I Just Realized How Come San And Deok Im's Love Languages Were So Opposite Of What They Need From Each

I just realized — how come San and Deok Im's love languages were so opposite of what they need from each other?

San's love language: Words of affirmation

Something that he's been craving to hear from Deok Im.

Remember when Deok Im said she'd protect him, he engraved those words deeply into his heart, to the point of confessing, "How can I possibly not love such a woman?"

Remember how brightly he smiled to the point of disbelief when Deok Im answered "I missed you too" during his first visit to her after she became his concubine.

San always tells Deok Im how much she means to him.

How much he loves and adores her, that he wants to make a family with her.

How he becomes powerless and broken whenever he sees her cry.

But Deok Im either cuts him,

Stays silent,

Or gives him a blatant rejection.

He knows she has deep feelings for him too. There's no way that she doesn't love him back. But since he's not receiving a clear-cut answer, he just satisfies himself with the fact that she's his anyway, regardless of what she feels.

But then until her last breath, Deok Im sealed her heart. She just imparted a subtle response on her true feelings about him. He wasn't able to obtain the ultimate thing he wanted from her – a direct love confirmation – and he beat himself up for that to his deathbed.

Deok Im's love language: Acts of service

Something that Deok Im cannot demand from him as he is not in the position to do so.

Deok Im saved him a lot of times, putting her own life on the line.

She frantically looks for solutions when he's in trouble.

However, sadly, San cannot do the same for her.

Remember that time when Deok Im was wrongfully accused of stealing Lady Yeong's book, the least he could do for her was to send her to exile.

When she was defamed for supposedly having a relationship with a royal guard, he chose not succumb to his personal feelings and go against the rules to save her, even if it means her death.

Poor Deok Im excitedly waited for him to arrive to celebrate the news of her pregnancy, hinting that she's ready to confess her hidden feelings for him (remember the yellow pouch she made with San's sisters which they intend to give to their husbands? It was at this point when I thought Deok Im considered him his husband, the father of her child, her family. This very pouch symbolizes her love🥺) But he never came; instead, he went to comfort his queen. And so she snapped out of reality that he was never hers.

He scolded her instead of comforting her for the loss of their child. But Deok Im took the initiative to compose her shattered self and went to him to cheer him up.

He couldn't even save her best friend from the death row, despite having the power to do so.

She's always there whenever he needs her, but he always makes her wait.

She's already contented to be by his side and serve him as a court lady, even if the thought of him being with another woman kills her inside. There's this line in the novel, "As expected, the distance between us is just right. Being further away is somehow hurtful, yet to go closer there is fear. He is there, and I am here. It’s just enough to make the heart flutter a bit. Nothing too sad, nothing too much." But he cornered her by saying she won't see him ever if she rejects him again. I bet she thought, "How can I live without seeing him? Merely seeing him living well is already enough for me." So our girl made the toughest decision. She sacrificed her entire freedom just to be with him. If that is not love then I don't know anymore.

Disregarding the afterlife scene, their love story is just so poignant. How ironic. They love each other so much, but weren't able to meet each other's needs. I can't help but cry thinking about this.

Hah~ I just wanted to write this as I'm preparing to let go of my lingering attachments towards this drama. My heart really aches for these two. I read Junho's interview yesterday and looks like our boy is also not functioning well after the drama ended. Good to know, we shouldn't be the only ones to suffer you know. Kidding!

And so, here's The Red Sleeve in a nutshell:

And oh by the way, I'm officially sending off this drama through this 2 FMVs I've made. Care to watch? 😊

The Red Sleeve FMV - San x Deok Im - Troublemaker

The Red Sleeve FMV - San x Deok Im - Shouldn't Be

NOT JAE SEON’S WIFE TELLING HIM AND GYEONG TAE THAT THEY LOOK LIKE A COUPLE

choi ung is perhaps the loveliest and the most wholesome boy simply because he makes people’s lives better just by being in it. yeon su realises that what she forgot was not just how much she loved ung, but why she loved him, and it was because he doesn’t pretend to be someone else or hide his feelings, he straight up shows up to her meeting and tells her that he can’t wait till the weekend to see her again because the weekend’s too far away and he missed her. ji ung realises he needs to stop being such a jerk to ung because even though he’s been in love with ung’s girlfriend this whole time, ung never expresses that he’d taken even the slightest bit of offence when he found out, and instead looks after ji ung when he’s home alone lying sick on his sofa. it’s so sweet and inspiring because ung doesn’t go the extra mile to impress people, he’s just honest and kind to the people in his life, never taking them for granted and making sure they know it, seeing if they’re doing well and taking care of them when they need it.

Can someone wish me Happy Birthday?? I am having a bad day😔

I really liked that while Ung wanted an answer he was still able to understand that she just isn’t fully ready to share yet. Especially after we saw the conversation Yeon su had with drunk Ung where she did tell him but he missed the beginning and then dismissed/belittled what he did hear, I don’t blame her completely for holding back (tho I was begging her just to say it lol). It reminded me a lot of when she shared she just wanted a job and to be stable and he was like that’s it?? That’s your big dream, ofc he didn’t say it with a bad intention and he didn’t have the full picture of why she said that but I can’t imagine it felt good for Yeon su to hear that either of those times. It seems like they’re gonna have Yeon Su’s world come crashing down in order for her to open while for Ung I think it was more the pressure/reminder that he had been abandoned combined with the fact that the last excuse to keep Yeon su around him was ending that pushed him to confess and tell her about being abandoned. Regardless, I appreciate that they had her agree to be more open with him and that she took his hand after he held it out, almost like a representation of her finally being ready to start relying/leaning on him when things get hard.

I think I liked that he was able to understand and wait for her to be ready bc that’s something I do with my friends when I know they’re going through something but aren’t ready to talk about it. It felt realistic and rather healthy of the relationship too. Forcing her to answer him I think would have created a bigger gap and I’m glad that in some ways his talk with her grandma filled this gap for him so that he could be more understanding of why Yeon su is so afraid to give an honest answer to his question.