Try To Dig A Perfect Hole. I Know That Sounds Really Weird. Who Cares If Your Hole Is Perfect? But If

“Try to dig a perfect hole. I know that sounds really weird. Who cares if your hole is perfect? But if you’re going to be out there six hours a day, you have to give yourself a purpose. You can either groan about how stupid it is to dig a hole, or you can tell yourself you’re doing something important. You’re digging the best hole anyone’s ever dug. […] When you’re done, stand over your hole. Take time to admire it, no matter how tired and sore you feel. You worked hard digging that hole, and you should take pride in a job well done. And then spit in it. Because, after all, it’s just a stupid hole, and you are better than that.”

— Stanley Yelnats’ Survival Guide To Camp Green Lake

Source

There's a pattern I've noticed with mixed-race fictional characters - the Black parent is almost invariably the dad. If this isn't selection bias on the part of the media I'm familiar with, I'm guessing this is tied to gendered stereotypes about Black people?

I mean, if you want my honest answer about the combination in general, it's because Black women are not deemed equivalently valuable partners, if valuable humans. That intersection between "Black" and "woman" drives home that this is the least desirable combination in our society.

Yes, there are plenty of stereotypes of the types of mothers and wives that we make, despite the fact that people then turn around and want us to solve the world's problems. Everyone wants us to fix, but no one wants to love us for the fixing and the doing. Everyone wants to mock us for being "ghetto welfare queens" or "loud and mean", to the point that the idea that we're normal ass people capable of love is unbelievable to some.

And be honest- how many times have we watched media where the Black girl or woman was the romantic interest of a white man, and it got extreme hate? Entire shows have been affected by fans' vitriol towards a Black woman on screen being loved by a white man (Merlin, Sleepy Hollow, The Flash, Arcane). People don't want to see Black women in that role; it's not "relatable" or "exciting". In order to see more Black women in these roles, people would have to see Black women as worth loving, as good parents, as good wives. As valuable characters.

And yes, the history of white women's vitriol and resentment towards the status of Black women in particular is longstanding, centuries before "fandom" as we know it today.

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help paying for bills while sick with gallstones

hello, i'm equinox. i'm a mixed disabled intersex trans lesbian. i am dealing with gallstones, one of which is lodged in the neck of my gallbladder and causing immense pain and digestive issues. i'm struggling to keep down food, some days i can't at all. i am also dealing with an injury in my left wrist that makes it very difficult to use, flare ups from hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome and psoriatic arthritis. i am struggling with my health and am in need of help as working has become very difficult and i'm being urged to rest while i await my gallbladder removal surgery

today i was told that the surgeon i was referred to can't work on patients above a certain weight and that i would need another referral to a surgeon who is used to working with fat bodies. i already waited a month to see this person, now i have to wait again. i have bills to pay, and i'm struggling to make ends meet right now due to my low energy from dealing with my health as is

i have been bed bound lately and my body has been so exhausted to the point of nearly passing out in public several times. i have been so tired i have been falling asleep against my will. i struggle to cook some days due to being so exhausted. i'm behind on housework, and i need certain cleaning items. i'm struggling to eat regularly, as sometimes i can get sick and throw up for no reason at all.

i had 4 GI procedures this month, all of which were helpful and informative, but it's wearing on me. my mental health is very fragile at the moment as my care is being prolonged for no reason. i am frequently in tears due to how tired this has been making me. i am frustrated beyond belief because i just want to be able to eat normal meals again. i can barely eat. i can barely stay awake

i currently have to pay for my electric bill, and my internet bill:

if you are interested in helping me, you can do so in the following ways:

pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare @ gmail. com cash app: $glitterGraphix venmo: $Equinoxian chime: $Equinoxian

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Hair for thought: a little mini lesson

I know this blog may seem more geared towards art than writing, and admittedly, I am pushing for visuals because I can be a very visual creator myself, so the two converge for me. So that may be an issue of communication on my end.

However, I do want people to consider that the way you "see" your character in your mind affects how you write them! So if you're here to learn to write better Black characters, the way you picture them has an effect!

For example, let's say you're writing your character. You want them to have a 4C afro. Do you know what 4C means? Do you know what that looks like? How it feels? How it changes under different environments and circumstances? How can you describe those things to give your reader an adequate picture of your character if you don't know what that looks like? How can you get creative with their looks if you don't know your options?

If you have a loving moment between your characters, and you want one to touch the hair of the other. First, do you know the importance of the vulnerability of touching your Black partner's hair? Second, how will you describe that, if you don't know the texture of the hair and what it looks like? You can't often "run your fingers" through it! You have to be able to know and describe the curl pattern and what could happen with it!

Again, I'm using hair examples because that's the next lesson, but this still works in general! Skin color, the way the light plays on the skin- if you understand lighting on brown skin visually, you can describe it! Our lips, the way they feel in a kiss! Pubic hair texture, for the nasty!

One major example I have of this is that once, a few years ago, I did a test in one of my favorite fandoms. I took about 100 stories, and I asked myself: how far can I get into this fic while assuming My Blorbo is Black? (I.e., how often do we assume that whiteness is the default and don't feel the need to properly describe our characters?)

The answer: through most of them 🤣 "Brunette with brown eyes" is the majority of Black people.

We have to be willing to address the unintentional bias in our minds that treats Whiteness, and therefore white features and the habits that come with them, as the default. It doesn't seem like it matters because it's "normal", except for I and other Black fans! It's not our norm! You have to understand how we look, and how we may interact with the world culturally (and again, we're not a monolith! But there are some consistencies!) and how that may "look" (be described) in a story.

I hope this may help clear up some confusion 😅 and again, I'm sorry if I didn't make my goals clear. I'm new at this.

PSA to any nonhumans/otherkin/voidpunks who want a fang piercing to affirm themselves!!!

Do NOT do this:

This is a “smiley” piercing (a horseshoe bar through the frenulum); fang bars are NOT proper jewelry to wear in them! Their size and shape can increase the risk of gum recession and tooth chipping (and are at a higher risk of being torn out by mistake!), plus they’re difficult to live with when it comes to eating, drinking, and sleeping.

Do this instead:

These are vertical angel bites (AKA “angel fangs”), using a standard curved barbell with a spike on the bottom. They don’t extend into the oral cavity at all, which means your teeth won’t be damaged and there’s a lesser risk of injury. This piercing is also easier to live with so you can keep your fangs full-time (as long as the spikes you use aren’t TOO long, I’d recommend 3 to 4 mm).

Pls remember to affirm yourselves safely (especially with body modification), and only wear jewelry that’s meant to safely go in your piercing! 💕

(This is a safe space for MOGAI, otherkin, voidpunk, and nonhuman identities! Any offending or bigoted comments will be deleted and blocked. Please be respectful in the comments!!)