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His shoulders will eventually put me in a coma but it’s okay

Xiao Lanhua and Liu Susu:

The "How I turned the stoned-cold war criminal into a malewife and saved everyone's ass" Girl squad

Spider Lilies and the Sun (Alec x Reader)

A Twilight fanfiction

Author's note: Check out my blog. I take requests <3

Carefully, you tried to draw the spider lilies that were lying on the wooden table in front of you. Your pencil drew a line here and there, deepening the shadows or adding a new leaf. It was difficult for you to capture the lightning appropriately on the thick parchment that you studied for a moment, drawing your head back to create some distance. To some extent you were satisfied with what you have produced so far. You have never been especially good at drawing, but somehow you have a hand for illustrating the beauty of flowers just enough to distinguish yourself from a beginner. But if you would ever reach the skills of a professional artist was hard to say… Only time could tell. 

While you drew, you listened to the conversation between Heidi, Chelsea, and Corin. The three vampires were sitting on the sofas that were situated in the middle of the drawing room of the Volturi’s castle. Soft sunlight shone through the windows, and you had opened one in the corner you had isolated yourself in. The temperate late summer breeze smelled wonderful, tickling your nostrils and helping you relax. 

“Have you heard that the coven in France tried to trick the Kings?” asked Heidi in her enticing voice, playing with her dark hair as her legs were swung over the armrest of the armchair that she was lounging in. Her short skirt had hiked up dangerously, but Heidi knew how to be classy without coming off as cheap. Her legs were pressed together, revealing nothing inappropriate. 

Chelsea nodded vigorously, not looking up from the book she was reading. “Of course, we have heard,” she remarked. Her tone was stoic and cold, but she didn’t mean it. You had learned that she was generally nice and didn’t have any mean intentions. But that was all. You would never expect a selfless act from her. Not from any of the vampires living in Volterra. “The French coven was the reason why Aro sent the twins, Demetri, and Felix to investigate. After all, the coven’s leader claimed that they have created a newborn with extraordinary abilities. The rumor spread like wildfire and eventually reached us, the Volturi. How could it not?”

Corin snorted and shook her head in disbelief. “Turned out the coven leader boasted a little too much.” 

“Right,” chimed in Heidi, chuckling. “Apparently, they wanted to bargain with the Kings and offer the newborn for a price. But said newborn didn’t possess any special abilities at all. When Demetri and Felix called to inform the Kings, they mentioned that Alec was absolutely livid.” With a knowing grin, she looked at you and caught your eye. Quickly you looked back down at your sheet, acting like that strange and yet familiar name hadn’t caught your attention. Heidi’s voice sounded insinuating when she added, “We all know that lately he has no room for unnecessary distractions that could lead him astray from the castle.” 

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you couldn’t say why. Only that Alec, even just the mention of his name, induced you with extreme nervousness. And a giddiness that you had tried to suppress by distracting yourself and drinking lots of water to drown the butterflies in your stomach. Alec. He was mesmerizing, absolutely enchanting. And also the reason why you, as a human, found yourself among vampire royalty. One day you decided to take a walk and breathe fresh air. While you were walking through the forest, looking defeated at your feet because the pressure that came with your studies really got to you that day, a pair of polished, expensive shoes came into view. Surprised, you looked up, staring into the beautiful red eyes of a young man who towered over you. Considering his insatiable stare, you probably should have been afraid, but you weren’t. There was something oddly calming about the way he gazed at you and how the wheels in his head seemed to turn before they finally clicked, and his hungry stare was replaced with a deep softness. Then, black mist enveloped you, and after many hours of traveling, you found yourself in Volterra. 

You had been living with the vampires for a little over three months and found it hard to adjust to your new life. You hadn’t been told why Alec brought you to Volterra, but the Kings had informed you that one day when the time was ripe, you would become one of them. You had no clue when the time would be ripe, but for now, that was unimportant. 

You were glad that everyone realized that you needed a lot of space and time alone. You had your own room and designated corners – like the one in the drawing room – that were solely reserved for you. Whenever you decided to take refuge in these places, everyone knew you wanted to be left alone. Fortunately, everyone was patient with you and answered your questions whenever you had any. The vampires learned to respect your boundaries, or rather, they had known how to do that all along since they were territorial beings. In turn, you learned to respect their limits and expectations. For example, you had to stay in your chamber when they fed in the throne room or when trials were being held. During these times, the vampires were especially busy, and no one could keep an eye on you to make sure you were not becoming a snack for the lower guard. 

As for Alec... you got along fine. There were moments when he seemed like he wanted to open up to you, but then he would withdraw suddenly, sitting down somewhere and watching you with a wistful expression while you read or drew. He kept you at arms-length: close enough but not too close. He didn’t want to give you away either. If anything, he was strangely possessive, and at the same time, aloof. He would be attentive one day, and the next he would pretend like you didn’t exist. It drove you insane. 

Well, at the beginning it did… After some frustrating nights, when you couldn’t sleep because of his behavior, you decided it was not worth spending the energy you needed on overthinking. You would just do you, stick to yourself, and be nice to Alec when he approached you. But you would refuse to seek him out. Your pride and self-respect put you first in this confusing connection with the vampire. You had never been in love, always waiting for the right one. Of course, you met men and thought that they might be your forever person only to end up disappointed because it turned out they were only being nice to you for sexual fun. Something you never gave them. Now, Alec was a classy guy. He was the type to court respectfully, and if he wanted some fun, he would be straightforward. Nonetheless, his intentions were anything but clear to you. So, you sought stability in yourself; if he had something to say, he could always do it, but you wouldn’t run after him.   

Honestly, you were glad when you heard that he would go on a mission to France. His name was playing on repeat in your head like a prayer whether he was present or not, and you did need some time to yourself to get that foolish heart of yours, which sometimes beat like you were love-struck, in check again. And so far, it had worked wondrously. In the past few days, you had barely thought about him at all. 

“So,” began Corin, resuming the conversation about the French coven, “what happened to the coven? Did Alec act on his anger? Lately, he has been inclined to do so. His emotions are running high. Higher than usual.”

Heidi giggled excitedly. “Well, luckily, Felix and Demetri could talk him out of it. The coven got away with a warning. The twins, the giant, and the tracker should return today.” 

Your throat constricted. You didn’t know if you really wanted to see Alec. Hopefully, he would just ignore you. But your hopes were crushed. Two hours later the door to the drawing room opened, and Alec came inside. The girls stopped talking abruptly, looking between you and the elite guard. Alec’s posture was imposing, and with one narrowed glance and a barely noticeable tilt of his head, he commanded them to leave. Sighing and voicing their discontent, Heidi, Corin, and Chelsea left. The thud of the door when it closed sounded too foreboding. You focused on your drawing - you had begun with another one, not quite satisfied with your first try.  

You hoped that Alec would just sit on the sofa, but unfortunately, he drew up a chair opposite you, and you focused on the movement of your pencil, not looking up. 

His voice was deep and warm when it rang out. “How have you been? Are you well?”

“I’m good,” you replied stubbornly, making it clear that you didn’t want to talk to him. But Alec did not defer. He picked up your first drawing. That was when you gazed up anxiously at him. You didn’t want him to see your art. Why? Because in a way, you depended on his validation. What if he didn’t think of your drawing as good enough? Then you would suck it up and live with it. You wouldn’t let it affect your motivation for your artistic nature though. 

The corners of Alec’s mouth were raised slightly when he saw your anxious expression, knowing he got to you. But if he hadn’t been sitting so close to you, you would have thought he was wearing his typical inscrutable expression. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs, holding your crafted spider lily up with one hand while he examined it, and gripping the armrest with his other hand. He wasn’t wearing gloves. That was unusual… The hand on the armrest glittered as it caught the sunlight. It was the only body part of his that was exposed to the sun. He didn’t like to shine in the sunlight. When you first saw how his skin reacted to the sun, he became angry. Not with you. But with the sun, you think. You were taking a stroll through the garden together, and when you reached up to touch his cheek as it began to glow, he pushed you away and told you to leave. That hurt. 

“Hmmm…” Alec hummed, nodding. “You are improving. You have a talent for drawing.” With care, he placed the paper down on the desk. 

Your body betrayed you when your heart rate picked up and your cheeks flushed pink. You were beyond happy. Somehow you managed to suppress the reply – “Do you really think so?” – that was beginning to form. You bit your tongue hard.

“How was France?” you asked instead. 

“I have been there many times. It was worthwhile. As always.”

“Good to hear.” 

“I would like to visit it with you someday. I have been there so often that it has become a little… boring and stale. But I feel like your presence would make the atmosphere special again.” 

Suspiciously, you narrowed your eyes. Here we go again with the ambiguous meanings… “What do you mean? Alec, sorry, but you have not been exactly welcoming towards me. One moment you are hot, and the other you are cold and don’t let me in. I still don’t know why you brought me to this shit hole in which I’m supposed to spend eternity. You owe me a lot of explanations.”

His eyes studied you. He contemplated long, his red orbs wandering down to your collarbone and noting how well your cropped cardigan and your high-waisted jeans fitted you. Your body was bliss to him. Your personality meant salvation. He had to come forward. He knew he was being unfair, and how could he be unjust to someone he loved? 

Without warning, he pushed back his chair, creating a scraping sound, and stood up. He walked towards you, grabbing the backrest of your stool and turning it around. You were now looking up at him, and your heart stuttered as he lowered his torso, placing his hands on the armrests, caging you. His brown, thick locks fell in front of his forehead, and his red orbs bored holes into the core of your soul. You nervously played with your hands in your lap, biting your lips. 

“Don’t do that,” he spoke softly, his breath fanning your face. 

“What?”

“Biting your lip. You always do it when you are nervous or stressed. You have been doing it while I was gone.” He used his thumb to smooth your lips. You swallowed hard at the skin contact. “I can see little wounds.” Was that why he decided to not wear gloves? Had he been planning to initiate physical contact?

You pushed his hand away. “What do you want?”

“Fine,” he grunted, straightening himself up. “I will be blunt about it.” 

“Naturally.” 

“You are my mate,” he admitted. Carefully, he studied your reserved features. But you felt anything but reserved. You were elated. Finally, you found the love you had always wished for. You had envied the connection Afton and Chelsea shared, how they gazed at each other with unprecedented adoration. Often, you had watched them interacting, wondering when you could not only be loved like Afton loved Chelsea but when you could finally look as ardently at someone the way Chelsea stared at Afton. You wanted to love, too. Not just be loved. What you and Alec could have… maybe that would rival their connection and put them to shame. 

“What do you think?” Alec asked, testing the waters. 

“Only that it all makes sense now. My palpitating heart when you are near or how I can’t get your name out of my head.” Contemplatively, you looked up at Alec. “That’s why you brought me to Volterra. When we met in the forest, you sensed that I was your mate.”

“I did.” 

You stood up, bringing your hands to his cheeks. He brought your foreheads together, and you enjoyed the coldness of his touch. On a warm summer day, there was no one you wanted to bury yourself in more passionately than Alec. 

“You fear this connection as much as I do,” you whispered. “That’s why you are sometimes so aloof. You are afraid of getting hurt. So am I. And honestly, in your presence, I find it hard to think straight. It is like my emotions don’t belong to me but to you.” 

“Yes. They spiral out of control, and only you, as my counterpart, can reach them. Tame them.” 

“Then I will cherish them and hold them close. You have nothing to fear, Alec.” 

Tentatively Alec closed the gap between the two of you, tasting your lips in a reassuring kiss. It seemed that you had nothing to fear either.  

Some thoughts about Qingcang and Xunfeng`s father and mather

I keep thinking about how much Xunfeng resembles their father/Old Moon Supreme. He is similar to him in character, and even a little outwardly. If Xunfeng was capable of mastering hellfire, then I think their father wouldn't have to eradicate Xunfeng`s feelings (torture him), because he's not as soft as DFQC [I don't remember it being mentioned anywhere that Yannu was devoid of feelings]. Xunfeng would have be as cold a "stone" as his father, ready to lock up his "weaknesses" for the sake of Moon tribe without entering a cave. And we see how much he copies his father when he is ready to sacrifice the happiness and "life" of his beloved older brother for the sake of duty.

DFQC on the contrary, he does not look like his father either externally or internally. He is very soft, sensitive, pithy, and we know what kind of love he is capable of. The conclusion suggests itself that he inherited his appearance and character from their mother. Although we don't know anything about her, but looking at Dongfang Qingcang's beauty, kindness, and creative data, we can imagine what kind of person she was. And Old Moon Supreme must have loved her very much. DFQC was probably his most beloved son, not only because he was the firstborn, but he definitely reminded him of her the most.

And this also explains why the Dongfang`s brathers act and feel so differently. Xunfeng is a bit of a destroyer. DFQC - 100% creator.

AITA for getting upset my girlfriend didn’t like the house I built for her

I (30,000+ M) made my girlfriend (1,500+ F) an exact replica of her home because I knew she was homesick and she didn’t even appreciate it? I lovingly handcrafted everything single piece to look like her old home but she got so upset at me when I showed it to her?? She says she’s been “kidnapped” by me and wants to go home but she was definitely gonna go to the fairy guillotine if I hadn’t taken her away and the fairy realm sucks shit so I don’t know what she’s missing about it. I can protect her better than any of those losers in shuiyuntian so she’d never get hurt, I don’t know why she’s so upset?!

tldr: am I the asshole for getting upset my girlfriend didn’t like the exact replica of her home I built after taking her away to my kingdom for her safety?

a moodboard

this better do numbers bc I made myself holler with it

local man sees nothing wrong with confessing his undying love via promising to invade and conquer his crush’s hometown so she can go home, and laying the bones of those who have wronged her at her feet so she can enjoy the sunrise from the best spot in town

more to follow at seven

Keep reading

She’s a 7 but she simps for violent fictional men on the internet

Im sorry, but the look of outright offense written on Demetri's face-

Its the "you little bitch" look for me 🤭😂

the Elio Perlman guide to summer dressin’

call me by your name (2017) dir. luca guadagnino

don’t watch it, if you want to live

credit to @honeydippedjeon (on insta)

Why Xiaofeng fell for Gu Xiaowu so quick and completely

-GXW wasn’t afraid to love her, unlike her teacher, Gu Jian

-He promised her adventure. To take her to see different lands. Again, this was something that Gu Jian was unwilling to do. She kept asking him to take her away, but he always refused. 

-GXW had no political affiliations (or so she thought). He was just a tea seller. Uncomplicated. 

-Xiaofeng doesn’t have many friends, let alone friends who are as (seemingly impulsive) as she is. We see that she mostly spends time with GJ and her maid/BFF, Ah Du. But both of whom are more like protectors and guardians than friends who are willing to playfully bicker with her. GXW seems to be the first friend she makes who doesn’t have any responsibility over her, and that in itself is a form of freedom for XF. 

-GXW is a romantic, as seen with the whole catch-a-hundred-fireflies scene. GJ is caring, but not romantic or flirty. GXW seems to wear his heart on his sleeve like her.

-GXW willing to fight for her (though not when it matters the most apparently)

-GXW tells her stories about his past and his mother, even though he didn’t outright say that the boy was him. But he’s patient with her. He teaches her about what wedding ceremonies are like in the Li kingdom. He explains what courtship in the Li kingdom is like.

-GXW is curious about her culture (despite being hellbent on destroying it). He asks her about Western Liang rituals, songs, and dances. He dresses in their clothes. He’s open-minded. 

It’s easy to see why XF fell in love with GXW so intensely despite only knowing him for less than a month. 

My question, though, is why she fell in love with Li Chengyin when he was nothing like GXW. It was like he was 2 different people. The complete opposite.

-Until ep 45, he was so afraid to show that he loved her that he made her believe he loved someone else. He convinced himself that hurting her was the best way to protect her.

-He never took her anywhere. Most of her trips outside the palace walls where with her other friends. He always insisted that she be dragged back. What happened to the man who once stood on the deserts of Dan Chi and told GJ that XF wasn’t an object to be tossed around?

-He was never romantic because he was always insulting her and yelling at her to keep up appearances. 

-He never opens up about his past or gives her a straightforward explanation for his actions.

-Not once did he ask her about her culture or what home was like, and nor did he take the initiative to ease her homesickness until GJ prompted him. Instead, he kept calling her feral and uncivilized. When she sang the only song she knew, which was a song from Western Liang, he demanded that she sing another one.

It’s just hard for me to understand how she fell in love with someone so abusive and toxic. Maybe because he was abusive, she hung onto the brief moments when she thought he didn’t hate him. A part of her wanted to believe what everyone around her saying that he truly does care for her, but he just didn’t know how to express it. Maybe it was because she didn’t have a choice as the wife of the crown prince, so she had to learn to love him during those brief moments. 

Maybe it was as easy as her and Li Chengyin solving a case together, and him giving her a geometric puzzle, the only meaningful gift she’s ever gotten in the palace, in order to make her believe that he has some respect for her intelligence.

Maybe, similar to when LCY tells her that if he can’t have her love then he’d rather have her hate than her indifference, XF would rather be despised by LCY than to have GJ’s unconditional love. XF is tired of being sheltered. I think she enjoyed the challenge of escaping the palace walls every other night, and her hot and cold relationship with LCY excited her. But as the audience, we know that this kind of life and love isn’t sustainable for XF. As much as I dislike GJ, I agree with him that life in the palace wouldn’t be a happy one for XF.

If XF still lived, I can’t say whether I’d think LCY would agree to leave his position and power for her. Even with GXW’s memories back, and him remaining alone and having never taken another wife for the rest of his life, I still doubt it. I don’t doubt that he’d die for her/with her, but I do doubt whether he’d sacrifice for her. Dying is easy. Choosing what you can live with and what you can’t live without is hard. 

I really like this paragraph from a review by liteulkwin on Mydramalist:

“She defies norms in costume/historical dramas wherein she IS the politically-favored wife, she doesn’t have to fight her way to the top of the harem, she has almost no trouble getting along with anyone in the palace, yet she’s put in this lonely predicament because of the narrative Li Chengyin fabricates in his best attempt to protect her. He tries so hard to protect her from everyone that he forgets to protect her from himself. The thing is— she doesn’t need to be sheltered; she’s brave, upstanding and receptive. His attempts to preserve her innocent spirit pushes them further away from each other.”

Despite all of my qualms about the plot progression from episodes 25-45, I think that this is how you do a star-crossed love story. The characters are not just products of their time and circumstance, but their downfall is caused by their own actions and decisions. They sabotage their own relationship.

There were never any external obstacles between XF and LCY. Everything and everyone was pushing them to be together, but they resisted and pushed back in the opposite direction, introducing their own obstacles. The monk told them to follow fate’s natural course, but they instead overturned it. XF ran away because she didn’t want to be given away in a loveless political marriage. She instead ran into the arms of GXW. GXW decimated XF’s grandfather’s clan, while LCY introduced SeSe into their relationship, and XF couldn’t bring herself to tell LCY the truth about his memory. She’d punish him by hating him without ever explaining why, which I guess is fair. They always had a reason for why they did what they did, but every choice they made drove them further apart. 

There was too much blood and too many bodies between them for them to be together. 

东宫 CH42

A large number of the Yu Lin army have already started to charge towards me, i turned to face the gateway, rushed forth and ran straight up the city gate tower. I leaned over the city wall battlements from above, and stooped down to see A'Du who was still there by herself thumping at the city gate with her fists, that grand and well fortified gate, just relying on her own strength, how could she possibly push it open ? I saw her grimacing and silently weeping, He Shi suddenly came to mind, he had entrusted me to A'Du, and how was it not that he entrusted A'Du to me. If it weren’t for me, A'Du might not of survived, just like how if it wasn’t for A'Du, i wouldn’t of survived either.

The massacre of Tu Jue must of made A’Du feel a thousand, ten thousand times more lonely and aggrieved than me. 200,000 of her tribesmen died at the combined strength of Yue Zhi and the Central Plains army. Despite the deep hatred from that sea of blood that had been spilled, but for my sake she accompanied me in the Central Plains for 3 years. Now that things have reached this stage, she is the only one i felt apologetic to. The Yu Lin army had now already reached the bottom of the gates pass, a numerous amount of people escorted Li Cheng Yin as he dismounted from his horse and from behind i could hear a mass of footsteps, they have ascended up the gate. However i had no fear, calmly standing in my place.

Li Cheng Yin’s neck was still bandaged with a white gauze. If my blade had cut even a little bit deeper, perhaps he wouldn’t of been able to stand here. He faced me and walked towards me alone. However, every time he took a step forth, i took a step back. I kept on retreating my steps until couldn’t retreat any more and reached the edge of the battlements. The westerly winds blew my sleeves upwards, producing a whistling sound, just like the day i was standing on the summit above the River of Forgetfulness. Right below my feet appeared to be a bottomless abyss of interweaving clouds and mist. Li Cheng Yin was observing me with a deep and profound gaze, he finally spoke : “ Don’t tell me you really are that unwilling to be my wife ? ” I smiled at him but did not answer. He asked me : “ That Gu Xiao Wu, what makes him so special ? ” The heels of my feet were already suspended in mid-air, only the tips of my feet were standing on top of the battlements above, teetering back and forth. The Yu Lin army had already retreated far away, silently and attentively watching me. Yet the gaze from Li Cheng Yin, held an anguish so tangled and complicated, as if he was silently enduring, as if he was miserable. I felt as if i had a dream, where everything was the same as 3 years ago, and for the past 3 years, life was just a vain illusion, but after all, nothing had changed. I said : “ What made Gu Xiao Wu special, ill never tell you ” Li Cheng Yin suddenly cracked a smile : “ It’s a pity hes already dead. ” Yes, its a pity hes already dead. He tried reasoning with me : “ Return with me, we can turn over a new leaf, i will still treat you well. Regardless of whether you still have that Gu Xiao Wu in your mind, as long as you’re willing to return with me, i will never mention this matter again. ” I gave him a smile and said : “ As long as you promise me one thing, i will wholeheartedly return with you. ” His face held no expression and only asked : “ What thing ? ” I said : “ I want you to catch 100 fireflies for me. ” He slightly staggered, he looked at me seemingly utterly perplexed. My line of sight gradually started to get misty, yet my smile remained : “ The River of Forgetfulness, where love can be forgotten…. the divine water from the River of Forgetfulness allowed me to forget for 3 years, however, it failed to allow me to forget for a lifetime.”

Tears trickled down my cheek, i smiled and said to him: “ To be someone like you who has forgotten it all, how great would that be. ” He dazedly stared at me, as if he couldnt comprehend what i was saying, i was also unaware of my current expression, i was certain i was smiling at him, however i couldnt help but cry at the same time. I said : “This time, i must truly forget you.” I turned around, like a bird about to fly towards the sky, like a butterfly about to flutter towards a flower, i was determined to leap without hesitation. I knew without a doubt that there was no River of Forgetfulness here. That right below was a myriad of piercing-sharp rocks and as soon as one jumps, only a gruesome death awaits. I heard a number of people crying out in fear, in a moment of desperation Li Cheng Yin scrambled to grab his belt and wrapped it around my hand. All that was happening felt like a reenactment of exactly what took place 3 years ago. Suspended in mid-air my entire body became rigid as he held onto me, he was hanging from the edge of the battlements due to the inertia from my plunging body. With one hand he held onto the battlements, and with the other he leaned over holding onto me. Due to the physical restraint the veins on his hands violently bulged and the wound on his neck started to seep out blood, the wound has probably split opened, but instead of letting go, he loudly roared : “ Guards ! ” I knew that if the Yu Lin army rushed here to help him, i would have lost all chances. I raised my hand, a cold light flashed past his eyes, he cried out : “ No ! ” I severed his belt, that thin silk cloth ripped apart in the air, i poured all my remaining strength into giving him one last smile : “ I’m going to forget you, Gu Xiao Wu. ” I saw the startled expression in his eyes, and the blood from his neck slowly flowed out, as if his entire body was suddenly inflicted with serious damage, he even slightly stumbled backwards looking upwards towards the sky. I saw the blood burst and splash forth from his wound, falling upon my face. I held onto my smile and watched him, he seemed to want to grab onto me in vain, but he missed by the smallest margin and his fingertips could only catch air, his mournful cry echoed within my ears : “ Its me…. Xiao Feng…. I’m Gu Xiao Wu…. ” I knew he finally remembered, and so this will be my greatest revenge against him. The massacre that he commanded over 3 years ago, was what completely obstructed our affections for each other ; and now 3 years later ill use this to cut off everything between us. I saw his clothes fluttering out, perhaps just like 3 years ago he’ll follow me and leap down, but this isnt the River of Forgetfulness, to fall is to die a bloody gruesome death. I saw Pei Zhao grabbing onto him, i saw him turn his hand and hit Pei Zhao in the chest, undoubtedly he used all his strength, i saw that the attack to his chest caused Pei Zhao to throw up blood, but Pei Zhao did not let go and even more people started to rush forwards, firmly hindering him.

The was sky so blue…. the sound of the wind created a “huhu” sound past my ears, everything before my eyes gradually started to blur. It appeared as if i could see myself sitting on top of a sandy dune, watching the slow setting sun, along with my heart gradually descending, until the very end, until the sun had eventually vanished and was obstructed by a far away sandy dune, never to be seen again. The heaven and earth was heavily surrounded upon by the darkness of the night, even the last of the light was not to be seen.

It appeared as if i could see a circle of people watching and laughing. The majority of people from Tu Jue did not seem to believe that the white-eyed wolf king was really slayed by Gu Xiao Wu, so they continued to hold a thread of contempt. Gu Xiao Wu clasped at the bow, as if he were to play the zither, he used his finger to pluck at the bowstring. The bowstring made a clanging sound, the circle of people laughed even louder, yet among the roaring laughter he aligned his arrows, shooting down 100 bats.

It appeared as if i could see a myriad of fireflies flitting towards the sky, like millions of shooting stars flying across from the tips of our fingers, when the gods release their shooting stars, perhaps it would look just like this. Thousands upon thousands of fireflies encircling us, gracefully flying by, luminous lights scattering in all directions, like the golden rays from shooting stars that streak across the night sky. I think of the poem in the song, the god and the lover he longs for, standing in the river of stars, just like this so wondrous and dazzling.

It appeared as if i could see myself standing above the River of Forgetfulness, the heel of my feet already suspended in mid-air, the wind from under the cliff blew me unsteady, i swayed as if at any moment i could fall, the wind blew my garments it producing a loud whistling sound, my sleeves as if a thin blade unceasingly lashing at my arms. Now he didnt dare to step forward and coerce me, i say to him : “ I misjudged you, and now my home and people are in ruins, to suffer this ordeal is the punishment sent from the gods. Enunciating each word distinctly, i say : ” For all eternity, i shall entirely forget you forever ! “

It appeared as if i could see the evening of our great wedding, he lifted up my veil. When the veil uplifted, everything before my eyes was bright, brightly lit candles surrounded me, illuminating his face, and his entire body. He wore a black robe, exquisite designs were embroidered on top. Several months before, under the supervision of Yong Niang, from the book 《Rituals & Etiquettes》 i had to memorize it to heart, i knew that that was a black attire, crimson garments, ninth chapter. Five chapters on attire, dragon、mountain、flower insect、fire、ceremonial goblets ; four chapters on garments, seaweed、rice、axe、bows. This was weaved into it. The single patch of white silk, axe on the collar、 jade cuffs、lapel. Leather belt, bright gold strokes, great apparel, silk belt nor vermilion lining, sets of concise knots. Bow on the lower garment、fire、mountain. He wore the ceremonial imperial crown, nine tassles with various beads, appearance as his silk cord, green-black silk around his ears, guided by a sharp hairpin, a grand bearing.

At that time, i thought that that was our first meeting. What i didnt know was that we had already met, under the moonlight in the vast Western Liang. The last thing that came to mind was the precise moment i severed the belt, his eyes that were full of glistening tears. But its too late now, we conflicted for three years, however we still fell in love with one another. This is the punishment the gods have bestowed on us. Those who have drunk from the River of Forgetfulness, shall eternally part and shall never remember one another. Whilst rapidly falling I serenely closed my eyes, waiting for my body and bones to be crushed. The pressure from the fall eventually ceased, the sharp pain i imagined still never arrived. I opened my eyes, A'Du’s cold arm was wrapped around me, even though she tried to use her strength to jump up, but no one on this earth could withstand the immense force from such a fall, i could practically hear the sound of her bones disintegrating, she had forcibly used her own body as a safety pad and cushioned my body from smashing on to the ground. I saw the blood from her ears、 from her nose、and from her eyes all flowing out, i loudly cried out : ” A'Du ! “ I had twinges of pain coming from both my legs, i had no way of standing up, i heavily struggled to get up, bewilderedly i wanted to embrace her, but it seemed that even the slightest touch would bring forth acute pain, her expression showed agony, but her jet-black eyes gazed at me, her glance was just as poised as in the past, and didnt hold the slightest intention of blame. She looked at me as if i had merely done something naughty, or perhaps like in the past, when ever i wanted to slip away and take her out to roam the streets. I embraced her, muttering her name.

I clearly knew i had long lost the chance to return to Western Liang, i merely wanted her to leave first, but i failed her, because i clearly knew she would not cast me away to live upon this lonely world alone.

As well as how I could not bear to cast her away to live upon this lonely world alone. A'Du had already closed her eyes, no matter how much i cry out for her, she wouldn’t even know. I heard the sound of the city gate squeaking open, an imposing amount of soldiers advanced towards us, i knew that everyone still had thoughts of pulling me back to that insufferable world, to bring me back to that cold and grim Eastern Palace. But now i no longer want to suffer that type of misery anymore. I said to A'Du  : ” Let’s go back to Western Liang together. “ I lightly picked up A'Du’s golden knife, a moment ago A'Du had used it to cut down a large amount of iron bolts so the blades surface had ruptured and many small fine nicks appeared. In an instance i deeply stabbed the knife into my own chest, and yet i felt no pain. Perhaps ive already experienced all the sufferings of this world, so how could death even compare ? Blood gurgled out, i held onto A'Du’s hand with both of my blood-stained hands, slowly I leaned over and fell by her side. Now, we can finally return home. I could feel my temperature and consciousness all gradually parting from me, and darkness gradually enshrouded me. It seemed as if i could see Gu Xiao Wu, sitting tall he urged his horse forward rushing towards me, i knew he had not died, but he had merely gone to catch 100 fireflies for me. Now I want him to fasten his belt on me, by doing so he will forever stay by my side. With a slight meaningful smile, i swallowed my final breath. A vast and desolate land, a song speaks out : "A single fox sitting on top of a sandy hill, sitting on top of a sandy hill, gazing at the moon. Alas, it turns out it was not gazing at the moon, it was actually waiting for the girl who herds sheep…. A single fox sitting on top of a sandy hill, sitting on top of a sandy hill, basking in the sun…. Alas…. It turns out it was not basking in the sun, it was actually waiting for the girl riding her horse to pass by…” Turns out that fox was unable to wait for girl whom it wanted to wait for all along.

《Eastern Palace》 End

His omega.

Disclaimer: this story was inspired by @jawllines story (go read hers if you haven't it's much better). Also, I don't know a lot about A/B/O dynamic fics so I added my own twist to it, please don't come after me.

Y/n was a beta, her dad, mum and two older brothers were also betas, all her family was. They lived in a beta neighborhood where everyone was the same. She was alright with it, at first, until she moved out and went to college, where there were Omegas and Alphas, people y/n never got to meet all her life, well, until she turned 20.

But living amongst them wasn't so bad, she got used to everyone by the end of her first year, made a lot of friends, although none of them were like her, they still accepted her as part of their group. Except one…

Harry Styles.

Harry was an alpha who never liked y/n, even three years later, he still held deep hatred towards her, would glare or roll his eyes whenever he saw her and even though it hurt sometimes, she learned to brush him off whenever their group of friends hung out, pretending that he didn't exist. And she believes he did the same since there was never an interaction between the two.

But it all changed at one point. 

Louis invited them all over for a movie night that included fast food and drinks. Of course, everyone jumped to the chance, wearing their comfiest clothes, not caring about trying their best since they were all used to each other and they know no one gives a shit about the others' looks. 

They were in the middle of watching "scream" when it happened. 

When Harry wants something, he gets it by using his alpha voice, it works every time on everyone.  Y/n never got to experience it though since he didn't want to use it around her to "not give her the pleasure of hearing it". But at that moment he totally forgot she was sitting in one of the love seats to his right next to Liam (he was an omega, a very delicate omega with hard muscles), who he used the voice on.

"Liam can you be a sweetheart and get me a water bottle? Thank you, love"

Something stirred inside y/n. Her eyes widened and she squeezed her stomach with her arms in an attempt to stop the tingling sensation. She started getting dizzy too and her head felt heavy so she laid it down against the chair. What was going on? She never felt like this before.

"Y/n, are you alright there? You're curling up on yourself" She was pulled out of whatever she was in by the voice of Julia, one of the laphas of the group, she always gets protective over anyone she was friends with which made her the sweetest of them all.

"Wha- oh, yeah. I'm fine, just got a bit dizzy"

She tried brushing off whatever was going on inside her body, but she couldn't, it took over her limbs, her brain, everything. She couldn't concentrate on the movie anymore, she even nearly forgot where she was if it wasn't for Julia calling her name for the second time.

"You're curling up again, are you sure you're okay?"

Y/n decided it was best if she went home. That way, she can relax in her bed without worrying about embarrassing herself in front of her friends.  She brushed off Liam's offer on driving her home and told him she was okay with going by herself, but she wished she let him do it after nearly getting in a car accident twice.

The next day, though, she was just fine. It was hard for her to fall asleep, but she managed after two hours of rolling in bed and whining. She thanked the heavens when she opened her eyes and all the symptoms from the night before were gone.

Her week went well, better than usual actually. She aced the two exams she had Monday and Thursday, she avoided eating all the unhealthy food she was addicted to, Harry didn't glare at her once when they were together with their friends which felt very nice! So by the time Friday rolled around, y/n was ready to celebrate her successful week.

Harry threw a party again, he was always the once to organize the parties since he had the biggest apartment out of all of them, and he had to invite y/n everytime since he would come out as a jerk if he sent a message to their iMessage group along the line of "everyone but y/n are invited to my party this Friday". So she happily got out of bed and got ready, put on a cute little outfit, some makeup and curled her hair to perfection.

Y/n started feeling off when she got to his house, she blamed it on her anxiety since she was an anti-social butterfly and hated big crowds - which is exactly what the apartment was filled with. So to get her mind off of whatever was going on in her head, she drank three shots with Liam.

She decided she was drunk after she started looking for Harry even though she didn't feel that usual buzz she gets after she goes heavy on alcohol, but the unusual feeling of wanting to be around him was enough confirmation that she was indeed drunk because there's no way in hell she wanted Harry.

__________

A strong familiar smell tickled Harry's nose. What the hell? Who decided to come to a party full of alphas on their heat? He turned to Liam, asking him if his was around the corner (he starts to smell three weeks before his heat) but when he told him that he got done with one just the week before, Harry started to get confused.

 He sniffed the air again. Shit, they were close, way too close since he was sitting with a group of male alphas, and male alphas were known for being too rough on anyone, and omegas - especially in their heat - were delicate little things that just want someone to fulfill their needs and care for them afterwards, so this person was probably not safe. A smirk grew on the faces of his alpha friends when they too started sniffing the air. Scratch what he first said, this person is definitely not safe, and he needed to get them out of there as soon as possible.

His eyes widened when he heard a yell of his name coming from a voice that he was familiar with but also not because he never heard it say his name.

Y/n

"Here you are, I was looking for you. 'scuse me," she wiggled her way towards him and grinned widely when she stood in front of him. He nearly yelped like a little girl when she sat her bottom on his lap, too close to his crotch and he fought the urge to grind on her "You're supposed to hate her, Harry. Don't try shit you'll regret later." He warned himself.

"oh, you smell so nice. How come I never noticed it before? Did you mask it away from me because you hate me ?" She nuzzled her nose in his neck and sighed, finding her happy place. He smelled so mouthwatering and she just wanted to take a bite of his skin, so she did, she bit gently on his neck not to hurt him. His eyes widened even more if that was even possible. What the hell was going on with her? Why was she smelling like that? Why was she biting and smelling him like a needy pup?

He looked around the room for any of their friends and noticed Emily and Liam chatting up together so he called for them. They were confused at first on why he had a girl sitting on his lap so publicly, until they noticed who it actually was and hurried towards him.

"What in the hell is she doing? And why is she smelling like that ?" Emily was the first to ask him. Harry shrugged and told them what happened, "maybe she's just drunk"

"no way, she only had three shots with me and she doesn't get drunk so easily"

Realisation hit Liam like a truck. He asked y/n to stand up, which was difficult when all she wanted was to be with Harry, but eventually she did with a huff and told them to hurry. And there it was, a very noticeable wet spot on the back of her skirt.

"Harry, I think she's presenting..." he gulped, "for you"

__________

"I mean, it's a bit weird, innit? Cases like hers don't happen often, especially in our town. Maybe we're wrong, maybe she's going through something betas go through that we didn't know about and she's not presenting for Harry. Are we even sure she wants him exactly?"

Liam rolled his eyes at Mathew - a fellow omega and one of his friends - as he leaned beside Harry's bedroom door "all she wants is to be near Harry and her clothes are drenched, and let's not start on how much she smells like an omega in heat, pretty sure she's presenting for him. So, are you just going to let her be alone in your room sniffing your blankets until the painful part begins or are you going to help her out?" He turned to Harry when he said the last part with his eyebrows raised, he was obviously starting to get angry and impatient with him, but the alpha just sighed. What was he supposed to do? The only way he can help her is by having sex with her and there's no way in hell he would do that. She already ruined his night when he had to stop his party and literally kick everyone out.

"I'm not having sex with her, Liam. Get Julia or Niall to do it instead"

"um, pretty sure she isn't sniffing either of us at the moment, Har." Niall replied, making Harry glare at him. He still didn't want to budge.

The doorbell rang and he sighed in relief. The doctor arrived, finally someone with actual knowledge of what was going on. They were quick to show her where y/n was while explaining the situation at hand, finding the girl on her back with her knees tucked up to her chest as she nibbled at Harry's white button up shirt like a small pup.

"I smell him! Harry's here! Oh, Harry. Come cuddle me, need you"

Harry hesitated, he didn't want to be in the same room as her, let alone having to touch her and be closer to her, but the doctor instructed him to do so, so he took off his shoes and sat on the bed, immediately getting jumped on by y/n who sighed when she finally settled on his lap and had her arms around his neck. His arm wrapped around her waist, it was just a reflex, and god did it make him mad.

"y/n, may I ask you a couple of questions, please ?" The doctor sweetly asked. Y/n nodded and laid her head on Harry's shoulder, he tensed for a second but relaxed when he saw Liam glaring at him from across the room.

"Have you experienced any kind of dizziness or tingling sensation in your tummy lately ?"

She immediately nodded "last week when me and my friends were hanging out, my tummy started tingling that I had to go home and sleep it off"

"can you tell me what happened before you got the tingling sensation?"

It was hard for y/n to think at the moment because all that was running in her mind was Harry, Harry, Harry, but she managed to dig inside her brain and remember what happened that night.

"well, Niall laughed very hard and loud over that one scene in the movie to the point he farted" y/n giggled such a childish giggle it had everyone smiling, even Harry "and then Harry asked Liam to get him a cup of water and that's when everything started"

Liam's eyes widened. It instantly clicked in his head what was happening with her.

"Harry used his alpha voice, and y/n isn't used to it"

The doctor made an "aaah" noise and smiled while writing down on her notebook. Harry looked over at everyone confused, but they also had no idea what the hell Liam was talking about.

"so basically, y/n is not 100% a beta. If her family is all betas then I think it might be a great grandparent? We will have to run some tests to see if my theory is true but I am sure that she is not a full beta, which means she has a little bit of omega in her. So if I'm not mistaken, she had been living with betas up until she started college?" She turned to Liam who nodded and told her it was exactly three years ago "so she had never been near an alpha before let alone one like you, Harry -" the Styles were well known for having the strongest alphas, and Harry was lucky enough to inherit it from his dad "- so when she heard you use your alpha voice, it activated that tiny percentage of omega she has and she started presenting, and since it was your voice, you are the one she's presenting for, which makes you guys mates" A series of no's ran through Harry's head. There is no way y/n was his mate, they hate each other! How are they supposed to spend every single day together for the rest of their lives!? Besides, she cannot be his mate, he never bit and bonded with her. There is no way she was, he didn't want to accept that.

"but we never bonded! I never bit her! Hell, I never talked to her until now !"

"you're bonded on a spiritual level, if you will. Which reminds me, once the painful part of the heat starts, you need to bite her right when you knot her, it will help both of you because just like it's affecting her, it would affect you too soon, Harry" the doctor explained to the wide eyed alpha.

"b-but we hate each other! She hates me! We can't be mates, it's impossible!"

"Actually, I never hated you" y/n's voice spoke after a long while and all the attention turned to her. Her eyes were so big and doe-like Harry was taken back for a second when he looked down at her "you glared at me when Liam introduced us and I didn't like it so I pretended to hate you back" she pouted her lips and looked down, mumbling her last words "I always wanted us to be friends, but I was a beta and I know that's why you didn't like me"

Harry was stunned, to say the least. He didn't know that at all (obviously), he just thought since she came from the town where only betas live she would not like him and so he decided to dislike her first, but somehow that "dislike" turned to hate, if you would ask him why he would say he had no idea.

"Well, you lot need to work on your emotions because y/n has been alone for too long and Mr. Styles here need to make up for it all. So I suggest you stay alone together and bond emotionally before you bond physically. When you get there, though, you need to be gentle with her as much as possible, Harry. She isn't used to all of this and all she can think about is you only so one wrong move from you and you will literally break her. Also make sure you both stay hydrated and eat well so you wouldn't get sick afterwards"

The doctor left after warning them one last time, specifically Harry. Once she was out the door though, he ripped himself from y/n which resulted in her pouting and making grabby hands at him but he didn't look back and walked out of his room

 "What the hell are you doing here !? Why aren't you in bed with y/n !?"

He glared at Liam while putting on his shoes "I'm not going back in there, go get Niall to fuck her or something. I don't want anything to do with her" and with that, he slammed his front door behind him. He didn't care that it was ten at night, he just wanted to escape and get as far away from her as possible.

_________

Harry didn't know what the fuck was wrong with him.

He would walk kilometres and not get tired. He would go all day long without eating breakfast and lunch and be perfectly fine. So he started getting concerned when an hour into his walk he started panting and feeling tired like never before. He pushed it away though and continued walking, anything to stay away from his apartment and y/n, even if all he wanted was to slip under his covers and sleep for maybe three days straight.

He gave up an hour later and decided to go home and sleep in Niall's bedroom (they were flatmates) instead of his since it was occupied.

What he didn't expect is to come back to loud cries, very loud cries. Y/n could be heard from the front door. She was sobbing her little heart out and as much as it hurt him to say this, he did get a little worried, so he climbed the stairs two at a time and opened his bedroom door.

Liam held a crying y/n in his arms while Niall rubbed her back to help her calm down. She was hiccuping and trying her best to breath and the sight of her looking so vulnerable broke Harry's heart. She didn't even notice he was there when he asked what was wrong and that might've hurt him a little bit.

"she heard you talking to Liam before you left, poor thing has been crying ever since, and I also think the pain is slowly starting too" Niall informed him while Liam sent him a glare - it seemed like it was the only expression he could show him ever since the night began.

Harry didn't hesitate this time when he sat next to y/n and gently took her in his arms. She was too weak to fight him so he gently tucked her head in the crook of his neck where he knows he smells the strongest. He started rocking them side to side slowly until her cries lessened and she was able to breathe him in again, "it's okay, you're okay. I'm here, l'm not leaving" he kept whispering in her ear until he felt her relax against him.

He stayed that way, swaying them and letting her smell him so she could relax, he took that as an opportunity to sniff her as well, letting the delicious smell that is her calm him down as well from his walk. He forgot all about the other two guys until he heard Niall laugh. "she fell asleep, mate. Looks mighty adorable"

As polite as possible, he asked his two friends if they could leave the room, and they obviously did in a split second but not before giving y/n's forehead a kiss and asking Harry to take care of her, which he promised he would.

As if he was handling a baby, he laid her down on the soft sheets on his bed before running to his closet and changing into a pair of sweatpants, ditching his shirt because he knew he would get hot with the extra body next to him. He slipped next to her in bed and covered them with the covers which now smelled a mixture of both of them and let her cuddle him however she wanted. Once she snuggled her head well into his chest, Harry closed his eyes and let his legs tangle with hers. He laid his hand flat on her back and let sleep take over him as well.

But it didn't last very long because a couple of hours later he was woken up by y/n humping leg and whining in his ear. He sighed and shushed her to calm down. He prepared himself metally before he took both their clothes off and got to work.

It was a very intimate moment, but not as he dreamt it would be. He always thought it would be romantic, he would play with his mate and have them shaking underneath him and then whisper in their ear how much he loved them before biting them and locking them together with his knot. But in his reality though, y/n was shaking underneath him - and that was the only thing that went as planned - but instead of him feeling love for her, he felt regret. He didn't want to do it, he didn't want to bond with her, but he had to, for his sake.

When they were done and he pulled out of her, he helped her clean up with the baby wipes that were on his nightstand table and gave her the cookies and juice bottle that were left there too (he thinks Liam put them there when they were asleep).

Anyone with eyes could see that Harry was uncomfortable, so when y/n looked up at him and saw that he had his head in his hands while sighing, she knew that the feelings were not mutual, that he didn't like what they just did and that he was regretting it. They were mates, she knew every little detail about what he was feeling and saying she was hurt was an understatement.

"I-I know a witch -" he looked up at the sound of her voice "- I think she knows how to break bonds or summat. I can ask her to do it for us, and then we can get back to pretending like we don't know each other"

 "Why are you saying this ?" Harry asked with a low voice, she shrugged and looked down at the half bitten cookie in her hand "you just- I know you hate me and now you're stuck with me for god knows how long. I just thought it's a great idea..."

He thought about it for a second. She was right, he didn't want to be anywhere near her. If the bond is broken, he can get back to his care free life again and never look back at that day again. So he nodded his head and told her that it was a great idea. She felt broken when she saw him agree with her, but she didn't dare to show it. She just asked him to pass her her phone so she could text the witch, and after she was done she laid down and told him that she was going to take a nap and that he could leave if he wanted, which he did. And that left her alone to quietly cry on the pillow that smelled so much like him it physically hurt her.

__________

The witch told them that she can't break the bond while y/n was still in her heat so they had to wait two weeks. A lot of things happened. Harry had to spend all those two weeks with y/n to make sure when the "bond scrubbing" - as the witch called it - happens, no difficulties would occur later on, but they were told y/n would be in so much pain since she was the one to be injected so all the pheromones Harry gave her when he bit her leave her body and with that their bond would break and everything would get back to normal.

Y/n took those two weeks as a chance to be with Harry before it all gets taken away from her. She was already so attached to him, which was no surprise to her because he was her mate and she wanted to be near him all time. She took as much time cuddling him as she possibly could, she held him tightly after he would be done pounding in her but he would always push himself away from her, sometimes though he would lay down next to her and let her cuddle him as a form of after care, but other times he would get so overwhelmed with everything and would leave her with the excuse of letting her take a nap or to go wash away the sweat from his body.

Harry was hating the fact that his body was getting more used to her as the days passed, and that she was getting more and more soft and gentle for him. Sometimes he would be in class and all he would think about is how good she smelled and how soft her body was whenever he caressed it when she cuddled him and it fucking annoyed him each time.

It was the last day of y/n's heat and she was exhausted, her mind was all foggy and her sight was blurry but she was able to make out Harry's body laying on his back next to her in bed. Upon remembering the fact she'd never have moments like these again, she laid her head on his chest and wrapped one of her arms and legs around him like a koala. She whimpered when she still felt that emptiness in her, she tried snuggling closer to him, but it was still there and it was making her feel uncomfortable. Harry panicked for a second when he heard the sound leave her lips, fearing that she was in some kind of pain he didn't know how to handle.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt ?"

Y/n shook her head as more whimpers left her lips. She surprised him by grabbing his arm that wasn't wrapped around her and slipping his thumb inside her mouth while she held tightly on his pointer and middle finger with one hand. Her body immediately relaxed and her eyes slowly started to drop while she sucked on his finger. Harry was shocked at first but he let her do it since she was in a delicate state of mine and he didn't want to hurt her. He let his free hand's fingers run through her hair and scratch her scalp as he started thinking about what was to come. Their bond was about to break, they would be back to square one where he has to pretend like he hates her and doesn't have mixed feelings towards her, they will have to pretend that nothing between them happened and that they weren't mates at some point, that she didn't turn into an omega because of him.

A knock interrupted his train of thoughts. He allowed whoever was behind the door to come in and was not surprised when he saw it was Liam. He was very protective over y/n, especially in the last few days. She was always a delicate petal, even as a beta and with her presenting she became even more fragile. Liam took it upon himself to protect her even though his job as an omega was the complete opposite.

"Hey, how's everything going ?" He asked with a small smile as he sat on the bed. Harry shrugged.

"Okay, I guess. She's sucking on me thumb and I don't know what that means but she fell asleep, though"

"Maybe she wanted to be closer to you, it helps her relax"

He nodded and continued massaging her scalp while looking down at her peaceful face. He liked watching her sleep (although saying it out loud sounds so creepy), it was probably his favourite moment with her. He sometimes liked to pretend that everything is fine between them and hold her closer to him until sleep takes over him as well.

"You still want to scrub the bond ?" Liam asked after a few seconds of silence. Harry shrugged again. He didn't know, he really didn't. He thought he wanted to when she suggested it to him, but his life had been revolving around her for the past two weeks. He opens his eyes, y/n is the first thing he sees asleep next to him. He goes to class, he remembers that they share one together. He sees a female with the same hair or clothes as her, he thinks it's her for a split second. He sees a pack of cookies in the vending machine, he gets two because he knows she likes them. She just became all he was able to think about and he was already used to it. Whenever he gets bored in class, he would start thinking about her whines and whimpers when he was taking care of her and how she gets all snuggly and warm when they're finished, it put a smile on his face because he was the reason she got like that, she was doing that for him only and god, was it a good ego boost.

"I... don't think so," he finally whispered and Liam raised his eyebrows at him. Harry sighed.

"It's just - I'm getting used to her and I don't know how I'm supposed to get back to my normal routine without her taking part of it, and I don't want her to be in any more pain because the bond scrubbing is really painful, y'know? I want her to be safe here with me and let me take care of her like I've been for the past two weeks…"

"Sounds like you're starting to like her a bit more than you wanted" The brown eyed omega chuckled.

"Yeah…" Harry sighed and planted a kiss on top of y/n's head when he felt her suck on his thumb in her sleep "I think I already do"

Another moment of silence passed by until Harry spoke up again "why did you get so protective over her when she presented, Liam?" This question had been swimming in his mind for the longest time and he wanted answers. Liam sighed.

"I-I know what she's going to face once her family finds out she presented as an omega. They're very strict and have something against anyone that isn't a beta, and if they'd know how she turned they'll get very angry and possibly kick her out. I know deep down she's scared of their reaction, and with losing you she's going to be so lost -" his voice broke a little bit at the end "- I just want her to know that she will not be alone if anything happen, and that she has someone that supports her"

Harry had to do a lot of thinking after Liam left.

___________

It was the next morning at exactly half past eight, the day they were supposed to break the bond, but it was not going to happen. The previous night, Harry thought long and hard about his actions and what Liam had told him and at the end he decided that the bond would not be broken. Liam explained to him more about her situation, he told him that her parents never accepted anyone other than who they were, that's why they lived in an all beta neighborhood and town. She had a cousin who also presented as an omega and their whole family flipped, he was kicked out and forced to change his last name because they didn't want him to have anything in common with them since he "decided" to break the family tree. He didn't want that to happen to his sweet, soft and delicate y/n, he didn't want her to get anymore hurt, he wanted to protect her for the rest of his life and to be able to do so he needed to apologize first.

Harry decided on turning their whole day upside down. He first called the witch to cancel their bond scrubbing session (Atlantes - the witch - was very glad to hear the news and told him to take good care of y/n) then he asked Niall - who of course still stayed in the apartment even though they made a lot of noise all day long - to go out and buy a cute outfit for her to wear (Niall was the second most fashionable of their group - after Harry, of course) while he cooked her favourite breakfast: banana pancakes with a lot of chocolate sauce, but he of course added a delicious healthy smoothie to the mix because it's Harry and what were you expecting? Chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream and a cherry on top? Too much unhealthy stuff.

Y/n opened her eyes to Harry cooing in her ear sweet little things, saying she was confused was an understatement.

"I made you breakfast, and I know you're very sore from the last two weeks so you're going to have it bed"

Her mind was still hazy and she still felt floaty and sleepy so she didn't fight him when he helped her sit up and placed the food on her lap.

"Now, I know you're very confused, but I'm going to explain everything in a second, just enjoy your food and don't think too much about it"

So she did. She ate the very delicious pancakes and drank the weird flavoured milkshake (yet still quite yummy) while he brushed hair out of her face and kissed the top of her head.

Once she was done, y/n immediately turned towards him with frowned eyebrows, silently asking him to explain everything. Harry sighed. He has practiced this moment in his head while he was making breakfast but now that he had to actually do it, he was a bit nervous, and Harry never gets nervous, he was a Styles alpha, for god's sake!

"So...umm…I called Atlantes, and I, um...I cancelled the bond scrubbing session"

Her expression didn't change, she was still looking at him with frowned eyebrows and lips in a very small pout, it was a mighty adorable face and Harry would've given her rosy cheeks kisses, but given the situation they were in, it wouldn't be that appropriate.

"Why ?"

"I-I just thought-" he stopped himself for a second to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts before looking back at her "the last two weeks, I've never spent more time with anyone for that long. You became all I can think about and you still are. Seeing you all delicate and soft for me made me realise that I don't want to put you in any kind of pain, I want to protect you from pain. I want to be there for you when you need me because I know you do, and so do I because we're mates, we're meant to be there for each other." He took in another deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to tell her, "a-and Liam told me about your family"

The once cute expression turned to one of fear, her eyes were wide and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Before you react in any way, let me explain everything to you. He told me yesterday, and I'm so thankful he did because it changed my whole view about everything. I didn't know you lived your life that way, if I did I would've never rejected you in the beginning. The reason I pretended to dislike you when I first met you was because I knew you came from that town and I know people there hate us alphas so to save myself the embarrassment I decided to hate you first and I'm so sorry I did, I always thought you were very sweet even though I didn't admit it to myself"

Her eyes left his so she could hold his hands, something she knew helped her relax the last couple of weeks. She spoke in a very low and soft voice he almost didn't hear her "I always wanted to be your friend" 

"I know, baby. I know" he planted a gentle kiss to her forehead after he pulled her into his lap "but now you're more than that, you're my mate, my whole world revolves around you"

"But what if- what if you get bored of me ?"

He chuckled and cupped her cheeks to look at him, eyes reconnecting making his heart skip a beat "trust me, that will not happen any time soon."

_________

"Are you done in there? I want to see her!" Harry called out for what felt like the millionth time. Y/n was getting ready with Louis and Niall and he was not allowed to see her until the very end. He was not even allowed to be near his bedroom where they were, his own bedroom that he paid for! Can you believe that?! The audacity of the blue eyed alphas.

Louis was sweet enough to come over and help y/n out with getting ready for her and Harry's date that wasn't really a date because he didn't tell her it was, he just told her to get ready because they were spending the whole day together. That was when his apartment door was kicked open and in came Louis with a grin on his face. Apparently, Niall had called him so they can both doll up y/n. Louis was good at doing hair since he had five sisters and his mum couldn't take care of all of them at once so he learned how to do braids and many other hairstyles and over time he became a pro at doing hair. Niall was responsible for her outfit since he was the one who got it for her.

"Impatient little shit," Louis mumbled when he came downstairs where Harry was waiting for them "it would've been more quicker if you kept your mouth shut" he decided on ignoring him and instead looked for y/n. He was impatient but only because he wanted to see her. She was his mate for fuck's sake, he can't stay away from her for two seconds. Besides, for the last two weeks y/n didn't give two shits about how she looked since all she knew what to do was Harry, eat, drink a lot of water and sleep, that means she spent all her day in either a baggy shirt (that were all his) or totally naked, so the memories of her not looking fucked out in his bed and looking like a "normal person" totally vanished from his head, that's why he wanted to see her dressed up.

And he was blown away.

See, before all this happened, he never took his time to look at her and take her in, she was his "enemy" after all, he was not supposed to look at her or think she was beautiful. But when he saw her standing next to the stairs of his home, a gentle, shy smile on her face, he thought that she was the most gorgeous little thing in the world.

She wore a blue cardigan with a simple white dress underneath. Her feet were covered with blue socks and white sneakers. Her hair - instead of the tangled mess it was that morning - was left down in waves but had two braids at the top of her head (they were called waterfall braids, but how was he supposed to know that ?). He didn't realise she had make-up on until he stepped closer to her. Her lips were covered with gloss that sparkled everytime she moved, her eyes had only mascara on and a blue thing in her waterline that matched the rest of her outfit. Everything was very minimal, he liked that a lot.

(visual of the dress)

"Have you always been this pretty ?"

"She actually has, yeah" Niall answered for her "you just didn't realise that because you were being an asshole" Louis finished for him. With a roll of his eyes, Harry decided on ignoring them again and only focused on his little omega.

"You smell so nice, baby. Just like you've been the past few days" he put his hands under her armpits and lifted her up so they could be face to face, letting her wrap her legs around him as he supported her by gripping her thighs. Their height difference was pretty noticeable, but he liked the fact that she was shorter than him, it meant he could easily protect her when needed.

"is this all for me ?" 

Y/n nodded her head, a blush creeping up on her cheeks when she saw the way he was looking at her. Never in the last three years of her life had she even thought about sharing a moment like this with Harry. She always thought he was rough, especially since the only time she saw him with someone else was at parties when they would sneak away to a bedroom. He never introduced someone as his significant other so that made her assume he wasn't into relationships. She never thought he was the kind to even give nicknames to his mate or be so loving to them, but yet here he was, looking at her like she hung the stars for him.

"My pretty baby" he cooed before giving her a kiss and letting her down on her feet again. He turned to the two boys standing in front of them, his demeanor changing completely as he talked to them, the once sweet voice turning to a whole different kind "We'll be gone for the whole day. Don't do anything stupid, both of you. Remember that it's not only my house Niall, you paid for it too. And Louis, don't touch my snacks drawer, I know you have sweet teeth and not just one, go buy your own haribos. Oh, and don't try and have a foursome, it's fucking gross"

"Okay but can you stop using your alpha voice. First of all, it's not going to work on us, we're alphas too. And second of all, I'm pretty sure y/n is about to drip down her legs and I don't know if my wolf will be able to handle such a sight"

He turned towards his mate, and just as Louis said, she looked like she was about to drop on her knees for him. Her pupils were so big an outsider would think she was wearing contacts, she was shifting from one leg to the other and don't get him started on her smell. God, he would've taken her right there in front of the boys if he could, but unfortunately, he couldn't, he had a whole day planned and fucking her against the wall with two of his best mates watching wasn't part of it.

"Come one, baby. We have a fun day ahead of us" and with that they were out of the door.

__________

Y/n never had so much fun in her life until her date with Harry.

And yes, it was a date. He confirmed it when she asked him where they were going after they left the house ("on our first date, darling. That's where we're going. Now be a good girl and buckle up, don't want ya hurt in anyway.")

He took her to an amusement park, but not just any kind, he took her to the one she had been wanting to visit since it opened. It was a long drive to get there but Harry was a good entertainer. They played games, they asked each other questions, they sang along to the radio, it was just overall fun and if he told her that their date was just going on a car ride, she would've still thought it was the most fun thing ever, but it was actually just starting.

They arrived by lunch time so they decided on eating some food and walking around afterwards because going on roller coasters and such games after eating isn't the best idea. He ordered a burger and orange juice for both of them and had her sitting on his lap while they ate because all he wanted was to have his arms around her. Some people gave them weird looks but others knew they were newly bounded mates and still in their honeymoon phase judging by the fresh looking bite on the side of her neck.

After half an hour of walking side by side, y/n took Harry's hand in hers and pointed at the swing ride "Harry can we play there, please ?"

"Since you're such a good girl and used your manners and said please, we will play there but you have to be near me as much as possible, baby. I don't want you flying off to Ireland or something"

With a giggle and a skip in her steps, she dragged him to the not so long line of people waiting to go on the ride as well. Only a minute into them standing there, a guy with platinum coloured hair started staring at y/n. Harry coughed and wrapped another arm around her and pushed her back against his chest. And even with that, the guy was still shamelessly staring.

"Can I help you with something, mate? You've been staring an awful lot at my girl" Harry asked with an annoyed tone and a harsh glare, and that made the guy snap out of it quickly.

"Oh, so sorry, mate. But, is your name y/n ?" His question was directed to her. The green eyed alpha tensed. Oh no, is this going to be a bumping into an ex with the new boyfriend kind of situation? 

"Yeah…" her voice faded at the end but then a gasp left her lips as she cupped it "Theodore !?"

"Oh my god, I knew it was you !"

She pushed Harry's arms away from her and quickly hugged the unknown guy tightly. He was very mad by now and a little bit hurt by her action. Who the fuck was this guy? And why was he giving his omega kisses on the cheek like he wasn't standing right there.

"Harry, this is my cousin! The one Liam told you about! Oh, I missed you so much, Theodore. Where have you been ?!"

Oh. So it all makes sense now. This was the cousin that got kicked out because he presented as an omega. Funny how the world works.

"I've been traveling with my mate, Noah" Harry didn't notice until now the guy standing protectively behind Theodore. He gave y/n a little wave and sent a nod towards him which he kindly returned.

"That's so cool! I'm with my mate too! This is Harry"

The two males shook hands firmly. Theodore looked at him confused while Harry wrapped his arm around his girl again "are you an alpha ?"

When he told him that he was in fact an alpha, the poor guy's eyes nearly popped off his head as he looked back down at his cousin "you presented too!?"

"Two weeks ago. Doctor said I wasn't fully a beta and Harry activated that little bit of omega I had in me"

"A forbidden love between our omega great grandmother and beta great grandfather led to all of this. Have you told your parents yet ?"

Y/n instantly frowned, moving closer to Harry as she looked up at him, her eyes silently telling him she was worried and scared. He let her tuck her head in his chest and rubbed her back to let her know he was right there to protect her. Nothing will ever hurt her as long as he was there.

"We are yet to inform her family about our situation but I'm definitely not going to tell them in person, I was thinking about sending them a letter explaining everything but I'm 100% sure I'm not going to let them go anywhere near her. I was told about what happened to you and I'm not going to let history repeat itself. My job is to protect her and make sure she's happy. Huh, baby? All you have to do is sit there looking all pretty and let me do all the hard work for you" he smiled down at her and gave her temple a little kiss just to pull a smile out of her, and it worked, he knew she liked his kisses.

"That's so nice of you, Harry. Thank you so much for being there for her" Theodore sent him a small smile before looking back at his cousin.

After exchanging numbers and promised to see each other soon, the line moved and they were finally going on the ride. They decided on sitting in the middle - well, Harry did, but just to make sure his girl wouldn't get scared or harmed in any way, shape or form. And it was so much fun! They both loved it so much they did it again later on, although the second time he did get a little bit dizzy.

They played so many games and went on so many rides to the point they didn't realise the sun was already about to set and the sky was about to turn dark. They had one more ride to go on though, and he saved the best one last. He was going to make y/n remember this forever.

The Farris wheel.

They were instructed to sit facing each other for good balance, but Harry wasn't going to take orders from a grumpy old man, he was going to sit next to his mate wethere he liked it or not.

"The sky is so pretty!" Y/n gasped when they reached the top, her eyes twinkling with the many lights surrounding their seats. Harry smiled and gave the back of her head a kiss. His favourite thing about her was how she gets excited over the smallest things, like seeing bubbles or when babies smile at her silly faces. She wasn't hard to please, too. When he bought her a lollipop she had the biggest smile on and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek just for something as small as a one pound worth of candy.

"How come I've never noticed how sweet you are, hm? I was such a dick to you. I'm so sorry, baby"

"It's okay," she gave his chin a kiss and smiled up at him "I have you now, that's all that matters"

The kiss they shared at the top of the Farris wheel was not their first, they had their fair share of kisses when y/n was going through her heat. But this was their first kiss while conscious, if you will. They both knew what was going on and were not sex driven. She tasted so sweet, like the candy apple she had before they got on the ride and a little bit of the grape lollipop.

After they had dinner (it was just chicken salad since they both didn't feel like eating anything heavy), they went back to the car to go back home. They were pretty tired, but mostly y/n because not even fifteen minutes into the car ride she was knocked out in her seat. Harry had to snap a picture of her asleep, she was too adorable for him not to make it his lock screen so he can look at it every time he checks his phone.

Once they reached his apartment, he carried her inside, checking the living room on his way to see Niall, Louis and also Liam all asleep while a movie was playing on the TV. He changed y/n into one of her pajamas before tucking her in the middle of the bed (somehow she fell off three times in the two weeks of her heat, so better safe than sorry) before he took a quick shower, trying his best to stay silent while doing so to not wake her up.

But when he came back to the room, he found y/n sat up with nearly closed eyes looking around the room as if she was searching for something.

"What's wrong, baby?"

A big, sleepy smile took over her lips when she saw him standing at the foot of the bed putting on his underwear. He crawled towards her once he dried his skin and gave her nose a kiss "my sleepy omega baby" he mumbled against her lips making her giggle sweetly at him.

If you would tell Harry a month ago that he would be cuddling y/n in his bed after having their first date in the amusement park, he would probably laugh and walk away while mumbling something about crazy people. But yet, here he was, pulling her to his chest and pushing kisses on her skin and telling her how much she meant to him. Over the time he spent with her on their date, he got to see a side of her that she never showed to anyone. A delicate, soft girl who just wants to be taken care of and made happy. She told him that she always felt like an omega before she presented but never told anyone because she feared she would get judged and that made him so sad. But that was the past, what he should focus on now is making sure she never feels that way again.

And the funny thing is, he was already head over heels in love with her. He was told by many friends and family that it doesn't take more than 24 hours to love your mate when you meet them, it's just the way your body and mind works. With knowing that information, he had a good feeling in his stomach that y/n felt the same way as him and that just made him feel like he won the lottery or summat.

He knew she didn't hear him when he whispered in her ear those three words judging by the soft snores that were leaving her parted lips, but he didn't care, they have so many days coming ahead of them and he will spoil her with love and affection every second of every day.

_________________

The Masterlist.

Hannibal Rising aesthetic

“ Mischa, we take comfort in knowing there is no God. That you are not enslaved in Heaven, made to kiss God’s ass forever. What you have is better than Paradise. You have blessed oblivion. I miss you every day.” ― Thomas Harris.Hannibal Rising 

42 Hours (II)

Content: part 2 to an enemies to lovers au in which Harry and Y/N are forced into a cross country road trip to make it to their best friends’ wedding on time!! includes a karaoke bar in Cleveland, Ohio, sharing of motel rooms (oh my god there was only one bed 👁️👁️), and a lesbian wedding in the Catskills

Warnings: language, alcohol, NSFW content, making fun of Nebraska and The Notebook

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Word Count: 32k

A/N: okay can I just say that I am so glad this is finally done. I have been working on this fic for over a month!!! the entire thing is over 51k in length!!!!!! my word doc is almost 100 pages!!!! this was meant to be a fun story about enemies to lovers stuck on a road trip!!!!! what happened!!!! but thank you guys so much for all the love and support and interest in this story <3 I was really nervous about splitting it up (which looking back was a good choice because again. it’s so long.) but you all showed so much love for the story and the characters!!!! I’d like to give a special shout out to miss andrea @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy​ and miss alex @darthstyles​ for proof reading, and miss andrea again for this pretty header image!! if you’re looking for any good reads after this, I highly recommend checking out their masterlists!! and as always, if you like this fic, please like it AND reblog it!! and shoot me a message about it!! feedback is always appreciated, not just by me, but by ALL content creators, and is the main motivation for us to create more for you all to enjoy!!

{masterlist}

{masterlist}

here is everyone’s wedding looks!! and HERE is a lil moodboard of Jo and Laure’s wedding so you can sense the vibes!!

also!! if you want to set the mood for a road trip with Harry, here is a link to the playlist that is mentioned and referenced in this fic!!

It’s almost instantaneous, Y/N notices, how quickly and easily she and Harry fall into a rhythm of friendship. From the moment she wakes up the next morning to a blue sky, the storm long passed, and Harry holding out a cup of black coffee for her, the stress and anxiety of the previous day is gone. There’s no watching herself around Harry, biting her tongue to stop herself from snapping over every small motion he makes as he fidgets in the driver’s seat.  There’s no irritation caused by the way he taps his fingers on the steering wheel, or how he asks any question that crosses his mind, speaking out his random chain of thoughts just as often.  

The thing that Y/N’s come to realize is that Harry is so much more interesting than she’d ever thought. He’s certainly more interesting than the endless fields of corn that whip by her window as he drives down the interstate.  His jokes are dumb, but he says them with such a big grin on his face that she can’t help but laugh.  His comments are strange, but Y/N finds herself enjoying the weird words that slip from his mouth without being caught by a filter.

“If we were in a Children of The Corn situation,” Harry begins, raising his voice to be heard over the sounds of Simon and Garfunkel. “Do you think you’d be able to outsmart the cult?  Or would you get sacrificed to He Who Walks Behind the Rows?”

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Mark with SEVENTEEN Jun at MAMA 2019

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Hannibal Rising (2007)