Frosted Fangs

Frosted fangs

Absolutely one of my favs. And in my fandom obsessed mind, there are a few people I can see doing this.

Book of the Week: Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage

Author: Qian Shan Cha Ke (千山茶客)

Genre: ancient setting, josei

Rating: M (very mature, dark themes but not too graphic of depictions)

My Synopsis: What happens when a girl gets tired of being nice and decides to go apeshit? You get Shen Miao, our adorable 30+ year-old protagonist recently stuffed back into her 14-year-old self and ready to eat the flesh and drink the blood of her enemies! Using this new lease on life, she’ll methodically and maliciously ruin every antagonist’s life using the tools in her versatile skillset, including: knowledge of the future, a psychological understanding of assholes, weaponized gender stereotypes, and men. And lest we forget our love interest, Xie Jing Xing: the boy/man (cause god forbid the author know how old anyone BUT Shen Miao is…) who thought he had it all figured out until he discovered that Shen Miao is a horny drunk. See just how far they’ll go to bathe in the blood of their enemies while keeping their loved ones safe in this very long but extremely satisfying novel.

My Actual Review: It’s so satisfying to see a previously downtrodden character scheme her way into a happy ending, and Shen Miao fucking deserves it. Some reviews that I’ve seen have claimed that the LI eventually takes over her revenge schemes, but I didn’t see it. They just partner up and she uses his manpower to do what she wants. There are also places where their separate goals intersect, so it just makes more sense for him to do the cleanup. The thing about Shen Miao is that she has no issues with letting others do the work for her, especially if it’s against people she wasn’t invested in putting work against to begin with. It’s the empress in her, I fear. As for the main pair as a couple, I loved their every interaction, and their descent into romance felt natural and gratifying. Greatest thing about this romance is the fact that it truly kicks off because Xie Jing Xing did not know to guard against horny drunk Shen Miao lmao!

The translation is pretty good outside of some clunky grammar, but once you train your eyes to glaze over the the five-millionth time the translator inserts directly into the story to complain about how often the LI is described as hot (unlike every other character, I guess???) as if this book is their early 2000s fanfic, it gets even better! Another thing that may or may not be here nor there is that this author is really weird with age consistency. Like, “MC is forever un-aging while everyone else ages 2 years every few months” weird. Shen Miao is forever 14 until the time skip in which she is forever 16, while Xie Jing Xing goes from “the same age as the students” to “17/18ish” to “vaguely in his 20s” during the same course of time where we literally never see Shen Miao acknowledge a birthday in any year. As for more serious content warnings, this story involves underage relationships (including non-explicit sex, marriage, and pregnancy), rape as a weapon, (assumed) incest between cousins, child abuse, and described but not explicitly shown torture. Though there are some humorous parts, this is not a lighthearted story. Read if you want something dark with an ultimate happy ending.

Translation: complete

ChubbyCheeks

Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage: Intro

重生之将门毒后 The Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage By: Qian Shan Cha Ke (千山茶客) A short post on all the summary and teasers tha

random observations about kudos/hits ratios on ao3

so i've been reading fic on ao3 since uhhhh about 2016? 2015 maybe? and writing since 2018 ish. during those years i've made a few observations about common ao3 reader/author behaviors. i thought i'd share them with the obvious caveat that i am limited to the fandoms i've been in and my own personal experiences

One-Shots

generally the standard for one-shots is a 1/10 kudos/hit ratio. meaning if a fic has 3,000 hits, it has at least 300 kudos.

if a fic has a kudos/hit ratio below 10%, it probably has an unsatisfying ending. i almost never see the ratio lowered for poor writing quality.

the exception is fics tagged Unhappy Ending or Hurt No Comfort. those get less hits but the people reading know what they're getting in to. those fics will generally stay within a 10% range.

generally fluff one-shots or fics that are all comfort, no hurt have the highest ratios of any category of fics, sometimes reaching as high as 20%.

Multi-Chaptered Fics

these fics are damn lucky if they reach 10% lmaooo

this is a gradient of sorts, though. complete fics with 2/3 chapters have a much higher chance of being near a 1/10 kudos/hit ratio, while those decade-long 400k 50 chaptered epics are probably near 1%.

based on how ao3 hits work, i would guess that this is because there's a higher chance of ao3 registering another hit even if the reader is just reading the latest updates.

basically, a 2-chapter fic started and finished within two weeks has a very good chance of being above the 10% ratio. that really long fic you spent a week reading three years ago which made you feel like you just ran a marathon? not a chance.

a brief tangent into chapter lengths: a higher length correlates with higher quality. i want to emphasize (actually, i want to tell twelve-year-old self this, but 12 y/o me is beyond our help now) that quantity does NOT make quality. just because you can squeeze an extra thousand words into chapter 3 doesn't make the story any better. however, in general, the writing quality of a 30k fic with 3 chapters will be higher than that of a 30k fic with 30 chapters.

there are exceptions! i once read a very long fic with very long chapters where the writing was, for lack of a better descriptor, extremely childish. the author mostly rotated the same ten verbs around and around for 100k. also sometimes you read a 400-word one-shot that mentally destroys you for weeks.

of course, at the end of the day none of this matters. i wrote a barely decent 42k 5-chapter fic which is somehow over the 10% ratio. i cannot for the life of me understand why this is. it's not good, you guys. it's really not. on the other hand, i wrote a 37k one-shot which is below the 10% ratio. the kudos/hit ratio has not changed how i view the quality of those fics, it just convinced me that some of y'all have no taste.

these really are just random observations i've made from my six ish years putting fic on the good old Archive. it's not meant to be a reading guide, just something that makes you go "huh."

Ironically Jason actually is related to the original Addams’. That’s why he can crawl out of his grave.

Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.

Toasty

lullaby