It Was Over

It was Over

Summary: She left. It was over. Aka, Finan and Aethelflaed come to a milestone in their relationship.

Warning: angst

Thank you to @emilyhufflepufftlk @lauwrite1225 @medievalfangirl for reading it beforehand

Enjoy

"You do not understand -"

"Aethelflaed, I do." Finan cut her off.

His use of her name made her clamp her jaw.

"I ended up on the slave ship because I chose love over the crown."

She tutted. "If you are trying to get me to renounce my vow, this is not the way." She bit.

"I would do it again. In a heartbeat. I would fight for our happiness, instead of having to walk away from ya." He said fiercely, eyes burning with fire.

She swallowed hard. The lump in her throat was unmoved by her efforts, blocking the path of the words she so desperately tried to say. So desperately wanted out of the way.

"What you did, was reckless. It did not grant you lasting happiness. Yet, it robbed Irland of a great leader." She finally said, her voice tight, tense. "I will not do the same to Mercia."

Finan's face fell, his heart with it. There was a finality in her voice that made him feel utterly defeated. Screams of protest wanted to escape his chest, but he has gone mute. Tears threatened to overflow his eyes as he stared into hers. When he attempted to turn away from her, he found he no longer had control over his body. Frozen in place, it felt as if time has stopped.

Aethelflaed hated seeing him like this, looking so helpless and lost. Every fiber of her being blazed with desire to step forward and embrace him. To whisper in his ear that she will stay with him, vow of chastity be damned. To kiss him, to -

She stopped herself there - she had to. Otherwise, she was sure her resolve would break.

With one more deep breath, she stepped a little closer to him.

"Know that I did not make this decision lightly." She said, her voice almost a whisper, soft, yet filled with firmness.

She stared into his eyes, willing him to believe her. He could not say anything in response, his mouth was too dry, his mind too occupied, his heart too pressed down by the weight of her words.

After the lingering look, when the mountain of unsaid feelings was beginning to tip over, she turned around, and swiftly walked through the door.

Once Aethelflaed was out of sight and earshot, a tear cascaded down his cheek, getting lost in his beard.

She left. It was over.

The next thing Finan knew was a sob escaping his lips, his face drenched in tears.

Thank you so much! ❤️

Love Freely

Summary: Aethelflaed's arrival to Rumcofa brings some surprises to the Lady of Mercia. Aka, another milestone in Finan and Aethelflaed's relationship.

Warning: angst

Enjoy

Rumcofa was always full of surprises. Whenever Aethelflaed visited, the only thing she could expect, was the unexpected.

She thought that after all the years she attended Blood Month, there would be nothing that could faze her anymore.

She was wrong.

Aethelflaed's heart skipped a beat as it tumbled to her stomach.

He had not noticed her yet. She was grateful for it. At least she could have a moment to try to reign in her emotions and not let them show on her face.

She had not only been too slow at doing so but she also did a poor job of it. The bitterness in her mouth did not go away and so her lips stayed pursed. She could feel the inconvenient crease between her eyebrows, no matter how hard she tried to relax them.

Uhtred, of course, noticed. Following her line of sight, he also saw the happy exchange of gentle touches and small, teasing kisses between the pair. He sighed, his expression turned into one of sympathy as he looked back at Aethelflaed.

"They married six moons ago." He whispered to her unvoiced question.

Aethelflaed's heart squeezed tightly in her chest. She knew that her happiness with Finan would be short-lived, even before she took the vow of chastity. There was always the possibility of getting caught if they were to act on their desire as regularly as they wished. She could not allow that. She knew she could not endure the pain of seeing Finan go through whatever Aethelred's cruel mind made up as punishment. Hence, their rendezvous were rare and far apart, but all the more passionate. She remembered the tremor in his voice, the softness of his thick accent as he first confessed to her, the searing kiss that followed his words and his touches that sent shivers down her whole body even now as a memory.

It was moments like that, which made her hope for a shared future burn brighter than it should have at Aethelred's death.

It was moments like that, which made her want to crawl out of her skin once she took the vow of chastity - cursing herself over and over in her frustration at having accepted the role of Queen of Mercia.

It was moments like that, which gave her new hope. That, perhaps, once her daughter reached the age when she could assume the throne, or marry a suitable man, then she could have her dream of being with him turn into reality.

And it was moments like that which now caused her heart to break all over again.

As she continued watching, the young, blond woman gave one more kiss to Finan before she turned to leave. He made a playful grab after her, causing her to swat at his hands with a joyous laugh. Aethelflaed could hear his chuckle - that infectious chuckle she loved so much - and saw him start to turn in their direction.

Aethelflaed snapped her gaze away, quickly turning to face Uhtred. A burst of pain shot through her from her chest at the sudden move. She winced. Her mind was so preoccupied with the scene in front of her, and the past, that she forgot about her illness.

She did not want to cause Finan any guilt, or make their reunion any more uncomfortable, by letting him know she saw them. She started a conversation on a haphazardly chosen topic with Uhtred until Finan would inevitably come up to greet her.

If Uhtred found the change strange or surprising, he did not show it.

Aethelflaed could feel Finan's presence next to her, but she did not turn before hearing him clear his throat.

"Lady Aethelflaed. I hope your journey was... pleasant." He said, voice formal, but a tinge of nervousness and embarrassment hit her ears.

"Finan." She greeted, plastering a smile on her face, that did not quite reach her eyes. Why was it so hard to pretend in front of him? "Tiring would be a more accurate word. If you'll excuse me..."

She nodded to Uhtred, before walking past him, into the longhouse to retire for the day. To avoid Finan as much as possible.

Once Aethelflaed was inside, Uhtred looked at the Irishman with saddened eyes, eyebrows raised slightly, expecting him to speak.

Finan, however, still looked after the Lady of Mercia, guilt tearing up the scars on his heart.

Huffing out a breath, he stepped back, turning away to walk to the alehouse. He needed a drink or a few...

All the while he was unaware of the teary gaze that followed his path from the longhouse's upstairs window.

******

I fear it is too late to save you from this canker.

Eadith's words echoed through Aethelflaed's mind once the healer was out of the room.

It is too late

She sank into the nearest chair, suddenly losing all strength that held her up.

Her mind was racing, unable to focus, yet incapable to comprehend the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that battled for dominance.

Too late

Aethelflaed nearly snorted a bitter laugh. Of all the memories, beautiful, if not necessarily happy memories she had with him, it was the most recent that won. Seeing Finan with his wife.

However, the bile that rose to her throat disappeared so soon, that she would have doubted it was there at all if she didn't know herself better.

Anticipating anger, Aethelflaed heaved in a breath. Instead, what she felt was something akin to relief.

As much as her heart broke, as much as the thought tore her to pieces, as much as her grief for the life they could have had pressed down on her shoulders with all its might, what she saw at her arrival eased her breathing, if only a little.

At least he has someone he can love freely.

This is so great!! I loved Sihtric and Clapa's teasing

Another Love | Finan x Aethelflaed

Chapter 2: ‘Aethelred, the Giant’s Turd’

@lauwrite1225 @solinarimoon @morosemagick @magravenwrites @93xdiagonxalley @trenko-heart @shianshian4315 @illjustgositinthecorner @amuddleofnervouswords @anotherwinchesterfangirl @medievalfangirl @persephones-journey @blah-blah-blah-bla @saint-helga @ulfrsmal

Beautiful! I love the gradual build of their relationship ❤️

Another Love | Finan x Aethelflaed

Chapter 3: ‘A True Friend’

@morosemagick @lauwrite1225 @solinarimoon @93xdiagonxalley @trenko-heart @magravenwrites @shianshian4315 @blah-blah-blah-bla @anotherwinchesterfangirl @amuddleofnervouswords @illjustgositinthecorner @medievalfangirl @persephones-journey @saint-helga @ulfrsmal

This is so great! I love how he calls her lass at times. Beautiful!

“Finan!” She gasped and pushed back her chair as she moved to her feet, her hands still on her desk. “We were not expecting you.” She pointed out, her voice formal enough to make the Irishman smirk with amusement.

“Do ya ever expect me, Lady?” He asked her, his eyes narrowed as if he could read through her.

-

Or, on their way back from Bebbanburg, Finan decides to visit Aethelflaed at her estate.

tagging finflaed nation: @persephones-journey @blah-blah-blah-bla @emilyhufflepufftlk @morosemagick @medievalfangirl @solinarimoon @amuddleofnervouswords @93xdiagonxalley @ulfrsmal

Amazing!

Except from Aftermath by Siegfried Sassoon

For the @tlkafterparty celebration.

Prompt: battlefield ⚔️

@morosemagick @lauwrite1225 @solinarimoon @magravenwrites @93xdiagonxalley @trenko-heart @blah-blah-blah-bla @illjustgositinthecorner @medievalfangirl @persephones-journey @amuddleofnervouswords @anotherwinchesterfangirl @saint-helga @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie