making your days warmer, one story at a time
334 posts
Astralis-is-typing - Tumblr Blog
⚝A/N: Join me and @aakomii in our collaborative event for this year's moa week! We wrote 5 pieces inspired by The Weeknd's songs and we hope you enjoy our interpretations of their meanings. We're so excited to bring you this series! Feel free to send an ask and join the event's taglist ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
(A)– written by ari
(J)– written by julian
—★—
DIE FOR YOU ⇝ CHOI SOOBIN (A)
↳nerd!soobin x troublemaker!reader, college au, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, slow burn, violence, bestfriends to lovers, arin from oh my girl (she's bitchy here we're sorry😭)
SAVE YOUR TEARS ⇝ CHOI YEONJUN (J)
↳exes to lovers, angst, heartbreak, fluff ending, yeonjun was a rebound i'm sorry haha
STARGIRL INTERLUDE ⇝ CHOI BEOMGYU (A)
↳rockstar!gyu x reader, exes to lovers, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, mentions of alcohol
IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE? ⇝ KANG TAEHYUN (J)
↳nobility!au, duchess!reader x viscount!taehyun, angst, fluff ending, established relationship, allusions to cheating
CAN'T FEEL MY FACE⇝ HUENING KAI (A)
↳barista!kai x barista!reader, forbidden love, cafe au, coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff, crack, mutual pining
—★—
TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks
I am very ill after this:
"Every day that passed, with him standing there in front of you, drenched in seawater, you were reminded of this fact.
From the chiseled abs and sculpted arms and sharp, pointed jaw.
When the sight of that side of him became too much, you usually called it quits - claiming that you had to get ready for the day. In reality, you just had to make a hasty escape.
So that you could sink to the floor in your bedroom after you had said your goodbyes.
So that you could listen to the raging clang of your heartbeat against your ribcage in the quietness of your room.
So that your mind could play that version of him over and over again in the forefront of your mind."
FERAL OVER THIS!!!
𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬
⬷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬
pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)
genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.
content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. drinking/partying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉
word count: 4.1k
summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.
a/n: I literally got the inspo to write this chapter from a TikTok I once saw like, 2 months ago. and I was like, huh- that'd actually make a good fic idea!! 💀 anyways, stream skz's lola performance tmrw!!! 🫣 also, thanks to @cb97breathing for literally being my biggest cheerleader with this fic lmao, you ROCK bby and ilysm!!! 😭🥹💙 ALSO YES I JUST CHANGED MY ENTIRE TUMBLR THEME YESTERDAY SO IF YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE MY NEW LOOK IM SO SORRY- 🤡
🌊 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ
Every day leading up to the party at Jeongin’s, you met Felix outside early in the morning. At first, it just started as you waking up before the sun rose to catch a glimpse of him wading into the ocean waters.
But then, things steadily turned into you sitting outside on your parent’s porch, just like you had on his second day back at Bridgeport Bay. And each time he acknowledged your presence there in the wicker chair, he’d come over after his swim, trickling with cerulean teardrops from the sea and smelling of warm salt and sand.
The two of you got to talking, as the mornings passed. And the later in the week it grew, the more you realized how much Felix hadn’t changed. He was still the taekwondo prodigy from elementary school, who had risen to fame amongst his university classmates in South Korea. He was still the goofy kid from your childhood, the middle schooler who had grown up to play weird pranks on his friends in university. He was still the kid from high school who hated tomatoes, and always asked for them on the side when his university’s canteen had ‘burger night.’
He was everything you had known him for, but so much more too.
He was a grown adult, who had foraged a life of his own in a country thousands of miles away from Bridgeport Bay. He was a fully-fledged man - who had a degree in Performing Dance Arts and hoped to become a dance instructor after his summer break.
Not to mention, he looked very different from how you used to know him.
Every day that passed, with him standing there in front of you, drenched in seawater, you were reminded of this fact.
From the chiseled abs and sculpted arms and sharp, pointed jaw.
When the sight of that side of him became too much, you usually called it quits - claiming that you had to get ready for the day. In reality, you just had to make a hasty escape.
So that you could sink to the floor in your bedroom after you had said your goodbyes.
So that you could listen to the raging clang of your heartbeat against your ribcage in the quietness of your room.
So that your mind could play that version of him over and over again in the forefront of your mind.
And then before you knew it, it was the day of the party and you and Yeji were driving over to Jeongin’s house in her car. Chris lived close to Jeongin’s place, so he was going to meet you guys there.
“This party is gonna be so fucking good,” she was saying, just as she pulled up to his place. Already, there were loads of cars lining either side of the residential street. And just as you had remembered it, his quaint house was tucked right next to the beautiful mountainside of Bridgeport Bay that you had always glimpsed from your bedroom window growing up. “Like, I’ve been wanting to go to one for a while now… thanks so much for inviting me, babe.”
As you stepped out of her cherry-red Corolla, you flashed her an easy smile. “Yeah, no problem, I thought it’d be fun to have you tag along…” Plus, you had a feeling that you wouldn’t know many of the people at the party besides your immediate friends. And Chris, of course.
The two of you began to make your way over to Jeongin’s front door. You noticed the large number of people who were lingering outside, with adults who looked around your age holding bottles of beer, and couples making out while sitting on the front lawn. So basically, the usual that happened at such parties. The bass of the music vibrated through your heels and into your spine as you finally stepped through the threshold of the house.
Everything was dark, save for the few lanterns and candles that were lit throughout the place. Party-goers were everywhere, only getting rowdier as the minutes ticked by and the alcohol flowed through bloodlines. There was a makeshift dance floor in the center of the living room, which was almost unrecognizable from how many wriggling bodies were crammed into the small carpeted space. Men and women alike rubbed up on each other, and you quickly averted your eyes as soon as you saw a few begin to move like fucking pole dancers.
“I need a drink,” you said, massaging the back of your neck in awkwardness as you and Yeji flooded through the cramped hallway. It had been so long since you had been inside Jeongin’s house, but walking between the dark sage-colored walls brought you back to your teenage years when you used to come over on occasion to hang out with Felix and Jeongin and the rest of their friend group.
The kitchen wasn’t bustling with as many people as the rest of the ranch-style house, meaning that you could catch your breath for a few seconds. As you stood there, off to the sidelines, you watched as Yeji fetched you a beer - she was going to be the designated driver for the night, so no alcohol for her. The few guys that stood near the countertop that was overflowing with bags of chips and candy gave her silent looks of interest.
Your best friend had always been rather gorgeous, even at the tender age of nine, when you had initially met her. Her long, raven-black hair was silky and seemed to shine under the lights of the kitchen, and she had a perpetual smile plastered onto her face. For the party, she was dressed in a show-stopping black mini-dress that brought out the milky tone of her skin and clashed perfectly with her dark eyes and red-tinted lips.
On the other hand, there you were - in a simple pair of light-washed shorts and a pastel blue tank that had a small daisy print on it. Your outfit was nothing fancy, and nothing compared to the glamorous aesthetic of your best friend. But it was comfortable and you liked being comfortable.
Just then, you felt warm fingers thread through your own, pulling you back. You peered up to see a smirking Chris. “Hi, there, beautiful… mind if I get your name?” He asked in a low voice that was hard to hear over the blaring EDM music that was pulsing throughout the entire house.
Already feeling the smile brighten your entire being, you leaned up into him and gave his lips a sweet kiss. “Hi, babe- did you just get here?” Yeji stepped in front of you then, pushing a red solo cup of beer into your free hand that wasn’t currently threading through your boyfriend’s dark tresses.
“Nah, I’ve been here for a while- it's been nice catching up with some old friends.” Chris reached forward, grabbing the cup out of your hands and taking a big swig of the liquor. As he pulled the rim of the cup away from his mouth, he frowned slowly. “Ugh- this tastes like shit. I need to give Jeongin some pointers next time he buys the alcohol.”
“Hey Y/N, do you mind if I leave you here? I’m pretty sure I just saw one of my old friends from high school and I-”
Chris was already waving a nonchalant hand in the air, pulling you a little closer to his side as he said, “Don’t worry about it, Yeji, she’s in good hands.” You drew your gaze away from your boyfriend’s chiseled jaw and offered your friend a delicate nod.
“Seriously, don’t worry about me and go out there and have some fun… you deserve it.” Yeji squealed at your approval, wrapping one of her arms around you and giving your side a tight squeeze before she was flitting out of the kitchen altogether.
Just then your boyfriend was tugging on your hand, pulling you through the threshold of the kitchen and out into the throng of people again. “C’mon, I want you to see some of the guys from high school.” By ‘guys,’ he meant his best friends from the soccer team that he had played on throughout high school. He still kept in touch with them regularly, but you didn’t hang out with them that much, so it had been quite some time since you had seen their faces.
“But I hate big crowds,” you whined at him as he tugged you through the bodies that were smashed together in the dining room. Felix had said that it would be a small party with just some close friends, but obviously, he had only said that to get you to come. You’d need a lot more than just one beer if you were going to get through the night unscathed and still standing. Chris pulled you out to the back patio area, passing the pool that was full of shouting drunks. “And I don’t really-”
Your voice caught in your throat as your boyfriend finally stopped in front of the fire pit that was tucked away into the corner of the backyard. You had sat around the raging fire and had roasted marshmallows one time before, back when you were a junior in high school and it was winter out.
There, sitting around the fire, were a handful of Chris’ former teammates from high school. And also, some of Felix’s groupies.
And then, there was…
Felix, too.
He was sitting in a lawn chair that was pulled up close to the fire. He was tipping his head back as he took a long draw from his glass that looked full of coke. He had never been a big alcohol drinker. Similar to you, he was dressed down - in tight black jeans and a baggy graphic tee. A single thin silver chain hung around his neck, drawing attention to his exposed clavicle.
It took him a moment to notice you, but as soon as he did, he was rising from his seat and darting over to your side. “Y/N- hi, happy you could make it!” He exclaimed cheerfully, as he gave you a quick side hug.
Almost instantly, Chris was pulling away from your form and finding a seat near his friends, seemingly forgetting about your presence right then and there and instead focusing on his old friends.
You gave Chris a glare from the way that he was practically abandoning you around a bunch of near-strangers. But you managed to flash Felix a faint smile, “Yeah, thanks for inviting me. Although, I didn’t think there’d be this many people here…” Your voice trailed off, as your eyes followed the line of people that were spaced around the pool’s edge, jumping into the blue-tinted water or chatting with alcohol in hand.
Felix ran a nervous hand through his blonde locks, grimacing quietly, “Jeongin said it was just gonna be a quiet thing. But, obviously, he invited more than just a few people.” Rolling his eyes at that, he motioned with a tilt of his head to the two empty chairs that were nearby. “Wanna roast a couple of marshmallows with me?”
“I’d love to.” You said with a grin, as you took a seat beside the fire. Immediately, the warmth enveloped you, calming your racing heart and forcing you to relax in your chair.
Your anxiety was just from the large party.
You had never been a big fan of immense crowds.
Yeah, it was definitely from that.
Felix kept his gaze on you as he slid two fluffy white marshmallows onto separate roasting sticks. “I thought you were bringing Yeji tonight.” He gave you one of the sticks, and you soon leaned forward and slowly began to roast your marshmallow.
“She’s here- just off catching up with some of her old friends from high school,” you began, as you watched the flames lick around the whiteness, biting into the gooey skin and toasting it a beautiful brown colour. “You know how it can be sometimes… time slips past you when you meet friends from the past.”
Your eyes flitted over to his form then, and he caught your stare. The air seemed to halt around you, the tension snapping between you as his face darkened somewhat. The starry-night sky did little to brighten the atmosphere, the waning crescent moon shining high above your head and casting a light glow across his freckled cheeks.
Like the fucking elephant in the room, you both knew that your words were meant for more than just Yeji and her friends.
“Mhm- it can be a lot to deal with when you see old friends again.” He mused in a low voice, one that you knew was only meant for you to hear. His gaze slid away from you then, as he focused all his energy on smushing his browned marshmallow between two pieces of cinnamon graham crackers and a slab of milk chocolate. “Here,” he moved towards you, offering up the s’more with delicate fingers.
You snorted incredulously, pushing his hand away from your face, “That’s yours, Felix.”
“Well, I want you to have it.”
And before you could offer up any more protests, he was shifting against your side, shoving the sweet thing into your open hand. Fingers brushed across fingers, and you were jolted backward from the contact. From the softness of it all. From the feeling of his palm swiping against your knuckles.
“Besides, I’ve already had like, five tonight. I don’t need any more marshmallows for a while.”
Quietly, you took a tiny bite out of the warm dessert. The sugar burst across your tongue, and you were brought back to your childhood, during the days when you and Felix used to roast marshmallows on your parent’s porch deep into the summer months.
The melty center of the marshmallow reminded you of him.
The saccharine taste of it all remained you of him.
And suddenly, you no longer felt hungry for another s’more.
Eyes scanning over the fire pit, you caught sight of Chris. He was sprawled out in his chair, chuckling over something stupid that his friend was telling him with animated gestures. You could tell that the liquor was going straight to his head, making him dizzy and irrational. You always hated when he drank. He turned into a different person whenever he did.
Just as you were about to tell Felix that you didn’t want another s’more, a voice rang out from across your side. “Ayo- you made it Y/N… good to see you!” You peered up from your seat to see a beaming Jeongin. He reached out to you, rustling your hair playfully as he drew closer to the bonfire.
“It’s a bigger turnout than I thought it would be, that’s for sure.” You said, but you couldn’t help the smile that erupted across your face at the sight of your old acquaintance. It was good to meet up with the people from your childhood. It felt like you were taking a trip down memory lane, one which was endearing and peaceful, and full of happiness.
At least, most of the feelings you felt right then were joyful ones.
“I bring offerings,” Jeongin announced to the entire ground that sat around the fire pit, holding up the plethora of green beer bottles that he had clasped in either hand. “We’re about to play a lit game of truth or dare!”
Seungmin, one of Felix’s friends from high school, grumbled out from across the roaring flames. “Can you please stop using the word lit? It’s really fucking annoying and super outdated.”
Jeongin rolled his eyes dramatically, sticking out his tongue in defiance. “Get used to it bro- it’s my new favorite word.”
“You guys are so fucking ridiculous…” You heard Felix say under his breath from beside you. Nonetheless, you saw the fondness that crossed his face at the sight of his friends bickering together. Just like old times, it would seem.
“The rules are, if you can’t tell the truth or do the dare, you have to take a shot,” Jeongin explained, as he picked a few empty solo cups off of the ground and began to fill them up with beer. “We’ll go clockwise, so… Jason, you start.”
The first player up was one of Chris’ friends, and he chose one of the girls that you didn’t know to pick truth or dare. She chose a dare and was forced to jump into the nearby pool fully clothed. Everyone around the campfire clapped in delight at how daring she was, and the game steadily continued from them.
Halfway through the first round, Yeji appeared from the backyard porch. “What’d I miss?” She asked, as he leaned over your shoulder and peered into the fire.
You shrugged, giving her arm a fond squeeze, “Nothing much, we’re just playing a few rounds of truth or dare. You wanna join in?” You watched as she found a lone chair somewhere off into the distance, dragging it towards the fire and plopping into it right beside you. And just like that, Yeji joined in on the fun.
The first three rounds passed in a blur of shots being thrown back and confessions being thrown around. You had avoided playing wholeheartedly, instead opting to take a few drinks in the wake of avoiding pressing truths or a crazy dare.
As the night passed on, the crowd of people around the pool seemed to grow, the music from inside the house getting louder and spilling out into the backyard. A few more people joined in on the game as time slipped by, and soon, you had a large group participating in the fun. The entire time, Felix hadn’t taken a sip of alcohol, instead opting to nurse his cherry coke. You guessed he must’ve been the assigned designated driver for the night for some of his friends.
Yeji lost her rights to drive by her third shot, and since everyone else was pretty shit-faced, that left only Felix as the completely sober one. The idea of having him drive you home sent a pang of hurt to course through your veins. You didn’t want to be a nuisance or bother him in the least bit.
“I choose… Chris!” Changbin, one of Felix’s older friends, shouted over the loudness of the party. It was his turn to pick his victim and you could tell his ideas were going to be bad - if his wide smirk was anything to go off of. “Truth or dare?”
Chris’ eyes were so glazed over, the red flames from the fire reflected off of his irises in an eery kind of way. His cheeks were dusted with a crimson flush from the liquor, a deep, toothy scowl permanently etched onto his lips. At that moment, you didn’t even want the others to know that he was your boyfriend. His drunkenness was too embarrassing. Albeit, a lot of the others were nearly blacked-out too, but something about Chris slurring his words and yelling loudly did something funny to your heart. Made it trip over itself and forced a lump to form in your throat.
“I- choose… dare.” He mumbled elatedly, throwing his hands up into the air in defeat. But he seemed rather pleased to still be playing, to be given a dare that was cutthroat. He had always loved drinking games.
Changbin rubbed his hands together, grinning mischievously, “Alright… I dare you to… kiss the hottest girl here.”
You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t expected the dare to turn out in that kind of sense. The others around the campfire let out dark chuckles, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as Chris shakily rose from his seat.
“Not even a fucking debate-” He started in a scratchy voice. As he neared you, you could feel your eyes widen painfully.
No, no, no, please don’t-
But then just as you thought he was going to dip into your form, he was turning to your side, eyeing Yeji like she was a piece of meat. She was pretty shit-faced, but still had enough sense in her to blush profusely.
And just as Chris was about to lean into her for a drunken kiss, you found yourself shooting up from your spot, palms landing on his rigid chest as you pushed him back so hard he bumbled around the lawn like a complete drunk.
“What the fuck, Chris?!” You screamed, the tears already beginning to prick at the corners of your vision. Your boyfriend gave you a deep frown, the light in his eyes dimming to annoyance. You could feel the eyes of everyone on you guys, and the sounds of the party seemed to dim in the background, as you stared at your boyfriend with the hurt already beginning to bloom in your chest. “Why would you-”
“I wasn’t actually going to kiss her, stupid!” He retorted back, chuckling at how stupid you had been.
And maybe you were being stupid.
Maybe you were overreacting.
After all, it was just some dumb drinking game.
It wasn’t that serious-
“Don’t call her stupid.”
Felix’s voice seemed to ring out across the entire yard, dancing around your ears and making your cheeks heat up in a peachy-pink colour. You turned to him, noticing the way he was scowling Chris’ way. He was up from his chair, fists clenched at his sides. It was hard to see through the tears that were steadily flowing down your cheeks, but you could faintly make out the taut line of his lips that were pressed into a displeased line.
“Felix, I-”
But then you had no time to react, as one of his hands was clamping down around your forearm, yanking you backward and to his form. “Let’s get out of here.” He said in a low voice, as his hand trailed down your bare arm and his fingers threaded through your own.
Just as you were getting dragged away from the scene, Yeji stumbled out of her chair, calling out to you in a desperate plea, “Y/N, wait!”
Felix offered her no time to explain, as he pushed you through the crowd of people and into the house. He lead your wobbly legs the entire way, holding onto your hand firmly as it was hard to see through the mistiness of your vision. Finally, when you arrived at his car, he opened the passenger door and helped you into the seat.
When he had buckled himself into the driver’s seat and the ignition was roaring to life, Felix finally turned to face you. Reaching over the center consul of his car, he gave your hand a tight squeeze.
“Forget about him, yeah? He’s not worth your energy right now.” He said in a faint voice, one that graced over your ears and was a nice respite from the booming sounds of the party.
You roughly scrubbed at your eyes, trying to will the tears to stop. You were feeling so many emotions all at once… embarrassment, betrayal, but also… relief, to be taken out of such a situation so quickly.
“Where do you wanna go?” Felix asked upon your silence, and just then you managed to peel your eyes open, taking a glance at the clock on the dashboard and reading that it was well after midnight. “Home?”
You leaned your head against the black leather seat. It felt cold under your skin. Comforting, almost, to have something chilled touch your feverish cheeks. “No, I don’t want to sit alone in my room, not yet…” His face became clearer in your mind then, and you saw the way his mouth ticked up in a faint smile from your vulnerable admission that you didn’t want him to leave your side so soon.
“Then I know just the place.” Felix mused in that silky, deep voice of his. And soon, he was pulling away from the curb of Jeongin’s home, merging onto the street and taking you to his mysterious location that would seemingly make everything better. The entire time he drove, his palm stayed pressed against yours, fingers threaded through yours. “You just focus on my hand, yeah? Don’t think about anything else…”
Just like that, his soothing voice was lulling you into a mindless kind of stupor. With the bright town lights flashing around you as he drove steadily down the highway, you were brought into a listless state of limbo.
And he was right.
Focusing on him, and his touch was helping tremendously.
Helped take your mind off of everything, and all of your warring feelings.
And instead, all you could focus on was the way that his palm felt so soft pressed against yours.
The way his fingers fit so perfectly between yours.
Almost like, you had been destined to hold onto each other’s hands.
To be continued...
🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.
🌊 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @skzcollision :: @noellllslut :: @skz-streamer :: @hello-2-u-from-me :: @bangchanbighandsome @/leyknxw
a blue tag means that there was an error in tagging you.
Real footage of me reading this
"It was then, as the sky was beginning to illuminate ever so slowly, that you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Silently, you turned your head to catch a glimpse of a sight that you never thought you’d seen in your entire life.
For there was Lee Felix, bare-chested and trudging through the thick heated sand with a pair of tiny swim trunks clinging to his thick thighs. His entire focus was on the water just in front of him, as he made the trek from his parent's house to the shore. He had a pair of goggles in one hand, and a towel in the other. Each time he shifted forward, his muscles constricted, and you were left with a stark display of milky skin and a chiseled abdomen, and rippling forearms. "
HOWLING BC OF THIS ARGHHHH!! NOM NOM NOM
“Maybe I’ll see you around again, in the early mornings…” His words trailed off, making you turn back to catch a glimpse of the wistful look that danced across his face at the thought.
“Perhaps…” You mused, grinning softly just as you made your way into the house and closed the door shut behind you.
Main character is so much better than me bc I'd have evolved into an Olympic-level swimmer after this conversation😫
No like this story is actually so delicious pls pls pls
𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐬
← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →
pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)
genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.
content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉 18+ warnings under cut.
word count: 3.0k
summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.
18+ warnings: mentions of chan x y/n having sex, and him railing her into the mattress (i.e. oblivion). y/n is also pretty fucked over from her long night with chan, so there's that too lmao.
a/n: this chapter is literally just y/n thirsting over felix. and like, can anyone blame her??? 💀 the man is a fucking beefcake and a daddy and a hot cunt lord in disguise and- okay, I will stop now and see myself out. 🧍♀️ goodnight ya'll. 👀
🌊 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ
Like a drug, you couldn’t seem to get Lee Felix out of your head. And that entire night, you had spent it pondering over him.
Obsessing over him.
Every time Chris leaned in to kiss you, you pictured his face right there - and the way he had looked at you right before he left the restaurant.
So hurt, so confused, so… angry, even.
And the anger is the thing that perplexed you the most.
So much so that, even while Chris was pounding away at you late that night after you had gone out to dinner at a fancy place in the area, you couldn’t stop yourself from overthinking everything.
As Chris’ cock reached all new parts inside of you, pushing you up his mattress with every powerful thrust of his hips, you felt yourself completely zone out - as you wondered and wondered over why Felix had looked so enraged that night at AW.
You couldn’t get the thought of him out of your mind, even well after Chris had finished and you had left his apartment.
And you lay awake in your bed, sleep seeming to be a fleeting thing that danced out of your grasp every time you tried to close your eyes.
Because every time your vision dimmed and dreamland threatened to take over everything, you were once again reminded of him.
And like a brick that was constantly being painfully hit over your head, you recalled that he was going to be living in Bridgeport Bay. For the entire summer. That realization caused you to stir in your bed well into the early morning, your stomach churning with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation.
Finally, just as the sun was starting to rise over the watery horizon, you decided to make your way out onto your house’s front porch, to hopefully catch a breath of fresh air and clear your head so that you could finally get some shut-eye.
With a fresh mug of steaming hot matcha green tea in hand, and a fuzzy blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders, you settled in on one of the comfy whicker seats just outside the house’s front door.
You stayed like that for a little while, basking in the quiet stillness of the early morning. The sun’s rays were just starting to peak over the horizon of the sea, casting everything in a light shimmer of gold and peachy pink.
It was then, as the sky was beginning to illuminate ever so slowly, that you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Silently, you turned your head to catch a glimpse of a sight that you never thought you’d seen in your entire life.
For there was Lee Felix, bare-chested and trudging through the thick heated sand with a pair of tiny swim trunks clinging to his thick thighs. His entire focus was on the water just in front of him, as he made the trek from his parent's house to the shore. He had a pair of goggles in one hand, and a towel in the other. Each time he shifted forward, his muscles constricted, and you were left with a stark display of milky skin and a chiseled abdomen, and rippling forearms.
Momentarily, you felt yourself swallow against the view of him. Of his ass in those tight shorts, as he languidly moved toward the lapping blue water. Then, in no time at all, he was diving headfirst into the sea. It must’ve been lukewarm, at best, since it was so early in the morning and the sun hadn’t had time to heat everything.
Still, he didn’t seem to give two shits about the chilliness, as he swam forward, growing farther and farther away from you. He hadn’t noticed your presence on your parent’s nearby porch. Otherwise, you were sure that he would’ve stopped in his tracks and waved good morning to you.
At least, the old Felix would’ve done so. The one from high school.
But then again, perhaps he had seen you. And he just hadn’t cared enough to give you the common courtesy of a simple ‘hello.’
You watched him the entire time, holding your breath as you observed the way his muscles contracted and pulled back with each one of his strokes. You stayed like that for a long time, studying him in bated silence. Waiting for him to notice you over the rim of his goggles.
He never did, though. And seemed too focused on his early morning swim to care about anything - or anyone - else.
Eventually, you seemed to get ahold of yourself. Reeling your thoughts back in and shifting your gaze onto the nearby mountainside that was blooming with greenery and flowers. The cove that surrounded your side of Bridgeport Bay was incredibly beautiful, and most of the sights around your parent’s house looked like they were right out of a tropical postcard.
Sometimes even you were shocked by how breathtaking everything was, even though you had lived in the same area your entire life. However, sometimes, on those off days that you’d have once in a while, you’d imagine what life was like outside of your little comfortable bubble.
What was it like in the rest of the world?
What was South Korea like-
The place where Felix had been living for the past four years.
You had heard and seen videos about the amazing culture there - and how the food was unique and the nightlife was out of this world.
Still, you could never seem to find the strength inside yourself to leave Bridgeport Bay. Your hometown held too many memories inside of its small location - too many past feelings and moments.
“Fancy seeing you out here so early.” A deep voice cut through your daydreams, and you were shocked out of your stupor of thought by the comment.
Your head snapped away from the flourishing mountainside so fast, that you were afraid you’d break your neck with such a quick movement. Instead, you were left with a wildly beating heart and flushing cheeks as you stared on at Felix.
His sandy-blonde hair was sopping wet, his nose a tiny bit pink from the biting, cerulean sea. Your eyes caught on the stray drop of water that raced down the plane of his chest, traveling south before gathering in his fucking too-tight pants.
“Yeah- I didn’t expect to see you diving into the sea at five in the morning.” You laughed in a raspy voice, carding an awkward hand through your hair. It was then that you were made aware of the state you were currently in - with thin pink linen pajamas thrown on haphazardly and makeup completely streaked from your long night with Chris just hours before.
“What can I say? I’ve become a man who’s quite the early bird.” Felix shrugged his muscular shoulders then, and just like you had assumed at the restaurant the day before, he was incredibly built. With him standing so close to the porch, you could get a clear view of his chiseled pecs and bulging biceps. And his legs… damn, gone were the days when he had been known around high school as the boy with ‘chopstick legs.’ “But what are you doing out here so early? I never took you as the kind of person who liked to sip on tea before the sun fully rose.”
Your fingers toyed with the rim of your mug that was half-empty, as you fought and practically failed in trying to stop gaping at his body. It was proving to be incredibly hard, though, with him standing so close and smelling of saltwater taffy and warm sand. “I… I couldn’t sleep, so I thought coming out here would do me some good.”
“Huh- long night, I guess?”
The way his voice dipped in insinuation with the words that flowed from his lips caused the blood in your veins to pulse a little harder, and you swallowed around the lump in your throat. He didn’t have to beat around the bush or say anything explicit, because you both knew what he was talking about.
He had seen the way Chris had been all over you the night before, while you were closing up Angel Waves. He had seen the way he put his hands on you, as he dipped into you for a passionate kiss.
And Lee Felix was no prude, no shrewd monk. He knew what sex was, and he knew the telltale signs of a long night ahead.
You tucked a strand of your messy hair behind your ear, finding it impossible to meet his eyes then. The heat of shame came over your entire form, and you felt it light up your cheeks in a furious crimson blaze. Your gaze caught on the lapping blue waves just behind him, with the sun shining down on the land below. “Y-Yeah, I guess you could say that…” Your voice trailed off, as your mind raced a mile a minute with thoughts of his perception of you in that moment.
What was he thinking, as his eyes studied your rumpled and sleep-deprived form?
Was he thinking you were an easy catch, from how Chris got into your bed so quickly that night?
Was he inwardly shaking his head at you for how you were still together with him in the first place?
Was he-
“Anyways, a couple of the guys from high school are throwing some welcome home party for me this Saturday night. I was wondering if you had heard anything about it?” Felix said nonchalantly, which instantly forced your eyes back onto him.
His eyes were a little hooded, dark, and stormy as he looked on at you. Studying you, and your reaction to his admission. A party… being thrown for him. By the guys from Bridgeport Bay High.
“Uhm- no, I didn’t know about it.” You shook your head, fingers nervously playing with a loose thread of the blanket that was thrown over most of your body. “Is it gonna be a big party or just some friends from high school?”
“I think it’s just my friends from back then… you know, like Jisung and Changbin and stuff. Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to go?” He began, running a hand through his wet, messy hair and making himself look incredibly small and downright cute, with how he waited for your reply with big, sparkly eyes. “I mean, I know you're super fucking busy with summer classes and working at AW and-”
“Felix, just shut up, okay? I’d love to go.” You cut through his nonsensical ramblings, offering him a soft smile. “Besides, I’ve been meaning to get away from the daily grind… it’d be kinda fun, to start the summer season with a party and some old friends.”
His eyes widened at your answer, almost like he was expecting you to completely turn him down. Almost like, he thought you’d pick working at Angel Waves and university homework over going to a party with your friends. “Wow- okay, yeah… I mean, I think it’s gonna be a good time. You can invite whoever you want to. Like, it’s not a closed party or anything.”
“Great, then I’ll bring Chris and Yeji along with me.”
Immediately, his bright, shit-eating grin dropped. His face turned a little shadowy again, like the look he had had before when you had admitted to having a long night with Chan.
Obviously, he still wasn’t keen on the fact that you and Chris were still together. But since it had been so long since the two of you had talked with one another, and you were just starting to rekindle your friendship, you supposed that he didn’t feel like it was his place to tell you his feelings about everything.
After all, you had ended things altogether over your relationship with Chris. So it was quite a sore spot for both of you.
Like the elephant in the fucking room, you were reminded of why you had stopped talking in the first place. And it was all over your boyfriend.
“Do you know where it’s gonna be?” You asked, and that seemed to snap him out of his broody funk, as his face brightened up somewhat. He brushed the towel he had been holding in his hand through his locks, drying the blonde tresses off as best as he could.
“Yeah, pretty sure Jeongin’s hosting. You know where his place is, right?”
You nodded slowly, as you began to recall the last time you had been over at his house. You were never particularly close with some of Felix’s friends from high school, so you hadn’t seen most of them since your graduation. Even still, you could vaguely recall where Jeongin lived. “Yup- he’s on the corner of Albany Drive and Cornerstone, right? It’s that little blue house tucked just against the mountainside.”
Felix flashed you a proud smile, pleased to hear that you still remembered. “You got it," he winked playfully, "Supposedly, his parents are away for the weekend at some couples getaway in Sydney, so he’ll have the whole place to himself.”
“There’ll be liquor there too, right?”
Your old friend gave you a funny look, brows furrowing a little bit. You had never been a big alcohol drinker, even during all of the parties that your classmates would hold during high school. Usually, you’d take a few sips and then call it a night, not liking the taste and bitterness of it all.
“Uhm- I guess, why?” Felix wiggled a mischievous eyebrow your way, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. “You planning on getting shit-faced or something?”
You rolled your eyes dramatically, folding your arms across your chest and giving him your best I-mean-business frown. “It’s been a long week, Lix. Fuck it, a long year.”
But then, just as soon as you had said his old nickname, your entire body froze up in your chair. You stared at him with wide eyes, watching as it registered in his brain that you had called him such a thing. It had been your special little thing that you had started soon after becoming friends. No one called him ‘Lix’ except you, and that’s how the two of you liked it.
The ocean tides lapping at the shore in the background seemed to fade out, as the tension between you stretched on and your heart pounded against your ribcage. You breathed in sharply through your nose, and it burned like an absolute bitch on the way down.
Almost as quickly as the little moment between you had started, it was cut short by the harsh clearing of his throat. “Yeah, well, I could go for a drink or two- or ten.” He laughed, tone straining at the end of his words as your eyes locked once again and the breath caught in your throat.
You kept still, just like that, looking out at him, as he stood so close to the railing of the porch, not even five paces away from your spot in the whicker chair.
And for a split second, you contemplated inviting him onto the porch with you.
Even worse, inviting him into your place. Something that you hadn’t done in… over four years.
Just as fast as the thoughts dawned on your mind, you were shaking them away entirely. No- he was just an old friend that you were starting to rekindle a friendship with.
Besides, you were in a loving relationship with your boyfriend, Chris. There was no need for Felix to walk through your house and come into your bedroom again and see such intimate parts of yourself once more. He had lost that privilege when he treated you like a total piece of shit senior year and completely ghosted you for four years straight while he was off living the dream life in South Korea.
“Well, I should probably head inside now… we’ve got a busy day ahead at the restaurant, and all…” You swallowed thickly, allowing yourself one fleeting last look at him before you were moving up and out of your chair and towards the front door. “Anyways, I guess I’ll see you Saturday night, then.”
Felix nodded, giving you one of those sad, little smiles. The one’s he’d have whenever the two of you had to part ways for the day during your high school years since you didn't share a lot of the same classes. “Mhm- good luck with the restaurant, I know how crazy things can get around this time of year.”
A heavy sigh escaped your lips, as you pulled the blanket around your body a little tighter to hide your sheer pajamas from him. “Don’t even get me started… it’s complete hell.”
It wasn’t until your body was halfway through the threshold of the front door, that you heard Felix’s deep voice rising up and above the swells of the seashore.
“Maybe I’ll see you around again, in the early mornings…” His words trailed off, making you turn back to catch a glimpse of the wistful look that danced across his face at the thought.
“Perhaps…” You mused, grinning softly just as you made your way into the house and closed the door shut behind you.
You had never been a person who liked waking up early. It was more like you loved staying up late into the night, and then sleeping in well into the afternoon. In a perfect world, you’d go to bed at three in the morning and rise again at noon.
But at that moment, as you shifted through the quiet air of your childhood home, you suddenly realized that perhaps you could become a morning person.
Perhaps, you could find it in yourself to begin rising early in the morning.
To catch the beautiful sunrises,
And take in the cerulean ocean waking from its nightly stupor,
And also…
To catch a glimpse of Lee Felix on one of his morning swims.
To be continued...
🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.
🌊 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @skzcollision :: @noellllslut :: @skz-streamer :: @hello-2-u-from-me @/leyknxw a blue tag means that there was an error in tagging you.
(the following spam of rbs have been gathering dust in my drafts forever. i'm starting college this sept and just want to thank this author for making my whole summer with this series xx)
WHY am I only finding this story now????
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I'm already obsessed goodbye
This is really good, I love the background and the setting. It's relatable and believable. I thinks it's because I live a (sort of) similar life so the main character and felix touch my heart deeply. (I've had to pull a felix on my friends before, moving away and all😔✋)
Anyways WHY IS HE SO SEXY??? PLS MC DITCH CHRIS YOU'RE MAKING OUT W/ THE WRONG PERSON
Ok but also if someone tried to hit me with an “I know what you guys serve, Y/N. I’m not a complete idiot” their days would be numbered😀👍
Kinda sceptical about both Felix and Chris... But we'll have to see what happens in the following chapters.
𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬
𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →
pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)
genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.
content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉
word count: 4.7k
summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.
a/n: ugh I'm FINALLY starting to write/post this... it feels like I've been stewing over this single idea for MONTHS lmao!! 😩😭 a big thanks to all of my amazing stay writer friends in the writer's club... ya'll are so fucking lovely and I adore you're continual support of my work!! 🥹 I have no idea how many parts this will be, but I'm anticipating for it to be at least 20.k words so... there's that haha! hope ya'll enjoy, and lmk what you think - your thoughts are always welcome! 💞
🌊 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ
“Hey Y/N, can you please get the next table? I think Jordan just seated another customer.” Your best friend Yeji asked you in a light, cheery voice. She was walking past you into the kitchens, both hands full of dirty dishes, her midnight black hair blowing in the breeze that rushed into the restaurant from the open windows that lined the entire place.
“Sure thing babe!” You gave her a playful wink, offering up a faint smile before you finished helping ring up another customer’s order.
Just like every other weekend, your parent's restaurant - Angel Waves - was bustling with activity, as a solid line formed outside the doors with patrons waiting to snag a seat in the popular joint. A mix between a tropical tiki bar and a fish shack, Angel Waves - or AW for short - was located just off of the beach. With a wrap-around porch and huge bay windows that offered stunning views of the beautiful cerulean sea just a few feet away, AW had been a critically-acclaimed restaurant by the locals for decades.
Initially, it had been your father’s dream to open up a restaurant. But then he married your mother, and things took off soon after the wedding. In no time at all, she was pregnant with you while simultaneously helping your father build the restaurant from the ground up. To date, he had added three more parts to the place, making it rather expansive. With the bright neon signs and fire-burning torches that lined the perimeter of it, AW could be spotted on the shoreline from miles away. The inside was decorated rather plainly, with bright pops of tropical colors here and there and wooden chairs lined throughout the area.
But at night, the vibes of the restaurant came to life. As the patrons at the seated bar grew louder, the tropical music increased in volume and added to the overall atmosphere of laid-back tourists and locals alike.
Having grown up in Bridgeport Bay, which was a small seaside town in the East part of Australia, you were used to the leisurely way of things. But to some, it would seem like everyone around was just lazy. When in fact, people knew how to have a good time - and that was all that mattered to a lot of locals.
Including yourself.
Your parents had raised you in the small house that was just off the backside of the restaurant, so the tropical way of life had always been the only thing you had known. You didn’t mind living the same daily routine - waking up early to help with chores, then attending classes at the local university, before arriving back at the restaurant in time to help with the night shifts. Plus, it helped that one of your best friends, Yeji, had been working with you at the restaurant since she was a young teenager.
Now, at the tender age of twenty-two, you were well acquainted with your surroundings. You were set in stone about what you wanted to do with your life. And after you finished getting your degree in Environmental Science, you hoped to aid in the environmental impact of Bridgeport Bay, since environmental efforts were one of your biggest passions in life.
As you stared around the dimly lit restaurant that was busy with customers and servers alike, you felt yourself come alive under the energy of it all. And getting a hint of the salty sea breeze on your tongue, you made to help the newest customer in placing their order.
The early June sun was just beginning to set over the horizon of the ocean, painting the brilliant light blue sky in shades of violets and fuchsias. Your attention was momentarily pulled away from your task at hand, as you were completely captivated by the look of the rippling water shining underneath the fading sunlight.
But you quickly snapped yourself out of your daze, already grabbing hold of your notepad and pen as you came up to the new table you were waiting on. Without looking up, you began to write down the time and your name on the top corner of the paper, like you always did before taking an order. “Hi, welcome to Angel Waves. My name’s Y/N and I’ll be your server. What can I get started for you tonight?”
There was a pause on the customer’s end, and the noise of the restaurant overtook all of your senses for a few moments, but then everything dimmed out into a faint hum as the customer spoke.
“Hi… Y/N.”
Immediately, without even giving it a second thought, your head shot up from the piece of paper on your notepad that you had been previously staring at.
Heart hammering in your chest, throat constricting in anxiety, with the flush already clawing up your neck and pooling in either of your cheeks.
All at the sight of…
Him.
Lee Felix.
The boy that you had grown up with. The one that had moved in next door to your restaurant when you were five years old. The one who had attended preschool, middle school, and high school with you.
The boy who had been your best friend in the entire world for over a decade.
And also, the single most person whom you hadn’t talked to in over four years.
But no- he was no longer a boy.
No- as he sat there, peering up at you with that familiar face of his, you suddenly came to acknowledge the years that had passed between the two of you.
Evidently, his time away at university for four years in South Korea changed him. Drastically.
From the long, sandy bleached-blonde locks that fell across his forehead, to the milky, blemish-free skin. His eyes were darker, too. More intense. And the sharp lines of his face were almost startling - with a jaw that could cut through steel, a proud nose, and prominent cheekbones.
He was no longer the awkward and geeky boy he had grown up with. The boy who had short, cropped black hair in his senior year of high school and braces for three years, and cystic acne that lasted well into his junior year of high school.
He looked…
Like a fully grown man.
And you didn’t know how to feel about that.
It made your stomach turn in a sickening kind of way. Made your heart pound against your ribcage painfully.
He was staring up at you, watching your blatant perusal of him in silence with a ticked-up, perfectly manicured dark eyebrow.
But some things hadn’t changed, at least, as he flashed you that tiny, easy smile he always seemed to have plastered on his face.
“F-Felix- wow, hi. I-” You began, stammering over your words in your utter surprise. You felt your eyes widen from your stupid blubbering, and the panic chilled down your spine from the way that he laughed heartily at your reaction to him sitting in front of you. “It’s uh- good to see you again, holy fuck.”
“Yeah, you too…” He finally pulled his gaze from yours, offering you some respite from the intensity of his matured eyes. You took in a deep breath as his focus scanned over the restaurant all around you. “Glad to see this place hasn’t changed one bit since the last time I came around these parts.”
“What brings you back to the coast?” You asked, rocking onto the backs of your heels like you always did when you were nervous. Bridgeport Bay was a small town that was connected to a set of other ones similar to it, which all lined the same coast of Eastern Australia.
After all, soon before he left to study in South Korea, he had vowed to you that he’d never step foot in ‘this hellish beach town’ ever again.
Obviously, he had proven himself wrong.
He shrugged broad shoulders, making you realize how much his physique had changed too. He was fitted in a loose t-shirt and faded jeans, but you could just barely make out the outlines of muscles underneath the baggy fabric. His back was proud and he sat up completely straight in his chair, the opposite of how he used to be in your childhood - always slouched and with thin, frail limbs. He was still petite in stature, but now made up for his lack of height with muscle. Even so, he still outranked you in height by a good three inches.
He was acting like it was no big deal - like none of it was a big deal. Not him coming back to Bridgeport after such a long time and looking so different from how you had known him as. “I just graduated, so I decided to spend the summer back at my parent’s place before I decide what I wanna do with my life.” Felix leaned over in his seat then, leveling you with that stare he always gave whenever he was trying to get a read on your feelings. “What about you? I see you’re still working for your folks…”
His voice trailed off. And if you didn’t know him any better, you’d assume that he had a pretentious air about him. Sure, he was the scrawny boy that had shipped off to South Korea, only to come back four years later looking hot as hell with a solid education and most-likely loads of crazy stories to tell to everyone who’d listen.
You, on the other hand, were still stuck in the same position that you had always been in. Living in Bridgeport Bay, in your parent's house, and helping work the restaurant while attending school at a nearby university.
It was comforting, in a sense, to have the same daily routine. But you could also acknowledge the fact that Bridgeport Bay was a fairly quiet place - in other words, not much happened. Most people your age had already moved away as soon as they graduated from high school, either traveling to the big city of Sydney to get a degree or going overseas to bigger and better places.
And there you were… still stuck in the same turquoise-walled bedroom from your childhood, with the same group of three friends, and waking to the same view every single morning. The brilliant pinks and oranges of the sunrise against the ocean water got old in about… two days.
Folding your arms across your chest, you almost felt like you were trying to protect yourself from him. Lee Felix, who had been your childhood best friend. But who, unbeknownst to you, had turned into this ethereal, untouchable beast of a man in the absence of your friendship. It felt foreign and odd, to have him studying you so intently with those dark eyes. “Yeah, I’m still living here in Bridge… same friends, same habits, you know how it is around these parts.” You tried to laugh off the awkwardness you suddenly felt, but your tone came out all flat and warbled.
Felix was still staring up at you, but this time, his gaze melted exponentially. So much so, that it suddenly felt like you were the one staring into his soul - picking apart his emotions as he sat there in front of you, head tilted up in curiosity. And the feelings you saw dance across his eyes, for just a split second, made your heart tumble in the pit of your chest.
“Same friends, huh?” He asked, but it wasn’t a question he was seeking an answer for. After that, his focus was yanking away from you, as he looked down at the menu before him on the table. You watched his adam’s apple bob up and down, throat constricting as he took in a sharp breath.
You could feel the air shift around you as soon as you mentioned friends. Because besides Yeji and Felix, the only other person you had truly had a connection with in Bridgeport Bay was… Christopher Bang. The two of you had met during your freshman year of high school and had been quite inseparable ever since. You had a raging crush on him, and apparently, he had one on you too - since he had asked you out on your first-ever date at the start of your final year in high school.
By the time you all were graduating from Bridgeport Bay High, you and Chris were the it couple. With him being the popular soccer jock, it was only right that you started to get popular as well - since you were the ‘hot girlfriend’ who was always hanging on his arm. Chris was nice and funny and was friends with literally all of the high schoolers in the area, so you liked being around him.
But the more time you spent with him, the less you spent with Felix. And by the time graduation rolled around, your friendship had suffered big time from your new relationship with Chris. Felix didn’t approve at all of the two of you guys dating. He had always waved off your swooning throughout the years as ‘hormonal imbalances,’ but as soon as the two of you became official, his entire tune changed.
All of a sudden, he was getting angry at you. With such a short temper, he would have outbursts during most of your hangouts. And it wasn’t until the night of your graduation that all of the building tension finally broke, like a pinprick to a fragile balloon full of water.
The night had ended in a colossal blow-up on both of your ends - with Felix’s anger exploding in your face and making him out to be some ugly, dark boy. And definitely, not the kid you had grown up to love and care for. During the argument, he had finally admitted that he hated Chris' guts - that he saw right through his little scheme, and he thought the guy was a horrible match for you.
Of course, you retaliated tenfold by throwing his singleness in his face. Since, during the entirety of your high school years, he had never once dated any girl. That insult was low for even you, and soon had him storming off the scene, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat from your stubbornness. You hadn’t listened to him the whole time, only registering the fact that he didn’t approve of you and Chris being together. Like he was your fucking dad and he needed to give his consent to every man you loved and dated.
And that turned out to be the last time the two of you ever saw or talked to each other for the next four years. Since just a week after graduation, Felix had completely vanished from Bridgeport Bay. When you went over to his house to make things up, his parents informed you that he’d already left for South Korea earlier than expected.
His absence didn’t fully register until you tried to call and text him that night, only to be left with an error message in return. Since he was moving to a different country, he needed to change his phone number. He had already informed you of such a thing weeks earlier, and the two of you had planned on setting up a special app where you could text. But the two of you had forgotten about such a detail in the business of graduation season, so there was no way to contact him.
Instead, you were faced with living in the wake of his departure - you were forced to relive the big fight between the two of you for months after that, rehashing things and stewing over all of the feelings again and again. And finally, after a year of being heartbroken over the shattered friendship with your best friend in the entire world, you decided to move on.
To bigger, and better things.
Like the friends you still had in Bridgeport Bay, going to university, and working at the restaurant.
And, Chris too.
Since your relationship had only blossomed from there, having quickly turned into a four-year ordeal of fun dates and long night chats and walks along the sandy beachside in the late afternoon sunset.
“I’ll have the salmon bowl with brown rice, please.” Felix’s deep timbre pulled you out of your daze of thought, shocking you back into the present. You were still standing there at his table, in the middle of a busy dinner rush, waiting for his order. “Oh, and a side of fried pineapple rings too.”
“Okay, and what kind of drink would you like with all of that?” You asked, mind turning off and zoning into work mode as you wrote down his order. “We have all kinds of-”
“I know what you guys serve, Y/N. I’m not a complete idiot.”
His deadpan retort came out in that unfamiliar voice of his, automatically ripping your eyes away from your notepad.
And there he was, peering up at you again.
But this time, his eyes were a lot more hooded - darker, even. Swimming with tension, his sharp jaw pulled taut in what appeared to be annoyance.
Before you could even get another word out, he was speaking again. In that raspy, deep tone, and you had no idea how you could get used to all of the changes at once. “I’ll take a coke- if that’s okay.”
You nodded, once, your tongue feeling like lead in your mouth. It was heavy and hard to move to form any more words, so you decided against talking and just flitted away from his table altogether with his order.
As you were passing by the open bar, you tossed Jordan, one of your coworkers, a pointed look. “Take care of table seven for me, will ya?” You motioned with a slight tilt of your head to where Felix was sitting across from the window.
Jordan frowned, eyes turning to slits as soon as he registered who was sitting at the table. The two of you had never been particularly friends, since he was a few years older than you. But he had been working as a waiter/bartender at AW for the past seven years and knew all of the regulars who came by. He also knew who Felix was, and what he meant to you.
“The little bastard giving you any trouble, darling?” He asked in a low voice as he slid a full glass of craft beer across the porcelain countertop to a waiting elderly man. “I can take care of him if you-”
“What? No, no,” you said frantically, waving your hands in the air to stop him from going any further. Eyes shifting back to Felix, you registered the way that he was sitting there, shoulders slightly slumped in his seat, as he stared out the large window to his left side, examining the lapping waves of the seashore. “No- I just… I can’t handle all of… that tonight.”
Jordan gave you a soft smile, flashing a wink your way before he was back mixing another cocktail for a new customer. “You know I’ll always cover for your ass, baby girl.”
You giggled quietly at his absurd pet names. You knew that he was never seriously calling you any of them, but it was more in an affectionate, brotherly kind of way. Plus, he was viscerally gay, so you never had to worry that the nicknames were ever alluding to more than just a coworker-to-coworker friendship.
By the time you left the bar where Jordan was busily working and filed into the kitchen, you were once again swept up in the chaos of it all. Servers and managers bustling about, chefs shouting orders out at each other. And in no time at all, your mind was drowned in your work and you no longer could hold any space for the thought of him.
Yeji failed to catch sight of him in her busyness, which you were thankful for. She and Felix had been friends in high school, but no one had been as close to him as you had. At least, until your colossal fight on graduation night. Then, even you weren't close to Lee Felix.
The night passed by rather quickly, as you heeded your parent's commands and helped out with the dinner rush as best as you could - taking orders, scrubbing dishes in the back of the kitchen, and cleaning up tables after customers had left their spots.
By the time closing hour was nearing at eleven o'clock, most of the customers had left for the night - save for a few couples dispersed throughout the place and a rowdy group of men who had steadily gotten drunker on their liquor as the hours passed. Jordan was somehow managing them swimmingly, playing into their flirtations and pouring them drinks that were ‘on the house,’ but really, just made a bigger cut in his tip paycheck.
You were so invested and focused on your work at the register, as you sorted through all of the orders from that night, that you failed to notice the shadow that was slinking across the wall, coming towards you steadily.
But finally, the dark figure was upon you and snaking two strong arms around your waist, pulling you away from the front counter and pressing your back against a chiseled chest.
Already sensing who it was, you giggled softly and turned your head up to look into the eyes of your boyfriend, Chris, whom you had been dating for the past five years. He had always said that he didn’t want anything ‘too serious’ and that he was happy with just dating you until the last of his days. And to be honest, you weren’t complaining all that much.
Although, you sometimes got bothered by the thought of never getting to marry the man you had loved for so long. Once in a while, you’d get into this odd annoying spell where you’d be angry that he never wanted to make a complete and solid life with you - and instead wanted to continue dating happily like the two of you were still in high school.
But in the end, you always managed to push those frustrated thoughts away, deeming everything to be alright since you could do anything if it meant living the rest of your days out with the love of your life, Chris.
“When did you get here?” You asked, as you reached up and twisted a few fingers through his midnight coils. They were curly and stood up at all different ends, something you had always loved about him. That, and his killer body.
“Just a second ago- thought I’d surprise you and take you out to dinner after your long, hard day at work…” His voice trailed off, as his hands squeezed down on your shoulders, long fingers massaging the aches and pains away.
You felt a sly smirk already starting to spread across your mouth as you leaned into him and pressed a wanting kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, you were talking in a quiet voice. “Give me a few minutes, I’m almost done with my sorting.”
Just as you tried to escape from his grasp, Chris tightened his hold over you, arms encircling your waist and pressing your ass into the front of his sweatpants. You could feel the hardness there, just through the line of the thin fabric.
Oh, so we wanted the night to result in that kind of date.
“Nah- I’m not letting you go,” he mumbled in a deep voice, mouth coming close to your ear as he whispered into it, warm breath fanning against the exposed span of your neck. “Been thinking about you all day baby, want you so bad tonight…”
He let the rest of his words trail off, forcing an ugly blush to bleed into either of your cheeks. Then he was spinning around so that he was completely facing you. The darkness of the restaurant cast a shaded glow over his broad shoulders, as he pressed into you with a sardonic smile plastered across his face.
“What’s so funny, mister?” You asked, tracing a finger over the line of his jaw as he tilted down into you and gave your nose a light peck.
“Nothing, just… I love riling you up like this when you’re at work. Feels… exhilarating.”
Then you had no time to react, as his face was moving and capturing your lips up in a lustful kiss. His mouth was plush and familiar against yours, and immediately, you were melting into his firm grasp, moaning softly at the way that one of his hands trailed down the curve of your ass, squeezing the covered skin there.
You guys were practically making out at the front counter of the restaurant, for everyone else to see. And in most normal circumstances, you’d feel embarrassed. But at the moment, you just felt overwhelmed with love and desire for your amazing, handsome boyfriend Chris.
As your fingers carded through his curly locks, bringing his face closer to yours as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip, asking for entrance, your eyes shot open. Scanning the entire room, your focus caught on the front door, and the person who was slipping out of it in silence.
And there he was, once again.
Lee Felix.
Your once-best friend,
Your once long-time neighbor,
Your once-classmate for more than ten years.
He was standing there at the front door, halfway stepping through it. But his body was turned around so that he was staring straight at… you. As you were practically getting groped by your boyfriend in the middle of Angel Waves, as your mouth was getting absolutely devoured by Chris’ lips.
And the look he gave you then, as your gazes locked in a shocking bout of tension, left you feeling both furious and confused all at the same time.
His eyes studied your form, which was so tangled up with your boyfriend’s at the moment. And even from across the room, you could see the feelings that crossed his coffee-brown irises as he watched you in silence.
There was sadness there,
And pain, too.
But also…
An irrevocable amount of… ire too.
The heat of jealousy that you found there burned like fire in the back of your throat, making your heart tumble around in your chest and the butterflies to flicker around in a frenzy just inside your stomach.
The sight of it all forced an agonizing zap of energy to course through your veins, rising your spine and causing gooseflesh to erupt across your skin.
Then, as quickly as you had registered it, it was all gone.
And he was leaving out the front door, the bell at the top of the glass jingling in the remaining trace of his departure.
There you stood, having to deal with the confusion that bled through your mind and the anxious jumbling that floated around your entire body.
And the worst part about it?
Was that the entire time, you had never stopped kissing Chris.
Never stopped yanking on his locks, allowing Chris to take parts of you in front of everyone else.
In front of… him.
You had continued to feverishly make out with your boyfriend, all the while your attention had been distracted on Lee Felix, and the way that he had stared at you so wholly and starkly.
Almost like, the two of you were playing in a silent battle of the wits.
With him, having always disapproved of your relationship with Christopher Bang.
And you, having been in love with Chris for the past eight years.
In the end, you had chosen your respective sides - what with you dating the love of your life, and Felix sitting on the sidelines, giving you an air of rebuttal as he stared on in barely masked disgust.
But you didn’t care what he thought. You weren’t living for him and you didn’t give two shits about any of his opinions. Especially after everything that had happened and from the way that you hadn’t spoken in literal years.
Yeah, you definitely didn’t care about what he thought.
So why, then, did the look he give you just before he left the restaurant, cause your heart to race so much?
Why did it cause a cold sweat to break out across your brow?
Why did it flood your mind so much, that you could no longer focus on anything else?
Like an intoxicating drug, like the most lethal of poisons, he was infecting your entire being.
With his changed physique and persona and voice and… everything.
But especially, the way that he had glanced at you so sardonically.
So darkly.
So painfully.
So…
Sinfully.
To be continued...
🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.
🌊 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @/leyknxw a blue tag means that there was an error in tagging you.
@yonglixx Lino going to collect Han from 3racha dorm💀💀
Your daily dose of cat memes
SOMEONE SAVE ME XJDHFHCHCH💀💀💀💀💀 HELLPPP😭😭
sunshine☀️
⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series
⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound
⚝word count: 4k
⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...
You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.
Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.
“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.
“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.
—
You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.
You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.
You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.
He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.
The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.
The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.
He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.
When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.
Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.
After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.
You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.
What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.
His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.
But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.
—
The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.
But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.
“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”
“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.
His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”
“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”
You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”
Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.
“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.
“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”
“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.
“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.
“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”
“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”
Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.
“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.
“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?
“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.
Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.
Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.
Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.
—
You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.
A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.
The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.
You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.
Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”
“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.
“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.
“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.
“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”
“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”
“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.
You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”
“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”
He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.
Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.
“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”
You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”
He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.
“I missed you,” you admitted.
“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.
“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.
“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”
Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.
“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”
“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.
“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”
“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.
“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.
“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”
Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.
You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.
“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.
“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.
⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D
⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks
THE ENDING DIALOGUE NOO😭😭😭 Gosh, this is wrecking me AAH! Props to Yeonjun for being the voice of reason btw😩
0x1 lovesong is actually the song that made me a MOA so you adding it to this fic makes this SO precious to me❤ I also LOVED the band positions you have the members.
SYNOPSIS: Your long term relationship with Beomgyu ended due to you both having different paths that you guys wanted to achieve in life. However why does it seem after a year later, the both of you still yearn for one another.
INCLUDES: rockstar!beomgyu x reader, exes to lovers, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, cussing, mentions of other members, aespa’s Giselle and Winter
WC: 2k
TAGLIST: @forever-in-the-sky2 @yaevsi @bangchansbae @mental-hollows @woncheecks
A year earlier you found yourself in the most happiest point in your life. You were dating your Prince Charming and were pursuing the one thing you loved.
Beomgyu was the most uniquest person you’d ever met. No matter where you both were he seemed to light up everything and anything that was around him. He was quite literally your whole world, everything seemed so dull and grey without him.
Beomgyu was a rockstar. You had been with him ever since he used to just practice with his band in their garage. Their name was Tomorrow x Together. He was effortlessly good at playing his electric guitar, it always left you fascinated.
He’d even make small dumb songs about you and sing them to you, which never failed to bring a smile on your face.
You remembered when they dropped their first album. It was a hit and they grew in popularity very fast. Frost and Loser Lover was a total fan favorite. Although when they started going on tour, that’s when you guys both noticed how your relationship was slowly crumbling.
You were getting wrapped up in your studies and well, he was on tour. Even though you guys texted and called daily it was still hard.
Both of you weren’t present in the relationship. Your guys schedules never matching up so it began to get tiring. So sadly the both of you decided to part ways. It was weird to you because even though Beomgyu was always gone, when you both agreed it was over it hurt you way more than you expected. Maybe it was because of the fact that he was actually gone.
It took you awhile to get over him, or try to. Your moment of weakness brought you to your most stupidest idea ever. Buying tickets to one of his concerts.
In your defense a thousands of people would be there so you’d be able to hide amongst them. Plus it had been a year since your breakup so it’s not like you mattered to him anymore.
They were coming to your hometown so you thought it’d be cool, you never saw them live, only when you were invited by Beomgyu and they’d just practice. You knew they were big so you wanted to see how it would go.
Beomgyu stares out of the window, it was night time already and they were making it back to the hotel. It was so weird to be back here, all of it was surrounded and reminded him of you.
His eyes soften at the thought of you and his heart stings. He pulls away and looks at his hands, far away in his thoughts.
“Hey you okay?” Yeonjun bumps his shoulder, glancing at Beomgyu. He immediately smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Yea I’m fine.” He nods and Yeonjun knows better, he blinks at him and shakes his head.
“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Yeonjun asks and Beomgyu’s head snaps up.
The rest of the guys knew about your breakup because it messed with Beomgyu physically and mentally. He didn’t even go on stage for a majority of a concert because he couldn’t find the will to be up there. Not without his motivation anymore yet he mustered up some of it.
Something Beomgyu never told you but hoped you knew was that you were his motivation and his will to achieve his dreams. Your support was all he needed to feel like he could take on the whole world. So when you guys broke up, you took it all with you, leaving him with nothing but him and his awful mind.
“Maybe just a little.” He sheepishly laughs.
“We’ll be outta here in no time don’t worry.” Yeonjun pats his back.
Even though those words were meant to calm him down, he feels his heart yearn for you, not wanting to leave.
It was the day of the concert and you were beginning to have your doubts, yet it didn’t help you that your friends were in complete support of it.
“What do you mean you want to refund the tickets?! You’re not refunding shit!” Giselle rolled her eyes, shooing you away with her hand.
Winter laughed glancing at you, “Nothing bad is gonna happen, just go enjoy yourself.” Giselle aggressively nods along with Winter, pointing her spatula at you.
“As a matter of fact! We’ll help you get all dolled up.” They both smile and you deadpan.
“Really. I have no one to impress.” You scoff and Giselle smooshes your cheeks.
“I don’t care! Like Winter said. You’re gonna go have fun and look sexy as hell!”
The night of the concert both of the girls went to drop you off.
“I still don’t understand why you guys didn’t wanna come with me.” You grumble, getting ready to leave the car.
“You let us know all late! Plus did you see those resale tickets! You’re crazy if you think I got that type of money.” Giselle sighs, you and Winter laugh. Winter hugs you and rubs your shoulders.
“Have fun okay! Text or call if anything!” You nod, waving bye to them.
The venue was pretty big, when you checked in, it was clearly an amphitheater, however there was room for the pit. You decided to stop at the bar and get yourself a drink, nodding along to the other bands that were opening up for TXT.
However you couldn’t help but notice you were getting a lot of stares. Obviously, since Beomgyu is a rockstar, he’s famous. People were bound to know he had a girlfriend and when he broke up with said girlfriend.
You guys were never private about your relationship either. So you began to feel uneasy when people were starting to turn heads and whisper. Tonight was gonna be a long night.
Backstage, the members were all setting up their equipment since their time on stage was coming up. Staff members all running around to make sure soundcheck was good and everything was set up perfectly.
Inside the dressing room, Beomgyu and his members were doing some last minute check ups. However Beomgyu was filled with the same sense of dread again. Yeonjun could and would always read Beomgyu like an open book.
“Are you fine to go one stage?” He asks him and Beomgyu nods.
“Yea I just got this weird feeling, I don’t know.” Beomgyu rests his hand over his beating heart.
“You sure it’s not just the adrenaline?” Yeonjun grins and Beomgyu chews on his lip.
“Yea, maybe.” And with that Beomgyu leaves the room, and Yeonjun glancing at the closed door with a look of concern.
By the time the last band had finished, the pit filled up with people rushing down from their seats. So to say you were kinda squished was an under statement. The lights had already dimmed and the crowd begins chanting their name.
They all walk on stage waving at the crowd and you feel like your heart stops when you see Beomgyu.
His hair was long now, enough to cover his neck. It was dyed an orangey brown. A choker adorning his neck. He wore a ripped up knitted striped sweater and his classic black ripped jeans.
His smile was huge and with the way his eyes sparkled, you knew he was born to do this.
“Whattup MOA!” Yeonjun yells and the crowd cheers. The rest of the members move to get their instruments.
“Wow there’s so many of you guys.” Soobin laughs, adjusting his guitar. “Duh, they sold this shit out!” Taehyun yells and people scream.
“Before we start playing for you guys, there might be some newbies here so we’d like to introduce ourselves.” Kai suggests, starting a basic drum line to get the crowd going.
“We’re Tomorrow by Together! We’re a little different from other bands, even though I’m chosen as the leader singer, we all do sing.” Yeonjun laughs.
“Alright so on bass we have Taehyun!” The crowd yells as he plays a small riff, his face adorning a huge smile.
“On guitar we got Soobin!” He waves and bows with a cute smile.
“We could never forget our best drummer out there, Kai!” He plays a more upbeat drum track and the crowd cheers.
“Last but not least, our lead guitarist, Beomgyu!” The lights go crazy and he waves, running a hand through his hair as he smiles.
You don’t miss the fact on how the crowd goes crazy over Beomgyu, he truly was an ace and everyone favored his raspy voice and excellent guitar playing.
The lights shut off out of nowhere and the intro to Frost begins playing. Beomgyu begins strumming the strings on his guitar as Kai’s voice rings out through the venue.
“Are you fucking ready!” Yeonjun yells. The crowd begins to move, clapping along with the beat. Right before the beat drops Yeonjun yells.
“Let’s go!”
You’re quickly emerged in the music, you find yourself smiling. They really did sound way better than in their garage. However you couldn’t seem to take your eyes away from Beomgyu.
You fondly smile at the way he seems to play with so much passion, his confidence eliciting from him, surrounding him like some sort of aura.
You lose track of time and they have already played through most of their songs so they take this time to interact with the fans.
“How are we all doing?” Yeonjun smiles and the everyone throws a thumps up in the air.
“You guys are killing it.” Taehyun smiles as well.
“So there has been some speculations of us coming out with a new album soon.” Kai says as the crowd gasps, everyone waiting in anticipation.
“In which we do.” Soobin laughs and the whole venue screams, some fans fanning themselves.
“This is gonna be our last song for you tonight.” Yeonjun says, making the crowd whine with a no. “But our last song will be a song from our new album.” The crowd immediately switches up, cheering loudly. With a wide grin, the members all turn to Beomgyu.
“I actually composed this song, so it means a lot to me.” Beomgyu nods shyly and the crowd Aw’s at his confession, yet this catches your attention.
“I made this song after a hardship I was going through at the time. This song is called 0X1=Lovesong also known as I know I love you.” He mumbles in the mic and Kai immediately starts drumming the intro.
You immediately freeze as you hear the rhythm. This was one of those playful songs Beomgyu had wrote for you, when you would chill in his room, softly nodding along to his soothing voice.
You could feel your eyes well up with tears, your bottom lip jutting out. The people in the crowd had already recognized who you were so they all would either turn to you or try to subtly look at you. You don’t stop your tears from falling when you hear him sing
“Say you love me, Say you love me.” Memories of you both singing along to it rushing through your mind. As you watch him you know he’s thinking the same thing with the way his voice seems to break as you can see him hold back tears.
Your heart breaks and this, this was thing you were afraid of. Seeing him like this, with his broken heart worn on his sleeve. The last verse he’s whispering into the mic, his voice broken yet so soft, touching the hearts of the thousands of people in the venue.
“All or nothing I want all of you, I know I love you.” Right when the words leave his mouth, the lights fade off.
The crowd is left speechless, not expecting the end of the concert to be so emotional, from a distance you could hear people sniffing and sobbing. You try to hold in your sobs but you couldn’t. You let yourself sob into your hands, your year of “letting go” and “moving on” all flushing down the drain. Some people tried to help you but you rush out of the sea of people and out the doors.
The cold air hits your face like whiplash and you rest against a wall. You sob again, your heart breaking what seems to be the millionth time. No matter how much you try to stop your sobs with your mouth or calm down it all just keeps coming out.
Right when the lights had dimmed, Beomgyu cries and Yeonjun runs to him, the others trying to help him off the stage.
“S-She’s here, she’s actually here.” He barely gets out, he didn’t know if he was relieved or even more heartbroken. Yeonjun sighs as he rubs his back.
“Beomgyu.” He whispers and Beomgyu looks at him. “If you truly feel like you guys are meant to be. Then go get her, because this isn’t a coincidence. This is fate giving you both another chance.”
Beomgyu doesn’t waste time, he rushes down the flight of stairs, taking the back door outside. He had saw you rush outside when they had finished. He silently prayed that you weren’t gone already.
His prayers are answered when he cuts the corner and finds you against the wall, crying by yourself. He feels his eyes water again, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms.
He whispers your name softly and your head is snapping in his direction. Your eyes widen, not being able to process that he was right in front of you.
“B-Beomgyu?” You hush out, your mind still mush. He steps closer to you, trying to clear some of the distance between the both of you.
Even though the both of you look like a mess, he’s laughing bitterly.
“How’ve you been?” He smiles fondly at you yet his bottom lip quivers.
“I’ve been okay.” You match his expression, trying to muster up a smile.
“You?”
He laughs as tears fall, shaking his head. “I’ve been okay too.”
You stare at each other, the both of you trying to rack your mind for words.
“I really miss you.” He whispers and you nod, shutting your eyes.
“I know, I do to. But we can’t Beomgyu.” Your voice breaks as you glance at your shoes.
He steps closer, “We’ll figure it out, I’ll figure something out, I’ll drop the band!” He says desperately, trying to look in your eyes and you shake your head.
“You’re meant to be up there, you shine Beomgyu, you were born to be a star. I don’t wanna hold you back from that.”
He shakes his quickly, “You won’t- You don’t hold me back, you never did. You’re the reason I got this far.”
He cries, your hand moves before you register what you’re doing. You wipe his tears, and he immediately leans into your palm, his own hand shooting up to grab you wrist.
“Please, Please I can’t live without you.” He shakes his head, his voice broken. You both cry and your other hand comes to hold his face.
“We can try again, just one last time.” You smile and he pulls you into a bone crushing hug but it feels comforting, it felt like home. His hand comes to caress your hair, as he shoves his face in the crook of your neck.
You both stand there under the street light pole, swaying side to side. His small laugh makes you pull away just enough to see his face.
“What?” You whisper and he rubs your cheek with his thumb.
“Say you love me, say you love me.” He sings softly and you laugh.
“Till the end of the world.” You sing back and he laughs softly, rubbing your cheek gently.
Neither of you say another word, letting your lips meet in a kiss you guys both had yearned for.
© 2023 aakomii — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING, SHARING MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS
This was so nice to wake up to😩 It's great to know there's an audience for pure angst on here! I was kinda worried about the copious amounts of it I'd dumped into this fic lmao😂
Angst lovers unite😩✊
And yeah I made sure he wasn't a total pushover😂 people need to learn how to stand their ground😤
⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series
⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound
⚝word count: 4k
⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...
You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.
Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.
“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.
“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.
—
You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.
You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.
You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.
He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.
The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.
The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.
He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.
When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.
Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.
After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.
You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.
What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.
His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.
But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.
—
The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.
But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.
“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”
“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.
His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”
“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”
You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”
Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.
“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.
“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”
“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.
“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.
“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”
“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”
Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.
“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.
“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?
“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.
Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.
Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.
Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.
—
You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.
A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.
The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.
You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.
Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”
“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.
“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.
“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.
“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”
“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”
“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.
You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”
“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”
He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.
Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.
“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”
You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”
He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.
“I missed you,” you admitted.
“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.
“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.
“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”
Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.
“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”
“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.
“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”
“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.
“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.
“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”
Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.
You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.
“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.
“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.
⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D
⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks
Thank youuu fhfhchd❤❤
Gossiping with skz
⚝fic type: head cannon (comedy/crack)
⚝word count: 1.4k
⚝A/N: I had so much fun writing this lmao, enjoy my unhinged assumptions ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ Thanks to @yonglixx for helping me find the gif.
Keep reading
THANK YOU ASJKDHBHD❤❤ This had me giggling, kicking my feet, twirling my hair... the whole damn package 😩
And stoppp Hyunsung lmfao💀💀 You sound like the kind of person I'd love to gossip with bahah! I am unfortunately such a Changbin, sigh😔 but oh well, it can't be helped😂
Thank you so much <3 I'm happy you like my style😭✊ And I hope you like what you find here haha. I'd suggest this as a starter, my other comedy headcannon featuring our chaotic kids😂
Gossiping with skz
⚝fic type: head cannon (comedy/crack)
⚝word count: 1.4k
⚝A/N: I had so much fun writing this lmao, enjoy my unhinged assumptions ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ Thanks to @yonglixx for helping me find the gif.
Keep reading
⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series
⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound
⚝word count: 4k
⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...
You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.
Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.
“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.
“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.
—
You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.
You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.
You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.
He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.
The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.
The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.
He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.
When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.
Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.
After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.
You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.
What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.
His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.
But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.
—
The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.
But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.
“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”
“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.
His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”
“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”
You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”
Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.
“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.
“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”
“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.
“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.
“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”
“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”
Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.
“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.
“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?
“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.
Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.
Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.
Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.
—
You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.
A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.
The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.
You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.
Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”
“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.
“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.
“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.
“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”
“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”
“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.
You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”
“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”
He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.
Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.
“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”
You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”
He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.
“I missed you,” you admitted.
“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.
“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.
“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”
Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.
“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”
“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.
“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”
“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.
“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.
“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”
Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.
You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.
“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.
“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.
⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D
⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks
hellooo! okayy we're back in air so I'll have that yeonjun fic out today :D
hi everyone! i was hoping to post my yeonjun fic for the weeknd series today but there's been a national blackout 💀💀
it'll be up as soon as i can get it when the systems are back up!!
⚝A/N: Join me and @aakomii in our collaborative event for this year's moa week! We wrote 5 pieces inspired by The Weeknd's songs and we hope you enjoy our interpretations of their meanings. We're so excited to bring you this series! Feel free to send an ask and join the event's taglist ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
(A)– written by ari
(J)– written by julian
—★—
DIE FOR YOU ⇝ CHOI SOOBIN (A)
↳nerd!soobin x troublemaker!reader, college au, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, slow burn, violence, bestfriends to lovers, arin from oh my girl (she's bitchy here we're sorry😭)
SAVE YOUR TEARS ⇝ CHOI YEONJUN (J)
↳exes to lovers, angst, heartbreak, fluff ending, yeonjun was a rebound i'm sorry haha
STARGIRL INTERLUDE ⇝ CHOI BEOMGYU (A)
↳rockstar!gyu x reader, exes to lovers, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, mentions of alcohol
IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE? ⇝ KANG TAEHYUN (J)
↳nobility!au, duchess!reader x viscount!taehyun, angst, fluff ending, established relationship, allusions to cheating
CAN'T FEEL MY FACE⇝ HUENING KAI (A)
↳barista!kai x barista!reader, forbidden love, cafe au, coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff, crack, mutual pining
—★—
TAGLIST: @mental-hollows
© 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝑷𝒊𝒏𝒕 | preview
the way they kept repeating and chanting this one part made it feel like i was watching some kind of summoning circle or a ritual of some kind
it's the way i physically cannot go 24 hours without listening to love me like this 🫠🫠🫠
every time nmixx releases a new song i don’t love it and then couple weeks later it’s my favorite thing what kind of slow burn is this
you wrote this SO WELL omfg
the last part was my favourite– ari you're steadily evolving into a QUEEN at dialogue!!
also fhfhdnfd the way she socked him in the gut💀💀 mc wasn't taking any BS and I'm living for it bahah
anyways ari bae came through with the soobin fic of the month ugh😻 absolutely snatched everyone's wig with this piece <333
SYNOPSIS: Watching Soobin fall into the hands of popularity when going into college broke you. You've made many sacrifices to see him happy and be by his side in general. So when he pushes you away, you wonder if he’ll ever reciprocate your undying love.
INCLUDES: nerd!soobin x troublemaker!reader, angst, fluff, slow burn, violence, alcohol consumption, bestfriends to lovers, arin from oh my girl (she’s a bitch in here sorry😭)
WC: 3k
TAGLIST: @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki
THE WEEKND EVENT MASTERLIST
You and Soobin were like Yin and Yang. While you were the Yin he was your Yang, and vice versa.
Soobin was always a quite and shy boy growing up, which unfortunately made him a main target for bullying. No matter what you never let some stupid boys pick on Soobin. He’s said it himself multiple times, he was never one for violence.
So it was always a wonder to people how you and him were inseparable. You were loud, always getting into trouble for fun, and just an extrovert overall. While Soobin was down to earth, shy, and an introvert. As the both of you got older the dynamic was still there.
That was until he got a major growth spurt, was taller than you, and had some muscle to him. Even though his appearance changed he was still that timid boy you grew up with.
The downside of your best friend going through puberty was he truly did not understand the power he held. By that, you had meant how attractive he’d got. You always found Soobin adorable and to be honest you still did. But if you were like the million girls at college who didn’t know him, he just looked like everyone’s dream boy. Tall, super hot, and kind.
This didn’t help that you had a raging crush on the guy ever since high school. You always told yourself he would never choose you since you were basically a delinquent. It was a mystery on how you were still in school at this point.
“You failed the test again?” Soobin pouted as he held your backpack around his shoulder. A lollipop adorned your mouth as you groaned.
“I told you Soob I only like English class.” He rolls his eyes.
“You should’ve chose an English major then.” He grumbled.
“Hey Soobin!” He turns behind him and you stop walking. It was a guy running up to him, which you recognized when he got closer. Ji Changmin also known as Q around campus. Soobin lights up dabbing his friend up, Changmin side-eyes you and returns his gaze back to Soobin.
“Me and the group were gonna go out to eat later, you should come!”
“I’d love to but I promise I’d help her.”
Soobin smiles jerking his head towards you. You shift on your feet as you feel his gaze rest on you. His glare is judging, which gets your brows to furrow. Starting to feel like a little bit of a burden.
“Oh.” He replies raking his eyes along your form. “Maybe next time then.” Soobin nods, continuing to walk.
“Look at you making friends.” You laugh, smacking his back. He groans, rubbing it. Yet this feeling of dread washes over you and you start to feel guilty. “You know, you can go Soob, I’ll figure something out.” You suck on your lollipop and he bumps shoulders with you.
“I already made plans with you.” He grins.
You should've known you guys weren't gonna study, you guys never did. It was never Soobin's fault though, you were good at distracting him and convincing him not to do work.
So now here you guys were splayed out on your bed, Soobin on his phone, and face masks adorning your guy's faces.
His head was on your lap and you were braiding parts of his hair. He slides his screen to camera mode and begins taking pictures of you completely off guard.
"Soob, you better delete those." You murmur and he just giggles, zooming on your face.
"You look so pretty though." He smiles again, turning the phone towards you.
You're taken aback as you look at yourself. You weren't even looking at his hair but you were looking at him, the fact that he caught this on camera made you flush, rushing to grab his phone.
"Delete it!" You yell and he laughs, falling back against your bed.
"Never." He smiles, you don't even realize you've crawled on top of him.
You pout, finally giving up, when you come to the realization that you're now on his lap you scurry off. He looks a little confused as to why you're so embarrassed right now but he smiles, finding the whole ordeal cute.
"Stop looking at me like that." You turn away and look away from him.
It was always hard to look away from Soobin. The way his dimples showed up when he'd smile so big or the way his eyes turned into crescents when he laughed.
“You say that yet you’re the on staring.” He snickers and you get up to leave.
“I hate you!” He’s right in front of you, pulling your face mask off.
“No you don’t, now come on.” He skips away, making you flush.
It was no surprise that Soobin’s friends didn’t take a liking to you. However, you didn’t really care because you didn’t like them either.
They were constantly crashing yours and Soobin’s hangouts or stealing him away. Yet this time you finally had enough.
You were particularly excited for today because you hadn’t hung out in a while. (Due to him hanging with his other friends).
You bought him tteokbokki and the both of decided to have a small picnic. Simple and relaxing. Is what you thought it would be.
“Soobin!” Someone yells, he quickly turns his head to find Arin, a smile adorning his face.
“Oh hey what’s up.” He blinks, she stands in front of him, totally blocking your view. Your face falls, brows furrowing.
“Let’s go out together.” You roll your eyes at her obviously dramatic high pitched voice.
“Yea sure when?”
It upsets you that he’s talking so casually, as if she didn’t just crash your hangout. Although you didn’t blame Soobin.
“Right now, come on.”
You swear you feel a vein pop on your head and you finally break.
“Can you not see we’re hanging out right now?” You seethe and she slowly turns to you.
“Oh. Didn’t see you.” She replies, glaring at you.
“Well you can leave now.” You roll your eyes and she laughs.
“Soobin wouldn’t want that. Right Soob?”
You breathe out an air of pure astonishment. No way she just used your nickname for him. He looks between you both stuttering over his words.
“Well, no I-”
“Unbelievable.” You tongue at the inside of your cheek, rising to your feet and walking past her.
“Wait! Y/n-”
“Aw look at her throw a fit.” She laughed and you turn around immediately.
“You wanna say something say it right now.” You shove her and she looks offended.
“Don’t touch me you psycho!” She moves to push you back.
When she does you punch her right across the face, causing her to fall on the grass, clutching her nose.
“Y/n! What’s is wrong with you!” Soobin yells, rushing to Arin’s side. She whines and cries making you roll your eyes.
“Fuck you Soobin.” You stomp away from the both of them, clutching your now bruised hand. Your eyes watered as you left the park not looking back once.
Maybe you acted out a little but hey, she knew better than to fuck with the well known self proclaimed “delinquent” at school.
It had been a week since that incident happened and you haven’t talked to Soobin.
You understood he was allowed to have other friends yes, but you were beginning to see changes in him.
Those changes scared you so much, of course you weren’t against Soobin becoming more confident with himself and leaving his comfort zone.
However he was turning into another basic frat college boy, acting like he was the shit. Which had you beyond confused because this wasn’t him. It sucked even more to watch all this happen from the sidelines.
This time apart from him really made you realize just how much you loved him and how much you needed him in your life.
He’s always played a big role in it and for him to just be gone, with no explanation, no contact, it was killing you.
Part of you wanted to believe he wanted to talk to you but it was just his group of friends that were holding him back. Yet that same saying would ring out through your head.
If he wanted to, he would.
Getting around campus was always easy, no one ever talked to you because of your reputation and you grew accustomed to it.
Aside from Soobin, you didn’t have any friends and you weren’t in the mood to make any either. Your resting bitch face made you less approachable anyways.
Your perfect morning was interrupted by a person you weren’t happy to see at all.
“Oh sorry! I didn’t see where I was—Oh. It’s you.” Arin glares at you, a bandage on her nose.
You smirk at the sight. “Your nose healing fine?” You tilt your head in a taunt and she bites the inside of her cheek.
“You know you made my job way more easier.” She laughed and your brows furrow. “I’m surprised Soobin sticked with someone like you for so long, but now he’s finally seen what a terrible person you are.”
Your eyes flash with hurt and you’re quickly grabbing her by her collar, pulling her towards your face.
“You bitch.” As much as as you tried to sound mad, your voice wavered.
“Be careful now, you don’t wanna cause a scene do you.” She raised her brows in a amusement and click your tongue. Looking around some students had stopped, some just side eyeing the both of you.
You shoved her away from you, immediately going back to you dorm, I guess no morning classes today.
Throughout the whole day her voice rang throughout your mind, it was driving you crazy.
Did she like him that much she couldn’t stand you being around him? As much as you hated to admit it she was right, Soobin hadn’t talked to you so she basically won.
Pushing your feelings aside it hurt you that he didn’t reach out.
Was this really the end of you guys? You hadn’t even got to tell him you loved him. You made so many sacrifices to protect him.
He was your person, the only one that understood you. It honestly felt like you were going to die with out him. Maybe a little dramatic but he was the one who kept you grounded.
He knew how to calm you down, and deal with all of your temper tantrums. You wanted to tell him just how much he meant to you, but not in a platonic way. Because your feelings were everything but that.
That all seemed stupid now, all those stupid thoughts of you both actually being together down the drain as you plug your earbuds in and slip your shoes on.
So here you were roaming the city at night with your earbuds plugged in. However this didn’t really help forgetting much about Soobin when you guys would do this to.
Hell you were the one who took his pictures for his Instagram post. Every single thing reminded you of him and it frustrated you to no end.
Even the song you were listening to, Vaundy, one of his favorite artists. You groan, continuing to walk through streets.
Soobin’s laugh fills the table, as waiters and waitresses maneuver around the restaurant. Passing out food, passing out drinks or taking orders.
Soobin sits back with a smile on his face. His friends clicking their shot glasses with big smiles on their faces, another flipping the meat, making sure it was cooked perfectly.
Even though all of this goes on he feels sort of empty. He can’t really explain it but something was missing, someone was missing.
For so long he’d hoped and hoped he’d be able to make a lot of friends. Now that he finally had it, it’s like it didn’t match up to the hype.
Soobin felt like he couldn’t be himself around his friends. He felt like he always had to prove himself somehow. But with you, you truly knew him. And you loved him for just the way he was.
He looks down at his Home Screen, one of his widgets displaying a picture of you.
It was the night where you had both walked around. You both had a photo shoot at a small playground you both found.
You were in one of his hoodies that was way to big for you. You had the biggest smile on your face and he finds himself smiling just because of it.
He heard Arin laugh, “Isn’t that Y/n.” The rest of the group laughs, talking shit on you.
“She’s such a loner.” One of the guys laughs.
Soobin’s head whips up and there you are walking past the restaurant with that “intimidating” look on your face and your earbuds in.
His face immediately softens. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe the bit of alcohol in his system but he’s rushing outside, ignoring everyone’s calls for him.
When he exits the restaurant, you’re not to far from him. He almost falls when he begins running to you, he places a hand on your shoulder.
“Y/n-” He’s cut off with a punch to his stomach making him cough and clutch his stomach.
“Soobin?! Shit—I’m sorry are you okay?” You rip your earbuds out, rubbing his back soothingly. “You know you can’t sneak up on me like that.” You mumble and he nods.
Only then do you realize the situation, Soobin is talking to you, he’s actually talking to you. You step away immediately, glancing at the floor.
Soobin stares at you and he feels his eyes start to water. The next thing you know he’s crashing you in his arms. Your eyes widen when you’re met with his chest, his breaths ragged.
“M’sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whispers against your ear. You blink away your tears, an arm patting his back.
“Have you been drinking?” You question and he shakes his head, keeping it tucked away in the crook of your neck.
“Only a couple beers and like some soju.” He mumbles.
“You’re a lightweight Soobin.” You sigh.
It’s weird to have him this close to you again after so long. Even though you miss it, you can’t help the insecurities that wash over you.
Maybe his friends were right. You never deserved Soobin, it was your choice to protect him but he’s all grown up now, what else does he need you for. You were just some fuck up holding him back.
So you blink away your tears, leading him back to your dorm. When you arrived he sat on the couch, and you went in the kitchen to grab him some water. When you come back he’s drifting off, so you tap him.
“You can take my bed Soobin.”
“Soob.” He whispers, his eyes still closed.
“Hm?”
“It’s Soob.” He mumbles again.
You sigh, “Take my bed Soob.” And he smiles, he gets up and waddles to your bed.
You tuck him in and he’s out immediately. You’re crouched beside him, shallow breaths leave him and you move some of his bangs. Feeling tears prick at your eyes you let them fall.
“I’m sorry, I love you so much.” You cry, resting your head against his arm. You leave the room, letting Soobin rest as you take your spot on your couch.
Soobin wakes up with a raging headache and the scent of delicious food fills his senses. He smiles warmly, but then he jolts awake, looking around.
He takes in that he’s in your room and he blinks confusingly. He makes his way to the kitchen and he finds a very comfy you, dancing and singing with the spatula in your hand as you make eggs.
He doesn’t say anything, yet he just watches you, admiring and adoring you. Even though he’s confused on why he’s here, he’ll never get over you.
“S-Soobin.” You gasp, holding the spatula close to you.
“Why am I here?” His voice comes out harsher than he expects and you look down.
“Uh, you came to me yesterday and you were drunk, so I let you crash here.” You nod, turning back to the food. “You can stay for breakfast if you want but if you don’t then you can leave.”
He sits down on your bar stool, rubbing his palms on his pants. Even though he didn’t remember what happened yesterday, that feeling of longing for you was still there.
He hates that it seemed like you couldn’t be yourself around him since you guys hadn’t talked.
So he speaks, “I’m really sorry, Y/n.” You turn around to protest but he stops you. “No really, I’m a terrible friend for abandoning you for people who don’t even know me. And I’m sorry that this whole situation was what made me realize that I genuinely need you in my life.”
You blink at him, your heart stinging. “You have every right to be upset and I understand if you don’t want to forgive me.” Your eyes don’t lift from the floor yet Soobin is rushing to you when he hears your sniffles. “Hey, why are you crying?” He says worriedly holding your face softly.
“M’not good for you Soobin.” You shut your eyes, it hurt you so much to let the words come out. “Arin’s right. I’m such a fuck up and you’re so perfect, but I cling to you because I love you. I love you so much and it hurts. I don’t deserve you.” You sob, dropping your head once again and Soobin caresses your head, holding you against him once again.
“Y/n listen to me. None of my friends or Arin could ever change the way I see you. You deserve me just as much as I deserve you. I’m not perfect but us together? That’s perfect.” He rests his forehead against yours, “I’m always gonna love you, no matter what.” He smiles at your cute pout, tugging at your bottom lip. “No more crying please, I’m here and I’m not leaving.”
You look in his eyes and his flicker to your lips, not letting them avert anywhere else. “Can I kiss you?” He asks sincerely and you nod, letting his lips meet with yours.
He holds you so gently, you can tell he’s a little shaky but he kisses you with so much love. Before you know it, more tears are falling. He pulls away with a smile, continuing to wipe your tears.
"I thought I said no more crying?" He laughs and you pout. "I just missed you." You shove your face in his chest and he pecks your head.
Soobin holds you close to him, no longer feeling empty. For the rest of the day you spend it with each other.
No matter how much of a bad person you claimed to be, Soobin was a constant reminder that in all the bad, there is always good.
© 2023 aakomii — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING, SHARING MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS
hi !! Could i be tagged in the weekend event series please !! 🫶
- @mental-hollows
Hi hi!! Yes you can :D