I Have A Severe Grievance With The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes Fandom.

I have a severe grievance with the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes fandom.

First and foremost: Blond wavy hair pretty boy Snow? Mwah, a distinguished gentleman, AMAZING, I LOVE IT, PERFECT! He has a very punchable look to him (lovingly) and fits into my type chart of submissive and breedable quite well.

Buzzcut Snow on the other hand? EW. EW THAT IS A MAN. IT TURNED ME OFF TO HIM SO BAD I SWEAR THAT IS NOT THE TWINK THAT I KNOW GET HIM OUTTA HERE UGH

I had a visceral reaction once he lost his pretty privilege and I couldn’t look at him the same after it. In my head, they are fully two different characters. Cause one I can put on his knees and words of affirmation him into a drooling mess, the other would call me a slur and would shoot me point blank for looking at him wrong.

Which brings me to me SECOND POINT

THERE IS NO, NONE, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA, SNOW X READER FICS WHERE WE ARE FEM DOM!!

LIKE EXCUSEEEEEE ME

PRETTY BOY OVER HERE’S LOOKING FOR VALIDATION AND PRAISE LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND YOU TELL ME HE’S STRICTLY A TOP??? Do I have a type? Yes. For sure, no question. Am I making it everyone’s problem? Also yes. Let me peg the dictator.

And don’t give me that “Snow always lands on top” business cause he can get on top of this DI—

Also for your consideration (and my enjoyment), some pictures of the pretty boy in question under the cut

Buddy you could've worded that differently methinks

My fav part in Stayed Gone is when Al is bullying him, Vox tries to physically block Al's radio

And then the next scene it shows that Vox didn't block shit and just recreated Alastor's radio on his TVs to rp himself doing literally anything to effect the situation meanwhile in reality nothing has actually changed

Which is??? Honestly???? So embarrassing for him. Why do you have Al's radio room saved like a fucking screensaver you absolute gay loser

Istg one sided radio static has my stomach in KNOTS I LOVE IT

Favorite aspect of Alastor revealed in the show has gotta be that he loves being the center of attention. He's said to be an enigma, yet he thrives on people being curious about him. He wants to know what people think of his deal with Charlie. He wants people to wonder why he has been missing for seven years. And the majority of the few times we see his smile grow tense is when his mystery is disregarded.

Which explains why he enjoys his rivalry with Vox. Vox's obsession is a reliable source of attention for him. No matter what Alastor does, Vox will be there trying to undermine him. And watching him try is a dual source of enjoyment: it is fun to see his enemy stumble and glitch in frustration, but damn does Alastor also enjoy being in the spotlight, even if in the mind of just one person.

Welcome to the circus concept dib

I want a spin off following Grace and Pan. Her being the star she deserves to be and him accidentally becoming very involved in the illegal art trade as he hunts down relics for Hecate. Both being disgustingly in love and hosting dance parties in the Underworld.