My Playlist Starting Playing Long Live By Taylor Swift And I Couldnt Help But Think About A Silly Little

My playlist starting playing Long Live by Taylor Swift and I couldn’t help but think about a silly little fanfic including Eddie Munson….somebody do it

“And the cynics were outraged

Screaming, “This is absurd”

‘Cause for a moment a band of thieves

In ripped up jeans got to rule the world”

Like it’s cliche a bit and a little corny but like listening to the song, really could be a Eddie one shot 😭

Where I’m at right now we have a tornado watch and the high possibility of two tornadoes today.

It’s pretty normal to get a lot of tornadoes during this time especially as spring approaches more and I opened up my weather app just to see if it had gone into a warning because the map showed it more red and I thought I saw the hook of a tornado on it only to have a huge ass ad pop-up while I’m trying to see if I need to let my parents know to take shelter or nah.

Like could you imagine you’re like hold up lemme see and the reason you die is because Sara needs you to know she’s a hot mom and single in your area

I’ve been wanting a tattoo for a while and I want an Icarus falling type of tattoo except replace him with Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle and have Sophie reaching for him or something as well. Idk I just watched the movie for the first time and I’m now like yup I want a tattoo based on these characters lol

manifesting 😌

link

Mindfuck no jutsu!

Went to a thrift store today with my best friend of 15 years. We’ll call her M.

Saw a cute sweater that just so happen to be in the medium section.

Now I’m a big girl, usually I wear 3XL or 2XL, but this sweater was plenty big.

I asked M if she’d buy me it because I left my card in my car and we’d driven in hers.

The first thing that pops out of her mouth and so loudly does it travel throughout the small clothing thrift store is, “Will it fit? It’s a medium”

And immediately I could feel my heart drop and my face get red. I could feel myself become this small little mouse and I said, “Yeah….it will”

I was in disbelief and honestly really upset because why make that comment? I have enough problems and to say that so loudly :/

After a while I started to put it back cause the more I stared at it, the more it made my stomach turn.

M tried grabbing it, saying, “No I’ll buy it if you want it!”

But I just said, “No, I just…looked at it and realized I didn’t want it.”

“If I hurt your feelings I didn’t mean to”

And at this point all I could feel was the lump in my throat and trying not to get publicly upset about it.

“No it’s fine. You didn’t hurt my feelings. I just don’t want it”

And then I tried to move on from it. Lately, however, all I’ve been thinking about is how entirely too big I am. How much space I take up. What I would do if I was skinny or at least 100 pounds lighter.

M knows how I feel about my body and to say that made me like shit.

Add it on top of my seasonal depression and I just feel…bleh. I feel like a blob monster that’ll never lose weight.

I do the diet and I do the exercise.

But I just feel like everyone sees the word “fat” when they see me ya know? They don’t see me as just me. It’s like my world revolves around that word and I hate it so much.