How I Think I Sound:

How I think I sound:

How I really sound:

I found a letter recently that I wrote to myself 2 years ago. It said, and I quote:

- don’t be afraid to be differrent

- learn how to spell differennt

- differrennt

- diferent

- diffeerrent

Death Brings Us Closer

Hey!!! This is the first fic i’ve ever posted, so it’s kind of nerve-wracking. It’s a peter parker x reader fic, and i tried to be gender-neutral. Also it’s disregarding a ton of events in the movies... If anyone sees this, positive comments are encouraged :)

Warning: Swearing & near-death experience ( i don’t dive into that)

Summary: You’re recovering from a near-death experience with the avengers.

You jumped. It seemed uncalled for, but this was your personality. You were always bullied in college, but this was extreme. A group of kids, boys & girls alike had chased you up onto the roof of the Mettely dorms. The dusty ground was hard to get your fitting on, but they had pursued you up there with no problems. Now, they were backing into you. The main problem was that this roof had no barrier, so one wrong move and you would be flying down a 10-story drop. Might as well just kill yourself now. You gulped hard as you glanced behind you. The edge of the building was less than 2 feet away, and the people were still coming towards you. You needed a plan, and now.

“What, you afraid of heights?” The guy you assumed was the leader said. He had a smug look on his face.

The thing is, you were a spiteful person. If someone said you couldn’t do something, you went right ahead and did it, not caring whether you would get hurt or die. That was mainly the reason you’d reputation was so bad.

“You can’t survive that jump! Nobody can! So why don’t you just surrender now?” The rest of the people nodded & smirked, agreeing with the guy.

Like an idiot, you went “No one can survive it, huh? Then I’ll be the first!”

You jumped off the roof. Big mistake. The ground was cement under you. Nothing to break you fall. Your life flashed before your eyes. You didn’t think it would end at the age of 19. As your head hit the cement, you heard gasps had shouts from everyone around you. All you could feel was a throbbing pain in your lungs and your head. Well this is what death feels like, you thought. It was the last thing you thought before you blacked out, barely breathing. You didn’t hear a person trying to talk to you, you didn’t feel him pick you up, you didn’t see his car that he rushed you in to get you to the safest place he knew, where some of the best doctors were.

He didn’t know if you were alive anymore.

When you woke up, you could hear people discussing something about someone. Your head was throbbing and it felt like there was an elephant sitting on your stomach. You opens you eyes to see 5 different people who you had never met in your life standing over you. Wait, you may have seen two of them before, but right now, you believed everything and nothing.

“Hurgruphungf” you said trying to get up. You were quickly pushed back down by a boy.

“Where.... what... who...??” You mange to stutter out.

“Oh, you’re up. I can’t believe you’re alive. That was a pretty bad fall. What were you doing jumping off a 10-story building, anyway? Are you suicidal? That’s rough. Anyway, based on the diagnosis and some of the treatments...” You cut the boy off by covering his mouth with your hand, which had a metric ton of tubes taped to it.

“Who. The fuck. Are you.” You said, making it clear that there was no messing about with you.

“Ah, you probably don’t know me. We go to the same university, NYU? I’m in second year, and I think you’re in first? Do I have that right? Anyway, I’m Peter, and this is Bruce, Shuri, Dad, and Dr. Dad. Also known and Tony and Stephen.”

“Ah, yes, knowing there names. That makes me understand why I’m in a hospital bed and my head really hurts and I’m surrounded by a bunch of fucking geniuses!!!” You snapped back. It was just your nature in times like this that you got really sarcastic & snarky.

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t remember. You jumped off the Mettely dorms roof? Possibly because you’re suicidal? I think? I mean you might not be, but, I-“ Peter was babbling, so you decided to help him by slapping your have over his mouth again.

“I’m not suicidal, those people were backing me into the edge of the roof and there was no barrier so I was going to fall. They’re these bullies and I’ve been their target since the first day I got to university but they never went so far as to almost push me off a building. Then one of them said I couldn’t jump off the side of the building so I had to prove them wrong, right? So I jumped off to show them I could survive and now I’m here.” You stopped to take a breath. By now everyone in the room was staring at you. Even the Bruce guy had stopped checking your vitals to stare at you. Peter gently removed your head from his face and asked,

“So you’re not suicidal?”

“Yeah.” You replied. You had decided that you liked him. For now. As long as he didn’t do anything idiotic or mean.  

“Good to know.” He said.

Then, the guy named Tony started taking about your injuries and what they needed to do. It bored you after about 30 seconds, and Peter noticed this and caught your eye, giving you a thumbs up. You gave him a small smile.

“Got it?” Tony concluded.

“Um, yeah, as long as there are no amputations and I can walk and stuff after.” You said, trying not to make it obvious you weren’t listening.

“No, no amputations. There will be surgery, though, and it will take about a year to recover.” The Stephen guy said. He looked like a wizard or something, with those clearly defined cheekbones.

“A fucking year??” You asked dubiously.

“Yes.” Stephen responded.

“Do you have a plan for keeping up with schoolwork?” Shuri asked.

“I don’t even have a ‘pla’” you respond. Peter gives a small laugh at your friends quote.

“Alright, we’re gonna have to put your under for this. Peter, out.” Bruce said, getting down to business.

“But I-“

“Out, Peter!”

“Hmph.”

—————————

After you had woken up, it was revealed that you had been asleep for a day and a half. Much longer than they had expected. But you were alive, and the surgery was a success. It left you feeling like shit.

Peter came to visit you with this really, really tall guy who didn’t look human. He was blonde with one blue and one brown-ish colour. He was wearing armour, which was weird because it didn’t seem like there was a fight going on. Also, he had a huge hammer. Were they planning to just kill you now?

“Hey, you’re up! I just wanted to check. This is my friend, Thor. Thor, this is... I actually don’t think I know your name! Weird. What is it?”

“It’s y/n.”

“Ah. Well, Thor, this is y/n.”

“Greetings, midgardian! I am Thor, god of thunder, king of Asgard.”

“Well, I’m y/n, the biggest idiot you’ll ever meet, who lives their life out of spite.”

Peter laughed a little at this. He seemed to like your sense of humour, which is a good sign.

“I am very unfamiliar with midgardian culture. Anything I should know?” Thor asked eagerly.

“Yes. Live by this word, which is ‘being in a total state of awareness’. The word is: Unagi.” You said, doing the hand motion with your first two fingers like a gun next to your eyeball. Thor gave you a confused look, but nodded along. Peter was laughing really hard, by was trying to hide it.

“Also, the best pickup line is ‘how you doin’?” Peter added on.

“I see.” Thor said, intrigued.

“What’re you guys telling him?” Bruce said, walking in to check on you to or like the ninth time today.

“Unagi.” You said, doing the hand motion.

“And ‘how you doin’?’” Peter said.

Bruce facepalmed. “Don’t listen to them. They’re trying to mess with you.”

“I am confused.” Thor said.

“Alright, you two need to get out so y/n can rest.” Bruce said, ending the conversation.

“Bye, y/n. By the way, I’m spider-man.” Peter said as he left.  

“Wait, what? You’re joking, right?” You said. Peter just smiled and left the room with Thor.

“He’s spider-man?” You ask Bruce, hoping that he was joking.

“Yeah, I guess you should know, since you’re gonna be here for awhile. He’s spider-man, I’m the hulk, Tony’s iron man and Stephen’s the sorcerer supreme. Cool, right?” Bruce said nonchalantly.

“Um, yeah. That’s kind of a big deal! I mean like I’m surrounded by avengers & stuff... like. Wow.” You said, slightly shocked.

“Do you wanna lift your arm?” Bruce asked. You knew the question was rhetorical, but you took the opportunity anyway.

“Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” You said, quoting friends again.

“You’re just like a friends quote machine, aren’t you?”

“Yyyyep!”

“So anyway, what’s going on for you?” Bruce asked.

“Well, I’m in a hospital bed surrounded by avengers, so that happens. You?”

Bruce sighed. “I’m trying to find a way to ask Thor out, but I don’t know how.”

“I’m not great with advice, but can I interest you with a sarcastic comment?”

Bruce have you a dirty look.

“Fine, I’ll stop.” You said.

“Really?”

“No.”

“Ok, well. I really like him, but he’s dated girls in the past and he might not be gay and I don’t want to ruin our really close friendship, y’know?”

“Yeah, that’s a tough situation. If he doesn’t like you than this is all a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter. It’s moo.” You replies, hoping he wouldn’t choke the life out of you. Bruce laughed a little and went back to checking you.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad here.

—————————

“Come on! A horse would totally win in a fight with a cow!” You laughed, debating with Peter. You two had gotten really close over the past year. You had even gotten to go on a vacation with the avengers. Your life had pretty much gone back to normal. You had your own room in the avengers tower, because Bruce, Shuri, Tony and Stephen wanted to make sure you were ok. You would be leaving in a week, and it was sad to think you had to leave these people who’d basically become your family behind. It felt wrong. But they didn’t want you here, right? They were just being nice & caring for you. Yeah. It’s right to leave.

“Hey, you know Thor & Bruce went on a date?” Peter said.

“They didn’t!”

“They did! They’re a thing now!”

“Oh my god!”

“I know!”

“Ah, i’m gonna miss this.” You said kind of sadly.

“Yeah. Why do you have to go?” Peter pouted.

“It’s not helpful for me to stay here! I’m just a thorn in your guys’ side.”

Peter gave you a disappointed look. Over the course of the year, he had fallen in love with you. He tried really hard to repress it, but he just loved everything about you and it broke his heart that you had to go. You would see each other on campus, but it wasn’t the same. The worst part is you were totally oblivious to it.

“Do you ever have bad days?” Peter asked.

“Sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have. Hey, I have an idea for a trick we can play on Thor.” You said, a mischievous smile on your face.

“Do you wanna get Loki to help?”

“Yes. Trust me, it’ll be great.”

—————————

A week later, it was the day of your departure. By 9:00 am, you had gotten all of your stuff together. It was only a backpack of clothes, because that’s all you really needed when you were there. The avengers supplied the rest. You went to the living room where most of the avengers were to say goodbye.

“Hey, guys. Just wanted to say bye before I leave.”

Stephen and a couple other people stood up and walked over to talk to you.

“You sure have made a fast recovery for someone who almost died a year ago.” Tony joked. He was practically hanging off Stephen’s side.

“Yeah. Well. You know how it is.” You said.

“I’m going to miss all your friends quotes.” Bruce said. You knew this was genuine. You two were also pretty close.

“Could I recommend watching a little more ‘ESPN’ and a little less ‘E.’?” You knew it would make Bruce laugh.

After all the other goodbyes were done, Peter came in to say goodbye. You were going to miss that asshole so much. He came in and you and him stood in front of the elevator facing each other.

“Bye, Peter.” You practically whispered. You were forcing yourself not to cry. Instead of responding, he stepped towards you, put your head in his hands, and kissed you.

It was slow and nice, soft but still firm. You were standing there in shock for a few seconds. You had never really felt love for Peter, but as he kissed you you could feel yourself fall in love with him. It didn’t take you long to relax and start kissing him back, hands moving to his waist to pull him even closer. You had both totally forgotten that every single avenger was standing right there. When you both finally pulled back, staring at each other for what seemed like eternity. His eyes were so chocolaty brown. How had you never noticed that? He gave out a little nervous laugh, surprised you had kissed him back. The moment ended when Bruce cleared his through to draw to your attention that everyone was staring at you. You glanced to them, then Peter. Everyone was quiet for a few minutes. Even Tony had no snarky or sarcastic comment to make. That’s a first.

“Um... hey, guys....” Peter stutters out. It just makes the tension in the room grow.

“Please tell me the rest of you guys just say Peter & y/n kiss.” Nat said.

You gave everyone a half smile and turned your head back to Peter.

“You should stay here.” He whispered, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Maybe I will.” You said, smiling like an idiot.

“He’s their lobster!” Bruce whispered, just loud enough so you & Peter could hear.

You smiled at the reference he made.

And you didn’t contradict him.

--------

THIS IS LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

My mom: What’re you thinking about?

Me: *thinks about thorbruce, ironstrange, stucky, my misunderstood boi Loki, while continually praising marvel and hoping it burns to ashes*

Me: Nothing. 

Trouble in Paradise

HI, anyone who might see this! I wrote another oneshot (thorbruce). Hope you all enjoy!

Summary: Thor + Bruce are in relationships (Jane, Nat), but they aren’t completely happy.

Warnings: Cheating

Word count: 1668

“Banner!” Thor called out, catching the small scientist just before he went back into the lab, or as Tony called it, the Lair From Which Bruce Shall Not Return. Thor hadn’t seen Bruce in weeks. It wasn’t a matter of choice; there had been lots of missions in the past while, and Thor and Bruce were both now busy with their significant others. Bruce and Nat were officially together, and Thor and Jane were an obvious thing. Plus, Bruce had been on the edge of a ‘scientific breakthrough’, which were code words for ‘Bruce is having feelings he doesn’t like and is trying to hide’. Or it really was a scientific breakthrough and a robber had come in and stolen all of their ice cream.

“Hey, Thor.” Bruce mumbled before slipping back in to the lab and started to shut the door. He would’ve succeeded if Thor hadn’t shoved himself into the crack between the door and the wall, trying to have a decent conversation with the man.

“Owww.” Thor groaned as Bruce tried to shut the door, not realizing the norse god was in the way. Thor was wearing his armour, as usual, so some of the pain was taken away.

“Oh, jeez, sorry Thor. By any chance, did you want to talk?” Bruce said, a small smile on his lips.

“Yes, I did want to talk! How did you know?” Thor asked.

“Just a hunch. Come on in.” Bruce said, turning away to go towards the lab table. He went right back to his research, forgetting about his visitor.

“So, Banner! What are you working on?” Thor asked, going to the table and resting his hands on Bruce’s papers, making a couple of them slide out of the pile and onto the floor.

“I’m, uh, working on some stuff with radiation, you know, thermal, uh, diffusional restitutions- THOR!” Bruce said, getting slightly angry at Thor. The giant had knocked over some tubes with his hands, making bruce jog over to make sure nothing spilled on the floor.

“Many apologies, Banner, I-“

“Maybe just go stand in the middle of the room.” Bruce said, a little agitated.

“Alright then. I am sorry I meddled with your papers and tubes.” Thor said apologetically.

“No, it’s not your fault, I’m a scatterbrain right now and I’m kind of stressed, so the littlest things are pissing me off.” Bruce said, double checking his papers were in order. He then made his way back to the beakers to fix that problem.

“Ah. You should come out for a change! I believe Tony has a team bonding game going on.” Thor suggested.

“Um, not really in the mood.”

“I understand.”

There was an awkward silence after this remark, neither Thor nor Bruce thinking of a subject that wouldn’t offend anybody. Bruce finally broke it.

“So, how’s Jane? Haven’t seen her around in awhile.”

“Oh, Jane is good.” Thor said, sighing a little and looking towards the ceiling.

“Oh? Trouble in paradise?” Bruce asked cheekily.

“Tony used that exact expression! What does it mean? What paradise? I am not in paradise. What troubles? Did I do something wrong that affected a paradise?”

“Tony used it? Agh, he must be rubbing off on me.” Bruce chuckled. “To answer your questions, trouble in paradise is basically a shorter way of saying ‘oh, everything’s not perfect? I had no idea!’ Like, sarcastically.”

“Oh, so you’re saying my relationship with Jane is doubted by everybody, and they are using their midgardian terms to get around saying it to my face.” Thor answered.

“Uhm…” Bruce stuttered, looking around like he was trying to find a way out of this situation. “Guess you’ve got me there.”

“Well, they’re not completely wrong…” Thor said, a little quieter. Bruce gave him a look of empathy and confusion. “I just feel Jane is getting less enthusiastic to see me, and more like she thinks it is a chore I have to complete.” Thor finished, looking at the ground now.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry.” Bruce said sympathetically.

“It’s not important. How is Natasha?” Thor asked, avoiding the subject.

“Oh, um. Yeah. She’s… good. As good as an assassin can be, I guess.” Bruce said, turning back to his work.

“No, don’t do that.” Thor said, gesturing to Bruce.

“What?” Bruce asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Turn back towards your work. It means you are avoiding the subject.” Thor objected.

“Ok then.” Bruce said, facing towards Thor. “But this doesn’t mean I’m going to talk.

This remark was followed by a few minutes of awkward silence. Bruce knew in his head that Thor was just waiting for him to burst. Finally, he did.

“I just don’t know if I like Nat.” Bruce sighed.

“Wait, you do not like her? Not even as a friend?” Thor asked, looking quizzically at Bruce.

“No, I just don’t know if I want to, you know, go out with her.” Bruce said, looking at the ground. “Dammit it’s hard to avoid the subject when you’re facing the person!”

“Wait, what is wrong with Nat?”

“It’s not Nat, I just might… like someone else.” Bruce whispered, starting to turn back to his work.

“Who?” Thor asked. Bruce mumbled out an incoherent answer and looked away, not making eye contact with Thor.

“Pardon?” Thor said.

“No… one. That I could ever tell, at least.” Bruce responded, looking at Thor’s armour a little more than what would be considered friend-like.

“Are you sure?” Thor asked, walking back up to Bruce until he was so close Bruce could touch him if he extended his arm almost fully. Thor had his held tilted just a little, so he looked so innocent, so cute.

“Not… really.” Bruce breathed, biting his lip as he looked at Thor’s hair. Thor raised one eyebrow a little. “I mean, what if he... doesn’t like me back?”

“If you’re talking about who I think you might be, I do not think you have any problems.” Thor said, stepping a little closer.

“Thor…” Bruce started.

“Yes, Banner?” Thor asked calmly. He had moved so close to him that Bruce could feel Thor’s breath on his face as he looked up.

“I- you’re really- please-“

“Shall I put you out of your misery?” Thor joked, smiling a little.

“Yes, please, Thor.” Bruce responded. That was all it took for Thor to move the rest of the way so he was right up against Bruce. He took Bruce’s face in his hands and bent down, bringing Bruce up just enough for their mouths to meet. It took less than a second for Bruce to start kissing Thor back, hands making their way up to wrap around Thor’s neck as Thor’s hands slid down to hold Bruce’s sides. Thor pulled Bruce impossibly close to his body. The kiss only deepened when Thor felt Bruce’s tongue swipe against his lips. He let it in without a fight, eager for whatever Bruce had to offer. They stayed like this for a minute or two, until they had to pull away. Bruce was staring at Thor like a deer in the headlights, arms still around his neck.

“T-Thor, I don’t think… I mean I really want…” Bruce exhaled. “What about Jane and Nat?”

“I don’t know, Bruce.” Thor said, putting his forehead against Bruce’s. Bruce closed his eyes, enjoying one last moment before they had to face reality. “What do you want to do?”

“How do you mean?” Bruce asked, opening his eyes to look into Thor’s. Those big, blue eyes, as bright as the sky on a cloudless day.

“I mean, do we tell Jane and Nat? Do we pretend it never happened? Do we stay together and not tell Jane and Nat? Do we break up with them?” Thor began. Bruce wanted so bad just to go on with life, pretend he hadn’t finally gotten the man he always wanted, keep settling for Nat. But there was this literal god in front of him who had kissed him. It made Bruce want to reach for the stars, in a way.

“I think for now, we just…” Bruce started, moving his hands up to play with Thor’s hair. “Just… stay like this. For the immediate future, at least.”

Thor grinned a little, eyes gleaming with hope. “So can I kiss you again?” He asked, bending down so their noses touched gently.

“God yes.” Within half a second they were back at it, tongues sliding through their mouths, handing moving around, trying to claim the other body as their own. After a little bit of this bliss, Thor pulled back, picking Bruce up and setting him on the table. Bruce was surprised, but he rather enjoyed this turn of events. It was so much more than the empty kisses Nat gave him. Those felt robotic, unwanted. These felt passionate and full.  He cupped Thor’s head again, hands running though his hair, begging for more. Thor responded by going downwards to suck on Bruce’s neck. Bruce moaned a little, spurring Thor on. Eventually, Bruce pulled Thor’s head back up, demanding attention from his lips. He brought Thor into another kiss, wishing the moment would never end. Eventually, he needed a breath, so he pulled away, settling for capturing Thor’s bottom lip in his teeth. Thor gave him a cheeky smile and returned to his work on Bruce’s neck.

“Are you enjoying this as much as I am?” Bruce asked, making Thor look up at him.

“You underestimate yourself, Bruce. If Nat hasn’t gotten that habit out of you, then I guess I will just have to.” Thor said, smiling devilishly. He leaned back into Bruce, kissing him soundly, not aware about the presence in the doorway.

Clint’s eyebrows went up in shock as Bruce curled his legs around Thor’s waist. “Ohhh boy.” He whispered, because he probably couldn’t say anything above a whisper right now. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and his arms rested frozen at his side. “I’d like to seem them explain this.”

Thor, trying to confuse people by acting like he’s a robot trying to be a human: see, I consume food in the human way

Thor: *grabs orange and presses it to his face until it squashes*

Thor: *pats belly* Yum Yum Good

The people: *horrified silence*

Bruce Banner, a Tired™ boyfriend: Sorry, he’s just being weird, haha, bye forever.