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UAGAUAHAGAHAHAGUUGHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭‼️‼️⁉️‼️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

house of cards

my first time doing linoleum.. ofc i had to do elliott reference

Arda: Polished Malachite stalactite,  from Copper Crescent in Congo.

Adela:….so is anyone going to acknowledge the elephant in the room?

Arda: Malachite is a poisonous mineral. Please do not fuck the malachite stalactite.

Lenox: Barbara, do you know anyone else that can confirm or deny this? I’m curious.

Barbara: Sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of my geologist friends to just attach this to an email with the subject line “EXPLAIN”.

Hyejin: I know a few things about gemstones. I’m a bit rusty, but malachite is just copper carbonate, and it’s very common in antique and new jewelry, so… it wouldn’t kill you? Though, it’s bad if you cut or polish it, and since it’s rather porous I think bacteria could grow. 

Hart: It doesn’t like acidic environments, though, so it would degrade and…. dye…. your places. It would also wreck your flora, most likely. I… guess maybe with a condom?

Arda: Guys. It’s poisonous. There’s a reason why no one uses it in makeup anymore. Do. Not. Fuck. The. Rock. Please just get a normal dildo.

Jenny:Doesn’t it explode in water?

Hyejin: Well… no. I think you’re thinking of pure sodium? It is solluble in water though. So it would poison you more quickly. 

hot take of an elliott hc - tw addiction, cigarettes/smoking

elliott used to smoke cigarettes during his youth and college days. he was a fan of 1920s french films and thought he would look cool like the actors who smoked if he did it. he did look pretty hot with a cigarette between his lips, but after moving to pelican town, he began cutting back on his consumption because he didn't want to pollute the beautiful valley with smoke.

yet, he occasionally smokes a cigarette when stressed and his consumption skyrockets during periods of writer's block. however, when he meets the farmer and his habit is revealed, the farmer brings him a box of lollipops to help him replace the cigarettes with them. sometimes, the townsfolk spot elliott with a lollipop in his mouth and a smile on his face, they wonder what changed.

He used to hate the fall…

Until he found out autumn is her favorite season

Hod I wish Elliott cookie was real....

I hate myself for creating this.

No I'm not making a better version of this. Fuck you