Story Talk: Petals

Story Talk: Petals

This is a story talk for my most recent fic, Petals! Hope you enjoyed! :) PLEASE read the italicized parts! These are real meaty parts of my story talk.

Ok, wow. Sorry to everyone who read that story…

So when I sat down and wrote this fic, I think it took me about…3 hours? And I initially started it with Yoongi as Hoseok’s part months ago but I decided to scrap that and change it to Hoseok because I felt that his happy image would fit better with the angst and the sad undertones. 

And damn did it get angsty.

Usually, when I write these short ones (it was intended to be a 1-2k) I don’t storyboard at all and just let my writing go and I don’t stop until I’m finished. That’s sort of how I crank out these drabble game oneshots. No planning, no stopping. But somewhere along the way, I realized there was so, so much more I could do with this au and I just kept writing and writing. 

When I read other hanahaki disease aus, they were so angsty. And I loved it. This au is seriously strictly designed for the genre of angst, obviously, with the undertones of unrequited love and literally life-threatening diseases as the main part of the catch. But as an angst loving bitch, I read that and thought, hm what are some other ways to put this au? 

And so obviously I wrote an au in which the surgery doesn’t work haha. 

Basically, Y/N loves Hoseok, Hoseok liked her a bit too but ended up falling in love with Jiyeon, hence the five years of Y/N’s petals (and those four years in the beginning weren’t without petals because it was “just a small crush.”

Because petals are supposed to be for unrequited/unreturned love. Everyone told Y/N that the first four years were because it wasn’t love yet, but actually, it was love. Just not unrequited. Meaning, Hoseok did actually love Y/N for the first 4 years, which saved her from throwing up those petals until later when he gets with Jiyeon instead. Does that make sense?)

But when he realizes Y/N actually loved him for nine years, his love for Jiyeon is too shaky and his love shifts, which explains why Jiyeon throws up. At this point, let me point out that Y/N’s no longer throwing up because her love is now requited, so she is now really healed of the disease. But not in the way that she planned.

And then the story ends with Jeongguk realizing that he’s been in love with Y/N for a while too, and he coughs up his first petal, rendering him as the second person to have the surgery go wrong. 

It’s a MESS I know, but that’s what love is like, isn’t it? It’s a mess because if Hoseok and Y/N had just gotten together in the first four years, in that long span, then y/n would’ve never had the disease in the first place, then Hoseok would’ve never had strung Jiyeon along, and Jeongguk would have never fallen in love with Y/N. 

Or would they? Would fate still have somehow led Jiyeon and Jeongguk to throw up petals anyway as they watched Hoseok and Y/N fall in love? Would Jiyeon still have loved Hoseok, since they were in the same dance group anyways? Would Jeongguk not have gotten the surgery for the first girl he fell in love with because his heart had already moved onto Y/N by the time he would’ve realized his love was forever unrequited by a girl who died in an accident? 

Those are questions to really get you thinking >:) 

Use of lotus flower: Love is unpredictably, undeniably messy, but it’s exactly like the lotus flower. Innocent, pure, and dedicated. Apparently the pure white lotus is an extremely rare flower and symbolizes just those qualities so I chose it as the motif of the story. But sometimes, it can be cruelly innocent, stubbornly pure amongst the mess that it creates, and dedicated even when the bearer doesn’t want it to be anymore. 

Also, I’d like to explain my petal choice for Jiyeon. The Hanahaki disease au also fails to specify how deep a love has to be in order to work. As we can tell, Hoseok’s love for Jiyeon was deep, but shaky enough to be switched to Y/N in a matter of minutes. We can’t deny he loved Jiyeon, but what separates his “love” for Y/N (in which he tells her he really loves her as a friend) from his love for Jiyeon? The problem with the whole unrequited love part of the au is that it never specifies whether it could be love love, like love for a significant other, or friendship love. So I made sure to reiterate that what separated Jiyeon and Y/N was the love for a s/o and a friend. But when it shifts, Jiyeon barfs rose petals, which is a symbol of love, but an overused and sometimes cheap version of it. It’s lost its meaning because of all the overuse and so, when Hoseok’s love for Jiyeon is revealed to be shaky and not at all dedicated as we thought it would be, Jiyeon barfs red roses. 

Just sayin. 

Also, the blood on Y/N’s finger that gets on one of the white petals foreshadows how Jiyeon’s rose petals spill over her white dress “like blood.” ;) But I guess, to wrap this story and this story talk up, the moral(?) of the story is that love is so so fickle and messy and isn’t always beautiful flowers and butterflies and weddings. Sometimes its horrible, and stupid, and uncontrollable, and extremely fragile. Like petals. 

Finally, I didn’t include this in the beginning but I’ve gotten quite a few questions about Jungkook’s blue color choice!

Blue is obviously a color that represents sadness and melancholy, giving a solemn vibe to anything it graces. Also in flowers and nature particularly, blue pigmentation is extremely rare! So combined, the blue color really reflects the rarity of the entire morale of the story: y/n and Jungkook are both anomalies (abnormalities) in the medical sense; 99% of hanahaki surgeries are supposed to reverse the effects of the disease and keep them dormant forever. However, just as the blurb asks, what about the 1%? And how much more rare that the two people inside the 1% happened to be involved with eachother in this incredibly twisted, sad reality??? that’s why I chose blue :)

Hope you enjoyed! 

I really appreciate everyone who reads the story talks. If you’ve read, you can really see exactly what I wanted to portray with my stories, and since we’re not in AP english anymore and trying to decode everything we read, I’ll gladly do it for you here in the story talks! :) 

Good night! 

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY, JUST PUBLISH.

Wish on a Fish | Namjoon

→ summary: namjoon’s got fish-shaped pastries on the brain, and you’ve got namjoon-shaped space in your heart. you both learn to make do. → genre: fluff, humor → words: 3.9K → a/n: i had this in my wips since october 2018 and i decided to finish it because it’s loving namjoon hours (but when is it not?) also this was inspired by this galaxy brain quote from the man himself: “ain’t no fish inside”

“Y/N has a crush on you.”

The owner of the voice giggles when Namjoon lifts his head up in confusion, a sticky note with various mathematical equations hanging precariously from his forehead. An unflattering doodle of what appears to be a worm with Yoongi’s face has imprinted itself like a makeshift tattoo from where his cheek had rested upon his notebook. None of that information explains what year he has woken up in, what dimensions he has slipped into, nor why Hoseok has decided to tell him this very unlikely factoid when he was clearly busy with his guilt nap.

[guilt nap (n.) when Namjoon has kept his eyes open for an extended amount of time, to the point where colors start making noise and numbers start looking like letters, so he sleeps in various public places to reboot his brain; hardly ever works but he still tries.]

“Whuzzat?” Namjoon asks, verbose. The sticky note is on its last dredges of stickiness, and the Hoseok watches it flop down from its perch and into his friend’s agape mouth. Hoseok plucks it away kindly, but Namjoon doesn’t even seem to have noticed its disappearance.

“You look like shit,” Hoseok replies instead, pulling a chair beside Namjoon and carefully pushing aside what appears to be a glass of curdled milk. Hoseok’s nose crinkles in disgust. “Dude. Was this the milk tea from free Boba Tuesday?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon blinks owlishly. It appears that his brain hasn’t fully awakened yet, because he goes to grab the cup and bring it to his lips when Hoseok saves him by plucking the offending object out of his hands too.

“Namjoon. Free Boba Tuesday was three days ago. It’s Friday evening. This is three-day-old milk tea.”

Keep reading

sparkly agust d 

Why Do You Hate Me?

summary: he seems to hate you, but he panics when something happens to you

pairing: jung hoseok x reader

Part 2 in my masterlist! masterlist in bio!

    You couldn’t explain why Jung Hoseok didn’t like you. For one thing, you didn’t actually know why. Ever since your best friend, Jimin, introduced you to his friends, he had been nothing but cold to you. You tried to ignore it, realizing that no one else had a problem with you, but he only seemed to get worse. Being the nice person you were, it caused you to worry about being friends with Jimin at first. You didn’t want to make Hoseok uncomfortable, but Jimin had been adamant that you were speaking nonsense. 

    Nevertheless, he didn’t like you, which is why you thought this little getaway Jimin had planned was nothing but a recipe for disaster. Namjoon and Jin had arranged a little isolated cabin for everyone, saying that it would be nice to get away from everything for a while, and the invitation was extended to you. You tried to protest, but before you could give any form of reason Jimin was packing your bag for you.

    Everything had been meticulously planned out. The drive there was uneventful (unless you count Jungkook and Jimin fighting over who was the coldest), and the cabin itself was beautiful. It was definitely made to be a getaway spot, temporary, but something about the snow on the roof, and the lights up the walkway to the front door made it seem like more to you. 

    The only part they forgot to think about, was firewood. They wanted to do the whole unplugged shebang, so that meant no using the built in-heating system of the cabin. So after everyone was all settled in, no one had taken off their coats yet because it was seemingly even colder inside than it was outside. You were holding your hands to  your chest and bouncing on the balls of your feet to be warm. “We’re surrounded by trees, can’t someone just go out and get some?”

    You nodded, viciously agreeing with Jin’s request, quickly volunteering, but Namjoon frowned. “No one should go alone, we’re not familiar with the area.”

    “I’ll go with her.”

    Yours wasn’t the only shocked face staring back at Hoseok, but he only shrugged. “I was the one who had to map out how to get here and I’m the only one with a general idea of what’s around us.”

    “Are you sure? I don’t want to-”

    He cut you off by rolling his eyes. “Just grab a flashlight and let’s get going.”

    It was awkward. The silence was heavy other than the crunching snow, because you had long since learned that he did not want to talk to you. It was hard for you because you had no idea how to handle the tense atmosphere, so you just focused on the ground, not really wanting to have to chop down a tree. You could find some sticks that work, right?

    “Keep up Y/N, I don’t want to have to tell Jimin that I lost you because you got distracted by a leaf.”

    You huffed at the remark, knowing that the monotonous tone he spoke with was reserved only for you. To literally everyone else he was always bright and happy, so what makes you different? “Why do you hate me?”

    He turned around, jaw dropping open at your blunt question. “What?”

    He rolled his eyes, and turned around to continue walking. “I don’t hate you, Y/N. I never did.”

    You stomped closer. “I asked, why do you hate me? I mean, I have been nothing but nice to you. I haven’t done anything, and I still try to be nice to you even though you make no effort to me. It’s been years so tell me, why do you hate me?”

    You scoffed. “Yeah, because you sure proved that to me.”

    “You are so annoying, you know that? Why does my opinion matter so much to you anyway?”

    “That’s funny, because you’re the one avoiding answering me.”

    It was dead silent as you glared up at him, and a look came upon Hoseok’s face that you couldn’t decipher, before his gaze shifted back to cold and distant, it’s usual with you. “I don’t owe you an explanation, okay? Maybe I just don’t like you because Jimin didn’t shut up about you for weeks, but then the day before he introduced us, he decided to slip in the idea that you were off-limits, as if any of us wanted to date you. Maybe it’s because you’re so small and irritating. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent countless hours worrying about you for the sake of Jimin-”

    The look of hurt on your face was unmistakable. “If I’m such a burden,” you spat out the word, “why are you here in the middle of the woods, with me?”

    Hoseok had to keep the wince off his face. It’s not like he could say what he wanted to say, but he also didn’t know how to fix this. So he stayed silent. 

    You let out a laugh, cold, dry, and humorless, and he hated how different the hurt look on you was from your usually vibrant smile. “Yeah, okay. I’m going back to the cabin since you can’t even be bothered to tolerate my presence.”

    He groaned, traipsing after you as you stormed off through the trees. “Y/N, wait!”

“Why?” You whirled around. “So you can tell me more examples of how the only reason you even bother to acknowledge my existence is as a favor to Jimin? Or how you complain about how much I annoy you when I’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you trying to avoid get togethers like this so I wouldn’t?”

The dancer looked upset as he inched toward you, trying to talk, but you kept inching backward, not listening. “I was wrong. This entire time, I’ve been defending you, saying that it doesn’t matter if you’re rude to me because you’re just having a bad day, or because not everyone can like me.”

“Y/N-”

“But you’re just a jerk! You don’t even have a reason, and I’m so tired of worrying ov-”

    Your foot finally hit the ice he was trying to warn you about, and as if it knew about your frustration, it cracked away as quickly as your patience. You let out a shriek as you fell into the freezing water. 

    “Y/N!”

    His panicked yell let him without him even realizing it. He rushed towards the ice, hoping to find you not far from where you had fallen. He felt so stupid but now was not the time to berate himself on it. He had to save you first. He didn’t even know what type of body of water this was. Did it have currents that could drag you further away from him? He knelt down, hoping that the ice wouldn’t crack and he could get you out of there before the worst happened. 

    It didn’t take him long to spot your heavy jacket in the water, but you drifting further away, your layers weighing you down. Kneeling on the ice his hand shot into the icy water, latching around your sleeve. He laid on the ice tugging you closer until he could grab onto your wrist and pull you up. “Come on, Y/N, don’t do this to me now,” he begged as he pulled your upper body out of the water. He noticed that you were shivering, and he was pretty sure that you weren’t conscious. “Come on, Y/N, stay with me.”

    The words were frantic as he tucked you into his chest, rushing back to the cabin. You had already been freezing before, but now you were practically a lifeless snowman in his arms. Was he crying? It felt like it, but the only thing he could think about over his panicked heartbeat was how shallow your breathing was. He practically took the door off its hinges when he busted it open, immediately met by yells. 

    “Is that Y/N?” Jimin shot up. “What the hell happened?”

    “She fell through the ice, someone find a heater!” Even after he laid you down on the bed, his hands were still shaking. He stepped out of the room so Jimin could get you into warmer, dry clothes, but he was still shaking. 

    The minute Jimin said he could come back in he was flying into the room. “Is she okay?”

    Jimin could have fell down from how forceful and panicked his hyung was. “She’s fine, still shaking a little but she’s getting warmer. Hyung, what happened?”

    His lip trembled. Why was he so emotional? Oh, because you were laying on the bed, sleeping, and you didn’t even look okay. You were shaking and pale, and your breathing had only barely quickened. 

    “She asked why I hate her, and I lied to her.”

    Jimin was quiet for a minute, which unnerved Hoseok since he wasn’t looking at him, but eventually the younger male sighed. “I told you when you hatched this plan that she was stubborn and something would happen. You need to tell her the truth.”

    “She thought that I meant she was a burden, there’s no way I can come back from that to, “Oh by the way, the reason I was so mean to you is because I caught feelings the day I met you but I thought you had a boyfriend and by the time I realized the truth it was too late.’”

    Jimin nodded, “That’s because you’re an idiot,” he said, firmly.

    Hoseok resisted the urge to groan. He knew Jimin was right. He almost lost you, and he didn’t even have you yet. Jimin threw an arm around his shoulder. “Come on, you need to get into some dry clothes too.”

    And only after the two set of footsteps padded out of earshot, and the door clicked as it shut behind them, did you finally crack one eye open. What?