Colouring In Pages

Colouring in pages 🐸

On Living With BPD (borderline personality disorder)

I’m scared of catching feelings for someone or falling in love. It’s like the rational therapy side of my brain has to slap around the BPD part of me and tell me to get a grip. I feel so much. My emotions are so strong that often I can’t even tell what I genuinely do care about or not because the feelings are too loud. I’m scared of scaring people away. I’m scared of how I can feel so much for someone that I’ve only just met and already feel afraid of losing them. I’m afraid to be too kind or show too much love. I try to show a “normal” amount of love that’s appropriate for the situation. Because I’m afraid that the real way that I feel is too intense, too overwhelming, too serious too soon, too clingy, too caring, not distant enough, not casual and cool enough. I’m scared of being myself and expressing the full extent of my feelings and having it be seen as strange and that something must be wrong with me to feel so much. I mean, there is something different about my brain, but it’s not wrong. I wonder what it’s like to feel a “normal” amount. Sometimes it feels like it’s easier to be alone because I can avoid the hurt and the pain that comes with people, but people can also bring me intense feelings of happiness. So I feel like it’s worth trying, despite feeling so afraid.

🙃

hi! absolutely adore your work! are you also on Instagram?

Thanks so so much!! 💞💞💞

I did have an Instagram account but have recently deleted all my social medias except tumblr since I found them a bit distracting and not so great for my mental health.