Astralis-is-typing - ⚝

This was so nice to wake up to😩 It's great to know there's an audience for pure angst on here! I was kinda worried about the copious amounts of it I'd dumped into this fic lmao😂

Angst lovers unite😩✊

And yeah I made sure he wasn't a total pushover😂 people need to learn how to stand their ground😤

⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series

⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound

⚝word count: 4k

⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...

You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.

Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.

“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.

“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.

—

You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.

You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.

You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.

He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.

The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.

The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.

He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.

When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.

Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.

After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.

You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.

What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.

His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.

But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.

—

The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.

But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.

“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”

“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.

His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”

“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”

You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”

Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.

“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.

“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”

“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.

“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”

He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.

“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”

“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”

Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”

Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.

“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.

“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?

“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.

Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.

Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.

Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.

—

You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.

A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.

The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.

You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.

Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”

“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.

“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.

“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.

“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”

“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”

“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.

You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”

He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.

Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.

“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”

You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”

He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.

“I missed you,” you admitted.

“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.

“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.

“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”

Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.

“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”

“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.

“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”

“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.

“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.

“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.

You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.

“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.

“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.

⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D

⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks

I am very ill after this:

 "Every day that passed, with him standing there in front of you, drenched in seawater, you were reminded of this fact. 

 From the chiseled abs and sculpted arms and sharp, pointed jaw. 

 When the sight of that side of him became too much, you usually called it quits - claiming that you had to get ready for the day. In reality, you just had to make a hasty escape. 

 So that you could sink to the floor in your bedroom after you had said your goodbyes. 

 So that you could listen to the raging clang of your heartbeat against your ribcage in the quietness of your room. 

 So that your mind could play that version of him over and over again in the forefront of your mind."

FERAL OVER THIS!!!

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

⬷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. drinking/partying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉

word count: 4.1k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

a/n: I literally got the inspo to write this chapter from a TikTok I once saw like, 2 months ago. and I was like, huh- that'd actually make a good fic idea!! 💀 anyways, stream skz's lola performance tmrw!!! 🫣 also, thanks to @cb97breathing for literally being my biggest cheerleader with this fic lmao, you ROCK bby and ilysm!!! 😭🥹💙 ALSO YES I JUST CHANGED MY ENTIRE TUMBLR THEME YESTERDAY SO IF YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE MY NEW LOOK IM SO SORRY- 🤡

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Every day leading up to the party at Jeongin’s, you met Felix outside early in the morning. At first, it just started as you waking up before the sun rose to catch a glimpse of him wading into the ocean waters. 

 But then, things steadily turned into you sitting outside on your parent’s porch, just like you had on his second day back at Bridgeport Bay. And each time he acknowledged your presence there in the wicker chair, he’d come over after his swim, trickling with cerulean teardrops from the sea and smelling of warm salt and sand. 

 The two of you got to talking, as the mornings passed. And the later in the week it grew, the more you realized how much Felix hadn’t changed. He was still the taekwondo prodigy from elementary school, who had risen to fame amongst his university classmates in South Korea. He was still the goofy kid from your childhood, the middle schooler who had grown up to play weird pranks on his friends in university. He was still the kid from high school who hated tomatoes, and always asked for them on the side when his university’s canteen had ‘burger night.’

 He was everything you had known him for, but so much more too. 

 He was a grown adult, who had foraged a life of his own in a country thousands of miles away from Bridgeport Bay. He was a fully-fledged man - who had a degree in Performing Dance Arts and hoped to become a dance instructor after his summer break. 

 Not to mention, he looked very different from how you used to know him.

 Every day that passed, with him standing there in front of you, drenched in seawater, you were reminded of this fact. 

 From the chiseled abs and sculpted arms and sharp, pointed jaw. 

 When the sight of that side of him became too much, you usually called it quits - claiming that you had to get ready for the day. In reality, you just had to make a hasty escape. 

 So that you could sink to the floor in your bedroom after you had said your goodbyes. 

 So that you could listen to the raging clang of your heartbeat against your ribcage in the quietness of your room. 

 So that your mind could play that version of him over and over again in the forefront of your mind. 

 And then before you knew it, it was the day of the party and you and Yeji were driving over to Jeongin’s house in her car. Chris lived close to Jeongin’s place, so he was going to meet you guys there.

 “This party is gonna be so fucking good,” she was saying, just as she pulled up to his place. Already, there were loads of cars lining either side of the residential street. And just as you had remembered it, his quaint house was tucked right next to the beautiful mountainside of Bridgeport Bay that you had always glimpsed from your bedroom window growing up. “Like, I’ve been wanting to go to one for a while now… thanks so much for inviting me, babe.” 

 As you stepped out of her cherry-red Corolla, you flashed her an easy smile. “Yeah, no problem, I thought it’d be fun to have you tag along…” Plus, you had a feeling that you wouldn’t know many of the people at the party besides your immediate friends. And Chris, of course.  

 The two of you began to make your way over to Jeongin’s front door. You noticed the large number of people who were lingering outside, with adults who looked around your age holding bottles of beer, and couples making out while sitting on the front lawn. So basically, the usual that happened at such parties. The bass of the music vibrated through your heels and into your spine as you finally stepped through the threshold of the house. 

 Everything was dark, save for the few lanterns and candles that were lit throughout the place. Party-goers were everywhere, only getting rowdier as the minutes ticked by and the alcohol flowed through bloodlines. There was a makeshift dance floor in the center of the living room, which was almost unrecognizable from how many wriggling bodies were crammed into the small carpeted space. Men and women alike rubbed up on each other, and you quickly averted your eyes as soon as you saw a few begin to move like fucking pole dancers. 

 “I need a drink,” you said, massaging the back of your neck in awkwardness as you and Yeji flooded through the cramped hallway. It had been so long since you had been inside Jeongin’s house, but walking between the dark sage-colored walls brought you back to your teenage years when you used to come over on occasion to hang out with Felix and Jeongin and the rest of their friend group. 

 The kitchen wasn’t bustling with as many people as the rest of the ranch-style house, meaning that you could catch your breath for a few seconds. As you stood there, off to the sidelines, you watched as Yeji fetched you a beer - she was going to be the designated driver for the night, so no alcohol for her. The few guys that stood near the countertop that was overflowing with bags of chips and candy gave her silent looks of interest. 

 Your best friend had always been rather gorgeous, even at the tender age of nine, when you had initially met her. Her long, raven-black hair was silky and seemed to shine under the lights of the kitchen, and she had a perpetual smile plastered onto her face. For the party, she was dressed in a show-stopping black mini-dress that brought out the milky tone of her skin and clashed perfectly with her dark eyes and red-tinted lips. 

 On the other hand, there you were - in a simple pair of light-washed shorts and a pastel blue tank that had a small daisy print on it. Your outfit was nothing fancy, and nothing compared to the glamorous aesthetic of your best friend. But it was comfortable and you liked being comfortable. 

 Just then, you felt warm fingers thread through your own, pulling you back. You peered up to see a smirking Chris. “Hi, there, beautiful… mind if I get your name?” He asked in a low voice that was hard to hear over the blaring EDM music that was pulsing throughout the entire house. 

 Already feeling the smile brighten your entire being, you leaned up into him and gave his lips a sweet kiss. “Hi, babe- did you just get here?” Yeji stepped in front of you then, pushing a red solo cup of beer into your free hand that wasn’t currently threading through your boyfriend’s dark tresses. 

 “Nah, I’ve been here for a while- it's been nice catching up with some old friends.” Chris reached forward, grabbing the cup out of your hands and taking a big swig of the liquor. As he pulled the rim of the cup away from his mouth, he frowned slowly. “Ugh- this tastes like shit. I need to give Jeongin some pointers next time he buys the alcohol.” 

 “Hey Y/N, do you mind if I leave you here? I’m pretty sure I just saw one of my old friends from high school and I-”

 Chris was already waving a nonchalant hand in the air, pulling you a little closer to his side as he said, “Don’t worry about it, Yeji, she’s in good hands.” You drew your gaze away from your boyfriend’s chiseled jaw and offered your friend a delicate nod. 

 “Seriously, don’t worry about me and go out there and have some fun… you deserve it.” Yeji squealed at your approval, wrapping one of her arms around you and giving your side a tight squeeze before she was flitting out of the kitchen altogether. 

 Just then your boyfriend was tugging on your hand, pulling you through the threshold of the kitchen and out into the throng of people again. “C’mon, I want you to see some of the guys from high school.” By ‘guys,’ he meant his best friends from the soccer team that he had played on throughout high school. He still kept in touch with them regularly, but you didn’t hang out with them that much, so it had been quite some time since you had seen their faces. 

 “But I hate big crowds,” you whined at him as he tugged you through the bodies that were smashed together in the dining room. Felix had said that it would be a small party with just some close friends, but obviously, he had only said that to get you to come. You’d need a lot more than just one beer if you were going to get through the night unscathed and still standing. Chris pulled you out to the back patio area, passing the pool that was full of shouting drunks. “And I don’t really-”

 Your voice caught in your throat as your boyfriend finally stopped in front of the fire pit that was tucked away into the corner of the backyard. You had sat around the raging fire and had roasted marshmallows one time before, back when you were a junior in high school and it was winter out. 

 There, sitting around the fire, were a handful of Chris’ former teammates from high school. And also, some of Felix’s groupies. 

 And then, there was… 

 Felix, too. 

 He was sitting in a lawn chair that was pulled up close to the fire. He was tipping his head back as he took a long draw from his glass that looked full of coke. He had never been a big alcohol drinker. Similar to you, he was dressed down - in tight black jeans and a baggy graphic tee. A single thin silver chain hung around his neck, drawing attention to his exposed clavicle. 

 It took him a moment to notice you, but as soon as he did, he was rising from his seat and darting over to your side. “Y/N- hi, happy you could make it!” He exclaimed cheerfully, as he gave you a quick side hug. 

 Almost instantly, Chris was pulling away from your form and finding a seat near his friends, seemingly forgetting about your presence right then and there and instead focusing on his old friends. 

 You gave Chris a glare from the way that he was practically abandoning you around a bunch of near-strangers. But you managed to flash Felix a faint smile, “Yeah, thanks for inviting me. Although, I didn’t think there’d be this many people here…” Your voice trailed off, as your eyes followed the line of people that were spaced around the pool’s edge, jumping into the blue-tinted water or chatting with alcohol in hand. 

 Felix ran a nervous hand through his blonde locks, grimacing quietly, “Jeongin said it was just gonna be a quiet thing. But, obviously, he invited more than just a few people.” Rolling his eyes at that, he motioned with a tilt of his head to the two empty chairs that were nearby. “Wanna roast a couple of marshmallows with me?” 

 “I’d love to.” You said with a grin, as you took a seat beside the fire. Immediately, the warmth enveloped you, calming your racing heart and forcing you to relax in your chair. 

 Your anxiety was just from the large party. 

 You had never been a big fan of immense crowds. 

 Yeah, it was definitely from that. 

Felix kept his gaze on you as he slid two fluffy white marshmallows onto separate roasting sticks. “I thought you were bringing Yeji tonight.” He gave you one of the sticks, and you soon leaned forward and slowly began to roast your marshmallow. 

 “She’s here- just off catching up with some of her old friends from high school,” you began, as you watched the flames lick around the whiteness, biting into the gooey skin and toasting it a beautiful brown colour. “You know how it can be sometimes… time slips past you when you meet friends from the past.” 

 Your eyes flitted over to his form then, and he caught your stare. The air seemed to halt around you, the tension snapping between you as his face darkened somewhat. The starry-night sky did little to brighten the atmosphere, the waning crescent moon shining high above your head and casting a light glow across his freckled cheeks. 

 Like the fucking elephant in the room, you both knew that your words were meant for more than just Yeji and her friends. 

 “Mhm- it can be a lot to deal with when you see old friends again.” He mused in a low voice, one that you knew was only meant for you to hear. His gaze slid away from you then, as he focused all his energy on smushing his browned marshmallow between two pieces of cinnamon graham crackers and a slab of milk chocolate. “Here,” he moved towards you, offering up the s’more with delicate fingers. 

 You snorted incredulously, pushing his hand away from your face, “That’s yours, Felix.” 

 “Well, I want you to have it.” 

 And before you could offer up any more protests, he was shifting against your side, shoving the sweet thing into your open hand. Fingers brushed across fingers, and you were jolted backward from the contact. From the softness of it all. From the feeling of his palm swiping against your knuckles. 

 “Besides, I’ve already had like, five tonight. I don’t need any more marshmallows for a while.” 

 Quietly, you took a tiny bite out of the warm dessert. The sugar burst across your tongue, and you were brought back to your childhood, during the days when you and Felix used to roast marshmallows on your parent’s porch deep into the summer months. 

 The melty center of the marshmallow reminded you of him. 

 The saccharine taste of it all remained you of him. 

 And suddenly, you no longer felt hungry for another s’more. 

 Eyes scanning over the fire pit, you caught sight of Chris. He was sprawled out in his chair, chuckling over something stupid that his friend was telling him with animated gestures. You could tell that the liquor was going straight to his head, making him dizzy and irrational. You always hated when he drank. He turned into a different person whenever he did. 

 Just as you were about to tell Felix that you didn’t want another s’more, a voice rang out from across your side. “Ayo- you made it Y/N… good to see you!” You peered up from your seat to see a beaming Jeongin. He reached out to you, rustling your hair playfully as he drew closer to the bonfire. 

 “It’s a bigger turnout than I thought it would be, that’s for sure.” You said, but you couldn’t help the smile that erupted across your face at the sight of your old acquaintance. It was good to meet up with the people from your childhood. It felt like you were taking a trip down memory lane, one which was endearing and peaceful, and full of happiness. 

 At least, most of the feelings you felt right then were joyful ones. 

 “I bring offerings,” Jeongin announced to the entire ground that sat around the fire pit, holding up the plethora of green beer bottles that he had clasped in either hand. “We’re about to play a lit game of truth or dare!” 

 Seungmin, one of Felix’s friends from high school, grumbled out from across the roaring flames. “Can you please stop using the word lit? It’s really fucking annoying and super outdated.” 

 Jeongin rolled his eyes dramatically, sticking out his tongue in defiance. “Get used to it bro- it’s my new favorite word.” 

 “You guys are so fucking ridiculous…” You heard Felix say under his breath from beside you. Nonetheless, you saw the fondness that crossed his face at the sight of his friends bickering together. Just like old times, it would seem. 

“The rules are, if you can’t tell the truth or do the dare, you have to take a shot,” Jeongin explained, as he picked a few empty solo cups off of the ground and began to fill them up with beer. “We’ll go clockwise, so… Jason, you start.” 

 The first player up was one of Chris’ friends, and he chose one of the girls that you didn’t know to pick truth or dare. She chose a dare and was forced to jump into the nearby pool fully clothed. Everyone around the campfire clapped in delight at how daring she was, and the game steadily continued from them. 

 Halfway through the first round, Yeji appeared from the backyard porch. “What’d I miss?” She asked, as he leaned over your shoulder and peered into the fire. 

 You shrugged, giving her arm a fond squeeze, “Nothing much, we’re just playing a few rounds of truth or dare. You wanna join in?” You watched as she found a lone chair somewhere off into the distance, dragging it towards the fire and plopping into it right beside you. And just like that, Yeji joined in on the fun. 

 The first three rounds passed in a blur of shots being thrown back and confessions being thrown around. You had avoided playing wholeheartedly, instead opting to take a few drinks in the wake of avoiding pressing truths or a crazy dare. 

 As the night passed on, the crowd of people around the pool seemed to grow, the music from inside the house getting louder and spilling out into the backyard. A few more people joined in on the game as time slipped by, and soon, you had a large group participating in the fun. The entire time, Felix hadn’t taken a sip of alcohol, instead opting to nurse his cherry coke. You guessed he must’ve been the assigned designated driver for the night for some of his friends. 

 Yeji lost her rights to drive by her third shot, and since everyone else was pretty shit-faced, that left only Felix as the completely sober one. The idea of having him drive you home sent a pang of hurt to course through your veins. You didn’t want to be a nuisance or bother him in the least bit. 

 “I choose… Chris!” Changbin, one of Felix’s older friends, shouted over the loudness of the party. It was his turn to pick his victim and you could tell his ideas were going to be bad - if his wide smirk was anything to go off of. “Truth or dare?” 

 Chris’ eyes were so glazed over, the red flames from the fire reflected off of his irises in an eery kind of way. His cheeks were dusted with a crimson flush from the liquor, a deep, toothy scowl permanently etched onto his lips. At that moment, you didn’t even want the others to know that he was your boyfriend. His drunkenness was too embarrassing. Albeit, a lot of the others were nearly blacked-out too, but something about Chris slurring his words and yelling loudly did something funny to your heart. Made it trip over itself and forced a lump to form in your throat.

 “I- choose… dare.” He mumbled elatedly, throwing his hands up into the air in defeat. But he seemed rather pleased to still be playing, to be given a dare that was cutthroat. He had always loved drinking games. 

 Changbin rubbed his hands together, grinning mischievously, “Alright… I dare you to… kiss the hottest girl here.” 

 You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t expected the dare to turn out in that kind of sense. The others around the campfire let out dark chuckles, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as Chris shakily rose from his seat. 

 “Not even a fucking debate-” He started in a scratchy voice. As he neared you, you could feel your eyes widen painfully. 

 No, no, no, please don’t- 

But then just as you thought he was going to dip into your form, he was turning to your side, eyeing Yeji like she was a piece of meat. She was pretty shit-faced, but still had enough sense in her to blush profusely. 

 And just as Chris was about to lean into her for a drunken kiss, you found yourself shooting up from your spot, palms landing on his rigid chest as you pushed him back so hard he bumbled around the lawn like a complete drunk. 

 “What the fuck, Chris?!” You screamed, the tears already beginning to prick at the corners of your vision. Your boyfriend gave you a deep frown, the light in his eyes dimming to annoyance. You could feel the eyes of everyone on you guys, and the sounds of the party seemed to dim in the background, as you stared at your boyfriend with the hurt already beginning to bloom in your chest. “Why would you-”

 “I wasn’t actually going to kiss her, stupid!” He retorted back, chuckling at how stupid you had been. 

 And maybe you were being stupid. 

 Maybe you were overreacting. 

 After all, it was just some dumb drinking game. 

 It wasn’t that serious- 

 “Don’t call her stupid.” 

 Felix’s voice seemed to ring out across the entire yard, dancing around your ears and making your cheeks heat up in a peachy-pink colour. You turned to him, noticing the way he was scowling Chris’ way. He was up from his chair, fists clenched at his sides. It was hard to see through the tears that were steadily flowing down your cheeks, but you could faintly make out the taut line of his lips that were pressed into a displeased line. 

 “Felix, I-”

 But then you had no time to react, as one of his hands was clamping down around your forearm, yanking you backward and to his form. “Let’s get out of here.” He said in a low voice, as his hand trailed down your bare arm and his fingers threaded through your own. 

 Just as you were getting dragged away from the scene, Yeji stumbled out of her chair, calling out to you in a desperate plea, “Y/N, wait!” 

 Felix offered her no time to explain, as he pushed you through the crowd of people and into the house. He lead your wobbly legs the entire way, holding onto your hand firmly as it was hard to see through the mistiness of your vision. Finally, when you arrived at his car, he opened the passenger door and helped you into the seat. 

 When he had buckled himself into the driver’s seat and the ignition was roaring to life, Felix finally turned to face you. Reaching over the center consul of his car, he gave your hand a tight squeeze. 

 “Forget about him, yeah? He’s not worth your energy right now.” He said in a faint voice, one that graced over your ears and was a nice respite from the booming sounds of the party. 

 You roughly scrubbed at your eyes, trying to will the tears to stop. You were feeling so many emotions all at once… embarrassment, betrayal, but also… relief, to be taken out of such a situation so quickly. 

 “Where do you wanna go?” Felix asked upon your silence, and just then you managed to peel your eyes open, taking a glance at the clock on the dashboard and reading that it was well after midnight. “Home?” 

 You leaned your head against the black leather seat. It felt cold under your skin. Comforting, almost, to have something chilled touch your feverish cheeks. “No, I don’t want to sit alone in my room, not yet…” His face became clearer in your mind then, and you saw the way his mouth ticked up in a faint smile from your vulnerable admission that you didn’t want him to leave your side so soon.

 “Then I know just the place.” Felix mused in that silky, deep voice of his. And soon, he was pulling away from the curb of Jeongin’s home, merging onto the street and taking you to his mysterious location that would seemingly make everything better. The entire time he drove, his palm stayed pressed against yours, fingers threaded through yours. “You just focus on my hand, yeah? Don’t think about anything else…”

 Just like that, his soothing voice was lulling you into a mindless kind of stupor. With the bright town lights flashing around you as he drove steadily down the highway, you were brought into a listless state of limbo. 

 And he was right. 

 Focusing on him, and his touch was helping tremendously. 

 Helped take your mind off of everything, and all of your warring feelings. 

 And instead, all you could focus on was the way that his palm felt so soft pressed against yours. 

 The way his fingers fit so perfectly between yours. 

 Almost like, you had been destined to hold onto each other’s hands. 

To be continued...

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hi everyone! i was hoping to post my yeonjun fic for the weeknd series today but there's been a national blackout 💀💀

it'll be up as soon as i can get it when the systems are back up!!

it's the way i physically cannot go 24 hours without listening to love me like this 🫠🫠🫠

every time nmixx releases a new song i don’t love it and then couple weeks later it’s my favorite thing what kind of slow burn is this

Real footage of me reading this

"It was then, as the sky was beginning to illuminate ever so slowly, that you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Silently, you turned your head to catch a glimpse of a sight that you never thought you’d seen in your entire life. 

 For there was Lee Felix, bare-chested and trudging through the thick heated sand with a pair of tiny swim trunks clinging to his thick thighs. His entire focus was on the water just in front of him, as he made the trek from his parent's house to the shore. He had a pair of goggles in one hand, and a towel in the other. Each time he shifted forward, his muscles constricted, and you were left with a stark display of milky skin and a chiseled abdomen, and rippling forearms. "

HOWLING BC OF THIS ARGHHHH!! NOM NOM NOM

 “Maybe I’ll see you around again, in the early mornings…” His words trailed off, making you turn back to catch a glimpse of the wistful look that danced across his face at the thought. 

 “Perhaps…” You mused, grinning softly just as you made your way into the house and closed the door shut behind you. 

Main character is so much better than me bc I'd have evolved into an Olympic-level swimmer after this conversation😫

No like this story is actually so delicious pls pls pls

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐬

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉 18+ warnings under cut.

word count: 3.0k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

18+ warnings: mentions of chan x y/n having sex, and him railing her into the mattress (i.e. oblivion). y/n is also pretty fucked over from her long night with chan, so there's that too lmao.

a/n: this chapter is literally just y/n thirsting over felix. and like, can anyone blame her??? 💀 the man is a fucking beefcake and a daddy and a hot cunt lord in disguise and- okay, I will stop now and see myself out. 🧍‍♀️ goodnight ya'll. 👀

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Like a drug, you couldn’t seem to get Lee Felix out of your head. And that entire night, you had spent it pondering over him. 

 Obsessing over him. 

 Every time Chris leaned in to kiss you, you pictured his face right there - and the way he had looked at you right before he left the restaurant. 

 So hurt, so confused, so… angry, even. 

 And the anger is the thing that perplexed you the most. 

 So much so that, even while Chris was pounding away at you late that night after you had gone out to dinner at a fancy place in the area, you couldn’t stop yourself from overthinking everything. 

 As Chris’ cock reached all new parts inside of you, pushing you up his mattress with every powerful thrust of his hips, you felt yourself completely zone out - as you wondered and wondered over why Felix had looked so enraged that night at AW. 

 You couldn’t get the thought of him out of your mind, even well after Chris had finished and you had left his apartment. 

 And you lay awake in your bed, sleep seeming to be a fleeting thing that danced out of your grasp every time you tried to close your eyes. 

 Because every time your vision dimmed and dreamland threatened to take over everything, you were once again reminded of him. 

 And like a brick that was constantly being painfully hit over your head, you recalled that he was going to be living in Bridgeport Bay. For the entire summer. That realization caused you to stir in your bed well into the early morning, your stomach churning with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation. 

 Finally, just as the sun was starting to rise over the watery horizon, you decided to make your way out onto your house’s front porch, to hopefully catch a breath of fresh air and clear your head so that you could finally get some shut-eye. 

 With a fresh mug of steaming hot matcha green tea in hand, and a fuzzy blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders, you settled in on one of the comfy whicker seats just outside the house’s front door.

 You stayed like that for a little while, basking in the quiet stillness of the early morning. The sun’s rays were just starting to peak over the horizon of the sea, casting everything in a light shimmer of gold and peachy pink. 

 It was then, as the sky was beginning to illuminate ever so slowly, that you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Silently, you turned your head to catch a glimpse of a sight that you never thought you’d seen in your entire life. 

 For there was Lee Felix, bare-chested and trudging through the thick heated sand with a pair of tiny swim trunks clinging to his thick thighs. His entire focus was on the water just in front of him, as he made the trek from his parent's house to the shore. He had a pair of goggles in one hand, and a towel in the other. Each time he shifted forward, his muscles constricted, and you were left with a stark display of milky skin and a chiseled abdomen, and rippling forearms.  

 Momentarily, you felt yourself swallow against the view of him. Of his ass in those tight shorts, as he languidly moved toward the lapping blue water. Then, in no time at all, he was diving headfirst into the sea. It must’ve been lukewarm, at best, since it was so early in the morning and the sun hadn’t had time to heat everything. 

 Still, he didn’t seem to give two shits about the chilliness, as he swam forward, growing farther and farther away from you. He hadn’t noticed your presence on your parent’s nearby porch. Otherwise, you were sure that he would’ve stopped in his tracks and waved good morning to you. 

 At least, the old Felix would’ve done so. The one from high school. 

 But then again, perhaps he had seen you. And he just hadn’t cared enough to give you the common courtesy of a simple ‘hello.’ 

 You watched him the entire time, holding your breath as you observed the way his muscles contracted and pulled back with each one of his strokes. You stayed like that for a long time, studying him in bated silence. Waiting for him to notice you over the rim of his goggles. 

 He never did, though. And seemed too focused on his early morning swim to care about anything - or anyone - else. 

 Eventually, you seemed to get ahold of yourself. Reeling your thoughts back in and shifting your gaze onto the nearby mountainside that was blooming with greenery and flowers. The cove that surrounded your side of Bridgeport Bay was incredibly beautiful, and most of the sights around your parent’s house looked like they were right out of a tropical postcard.

 Sometimes even you were shocked by how breathtaking everything was, even though you had lived in the same area your entire life. However, sometimes, on those off days that you’d have once in a while, you’d imagine what life was like outside of your little comfortable bubble. 

 What was it like in the rest of the world? 

 What was South Korea like- 

 The place where Felix had been living for the past four years. 

 You had heard and seen videos about the amazing culture there - and how the food was unique and the nightlife was out of this world. 

 Still, you could never seem to find the strength inside yourself to leave Bridgeport Bay. Your hometown held too many memories inside of its small location - too many past feelings and moments. 

 “Fancy seeing you out here so early.” A deep voice cut through your daydreams, and you were shocked out of your stupor of thought by the comment. 

 Your head snapped away from the flourishing mountainside so fast, that you were afraid you’d break your neck with such a quick movement. Instead, you were left with a wildly beating heart and flushing cheeks as you stared on at Felix. 

 His sandy-blonde hair was sopping wet, his nose a tiny bit pink from the biting, cerulean sea. Your eyes caught on the stray drop of water that raced down the plane of his chest, traveling south before gathering in his fucking too-tight pants. 

 “Yeah- I didn’t expect to see you diving into the sea at five in the morning.” You laughed in a raspy voice, carding an awkward hand through your hair. It was then that you were made aware of the state you were currently in - with thin pink linen pajamas thrown on haphazardly and makeup completely streaked from your long night with Chris just hours before. 

 “What can I say? I’ve become a man who’s quite the early bird.” Felix shrugged his muscular shoulders then, and just like you had assumed at the restaurant the day before, he was incredibly built. With him standing so close to the porch, you could get a clear view of his chiseled pecs and bulging biceps. And his legs… damn, gone were the days when he had been known around high school as the boy with ‘chopstick legs.’ “But what are you doing out here so early? I never took you as the kind of person who liked to sip on tea before the sun fully rose.” 

 Your fingers toyed with the rim of your mug that was half-empty, as you fought and practically failed in trying to stop gaping at his body. It was proving to be incredibly hard, though, with him standing so close and smelling of saltwater taffy and warm sand. “I… I couldn’t sleep, so I thought coming out here would do me some good.” 

 “Huh- long night, I guess?” 

 The way his voice dipped in insinuation with the words that flowed from his lips caused the blood in your veins to pulse a little harder, and you swallowed around the lump in your throat. He didn’t have to beat around the bush or say anything explicit, because you both knew what he was talking about. 

 He had seen the way Chris had been all over you the night before, while you were closing up Angel Waves. He had seen the way he put his hands on you, as he dipped into you for a passionate kiss. 

 And Lee Felix was no prude, no shrewd monk. He knew what sex was, and he knew the telltale signs of a long night ahead. 

 You tucked a strand of your messy hair behind your ear, finding it impossible to meet his eyes then. The heat of shame came over your entire form, and you felt it light up your cheeks in a furious crimson blaze. Your gaze caught on the lapping blue waves just behind him, with the sun shining down on the land below. “Y-Yeah, I guess you could say that…” Your voice trailed off, as your mind raced a mile a minute with thoughts of his perception of you in that moment. 

 What was he thinking, as his eyes studied your rumpled and sleep-deprived form? 

 Was he thinking you were an easy catch, from how Chris got into your bed so quickly that night? 

 Was he inwardly shaking his head at you for how you were still together with him in the first place? 

 Was he- 

“Anyways, a couple of the guys from high school are throwing some welcome home party for me this Saturday night. I was wondering if you had heard anything about it?” Felix said nonchalantly, which instantly forced your eyes back onto him. 

 His eyes were a little hooded, dark, and stormy as he looked on at you. Studying you, and your reaction to his admission. A party… being thrown for him. By the guys from Bridgeport Bay High. 

 “Uhm- no, I didn’t know about it.” You shook your head, fingers nervously playing with a loose thread of the blanket that was thrown over most of your body. “Is it gonna be a big party or just some friends from high school?” 

 “I think it’s just my friends from back then… you know, like Jisung and Changbin and stuff. Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to go?” He began, running a hand through his wet, messy hair and making himself look incredibly small and downright cute, with how he waited for your reply with big, sparkly eyes. “I mean, I know you're super fucking busy with summer classes and working at AW and-”

 “Felix, just shut up, okay? I’d love to go.” You cut through his nonsensical ramblings, offering him a soft smile. “Besides, I’ve been meaning to get away from the daily grind… it’d be kinda fun, to start the summer season with a party and some old friends.”

 His eyes widened at your answer, almost like he was expecting you to completely turn him down. Almost like, he thought you’d pick working at Angel Waves and university homework over going to a party with your friends. “Wow- okay, yeah… I mean, I think it’s gonna be a good time. You can invite whoever you want to. Like, it’s not a closed party or anything.” 

 “Great, then I’ll bring Chris and Yeji along with me.” 

 Immediately, his bright, shit-eating grin dropped. His face turned a little shadowy again, like the look he had had before when you had admitted to having a long night with Chan. 

 Obviously, he still wasn’t keen on the fact that you and Chris were still together. But since it had been so long since the two of you had talked with one another, and you were just starting to rekindle your friendship, you supposed that he didn’t feel like it was his place to tell you his feelings about everything. 

 After all, you had ended things altogether over your relationship with Chris. So it was quite a sore spot for both of you. 

 Like the elephant in the fucking room, you were reminded of why you had stopped talking in the first place. And it was all over your boyfriend. 

 “Do you know where it’s gonna be?” You asked, and that seemed to snap him out of his broody funk, as his face brightened up somewhat. He brushed the towel he had been holding in his hand through his locks, drying the blonde tresses off as best as he could. 

 “Yeah, pretty sure Jeongin’s hosting. You know where his place is, right?” 

 You nodded slowly, as you began to recall the last time you had been over at his house. You were never particularly close with some of Felix’s friends from high school, so you hadn’t seen most of them since your graduation. Even still, you could vaguely recall where Jeongin lived. “Yup- he’s on the corner of Albany Drive and Cornerstone, right? It’s that little blue house tucked just against the mountainside.” 

 Felix flashed you a proud smile, pleased to hear that you still remembered. “You got it," he winked playfully, "Supposedly, his parents are away for the weekend at some couples getaway in Sydney, so he’ll have the whole place to himself.” 

 “There’ll be liquor there too, right?” 

 Your old friend gave you a funny look, brows furrowing a little bit. You had never been a big alcohol drinker, even during all of the parties that your classmates would hold during high school. Usually, you’d take a few sips and then call it a night, not liking the taste and bitterness of it all. 

 “Uhm- I guess, why?” Felix wiggled a mischievous eyebrow your way, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. “You planning on getting shit-faced or something?” 

 You rolled your eyes dramatically, folding your arms across your chest and giving him your best I-mean-business frown. “It’s been a long week, Lix. Fuck it, a long year.” 

 But then, just as soon as you had said his old nickname, your entire body froze up in your chair. You stared at him with wide eyes, watching as it registered in his brain that you had called him such a thing. It had been your special little thing that you had started soon after becoming friends. No one called him ‘Lix’ except you, and that’s how the two of you liked it. 

 The ocean tides lapping at the shore in the background seemed to fade out, as the tension between you stretched on and your heart pounded against your ribcage. You breathed in sharply through your nose, and it burned like an absolute bitch on the way down. 

 Almost as quickly as the little moment between you had started, it was cut short by the harsh clearing of his throat. “Yeah, well, I could go for a drink or two- or ten.” He laughed, tone straining at the end of his words as your eyes locked once again and the breath caught in your throat. 

 You kept still, just like that, looking out at him, as he stood so close to the railing of the porch, not even five paces away from your spot in the whicker chair. 

 And for a split second, you contemplated inviting him onto the porch with you. 

 Even worse, inviting him into your place. Something that you hadn’t done in… over four years. 

 Just as fast as the thoughts dawned on your mind, you were shaking them away entirely. No- he was just an old friend that you were starting to rekindle a friendship with. 

 Besides, you were in a loving relationship with your boyfriend, Chris. There was no need for Felix to walk through your house and come into your bedroom again and see such intimate parts of yourself once more. He had lost that privilege when he treated you like a total piece of shit senior year and completely ghosted you for four years straight while he was off living the dream life in South Korea. 

 “Well, I should probably head inside now… we’ve got a busy day ahead at the restaurant, and all…” You swallowed thickly, allowing yourself one fleeting last look at him before you were moving up and out of your chair and towards the front door. “Anyways, I guess I’ll see you Saturday night, then.” 

 Felix nodded, giving you one of those sad, little smiles. The one’s he’d have whenever the two of you had to part ways for the day during your high school years since you didn't share a lot of the same classes. “Mhm- good luck with the restaurant, I know how crazy things can get around this time of year.” 

 A heavy sigh escaped your lips, as you pulled the blanket around your body a little tighter to hide your sheer pajamas from him. “Don’t even get me started… it’s complete hell.” 

 It wasn’t until your body was halfway through the threshold of the front door, that you heard Felix’s deep voice rising up and above the swells of the seashore. 

 “Maybe I’ll see you around again, in the early mornings…” His words trailed off, making you turn back to catch a glimpse of the wistful look that danced across his face at the thought. 

 “Perhaps…” You mused, grinning softly just as you made your way into the house and closed the door shut behind you. 

 You had never been a person who liked waking up early. It was more like you loved staying up late into the night, and then sleeping in well into the afternoon. In a perfect world, you’d go to bed at three in the morning and rise again at noon. 

 But at that moment, as you shifted through the quiet air of your childhood home, you suddenly realized that perhaps you could become a morning person. 

 Perhaps, you could find it in yourself to begin rising early in the morning. 

 To catch the beautiful sunrises, 

 And take in the cerulean ocean waking from its nightly stupor, 

 And also… 

 To catch a glimpse of Lee Felix on one of his morning swims. 

To be continued...

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