that you deserve better than me, and I planned to leave you alone so you could find that. But after my parents beat the shit out of me a week ago and I had a few minutes to grab some of my stuff and run, the first thing I grabbed were our pictures. I know its selfish, but I love you so much that i can’t help but be selfish when it comes to you, I don’t want you to go find someone else who can love you better, I want you to help me learn how to love you right.”

When he finishes there are tears building up in your eyes, threatening to fall down your cheeks.

A small “Sirius..” is all you manage before the tears to fall and you wrap your arms around his waist and burying your head into his chest.

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He murmurs softly into your ear as he begins to run one of his hands up and down your back, soothingly, and the other through your hair.

“How can you say things like that and not expect me to cry?” You say through sobs, squeezing your arms around him tighter.

“Oh sweetheart,” Is all his says as he continues the movements with his hands until you calm down and pull back from his arms.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that.”

“Please don’t be sorry, all I’ve wanted since I ran away was to hug you.”

That makes you frown a little before you reach out and grab his hand.

“Sirius, I forgive you, and I miss you so so much, I was to harsh when I told you that you weren’t good at loving people. Its not your fault your parents are pricks,”

Sirius laughs fully at that, and squeezes your hand tighter.

“I shouldn’t have handled that situation the way I did. I was acting purely out of jealousy and wasn’t being rational. I’m not saying what you did was okay, but I understand why you did it, and I believe you when you say you won’t again.”

Sirius’ faces grows into a bigger smile the more you speak.

“So what does this mean?” He questions excitedly.

“It means that I want you to be selfish, I want to teach you what it feels to really love, and I especially want to be your girlfriend again.”

Sirius jumps to his feet and pulls you up with him and into his arms to hug you.

“Oh thank Merlin, I think I would have died without you.”

You smile against his neck from the position he has you stuck in.

“There’s my drama queen, oh how I missed you.” You tease and he pulls away from the hug slightly.

“Oh, you-” He starts but cuts himself off when the sound of everyone down stairs counting down from 10 can be heard.

He looks down at you and smiles.

10..

9..

8..

7..

He leans closer to your face, and moves one of his hands to push a lock of hair behind your ear and rests it on you cheek.

4..

3..

2..

You stand up on your toes so that your lips brush lightly against one another’s.

1..

“Happy new years, my love.” Sirius whispers against your lips.

“Happy new years, Siri.” You respond before standing up a little taller to fully press your lips together into a deep passionate kiss.

You break away a few moments later, foreheads resting against one another, heavy breathing matched up, and the yelling cheers of your friends celebrating down stairs.

“I love you, Sirius.”

“I love you, Y/n.”

Theres a sudden crash and the sound of breaking glass down stairs along with someone yelling “James!” that breaks you both out of your lovesick trance.

You both groan, and separate from each other except for your hands which are still clasped together.

You head out into the hall before you speak again.

“Oh and we need to circle back to your parents beating the shit out of you,”

“Shit, I thought I distracted you enough that you’d forget about that.”

“Sirius. What?!”

flinch | s.b.

tw: angst, swearing

hurt to comfort, sirius black x reader

"Why the fuck would you do that? Why would you fucking flirt with her?"

"I wasn't flirting with her, goddamn it! I was being nice!"

"Yeah, being nice meant giving her a kiss goodbye, didn't it?"

"I didn't kiss her! Oh my god, I- I could hit you right now!" Sirius yelled, the last drops of his anger ringing in the silence as you flinch, reflexively bringing your hands up to cover your face. His eyes widen in shock, then understanding. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before slowly stepping towards you.

"You're trembling. Oh my god, you're trembling. I'm so sorry," he murmurs, reaching one hand out towards you, as though you were some rabid animal. You instinctively move away from his touch. "No, I- I'm fine," you choke out, lowering your trembling hands. "I'm okay, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry."

He coos in pity, stepping towards you again, but stopping short when he sees the way you wince. He sighs and drops his hands to his sides. "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I... I took it too far. I'm so sorry, dove." he murmurs, looking at you with concern. Given both yours and his past, living in abusive households had pushed the both of you to make a promise never to yell at each other.

Sirius broke that promise. He broke your trust. The thought of that caused you to let out a sob, and you squish your hand to your mouth to muffle it. Sirius makes a strangled sort of noise in his throat as he reaches out towards you again. "Baby," he breathes out, voice laced with hurt. "Can I hug you?" You hesitate for a moment. Then you nod, and he closes the distance between you.

Sirius gently wraps his arms around you, unsure just how much you want. But when you bury your head in his chest and tighten your hold around him, he squeezes you in a strangling hug. You lean into the embrace gratefully. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to do this,” you sniffle into his chest, your tears wetting his shirt. "Do what, love?" he asks quietly, stroking your hair.

“I feel like I'm guilt-tripping you. I'm sorry. I don't wanna be the girl that flinches." He places a gentle kiss on the top of your head and buries his face in your hair. "I know you don't, baby. Heck, we both don't wanna be that person. But you're not guilt-tripping me. I get it, and I shouldn't have broken our promise. I'm sorry. It happened just this once, never again."

You hum in response, a few more tears slipping down your cheeks as you stay in the tight embrace. "Were you cheating, though?" you mumble, your voice starting to shake with anxiety.

"No," he responds immediately, no hesitation in his words. Sirius clutches you tighter. "I wasn't, and I'm sorry if I made it seem that way. Lily's always been a pal, and that's all she'll ever be. I shouldn't have hugged her like that if it made you uncomfortable."

You feel relief blooming in your chest at his words, and you nod silently, finally pulling away slightly to look at him. You raise your head to meet his eyes, and he smiles softly at you, his eyes full of guilt and love as he presses a kiss between your eyebrows. "There's my beautiful girl," he murmurs, grinning as he rubs his thumbs over your cheeks, his forehead resting on yours. "Now, how about we go get some ice cream? You could have two scoops, on me."

You smile back, and Sirius' eyes light up as though you've personally strung up all the stars in the sky. "Three scoops?" you ask, widening your eyes and pouting in an attempt at a puppy face. He looks you up and down, rolls his eyes and sighs, the hint of a smile on his lips. "Just this once, sweetheart. But you gotta share."

You shake your head and groan in mock defeat, earning a chuckle from him as he helps you put on your sweater and presses a loving kiss to your lips.

pkay! so i was wondering if u could do a jace x reader where after the funeral she takes him and comforts him and looks after him in the bedroom to help him calm down because he had to act strong infront of his family but in the contents of his own chambers he could let himself cry on them!

Another one for Jace because this scene broke us all. This will be the last one about this scene. I have written three versions of different moments, I think all has been said

Warnings: mention of death, grief, panic attack

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

You stood alongside Rhaena and Baela during the funeral. Behind you stood Corlys and Rhaenys, all mourning the loss of Lucerys. 

Along with the remains she found on the shore, the Queen threw in the pyre her son’s clothes. Jacaerys stepped up next and threw the baby swaddle their mother used when he was a baby. And lastly, Jacaerys picked up Joffrey, who threw the horse toy Lucerys had when he was little. It had been handed to him when he grew out of playing with it, but it was still Lucerys’.

Your heart ached at how Joffrey clung to his big brother, who himself had his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill. You wanted to go up to him and hold his hand, but the time was not right. 

When the flames of the pyre finally extinguished, everyone retreated inside. The Queen had withdrawn to her chambers with her youngest sons. Losing one had only intensified her need to keep the others close.

Your eyes searched the hall for the one who was promised to you, but Jacaerys was nowhere in sight. To your left, you noticed Rhaena and Baela, who had just parted from their grandmother. You approached them, and Rhaena, who had lost her betrothed, welcomed you with a brief but heartfelt hug.

‘’Have you seen Jacaerys?’’ you asked them.

Rhaena shook her head, but Baela nodded. ‘’I saw him taking the stairs minutes ago.’’

You thanked her and followed her lead. 

Upstairs, you knew exactly where to go. 

Inside your chamber, you found Jacaerys pacing the room with frantic steps, one of his hands gripping his chest. His breathing was ragged and shallow, and his face contorted with panic. He pulled at his doublet, feeling like it was choking him and stopping air from getting into his lungs. 

You rushed to his side, alarmed. ‘’Jace,’’ you called out, your voice tinged with concern and confusion.

His head snapped in your direction, his face filled with fear and tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He didn’t know what was happening, and neither did you. 

‘’Should I fetch the maester?’’ you asked, your heart clenching with worry.

‘’It... hurts... can't breathe…’’ he managed to gasp, his voice strained with desperation. Sweat beaded his forehead, and his breath came in ragged, uneven gasps, as if the air was somehow refusing to fill his lungs.

Jacaerys pulled at his doublet again. 

You tried to remain calm, knowing that panic would only make the situation worse. You reached out and undid the buttons on the front of his doublet, hoping to loosen the constriction around his chest. But even as the tight fabric released its grip, it didn’t seem to help. His chest continued to heave and shudder, each breath sounding like a painful struggle.

‘’Let’s sit.’’ 

He nodded, his eyes wide with fear as he allowed you to guide him to the settee. With every step, his breathing only seemed to get more and more erratic, each gasp sounding like a strangled sob.

Once he was seated, you knelt in front of him, your hands gently gripping his trembling ones, offering what little comfort you could. His chest continued to rise and fall rapidly, each breath sounding as if it was being wrenched from his lungs. His eyes were fixed on you, panic still evident in his gaze, but there was also a glimpse of vulnerability there, as if he was silently pleading for your help.

It was heart-wrenching to see him in such a state, his normally calm and collected demeanor completely shattered.

You squeezed his hands gently, hoping to offer some small comfort. ‘’Focus on me,’’ you urged him, your voice soft but firm. ‘’Listen to my voice. Try to match your breaths to mine. Inhale.’’ You breathed in deeply, exaggerating each inhalation and exhalation, hoping that Jacaerys would follow your lead. ‘’Exhale. In through your nose, out through your mouth.’’

He tried, his eyes locked onto your face as you breathed in and out. At first, his breaths only seemed to become more shallow and labored, but gradually, they began to match the pace of yours. Each gasped inhalation slowly started to become less frantic and more controlled.

After a moment, he calmed down and you wiped his tears. 

‘’Thank you for helping me. I don’t know how this happened. I…I thought I was going to die.’’

You rose to your feet and wrapped your arms around him. 

He buried his face in your shoulder, still shaking from the intensity of the experience. He wrapped his arms around you, clinging to you tightly, as if holding on for dear life. 

‘’I was so scared,’’ he whispered, his voice still shaky and raw. ‘’I thought I was losing control. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think... It was like everything was closing in on me.’’

You held him tightly, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. His body was warm and solid against yours, his muscles tense with lingering fear.

You hushed gently, kissing his shoulder. ‘’You're okay now. You're safe with me.’’ 

—

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Your Reflection

summary: rq; when the thoughts jacaerys has had his whole life finally can no longer be pushed down he seeks comfort in you

jacaerys targaryen x non targ!reader

w.c: 1.7k

c.w: just a lot of fluff, angst and some minor smut (oral)

perm jace taglist ! (open) @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 1 @jacesvelaryons s @earth4angels @itsemohours @valdezthg

your head whips around at the slam of your room and you stand with wide eyes at the red eyed prince letting out shaky breaths as he swiftly makes his way towards you.

“jace.”

he pulls you into him and falls onto the bed where he lays on top of you, shoving his head into your neck while he lets out weak sobs. “she is being unreasonable” you place your head in his hair while letting out a deep breath. You knew well of his distain for his mothers idea him having ranted for far too long to you about it earlier that same day, to have the low born men and women attempt to claim dragons. bastards.

it was sensitive for him. you knew this far too well. He had gone to try and convince her to change her mind but clearly he had failed and you tried to come up with words that could bring him comfort. “does she not see how foolish this is? to let those people walk amongst us? those those…” he pulls his head away to look at you as he struggles to speak, his face clearly tormented and painful. “they are undeserving. unworthy. they are mongrels and monsters. born out of wedlock believing themselves to be fit for a role they were not made for,”

“are you talking about them or are you talking about yourself?”

he gulps at your words and his eyes well up, “what claim do i have if they claim a dragon? i do not have the hair, the skin, i am a fraud and everyone knows it. I am mere moments away from being stripped of everything i have left.” his head falls onto your chest as his chest heaves up and down with heavy breaths. “i cannot imagine how you feel. the shame you must feel walking down the halls and people staring at you, married to a bastard.”

You grip his face and make him look at you. Hes shocked to see the furry and angry on your face. “i will hear no more of this. you are jacaerys targaryen son of queen rhaenyra taragryen. heir to the iron throne nobody will contest that not. don’t you dare insinuate i am insulted or shamed to be seen with you it is an honor. everyday i wake up blessed to know i married such an honorable and truthful man and i would have it no other way.”

at this point tears are pouring down his face as he shakes his head finding himself refusing to listen to your words. “you could not possibly mean such a thing.” he whines ever so slightly when you bring your lips to his face and kiss the tears off his face, closing his eyes and he refuses to look at you. “i mean it and more. there is no other better man than you. your heritage means nothing to me. should anybody contest that remember you are a targaryen. they shall pay for their contestation with fire and blood.”

he says nothing in return, simply laying his head on your chest while silent tears continue to run down his face. you did not wish to push him to speak, your hands find the back of his head and play with his hair ever so slightly.

“what if they do contest it?” you peer down at him but he continues to stare at the lit fire in your fire pit. “what if after my mother dies they argue and fight and usurp my throne right under me as they have done her? what if there is another war and more people get hurt what if you,,,” His words end up choked up in his throat as he shakes with sobs, you cant help but feel your own eyes begin to water. He’s scared. just a scared young man who doesn’t wish to lose anyone or anything else.

one of your hands soothe his back as you press a kiss to his forehead while your other one cups his face to wipe away his tears. you cannot say anything to console him, knowing this is an issue that runs deeper into his consciousness than you will ever be able to fix by your lonesome. So when you roll him off you he sits up and stares at you in horror as you begin to walk off. his mouth shakily opens to call after you to beg you to stay but his words die on his tongue and he can just let out a meek gasp.

When you arrive back into the room he has his head in his hands while he cries into them. He looks up at you when you place a leather bag next to and tries to catch his breath. His pupils bounce around your face as your hands grab his top and begin to pull it off of him. He allows you, making no move to stop you despite his confusion. “lay on your stomach.” He pauses sniffing as he folds his hands in his lap. When he doesn’t move your cup his face and press a light kiss against his furrowed brows.

He silently pulls away and rolls to lay on his back as you had asked. He has no clue what you’re doing and almost turns to ask you after theres been no movement or talking from you for a bit until he feels you straddle his back and your hands begin to run through his hair. He can smell the oil on your fingers as you delicately run them throughout his curls. He lets out a pleased hum as your nails scratch into his head.

he does not say anything simply allowing you to shower him in affections he normally does not allow you to. cooing at him and pecking all over his back and head. As you move down to massage his neck and back he finds himself overwhelmed with the display of affection and love you’re showering him with he has no clue what to do or say.

Hes even more so embarrassed when you flip him around and he’s hard as a rock. Hes not even feeling sexual in that moment but he’s body is flighting against him. He whines slightly and wishes he could explain himself but he cant. You dont seem to mind. simply dripping more oil onto his skin and working your hands to ease his tension.

He closes his eyes and tries to will it away while you continue to press kisses onto his chest and stomach but if anything it only gets worse at your pure display of love. He hopes he is not ruining this just as he ruins everything. He has never felt so loved in his life he has never felt so at peace since before the war he wants to live in this feeling forever.

His eyes shoot open when you tug his pants down his legs leaving him completely bare and he looks at you alarmed. You say nothing however simply eyeing him as you kiss around his thighs and massage the parts your lips are not. He is breathless as he watches you. When you suddenly stop your movements and look at him he does not know what to do. “i,, shouldn’t i,,, you should,,” The look you have on your face as him stumbling and stuttering over his words. He’s never like this. He would never allow you to do this to him normally. He would insist he get you off first or even outright forbid you to even do something like this more content with pleasing you.

Yet he cant help but be greedy today, the self centered part of him wins and he finds himself nodding to you. He will regret this later he knows he will but when you peck light kissing along his throbbing cock he throws his head back with a moan without a care in the world. His hands grip at the sheets under him when you tongue at his slit slurping up some of his precum before wrapping your lips fully around him.

He understands why some men who are less honorable as he seek out these pleasures often and he almost wishes he allowed you do to this more often. When your hands come to cup and play with his balls his legs shake and he whimpers. He swears he’s going to rip the bedsheets the way he’s gripping at them. His face burns slightly in humiliation and more so in pleasure. sweat drips down the sides of his forehead into his newly oiled hair as he hips uncontrollable thrust up into your mouth where he spews out and apology but you simply hum around him sending another shiver up his spine.

his whole body is shaking with pleasure. He had already been sensitive and relaxed from your overwhelming intimacy he can barely control himself now. he finds himself chanting your name mixed and mumbled with i love you’s. He releases unexpectedly after some louder groans and moans and his eyes well up again as he watches you swallow it down. “im sorry im sorry.” even when he does allow you to do this he never lets himself release in your mouth fearing it may be too much for you and usually just allows himself to spend on your chest.

You climb up to him and press a loving kiss against his lips. He does not mind he can taste himself on your lips as he presses his lips firmly back against yours. The action speaking louder than any words could. He insist he should do something for you in return but the way his eyes droop and struggle to stay open you know he is mere moments from falling asleep. You smile at him and peck his cheek as you shake your head at him. He tries to argue with falters under your comforting hands and sweet nothings into his ear.

He settles with a faint smile on his face the first one you’ve seen on him in many moons. when you rub your hands on his chest he falls asleep at the comfort but not being letting another i love you slip through his lips. His smile grows when he hears you return it before drifting off to sleep where he knows he’ll meet you there too

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you make eddie strong in his weakest moment // aka a quick fix it fic for that rotten ass finale (part 2 here!)

You could see it happen, just meters away from you. Just far enough that you couldn’t do anything but scream his name as you watched him get swarmed by the bats. Even though your limbs were heavy with exhaustion and your legs protested, you ran to him, using your modified trash can lid as a shield and spearing the fuckers away. You couldn’t focus on anything but Eddie, lying prone on the ground, and you swung your arm and stabbed a bat right through the heart. 

The bats dissipated, and you were left alone with Eddie. Even though you felt like absolute shit, you knew that he was in worse shape, gashes on his sides and throat. You instantly abandoned your weapons and knelt down beside him, and you pulled his head into your lap. “Munson?” you whispered, and his eyes flickered as he looked at you. He was not doing too good. “Hey, there’s my guy. We’re gonna get you help, okay?” 

“No,” Eddie mumbled, his voice gurgling a bit. “I can’t—” 

“Yes, you can,” you told him. “We’re gonna stand up and go back to the trailer, and we’re gonna get you help. You don’t have a choice, Ed.” You tried to control the shaking in your voice, because it was obvious to anyone that Eddie was in bad shape. But, if you got to the trailer, you could send Dustin to get help, and everything would be okay. 

“I can't,” Eddie insisted, his eyes wide. “I’m done for.” 

“Like hell you are!” you exclaimed. “I-I, Eddie, there are people that need you! Dustin needs you, Max needs you, I need you! Y-You can’t just go and give up when there are people who need you! I know it hurts, Ed, I know it does, but you have got to hang in there. Okay?” 

Eddie shook his head, and you chewed your lip. He was right, and you knew it; he couldn’t make it to the trailer, and you weren;t nearly strong enough to carry him. He was going to bleed out and die right here in the Upside Down. You tried to think of something, anything, to do, and you nearly missed Eddie reaching up towards you. He tucked a little bit of hair behind your ear, almost a loving gesture, and he mumbled, “I’ve always loved you.” 

“Oh, whatever,” you sniffled. You couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. “Deathbed confessions…” 

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “Since the first day I met you, I knew I was going to marry you. I could just feel it.” 

“Really?” you whimpered out. You held him close, smoothing back his hair, and you watched as Eddie nodded again. 

“Really,” Eddie replied, blinking slowly. 

“W-Well, why didn’t you ever tell me?” you asked. The more you touched him, the more your clothes stained with his warm blood, but you didn’t care. You just had to keep him talking until Dustin came for you. When Dustin showed up he would be able to help you limp Eddie back to the trailer, and everything would be fixed. You knew it wasn’t that simple, but your plan needed to be simple to avoid your head exploding. 

“I was scared,” Eddie told you. His hands shook as he gathered up yours, holding you tightly, and he shook his head. “But I’m not scared anymore. I love you.”

“Jesus,” you uttered. “Eddie—”

“Don’t say it back if you don’t have to,” Eddie told you quickly. “I-I don’t want to hear you say it unless you mean it.” 

“I love you,” you whispered to him. Your chest heaved with a heavy breath, and you watched Eddie’s do the same. That was the deepest breath he had taken since you had had him in your arms, and, as you examined him again, you saw that the trickle of blood from his neck had nearly fully stopped. Did you…? There was no way. Did talking about you make Eddie grow more resilient? Did you make Eddie stronger?

“Glad to hear it,” Eddie said, and your heart lifted. He was trying to be funny. He was trying to be funny for you. 

“Um,” you started, wiping the tears hastily from your cheeks. “Y-You said you wanted to marry me?” 

Eddie nodded. “Not one of those big, embarrassing weddings,” he told you. His voice cracked and broke, but he was talking, and that was enough. Keep him talking until Dustin came to your aid, that was the plan. “I always imagined that you wouldn’t want a real wedding, just something small… Am I right?” 

You nodded. “I hate weddings,” you admitted, and Eddie chuckled weakly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “I figured.” 

“Tell me more,” you told him quickly. “Tell me a-about, like, how did you know?”

“Sometimes you just know things,” Eddie said, and he paused to cough. Blood stained his lips as he coughed, but you could see color returning to his cheeks. He was going to be alright, you could feel it. “I saw you, and Gareth said something about you being new, a senior and all... You smiled at me, and I fell head over heels. I just knew.” 

Now, your tears were for a different reason. You actually remembered the moment well, the first time you met Eddie. You had been roaming the lunchroom on your first day at Hawkins High, and you had already felt like an outcast, starting a new school as a senior, and then you saw the badass devil illustration on a boy’s shirt. You had looked up from the shirt to see the face, and those moonish brown eyes were already looking at you, and you had given him a friendly smile. Eddie had then come over and introduced himself, said some line about “You look lost”, and offered to let you sit at his table with him and his friends. And the rest was history. 

Since then, you had lost count of the amount of times that you went over to Eddie’s trailer to watch a movie, to help study, to paint D&D figurines. Eddie was your best friend and you were his, and suddenly his pining made sense. He would let you borrow his clothes when you slept over, he always saved the last bite of his lunch for you (the man made a mean ham sandwich, what could you say?), and he held doors for you and offered you his hand to stand up and sit down. At the time, you thought it was him being a good friend and a gentleman, but it was so much more. He loved you. 

“Eddie,” you said softly. You didn’t know exactly what to say, so you let your words fail you. Instead, you leaned down and softly kissed his bloody lips, not caring about the mess. To your delight, Eddie lifted his hand up and lightly touched your face as he kissed back, and you felt your stomach flip. He was going to be okay. 

“Is this a pity kiss?” Eddie asked, his lips still against yours. “Like, ‘you’re dying. Let me kiss you goodbye’?”

“Does it feel like one?” you asked, lifting your face from his. “How do you feel?” 

“Not great,” Eddie admitted. “Everything hurts… Bastard bats. Those fuckers aren’t metal at all.” 

Finally, you laughed, and you saw Eddie smile. Everything was okay. Eddie was cracking jokes, getting stronger by the second. You quickly called out for Dustin— “Dustin! Come here, I need help!”— but you turned your attention back to Eddie without missing a beat. “Maybe marriage is rushing it,” you told him, and Eddie nodded in agreement. “I say we both have to graduate first—”

“Not that far away,” Eddie told you, and you jokingly rolled your eyes. 

“We should probably date for a while first too,” you added, and Eddie nodded again. “But, sure, Munson. I’ll marry you.” 

“Sick,” Eddie said, and he coughed again. “Here comes Henderson.”

“See?” you told him, sniffling away your tears. “Everything is alright.” 

"Why did I ever doubt you?"

all of the girls you loved before- e.m

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: the one where eddie runs into his first love, leaving you to question your relationship in the aftermath. loosely based on the taylor swift song with the same title.

Warnings: angst, crying, jealousy, insecurity, eddie being rude unintentionally, cursing, pda (gross), eddie and reader are a few years out of high school, fluff, happy ending

Word Count: 4.8k

Request?: No

A/N: hello again everyone, its been a minute! since i’ve been gone, i’ve entered my swiftie era (not like crazy obsessed but def a fan of the music) and this gem of a song dropped and plucked some inspiration from me, so here is a new one shot for you all! enjoy! -sava

The haze within the hot open room of the Hideout was starting to dissipate, the crowd exiting the venue one by one as the band you’ve been cheering on from your spot at the bar begins clearing the stage of their equipment. The ringing in your ears has yet to go away, getting so lost in the metal music that you didn’t care if it would bite you in the ass at work tomorrow, you’d find a way to take customers orders at the diner, even if they had to scream in order for you to understand. 

You found yourself sitting at the same spot at the Hideout every Tuesday night to cheer your boyfriend and his band members on. Within the years since graduating high school, the town you called home started coming around to the type of music your boyfriend played, despite ridiculing him for years prior to their own revelations. With the new popularity, Tuesday nights at the Hideout have gone from 5 drunks sitting in the back to almost a packed house every week, begging for encores and autographs at the end of each show. It made you happy seeing your boyfriend celebrated in such a way, having been there for him in his lowest points when the tables were turned. Now you bask in his glory like never before, cheering him on alongside the rest of the town.

Paying your tab, you begin walking towards the back stage area when you see a tall lanky man with long luscious curls make his way over to you, his smile wide as his signature dimples poked into the sides of his cheeks. He extends his arms wide, not caring if he gets in anyones way as he greets you. Taking off in a run, you launch yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he catches you, hands making contact with your ass in a not-so-subtle way. You pull away and look at him momentarily before pressing your lips to his.

You take in his scent as your mouths move together as one, the sweaty smell that was no match for masking with his cheap cologne filling your nostrils, but you didn’t mind one bit. You part away from his lips, looking at the deep chocolate irises that you love seeing on a daily basis before running a hand through his sweaty mop of curls. He sets you down and plays with his bangs, moving them to the side as they desperately try to cling to his damp forehead.

“You guys killed it tonight,” you tell him, pulling him in for another hug. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his side and twisting his upper body and leaning down to press a kiss to your hair before flashing a closed mouth smile at you.

“Couldn’t have done it without my number one fan,” he says, cupping your cheek with his large calloused hand and placing yet another kiss to your body, this time directed at your forehead.

“So I was thinking that maybe tonight we go back to my apartment and watch some movies? I know we usually go bother my coworkers at the diner after your show but I kind of just want some you and me time,” you tell him with a smile.

“That sounds even better than going to the diner. I bet you’ve already picked out a selection of movies.” “You know me so well. I rented Halloween, Nightmare on Elm St-“

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?” a feminine voice calls out from behind you. You and Eddie turn around, watching a slim figure approach you with a bashful look plastered on her face. As she got closer, you noticed she was wearing a short black leather skirt and a bright pink top, barely leaving anything to the imagination with the amount of cleavage she was showing. Her hair was long and straight, looking silky to the touch as her skin glowed under the colorful stage lights that were still on. Who the hell is this, and how did she know Eddie?

Eddie squints his eyes as she approaches the two of you, his face relaxing and the smile growing wider than you’ve ever seen it when he finally makes out her features. You won’t deny the twinge you feel in your chest as you watch him drop your hand and give the mysterious woman a big embrace, bigger than the one he gave you moments ago.

“Holy shit! How are you? I haven’t seen you in forever,” Eddie exclaims, breaking away and tucking his hands under his armpits.

“M’good! Just finished up college not too long ago so I came back to Hawkins while I search for something a little more permanent,” she tells him, her timid demeanor going out the window as you watch the two grow comfortable with one another. “I see things at the Hideout have changed since we went to high school not too long ago.”

“Yeah, they sure have,” Eddie chuckles, kicking one of his feet out as he looks down. “Looks like the people in this shit town have finally come around when it comes to listening to good music.”

As you watch the interactions from person to person unfold in front of you, you feel the familiar tickle in your nose begin, hoping and praying that you won’t be noticeable if you aren’t able to get rid of the impending sneeze.

“Achoo!” You exclaim, bending down and hiding your nose in the crook of your elbow, silently yelling at yourself when you watch both pairs of eyes land on you.

“Bless you,” the mystery woman says with a smile. You nod, taking a step forward to try and join in on the conversation.

“Thank you,” you tell her, extending your hand. “I’m Y/N by the way, Eddie’s girlfriend.”

You watch Eddie nod as she takes your hand, shaking it firmly. “I’m Heather.”

Suddenly you feel your brain catching up with the rest of the world, clicking into place once the name leaves her mouth. This was the Heather you’d heard so much about from Eddie’s friends. The same Heather that just so happened to be his first love, capturing his heart in ways you wish you could’ve done yourself. If only you’d moved to Hawkins earlier in your high school career compared to your senior year, a.k.a Eddie’s second attempt at being a senior. 

The members of the Hellfire Club gave you all the details that you needed to know about Heather: that she was Eddie’s first everything. First date, first love, first time, and eventually, his first heartbreak. The two were smitten with one another when no one else wanted to look Eddie’s way, with all the judgy classmates questioning why they were together in the first place. They didn’t see Eddie for who he truly was, they only ever judged him based on his outer appearance. The same goes for Heather: everyone always questioned why someone as hot as her would settle for someone like Eddie, which always made you upset to hear.

“It’s really nice to meet you Heather. I’ve heard a lot about you,” you tell her, trying your best to sound as sincere as possible. Eddie shoots you a look, silently telling you to stop, which makes your heart drop a bit. Adverting your eyes from him, you look back at Heather, who didn’t miss the interaction. 

“All good things I hope,” she jokes.

“Are you kidding? Of course all good things. I can only hope you extended the same courtesy for me, if you did tell your college friends about me,” he says, rushing the last part out. Was he getting nervous?

“I can assure you that I did. Even after the way things ended…” she says, looking down to the ground as her sentence trails off. You can sense the tension in the air, feeling as if you’re causing the vibe of the conversation to shift a bit. Masking your feelings with a smile, you turn to them and excuse yourself, lying about needing to use the restroom before heading out for the night. Holding the curtain to the side, you enter the backstage area and round a counter towards an empty hallway you know nobody ever comes down after the shows, as you and Eddie have had your share of moments in this very spot, both PG and R rated moments.

As the secluded feeling sinks in, you feel the confidence and happiness that filled your body just moments ago begin to evaporate, vanishing into thin air as you replay the last few minutes in your head. His big smile when he saw her, the big and warm embrace, the look he gave you when you nudged your way into the conversation. It made you want to shrink into yourself. Jealousy was never something you were known for having, usually being more focused on the moment at hand and knowing the security you had with the relationships you had with the people around you.

But the history between Eddie and Heather changed that.

When you first heard about Heather, you didn’t pay much attention to it because you knew that was his past. He told you numerous times that he loves you and loves being with you, and it made you confident in the strength of your relationship. But knowing how strong those feelings he had for Heather and seeing her interact with him in real time, it changed things. He was a different man from the one he was in high school, having graduated and making a name for himself with the music he loves performing. And now that Heather is back in Hawkins for a while, it makes you wonder what could happen between the two of them. 

Would they be able to reconcile? It didn’t look like there were any harsh feelings anymore, so maybe making up was still an option for them. What if Eddie wanted to revisit his past and be with the girl he loved before you came into his life? Was the love he had for her stronger than the love he has for you?

You could feel yourself being to spiral, your arms wrapping around your body and hugging on tight. Your breathing was starting to become jagged and unsteady, trying your best to take deep breaths slowly to get yourself to calm down. Thinking the worst was always such an easy solution for you, because preparing for the worst and not being shocked by the disappointment that lies ahead was better than being blind to the impending doom.

Once you feel yourself becoming calmer, you exit the hallway and walk towards the curtain once again, hesitating and stopping in your tracks. Peeking your head out, you can see the two of them still talking, Eddie throwing his head back in laughter as the two share a funny moment with one another, making your heartache grow. Retreating back behind the curtain, you turn and see Gareth walking your way, a smug look on his face before contorting into a welcoming smile.

“Hey Y/N! Glad to see you made it out tonight, even though I know you’re in the audience every Tuesday,” he says, wrapping his arms around you. You give him a quick hug, pulling away and failing to mask the hurt as you see his demeanor change. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, everything is fine…it’s just, Heather is here tonight. She came up to Eddie and I and started talking with him and catching up-“

“Wait, Heather Heather?” Gareth asks before poking his head out of the curtain. “Holy shit! I had no idea she was back in town. Still looks as hot as ever.”

Pretending to ignore that, you let out a sigh and tap him on the shoulder. Gareth turns to you, lifting a brow.

“Can you make out what her and Eddie are talking about? I think I sort of killed their vibe earlier and now it looks like things are picking up now that I’m not there.”

“Yeah, hang on one second,” he tells you before disappearing behind the curtain. As much as you appreciate Gareth helping, you were more scared to know how the conversation is going. With all the possibilities that were swirling around in your head, it was just getting fogged up with negativity that you were not expecting this evening and you hated going to such a low place.

A moment later, Gareth pops back from the other side of the curtain with a neutral expression, which worries you more than it should. You raise your eyebrows at him, bracing yourself for whatever news that he was about to deliver.

“So I used the gig as an excuse to talk with them and told Eddie that we were almost done loading the equipment up, which is true, and he said he’d be back here in a minute. But as I was walking away, I heard Heather mention how they should catch up another time over coffee and when I looked back, she was writing her number down on a napkin for him,” he explains.

Somehow the news hurts you more than you imagined it would. With their plans on the horizon sometime soon, it made the insecurities rise once again. You knew how special someone’s first love could be because Eddie was that for you. Before moving to Hawkins, you had your fair share of dating but none that meant much to you compared to the feelings your harbor for Eddie. Knowing that he already experienced that with someone else didn’t bother you until that person had to show up right there in front of you. A majority of these worries and doubts reside in your head, you’re aware of that, but it almost feels as if there is going to be a choice he is going to make, and it isn’t looking good for your side.

You can feel the tears beginning to well in your eyes, unable to hide the frown that resides on your lips as you process what Gareth told you. Looking at him, you flash him a sad smile before wiping away at your bottom lash line, a half-baked attempt to get rid of the tears. He rests a hand on your shoulder, ducking his head down to try and make eye contact with you. 

“Hey, don’t get sad, okay? Heather is just Eddie’s past, but you’re his present and his future. You don’t have anything to worry about,” he tries to reassure you.

“Yeah, you might be right,” you tell him before meeting his gaze and making eye contact. “But you didn’t see the way he looked at her. The way he smiled at her, the way he held her. On top of that, the way he looked at me when I talked to her. I’m worried that I actually do have something to worry about,” you explain.

Now it was Gareth’s turn to frown, breaking the eye contact and staring at the floor below. He should know better than anyone how Eddie felt about Heather all those years ago and it doesn’t just go away overnight. 

“I think I should go. I’m going to sneak around the other way…will-will you tell Eddie I wasn’t feeling good or something? If you can think of a good excuse, just use it, because my brain is fogged up right now and I can’t think of any,” you ask. Gareth nods, sending a sad smile your way before you disappear behind more curtains as you make your way around the stage to exit through the front doors unnoticed.

—————————————————————————————————————

It’s been three days since you’ve last seen Eddie.

Clocking out of your shift at the diner, you sigh as you realize its your usual date night with Eddie, yet haven’t heard a word from him since the awkward encounter with his ex at the Hideout. To say the silence has hurt you would be an understatement, as you wait by the phone any chance you’re home hoping he will call. He always makes it a point to call you at the end of each day when he knows you both are already off work, catching up on each others days and talking for hours before falling asleep.

Now you’re going home alone for the fourth night in a row, wasting away as you prepare yourself for when Eddie does eventually call you to break things off, telling you he wants to try things with Heather again while she is in town and rekindle the blissful and naive love they once held in their hearts for one another.

Tossing your jacket on the back of one of the chairs at your kitchen table, you let out a sigh as you begin making your way to your bedroom and undressing your uniform. Quickly, you change into a comfortable band t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts, tossing your dirty uniform in your laundry basket before going back to the kitchen. Opening your fridge, you spot the bottle of wine you have been eyeing every day after work this week. The delicious red teasing you and wanting you to indulge in the sweet liquid to cope with the impending end of your relationship.

“Fuck it,” you mutter to yourself, before grasping the bottle and twisting the cap open. Opening the cabinet above, you grab the first wine glass you see and take it out, pouring the wine in until it gets close the the rim. You take hold of the glass and make your way over to your couch, bringing the glass to your lips and letting the wine travel down your throat with ease. 

Before you’re able to bask in the taste, you hear your doorbell ring throughout your apartment. With a puzzled expression, you set the glass of wine down on your coffee table and make your way back to the front door, sliding the peep hold cover to the side to get a look at just who could be outside. Rolling your eyes, you take a deep breath before opening the door, standing face to face with the man who owns your heart. At least, for the next few minutes.

“Hey sweetheart,” he says with a smile.

“What are you doing here?” You ask straight out of the gate. 

“Good to see you too,” he says, raising his eyebrows and looking down at the pizza box resting in his hands for a moment. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do for date night tonight, so I just took it as an opportunity to plan an evening of pizza, movies, and indulging in the new weed I got from Rick yesterday.”

“I just thought we weren’t going to do date night this week since I hadn’t heard from you,” you say.

“Sorry sweetheart, that is my bad.” He tells you as he makes his way inside your apartment. He sets the pizza on the kitchen table and opens the fridge and pulls a beer out. “I’ve been extremely busy this week with work, band practice, and…uh, well…”

“Heather?” You question, closing the door and resting your back against it as you bring your arms to cross in front of your chest. He stills for a moment, frozen in place as silence falls over the apartment unit. Turning to you, he raises his eyebrows while biting his lip, his physical look of guilt showing front and center. Trying your best to remain stoic, you quirk a brow at him, keeping your position at the door as you wait for an explanation. 

“How, uh…how’d you know about that?” He finally asks after several minutes of silence.

“Gareth told me before I left on Tuesday. Said he overheard her giving you her number,” you answer plainly.

Another beat of silence falls throughout the room. Eddie’s attention is on the floor below him, kicking his feet as he digs his hands into the pockets of his black jeans and forgetting about the beer he was excited about enjoying. You find your eyes diverting to the ground as well, finding it hard to look over at your favorite metalhead. Mentally preparing yourself for the ache to grow, you finally let out a deep sigh, your hand coming up to rub at your forehead before you work up the courage to look at him again.

“Look, if you came all this way to let me down gently with pizza and weed, you can just save yourself the trouble. I’ve already spent the past few days preparing for this, so lets just call it what it is and go on about our lives, okay?” You muster out, feeling your throat close up and voice waver towards the end. You shut your mouth, turning your head as you feel your bottom lip begin to quiver. Opening the door, you step to the side and remain silent, not trusting yourself to speak anymore. You can’t breakdown in front of him, not when he’s choosing another girl over you.

You hear his heavy footsteps grow closer to you, stopping right before your figure. Your eyes are planted to the floor, seeing his stark white Reeboks enter your vision before leaving once again. Suddenly, you feel his hand lay on top of the one holding the handle to the front door, guiding it to a close and stepping to the side.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” he reveals.

You whip your neck in the direction he moved to, seeing the sad expression on his face as his big brown cow eyes look into yours. Part of you was hesitant to question him about it, not wanting his mind to change in a matter of seconds and leave you in a puddle of sadness afterall. But the more logical part of your brain wanted answers. Why did he not bother calling you for days but thought it was okay to hang out with his ex? Why didn’t he confess earlier about seeing her around? Why was he acting so strange at the Hideout, and why didn’t he want you talking to her?

“What?”

“I said I’m not breaking up with you, sweetheart. Why was that even a thought that popped into your head?” He asks, his voice level and sweet. He takes a step closer to you, filling the small gap that had separated you moments ago before slowly extending an arm out to you, cupping your cheek in his hand and rubbing the pad of his thumb across the soft skin.

“I don’t know…” you finally answer, the lack of confidence in your voice giving you away as your sentence trails off.

“C’mon, I know you had to think that somehow. I won’t be mad or anything, I promise. Just want my sweet girl to talk to me.” You take the beat of silence to think about to how explain it to him without coming across as a jealous and needy girlfriend. You can do this, you think to yourself.

“It’s just-I know how you felt during that relationship and how deep the feelings were thanks to Gareth and Jeff, a-and the way you were talking to her and looking at her at the Hideout on Tuesday made it look like no time had passed and that the feelings were still there. I mean, she gave you her number Eds! A-and you just said you hung out with her!” You exclaim, breaking out of his grasp and retreating towards the living room. You run a hand down your face, sighing as you try to level your heavy breathing. 

“Okay, when you put it like that…yeah it sounds bad,” you hear him say from the kitchen. You sit on the couch, taking a large sip of the wine you abandoned earlier. Eddie turns around and stalks over to you, sitting on the chair opposite of you, not wanting to get too close again after the failed attempt. “But baby, I promise nothing happened with Heather and I, okay? We went over to Rick’s last night after grabbing coffee and smoked. Nothing more.”

“I just wish you told me about it,” you let out, feeling deflated from the way you were reacting.

“I know baby, and I’m sorry I didn’t. Work had been busy and when I was going to call you after I woke up yesterday, Heather called and asked to hang out at the coffee shop. I should’ve used the payphone outside the place or hell, called you before I left my place. If I could go back and do so I would.”

You flash him a half-hearted smile, looking back towards your wine glass before picking it up once again. Bringing it to your lips, you take another big sip, beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol move throughout your limbs and send a tingling feeling in them. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Eddie slide over onto the couch, still leaving room between the two of you as he leans his arms on his knees, hanging his head down a bit and letting his long mane of curls move forward with him.

“You want to know what we talked about yesterday? Over coffee?” He asks, quirking a brow your way as he shifts a bit from his position.

“Hmm?”

“We caught up, I asked her about college, she told me all kinds of stories. Even told me the story of how she met her fiancé, who moved in with her when she came back to Hawkins. They’re getting married in November, a few weeks before Thanksgiving which I thought was nice. Then I talked to her about you, and how we’ve been dating since the winter of ’84 and been inseparable since then. I must’ve been smiling really hard or something because she pointed out how happy I looked when I talk about you, which is true,” he chuckles out, a silly grin creeping onto his features.

Now it was your turn to smile, unable to hide the warm and fuzzy feeling that made its way into your chest at hearing the words. You set the wine glass back down, shifting on the couch so you were facing his direction, legs crossed as you leaned over to take his hand in yours. “Really?”

“Oh of course baby. Look, what I had with Heather all those years ago was great, and I appreciate the time I had with her then. But loving her taught me how to be better and show the person I was really meant for all the more love and affection that they deserve. You,” he boops your nose, making a giggle escape past your lips. “-you are the one I love now and will love until I take my last breath okay? All the shit I’ve been through was worth it because it brought you to me when you moved here, and I am so fucking happy about that. Wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

You can’t help but feel the burning sensation behind your eyes at Eddie’s sweet words. Sure, you still felt like a bit of a fool for acting like a jealous girlfriend, but hearing Eddie shut down all your worries and reassure you about his feelings for you in the nicest way you could’ve imagined warmed your heart. You move your hand to the back of his neck, pulling him towards you and closing the distance between you as your lips meet his. His hand instinctively goes to your hip, holding you closer as his mouth moves against yours in fever.

Eventually pulling away, you lean your forehead against his, giggling to yourself as you feel his bangs tickle the sensitive skin of your cheeks. You look at his big brown eyes, seeing the soft look he was giving you and melting all over again.

“Sorry for acting like a jealous girlfriend babe. Not the prettiest look for me if I’m being honest,” you joke.

“Hey, if the roles were reversed, I would totally act the way you did, so I get it. But now you know that you don’t ever have to worry about anyone else, because like I said, you’re it for me baby. I love you.”

“I love you more,” you say, pressing your lips to his cheek. He shoots you a grin, breaking contact with your forehead and rubbing slow circles into the fabric of your leggings. 

“How about I warm up that pizza I brought over and we pop in one of those movies I rented? You probably need some food after all that wine you drank,” he says, making you laugh. Nodding, you agree.

“That sounds like the best idea you’ve had.”

Nothing New

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Yours and Eddie’s friendship was fine. And you were fine with just being that. But then the new girl came along. (Angst with a happy ending)

Word Count: 4051

Eddie Masterlist

You’ve been best friends with Eddie Munson ever since your freshman year and you joined Hellfire with Jeff. It had been an almost instant connection with the at the time junior. He likes to joke that he’s failed senior year so many times just so he can graduate with you. And with how well he’s doing in his classes this time around it’s getting harder to tell that it’s a joke. Him and the guys were really the only friends you had, though you’re partially convinced that that’s just because you were in their club and as soon as you all graduated you’d only ever see them when you see Corroded Coffin play or Eddie drags you to a practice.

You knew Eddie was actually a friendship that would last. From the moment you told him you liked whatever band shirt he had on all those years ago he latched onto you. He was constantly making the plans for the two of you to hang out one on one and telling you when each of the bands’ shows were as soon as they booked one. He went out of his way all the time to weasel his way into your life and you couldn’t be happier about it. He was the first genuine friend you’ve ever had besides Robin who’s basically a sister to you.

Keep reading

Hard to Love

SUMMARY: Seeing Eddie with the beautifully perfect Chrissy was weighing on your insecure heart. Eddie notices and calls you over.

GENRE: angst, fluff (good ending)

WARNINGS: insecure fem!reader

You watched intently from across the hall as Eddie closely listened to whatever Chrissy was saying. He had his arm leaned up against the locker next to hers, the look in his eye was very telling.

Chrissy looked perfect as always. She never seemed to have a bad hair day, or bad clothes day or bad.. face day. She looked too good in that little cheer outfit and you were sure Eddie thought the same.

They were such a cliche.

God, why couldn't you be like her? Be so dainty and cute like she was. You'd only ever be 'one of the guys' to Eddie, you were sure of it. There was honestly no point in pining after him anymore, he obviously had his eye on someone else this entire time. Someone much, much prettier than you ever could be.

You arrived at his door cold and shivering, hair damp and clothes soaked.

You arrived at his door cold and shivering, hair damp and clothes soaked.

You arrived at his door cold and shivering, hair damp and clothes soaked.

"What the- did you bike here?" He looks confused as he ushers your inside, taking your coat off for you.

"My mom has my car and you said it was an emergency." He stares at you with guilt and worry in his eyes, feeling terrible for making you bike in the rain.

"You need to take a hot shower or you'll catch a cold- if you haven't already."

"What's the emergency? Doesn't seem very pressing." You ask on the way to his bathroom.

"It's not urgent. Just- take a shower, love." He said before speeding to his room to grab you a shirt and some pants to change into.

It felt weird, getting undressed in Eddie's bathroom, smelling his shampoo and staring into the same wall he did when he was- that's not important. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, feeling fed up with the feelings that bubble up every time you are around him.

You entered the room, Eddie's eyes widening at the bareness of your legs. You felt a little embarrassed and set his pajama pants atop his dresser.

-

Your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you stared into the tv displaying some gameshow on a low volume.

"The pants didn't fit." You say out of the blue.

"What?" He asks, eyes not leaving the tv.

"Your pajama pants didn't fit, and then my bra was all wet so I couldn't wear that either. I wasn't trying to be a slut-" You start to ramble.

"What? I never thought you were, what is this about? Is that why you've been so distant? Did someone say somethin' to you?" Eddie shifts up, sitting straighter while his eyes bore into yours. He was going to kill whoever called you a slut.

"No! No. I don't know why I said that."

"It's not like you would ever see me in that way anyway." You say under your breath with a dry chuckle. You didn't expect him to hear it or care even if he had because it was true. He would only see Chrissy that way, obviously. It was selfish of you to think about him the way you did when he was so clearly hers. He shifts his body to fully face you this time.

"What?"

You don't say anything, because if you did, you were sure the lump in your throat would let loose and all of your pent up tears would spring loose. He studied your face closely. It wasn't often- especially now- that he got to look at you so close. The plumpness of your cheeks and the curve of your cheek bones, the shape of your nose and the little space where your brow bone met the bridge. He was looking so closely, that he quickly noticed the quivering of your bottom lip.

You just couldn't stop thinking about how much he probably likes her. And how much you would give for him to feel that way about you.

"Y/n." His tone was so low and hushed, and him saying your name alone was enough for the first droplet to push through the threshold. Your facial expression didn't change, just stayed the same as the first few hot tears rolled down, leaving a wet surface behind them for the cold air to cling to.

His warm hand pulled your face toward him.

"What is it, sweetheart?" You squeezed your eyes shut at your pet name causing more tears to fall.

"Why do you have to do that?" You whisper.

"Do what, baby?" You shake your head.

"Make it so hard to love you." You open your eyes to see the most sympathetic yet confused face you'd ever seen.

"You really don't know?" You almost laugh, it was kind of funny how oblivious he was to how much you loved him. He wanted to speak, to say anything but his throat closed up on him.

"I see the way you are with Chrissy. You don't have to say anything." You look back at the tv in hopes of letting this whole thing go.

"Chrissy?" He was still turned toward you and his eyes were studying your expression.

"I know you like her." His eyebrows furrow. Sure, she was pretty, but so were you. How could he pick Chrissy over his girl?

"But- Chrissy's not even..." He starts, thinking about all the things he loved about you, having a hard time choosing just one to say.

"Right. I should've guessed. Not even she is good enough for you, you'd like someone like the chicks on all these posters you have." You were salty now, just honestly pissed off that you weren't enough.

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't want Chrissy or the girls on my stupid posters." You stay silent, eyes looking through the tv at this point.

"I want you."

You finally turn to face him and make a genuine frown.

"You don't have to lie." Your voice breaks and the tears start up again.

He sits up.

"But I'm not! Why do you think I even hang out with you so much?"

"Because I'm just like one of the guys."

"Do you see me one on one with Gareth calling him my baby girl?" You sigh and wipe away your tears. The look of your puppy dog eyes was breaking Eddie's heart.

"I'm in love with you Y/n. How many more ways do you want me to say it?"

"But Chrissy, she's so pretty." You say slowly in such a heart wrenching tone.

"Who cares? You're prettier, always have been." He nudged your chin up to look at him.

"D'you really mean it?" Your face was still frowning and your eyes were glistening.

"Of course I mean it. You're the prettiest girl in the whole world. I can't believe you don't know that." His words were such a reassuring relief to you that you couldn't help your hands flinging around his neck as you bury your face in his chest. You sob into it, finally able to release all your insecurity. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you as tight as he can. His heart is breaking at the sound of your cries and the dampness of his shirt. He pets your hair as you start to calm down.

When you look up, the two of you are so close you can feel his breath on your lips. God, they looked to plump and soft. As if he was reading your mind, he closed the space between you and pressed his lips against yours. They were as soft as they looked. The kiss was short, seeing as he was testing the waters. But once he pulled away you chased his lips and pulled him in for another one causing him to lightly laugh at your eagerness.

"For the record, I do see you that way. You're driving me crazy wearing my shirt with no pants." He murmurs on your lips, making you giggle and tackle him.

Can you please write something where Chrissy continuously tries flirting with Eddie just because she doesn’t really like you (which she makes known every time you’re even in her general area) and thinks she’d be a better match for Eddie. Fortunately in the end, Eddie chooses you because you’re the love of his life and Chrissy is just some girl he liked in high school

Please please please?

You have asked with a lot of "please" so I will. I hope this is what you were looking for. I did tweak it a little where Eddie never liked Chrissy in the first place, so I'm sorry about that change

Never proofread

~~~

Y/N had a crush on Eddie Munson ever since she first saw him. She was a grade below him so they never had classes together. She'd watch him during lunch, drooling over his sweet eyes, soft nose, and kissable lips. She had a crush on him since last year when she accidentally walked into hellfire. She was searching for her class when she walked into the wrong room. Her eyes connected with his. He looked at her confused as she looked lost. He directed her to the right class but he never left her mind after that.

And now? She was part of hellfire, all for the purpose of the leader. She took the time to learn how to play and create her character. That doesn't mean she knew what she was doing. When she first joined she lied and said she's played countless times, but once he asked what her class and statistics were, it was clear she had no idea of an answer.

For the past few months, Eddie has been tutoring her on how to play. He said she couldn't be part of Hellfire until after she learned some more. Which she was fine with, alone time with Eddie standing behind her as he leaned down to point things out? God, she was in heaven.

The more she spent time with him the more she grew confident in flirting. She liked him, and he seemed to enjoy having her around. From what she has heard, Eddie doesn't care to talk with "sheep." And he didn't accept new people in Hellfire, but she must have been different. He must have liked something about her.

She'd scoot closer, always resting her hand on his thigh. Giggling at all his jokes and softly smacking his arm. She'd compliment his rings, running her fingers around his hands, slipping off his ring, and putting it on herself.

Their DND dates turned into real dates, sitting in his van as they shared a milkshake. Talking about everything other than DND. Some of the dates ended in making out.

Practically dating at this point, just not official, Y/N felt herself growing irritated at Chrissy's obvious advances toward Eddie. It was like she appeared out of nowhere. Squeezing herself in the way of her and Eddie.

Y/N hated to admit it, but it made her jealous and insecure. Chrissy was a cheerleader, popular, and knew how to have guys wrapped around her finger. And Y/N was just a girl a grade below that learned to play DND to impress her crush.

Eddie Munson had a cheerleader flirting with him, what kind of chance did Y/N even have.

Since Y/N was a member, she got to join the Hellfire lunch table. She sat next to Eddie, always sharing her lunch since Eddie only packed a snack and his drugs for his deals. Between lunch, hellfire, their DND study sessions, and small dates in his van, they were never too far apart. But Chrissy began to change that.

~~~

Eddie had his arm thrown over Y/N's shoulder as he walked them to his van. Hellfire ended late and he offered to bring her home. They were talking about the campaign as they walked through the parking lot. Only to be stopped when Chrissy bounced in front of them.

Chrissy's blue eyes stayed on Eddie and Eddie only. Not acknowledging Y/N's presence at all.

"Thank gosh I caught you, Eds, could you help me with my car? It's not starting and I really need to get home." A pout on her lips as she asked.

"oh yeah, of course." Eddie smiled. Eddie was a nice guy, no matter what people thought.

Chrissy smiled and ran off to her car, Eddie took his arm off of Y/N's shoulder and handed her his keys.

"Okay to wait for me in the van, gorgeous?" He winked as the keys landed in her hand. Y/N hated that the nickname and wink made her whole body burn.

"I'm okay to wait, Eds" a little more aggressive with the nickname than she hoped. Quickly walking to his van, praying he didn't hear the change in her voice.

Eddie watched her to make sure she made it into the van, once she shut the door, he turned and made his way to Chrissy.

Y/N hated but also was happy she could see them from his van. Her eyes burning as she watched Chrissy flirt with him the whole time. She couldn't make out words, but she could read body language. Chrissy was facing Eddie completely, leaning in close to him as he talked, probably about the car. Chrissy was twirling her hair, smiling the whole time, and never once looking away from him.

Once she tried her car and it began to run, she jumped out and threw herself in his arms. He looked caught off guard but hugged her back. Y/N hated the twisting in her gut.

Then she watched as Chrissy leaned up and kissed Eddie's cheek. Y/N decided that was enough for her eyes to see. Turning her attention to her backpack, pulling out her notebook and going over today's campaign in her head. Her eyes caught sight of the random doodles Eddie drew as they played. Her attention shifted when the driver side door opened and slammed shut.

Y/N greeted Eddie's arrival and put away her notebook. Her eyes catching as Eddie placed a piece of paper in his cup holder. Black ink written with a phone number and heart. Y/N felt her heart sink.

"I see you got the cheerleaders phone number? That's quite big." Y/N said, clenching her jaw as she tried not to sound incredibly jealous.

Eddie shrugged it off, starting to pull out of the parking lot as he said, "Just in case she has car troubles again, she wanted me to recognize her number."

But Y/N knew that was not the reason Chrissy gave Eddie her phone number.

"Oh.... car troubles." She mumbled to herself.

~~~

And she was right. Over the past few days, Chrissy flirted more with Eddie, still ignoring Y/N's existence.

Y/N was on Eddie's lap, his hands holding her hips as she rocked against him. Her tongue twirled with his as they panted into each other. Eddie moaned at the taste of her tongue, moving her hips faster against his growing bulge.

His lips began to move down her neck when his phone started ringing. He pulled away with an apologetic smile, lifting her off of his lap and setting her on the cushion next to her.

She cleaned off her lips and watched as he fixed his jeans and walked towards the phone.

"Chrissy? Hey."

Y/N could feel any sort of good mood she had just vanished. The urge to roll her eyes grew stronger with every minute.

Eddie wrapped up the call and returned to Y/N's side. Smirking as he went to grab her hips again when she shuffled out of his reach. He eyed her closely.

"What's up?" He asked, resting his hand on her thigh.

"So I see she just calls whenever now" Y/N huffed out, she wanted to sound calm, but she was failing. She could practically watch the wheels turn in his head.

"Um yeah, sometimes about random stuff. Is that upsetting you?" He asked, and he was genuinely asking. She could tell he wasn't teasing or mocking her. But it made her feel stupid to even answer. What would she say? Oh yes, you taking the pretty cheerleader's phone number is making me jealous.

"Nope, I'm fine." She brushed it off

"You sure? You don't seem fine." He tried, and that was a mistake.

Eddie watched as she jumped off the couch.

"My god! I said I was fine. I don't care that Chrissy flirts with you, rubs your arm during school, and giggles at your jokes at a lunch table she's not even supposed to be part of. I don't care that she calls you while we are in the middle of making out. I don't fucking care!" She snapped, slamming the door on her way out.

Eddie was quick to race after her. She sat on the ground, picking at the grass as he walked down his trailer's steps.

"Didn't make it too far." He tried to joke, but all she did was shrug.

"I realized you were my ride." She mumbled to herself.

"How about we talk about what just happened, and then I can take you home." He offered, sitting next to her.

"Nothing to talk about. I said I was fine." She said, turning to him with what she hoped was a convincing smile.

"Okay well even if you are fine, I would still like to talk about it. We were having a good time before Chrissy called and after that, you stormed out." Eddie explained

"Sorry that I don't feel like making out after precious Chrissy called." Y/N snapped.

"See! That right there. You are not fine. Chrissy upsets you....and it's because she flirts with me?" Eddie questioned.

"Look, I know it is stupid so can we just forget it? " Y/N sighed. She just wanted to go home and forget about this whole conversation.

"I never said it was stupid." He said softly, grabbing her hand that was yanking the grass and holding it in his lap.

"I just got jealous." She finally confessed

"Why?"

With that question, she felt like she could have smacked him.

"Why? Jesus Eddie, do you even pay attention? I fucking like you, I joined Hellfire to spend time with you. And we started getting closer and then Chrissy showed up with her perfect eyes, perfect smile, and perfect everything and just swept herself on in. How am I supposed to compete with that?" She rushed out, and the grip on his hand grew tight.

"Who said you had to compete with her?" Eddie questioned her, a teasing smile on his face.

She scoffed and shook her head, "Come on Eddie, it is between an average girl and a cheerleader. It's obvious who you will pick."

"I don't think I made it obvious enough, otherwise we wouldn't have to have this conversation."

"What?" Now she was confused.

"There is no competition, there is no Chrissy and I. You are wrong about everything. It's not between an average girl and a cheerleader. It's my girl and my girl only. I like you. I broke every rule I set about Hellfire just to let you join. I don't notice her, I never did and I never will. But I've always noticed you and I always will. If you so desperately want me to pick between my girl and just a cheerleader, I pick you." He spoke softly, practically whispering at the end of his speech. His hand cupped her jaw as he tilted her head to look at him.

She wasn't sure what to say so she didn't try. Just reaching up to press her lips against his.

After a few minutes, Eddie pulled away. "Will you be my girlfriend? Let me show you it's just you and you only."

"Yes," she whispered and pressed her lips against his again.

Maybe the competition was in her head all along, either way, she was in Eddie's arms and that's where she wanted to be.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

Pairing: Eddie x F!Reader

Summary: Wayne didn't trust you, until one night.

Warnings: angst, fluff, nightmares

Wayne Munson just wanted to protect his boy. And that's why he was so reluctant towards you.

It wasn't that he didn't like you, it was that he didn't trust you: after all the years Eddie had spent almost alone in school, you came in the picture. You, saying you cared about him, saying you were interested in the music he listened to and the books he read, saying you loved him.

It all seemed too perfect and Wayne just knew there was something wrong.

Not because he was a bad person, Wayne absolutely wasn't, but because he was afraid you were playing with Eddie's feelings. He was afraid that one day you'd laugh in his face and tell him there was no way a girl like you could ever love someone like him. An outcast. A cult-leader. A freak.

The worst part was that Eddie, on the other hand, was really in love with you. He could see it by the way he talked about you when you weren't around, by his loving gaze when you visited him at the trailer, by the smile that appeared on his lips whenever he mentioned you in a conversation.

Wayne was afraid Eddie would suffer when you left him.

Because he knew you would. It was just a matter of time.

After what had happened in the upside down, after Eddie had almost died (because yes, he knew the whole truth even if he had a hard time believing it at first) he often woke up due to nightmares.

Often he heard the bed creak as if Eddie was tossing and turning in pain, sometimes he heard him talking but never understood what exactly he was saying. He was probably calling your name, the name of girl he was in love with, poor naive boy.

Once, he opened the door to his room slightly, slowly and asked if everything was all right, watching the figure curled up on the bed, his legs drawn up to his chest in a defensive position.

Even in the dark he could clearly see that Eddie was shaking.

It was pretty obvious that no, he wasn't all right. He was far from it.

Eddie told him to go away, that he was fine. Wayne pressed for a while but Eddie didn't seem to want to talk to him. Finally he closed the door and went back to his room, hoping that giving him the space he wanted would help.

He wasn't sure if it had really helped him when he started hearing muffled sobs coming from his room.

He really didn't know what to do. Eddie should have talked to someone about it, vented in some way but he didn't seem to want to do it with him.

He didn't seem to want to talk about it even with you, his "girlfriend". Wayne had expected this too: You wouldn't be there for his boy when he needed it.

After that night, Eddie had locked the door to his room, so even if Wayne wanted to go inside to check, he couldn't.

One night though, Wayne woke up to a noise coming from the room next to his, from Eddie's room.

He sighed running a hand over his face, tired, knowing he was going to have another sleepless night and that Eddie would too.

Thar time though, he heard the door to Eddie's bedroom open and the sound of bare feet making their way down the hallway where the phone was hanging on the wall.

What the hell was he doing?

Wayne got out of bed and headed for the door to his room but, when he was about to open it, he heard Eddie's voice on the other side of the door and stopped.

He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but that didn't stop him.

"Hey, sweetheart."

Wayne realized Eddie called you. At two in the morning.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Eddie whispered, almost as that was all the voice he could get out at the moment.

"Yeah, don't worry. I just... I think I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry, I'm sure I woke you up. Yeah, I told you I'm fine." Eddie muttered, if his words were to sound convincing, he was failing miserably.

He sounded like a kid scared by a thunderstorm, in moments like that Wayne wished Eddie's mom was still there with him, some things really would've been easier.

“No, that's stupid, I shouldn't even have called, you probably just want to sleep and not worry about my dumb problems. It's just…I'm tired, Y/N. I'm so tired and the nightmares won't stop and I… I don't know what to do. Every time, every night I'm there again and there are the bats and the lightning and- and It's hard to sleep without you. I'm scared Y/N. I'm scared they'll never stop, that I'll never be okay." Eddie sniffed.

Was he crying?

"But it's okay. I mean, yeah, I- don't worry and-" he probably stopped to hear what you were saying.

Were you telling him to go fuck himself for calling in the middle of the night? Were you trying to console him? Wayne couldn't know but either way, he didn't trust you. He had never done that.

"No. You don't have to. No, Y/N, no please, really, I-" Eddie stammered before silence fell on the other side of the door.

You hung up the phone. You hung up the phone on Eddie's face when he needed someone to listen to him and when he trusted you enough to call you and talk about how he was feeling.

Wayne knew it would end like this. You never loved Eddie like you said you did, you didn't even care about him or you wouldn't have hung up the phone. Maybe it was a joke all along, "make the freak your boyfriend, make him fall in love and trust you and then leave him when he needs it most and break his heart."

He knew how mean teenagers could be, they always managed to hit where it hurt the most. And, of course that's what you did with Eddie, you played with his heart that had already been broken too many times for someone so young.

He heard Eddie pacing nervously down the short hallway a couple of times, and just as Wayne was about to walk out of the room despite having no idea what to say, he heard the trailer door open and close.

Eddie went out. And Wayne wasn't going to let him spend the night in the cold or whatever that boy was up to.

The older Munson finally came out of his room and made his way to the door Eddie had disappeared through.

He opened it slightly and looked out, finding himself faced with the most unexpected scene he had imagined.

There you were, your car parked in front of the trailer, the door still open, and you were striding towards Eddie.

The sky was dark and moonless, only a few stars were visible, a nearby street lamp allowed the man to see what was happening.

Wayne leaned against the door frame, watching the scene a few feet away from him.

As soon as you reached Eddie you wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed him towards you, he immediately wrapped his arms around your body in a hug Wayne wondered if it could actually break any bones.

Eddie held on to you as if his life depended on it, squeezing the fabric of your shirt with his hands and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as he hugged you, as if having you there in that moment solved all his problems, as if Eddie was okay again just because of your presence.

"I'm here. It's okay, I got you." You said holding him, your voice soft and sincere.

That was the moment Wayne realized he was completely wrong about you, all along.

"You didn't have to come." Eddie whispered, not letting you go.

"But I wanted to." You responded by stepping away from him slightly, cupping his face with your hands and running your thumbs on his cheeks.

"I swear, you are something else." Eddie said with a slight smile. "Thank you for coming, really."

And Wayne, seeing you looking at Eddie as if he was the most precious thing in the world, wondered what had been on his mind every time he doubted your sincerity, every time he thought you didn't really care about Eddie.

You went there in the middle of the night because you knew he needed it, and he didn't even ask you. That was all it took to know that you were a good person. That you were there for his boy.

"I love you." He murmured before bringing his lips to yours in a light but affectionate kiss. Wayne had to look down, feeling he was slipping into a too intimate a moment.

"I love you too." You responded leaning your forehead against his. "And I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, you know that."

"Do you- think you can stay the night? I understand if you can't- if you don't want to- I mean-"

"Eddie, I've come to stay. I wouldn't leave even if you begged me, right now." You reassured him.

He nodded, leaving a kiss on top of your head. "I love you so much."

You smiled grabbing his hand with yours, intertwining your fingers ready to reenter the trailer.

Your eyes met Wayne's still in the doorway.

Eddie's hand squeezed yours tighter as you reached for him.

"She's spending the night here whether you like it or not." Eddie announced to his uncle.

Wayne looked between you and Eddie, then back to you as you started to talk.

"I'm sorry I showed up here in the middle of the night but I can't leave now, I-"

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you." He finally admitted.

A surprised expression came onto your face.

"I was wrong about you, I was wrong from the start." He said leading you into the trailer.

Eddie smiled at his uncle's words.

"It's okay, I understand where all your resilience came from. Really, don't worry about it." You answered with conviction.

Wayne patted your shoulder. "You are a good kid, thank you for being here."

You smiled again. "You don't have to thank me. None of you have to."

Eddie put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him, up against his Metallica shirt he used to sleep in.

"We're going to sleep, uncle Wayne." Eddie said before heading to his room, dragging you with him.

You turned one last time to Wayne before disappearing behind Eddie's bedroom door. "Good night."

The man's gaze softened even more. "Goodnight kids."

Eddie was in good hands now, he always had been even when Wayne didn't know it.

You were always there, even when Wayne didn't know it. You were family.

Tags: @jacklesdeanvessel @morning-sky7

Well, I'm feeling a bit petty lately. So say, Y/N and Eddie is in a relationship but another girl is hitting on him and rubbing it in Y/N's face and she has told Eddie "please, tell this girl off, because it's not fun what she's doing." But Eddie, that has only seen the sweet side of the other girl tells her 'there's nothing you have to worry about', maybe he likes the attention even though he's faithful to Y/N.

So one night when Y/N and Eddie is going to have a date night this girls calls is needs him for whatever reason and Eddie just says "be right back, babe."

And that's where Y/N draw the line. She usually stays at Eddie's and Wayne's but now she packs up her stuff and goes home and when Eddie comes back and gets frantic, she doesn't answer her phone and when he comes to her house to visit she just says: Why aren't you with "other girls name"? She's the one you treat as a girlfriend after all?" and close the door in his face.

And Eddie realizes he has fucked upp for real this time - for real real and maybe even gets a talking to by Wayne.

But it ends happily please?

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻 I tried my best to make it a happy ending and still keeping Eddie at blame.

Who's your girlfriend?

Y/N and Eddie's relationship never had arguments or disagreements. They worked perfectly together. But lately, a new girl shook things up.

Her name was Maddie, and Y/N hated her. She was a waitress at the hideout. Eddie and Y/N spent most of their time at the hideout, cuddled in their booth. It was something Y/N looked forward to every day, but now it sucked.

Maddie knew Eddie was taken, and she didn't care. She spent most of her shifts flirting with Eddie and it pained Y/N that he never told her to back off.

"Anything else?" Maddie asked, her attention on Eddie.

"We are all set, thank you." Eddie smiled, taking the check from Maddie's hand. She smiled back and walked off.

"Help me with the math?" Eddie asked as he handed Y/N the receipt. Y/N went to calculate a tip when she noticed tiny scribbles in the corner.

"What a bitch!" Y/N snarled, slamming the receipt on the table. "She wrote her fucking phone number."

"So? Ignore it." Eddie shrugged, digging cash out of his wallet.

"Ignore it? Eddie! She flirts with you all the time, and I try to ignore it. But this is straight disrespect. And I think you need to say something." Y/N explained.

"She doesn't mean it, you know waitresses do the most for a tip."

"I think she wants more than just the tip, Eddie," Y/N growled, and she slid out of the booth. Eddie followed after.

"Don't be like that. You know I've only got eyes for you." Eddie said, throwing his arm over her shoulder. But she shrugged him off and crossed her arms. She marched out of the bar, and Eddie tried to keep up.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Next time I'll say something." Eddie promised, grabbing her hand to make her stop.

Y/N sighed and kicked at the rocks in the parking lot.

"You will?" She asked, her sad eyes looking up at him.

"Of course." He said. Y/N let it go, holding his hand as they walked to his van and went home.

~

Y/N took deep breaths as they walked into the hideout. She was excited to finally see Eddie put Maddie in her place.

They sat down in their booth, no surprise Maddie was ready to serve them immediately. Her eyes stayed on Eddie as he ordered their drinks.

"You got it, handsome." Maddie flirted and then walked off.

Y/N kicked Eddie under the table, giving him a look. Her eyes hinted at Maddie.

"She's a nice girl, baby. Just being friendly." Eddie reassured her, moving closer to wrap his arm around her shoulder.

Y/N rolled her eyes but dropped it. The night was young and there would be plenty of time for Eddie to shut Maddie up. Y/N cuddled into his shoulder. She held the hand that hovered over her shoulder and pecked his jaw.

Maybe them being so cuddled up would help Maddie get the hint.

It didn't

Towards the end of their date, Maddie and Eddie got in a conversation about rock bands. Eddie removed his arm to talk with his hands. Y/N felt like the third wheel as she slurped down her drink.

Y/N was ready to leave. She couldn't sit here and watch them talk like she didn't exist.

"Excuse us, but we are leaving," Y/N said, standing up as she got out of the booth. She didn't care what Eddie had to say, she yanked him out of his spot.

"Oh, um bye!" Maddie rushed out as Y/N dragged Eddie out of the door.

"Well, that was rude." Eddie scoffed

"Rude? What was rude was you two acting like I wasn't even there! What was rude is that you told me you'd tell her off and you sat there like an idiot!" Y/N huffed, letting go of his hand as they made it to the van.

"She wasn't doing anything! We were having a friendly conversation." Eddie defended, starting the van.

"Friendly? Yeah right. I didn't know friendly conversations meant she'd be rubbing your arm and giggling at every fucking word. Trust me, babe. You are not that funny." Y/N said she knew she was being bitchy but she was beyond pissed.

"Why don't we talk about this when you calm down?" Eddie offered, peeling out of the parking lot.

But she never calmed down. She slammed the trailer door behind her as she marched into Eddie's room.

"Baby, come on let's talk" Eddie tried

"Nope. You didn't want to talk in the car so oh well. I am going to bed." She said, stripping out of her clothes and changing into pajamas she always left at Eddie's.

Eddie sighed but got ready for bed as well. He bit his lip as they lay in silence. She refused to cuddle him or let him touch her. She was on her side with her back towards him.

"Look I'm sorry." He said, his hand touched her shoulder but she slapped it away.

"Sorry, my ass. Go to bed." She snapped.

A few minutes passed, and both lay in silence.

Eddie groaned as his phone rang, he slipped out of bed to answer. Y/N turned on the lamp and sat up confused. It was very late for someone to be calling and she was worried that Dustin or someone needed help.

"Yeah, I'll be right there," Eddie said and he hung up.

"What's going on?" Y/N asked, moving to her knees.

"Maddie needs a ride home. I'll be right back." Eddie said he slipped on his pants and his jacket.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll be right back! Just go to sleep, love." Eddie said, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

"Edward Munson, do not go pick up that girl," Y/N growled, her tone was deep and angry. Eddie felt a little nervous as she glared.

"She called me! I can't just leave her at work." Eddie tried to defend.

"Yeah, she can stay at work until her next shift. Or call someone else. I'm sure she's got family and friends." Y/N shrugged. Then it clicked, she had Eddie's number. Y/N's face hardened and Eddie stepped back.

Her feet landed on the floor as her finger stabbed into Eddie's chest. He walked backward until his body hit his wall.

"She has your number, which means you called her! Which means you kept that receipt with her number on it." Y/N seethed. She couldn't believe her boyfriend kept Maddie's number.

"Yes, I did. But it was just as friends!" Eddie tried to defend himself.

"You knew I didn't like that she did that. You knew that I thought it was disrespectful towards our relationship."

"But I don't see it like that! I truly don't see an issue."

"Don't see the issue? I thought I made it clear. She's into you and you are leading her on because you enjoy the attention." Y/N said, her anger turning into a bit of sadness. Her boyfriend was enjoying the attention of someone else.

"I really need to go get her. And we can talk when I get back?" Eddie asked, Y/N stepped back and let him move away from the wall.

She was done talking and she was done listening. She nodded but didn't say a word. She kept her eyes on the floor as Eddie grabbed his keys and left.

Y/N refused to cry, she sniffled and took a deep breath. As she heard the van's engine start, she started to pack. She grabbed the nearest bag she could find and threw everything she had in it. If Maddie wanted Eddie so damn bad, she could have him. It wasn't like Eddie didn't already pick her a thousand times over Y/N anyway.

"You okay, kid?" Y/N looked up from her frantic packing. Wayne stood at Eddie's door with a sad smile.

"Uh yeah. I'm sorry if we woke you up." Y/N apologized, and she zipped up the bag.

"I'm sorry he's an idiot. He's going to realize soon, it takes Eddie a bit to see the real picture." Wayne sighed.

"Yeah well I'm not going to wait for him to see it," Y/N said, she had the bag on her shoulder and walked past Wayne.

"Let me drive you home." Wayne offered, as he grabbed his keys.

~

Eddie yawned as he finally got back home. It was nearly two am and he was exhausted. He was mentally exhausted by what was behind the door. He didn't want to have to argue with Y/N all over again.

Eddie walked into the trailer, shocked to see Wayne sitting on the couch.

"Why are you awake?" Eddie asked

"Why are you just getting home?" Wayne asked

"A friend needed a ride home." Eddie shrugged, as he took off his shoes and jacket. "But I'll talk to you in the morning. I don't want to keep Y/N waiting."

"She left," Wayne said, a disappointed tone in his voice.

"What? Why?" Eddie asked, he looked into his bedroom and his heart stopped. Half of his room was missing, all her stuff was nowhere to be seen.

"Go find out. And for once, listen to her." Wayne said as he walked back into his own room.

Eddie threw back on his shoes and jacket and headed back out.

He wasn't sure how many laws he broke as he pulled into Y/N's driveway. He climbed up the tree that led him straight to her window. He tapped on the glass, the light was on so he knew she was still awake.

Y/N yanked open her curtains to see Eddie. She rolled her eyes but opened the window.

"What are you doing here?" She sighed, crossed her arms, and blocked him from coming inside.

"You left, of course, I'm going to come get you," Eddie said, she ignored his puppy eyes and kept her ground.

"Right. After you were done with Maddie, right?" Y/N said

"Look Y-" but Y/N cut him off.

"No, Edward. We've talked about it, I've said how I've felt and you don't care. A friendship with Maddie is too important to you. So how about you leave me the fuck alone and go back to the girl you actually treat like a girlfriend. We're done." Y/N snapped, she slammed down her window and closed the curtains. This time she allowed herself to cry, she turned off her light so he couldn't see her shadow. She heard him knocking but she refused. She ignored his cries and pleas, she crawled into bed and allowed herself to cry to sleep.

~~~

Eddie paced in the living room all night. He waited for Wayne to wake up because he had no idea what to do. He knew he brushed how Y/N felt, but he thought it was jealousy. He didn't know she'd break up with him over it. He kicked himself for not truly listening and fixing the issue at the start.

Wayne walked out and Eddie ambushed him before he even made it to the hallway.

"She broke up with me. What do I do?" Eddie rushed out, the panic in his voice made him sound shaky.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. But I can't tell you what to do." Wayne said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Wayne, please. I can't let this girl go. If I knew how to fix it, I would have done it last night. I stayed up thinking and thinking but I was scared. What if I fucked up too bad? What if she never wants to be with me again?" Eddie panicked. His hands were in his hair as he yanked in frustration.

"Eddie, that girl told you the problem a thousand times. Listen to what she said, and you'll know what to do. But don't wait, do it now. A girl like that deserves way more than you offered her. I didn't raise you to hurt girls." Wayne lectured as he poured his coffee.

~

Eddie knew what he needed to do. He raced to Y/N's. Luckily it was a normal time so he could use the front door. He knocked and waited.

Y/N opened the door and went to slam it but Eddie caught it with his foot.

"Please, just give me a second to apologize."

Y/N sighed and opened the door.

"I'm sorry for pushing your feelings aside. I'm sorry for being a dick, and a bad boyfriend. I should have said something to Maddie the first time you felt uncomfortable. I'm sorry for everything and for making you upset. I know I don't deserve it, but I'm going to hate myself forever if I don't try to save this relationship. If I woke up one morning, alone in my thirties, knowing I could have had you right next to me and I didn't try for it. So please," he dropped to his knees and grabbed her hand. "Let me show you I heard you."

Y/N was confused about what it all meant, but she knew she loved Eddie and if there was a way to fix it, she wanted to do it.

"Okay, fine. What's your plan?" Y/N asked. Eddie jumped to his feet and grabbed her hand. He closed her front door and dragged her to his car.

"What are you doing?" She asked, but Eddie just had a big smile on his face.

"Something I should have done a long time ago." He said as he began to drive.

Y/N sat silently as she took in her surroundings. It clicked that they were heading to the hideout.

"Isn't it a little early to drink?" Y/N teased as Eddie pulled up into the parking lot.

"Yes, but that's not why we are here," Eddie said, he got out of the van and opened her door. He grabbed her hand and walked up to the front door, but didn't go in.

"Are we not going in?" Y/N asked

"We are, just need to do something first," Eddie said.

Y/N rolled her eyes as she saw Maddie walk up. She wasn't dressed in uniform so Y/N assumed she wasn't working.

"You wanted to see me?" Maddie asked, nervously looking at Eddie.

Y/N looked confused between both of them.

"Maddie, I am completely in love with Y/N. I know it was wrong of me to feed into your flirting. Even if I only wanted to be friends, I realize now it makes my girl uncomfortable and that's what matters the most. I also know now that your actions towards me were disrespectful to my relationship and whatever you thought was happening, is not happening. I've deleted your number, so I'd like it if you didn't call me ever again and never talked to me again." Eddie said, Y/N tried to hold back her laugh as steam came out of Maddie's ears.

Maddie didn't say anything, she stomped off and mumbled curse words under her breath.

"I know it doesn't fix everything. But I hope it's a start." Eddie said.

"It's definitely a start." Y/N smiled, holding Eddie's hand as they walked into the hideout. She gasped as she saw the whole small bar lit up in fairy lights, their booth had candles and a display of breakfast foods.

"Oh wow."

"Would you join me for a breakfast date?" Eddie asked his hand gestures towards the table.

"Oh absolutely," Y/N smiled as she walked towards their booth.

It was a start in the right direction. Maddie was out of their hair, and fixing their relationship could have all their attention.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

Eddie request. Sister of Jason really likes Eddie. When she finally has the courage to approach Eddie. He rejects instantly thinking it was a mean joke on Jason's part. But he comes to realize it wasn't a joke.???

AN | Soo, I took some liberties with this, but I hope you enjoy it. I’m going to stand by my best boyfriend Eddie tag. Please heed the warnings before reading!

Warnings | Language, Physical Fighting, Use of derogatory names (not by Eds, of course), and discussion of abuse (physical and verbal)

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.7k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

Part 2

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Despite your best efforts, you found your eyes drifting to the other side of the cafeteria more often than not. The conversation you found yourself roped into wasn’t particularly riveting which caused your mind to keep drifting away. But then again, he was just so enthralling; everything about him seemed to draw you in. 

“I’m…going to go outside and get some air,” you didn’t even bother to see if anyone had stopped talking and almost jumped out of your spot. The others at the table gave you a few curious looks but more or less ignored you as you headed outside. You swung your backpack over your shoulder and allowed yourself one last glance to the other side of the room. He caught your eye for just a moment but his expression didn’t give anything away. 

You didn’t stop till you were outside and away from any people, before leaning against the wall and letting out a long sigh. Why your parents had made you come back to Hawkins for your last year of high school was beyond you. You would have been content to stay at the boarding school you’d spent so many years at, but the universe had not done you the favor. At least it was only one year; one year of faking your through it all. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Cheerleading might have been the most boring thing you’d ever done. It wasn’t that it was terrible, but the whole pom-pom and rah-rah thing wasn’t something you’d ever dreamed about. But somehow you’d been reluctantly talked into it by your parents and brother or you know…basically forced. Image was everything after all. The girls themselves weren’t all…completely terrible. Some of them were tolerable, like Chrissy, but the rest were insufferable with the personalities of tea towels. It was all way too shallow and superficial for your liking; you’d have been much happier tucked away somewhere reading…or doing anything else.

It was a cold fall afternoon and you just couldn’t force yourself to get through another afternoon of suffering. Instead you’d just…skipped going to practice. You slipped out before the last period of the day, grabbing your bag and sneaking away into the wooded area behind the cool when you were sure the coast was clear. 

An audible sigh of relief escaped your lips when you realized you’d made it and no one was coming after you. If you were lucky, they wouldn’t even notice you were gone, but you had a feeling you’d be getting an earful at dinner that night - it was still worth it.

“What are you doing here?” you almost jumped at the sound of the voice, yelping lightly as you clutched at your chest. Your heart felt like it was pounding as you turned around to see it was. Much to your surprise (and secret delight), there stood Eddie Munson in all of his glory. Your mouth ran dry as he looked you up and down, an eyebrow raised, “shouldn’t you be off shaking your little pom-poms somewhere else?”

“I-I-I didn’t go,” you stammered nervously under his intense gaze, “couldn’t force myself to suffer through another afternoon of…that.”

“Hmmm,” he mused as sat atop the old picnic table, his eyes never leaving you, “I didn’t think you were allowed to say stuff like that. You know…isn’t that against your forced conformity?”

“I, ugh…hate everything about it,” you admitted with a small shrug, “it’s so stupid, a waste of time, and I’d honestly rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than do it ever again.”

His eyes narrowed for a comment before he let out a bark of laughter, “that’s cute. You’re just oh so rebellious aren’t you, princess?”

“I-”

“You’re Carver’s sister, aren’t you?” he asked as you visibly cringed and hung your head, “they kept you hidden for so long and yet you’re just like all the rest of them. A sweet, innocent little sheep.”

“First of all, I’m adopted,” you sighed with a wave of your hand, “second - I hate him more than anything else. Third - I was away at a different school, but our lovely parents decided that I didn’t need to stay in my current school, because why would it benefit me to be at a school that focuses on sciences and would help when it came time for college when I could be here instead?”

“Science?” he held up his hands in mock surprise and you couldn’t help but study the rings on his fingers. He had nice hands…very nice, “does that mean you have half a brain?”

“I’d like to think I have a little more than that, thank you very much,” you glared at him, surprised by his seemingly aggressive and defensive demeanor. You’d never seen him act this way around his friends…but then again you weren’t anything close to a friend, “sorry to have rubbed you the wrong way apparently.”

“No hard feelings, princess,” he rested his elbow in his knee, chin perched in his hand, “it’s just a little hard for me to believe that you’re anything different from all the rest of them. You fit right into their perfect little world.”

“Eddie-”

“Oh,” he cocked his head to the side, “how sweet - you know my name. Don’t think I don’t see you staring at me, sweetheart. You’re anything but subtle. Can’t let anyone else see though…what would they think when they realized you were hot for the town freak? Hmm?”

“Why are you being like this?” the coldness he was exhibiting surprised you. You weren’t exactly expecting an open armed welcome, but this was…different, “I-I haven’t done anything to you. I thought…I…”

“Thought what, princess?” He was leaning forward now, watching you with great interest as you tried to keep it together. All you wanted was someplace where you could find a group of friends that were actually real and not fake. Apparently that was not written in the stars for you, “hmm? Did you think you were going to come over, bat those pretty eyelashes and make me fall in love with you? I see the way you watch me, that look in your eyes. What - were you going to ask me to hang out? To go on a little date?”

Your face fell as you stared at your feet, willing the tears that were pearling up to go away. You bit the inside of your cheek before shaking your head and letting out a shaky breath. You couldn’t even force yourself to look at him, “n-no. I-I-I’m sorry for having bothered you.”

He caught sight of your face as you picked your backpack up and saw that some tears had run down your cheeks. His heart constricted for a moment when he saw what he had done. He hadn’t meant to hurt your feelings that much, probably really shouldn’t have let it go that far. But he had…having been treated so different, so other for so long, there were times when he couldn’t take it. 

“Fuck,” he sighed at himself as he watched your retreating figure run out to the parking lot. He slammed his fist on the table, letting the pain shoot through his arm, “fuck.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You spent the next several weeks avoiding everyone you could, especially Eddie Munson. You hadn’t even been able to look in his direction since that afternoon in the woods. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes and see whatever hate he held for you. 

The rest of your so-called friends had noticed something was off and had slowly, but surely, started to push you to the fringes of their group before leaving you behind entirely. You’d even told the coach that you were done with cheerleading, and unsurprisingly no one cared, save for Chrissy who seemed like the only decent person within the popular clique. Your parents had been disappointed and Jason was an ass as ever. Somehow things had gone from bad but tolerable, to completely miserable. 

You didn’t even bother going into the cafeteria most days anymore, and stayed late after school just to avoid heading home. There had been a secluded little spot behind the main building where you liked to sit and read or do your homework. 

“Hey,” you inhaled sharply at the sound of Jason’t annoyed voice. You looked up to find him glaring at you, a deep scowl on his face.

“Hey,” your response was tentative and you were even more surprised when he held out his hand to help you to your feet. You took it, and he quickly yanked you towards him, causing a burning pain in your shoulder, “stop! What are you doing?!”

His jaw was clenched and you could see the anger behind his eyes. Your heart was pitter-pattering nervously as you tried to put out of his grasp, “did you turn down Ritchie when he asked you out?”

“What are you talking about?” you did not like the look behind his eyes, “what does it matter?”

“Answer the question!”

“I-I - yes,” you gave into him and he pulled your arm harder, “why do you care? I don’t like him and he made me feel uncomfortable!”

“You dumb, ugly little whore,” he was twisted your arm, which only made you whimper in pain, “why the fuck did you say no to him?! He’s one of my best friends and I told him you’d say yes. Are you trying to make me look bad? Huh?”

“Jason, let go,” you were crying now, trying desperately to pull away from him, “you’re hurting me!”

“As if I-”

“Get the fuck away from her,” Jason stopped for a moment as you both looked up. To your surprise, you saw the last person you expected to see, hands clenched at his sides and a furious look on his face, “now.”

“Get out of here you fucking freak,” he hissed, “why are you even here? Why do you care?”

“Jason, stop it!”

“Oh,” he let out a sharp, horrible laugh, “she fucking you too? Shouldn’t have expected anything less from such a stupid s-”

Before he could say anything else, Eddie’s fist collided with Jason’s face and you could hear a sickening crunch as he released his hold on you. He staggered backwards, clutching at his face as blood started to gush everywhere.

“You’ve just made a huge mistake!”

“Oh?” Eddie gave him a small smile, “that’s too bad, but I can’t seem to find the will to care.”

“You freak-”

“Maybe so,” he wasn’t giving him any opportunity to do anything else before punching him again, causing Jason to stumble over his feet and fall to the ground. Eddie was on top of him, repeatedly punching him as Jason tried to fight back, “but at least I’m not an asshole.”

“Eddie,” you had panicked in the moment, unsure of what to do as you watched the two of them go at it. As much as you hated Jason, you hated the idea of Eddie getting in trouble over him even more. You reached for his wrist and held his hand back as you shook your head, “it’s not worth it. Please.”

“Yeah freak,” Jason had taken the opportunity and landed a punch on Eddie, ”listen to your whore.”

You felt horrible for being the reason he was punched; you saw his nose start to bleed as you held out your hand to him. Eddie gave Jason one more punch for good measure, which only caused him to groan and lie back. He took your outstretched hand, letting you gently pull him to his feet. 

You held onto his hand and pulled him along with you, all the way back into the school and towards the girls’ bathroom.You locked the door behind you and motioned for him to get on the counter. He did what you asked of him without a word. When you met his eye, he could see that your eyes were glossy with more tears, which caused his heart to plummet into his stomach.

“I am so sorry,” you wiped at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater before grabbing some paper towels and dampening them in cool water. You turned to him and found that he was watching you intently, “this is all my fault. I’m sorry, Eddie. At least…I’ll try and fix it a little.”

You gently dabbed at his face, careful not to irritate the bruise you already saw forming on his eye and wiped away all blood. At least his nose wasn’t broken, but he’d have a black eye. His fingers closed around your wrist as he gently stopped you, “why are you apologizing?”

“Because Jason…he was being an ass to you and then I distracted you and he landed a punch,” you shrugged, “and now you’re you’re going to have a black eye and sprained hand because of me. Guess you were right after all, huh? I’m just like the rest of them.”

“This isn’t your fault,” he insisted as you just shook your head and played him off. You took his bloodied hand, gently taking off his rings before doing your best to clean off the blood and grime. He watched you work and if you hurt him more, he didn’t show it. The way you helped him, the way you touched him was soft…reverent almost, “hey.”

Ignoring his request for your attention, you wrapped some clean paper towel around his hand to help stop the clean and the cuts from getting dirty. Before you were done you turned on the tap and rinsed his rings in cool water, getting them as clean as you could. 

“There,” you whispered as you finished drying them and put them next to him, “that should be a little better. You should get some ice on your face and hand to keep the swelling down.”

You still couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, but he put his good hand under your chin and turned your face to his, “thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” you shrugged him off and pulled out of his touch before taking a step back, “just…take care of yourself. I’ll make sure Jason stays away.”

“He hurt you,” it wasn’t a question but a statement. You shrugged and waved your hand dismissively, “is he…does he always treat you like that?”

You licked your lips and inhaled deeply before meeting his soft brown eyes, “not always. I guess it’s obvious why I wanted to be away for school, huh?”

“Hey-”

“Don’t,” you shook your head, “it’s okay. I’ll deal with it. It doesn't matter anyway, those are the people I’ve associated myself with. Just like you said.”

“No - that’s not,” he groaned as he slid off the counter and tried to make his way close to you, “I shouldn’t have said that shit. I didn’t - I’m sorry, but this -”

“Please,” you swallowed thickly, “just drop it, okay? I’ll…figure it out.”

Before he could say anything else, you unlocked the door and slipped out, quickly walking away before he could stop you. Eddie popped out and watched you go, rubbing a hand over his tired, sore face. None of this could have gone worse. 

“Fuck,” he sighed as kicked the door. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

For whatever reason, and to be honest, you didn’t exactly care why, Jason left you alone. He didn’t say anything to your parents, or anyone at the school, and if he happened to see you, he acted as if you were invisible. It was the best possible thing that could have happened; you were happy for yourself and happy that nothing happened to Eddie. 

He’d come to school the following day with his hand wrapped up and a big black eye, only providing dismissive answers when someone asked what happened. Jason said nothing either and just snapped at everyone and told them to find their business.

Meanwhile, you were able to slip further and further into the shadows and quietness. It seemed like no one paid you any attention anymore. Which, after everything that had happened, you were totally okay with; you could live with that.

But you didn’t go unnoticed by everyone. No, you’d never been invisible to him, despite how he made it seem upon your first encounter. He felt like the biggest jerk on the planet when he’d seen how his words made you cry. Instead of protecting himself and his own feelings, he’d only hurt you. 

Eddie had contemplated how to approach you every day after that encounter. But you didn’t even look in his direction anymore. He hadn’t caught you looking or stealing glances at all. It was going to drive him crazy if something didn’t happen. He felt this…overwhelming need to protect you, to make you feel better and safe and…everything. The little crush that he had harboring, played off in order to keep himself from getting hurt, only seemed to grow. But now you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

He saw his opportunity a few weeks after the incident. It was the weekend and he’d gone to the movies with a few of his friends, but as they were leaving the theater, he’d looked through the big window at the diner across the street and found you sitting there by yourself, nose tucked into a book as you picked away at a plate of fries. He quickly bid friends goodbye before running across the street and into the small hole-in-the-wall, sitting across from you before you even realized something had come in. 

When you looked up, your eyes widened when you saw that it was him. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, as you tried to figure out what to say. This was the first time you’d actually looked at him; his black eye was almost completely gone and hand looked much better. 

“Hi,” he said softly as you dog-eared your page and closed your book. He looked down and saw that it was the Silmarillion, which only caused him to smile wider. 

“Hi,” you replied quickly as you tried to sink into the booth as much as you could, “I…what are you doing here?”

“Listen…” he contemplated his words for a moment, drumming his fingers against the sticky tabletop before turning his attention back to you, “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For how I acted when we…met. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you shrugged him off and picked a cold fry off the plate, playing around with it for a moment tossing it back into the pile, “you don’t have to say you’re sorry for what you said or how you acted just because you feel sorry for me now. I’ve dealt with this…for a long time and it is what it is. And you are right - I did just associate myself with those people because I felt like I had to…forced conformity or whatever. But I…I’m fine. I’m…fine.”

Your voice cracked and you felt tears welling up against. You looked up at the agining fluorescent lighting and blinked rapidly to compose yourself. Eddie was still watching you closely, his heart feeling even more broken than it had been.

“But I do,” he tentatively reached across the table, his hand looking for yours and to his surprise, you slid your hand towards him. He set his hand on top of yours and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I…I acted the way I did because I…well, to be fully honest, I expected you to be some prissy little stuck up bitch. Thought you might have been having a rebellious moment and wanting to upset mom and dad by being seen with me.”

“No,” you huffed out a small laugh, which only caused him to smile lightly, “no. It wasn’t anything like that. I…you seemed nice, funny, cute, and I dunno. I guess I thought you could be a friend. You and your friends are much more the type of people I used to be friends with at school before I got dragged back here. Shocking, I know.”

He shook his head, which caused his mess of curls and waves to bob around, which brought a smile to your face, despite your best efforts, “I don’t think that’s shocking at all. I shouldn’t just...jump to conclusions.”

“To be fair,” you said softly, “I understand why. But, it’s in the past, and there’s no need to dwell on it. And you…you protected me, which you didn’t have to do at all-”

“Yes,” he promised gently, “I did. You should have never had to deal with that. To deal with him - anyone - hurting you physically or verbally. If he ever does or says anything like that to you ever, you will tell me and I will make sure he understands his mistake.”

“Eddie,” you had a few tears well up and roll down your cheeks as you simply nodded at him. He reached up and tenderly wiped them away with his thumb, “thank you. For being here…being a friend.”

“Yeah,” he promised, “I, ugh…I was kind of planning on sticking around…if you want me to.”

“Yes,” you turned your hand over so he could properly hold it and give it a tight squeeze, “I’d like that. A lot.”

“Good,” his smile was beautiful, you decided, all of him was. There was something about him that made you feel so calm and at ease. You hoped that feeling would never fade, “what are you doing tonight - right now?”

“This,” you pointed at your book and cold fries before giggling at the little shake of his head, “what? Cold fries and an old book don’t sound fun?”

“At the right times they do,” he teased lightly, “wanna go for a drive?”

“Yeah,” you agreed without a moment of hesitation, “yeah.”

“Good,” he stood up and motioned for you to follow, “I’ve got you, princess. You don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

NCT Dream when you accidentally burn yourself but you two are not talking to each other. 

Mark Lee

Mark hears a loud scream and the pot falling down. As he reached the kitchen, he sees you teary-eyed with your hands red. He approaches you and you flinched at his presence. But he only gave you a small smile, grabbing your wrist and bringing you to his room, Mark grabs his burnt ointment from his drawer, approaches you and gently treats it. You watched as he gently taps the ointment to your burn and after that, he only gave you a nod, telling you to be careful next time. 

Huang Renjun

Renjun finds you screaming strings of curses in the kitchen with the pot on floor. He lets out a sigh, telling you to get out of the kitchen, and take care of your wound. You told him that you need to cook, given that it was the start of your argument with him, (who's going to cook) but he insisted that you need a time out. And before you could argue, Renjun drags you to the living room, grabs the ointment and then started tending it, you only became quiet and as Renjun finished, he looks at you gently, apologizing that you ended up hurting yourself. 

Lee Jeno

The good thing was that, Jeno was in the kitchen when you accidentally touched the pot without a hand mitten. Jeno was quick to approached you, grabbing your wrist and running it through the tap water. He tells you to stay put and even though you two are in a silent treatment after an argument, you followed his instructions. Jeno returns with an ointment, immediately tending it. You watched as he gently massaged your burn and as he finishes it, Jeno kisses your burn and then looks at you, "I'm sorry, because of me, you got hurt." 

Lee Donghyuck

Haechan finds you in the kitchen running your hands on the tap water, he approaches you and sees that your hands were burning red. He started nagging you, telling you that you're not being careful and what will happen to you if you're not being careful. His words went on until you burst and started arguing with him as if you two didn't argued earlier. Haechan gave up first, leaves you and when you thought that he left you alone, he returns, slamming the burn ointment on the kitchen counter. 

Na Jaemin

Jaemin only realized that you burn yourself when you're trying to find the ointment while searching it with only one hand. He grabs your wrist and saw how huge the burn was, he made you sit on the couch and found the ointment all by himself. As he returns, he tends your wound but he started nagging you, telling you that you're not being careful and what will happen if things got worst. Overwhelmed by everything, you couldn't help but to cry, making your boyfriend stop, pulling you to a hug and apologizing for nagging you and having an argument with you earlier. 

Zhong Chenle

"Look at you, you can't do a thing without me," Chenle teases sassily. You know that you two are having a silent treatment because of an argument earlier, but you accidentally burn your hand when the pot holder broke. Now Chenle's tending your burn and he's been teasing you nonstop ever since you two started. "If you're just going to tease me, I'm fine tending my own wound," you said snatching your hand away. "No! no, I'm sorry, come on now, I'll shut up now," Chenle apologizes, grabbing your hands again. 

Park Jisung

You were in daze because of an argument with your boyfriend earlier that you didn't realized that you touched the holder without any mittens. You let out a sharp hiss but it was enough to alert Jisung. Your boyfriend went to the kitchen and finds you holding your burnt hand. As he approaches you, he stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do given that you are two are not talking to each other. He wanted to ask if you're okay but his tongue is holding him back. You two had a small staring contest before he give up, grabs you and then drags you to his room so that he can tend your wound. 

You Deserve the World

Originally written by @avanatural; credit to her for the idea and inspiring me as well.

Summary: Daryl's been insecure about his age starting to show, and is worried he'll lose you. You show him every way he won't.

warnings: comfort, (a lil angst), fluff, implied smut.

wc: 3.4k

Daryl's back ached.

He slid the bow from his back and dropped it onto a wooden side table, letting it clatter loudly. His vest was the next thing pulled off his body, left on the chair beside his bow. Unbuttoning his shirt, the cotton tightened around his biceps, until he finally ripped it from his torso and left the shirt on the ground behind him.

Now freed from the confines of his tight clothing, his arms stretched out, muscles flexing in the process. Daryl glanced around the room per usual, until his eyes came across the mirror in the corner of your room. Slowly, he sauntered towards it, pushing his shoulders down as he approached.

The archer studied himself intently. All of his features remained as they were - same cerulean eyes, distinctive birthmarks, scar crossing over his left eyebrow and part of his cheek, and his rounded nose. Daryl couldn't help the fact of time passing, and he definitely couldn't help the fact that aging was catching up with him. A few new lines on his face became more prominent, and the bags under his eyes from minimal sleep only bore into him further.

He tried to force a smile, but stopped before the realization of wrinkles and other lines made him even more self-conscious. Daryl grunted to himself, before running a hand through the tousled hickory of his hair. Sunlight hit the crown of his head, illuminating its unwashed state, along with the few grey hairs that managed to show themselves. The hairs of his beard were the first on him to become grey without him knowing.

Aging was an aspect of life he couldn't get used to. He didn't want to get used to it either. Though it was only a part of growing older with time. Not only did he grow accustomed to working out more often in order to stay on top of his game, but his hunting agility was having a lower success rate each time he was out there.

On the contrary, he'd been worried about keeping up with his partner.

You, the one of his dreams. If his aging continued at the rate it began, he was worried that you'd grow tired of his older features and desire someone younger than him. Someone better than him.

Daryl knew you were popular amongst the men of Alexandria, those better options only poking at the back of his throat as if it were bile waiting to give. Being in a constant state of hyperawareness whenever you two were out in the community had exhausted him to his core.

Every time one of Deanna's sons or any of the other guys in the community even caught a glance of you from across the courtyard, Daryl wanted to pummel them into the ground, but push you into their arms from his all the same.

Although Daryl felt this way, he realized the strength of your bond with him went deeper than just physical attraction. The two of you cared deeply for one another, and you always tried to clear his mind of any negative thoughts.

You're enough the way you are, my love. I don't want you any other way than that.

With a deep breath, Daryl decided to push the nagging thoughts from his mind and trudge over to the dresser. He fidgeted with the button of his jeans, pulling them off his legs and ending up next to the shirt he'd tossed as well.

There was conveniently another mirror in the corner, one that took the full image of him into account. It was noticeable to him when he'd noticed movement from out of his peripheral vision. It would have only taken a glance to the left before seeing his figure in full length. Stood in only a pair of boxers, his hands sifted through one of the dresser drawers, pulling out a pair of black jeans. A glance downward at his body stopped his movements, and the pair of pants fell from his grip.

Despite everything telling him not to, his eyes drifted to the left. Once the full image of him in the mirror hit his eyes, the disgusting thoughts he had a moment before busted down the door in his mind. Daryl stepped in front of the mirror, jeans left on the dresser.

Cerulean eyes raked over every inch of his body as harmful thoughts flooded his head again. His thighs weren't as taught as they once were, his pecs weren’t as defined. His fingertips grazed over the expanse of his belly, where some scars lay not as prominent as others. Eyebrows furrowed and a scowl made its way onto his face.

His partner was perfect to him, and he wanted to be perfect to them, too.

As if you'd read his mind, you came walking into the room, same smile on your face that made Daryl want to live forever. He hadn't noticed you at first, standing against the doorway. You tilted your head to the side, taking in the view of him in only boxers, hands tracing his stomach.

"Checking yourself out?" you chuckled softly, picking up a book on a dresser near the door.

Daryl's eyes locked on his reflection, his button nose scrunching up.

When he didn't reply with one of his quips or side comments like you were expecting, you took notice of the furrowed eyebrows and slouched state.

You'd noticed something different in Daryl these days. One look at the displeasure on his face, and you realized something was up. More solo hunts, fewer intimate moments in the bedroom.

Daryl, of all people, was insecure about how he looked.

Your lip caught between your teeth, dropping the book back onto the dresser. "Daryl, are you alright?" Shuffling over to him, you placed a hand on his shoulder. The contact made his muscles flex, the warmth of your palm against him growing his enamor for you.

Daryl sighed, knowing he'd been brushing you off every time you asked him if he was okay. His avoidance level had dwindled down to nothing, not wanting to push you away any more than he already had. You were his person, the one he could always confide in, and you listened every single time.

"Do you- Do you think I'm gettin' old?" he questioned under his breath, eyes still unwavering from the mirror.

Your chest tightened at the mere suggestion of his aging. To you, Daryl was the most perfect anyone could ever be- his aura, his personality, his appearance, his quips, even his idiosyncrasies, but most of all, his heart.

"No, I don't," you replied honestly, "You been thinkin' about that a lot, huh?"

Daryl's shoulders stiffened as he finally ripped his eyes away from the view of the mirror, turning completely to face you. Reaching out to cup his cheek in a loving touch, he leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"What made you think about that?" you inquired, letting go of his cheek and trailing your fingers over the soft hairs that adorned his face.

Daryl's eyes opened again, lines on his face reappearing in the furrowed state of his eyebrows. "I know the way those pricks in the town look at ya.. Younger guys."

Your gaze shifted back and forth from his sapphire eyes, the realization hitting you. "Is this about Spencer?"

When you'd first gotten to Alexandria, your relationship with Daryl was just beginning. You hadn't told the rest of your group about it yet, but from the first time you saw the older Monroe, he had his eye on you. He'd admittedly been attractive to you at first, but he had absolutely nothing on your Daryl.

Spencer had pulled you aside the night of Deanna's party, asking you questions about yourself and wanting to get to know you better. His motives seemed innocent but there was a slight glint of mischief in his eye. When he suggested something more perverted, you knew he only saw you as a one night stand and nothing more. You explained to him that you weren't interested, on account of being taken by a different, better man.

Spencer Monroe could never compare to Daryl Dixon.

"He didn't want me like you want me. I could never want that asshole, and I don't." If Daryl knew the things Spencer said about him after you told him you were taken, he would have pummeled his face into the ground.

"I'm way older than you," Daryl mumbled, "One day ya might wanna take him up on that, or any of 'em."

"You really think I want them? That they're better than you?" you questioned, your hand grabbing his.

"Don't ya think so?"

You scoffed, "What could any one of them give me? I know for a fact that they couldn't be as good to me as you are. I'm a damn lucky person to have you. I scored you, Daryl Dixon. Not the other way around. You always had my back, every time I've needed you."

"'Course I do, an' you always got mine, too. I jus' don't see why," He shook his head, "You don't gotta settle for me-"

"You know what? Enough, look into the mirror right here," you stated, grasping his shoulders and turning him to see his figure. "Let's start with your shoulders." You gave them a slight squeeze, flesh emerging from between your fingers. "They're so big and broad, and I'm obsessed with them."

Your statement made a corner of Daryl's mouth jolt upwards, forming just the tiniest bit of smile on his face. His mind brought him back to the memories of you gripping them when intertwined in a hug or kiss, but especially when you were making love.

You shuffled to stand next to him, affectionately running your fingers down his thick forearm. Meeting his eyes in the mirror, you took his hand in yours. "These hands and arms of yours are so strong, especially when you're holding me close, when you touch me. You know I appreciate how handy you are, especially when you're using that crossbow of yours, and working on your bike or cars."

Daryl hummed, intertwining his fingers with yours.

Smiling at his reflection, you continued, "I adore your stomach, know that? You're all muscle and firm where it matters most, but the softness of your stomach doesn't compare to the rest of you. I find that so incredibly sexy, know that?"

"Ya really like that?" Daryl questioned with disbelief, locking his eyes with yours in the reflection.

You nodded, leaning your cheek against his arm before placing a soft kiss on his bicep. "Yeah, I do." You already knew the tension in his body was starting to dissipate. "You wanna know what else I think?"

"Mhm," He replied almost instantly. Daryl felt selfish asking for your compliments, but he knew you'd give them to him every time he asked. It was simply too fulfilling to pass up.

"Your thighs are perfect, and they're such a strong part of you. I love sitting on them in your lap. And this?" You dropped his hand from yours, sliding it behind him to lightly squeeze his butt. He jolted slightly at the contact and smirked. "This is firm and so cute. A lot perkier than mine, too."

Daryl opened his mouth to speak, but your hands began to play with the hem of his boxers near his crotch, silencing him. "I assume this morning is a good example of what I think about this?"

His smirk widened, filling him with satisfaction of the fact that he could still make you feel good in bed.

"Don't even get me started on your pretty face," You shifted, cupping his cheeks with your hands again. Your eyes trailed over his face, taking in his intoxicating features. "Your eyes are so deep, like the ocean. When you look at me, I forget what I'm going to say most times."

Daryl shifted closer, purposely to make you flustered. His eyes met yours in the playful way he'd done a thousand times before, and you recognized the expression immediately.

"Don't do that to me now.." You said, rolling your eyes.

A hearty chuckle erupted from him at your flustered state, wrinkles around his eyes emerging once again.

"Your lips are so damn tempting, pretty and pink like they were made for mine," you went on, "You have perfect teeth and whenever you smile at me, my heart jumps a mile high. I'm also jealous of your birthmark, and how it gets to go everywhere with you on that handsome face of yours. But this..." you took a moment to run your hands along the wispy hairs of his chin and jaw, "is my favorite thing to feel when we kiss."

"Oh, really?" He questioned, that signature smirk of his growing inch by inch, "Guess I better kiss ya more often."

You beamed at his words, a blush rushing onto your cheeks as you let go of his face. "I'm such a lucky woman to have you, such an attractive man, by my side. You say guys notice me, but you aren't aware of just how many women practically drool over you when you're around the town. Warms my heart and makes me jealous at the same time," you confessed.

Daryl's head tilted to the side, "You got nothin' to worry about, sunshine."

"Well, neither do you, got that?"

He sighed, meeting your gaze with enamor filled eyes, another smirk tugging at his lips, "Yes, ma'am."

Daryl leaned down to your face and attached his lips to yours. His kiss was soft and slow, a low hum escaping you. His toned arms surrounded your waist, pulling you in close to his chest.

Your hands flew up around his neck, toying with the long strands, "I'm obsessed with your hair, too." You told him after pulling back from the kiss.

His grasp only tightened around you, arms flexing around your waist, bodies pressed together. Your foreheads slightly touched as you talked quietly.

"I gotta few gray hairs..." He retorted, those large hands of his snaking behind to your lower back.

"Yes.. and? You'd look so hot with gray hair."

"You sayin' ya wanna grow old with me, hun?" He inquired, hands squeezing around your butt now.

You grinned up at him through your lashes, "Of course. That is, if we live long enough to do so."

Daryl sighed, "Sounds good to me, darlin'. Now, I believe you were talkin' about my hair.."

You took the opening to run your hands through his bangs, pushing back the strands of hair that framed his face. "I love your long hair, It's so pretty and wavy, for a man like you. I'd love to braid it sometime, if you'd let me. Don't think a guy like Spencer could pull it off as well as you do."

"You love playin' with my hair, don't ya?" He questioned, voice lowering. His large palms rested comfortably on your behind. Daryl enjoyed touching your butt, even when it wasn't in a sexual way. Because of you, he craved intimacy in its most raw form, and with you, it came even easier.

"Absolutely," you responded, taking away what little distance was left between them and rejoining your lips with his. Daryl picked up on the change in tension between you two and grasped at your behind a lot firmer than before, using his strong grip to push his crotch against yours.

You mewled into his mouth when she felt the tent in his boxers against you, but you weren't done yet. You placed your hands on his broad chest, and pulled back.

"You okay?" Daryl asked, eyes darkened with lust.

Your fingers found the tattoos on his chest, the heart and other small ones littered across his collarbones. "I have more to say, that's all."

"An' what's that?"

"Your body isn't the only thing about you that makes me crazy for you."

The thought of you worrying about him in this state made his heart race, since he hadn't been thinking very highly of himself. The truth was, Daryl had been thinking that way his entire life, and couldn't help it. Brought up by people who only put him down and made him think so little of himself, he weighed his decisions with every one he made. When he met you, though, was the first time in his life he'd witnessed genuine love and support. You managed to bring him back from those moments every single time he got trapped in one.

You knew he deserved to be loved the way he was, with nothing standing in the way between you and his true self. In this world, he deserved to be given the same amount of love and support that Daryl gave to everyone in the community.

Just hearing about what you thought of him, in every way possible, kept him going in the darkest of times.

"Daryl, there's never been anyone in my life like you, you're so good to me," you said, tone in your voice filled with disbelief. "You think anyone else could treat me the same way you do? Those pricks only want to get in my pants, and dropped me like a fly when they realized I wasn't interested. But you, you became my best friend before anything. You became the one person in my life who knew me. Like, really knew me. And then I just.. fell for you in the process. I'm the luckiest person in the world to have you."

You could've sworn a blush crept its way onto his cheeks, but he dropped his head before you could see better. Two of your fingers looped under his chin and lifted it again. "Don't ever hang your head, Daryl Dixon. You are the best man I know. I've never met anybody as caring as you. I see it in everything you do, the way you care about Rick, about that little girl, Jude? It warms my heart to see. You deserve the world, Daryl."

Daryl knew every word out of your mouth was true. He knew you would never lie to him, and even then, you were terrible at it. The minute you got lost in his ocean eyes, every little fib crumbled to nothing. Like all things, Daryl was better at expressing himself with actions, and not many words. He pulled you into another kiss, and it took your breath away. His strong arms hooked under your thighs, scooping your body up into his arms. A squeal threatened to leave your chest, but it only got swallowed by the archer's lips on yours.

Without restraint, he carried you over to your bed, one you both shared on many occasions, letting his weight fall back on top of it. You giggled as you landed on top of him, taking his pretty face into your hands again and slipped your lips between his. He groaned, hands attaching to your waist as you attempted to deepen the kiss.

Daryl slid his tongue across your bottom lip, making you moan into his kiss. In response, he opened his mouth to you, tongue gliding across yours with desire. A moment passed before Daryl pushed you over onto the bed, now hovering over you.

All the kissing made you hot, and pretty soon your hands were clawing at Daryl's boxers, chuckling at you as he pushed them down his legs, leaving him bare between you both.

"Hey, now. Tha's not fair at all, is it?" Daryl questioned, very upset with the fact that you couldn't be more clothed. His hands immediately went for your shirt, tugging it over your head. Your pants and underwear followed, placing hungry kisses along the expanses of your skin. There was something different about Daryl now, he hadn't resumed the usual acts of self-consciousness he had recently been taking part in.

Though his hand reached out to turn the lamp in your room off, he felt a restraint when his fingers met the button. Since the days of his insecurities, he felt safe in the darkness while making love to you. It meant security, and kept him from the nervousness that came with the thought of being judged by you.

But now, he didn't have a reason to hide anything from you anymore. His hand resumed his loving touches on your skin. You loved all of him, every single part. There wasn't anything luckier than that.

"How 'bout I leave this on?" he declared, locking his eyes with yours.

"I'd like that."

beautifully human

pairing: connor (rk800) x f!reader

summary: after noticing the way connor looks at other androids, you worry that you may never have a chance with him. but what you don't know is that he has only ever had eyes for you.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: insecure reader, mentions of death (they literally talk about dying in an elevator) (spoiler alert: it doesn't happen), probably ooc connor, west coast dialect went a little too hard in the dialogue, some very specific physical descriptions that i also tried to keep as general as possible? you'll see what i mean ig

author's note: glad to report that this account is lowkey helping me get over my writer's block, so that's amazing for me. anyway. as usual, feel free to leave any critiques on how i can improve my writing, characterization, etc.! :)

masterlist ⟡ requests

You hated that your investigation brought you to the Eden Club. You didn’t necessarily hate the Eden Club or its workers, but you hated that you had to go with Connor and Hank. It would’ve been embarrassing enough to go with just Hank, but adding Connor to the mix made you want to collapse to the ground and never move again. But you were a professional, so if you had to go with Connor and Hank then you could suck it up for a night. Hopefully.

The moment you stepped inside the club, you were filled with unease. Your stomach churned and your shoulders scrunched up high as if you were trying to hide from the world. To handle your discomfort, you turned cold and distant, observing everything and everyone with an icy glare. You trailed behind Hank and Connor as you scanned your surroundings, doing your very best to look at everything but Connor.

You couldn’t look at Connor in this place without being filled with a displaced sense of anger. You couldn’t help but wonder if he looked at these androids with infatuation or desire. Did he find them beautiful? Did he want them in the same way you wanted him? You knew they were stupid thoughts, but you couldn’t control them. Somehow, Connor had weaseled his way into your heart and refused to leave no matter how hard you tried.

Distracted by your foggy mind, you almost bumped right into Connor when he stopped to admire a Traci, his soft gaze exploring her body through the glass barrier. You watched as the Traci smiled gently at him, her hand reaching forward to touch the glass like she was trying to caress his cheek. Connor didn’t move to reciprocate her action, but he still appeared to be in awe. It only made your scowl deepen.

You hated that you were consumed by jealousy because you knew– deep down– that it stemmed from insecurity. This Traci was made to be beautiful. She was made to be desired and worshipped. In her limited clothing, there wasn’t much left to the imagination. Her body was the epitome of perfect with its soft curves and smooth skin. She was a perfect balance of sweet and charismatic. She was everything that you assumed a man wanted, and androids were no exception. From the way Connor looked at her, you were sure she was everything he wanted too. 

You sighed in frustration before marching away as Hank called to Connor. You refused to let your jealousy– or anything you felt for Connor– get in the way of your investigation. But no matter how hard you tried, your mind was still drawn to him.

Maybe you had been too hopeful, but you really had thought that maybe– just maybe– Connor had felt something for you. Apparently, you were just far more delusional than you thought.

While Hank discussed the crime scene with Officer Miller, you stood to the side looking uncharacteristically cold. With your arms folded over your chest and a hard, almost bored look in your eye, it was clear that you weren’t particularly interested in talking to anyone. You assumed that would be obvious to everyone, androids included. And it seemed that it had been obvious, but that certainly didn’t stop Connor.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Connor watching you with a confused glint. His LED flashed yellow as he analyzed your body language, working to only make your blood boil. You knew there was no reason to be angry with him, so why did your anger persist? Why did you feel so unreasonably jealous? He was just a man, after all, nothing more.

Connor approached you with his hands clasped behind his back, standing beside you and following your cold gaze. He was silent for a moment, pleased to simply be in your presence even when you were acting so stony.

“You’re unusually quiet, Detective,” Connor observed. “This is not within your typical behavioral patterns. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” you answered dismissively. “Don’t you have a body to analyze?”

Connor paused again, pursing his lips in a way that was so oddly human. In a gentle tone, he said, “Well… yes. But that’s usually something we do together.”

“Why?” you hissed, feeling suddenly riled now that Connor was talking to you. Why was he giving you this attention? Why was he acting like he cared about you? You knew he didn’t. At least, your clouded mind let you think he didn’t. “It’s not like you need my help. You can do everything on your own, I’m useless to you.”

Connor turned his body towards you fully, a deep crease settling between his brows. His LED continued to circle yellow as he studied you once again. That made you roll your eyes which seemed to be enough of a hint for Connor. With his LED still glowing yellow, he turned away without another word, allowing you to resume your wallowing in misery. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were still fuming as Hank drove you home. With Connor in the front seat, you were stuck in the back, glaring daggers into his back. How had such a clueless android managed to lure you in and make you jealous purely because he wasn’t interested in you?

As Connor jabbered on about something or other, you stared out the car window absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but imagine the Traci on the other side of the window, reaching out and smiling that perfect smile that made you never want to smile again.

You glanced at Connor as he fell silent. He turned to look out the window, making you cringe at the idea that he truly was thinking of the Traci. But you failed to notice his eyes transfixed on you through the side mirror, his gaze gentle and curious as he admired your stubborn look. He stared at you dreamily the rest of the car ride. 

When you finally reached your apartment building, Hank had barely stopped the car before you were clambering out and slamming the door behind you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you grumbled, having enough decency to give Hank a small wave. 

As you trudged towards your apartment building, you froze at the sound of another car door opening and closing. You cursed under your breath, hesitant to turn for fear of whom you might find. As you glanced over your shoulder, you cursed again as your fear came true. Connor approached you with long strides, leaving behind a very confused-looking Hank.

“I’ll walk you to your apartment,” Connor offered innocently. 

You stared at him blankly and muttered, “Connor, my building is right here. I just need to go up a few floors. I know how to use an elevator, I’ll manage just fine on my own.”

You turned and continued towards your building, not surprised when you heard Connor follow.

“The chances of an elevator-related death are one in 10.5 million,” Connor continued in that matter-of-fact tone that you usually found so endearing. 

When Connor didn’t elaborate, you stopped and turned to him again with a raised brow. You waited for more, but it still didn’t come. Connor just stared at you pleasantly, drinking in your charmingly confused face.

“Okay…,” you said. “So like I said, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But the chance of it happening is still possible, so it’s best if I escort you,” Connor continued. His grin widened as you rolled your eyes in acceptance. As an afterthought, he added, “Just in case.” 

In silence, the two of you made your way up the elevator (where you did not, in fact, die) and to your apartment. You stood outside the door and turned to Connor, ready to send him away in the hopes that if you couldn’t see him then you wouldn’t be overwhelmed by images of him and that Traci. But you knew that wasn’t the case because even when he was long gone you would still think about how you couldn’t be enough for him. You weren’t pretty enough for such an angelic being like him, not when other beautifully crafted androids existed.

“May I come in?” Connor inquired before you could even open your mouth.

No.

You wanted to say no so desperately. You wanted him to leave. You wanted to bury yourself under your bed sheets and never see him again.

But he was still your friend, and you were still a decent enough person. It would be rude to reject him.

“Sure,” you replied softly, opening the door to allow the two of you in.

The moment you closed the door, Connor was already asking questions that you were not at all prepared for.

“You were upset today,” he noted. “Do you want to talk about how you feel?”

“I… what?” you stammered. “Since when are you a therapist android?”

“I’m not a therapist android, but as your companion, I care about your well-being,” Connor answered far too casually for your liking.

Companion? Well-being?

“Yeah, I doubt that,” you mumbled without thinking.

You were stupid to think Connor wouldn’t have heard you. With his sensitive hearing, he heard you loud and clear. Your comment made him tilt his head curiously and narrow his eyes.

“Why would I not care about you?” he asked, the genuine confusion in his voice making your resolve melt. 

“That’s not… it’s just…,” you blabbered, throwing your hands up in exasperation as you struggled to find the right words. “I wouldn’t expect you to care about me the same way–”

You stopped abruptly, eyes wide as your mind finally caught up to your yapping mouth. You could not finish that sentence.

Connor’s eyes narrowed further at your sudden pause. He took a cautious step forward, then another. You knew that he had already noticed the way your heartbeat accelerated, your breath suddenly caught in your throat. “The same way… what?” he repeated, urging you to finish your sentence.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid,” you dismissed. 

Connor murmured your name as if he were scolding a child, raising a brow as a sign of encouragement to finish.

“Well… I wouldn’t expect you to care about me… the same way… the same way I care about you,” you said, the last part coming out far too hurried. 

Maybe if you had just finished your sentence the first time you wouldn’t be in this situation. That was a perfectly normal thing to say to a friend, wasn’t it? Absolutely. Absolutely… But the way you had paused only made you look more suspicious. You knew Connor was smart enough to understand the suggestion of romantic feelings.

“How is it you feel about me?” Connor questioned.

“It doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t feel the same anyway,” you muttered, pushing past him to be anywhere that wasn’t near him.

Before you could get too far, Connor’s iron grip wrapped around your wrist and held you in place. You looked at him with offense, but he knew you meant nothing by it.

“It does matter, Detective,” he whispered lowly. “It matters to me.”

There was no going back now. Connor already got the hint that you cared for him more than you probably should. You might as well say it outright. That was better than being embarrassed and pretending nothing happened. Right?

“I like you, Connor,” you admitted, the words sounding childish in your mouth. “God, this is so embarrassing…”

Connor was silent for a long moment, making you wonder if he actually had figured it out. If he hadn’t… God, you would be mortified. Did he really not know, and you just willingly outed yourself to him?

You risked a peek at Connor to find him already looking at you with a small smile. His hand was still holding your wrist tightly, his skin comfortingly warm against your burning skin. The glint in his eyes made your brows furrow as heat rose to your cheeks.

“Why would you think I don’t care about you?” Connor asked, the quirk of his lips telling you that he found all of this somewhat amusing.

“I mean… yeah, I would think that you care about me. On some level. I’d assume…,” you prattled. “But as a friend, obviously. Connor, I’m not sure you understand what I mean when I say I like–”

“I understand perfectly well, Detective,” Connor interrupted. “So I’ll pose the question once again: why would you think I don’t care about you?”

The confusion was clear on your face. Tilting your head to the side, you turned your body to face Connor slightly, giving him the opportunity to lightly pull your wrist until you were completely facing him. Even when he had you standing where he wanted, he still didn’t let go of your wrist, though he loosened his grasp and held you lightly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your inner wrist soothingly. Your knees felt weak, and you were sure you were going to collapse against him at any second. His touch was so loving that you almost believed he could feel the same way.

You nearly forgot Connor had asked you a question until he gave your arm a light squeeze that snapped you back to attention. He arched both eyebrows, watching you with that humorous glint. 

“I just… Well…,” you faltered. You inhaled sharply, gathering your thoughts before you continued. “I just can’t understand how or why someone like you would be interested in someone like me when there are so many better options. Yeah, I guess… I guess that’s it. I don’t know…”

“Better options?” Connor repeated. The obvious confusion in his voice warmed your heart. It was as if he had never even considered that there could be better options.

“Well, yeah,” you shrugged. “I’m no android, Connor. I’m not… I’m not perfect. I’m not beautiful or stunning or gorgeous. I’m not like that girl you were looking at.”

There was another long pause as Connor struggled to process your words. His LED spiraled yellow as he questioned, “What girl?”

“The Traci,” you explained in exasperation, “at the Eden Club. It looked like you were practically in love with her, and I don’t blame you. She’s the definition of perfect. Not a single flaw in sight.”

“You think you’re flawed?” Connor asked immediately. That was his biggest takeaway?

“Yes, obviously, Connor! I am! And I just find it very hard to believe that someone as beautiful as you could be attracted to someone as… average as me,” you snapped, sounding harsher than you intended.

Connor released your wrist, and for a moment you worried that you scared him off. But then his warm hands were holding your cheeks, his thumbs now slowly running along your cheekbones. He stepped forward until his body was pressed against yours, leaning down until his forehead was nearly touching yours. His eyes latched onto yours, and for a moment, he just held your gaze in silence. He was reveling in the sight of you, so close to him that he could feel your sweet breath against his lips.

“It seems you don’t realize how beautiful you are,” he murmured. “Perhaps I’ll have to explain it to you.”

Connor paused again, searching your eyes for any effort to argue. But you were still so stunned by his sudden proximity that you had nothing to give. When he heard no contradiction, Connor smiled and continued on.

“Maybe you don’t think you’re perfect,” he started, “but I do. Everything you see as a flaw, I see as beautiful. It makes you you. It makes you so… human. And maybe you can’t understand because of it, but there’s something so pure about being human. Just being human makes you beautiful. But you… you’re different. You’re above them all.”

There was a strangely desperate look in Connor’s eyes like he was pleading with you to understand. Exhaling slowly, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against your own. He closed his eyes, his LED shifting from yellow to blue and back again as he tried to sift through the swarm of emotions.

“I don’t know why it’s you, but it is,” he whispered, his voice nearly too quiet for you to hear. “I just can’t help but notice everything about you. I love the wrinkles on your forehead when you’re confused to the point of frustration. I love when only one side of your hair is brushed because you’re too lazy to brush the other. I love when your lip bleeds because you’re biting it while you’re thinking and you don’t even notice. I love…”

Connor stopped and pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on your cheeks. His LED circled red once, the worry on his face far too obvious to your keen eyes. When you didn’t say anything, Connor tried to pull away, but you didn’t let him.

Your hands quickly moved to rest over top his, holding him in place. You looked up at him with eyes full of admiration and wonder as if an angel had come and graced the earth. Maybe that’s what he was, an angel. You would believe it. With that pretty face and those sweet words, you could easily be fooled.

As you eyed Connor’s face, the corners of your lips quirked into a smile. Maybe you could be enough for him. He seemed to think so. It was that thought alone that drove you to lean forward and press the faintest of kisses to Connor’s lips. It was barely a peck, and as you pulled away, Connor leaned forward to chase after your warmth. The gesture made you laugh as you whispered against his lips.

“I love how human you are.” 

Too Much - Azriel x Reader

Pairing: Azriel x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst to fluff. Rhys and Cassian acting like asses. Misunderstanding. Self-hatred. Very poor communication skills.

Synopsis: You had always been clingy. This had never caused any problems, until one night you overhear a conversation, where he admits he needs space from you. What happens when your clinginess suddenly disappears?

Word Count: 2k+

Based off of this request!

He was your everything. When you were together, every moment felt like magic. A calmness that you never thought you would experience.

You grew up with a cold father and an emotionally unavailable mother. Your older siblings excluded you from everything, forever treating you like a child. You hadn't known love until you met Azriel.

The combination of all of these things caused you to be . . . well, for a lack of better words - clingy. You knew it, Azriel knew it, and those who you were close with also knew it. Azriel had never complained about your constant need for some form of physical touch - whether it be your arms wrapped around his bicep, or his hand rested atop your thigh. Gods knew Azriel also needed those touches, his horrific childhood making him starved for touch.

When Azriel was away on a mission, you frequently tugged on the bond to ensure he was safe, but also to satisfy your growing need to feel near to him.

For over a decade of being mated, no problems had ever arisen from these things. Until now.

You had just arrived at the Townhouse from girls' night with Mor, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain - all of whom were still out together. You had left early because you missed Azriel and were hoping to spend a bit of time together before falling asleep.

You knew him and his brothers were having a few drinks while waiting for their mates to return, and so you turned the familiar corners hoping to hear the voice you so desperately yearned for.

Your footsteps were quiet throughout the halls - you had learned from the best, of course. When you finally heard the deep timbre of your mate's voice, you paused at the serious tone.

"What is it that you're asking me right now?"

What could they possibly be talking about? Did something happen?

"Come on Az, you know we're right. Isn't it somewhat annoying?" Cassian urged. "I know that if Nesta never left my side, we would both certainly get sick of eachother far too quickly."

Wait - were they talking about you? Your heart sank. Azriel's shadows wouldn't inform him of your presence, always preferring to take your side ever since you met all those years ago.

You shouldn't be eavesdropping on their conversation, especially when they thought they were alone and free to talk about personal matters, even if they were talking about you.

Just as you turned to walk away and give them privacy once more, Azriel spoke.

“Yes, she can be clingy.” He sighed, and you could almost picture him rubbing his hand against his face, “We would never get sick of eachother, Cassian. We don’t argue like you two do.”

“Oh whatever brother - arguing builds the tension.” You could hear the smirk in Cassian’s words.

"But Azriel," Rhysand began, "It has to be irritating, right? To always have to worry if she is okay without you? To have to always be by her side."

Gods, were you that bad? Why had no one said anything before now?

"Sure," he muttered, "I guess you could say it's annoying." While he sounded resigned, he had agreed with his brothers. About how your behavior was annoying.

You felt tears start to build and your chest started burning. You ensured that your side of the bond was closed off so he couldn't feel your sadness. Your embarrassment.

"Well why don't you say something? Tell her you need space sometime?" Rhysand questioned.

"Yes!" Cassian jumped in. "That is a great idea, Rhys. Just tell her that sometimes you need time alone. That you can't always be with her at every moment of the day."

Tears fell at that moment, after hearing your mate's brothers - the males you saw as brothers - speak about you like a problem, like something to be solved. It was like being a child again, in a home where no matter what you did, you were not good enough. Not enough. Too much.

And Azriel had agreed.

"I guess you're right. I'll talk to her when I get home tonight. Tell her I need space."

And that did it for you. You walked away silently, just the way that your mate had taught you, and made your way to your shared house on the other side of Velaris. You didn't remember the walk there, nor entering your home, eyes blurry the whole trip.

Even after the words you overheard that night, all you wanted was him. As you tucked yourself into bed, his side felt so empty. You wanted his arms wrapped around you. Your eyes closed, and you finally allowed yourself to sob.

Two sleepless hours later, you heard the front door open. Your body tensed, preparing itself for the conversation soon to come. You listened to the familiar footsteps move around the house for a few minutes, before the door to your shared bedroom cracked open.

Thankfully, you had stopped crying an hour ago, feeling numb to the situation. Knowing that he would easily clock that you were pretending to sleep, you didn't bother trying.

You rolled over to face the door, and forced a tired smile at him. He smiled softly back at you.

"Hi beautiful," he spoke quietly, "did I wake you?"

"Yes," you lied, "but it's okay."

"I'm sorry." He murmured as he walked towards you to give you a kiss on the forehead. At least he wasn't angry at you. Tears threatened to once again make an appearance.

You whispered, "It's okay, Az."

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart."

And you relished in the familiar sounds of him readying himself to go to sleep, praying the normalcy lasted for as long as possible before he confronted you about your overbearing behavior.

He slid into his side of the bed and pulled you close. You let him, and selfishly allowed yourself to savor the intimacy for one more night before you backed off.

The idea of being unable to sleep the rest of the night left your mind as he whispered, "Goodnight my love."

Sleep came easily after that.

The next day, and the ones after that, were without any confrontation from your mate regarding your clinginess. He must be afraid to. He must be afraid that you'll freak out and not listen to his pleas for time alone. Regardless of his hesitation to ask for space, you were happy to give it to him. You couldn't bear the idea of making him uncomfortable.

You sat further away from him when reading together, when he was gone you only tugged on the bond after he did first, the only physical contact you had was initiated by him, and you tried to give him alone time - more than you ever had before.

In your mission to give Azriel space, you missed the concerned gaze that followed your form every time you came near.

On the second day, he had confronted you. However, not how you had been expecting ever since that night.

"Are you okay, my love? You're acting differently."

You feigned confusion. "Of course I’m okay. How am I acting different?"

You had never seen your mate at such a loss for words, mouth opening and closing just as fast. He finally managed, "I feel like you're so far away."

"I'm right here, Az." And you reached out to grasp his hand and rub a thumb along the scarred skin. "Always."

He nodded, and wrapped you tightly in a hug. He must just be unused to you being less clingy. You're doing the right thing by allowing him his space.

That's what you told yourself anyway. You forced yourself to look past the sad look in his eyes, and remember his words from two nights ago.

I'll talk to her when I get home tonight. Tell her I need space.

He needed space. You were going to give it to him - no matter how much it hurt.

Everything came to a head exactly a week after that night.

You were laying on the couch in you and Azriel's home reading a new book, when he casually said "I think I'm going to run to the market to get some groceries."

It was almost a ritual - he would tell you he is going to the store, and you would ask to come with him.

Not this time.

"Okay Az, be safe," you smiled at him, "I love you." And turned back to your book.

He stayed put where he stood in the doorway, and you could practically feel his inner turmoil, so potent it became tangible.

You jumped at his sudden movement as he walked quickly in your direction before kneeling in front of where you were on the sofa. He grasped your hands in his own and as your eyes met his, you noted the despair filling his gaze.

"What did I do? Please tell me so I can fix it. Please."

You sat up abruptly in shock. You hadn't realized he was hurting so badly.

"Azriel," you said softly while running your thumb against his cheek and he leaned into your touch, "you didn't do anything wrong, my love."

The tears building in his eyes finally fell, and you felt yourself panic while you wiped them away. He very rarely cried. "No, no. I know I did something wrong, you've been avoiding me. You always want to come with me to the store. Please tell me-"

"Azriel. You did nothing. It was me. All me." His gaze changed from one of despair to one of confusion. "I realized I was being overbearing, and you deserve someone who respects your wishes."

"My wishes? What are you-"

"You deserve to have space from me. I understand that now and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable for so long."

His eyes widened in realization and then filled with panic of his own.

"You overheard us that night." You nodded. "My love, oh my sweet mate, no. No, gods, I don't think you're overbearing, you don't make me uncomfortable, and I certainly don't need space from you."

Your brows furrowed in confusion. "But you said-"

"I know what I said, and gods I wish I could take it back. I only agreed with what they were saying because I knew they wouldn't let it go, and I simply wanted to change the subject. It’s why I never actually came home and asked for space. I don’t want it."

"So, you don't think I'm clingy?"

"Oh I think you're clingy," your heart filled with hurt once more, but he made sure you kept looking at him with a hand on the side of your face, "but I love that about you. You're clingy, but I am too. I need you with me every second of every day, and even that isn’t enough.

"They will never understand our relationship. They don't understand how we feel and they don't need to. I want your clinginess, I want your hand in mine always, I want you with me when I am shopping, or with our family, or on a mission.

You started crying, and then you started laughing - out of relief, and embarrassment for how you had acted this past week.

"I'm sorry, Az. I should have talked to you instead of pulling away from you."

His palms rested on both of your cheeks and you stared into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Do not feel bad. You had every right to feel that way. If I heard you say what I did, I would have shut down immediately." You let out a sad laugh. "I shouldn't have agreed with them that night, I just wanted to end the conversation. It's not an excuse though- I should have argued with them until they understood that I love being around you all the time."

You shook your head. "No, I understand why you did. This is just a horrible misunderstanding."

"I will talk to my brothers, and tell them to stop questioning how we exist in our relationship. I don't know why they don't understand. How do they not want to be with their mates all the time?"

You laughed, and he chuckled with you.

"You're right. I think they're the weird ones."

"Agreed."

You stared at each other, so much love shared between your gazes.

"I love you so much, Azriel."

"I love you more than anything."

A few seconds passed, before you blurted, "Can I come with you to the store now?"

His head tilted backwards and he laughed heartily, before wrapping you in his arms and up off the sofa.

"I wouldn't have left without you."

A/N: I know this is a very popular trope, therefore, I suspect this has likely been written for Azriel several times. If anyone feels this is too similar to their own version of this trope, please lmk!!!

secrets i have held in my heart

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

summary: when a slytherin classmate asks you out, you gladly accept. but why is sirius so upset about it?

warnings: angst + fluff

word count: 3.0k

note: not sure if the title makes sense but i was listening to i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys while writing this soo.... enjoyy

“who were you just talking to? seemed awfully friendly.”

a smile pulled at your lips as you approached your friends, grinning at lily’s question. “vincent richmond. he's in our year.” you replied.

“who!?”

and that would be sirius black, who nearly spat out his juice at your mention of the boy’s name. “vincent richm-” you go to repeat but sirius interjects again. “no, i heard you. what i meant to say was.. why?”

you ignored sirius and turned back to lily, “as i was saying, he asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend.” you tell her excitedly.

“he what!?”

“sirius please, i'm trying to have a conversation with lily.”

sirius shook his head, moving closer to you. “so what did he say when you rejected him?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. you rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. “i didn't reject him.” his eyes grow wide, “you didn’t?” he almost whispers as if saying it too loud might get him in trouble.

“i didn’t.”

“why not?” his voice is much louder now. you look at him with disbelief and confusion. “why not? uhh i don't know. maybe because he's nice-”

“nice? he's a slytherin! lily, tell her she can't go on this date.” he looks over to your friend. she shrugs, “she can make her own decisions, sirius. in fact, i encourage it.”

sirius’ mouth opens in shock. “encourage it? why?”

“well, she's been hung up on-” she's cut off by a nudge. her eyes widen as she realized what she's almost revealed. meeting your glare, she offers you an apologetic smile.

“i mean, you know, it's just a date. let her have fun.” she awkwardly stumbles through her sentence, shamefully looking down to her food once she’s finished.

“homework!” you suddenly call out. “i forgot my potions essay in the dorm, i'll go fetch it.” it wasn't a lie, you really did forget, but thankfully it gave you the opportunity to leave the conversation and get away from sirius.

you couldn't believe him. why was he so against you and vincent? it annoyed you to no end, or rather it confused you. but that seemed to be your friendship with him, confusing. sirius black was in possession of something very dangerous, charm. and unfortunately, you fell victim to it.

everyone knew he was a natural flirt. all he had to do was flash a cheeky smile and girls fell at his feet. and oh, how you tried not to fall for it, tried to resist. but the heart is a fickle thing, is it not?

but the risk of your friendship was too big. during your time at hogwarts, sirius had become a very good friend of yours. he was spontaneous, fun, but most of all loyal. you treasured the relationship you had with him, and not wanting to jeopardize it, you decide to keep your growing feelings for the boy to yourself. who even knows if he felt the same?

it was hard at first. so much so, that lily took notice how your gaze lingered on him, how you laughed a little louder at his jokes. once she confronted you, you knew you couldn't keep it from her. however, telling her of your feelings had proved to be helpful. somehow getting everything off your chest aided you in getting over the long haired boy. although, not completely.

once you retrieved your homework, you quickly made haste so as not to miss your first class when you were stopped by sirius. “what?”

“are you really going to hogsmeade with richmond?”

you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i am.” sirius’ shoulders sag at your answer, head slowly hanging down. “but why?” you stayed silent for a moment, waiting until sirius meets your eyes once again. “because he asked me.”

“you can't go out with him.” he insists to which you rolled your eyes. “why is that?” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared him down. “b-because he's a slytherin!”

“so?” you tilt your head at him. “so? so, he's evil?” he exclaims. “evil? sirius, you don't even know him.”

“neither do you!”

your hand comes up to your temple, rubbing it in frustration. “exactly, so i'm going on this date to decide for myself what kind of person he is.”

“but-”

“why are you against this? as my friend, i’d think you want me to be happy.”

sirius jaw clenches at your words, “is that what you think? i don't want you to be happy?” you press your lips together as you shrug your shoulders, “i don't what else to think, sirius!”

“i’m only acting this way because i want you to be happy; i'm looking out for you!”

“looking out for me? you haven't given me a valid reason as to why i shouldn't go out with vincent.”

“yes i have.”

“no, you've only shown your contempt for him about twenty times over.”

“i told you, he's tricking you. he’s a snake.”

“because that's the only reason someone would ever express interest in me. to make me the butt of some joke?”

sirius looks taken aback at your statement, “that is not at all what i said, you are not listening to me.”

“i think i've listened enough.” you huff. the tension is high, a few of your fellow students lingering in the hallway to listen in on the argument. the both of you are practically fuming with anger. “oh have you?” sirius snarks. you nod at him. he shakes his head, “you know, i'm only looking out for you,” his voice is stern. “i don't want to see you get hurt.” he added.

“i can take care of myself.”

sirius nodded, lips pursed as he let out a sigh, “fine. but don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit!” he called out before turning on his heel. “don't worry, i won’t need to!” you yell at his retreating figure.

-

it's hogsmeade weekend, which means it's time for your date with vincent. you had been giddy about it all week, save for the spat you had with sirius. you haven't spoken to him since, not that he made any effort either.

nonetheless you were gonna go on this date and you were gonna have a good time, regardless of what sirius thinks.

with the help of the girls, you picked out a great outfit and did your hair. after a small pep talk from your friends, you were off to hogsmeade. vincent told you he'd meet you at the three broomsticks and from then on you'd see where the day takes you. the girls sent you off while they went to honeydukes, wishing you good luck as they did so.

-

“she’s really going on the date.”

“sorry mate.” james comforted sirius as he laid on his bed, head buried in a pillow. the boys had decided to sit this hogsmeade weekend. mostly for sirius’ sake. he didn't want to risk the chance of running into you, of running into you and vincent. “it's just one date, pads. who knows what’ll come of it.” james continued. “but now she's angry at me.” sirius groaned.

“i don't blame her.” remus decides to speak up. sirius lifts his head from the pillow. “et tu, moony?”

“you were being a git. she's right to be angry with you.”

“i was only trying to warn her- how could she go out with him?”

“well, i'm sure if you told her the actual reason you don't want her going on this date, she wouldn’t currently be on the date.” remus pointed out, james nodding in agreement. “he's right, pads.”

“oh, what do you know? you've been pining after lily for the past six years and she still won't give you the time of day.”

“okay, i know you didn't mean that. you're hurt because the girl you're in love with is currently on a date with someone else. so i forgive you. cheap shot, though.”

sirius gasps, “woah, woah. in love? i’m not in love with y/n.” he says, looking up to his friends who now have unamused looks on their faces. “i'm not! wormy, back me up here.” sirius urges peter, who looks away awkwardly, not saying anything. sirius mouth falls open. “really, wormtail?”

“it's pretty obvious, padfoot.” peter spoke softly, james and remus both hum in agreement. “obvious to everyone but him. and y/n, apparently.” remus adds. sirius shakes his head.

“i'm not in love. she's my friend and i want the best for her.” james goes to interject but sirius continues, “okay maybe i have a little crush, but can you blame me? she's amazing. she's so smart and brave. and funny. and i love spending time with her, it's the best part of my day-”

james, remus and peter all share knowing glances as sirius rambles on, fighting off smiles when sirius gets up to pace around the room all the while still talking.

“.. her hair always sits so pretty and she smells amazing and it's not that i don't want her to date, i just don't want her dating anyone but me-” sirius pauses in his rant and his pacing. his eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen as if he came to a realization.

“i’m in love with y/n.”

“finally!” the boys shout in unison at his revelation, getting up to pat him on the back. they celebrate for a bit before sirius freezes. “i have to stop that date.”

-

it had been thirty minutes and vincent still hasn't shown up. you'd stood outside the three broomsticks for five minutes before deciding to go in to look for him. when he wasn't inside, your mood started to deflate, but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. so you went back outside and kept on waiting.

while your patience was growing thin, your anger was getting stronger. you were ready to leave and look for your friends when you heard vincent’s voice.

“i told you!” as he came closer into view, you saw that he wasn't alone. he was joined by a group of boys. and they were laughing, some were even pointing at you. furious, you stomp over to vincent.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting?”

the smug look on his face doesn't falter, “30 minutes? give or take?” he smirks at you and your face drops. “what?”

vincent let out a barking laugh, “oh, you didn't actually think i was interested in you, did you?” your eyes widen in shock, unable to find the words. “oh you did, didn’t you? too bad.”

your fists clench at your side at the sound of his voice, his laughter, his friend’s laughter. “so what, this was all just some dumb joke?”

“a bet, dollface. i suppose i should thank you, i'm a few galleons richer because of you. pay up, fellas!”

“you're awful.”

“good thing i don't care.” his friends break out into laughter once more, oh the dreadful sound. you were about to storm off but not before reaching for your wand and casting a few jinx spells.

-

you were currently being comforted by lily and marlene. they'd found you in the common room, sobbing on the couch. you would have gone up to your dorms but since everyone was at hogsmeade you had settled for the common room.

your sobs have stopped by now, but tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “i'm such an idiot.” you sniffled. “no, you're not. he’s the idiot.” marlene assured, her hand comfortingly resting on your back. “she’s right. you are an amazing girl and he's an absolute arse for doing that to you.” lily spoke.

“merlin, he was right.” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. lily and marlene share a confused look, “who? vincent.”

“no,” you groan, “sirius-”

frantic footsteps can be heard suddenly, interrupting you. they get louder and louder until they reach the common room. you freeze at the sound of his voice. all four of the marauders are now in the room. you quickly wipe away at your tears and attempt to regulate your breathing. they spot lily and marlene first.

“girls, have you seen y/n-” james’ voice falters as he walks closer and spots you on the couch. at his abrupt silence, sirius quickly runs over to see why james had stopped talking. sirius freezes at the sight of you. surrounded by tissues. eyes red and puffy and cheeks flushed.

remus and peter soon join them, equally shocked at the situation. “what happened?” remus spoke softly, voice concerned. “nothing.” you quickly say, hoping they didn't hear the crack in your voice. “but you're crying.”

“i'm fine.”

“are you sure-”

“yes!” you look up to see the boys’ worried looks, you heave a sigh as you feel another tear falling down. not trusting your voice, you gesture to lily and marlene, giving them the okay to tell them what happened.

“vincent.”

sirius’ jaw clenches at the name, he has been quiet all this time, his eyes never leaving you. “the date was just some stupid bet with his friends. to see how long y/n would wait for him.” the boys gasp as their faces contort into disbelief, shock and anger.

sirius huffs, nostrils flaring as his fist clench at his side. he quickly turns to leave the room, ready to give vincent a piece of his mind when remus stops him. “don’t do anything stupid. you need to be here for her right now.” sirius sighs before realizing that remus is right and turns back to you.

“that’s awful, y/n. what a git.” james curses, shaking his head sympathetically. everyone nodded in agreement.

“are you okay?” sirius asks, the room falling silent. standing up from the couch, you finally meet his eyes, his familiar grey orbs bring a sense of comfort despite the tension between the two of you. you nod at him. “you were right.” you whispered. when he says nothing you continue, “he was bad news and i should’ve listened to you. could you gloat at a later time, though? not really in the mood.” your voice is shaky as more tears escape.

“and don't worry, i won't come crying to you.”

sirius lets out a sigh, “what if i come to you?”

you cautiously watch as sirius strides over to you, opening his arms and bringing you into his chest, nestling his face into your hair. you tense up for a moment before melting into him, wrapping your arms around him.

lily gestures for everyone to leave, nodding her head at the door. they all follow suit, quietly exiting the room to give you some privacy.

you start sobbing quietly as sirius holds you close. you feel his hand come up to stroke your head. “i’m sorry.” you snicker. sirius pulls back, enough so he can cup your face. “hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” he assures you. you shake your head. “i do. i should've listened you and then we fought-”

“that was my fault.”

“but you were right about him.”

“i didn't want to be! everything i said was out of pure jealousy. if i knew what he was up to, trust me, i would have been a lot more persistent.”

“you were jealous?”

sirius looks down at you with a fond smile, “love, i'm jealous of anyone who holds your attention for more than a minute.”

your mouth slightly opens at his statement. sirius lets his words sink in. it’s a confession. of sorts. he so badly wants to scream how utterly in love he is with you, but he decides he’ll tell you tomorrow. with your favorite flowers, maybe some sweets from honeydukes. and definitely in a more romantic setting.

“just a heads up, me and the guys are definitely gonna make vincent and his foul little friends pay. i'm sure james already has some ideas.”

you let out a laugh, “no need, right now they're all covered in boils and throwing up slugs.” you tell him proudly. sirius gives you an amused look, “i've taught you well.”

-

some time later the both of you are on the couch, his arms around as your head rests on his chest. some of your housemates had come and gone, pausing as they saw the two of you entangled together.

sirius absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you engaged in conversation about anything and everything. your tears had stopped long ago and now you could barely remember the entire vincent fiasco. now you feel at ease, at peace. in his arms.

“...you should've seen snape’s face. oh, it was priceless-” sirius pauses his story as he feels your breathing even out. when he looks down, he finds your eyes closed, your face cuddled into his chest. he couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as he watched you.

careful not to wake you up, he adjusts slightly on the couch so you can stretch out more comfortably, movement freezing when you stir. once he feels you settle once more, his hand comes up to stroke the top of your hair. you nuzzle more into his chest at the gesture and sirius hopes you don't feel the rapid beating of his heart.

he contemplates on waking you up, you probably would be more comfortable on your bed, but he selfishly decides against it, opting to hold you in his arms a little while longer.

a few moments pass and you're still sleeping soundly on sirius’ chest. he looks down to your face and heaves a sigh. the events from earlier are still at the back of his mind. the nerve of vincent richmond.

“you did not deserve that.” he whispers softly. “you are so fucking precious and you don’t realize, huh?” his thumb traces over your cheek, “you deserve the world and everything beyond,” he breathes into your hair. “and i will make it my life’s mission to give you just that.” he pressed a soft kiss to your head before stroking over your hair once more.

tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything. how deeply he feels for you, how you make his heart swell with a simple smile, how he cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything he just said and he’ll make sure you're awake to actually hear him.

fortunately, you were always a light sleeper.