Sometimes I Think About How Lucienne The 'nearly All The Dreams And Nightmares Had Left During My Time

sometimes i think about how Lucienne the 'nearly all the dreams and nightmares had left during my time running things' dares telling Dream how to do his job 'the right' way :')

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

hey. don't cry. 62 bottles of beer on the wall, okay?

hey. don't cry. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. okay?

I've noticed that some fans within the Sandman are laboring under the mistaken conclusion that Dream doesn't understand certain aspects of human culture, and that this is somehow a shortcoming that he not only has but comes into conflict with. This is mistaken on two counts.

1. Humans aren't the only intelligent species across the universe. There are thousands, stretching from the birth of the first star to death of the last, and his purview is over all of them. He is THE Dream of the Endless, embodiment of all that is not and will never be, and has rather a lot of cultures to be keeping track of considering the number that exist even within one species. So there's a lot to sort through in that facsimile of a noggin any time a character refers to some charming aspect of life, but he sorts through it with such promptness and ease (because that's his job) that we forget he's sorting through anything at all. Now, we can go into the blurry mechanics of aspects/facets/manifestations of a greater whole and how those exist separately yet as one being, but while it's an interesting path to stroll at a different time, that's not what we're here to do.

2. I touched on it before, but Dream does know this stuff somewhere in the vast web of minds that he consists of. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't for his own sanity (so to speak), sometimes for the sake of the individual trying to relate things to him, and sometimes because it's more Dramatic. He knows culture and etiquette and invention, he utilizes this knowledge to be the most politest little gentleman but he also uses it to be a cunt. If there is something he's said that's in poor taste, consider what is going on from Dream's perspective. Is he mad? Is he scared? Is he feeling petty? The answer is probably yes to one of these. When he's upset, he is extraordinarily insensitive because most of his energy goes to not committing horrifying atrocities barely conscienable by the waking mind seeing as how he is a cunt. When he's scared he puffs himself up and acts a cunt. When he's feeling petty he is, you guessed it, intentionally being a cunt. If he doesn't seem to know a certain taboo, he either doesn't care enough to, or does and is intentionally breaking it.

FINALLY!! Sometimes he does know and doesn't grasp for... reasons unclear. For example: he knows about chimneys, but doesn't grasp their significance. Or when people use colloquial phrases and he takes it as literally as possible. He understands humans, just not the experience.

TL;DR—Dream knows what everyone is talking about. He just doesn't care or is being intentionally obtuse when he doesn't seem to, for the most part, and when not applicable he still knows and just doesn't fully grasp it. He is very smart insomuch that intelligence can be measured among endless, he's just also very naive and petty.

Dreamling Circus AU

[CW animal death (rabbit), violence (humans)]

So, Hob is broke, homeless, and will do anything for some food and shelter. He takes a job at the Burgess Circus that no-one else will work at because Burgess is an asshole and old fool and perv and everything bad that people can come up with. Hob doesn't like the man but he's desperate for a job so he sucks it up and applies.

Hob can throw knives. Quite well, but not good enough to make it to the show. He can throw knives outside and entertain people before it is showtime. But his main job is to care for the animals and... beasts.

So, logically, there aren't any real beasts, right? Right...? They are all just exotic animals, animals that were born with some mutations, or even mutilated animals that he can only feel sorry for. Same goes for most of the strange people that are a part of the circus. A woman with an unusual amount of body hair, who is NOT a werewolf. A muscular man, who is NOT a demigod, just really strong. So, logically, the vampire also has to be fake, right?

Except at the end of the day, while everyone sleeps in their huts, the "vampire" remains in a cage. Nobody dares to even come close unless they absolutely have to, but Hob is told to toss a small animal in the cage. He is not sure how he feels about it. He leaves that cage for the last, preferring to feed the tigers before approaching the strange, naked man in a cage. And when the night is dark and everyone is asleep and Hob is sore and tired from all the work, he carefully brings a bowl of soup to the cage.

The black-haired man merely looks at it with disgust and then continues to stare into emptiness. There is an air of pride around him, even though he is naked, humiliated at daily basis, locked up in a cage. “Would you really prefer to eat a live rabbit over soup?” Hob asks incredulously. He gets no reply, but the "vampire" looks at him again. His eyes are black, but it must be from the dim light around them.

“Serve yourself, then,” Hob shrugs and opens a small cage full of rabbits, taking an unlucky or lucky one out and tossing it in the cage with the man. He expects the rabbit to land on its feet and run. They are fast motherfuckers and Hob will surely never see it again. Well, half of that is true.

The rabbit never lands, as the "vampire" (he can't be a real vampire, right?) lunges, almost faster than light, and catches it, burying his fangs in the squealing animal and silencing it forever. Hob takes several steps back but doesn't run. He watches on in fascination.

The black-haired man licks his hands clean when he is done with the animal. He ignores the filth - loose fur and some straws - on his hands, just licks and sucks his skin until he's consumed every single drop of blood. When he is done, he looks at Hob, but he still doesn't look like a wild beast. He looks pleading, hungry, helpless. If he were a vampire, theoretically speaking, one rabbit probably wouldn't be enough, Hob reasons as he tosses another one into the cage before turning his back to leave before he could do anything more stupid.

The next day, Hob confronts Burgess. The Magus keeps insisting that everything in his Circus is real, even the werewolf and demigod and dragon and all that bullshit. Hob can't get him to admit to anything, but he notices that Burgess calls the vampire "it" while everyone else gets to be treated like human. “Don't worry, it's not human,” Burgess assures Hob. “Just do your job or leave.”

Hob has a minor moral crisis. If he leaves, he will be hungry, homeless, and the winter is coming and he won't find another job at this time of the year. But if he stays, he will have to be witness to the inhuman treatment the "vampire" is getting. It's certain death or basically allowing slavery.

He allows himself to contemplate for another few days, often stopping by the vampire's cage. He never speaks, but he always looks up at Hob with hope. There is not always enough extra "food" that Hob can give the man, but he tries to make it up to him in other ways. By seeing him, by acknowledging him.

Finally, Hob snaps (there was no other way it could go, was it?) and opens the cage. He has to steal the key from Burgess’ neck chain, but fortunately, he is a bit of a thief. He naively expects gratitude when he opens the door, but instead, he gets tackled to the ground, head yanked to the side and fangs in his neck. He makes no sound and tries to make peace with his deities, thinking that at least one of them will get to roam free and hungerless.

But the vampire doesn't kill Hob. He drinks for a while, his whole body warming as he does, and then he reluctantly pulls away, kissing the spot that he almost mutilated in silent apology. “Stay down,” he says quietly, and his voice is much deeper than Hob expected. Pleasant to listen to for sure. And not that Hob has any other option but to liten.

Several minutes later, the whole Circus is on fire. There was a brief moment of screaming, but those screams didn't last longer than seconds. Now it's just animals roaring and howling as they run free, and flames consuming all buildings. Hob finally realises that he should get up and save himself when a wooden hut collapses next to him. He is dizzy but manages to stand, but he only makes a few steps before he is stumbling to the ground again.

Strong arms wrap around him and lift him up without effort. It is the vampire, now wearing a black robe, face and neck covered in blood. Hob stares in awe and fascination as the mythical creature carries him away from the danger.

“I may have taken more than I should have,” the vampire says sheepishly as he helps Hob stand on unsteady legs, the circus burning in the distance, nobody screaming or calling for help because they are all dead.

“I can give it back,” the vampire suggests, and it takes Hob's fuzzy mind embarrassingly long to understand what he means.

“No, thanks,” he grimaces, and the vampire snorts as if he had done something endearingly stupid.

“How can I repay you, then?”

Hob feels like he could ask for anything then. Power, eternal life, fortune. But hunger and losing it all had put his priorities in order. “I don't suppose you know of a job?” he asks with a laugh. “I'm recently once again unemployed.”

The vampire tilts his head, studying Hob. Hopefully, he doesn't read minds, Hob thinks. Finally, he says: “I have a long road ahead of me. A travel companion that knows these lands would be appreciated.”

posts that make me want to rip my heart out part 5