OK OK OK But In Re: This AUI Wrote About This Morning.

OK OK OK but in re: this AU I wrote about this morning. 

Imagine: Vader, an idiot, exchanges letters with this mysterious person (who is obviously Obi-Wan) for like, years. Obi-Wan, of course, is a lonely hermit at this time, and Full of Regrets About Things Left Unsaid, and figures A) Anakin is probably never going to figure out who he is anyways, B) no one’s ever going to read these stupid letters, and so C) even though Romance and being extremely over the top about feelings about whatnot is not really Obi-Wan’s jam, damnit, he’s not going to leave anything else unsaid. (He also maybe subconsciously hopes that maybe there’s still a way for him to get through to Anakin.)

So he writes letters. Letters that are flowery as hell and increasingly deeply romantic and eventually include tasteful and yet extremely erotic descriptions of Making Love. Anakin, on the other end of the damn universe, IS A PILE OF GOO. Who IS this person, and why does he seem to know how to push EVERY BUTTON ANAKIN HAS??? It’s almost like this person can read his mind, or that they’ve met in another life! (Anakin is, naturally, still preoccupied with trying to raise Padme from the dead during all of this, but he figures when he succeeds at that, he and Padme can go find this mystery boyfriend of his and they can all live happily ever after.) 

And then one day, out of nowhere, the letters stop. And Anakin is distraught. Did something happen to his beloved? Surely he couldn’t have been on Alderaan somehow, right?! And on top of dealing with all of this, Obi-Wan’s dead now, and he’s got some complicated feelings about that, too. He sinks even further into the Dark Side, now convinced he’ll never be happy again. 

And then eventually of course Luke saves the day, and then Anakin saves the day, and then Anakin gets to be a ghost, and there’s Obi-Wan again. 

(Obi-Wan probably greets him with a few select lines from – in his opinion – one of his better sonnets. Anakin damn near faints, and Obi-Wan tries not to die a second time laughing that Anakin literally NEVER FIGURED OUT IT WAS HIM WRITING THE LETTERS ALL THOSE YEARS. Then there’s probably a lot of making out. The End.)

-Sleeping in the Forrest- 

“i went to the forest to bathe my soul”

A lot of deep sea creatures are coloured red, but since the colour blends in so well with dark water it just ends up looking black or dark blue. 

In short, combined with the horn-like crown, submerged home, and pitchfork/trident, Poseidon is just another name for the Devil.

Some fun pureblood biology headcanons: - Force Lightning users sometimes get staticky when they’re excited or angry - Those little ridges are vestigial fins used to regulate temperature during the hot summers that used to occur on prehistoric Korriban. They get the Sith equivalent of “goosebumps” when their ridges flare up in the heat - Sith babies purr when they are content. For adults it is less common and seen as immature, but to most aliens it’s ridiculously cute - Sith have two livers and as a result can drink most other species under the table - Forked tongues are rare but seen as attractive. Some eccentrics undergo surgery to get the “perfect split” - Sith have a tapetum lucidum (reflective animal eye). Some Sith don’t like taking pictures with the flash enabled for this reason. - Some less common sugars have a mild hallucinogenic effect on Sith. It’s sometimes known as a “sugar rush”, but it differs from the human definition. - Sith have semi-retractable “claws”. However, they can typically only extend them a few millimeters. - Sith are basically lizard cats - Knocking things off of desks and licking random bugs are common impulses - Hate Water So Muhchhhch…..it bad

Gallows Humour

Humans are Space Orcs writing prompt.

“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.” ― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

The darker, more dangerous, and dire, the situation, the more likely you are to have a human being making a joke, in bad taste, about it. 

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” ― Steve Martin

It’s called Gallows Humour and is a psychological coping mechanism for coping with the dire situation, especially when you think, or feel, you’re about to die.  “The ego refuses to be distressed by the provocations of reality, to let itself be compelled to suffer. It insists that it cannot be affected by the traumas of the external world.” - Sigmund Freud.

In addition to relieving stress, gallows humour has the added social benefit of boosting morale and camaraderie. It also undermines the confidence of the enemy. If you are in a foxhole being bombed by artillery and the enemy hears you laughing or singing songs, well, they realize they’re not doing a very good job of killing you, or at the very least, making you pants-peeing terrified.

At his public execution, the murderer William Palmer is said to have looked at the trapdoor on the gallows and asked the hangman, “Are you sure it’s safe?”

Imagine the reactions of aliens who see humans in a life or death situation, or actually about to die because of execution or injury, yet we’re cracking bad jokes or singing ironic songs, like “Always Look on The Bright Side of Life” by Monty Python.

To them, we’re either insane or unshakable. Or both. 

“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” –Oscar Wilde

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