The Ocean Is Problematic

the ocean is problematic

- knocks me tf down 

- crazy fishy 

- sand in ass

god I’m absolutely going to hell I’m sorry guys 

I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against people’s glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproduct 

and one of my friends was like ‘ho what in god’s name are you doing’ 

and I didn’t know how to say I would rather slice of my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said ‘I’m toasting’ 

and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell

Bird Logic

Maybe if I scream loud enough, the problem will resolve itself.

look at my real cool shirt raizacartulina designed 💕

Light is hitting your body at 186,000 miles per second and we don’t even feel it.