Hideout

Hideout

A Mermay Prompt

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“Let go of me!!!” Water rushed through your hair and ears as he dragged you downhill, deeper into the ocean and further away from your pod.

“Hold on, hold on!” The squid tried to calm you. “I just have to get you somewhere safe first! Also! You’re not being very… appreciative! I’m saving you, y’know!”

“You’re not saving me!!! I was perfectly fine!!!” You thrashed. “Get your suckers off me!!!”

“Wow! You’re really new! You don’t even know that Killer would kill you! I mean, it’s in his name, but good for you for not judging, I guess!” He shot you a smile over his shoulder even as he swam.

“I know he can kill me!!”

“Oh…” He frowned. “You’re just dumb then.”

“Hey!!!”

He shrugged. “Dream really knows how to pick ‘em. Did you know he found another useless siren before you?”

You’d had enough. Growling, you bared your teeth and bit into the tentacle that held you. The taste that hit your tongue had your face coiling in disgust. It tasted like pastels and paint. Gross.

The tentacle twitched and Ink glanced back at you again.

“What are you doing? Oh, you’re biting me. Stop that. It won’t help you.” He sounded so calm and unaffected by the bite that you faltered. Could you even get away if he wasn’t hurt by you?

Your answer came when you pulled away from the bite and a chunk of tentacle came off. You could bite through the limb.

You attacked again.

“I mean in, pal. Leave my arms alone.”

You ignored him.

“Hey.”

Bite.

“Dude.”

Bite.

“I said stop!”

You were whipped around through the water and spun. The tentacle left your waist and you steadied yourself, ready to run. Or well… swim.

Ink floated over you, his tentacles curling around and over you, caging you in as he spoke. “Do you know how long it takes to grow those back? Besides, they don’t taste good.”

Your eyes darted around, looking for an opening. He was much bigger than you and had the advantage of ten extra arms, one of which was wounded but still working. He did seem pretty oblivious though. So maybe you could outsmart him.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

Ink smiled and the question mark was back. “What do you mean? What am I doing?”

You stared blankly at him. Was he serious? “…You’re taking me away from my home.”

“Oh! Was that where you lived? I’m sorry! We’ll get you a new home as soon as we can! Nightmare is a bit of an urchin when it comes to territory. You won’t be able to go back until he leaves.” Ink informed you.

“I… I was living with Nightmare.”

“…”

“…”

“…Oh.” Ink backed up and displayed his tentacles. “You worked for Nightmare?”

“Well, not exactly? But we do call him Boss.”

His left eyelight changed into a target. “But you would do what he said if he asked?” The water was turbulent with how much his tentacles were moving. It made it hard to focus.

“Well, yes. He’s been very nice to me.” You gently paddled backwards with your tail. He was starting to scare you.

The question mark was back but the target stayed. “Why do all of you say that? How is Nightmare nice? Tell me. He has torn apart entire islands, sunken ships, he’s massacred pods upon pods of sirens, he attacks Dream on sight, and he has taken each of you from your homes. How is he ‘nice?’” He threw his hands in the ai- water as he spoke.

He was so absorbed in his rant that he didn’t notice you’d moved just out of reach.

“Nightmare didn’t take me from my home. Cross did.” You turned tail.

“What- Wait! Come back!” Ink startled.

You swam. You swam as fast as you could. You didn’t know where you were going but anywhere was better than with this strange squid siren that thought you were evil. He was fast too. You could feel him gaining behind you. You twisted between and around the boulders on the sea floor but, as long as you were moving, he was right behind you.

Getting a risky idea and taking a chance, you darted into the first small cave you found and froze, not letting yourself move a muscle.

The rush of water stopped outside.

“Hello? Where did you go? Human siren? I’m not gonna hurt you and I didn’t mean to scare you.” Ink called. “What do you mean ‘Cross did?’ Hello? Are you even over here?” He sighed. “You’re not here are you? Did you go this way?”

He continued to mumble and chatter further and further away until you couldn’t hear him anymore.

You didn’t move for several minutes afterwards, careful to make sure he was actually gone. When you were certain, you slowly dragged yourself further into the cramped cave and laid down.

Nightmare could find you. He would feel your fear and come find you.

One thing was for sure, you didn’t like Ink. He was big and mean and scary. Not that the boys weren’t big or scary. They just never belittled you like Ink had. You weren’t dumb. Living with the boys was the smartest and best decision you’d ever made.

Who was Ink to judge your decision after he kidnapped you?

You growled softly, aware that he could still be nearby. Now you didn’t know where you were, Killer was injured and panicking somewhere if Dream hadn’t killed him, and Dream knew Cross somehow. He said something about Cross being new to the ocean and not knowing what to do. Like you.

That made sense with Cross’s floppy dorsal fin indicating that he came from captivity. But if Dream knew him first, why was Cross with Nightmare now?

Wait.

Oh my stars.

Dream was Nightmare’s brother, wasn’t he?

“Ugh!” You blew bubbles that dispersed like clouds, covering the small cave in fog. You had a god of puns to punch if you ever found one.

Plankton

A Mermay Prompt

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“Hunting lessons!” Killer added the dramatic flare of jazz hands.

You stared at him. “Hunting lessons?”

“Obviously.” He grinned and gestured at you. “You’re so skinny, you look like a pipefish.” “Hey-!” “So! I’m gonna teach you! We’ll start with the easy stuff since you’re inexperienced. Plankton are easy enough. Here.”

Killer spent the next hour teaching you how to catch plankton and other easy larger fish. After you started to get the hang of it, Killer proposed an idea.

“How about this, y/n? I’m gonna go that way, you go the other way, we’ll catch as much as we can and meet back up here. Just each of us hunting alone. Whoever catches the most fish wins!”

You eyed him suspiciously. “And what does the winner get?”

Killer’s grin widened. “A favor~. Whoever wins gets to ask a favor of the other. No questions asked.”

It was a trap. You knew it was a trap. But you really didn’t want to back down from a challenge. Besides, you were faster than Killer. Maybe that could give you just enough of an advantage to make it fair.

You shrugged. “Why not? Go on three?”

“Go!” Killer shot away from you.

“Hey!” You quickly turned the other way and sped to catch as many fish as you could. Cheater. You should have known he’d pull something like that. He was always trying your patience with stuff like that. Scratch that, he was trying everyone’s patience.

He was right about plankton being easier to catch, though you didn’t think the tiny organisms would count so you just ate them.

You’d barely caught your first fish when you felt something shift in the water behind you. Was Killer back already or did he just want to mess with you? Make you lose focus.

“If you want to win, you should go back to hunting.” You commented over your shoulder.

There was a pause.

“I’m sorry. I don’t believe that was meant for me.” Sung a new voice.

You spun sharply around. Your eyes landed on the most beautiful siren you’d ever seen.(don’t tell the boys) A golden crown on his head shimmered with a light that was rivaled by his friendly smile. His lower half hovered gently with two translucent fins as his tail curled gently under him, not quite touching the floor.

A seahorse siren.

“I don’t believe we have met.” He politely crossed his hands in front of him and tipped his head. He was surprisingly almost twice your length. “I am Dream. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh! Uh, I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you too, Dream.” You tipped your head as well. “What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I am on a mission to find my brother. He… He is in a bit of trouble and I wish to get him out. But first I must find him.” Dream glanced around, concern written on his face.

Another seahorse siren? You hadn’t seen anyone that looked like Dream. You gave him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, I haven’t seen anyone.”

Dream nodded and gave you a sad smile back. “I should hope not.”

…

That wasn’t freaky at all.

“Ooookay?” You drifted carefully away, looking around for Killer. Where was that obnoxious skeleton when you needed him?

“Oh, I’m sorry, y/n!” Dream gasped, his eyes wide. “I did not mean to startle you! He is just very dangerous and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Are you a new siren?”

You hesitated but answered honestly. “…Yes. Why?”

“When you get as old as me, it’s easy to see when someone is unsteady on their fins. Are you in good company?” His tone grew concerned as he became serious. Like he was hinting at something dark.

“I’d say so. I was welcomed into the pod after they helped me convert so I’m not alone.”

Dream sighed with relief. “So it was conversion by consent. Good. That’s good. How are you adapting?”

That was a lot of questions that felt very close to personal information. You grew defensive. “Why do you need to know?” You accused.

“I just want to make sure you are doing well. It is very difficult for others to adapt to the water. If you are uncomfortable, I’d like to fix that.” He gave you a patient smile. Dream was offering you a different home.

“Well, thank you, sir. But my pod has been very nice to me. I will be staying with them.” You turned back towards your food. Right. There was a race going on and you were getting distracted.

“Wonderful.” Dream’s smile was in his voice. “Would you like any help hunting?”

Oh.

Oh, that was a great idea.

You gave the beautiful siren a smile. “Sure! I’m already behind and could use the help.”

The two of you collected enough fish for two Horrors, chatting all the while. You spoke of your life before the sea. He spoke of his interactions with people on the land. Jokes were traded as were laughs.

Dream followed you back to the place Killer said to meet.

“It was wonderful getting to know you, y/n.” Dream smiled happily, placing the fish in a pile with yours.

“You too. Thank you for helping me hunt. I’m don’t think I could have caught this many without you.” You admitted.

He laughed. “It was no problem. I’ve helped a siren before. He also was new to the sea but he wasn’t converted like you. He accidentally escaped captivity and was lost when me and Ink found him. We had to raise him like a guppy. I think you would have liked to meet him. His name was Cross.”

“Oh! You know Cro-?”

“DREAM!!!”

Dream’s expression went from fond to furious in a second as he spun towards the voice, magic pooling into his hands. Killer tackled him before the magic could form.

“You crazy! Suicidal! Shark!” Dream snapped, fighting Killer’s teeth away from his face. Dream was shockingly stronger than Killer but Killer was fast.

“Killer! Stop!” You yelled at the chaos. “It’s fine! He’s a friend!”

Killer growled and shoved Dream away. “That is no friend, y/n! Don’t trust him!”

With the added space, Dream’s magic formed into a bow with a glowing harpoon aimed at Killer. Dream growled back at the shark. “Don’t. Move. Killer.” Killer glared at the bow, his soul twitching in front of his chest. If you hadn’t spent so much time with him, you wouldn’t have realized that Killer was scared. Dream’s eyes shot to you. “Y/n. Get out of here and find your pod. I will take care of this feral siren.” Killer snarled.

You snapped. “You leave him alone, Dream! What is wrong with you two??”

Dream looked shocked so Killer answered. “Y/n. Dream attacked Boss first. We’ve fought before. He only ever hunts Nightmare through the oceans.”

“I did not attack first!” Dream said, snapping out of his confusion. “Your ‘Boss’ murdered thousands of people!”

“And you haven’t?” Killer parried.

“Of course I haven’t!!!!!” The seahorse looked and sounded insulted.

“Dream? What are you doing all the way out…? Oh.”

Everyone looked to see a third skeleton siren. This siren was colorful with a purple question mark for one eyelight and a blue octagon in the other. He glanced between the two aggressive sirens when his eyes caught on you. He blinked and suddenly his eyelights switched to a blue star and a yellow exclamation mark.

“Oh! Hello! You’re new!” The new siren chirped. He came closer to you and you saw that his lower half was a dull grey squid. A very big, striped squid.

“Ink! Get them out of here!” Dream commanded.

All hell broke loose.

Killer attacked Dream, Dream’s harpoon hit Killer’s shoulder, and a grey tentacle wrapped around your waist. You yelped as Ink sped away with you in tow.

“Killer!!!” You called out.

Killer looked up from his frenzy, white eyelights visible in terrified concern. “Y/n!!!”

Market

A Mermay Prompt

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Orcas liked toys right?

Would it be offensive to get a siren a toy?

You walked through the marketplace. It sat right by the docks but high enough above sea level to keep away from the tide. There was a reason for that, as half of the town had been swept away by a violent storm decades ago. That’s what you could piece together at least. Everyone told you a different story. The prince of the sea was angry at a sailor for doing him wrong. Two giant leviathans had gotten into a fight and caused the storm. Someone was selling the wrong fish on the wrong day. A few poachers had come through and “caused the storm??”

It was all nonsense to you.

You learned quickly just how fast gossip spread in the little town. With all the superstitious sailors and fishermen, something casual like seeing a crow eat a berry could turn into a blown out of proportion omen of death, plague, or murder. Anything and everything had to have a reason. You stubbed your toe on the way to work? Bad omen. Two fish swam around your feet when you went swimming? You’ll find your soulmate soon. Waves crashed against the rocks twice in a row? Big storm coming.

Absolutely ridiculous.

You entered the shop you were looking for, the bell announcing your arrival.

“Oh! Hey, y/n! Long time no see!” Greeted the clerk with a wave.

“Hello, Mister Ron.” You answered and turned to look at the displays.

There were a lot of toys to choose from. The beach balls, volleyballs, footballs, and frisbees were built to float on the water. Then there were the things that didn’t float. Buckets and shovels for sand castles, custom shoes with fun patterns on the soles to leave in the sand, and those fun torpedos and rings that sank to the sea floor for you to find again. Last but not least, there was a rack of plushies, all different sea creatures. Absently, you grabbed an orca plush and, after a moment’s hesitation, grabbed a shark plush as well.

“Anything I can help you with?” Ron asked from the counter.

You gave him a smile. “No, thanks.”

“You got family coming over?” Ugh. He was looking for gossip. Just like everyone else.

“No.”

“Friends?”

“No one is coming over.”

“C’mon, y/n! Don’t leave me hanging!” He teased.

Flashes of Killer saying something very similar made you pause. The teasing voice. The way he grinned at you as if nothing was wrong. Begging for information… and willing to kill you over it.

C’mon! Don’t leave me driftin’!

Do you know how easy it would be to sing those last notes?

You grabbed the closest thing and went to checkout. You had to get out of here. Ron gave you an odd look but didn’t pry as you bolted out of the shop. Your car was cranked and you sped home.

On second thought…

You turned to head to the beach instead.

Waves greeted you as you entered your alcove. Cross was nowhere to be seen. You groaned and sat on the rocky beach, the bag from the store still in your hand. Thankfully, you’d left the plushies in the car, but somehow still grabbed the bag. You reached in and pulled out a red ringed frisbee. Like the glowing thing Killer had on his chest.

You sighed and flopped onto your back. You really didn’t want to think about the shark siren but everything was reminding you of those encounters. The clerk, the shark plushie, the frisbee, even staring up at the sky reminded you of how he’d stargazed with you, his eyelights twinkling at the sight. He’d looked so harmless for a moment. Just a boy that got to see the stars for the first time.

“Ugh!” You stood up grabbed the frisbee and launched it at the horizon. The wind carried it further than you expected before in finally landed in the water.

Dang it, you could still see it!

You snatched up the plastic bag and stuffed it in your pocket. You weren’t going to litter, even if you were upset. Casting one last look, you hoped Cross was okay, you turned you back on the water to head home.

With a scratching sound, the frisbee landed next to you.

“That was fun! Do it again!” Came the familiar voice you didn’t want to hear.

Speak of the devil and he shall come.

You turned around slowly to see Killer propped up on a rock, his tail wagging behind him. The red thing you’d noticed before was floating boldly in front of his rib cage in the shape of a target. Wasn’t it a heart before?

His brow rose as you continued to stare. “Like what you see, y/n?” He grinned.

You looked at your feet where the frisbee still sat. “You want me to throw the frisbee again?”

“Frisbee.” He tested the word. “Can you throw it farther?”

“I didn’t even think it would go as far as it did.” You admitted.

The red rings above his chest twisted. That looked painful. “Then I’ll be able to catch it before it hits the water.” He challenged.

Something in you clicked at the challenge and you looked back up at him with a grin on your face. “Bet. You’ll never get there in time.” You picked up the frisbee.

His face lit up. “Oh! It’s on! Throw it, frisbee master! And watch me teach you a lesson!”

You threw it and a giant splash announced Killer’s scramble to catch it first. He got under it in record time and shot you a smug grin across the water. You smiled back and crossed your arms as the frisbee glided closer and closer to the siren until…

It arched sideways and hit the water several meters away from him.

You laughed at his look of confusion. After a few seconds of flabbergasted staring, Killer angrily snatched the frisbee out of the water and swam back to where you were laughing on the beach.

“What was that!? What did you do?!” He demanded, tossing the frisbee at you.

“I didn’t do anything!” You giggled. “The frisbee does that by itself!”

His grin widened. “Again.” He growled.

You nodded and sent the frisbee flying again.

And again, it arched to the side out of his reach.

“Why does it keep doing that?!?!”

“Because-.”

“Again!”

Several failed attempts later and you had to dodge the frisbee he launched at you.

“This is stupid!!” Killer snapped, his tail thrashing in the water. “Why does it do that?!”

“Will you let me explain?”

He glared at you. “…Fine. Explain.”

You held up the frisbee. “This bottom side is made to hold air under it while it flies. As long as it’s spinning, it won’t have a problem holding itself up. But,” You tipped the frisbee. “If it stops spinning, it becomes unbalanced and the frisbee will fall off the pocket of air it made and swing to the side. That’s why it keeps doing that.”

“Why does it stop spinning?”

“Because it was thrown too far with nothing to make it spin. When I throw it, I try my hardest to make it spin for as long as possible but over the water it has nothing to do but glide until it can’t spin anymore.”

“Well, how do I catch it?”

You smiled. “You have to over prepare for it to change course. Watch the way it wobbles before it falls.” You threw it without warning and he was gone.

His dorsal fin sped out to where the frisbee hovered and his head poked out of the water. He watched as it wobbled, arched, and hit the water without making an effort to catch it. He brought it back and repeated the process three more times.

On the fourth try he brought it back with a grin on his face.

“This time.” Was all he said.

The frisbee went flying.

His fin circled the area below it when it started wobbling. He shot to one side and came out of the water as it arched towards him. He stretched for it, it went over his head and…

He caught it.

“WOOOOOOOO!!!” He screamed in triumph, holding the frisbee above his head.

You watched him pump his fists into the air as you laughed and realized;

You’d just spent the entire day with Killer.

He hadn’t even threatened you.

And you’d laughed.

Huh.

Maybe you’d just gotten off on the wrong foot.

Or fin.

Reblogging for the remaining time

Let’s try this again!

Omg…

Sharp Teeth

A Mermay Prompt

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“Uh, Dust? You awake?”

No answer.

Cross shot you a concerned look from the opening of the dark cave. “I brought a new friend. If… you wanted to meet them.”

“…”

“…Okay. We’ll leave you alone.” Cross swam back to you. “I guess Dust isn’t up yet and neither is boss so you can’t meet them just yet. For right now you can stay in my cave until we find you a better one.”

You nodded. It was really cool down here. Last time you were here you just saw Cross’s cave, your human eyes unable to see much farther than what was in front of you. Now, you could see that his cave was settled next to several others with a small crevasse in between that got deeper in one direction. You couldn’t see the bottom of the crevasse in that direction, it just turned black at a certain distance.

Cross had sent Killer and Horror out hunting, prompting them to share, before showing you around. He didn’t enter anyone else’s cave and encouraged you to do the same. Not that you wanted to. Especially with two unknown sirens in the mix. That didn’t mean you weren’t curious.

After following Cross back to his cave, he laid down to rest and encouraged you to as well wherever because you needed rest after all that. His cave was plenty big enough and gave you a lot of space to choose from as he settled down.

You awkwardly settled yourself next to him. Not close enough to touch but not too far away. Cross smiled at you before closing his sockets to sleep.

You closed your eyes too.

…

Several hours later, you realized that you couldn’t sleep. You had too much energy. Killer’s magic was still stirring in your system, and there was so much you hadn’t seen yet. You could breathe underwater! A gift like that was not to be wasted.

Careful not to wake Cross with your movement, you slipped out of his cave to explore a little.

The crevasse wasn’t quite as pretty as Cross’s den, but that didn’t matter all that much. Little fish darted around the caves in schools and, when you looked close enough, you could see crabs and shrimp picking food particles out of the water. They all shied away from you when you got close but the curious shrimp came back. When offered, they inspected your hand and started cleaning it. You let them for a minute before moving on. You had energy. You needed to move.

Inspecting the terrain, you swam up and down the crevasse a few times until something shiny caught your eye. You looked over to see something in the darkness of Dust’s cave glittering at you. You slowly approached to get a better look but made sure not to enter the cave.

The little shiny thing shimmered and moved. Maybe it was a small fish? That would make sense with it being such a bright blue color. A red one joined it a little to the left. You smiled. It was cute. They almost looked like eyes staring back at you.

They blinked.

Wait…

You reeled back as the eyes shot at you a hooded skeleton launched into view. He grabbed your tail when you tried to get away and opened his mouth to bite.

His teeth looked sharp as needles as you noticed something strange in his mouth.

A second jaw.

In a whirlwind, something tackled Dust and sent you both in different directions.

“Hey, Dusty~! How’s it going?” Killer sang as Dust shoved him away.

“You can’t keep every kill to yourself, Killer.” Dust snapped.

When you finally got a good look at your attacker you realized you still couldn’t see all of him. His eel half was stretched out to reach where he was but he still sat comfortably in his den.

Killer gave him a cheeky grin. “I’m not~.”

A hand gently grabbed your elbow and you turned to see Horror next to you. He nodded at you and Dust noticed.

“Horror. What is going on? Who is that?” Dust questioned.

Horror tipped his head at you. “Friend… We helped her… convert.”

Dust sighed. “Well, keep a leash on your pet. I thought they were an intruder.”

You squeaked in indignation. A pet!?

“Heheh.” Killer chuckled. “Maybe we should get a leash.”

You screamed at him as Horror held you back. You were gonna kill him. Oh my stars.

“Not pet… Y/n is a friend. Helped… me.” Horror defended. He seemed surprisingly comfortable talking to Dust.

The eel raised a brow at you, still addressing Horror. “Well then, let me know if you need any help with them.” With that he retreated back into his den. He didn’t turn around though. He just backed up, his long coiled end pulling him in.

It was creepy.

He flashed a toothy grin when he caught your eye before vanishing in the darkness.

You shivered.

“Wow.” Killer commented. “That was fast.” Horror nodded.

Confused, you trilled in question, hoping they’d understand you.

Killer turned towards Cross’s den. “Dust likes you already. He offered to help. Dust never offers to help.”

“You.” Horror butted in with a smirk. “You make helping… hard.”

Killer shrugged. “Skill issue.”

You laughed.

Killer and Horror led you back to where Cross was still sleeping. Killer pounced on him.

A flurry of bubbles and a roar was all you could make out of the chaos that happened before Killer hurried back to you.

“KILLER!!!!!” Cross roared.

“Crossy~!” Killer sang. “Dust almost killed y/n and you were too asleep to do anything about it!”

You blushed at Killer’s bluntness. It was your own fault. You shouldn’t have left.

Cross’s eyes found you next to Horror. “Are you okay, y/n?”

You nodded but Horror pushed your face to the side. You squeaked as he unceremoniously flipped you over by the tail and showed Cross the small scratches you got from Dust grabbing you.

Horror’s voice came out in a slight growl. “Someone wasn’t… watching them.”

“They were supposed to be asleep.” Cross deflected.

You chittered in annoyance and gestured aggressively at Killer, indicating that his magic made it hard to sleep.

Killer gave an innocent grin. “I’m sorry, y/n. What did you say?” He teased.

You screeched and thrashed in Horror’s hold, trying to get at Killer for the second time today.

“Would you look at that. It hasn’t even been a full day and you already can’t stand Killer.” Cross pointed out. “Welcome to the pod.”

“Hey!” Killer glared playfully. “I’m the life of the party and you know it!” Horror shoved him.

“You yourself are a party, Killer.”

You froze as the new voice boomed around you and the currents of the crevasse grew quick and violent. What was that?

“Boss!” Killer cheered. “You’re up!”

Still upside down, you stared with wide eyes down at a singular cyan eye in the darkness of the trench, the eye itself was huge. It narrowed when it saw you.

“What is this, Horror? Why is there a stranger in our home?” Came the voice of the darkness. You shivered and curled towards Horror.

Horror let you go and you hid behind him. “This is…y/n. We met them… on the shore. Befriended… Killer and Cross… Fed me. They asked to… be siren.” He said slowly yet proud.

The narrowed eye softened and blinked at you. “Ah. Welcome, y/n. Let me introduce myself.”

The currents violently shifted again as the darkness rose from the trench, becoming solid in the form of giant black tentacles that reached out and pulled a giant skeleton siren out of the trench, which you could see the bottom of now that he wasn’t there. As he came into the light you noticed that one eye was covered in a thick substance that looked like it was dripping.

“I am Nightmare, guardian of negativity and the darkness. I am proud to be the first leviathan to welcome you to the oceans.” He tipped his head politely.

You chirped back as politely as you could.

Seeing a kraken on a regular basis was going to take some getting used to.

Let’s try this again!

Omg…