Birdbutbetter - At The End Of Everything, Hold On To Anything

hello jashers!!

me and my brother @therealqa have been working on an angst fic called metamorphosis for the past week

it's finally out if you'd like to read it !!

please do mind the tws, it's heavy

Ages ago when i first got into Chonny Jash (when i really only knew him from The Mind Electric covers he did bc i was animating to it) I saw a comment on that video that said something along the lines of “i think it’s really interesting how The Mind looks down upon The Heart for being so emotional when his own lines of the song are inherently filled with emotion” and i. I haven’t stopped thinking about that since.

yeah, Soul is just a guy and he regularly starts his conversations with “yo” and “what up mfs” and kickflips his trident and drinks two full cases of monster in a month because he’s a little silly and has main character energy when he is not busy being depressed but what i need you all to understand is that he is cold and bitter and violent when he allows himself to be. One minute he’s laughing and joking and the next he’s holding his trident up to Mind’s neck for making too rude of a comment towards Heart as a clear threat to get the other to shut up or he’s pinning Heart against the wall for attempting to punch Mind and digging the prongs of the trident into his side just to show the other who’s in charge. When he gets angry, he changes from the silly and mostly enjoyable presence into something a little more sinister and violent, a personality that both Heart and Mind have come to fear over time, someone who is unbothered by his sudden shift in morality and will not hesitate to manipulate and hurt others to get his way. And it’s not like Soul enjoys it, but it’s not really like he has a choice. As a separate being from the other two, he no longer has mind’s logic or heart’s sense as an innate part of him to help hinder and control that violence and bitterness inside of him, so when he gets like that its not always easy for him to come back to himself and his senses and it terrifies the other two. Do you understand. I need you all to realize this.

i cannot stop thinking about this. Heart's pain is psycological, not physical, and the mental illness metaphor falls perfectly into this. Heart has panic attacks and heartaches from stress and the whole, and no matter how much angst it allows it's representation that no matter what your pain and suffering is valid, visible or invisible. amazing reflection

As much as I love all depictions of Mind’s headaches and Heart’s heartaches (sweet sWEET ANGST) my personal take seems to be slightly different. I feel like unlike Mind’s headaches, Heart’s heartaches aren’t physical pain like it’s often depicted, but emotional pain. Essentially, rather than “heartaches” referring to physical chest pains on their own, like before a heart attack, it’s referring to the chest tightness and pain being caused by crying and struggling to breathe, such as during a panic attack or his depression kicking in. It would make sense, he is the manifestation of emotions and when we say “heartache” we are typically describing emotional pain rather than physical pain. Heart’s heartaches are an emotional ache- a sudden debilitating sinking feeling of dread and/or panic that either sends his adrenaline through the roof or just makes his chest feel heavy. He’ll always grab at his chest as if he’s been stabbed, as if it is physical pain, but it’s him trying to ground himself, trying to get his heart rate to slow down a little so he can b reathe, or trying to sooth the sudden inexplicable feeling of loneliness and hopelessness out of nowhere. It’s just as debilitating for him as if it were physical pain, and often the fear of a heartache can cause a heartache to happen (even more of a metaphor for mental illness.) It’s the kind of dread that sends you into a fit of sobbing and gasping for air and leaves you feeling too sick and lightheaded to stand, the feeling you get when something terrible’s happened, but it’s random and inexplicable. Theoretically, nothing should be wrong. The way he reacts, you can tell he’s in pain, but it’s emotional pain. He is the emotional side, after all. It also may be part of why Mind thinks he’s so weak. Mind’s headaches are physically debilitating and the pain actively stops him from functioning, and because it’s physical pain and Heart’s is emotional pain, he assumes that it’s not like that for Heart, that he is just over dramatic and should be able to snap out of it (again, mental illness metaphors!!!) But Heart is no more capable of making the emotional pain stop than Mind is at making the physical pain stop, and he’s no more able to “power through.”

lost my mind (ha) on capcut. expext more soon

i love these dumbasses