As The Gatekeeper Of Hell Itself, Youre Used To Hearing I Dont Belong Here. Your Job Is To Convince People

As the gatekeeper of Hell itself, you’re used to hearing “I don’t belong here.” Your job is to convince people they do. So this morning, the last thing you expected was a call from Heaven, about a goody-two-shoes fussing about how they don’t belong inside the pearly gates.

They are studying us in petri dishes

Watching reddit refugees and native tumblrinas intermingle is like that scene from the Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, where all the lions realize that the only thing that separates them is mud and they shouldn't fight because they're family.

Except the mud is crippling social anxiety and the family is a rotting capitalist system that ruined both our respective sites, but in different ways.

hakuna matata.

Homeless Jason before Bruce him in: Why are you scared of Batman?

Also, homless Danny: I don't want him drinking my blood

Jason: Batman's a vampire!?

Danny: I know! He's so scary!

Jason: Well, aren't you like a half ghost meta? Can't you take him?

Danny: You want me to fight a VAMPIRE!? No thanks.

Batman, watching from above their alley: Those are the kids that are being hunted down by a rouge?

Nightwing: Yeah, there are some rumors Penguin wants their heads. Apparently, Danny helped an entire shipment of traffic victims escape their cages by crashing a crane against the shipping carriers that they were in. Jason was among the victims, so it may have been an attempt to rescue his twin

Batman: They're twins?

Nightwing: According to the word on the street they are. What do you think? We putting them in witness protection?

Batman: No. Danny's meta abilities will have then flag by another ring before long.....Wayne is an emergency foster. He could take them in.

Nightwing: Sounds good to me. Let me tell them that, though. They think you're a vampire, so they may be scared of you.

Batman slightly hurt: Alright.

Nightwing dropping in front ot the kids: Hey there-!

Danny: AGHHHHHH! THE DISCO VAMPIRE! RUN JASON!

Jason: AGHHHHHHHHHHHH DISCO IS SO MUCH WORST THEN A GOTHIC ACADEMIA VAMPIRE!

*Danny and Jason sprinting faster the the Olympics gold medalist*

Dick: Why does everyone hate my discowing outfit.

Every superhero in the city hates you. Not because you’re the most powerful villain but because every crime you commit is technically legal.

If I had a timetravel machine, I would punch myself a lot.