How I Think I Sound:

How I think I sound:

How I really sound:

Thorbruce headcanons

Hey! Sorry i’m such a werido for thorbruce, but here are some headcanons I thought of. Again, disregarding events or even whole things about the characters. Sorry for spelling mistakes & stuff.  

You are Thor & Loki’s little sister

You all are humans, not asgardians or anything.

imagine Thor & Bruce living across from you and Loki

You and Loki have been trying to set them up forever

One day Thor comes into your apartment and tells you he and Bruce drunkenly hooked up

They end up dating, and after a year Thor proposes

Bruce says yes, obvies.

After they tell the rest of the avengers, they aren’t as supportive as they should be

They’re really sad because these are like their best friends

But you and Loki promise you’ll always be there and kick their asses if you have to

And they’re really glad

It’s a small ceremony, not many people there

But it’s perfect, and Thor and Bruce continue living across the hall from you and Loki

Six months later, Thor and Bruce walk into your apartment, smiling like idiots and holding hands

You ask then what’s up, and they finally tell you after Loki walks in

Thor: “We’re adopting a kid!”

Thor: “well technically, we’re adopting a kid...”

Bruce: “times 3”

And you’re so exited because you’re gonna be an aunt! To three kids!!!

And Loki’s more like, are you guys ready for this? Have you thought it through? But he’s still so excited for Thor & Bruce

It turns out it’s going to be two boys and a girl.

And Thor and Bruce want you and Loki to name the girl

You two discuss it forever before deciding on ‘Casey’

When you tell Thor & Bruce, they love it so so so much.

They tell you the boys are going to be named Trevor & Dan.

The day the babies are delivered, you and Loki stay awake in the hospital for 72 hours waiting for them

But you’ve gone longer without sleeping than this.

And then when the babies are finally delivered, you go into the room with the mother whose giving away the babies

And they’re so cute and little

And Bruce may or may not have been crying a little

But it’s all happy and nice and you love holding Casey because you two are the only girls in the family.

It’s your assigned job to talk to her about her period

That’s not a joke

And Loki looks so calm and quiet holding Trevor

It looks so right for him.

When you bring them home, it results in so many sleepless nights

Thor and Bruce are so new at this because they’ve never been parents, much less to triplets.

So they’re always asking for help and you and Loki help without complain

You have so many different pictures of the triplets falling asleep on Thor, Bruce, or even Loki.

And they have too many of the triplets falling asleep on you while you’re trapped underneath them

And everyone’s sleep deprived but has never been more happy

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LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT

Your six pack

My six pack

Trouble in Paradise

HI, anyone who might see this! I wrote another oneshot (thorbruce). Hope you all enjoy!

Summary: Thor + Bruce are in relationships (Jane, Nat), but they aren’t completely happy.

Warnings: Cheating

Word count: 1668

“Banner!” Thor called out, catching the small scientist just before he went back into the lab, or as Tony called it, the Lair From Which Bruce Shall Not Return. Thor hadn’t seen Bruce in weeks. It wasn’t a matter of choice; there had been lots of missions in the past while, and Thor and Bruce were both now busy with their significant others. Bruce and Nat were officially together, and Thor and Jane were an obvious thing. Plus, Bruce had been on the edge of a ‘scientific breakthrough’, which were code words for ‘Bruce is having feelings he doesn’t like and is trying to hide’. Or it really was a scientific breakthrough and a robber had come in and stolen all of their ice cream.

“Hey, Thor.” Bruce mumbled before slipping back in to the lab and started to shut the door. He would’ve succeeded if Thor hadn’t shoved himself into the crack between the door and the wall, trying to have a decent conversation with the man.

“Owww.” Thor groaned as Bruce tried to shut the door, not realizing the norse god was in the way. Thor was wearing his armour, as usual, so some of the pain was taken away.

“Oh, jeez, sorry Thor. By any chance, did you want to talk?” Bruce said, a small smile on his lips.

“Yes, I did want to talk! How did you know?” Thor asked.

“Just a hunch. Come on in.” Bruce said, turning away to go towards the lab table. He went right back to his research, forgetting about his visitor.

“So, Banner! What are you working on?” Thor asked, going to the table and resting his hands on Bruce’s papers, making a couple of them slide out of the pile and onto the floor.

“I’m, uh, working on some stuff with radiation, you know, thermal, uh, diffusional restitutions- THOR!” Bruce said, getting slightly angry at Thor. The giant had knocked over some tubes with his hands, making bruce jog over to make sure nothing spilled on the floor.

“Many apologies, Banner, I-“

“Maybe just go stand in the middle of the room.” Bruce said, a little agitated.

“Alright then. I am sorry I meddled with your papers and tubes.” Thor said apologetically.

“No, it’s not your fault, I’m a scatterbrain right now and I’m kind of stressed, so the littlest things are pissing me off.” Bruce said, double checking his papers were in order. He then made his way back to the beakers to fix that problem.

“Ah. You should come out for a change! I believe Tony has a team bonding game going on.” Thor suggested.

“Um, not really in the mood.”

“I understand.”

There was an awkward silence after this remark, neither Thor nor Bruce thinking of a subject that wouldn’t offend anybody. Bruce finally broke it.

“So, how’s Jane? Haven’t seen her around in awhile.”

“Oh, Jane is good.” Thor said, sighing a little and looking towards the ceiling.

“Oh? Trouble in paradise?” Bruce asked cheekily.

“Tony used that exact expression! What does it mean? What paradise? I am not in paradise. What troubles? Did I do something wrong that affected a paradise?”

“Tony used it? Agh, he must be rubbing off on me.” Bruce chuckled. “To answer your questions, trouble in paradise is basically a shorter way of saying ‘oh, everything’s not perfect? I had no idea!’ Like, sarcastically.”

“Oh, so you’re saying my relationship with Jane is doubted by everybody, and they are using their midgardian terms to get around saying it to my face.” Thor answered.

“Uhm…” Bruce stuttered, looking around like he was trying to find a way out of this situation. “Guess you’ve got me there.”

“Well, they’re not completely wrong…” Thor said, a little quieter. Bruce gave him a look of empathy and confusion. “I just feel Jane is getting less enthusiastic to see me, and more like she thinks it is a chore I have to complete.” Thor finished, looking at the ground now.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry.” Bruce said sympathetically.

“It’s not important. How is Natasha?” Thor asked, avoiding the subject.

“Oh, um. Yeah. She’s… good. As good as an assassin can be, I guess.” Bruce said, turning back to his work.

“No, don’t do that.” Thor said, gesturing to Bruce.

“What?” Bruce asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Turn back towards your work. It means you are avoiding the subject.” Thor objected.

“Ok then.” Bruce said, facing towards Thor. “But this doesn’t mean I’m going to talk.

This remark was followed by a few minutes of awkward silence. Bruce knew in his head that Thor was just waiting for him to burst. Finally, he did.

“I just don’t know if I like Nat.” Bruce sighed.

“Wait, you do not like her? Not even as a friend?” Thor asked, looking quizzically at Bruce.

“No, I just don’t know if I want to, you know, go out with her.” Bruce said, looking at the ground. “Dammit it’s hard to avoid the subject when you’re facing the person!”

“Wait, what is wrong with Nat?”

“It’s not Nat, I just might… like someone else.” Bruce whispered, starting to turn back to his work.

“Who?” Thor asked. Bruce mumbled out an incoherent answer and looked away, not making eye contact with Thor.

“Pardon?” Thor said.

“No… one. That I could ever tell, at least.” Bruce responded, looking at Thor’s armour a little more than what would be considered friend-like.

“Are you sure?” Thor asked, walking back up to Bruce until he was so close Bruce could touch him if he extended his arm almost fully. Thor had his held tilted just a little, so he looked so innocent, so cute.

“Not… really.” Bruce breathed, biting his lip as he looked at Thor’s hair. Thor raised one eyebrow a little. “I mean, what if he... doesn’t like me back?”

“If you’re talking about who I think you might be, I do not think you have any problems.” Thor said, stepping a little closer.

“Thor…” Bruce started.

“Yes, Banner?” Thor asked calmly. He had moved so close to him that Bruce could feel Thor’s breath on his face as he looked up.

“I- you’re really- please-“

“Shall I put you out of your misery?” Thor joked, smiling a little.

“Yes, please, Thor.” Bruce responded. That was all it took for Thor to move the rest of the way so he was right up against Bruce. He took Bruce’s face in his hands and bent down, bringing Bruce up just enough for their mouths to meet. It took less than a second for Bruce to start kissing Thor back, hands making their way up to wrap around Thor’s neck as Thor’s hands slid down to hold Bruce’s sides. Thor pulled Bruce impossibly close to his body. The kiss only deepened when Thor felt Bruce’s tongue swipe against his lips. He let it in without a fight, eager for whatever Bruce had to offer. They stayed like this for a minute or two, until they had to pull away. Bruce was staring at Thor like a deer in the headlights, arms still around his neck.

“T-Thor, I don’t think… I mean I really want…” Bruce exhaled. “What about Jane and Nat?”

“I don’t know, Bruce.” Thor said, putting his forehead against Bruce’s. Bruce closed his eyes, enjoying one last moment before they had to face reality. “What do you want to do?”

“How do you mean?” Bruce asked, opening his eyes to look into Thor’s. Those big, blue eyes, as bright as the sky on a cloudless day.

“I mean, do we tell Jane and Nat? Do we pretend it never happened? Do we stay together and not tell Jane and Nat? Do we break up with them?” Thor began. Bruce wanted so bad just to go on with life, pretend he hadn’t finally gotten the man he always wanted, keep settling for Nat. But there was this literal god in front of him who had kissed him. It made Bruce want to reach for the stars, in a way.

“I think for now, we just…” Bruce started, moving his hands up to play with Thor’s hair. “Just… stay like this. For the immediate future, at least.”

Thor grinned a little, eyes gleaming with hope. “So can I kiss you again?” He asked, bending down so their noses touched gently.

“God yes.” Within half a second they were back at it, tongues sliding through their mouths, handing moving around, trying to claim the other body as their own. After a little bit of this bliss, Thor pulled back, picking Bruce up and setting him on the table. Bruce was surprised, but he rather enjoyed this turn of events. It was so much more than the empty kisses Nat gave him. Those felt robotic, unwanted. These felt passionate and full.  He cupped Thor’s head again, hands running though his hair, begging for more. Thor responded by going downwards to suck on Bruce’s neck. Bruce moaned a little, spurring Thor on. Eventually, Bruce pulled Thor’s head back up, demanding attention from his lips. He brought Thor into another kiss, wishing the moment would never end. Eventually, he needed a breath, so he pulled away, settling for capturing Thor’s bottom lip in his teeth. Thor gave him a cheeky smile and returned to his work on Bruce’s neck.

“Are you enjoying this as much as I am?” Bruce asked, making Thor look up at him.

“You underestimate yourself, Bruce. If Nat hasn’t gotten that habit out of you, then I guess I will just have to.” Thor said, smiling devilishly. He leaned back into Bruce, kissing him soundly, not aware about the presence in the doorway.

Clint’s eyebrows went up in shock as Bruce curled his legs around Thor’s waist. “Ohhh boy.” He whispered, because he probably couldn’t say anything above a whisper right now. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and his arms rested frozen at his side. “I’d like to seem them explain this.”

Spider-man: Hey what do you want to do? Deadpool: I don’t know, let’s go out and about. Spider-man: HAHAHAHAHAHA you sound like a Canadian or something! Deadpool: *Looks at camera like he’s on The Office*

Thor, trying to confuse people by acting like he’s a robot trying to be a human: see, I consume food in the human way

Thor: *grabs orange and presses it to his face until it squashes*

Thor: *pats belly* Yum Yum Good

The people: *horrified silence*

Bruce Banner, a Tired™ boyfriend: Sorry, he’s just being weird, haha, bye forever.