The Law Of Attraction (Lawyer! Jung Kook X Reader) [Part 12]

The Law of Attraction (Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader) [Part 12]

Story Synopsis: Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.

Story Rating: M (18+) [Language, sex, depression, alcoholism]

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Characters/Pairings: Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader (feat. Jimin x Reader)

Chapter Word Count: 2.4k

Taglist: @cassies-cookies @crisle19 @dream-cvtcher @jimincrystal @jksusawife @jk-190811 @khadeeeeej @kooklovee @lalataegi @lallataegi @mukeovernetflix @rispwn @shellyyy177 @smoljimjim @taetaecatbo @user-190811 @whoa-jo @11thenightwemet11

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“I think I’ll let you start our conversation today. Whatever you’d like to talk about. I want you to take the reigns.” 

Dr. Moore’s voice was calm and quiet, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in Jimin’s head, and in his heart. He sat in her office chair, like a scolded child, completely embarrassed of his actions. This was a new low, and it was a wake up call when Taehyung held on to him as he stumbled back to the treatment center in the cold rain. Finding the bottom of the bottle didn’t erase his memory of the look on your face. You were so afraid, fear written on every feature of your face, illuminated by the bar’s neon lights, and he did nothing to even attempt to comfort you. Even he was a mess, tripping over himself and slurring his words, you chose to run to Jung Kook and make sure he was ok instead. Jimin knew, in that moment, that he had lost you. He had used up all of your patience, and what he found was his true rock bottom. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Jimin admitted. “I wanted to be sober for Y/N. But, I know she’s not mine anymore. I… I can’t talk about last night. I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Dr. Moore asked, and Jimin nodded his head. 

“I’m afraid.” He said. “I’m scared to tell my father.” 

“Is that your biggest fear right now?” 

Jimin thinks for a moment, and he nods his head. 

“He’s going to be so angry with me, knowing that I lost her. He was very happy about our engagement… Losing her was my biggest fear, but I know there’s nothing I can do about that now.” 

“Why was losing Y/N your biggest fear?” 

“Because,” Jimin started, a bit offended. “She’s the love of my life.” 

“But now that she’s gone… Your fear is placed back on your father.” 

Jimin furrowed his brows and crossed his arms defensively, not understanding her thought process. 

“Please correct me if you think that I’m off base, but have you thought that maybe, you weren’t afraid of Y/N leaving because of the love you have for her, but because if she left, it would mean disappointment from your father?” 

Jimin’s lips parted to protest, but the words were caught in his mouth. He knew that the heart of what Dr. Moore was trying to point out was true. He loved you, undoubtedly, more than he’s ever loved anyone else. But the root of that fear, much like every other fear in his life, is his father’s disappointment. Parks get what they want. But Jimin didn’t get what he wanted, not this time. His father wouldn’t accept that. 

“During our conversations together, Jimin,” Dr. Moore began, leaning in to focus on him. “Something you bring up time and time again, is your fear of your father. It’s an insecurity of displeasing him. It’s what made you angry with your mother’s death, what clings you to Y/N, what began your drinking. You look for ways to escape, or to never be left alone with him. That fear is what we should conquer. Everything else is secondary, and can’t be fixed on their own, without tackling that fear.” 

It clicked. For the first time in Jimin’s life, the puzzle pieces were put into place. He was more terrified, and more heart broken, than he had ever felt in his life, but with it came a new kind of freedom. 

Jimin spoke with her for a few more moments, attempting to articulate those emotions, and Dr. Moore just smiled supportively. As he worked his emotions out verbally, he could begin to untangle the web of connections. He left her office feeling just a bit lighter. The pain of losing you was still burning, fresh and hot in the center of his chest, and the threat of tears was ever present. But being able to lay out exactly what he needed to unravel inside himself, gave him a new pathway to happiness that could be more lasting. He wanted what was best for you, and he knew very clearly now that it wasn’t going to be him. He still had a long, long way to go. 

——————————————————————————————————- 

Jung Kook walked into his apartment after a long day of work, and noticed a sticky note on the kitchen counter. Your handwriting spelled out, “Wanted to go out for a bit. I’ll be back soon! :)” 

He smiled to himself at the little smiley face at the end as he walked towards his bedroom, and changed out of his suit and into something more comfortable. He took the time alone to video call his mother, who he hadn’t been able to speak in length to. 

“Hi, Eomma.” Jung Kook greeted her. 

“Oh, I missed you.” She said with a sad chuckle. “How do you like it there?” 

“I do.” He replied, looking out the window onto the city. “But I do miss home, of course. It’s hard not to.” 

“Home misses you, too.” She said. “But you must be so busy with work, aren't you?” 

“Very much.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Eomma, do you remember… Do you remember Y/N?” 

“The girl you talked so much about?” Jung Kook could practically hear her smile over the phone. “Yes, I remember hearing about her.” 

“You won’t believe what’s happened.” He said, laying back onto his bed. 

As he continued to explain to her everything that’s happened, he was oblivious to your presence in the living room, right outside of his bedroom. You had come home from a solo shopping day, and you placed your bags on the coffee table in front of the sofa. You were excited to show Jung Kook your gift for him, as a thank you for all that he’s done for you. But as you walked towards his bedroom door, and heard him on the phone, you couldn’t help but stop when you overheard what he was saying. 

“She’s the only girl I’ve ever wanted, Eomma.” Jung Kook said. “You know that.” 

“I do.” She smiled sweetly. “I still remember how you came home from Seoul after breaking off your engagement, and you told me you just couldn’t go through with it. You were so upset for hurting her, but you did the right thing by being honest.” 

“I didn’t even think I’d ever see Y/N again.” He admitted. “I just… I couldn’t get married, knowing I had feelings for Y/N. I know those feelings are never going away.” 

You snuck away to your bedroom, with your breath caught in your lungs. You had already known that Jung Kook had left his engagement because of how he felt for you, but hearing him say that those feelings are something that he thinks will never leave, set an indescribable feeling in your chest. Maybe it was just butterflies, or maybe it was a newfound sense of hope, that there was a lasting calm to be found after weathering the storm. You turned your attention to the bouquet of flowers he had given you, somehow still vividly colorful and in bloom by your beside. Red and pinks painted onto the soft petals, somehow still not wilted. It was a reminder that if you take care of something seemingly delicate, it can be strong. 

“Y/N?” Jung Kook asked from the living room, breaking your thoughts. “You home?” 

Home. That word wasn’t lost on you. 

His voice was the same, but it sounded sweeter somehow. It lingered, taking it’s time and resting comfortably in the room. Your feet took over, throwing themselves onto the apartment’s hardwood floor, and rushing over to find him. He stood in the living room, same stars sparkling in his dark eyes that you’ve become so familiar with. You walked over to him, and took him by surprise when you wrapped your arms around him, and rested your head on his chest. His eyes widened, thinking that maybe something else bad had happened, but no tears came. Instead, you just held him, and he rested into your touch, putting his arms around you too. 

“Hi.” He smiled, before placing a kiss to your hair. “Missed you today.” 

“I’m really happy you’re here.” You said, looking up at him without letting go. "Thank you.” 

Jung Kook’s gaze became incredibly soft and gentle. He knew in that instant, that he had become a safe place for you to run to. So, he kept his arms around you, and somehow managed to pull you in closer, before connecting his lips to yours. Every movement was a promise; the smile he felt your lips turn into as he kissed them, the way his hands traced your curves, how your fingers found his hair to pull him in. They were all promises of a better, but undefined future. Jung Kook knew you wouldn’t leave him lonely anymore, and he knew you understood that he was yours. You just had to let him in. 

—————————————————————————————————

A few days passed, and during that time, you worked up the nerve to meet Jimin again. You knew that what you would receive when you met him, was closure. It was the inevitability that you were somehow hoping to avoid. 

Love doesn’t die all at once. It’s an unhurried death, with shallow breaths and the slowing of hearts. And like everything else, no two loves die in exactly the same way, because no two loves are ever the same. You didn’t want to know how your love with Jimin would end, but you knew that in order to start again, this was a step you had to take. 

When you walked in to meet Jimin, as you had done so many times before, you were taken aback. He sat alone, with an aura of peace in his presence that hadn’t been there for as long as you could remember. He looked at you, and he offered a gentle, knowing half-smile. He could feel love’s slow death too, and much like you, he was in the final stage of mourning. Acceptance. 

You sat down in the meeting room, sharing his company on a soft, blue sofa. The air was fragile, and both of you were aware of its unpreventable breaking. Jimin’s knee touched yours, as you sat close together on the edge of the cushions. He wondered silently if that was the last time he would ever touch you. 

“Do you remember,” Jimin spoke up, breaking the silence. “How my mother would watch you whenever you jumped off the diving board into your pool, and then try to convince me to do the same?” 

“Yeah.” You smiled at the memory. “Mrs. Park would always comment to my mother that I was fearless.” 

Jimin laughed with a tinge of sadness, his eyes beginning to water. 

“And there I was, shaking as I climbed the latter.” He said. “She watched me, and when I stood up there, looking back down at her, I was so scared. But Eomma would give me a nod, and a smile, and a thumbs up. It was enough to get me to jump, and once I hit the water… I realized, every time, that I never drown, or sunk to the bottom. I always managed to swim back up.” 

You watched Jimin as he spoke, but his eyes never met yours as he told his story. He looked down at the floor, as though he could visualize the pool below him. Jimin transformed in his mind to that scared kid once again, looking down at his mother, who stood right by the water and knew he could make it. 

“I think she was teaching me, is that I don’t have to be afraid to jump.” Jimin said. “I think she knew that no matter what, I would always find a way to… swim back up again.” 

“I think so, too.” You smiled, and took his hand in yours. His eyes met yours, and your tears matched his. 

“I want to apologize to you, honey.” Jimin said. “For everything. I’m so sorry for hurting you. You never deserved any of it. I know I haven’t acted like it, but when I told you that you’re the love of my life, I meant it. But I also know that I can’t sit here, after everything, and ask you to stay with me.” 

His hand tightened its grip on yours, and tears that had been lining the waterlines of your eyes were now overflowing. Jimin had droplets of his own, and he smiled a sad smile. He knew you were exhausted, and he understood that to love you, in this moment, would be to let you go. 

“I’m going to miss you, angel.” Jimin said, his voice almost a whisper as he committed your features to memory. “I’m sorry. I hope you know that I’ll always love you, no matter what. And if you ever need anything… If you’re ever lonely… I’ll be there.” 

You nod, unable to speak. 

“I love you, too.” You said with a sad smile of your own. “No matter what.” 

Jimin leaned in, and stole one last kiss from your lips. He knew he’d never forget how your lips tasted, or how they felt on his. It was tattooed onto his memory, and had been since the first time he had ever kissed you that night on the beach. 

You never knew that a kiss could hurt until that moment. It felt like a burning in your chest, like your body was screamingatyou that this is what you need. But you knew it wasn’t. Your heart felt like it was being ripped away from you, leaving your body cold and empty. You were truly saying goodbye to your Jiminie, watching your future together crumble and disintegrate with a few words and a kiss. 

When he finally mustered up the power to let go, you reached into your bag, and took out the engagement ring he had given you in front of your families. Jimin watched as you placed it in his hand, and curled his fingers around it. The metal was cold, indicating just how long it had been since it was on your hand. 

Words failed the both of you. There was nothing else to say. So instead, you looked at his delicate features one last time, before slowing rising from the sofa, and exiting the room. Jimin, who wanted so badly to chase after you, couldn’t bring himself to move. So he sat alone, watching you walk away, as he held the ring meant for you in his hand. 

How Pinterest sees me (celebrity, shoes, outfit, aesthetic, purse, makeup look)

between takes | 05

as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard.

pairing: porn star!jk x f fluffer!reader

genre: porn star au, fluff, angst, smut

word count: 5k

warnings: a little angst, otherwise nothing

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 5/6 (?)

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© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

Jeongguk is hands down the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Scratch that; he’s the most attractive person you’ve ever laid eyes on. After waking up at right past eight a.m., in a quiet and still room and with a lovely warmth enveloping your body, you turned around in his arms, taking the time to admire him. 

He didn’t react when you pushed against his chest to create some space between you in order to look at his face, and he didn’t react when you lifted your hand to run it through his black hair, either. Well, he stirred a little, but showed no signs of waking up. You don’t know if staring at his sleeping face while considering your situation does you any good, but it’s definitely hard to stop.

After ten more minutes of slowly and gently brushing his soft hair away from his pretty face, you roll out of bed, quietly and carefully heading for the bathroom. It’s when you’ve peed and changed into your own clothes that you catch your reflection in the mirror. 

You lift your hand to trace the purple marks decorating the skin all from your neck to your shoulders, and something feels uncomfortably heavy in your stomach.

Maybe you’re reading too much into things, but it feels symbolic how your skin is littered in faint bruises and bites while his remains unmarked. You don’t mind that he left them, but it’s  another reminder of how you’re entirely his while he can never be yours. At least not in the way that you’d need him to be.

“Should I… not have left those?”

You spin around, coming face to face with Jeongguk, standing in nothing but the same pair of gray sweats he wore to bed and looking at you with worry pooling in his tired but quickly awakening eyes.

“No, it’s fine…”

“Cause you didn’t say I couldn’t or use any of the colors, and…” he trails off as he looks you up and down, taking in what you’re wearing, and his expression turns from worried to hurt, “Were you… sneaking off?”

You shut your eyes briefly. You didn’t know what to do, and sneaking off seemed like the least painful option.

“Jeongguk…”

He takes another step into the bathroom, his eyes wide. “If I did something… I’m really sorry. You should’ve told me, you should’ve used the colors. You can’t expect me to know unless you tell me.”

“It’s not that,” you assure, looking up at him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why were you going to leave without telling me?”

You feel your whole body fill with a bland sort of sadness. 

“I thought you realized as well that this was a one-time thing, and so I thought leaving before you woke up would make things easier. For both of us.”

“A one-time thing?” he repeats, looking at you and appearing absolutely heartbroken. “But I–I thought…”

You share his palpable disappointment, you really do. If you could just grab him by the hand and pull him back to his bedroom, you would. If it were an option, you wouldn’t leave his bed or him, ever.

“I thought that…” he continues, “I thought that we fixed it? You like me and I like you, and I’m not interested in anyone else, so if you just trust me, there’s nothing to be insecure about.”

“I know what you said, but it’s not that easy. I want to date you–”

“–Then date me. It’s what I’ve been trying to say; I want to date you.”

“I want to date you, but I can’t. You have sex with them, Jeongguk. I wish it didn’t matter to me, but it does, and I can’t handle that. I want to be devoted to a partner and feel like he’s devoted to me as well. I want to have the mindblowing sex and the soft touches afterward, but I want it just between us. I want it to be up to him if I can leave marks, and I want to know that I’m the only one he fucks and touches like that.”

There’s a short silence as he takes in your words.

“And I can’t give that to you,” he concludes quietly.

“I’m sorry. I hope you know that I don’t judge you for your profession; if anything I’m happy that you’re so successful at something you like to do. But I can’t handle it, I’m sorry.”

“So you’re really leaving? It was just a one-time thing?”

You bite your lip, choosing your words. “I thought you understood what I meant when I explained why I never told you I liked you, and so I assumed it was a collective decision to ignore it for the night. I’m sorry if you regret what we did now, but I just… 

You pause. It won’t hurt to be honest, right? In fact, being honest about your feelings might just be the most gentle way.

“I can’t… resist you. Not when you look at me like you did, and it’s really fucking hard right now too because I really, really like you.”

That’s the truth. You’ve… loved him for a long time. He’s warm to you, a comfortable fire in the dead of winter, a best friend, a lover, a partner. He’s joy, and he’s passion and stability. Or that’s what he could’ve been. But letting your heart win would get you burned.

You see how he takes a small step forward, his mouth opening in preparation to say something you assume is to persuade you to give him a shot.

“Don’t.” you interrupt. “I know myself and what I can handle, and this is not it. I don’t want to try and change you just as I don’t want you to try to change me.”

You stop right in front of him. Oh, how you wish you could look past his profession because you want him so, so badly. There’s a moment when all you do is look at each other, and you hope he can tell how sorry you are.

Then, you tear your eyes away from his disappointed brown eyes, and he lets you pass him on your way out of the bathroom. 

Quietly, you gather the few belongings you brought into your bag all while he seemingly just stands there and thinks.

It’s only when you’ve put your shoes on and reach for your jacket that he regains his consciousness.

“Let me have your number.”

Your hands halt, your jacket zipped up halfway. You turn to look at him sadly.

He takes a step forward, and your eyes are temporarily drawn to how his abdominal muscles move under his skin.

“You can’t tell me I meant anything to you if you’re just gonna walk out of here forever and never let me see you again? If what we had, not even the sexual aspect, but if I meant anything to you, even as a friend, let me have your number. Let me wish you happy birthday and merry Christmas and such at least?”

It’s your turn to think, and you do think you agree, even if keeping in contact and talking to him seems like it would be very difficult.

“Okay. But please… I’ve made up my mind, but if you text me, even just to sleep with me like this, I won’t be able to say no to you, but you’ll be hurting me.”

He nods eagerly at the chance to remain somewhat in touch, turning around and quickly heading into his bedroom, mumbling something about his phone.

The moment he returns with it, you take the unlocked device from his hand, creating a new contact and putting your number in. Without dwelling on it, you simply save the contact as your name, pressing ‘call,’ and ending it as soon as you hear your own phone ring in your pocket. “Now I have yours too.”

Jeongguk gives you a smile when you hand his phone back, and you can discern every little emotion that his expression consists of. He’s sad and disappointed and hurt that you’re leaving, but he’s holding onto the fact that you haven’t outright cut every line of communication between you. You don’t think he’s waiting and hoping to win you over, at least it feels like he wouldn’t look so sad if that were the case.

And he’s not alone in his emotions. Despite feeling like the coldhearted villain, your body and heart feel heavy too. You’re sad and hurting, but you’re more determined than he is, and leaving with his number in your phone makes it feel… a little easier and not as final, like you won’t actually have to quit him cold turkey even though you know you’ll try.

It turns out that you’re the first one to initiate a short conversation.  On September first, two months after your last encounter, you send a ‘Happy birthday, thinking of you’ his way. It wasn’t a difficult decision, and you didn’t delete and retype the words ten times. You guess he’ll be out celebrating with his friends tonight, a lot of them from the company, and you genuinely do hope he has a good time.

It takes ten minutes of silence before your phone dings, and you unlock it. There are two messages sent in quick succession.

‘Thank you. Missing you.’

‘I hope that’s okay for me to say, I just wanted you to know that you’re missed.’

Like earlier, you don’t need a lot of time to choose your words–or non-words. He knows that you miss him too, otherwise you wouldn’t have texted him. So you send him a red heart, a motionless symbol that you can practically feel bursting with meaning and unspoken words. He sends one just like it back.

When snow is falling and Christmas rolls around, you’re not surprised when he reaches out. Though you were expecting another text and not a phone call. Seeing his name on the screen has a small smile pulling on your lips, and you excuse yourself from the dinner table, swiping to answer, and putting the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, how are you?” he asks, and warmth spreads through your entire body at the sound of his voice. God, how you miss him.

“I’m doing alright,” you smile to yourself. “You?”

“I’m doing alright too. I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas. Oh, and Wendy keeps asking for your number, is it okay for me to give it to her?”

The mention of Wendy has another burst of warmth circling your system.

“Yeah, it’s okay. But warn her that I’m not coming to any of your work outings.”

“Cause I’m there?” he concludes lightheartedly, but you know the sadness that lies behind it.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you don’t want to see me, or if I should take it as a compliment that you find me so irresistible that seeing me would make you jump my bones.”

You laugh. “I hate to say it but it’s definitely the latter. Would you stop me, though?”

“No, definitely not.”

“See, that’s the problem.”

The line goes silent, and you keep smiling sadly to yourself. His voice brings so many memories, but he’s absolutely right; you still find him way too irresistible.

“Merry Christmas, Jeongguk.”

Wendy soon starts to text you, and you talk a lot about your lives, but even though a big part of hers still more or less revolves around Jeongguk, she talks a surprisingly small amount about him, just says now and again that he misses you and that things aren’t the same without you. You ask her what she knows, and she says that Jeongguk told her briefly about what happened. 

She inquires encouragingly about your dating life, but you buckle and admit that as long as Jeongguk is the only man you can think about, which he’ll probably be for at least another year or two (maybe even forever honestly), you’re not doing any dating. Which is true, and whatever little spark was between you and Doyoung dwindled. He’s still one of your closest friends, but you both realized you weren’t meant for each other.

You weren’t lying when you told Wendy that Jeongguk is the only man you think about because no matter the time or day, you find yourself thinking of his laughter and his smiling eyes and his dimple, and when you close your eyes, you see his arms, his fingers, veins, and tattoos. It’s like you can almost feel his warm skin under the palms of your hands, and sometimes, when you’re alone in your apartment, you think back to that moment in his kitchen. His body behind yours in the dark, his breath in your hair. How he carried you back to bed and had you sleep in his arms. It’s easy to feel lonely. 

The next text you receive hits your phone in the middle of January, and it’s the first time you hear from Jeongguk since Christmas. You didn’t get a text on New Year’s, but you can’t blame him since you were preoccupied, yourself. It’s a longer one, evident by the preview on your locked screen.

You grab your phone from the desk where you’re working, moving your coffee mug out of the way.

‘I know you said no to work outings, but we’re celebrating some stuff, including my 250th movie, and Wendy really misses you. I told her that I wanted to respect your decision, so she’s not letting me out of sight all night, which means you can’t jump my bones unless you decide to do it in front of her.’

His message, although true, has you chuckling to yourself. Locking the phone, you bite your lip, considering. A work outing with a lot of people. People you used to work with as well and who you miss. If Jeongguk is the center of attention then you probably won’t find yourself alone with him, and if Wendy knows, she can keep you and him in line. You take a big breath.

‘Fine :) When and where?”

The elevator ride up to the building’s top floor is understandably much longer than to those housing the sets you used to work on. You tap your foot anxiously and pull a little on your dress. It’s nothing special; an ordinary, mid-length, black dress, though you really do like the off shoulder detail. You did your hair like you normally do, and your makeup as well. Wendy said it wasn’t a super fancy event, just dress up a little bit, but there’s no need to go all out unless you wanted to.

Although definitely being aware of the celebrations, you’re caught off guard when the elevator doors open. Just in the small connecting corridor between the elevators and the big, open main hall, there are balloon arches and what looks like trails of… confetti, all in the same blue and silver color scheme.

Stepping out of the elevator, you follow the sound of music and people chattering, rounding a corner and spotting the celebrators. They’re maybe 50 in total, spread out in different clusters, holding drinks and having a good time. 

There are more decorations inside, a few regular balloon arches but there’s also a large, silver ‘250’ that takes up a good portion of a wall. Wow, they’ve really made an effort. You can’t recall anyone getting a party this big for a milestone like that, but then again, you weren’t always aware of the ‘after work’ specials simply because you were already on your way home, trying to calm your heart after a day with Jeongguk and needing to catch up on either school work or just work.

Besides the balloons and confetti, there are… birds? They’re not too many, but they’re definitely there, and it's… weird. Jimin holds a string connected to a round balloon with some sort of seagull on it, one of the more well-liked sound guys is wearing those party glasses, the ones in the shape of two kiwi birds. In the distance, you see a pink flamingo hat, its wearer walking across the floor.

Certainly odd, you blink, spotting Jeongguk talking to a few other actors with a beer bottle in his hand, and your heart skips a beat. He’s wearing a loose, short-sleeved black dress shirt, the first few buttons undone and showing a deep glimpse of his winter-pale chest. The shirt is tucked into his black pants, and he wears his just as black hair parted a little to the side.

One of the other men you recognize as Namjoon, another adult actor, and although you can’t see the third man’s face, you assume by his stature that it’s one of the company’s directors.

Before you can make a decision whether to approach Jeongguk yet or not, someone else spots you. Someone closer. And louder. Wendy. You turn your head in the direction of her shriek back, watching her light up like a child on Christmas.

“Wendy,” you greet, smiling from ear to ear as she attacks you with a hug. You feel awful for the way you treated her when you let the hurt and disappointment regarding your situation with Jeongguk color your interactions with her as well. Truth be told, she’s been a great friend.

“Hi! Oh my God, I’m so happy you could make it! You want a drink? Here, let’s get you one.”

Ten seconds later, you have a beer in your hand, sipping it while you listen to how much Wendy missed you and to the recap of work drama she offers.

“So, have you spoken to him yet?” she suddenly asks, eyes curious.

“Uh, no. I arrived like a few seconds before you caught me. Thought I’d say hi whenever there’s a better opportunity. Don’t want to interrupt him and his friends.”

“Okay,” she says, surprisingly laid back. You guess she realizes you wouldn’t show up here without intending to speak to him. It eases your feelings, because you were half convinced she’d drag you by your arm and try to pair you up. 

For a few minutes, you talk to Wendy and her stylist coworkers, some of whom you’ve definitely met before as they followed their own actors from set to set.

“Hey.”

If you couldn’t identify the person behind you by the sound of his voice, Wendy’s wide smile would’ve given it away anyway.

With your heart skipping a beat, you turn around, beer still in hand, and meet Jeongguk’s eyes that look down at you warmly. “Glad you could make it.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Wendy signaling something to the others, and a second later, they’ve dispersed, leaving you and Jeongguk at the edge of the celebrations.

“Me too. 250? That’s impressive. Congratulations. Didn’t know it was such a huge deal.” Lifting the drink to your lips, you peer around the room again. “Also, what’s with the birds?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk chuckles, “Thank you. The birds are… just a stupid and slightly embarrassing inside joke. It would take me an hour to explain, and I’d lose brain cells doing so.”

The grin he wears is infectious, reminding you of just how handsome he really is. Luckily for both of you, he stands a respectable distance away, so there’s no excuse for you to reach out and touch him even though he’s making it really, really hard not to.

In your mind, you recount all the times you’ve had a hand on his chest, on his shoulders, or the back of his neck. You replay some sections of the night where you had your fingers in his hair and accidentally created pale half-moons on his back. 

“So, how’s life treating you?” he wonders, breaking you out of your thoughts. It looks like he’s genuinely curious, and you suspect he really is; after all, he often listened intently to your rants and life updates. But this feels like treading dangerous waters.

“Uhm, good. I’ve been good. Settled in nicely at work, and I might actually get a promotion.”

“What? Really? That’s great, congratulations! I guess we need to celebrate that as well.”

You take another sip of beer, smiling. “Thank you. Uhm, I think we should maybe join the others,” you give him a knowing smile, and he looks around to see that the previously closest cluster of people has moved away from you and toward the drinks.

“Alright.”

You join Wendy’s group again, and although you feel his eyes on you from time to time, there isn’t really a good opportunity for Jeongguk to speak to you alone again. Honestly, it relieves you. You’re happy to celebrate him, you really are, but you’re deathly aware of the fact that if he were to get you alone, even just around a corner from the others, you’d climb him. 

And considering what happened the last time you saw him, you’re not so sure he’d stop you, which in turn would leave you even more heartbroken than before when things are the way they are. If there’s anything you know, it’s that you are so, so jealous of Joy, who gets paid to have her hands all over him. You don’t even want to think about what they do every day on set and whether she’s expressed any limits at all. For all you know, he could be fucking her in every position between takes. Fortunately for you and your raging jealousy, you haven’t seen her at the event.

It’s been a little more than an hour when someone taps your shoulder, interrupting your conversation with Yeri and Wendy. To no one’s surprise, it’s Jeongguk again.

Licking his lips, he looks down at you, appearing… serious? “I have something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“Everything okay?” you ask, worry growing.

Despite promising yourself you wouldn’t ever find yourself remotely alone with him again, you let him lead you out of earshot from the others. He looks around as if to make sure no one’s watching too closely. From behind him, you notice Wendy glancing your way, looking hopeful, but what did you expect?

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

“So… what did you want?”

He smiles a small yet… hopeful smile. “Go out with me.”

You sigh heavily, your gaze falling. “Jeongguk…”

“No, listen, please. I know what you said, I do. But this…” he gestures to the room, “it’s not only a celebration of my 250th movie; it’s a ‘good luck’ party. On Monday, I start my second to last week at Adam & Eve.” 

You don’t know what to say, but somewhere in your mind, you notice that the people around you have started to quiet down, some whispers and happy chattering heard instead.

“You’re… quitting?” Your voice is quiet as you try to make sense of what he’s saying. He has to be lying? Right?

Still smiling, he nods. “I’ve felt for quite some time now that, while it’s been great, it’s time for me to do something else. You helped me realize that too, actually, because my days working here were fun, but working here wasn’t the only thing that made it fun. Or the biggest contributor, even.”

Your head is empty, and you don’t dare breathe. Behind him, you notice a few people observe you with big smiles on their faces. Not everyone is looking, in fact, a majority aren’t, but some are evidently waiting for your reaction. Noticing your attention lying elsewhere, Jeongguk peers over his shoulder.

“Fuck, I told her not to tell people,” he groans quietly, “I guess I have myself to blame cause we all know Wendy can’t keep a secret.”

That is definitely true.

“I… don’t understand? You’re quitting? Why? To do what?”

“I’m going back to school. To be a director.”

His eyes sparkle, and you realize that yeah, that is exactly what he should be doing. You used to listen to his suggestions, how he said the films would be more intriguing if they simply let him do this or that. And you’d agree.

“Anyway… I wanted to tell you that I have dinner reservations in forty-five minutes. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to; I told Namjoon he could take his girlfriend if you’re not up for it. But I hope that you are. I hope that… you still want me, and that you might give me a chance?”

It feels as if you’ve been carrying armor made of the strongest, heaviest steel and without the ability to move any of your limbs within it. You’ve been so scared of falling off the line you’ve been tiptoeing, only to find out it was just painted on the floor. Jeongguk is quitting, and he’s asking you out? In a few seconds, the armor cracks down the middle, falling to the floor, and you feel the most intense relief you think you’ve ever felt.

Nodding eagerly and honestly on the brink of tears, you nearly throw yourself at him. He feels warm when you put your arms around his waist and lean your cheek against his chest, holding him tightly.

Surprised at the intensity of your confirmation, he chuckles as he hugs you back, swaying the two of you back and forth. You think you hear people aw in the distance, but you’re too focused on your sudden ability to breathe again. He’s so warm and he smells so nice and he’s…

“You’re… mine?”

Hugging you even closer, he chuckles again.

“Yeah. All yours,” he confirms, “Only yours.”

But it’s not what you expected, coming here. It’s too much, and you feel the dam burst and how quiet but very emotional tears wet your eyes. They flow and they just won’t stop.

He’s yours. 

“Are you crying?”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. 

Of course, you are. There is nothing describing the relief, the overwhelming happiness that courses through your body.

Jeongguk brushes your hair away from your face, and someone in the background cheers. Another person whistles, and so it starts. The clapping and cheering in that way that never actually happens. You hear voices approach, Wendy and Taehyung among a few others, and you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself.

“So… does Ken, like, come with the outfits?” you ask, leaning away and dabbing away a tear with the back of your hand.

Jeongguk looks at you, not understanding. “Huh?”

“Do you come with the outfits? I’d say they’ve gotta give you at least one as a ‘thank you’ present, right?”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen such a happy smile on Jeongguk’s face, and from your left, you hear Taehyung snicker.

“What?” you ask, because it’s a very reasonable request, actually.

“I’ll ask,” Jeongguk promises, an amused glint in his eye. “Which one?”

Though outfit after outfit and role after role flash before your eyes, a few immediately come to mind.

“The SWAT team member,” you say, and you ignore the way Taehyung laughs but you do swat a chuckling Wendy’s arm. “Oh. And the firefighter.”

What’s great about having stylist friends is that whatever makeup you cried off is retouched. Taehyung–talking with Namjoon–and his stylist keep you company while Wendy has gone off in search of a new eyeliner for you.

Meanwhile, you can’t help but watch Jeongguk as he makes his way through the crowd, thanking them for coming. He had to practically pry you off him, promising he’d be back, and you hope he hurries because you’re feeling very cold without him. A man gives him the typical man handshake before whistling like a bird, to which you definitely see Jeongguk roll his eyes.

“What’s with the bird thing?” you ask curiously, eyes following Jeongguk as he hugs his friends.

“Hm?” Taehyung grins, “You don’t know?”

Confused, you feel your forehead wrinkle. You can’t recall anything about porn having anything to do with birds.

 “No?”

“It’s an old joke in the business; I for sure thought you’d heard about it,” Taehyung explains, eyes watching you with amusement. “Jeongguk has fallen victim to the nesting death. It’s often what kills a male porn star; finding a woman and stepping down for her. He’s trying to build a new life, a new nest. For him and for you. Maybe collect some blue stones to court you in the process,” he laughs, nodding to the blue balloons. “Wendy let it slip, and so we wanted to make a little discreet brotherly fun of him.”

Jeongguk returns just as Wendy puts the cap back onto the eyeliner, deeming your makeup presentable once more. You smile at her, not sure who of you is happier at the moment. 

“Ready to go?” Jeongguk grins, his attention whole-heartedly on you. 

You bite your lip, nodding excitedly.

“Be safe. Tweet, tweet,” Taehyung smirks, backing up to avoid the swatting of Jeongguk’s fist.

“Idiot,” Jeongguk complains, rolling his eyes.

Then, he turns around, looking happily at you with his hand held out for you to grab. And you do.

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author's note: here it is, i hope you liked it!!