Blockadebilly - B E E S !

I think there’s a reason why he feels alone. He is. 

actually can we please talk about the logistics of keeping a secret child????

because it’s not as easy as just never mentioning them ever. 

you take down all the photos. you have a second son that you have decided you will never talk to about this original child, so you’ve also got to convince a nine year old girl not to tell. i remember being a nine year old girl. we cannot keep secrets. you gotta convince her, really convince her that this is what’s best, and you gotta outright ban her from talking about that original child lest the new one overhear. you’ve gotta talk to everyone in your family and convince them that its for the best. you’ve gotta talk to your neighbours - no, you’ve gotta move house. 

probably towns, cities, states. can’t send the kids to the same old school; the teachers might recognise the name. can’t send the kids to the same hospital or dentist or risk them interacting with someone who knew the secret child. gotta bury that kid deep. 

gotta take all his things and successfully hide them or throw them out - if you hide them, you can reuse them with the new son and not tell him that his new clothes actually belonged to his old brother. that bike is secondhand but you dont tell him where from. oh? this kid likes sports too? good thing you didn’t get rid of that old ball and catcher’s mitt. and, of course, you have to purge all the photo albums, just in case the new child gets curious. 

and there you have it: you spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, moved, made entirely new friends and threatened the old ones to never talk about it, and traumatised the two children who didn’t die, just to forget an old photo of your secret child in a box you were giving to that daughter you rested the weight of the world on the shoulders of

nice job buckley parents, you fucked up perfectly good children is what you did. look at what you made. they’ve got anxiety.

what about him? he’s got parents, a sister, a girlfriend, and he never did anything to you. collateral damage. insp;

you are enough

post-4x04 pre-4x05 ficlet for @renecdote

Buck is jealous of a dead boy. It’s ridiculous and unfair, but it’s like he’s twelve years old again, and the feeling coils tight and hot in his chest. His hands tremble where he grips the photograph, and he tries his best not to crease it, doesn’t want to ruin this precious thing that somehow meant more to his parents than the children they still had. 

The thing is, Buck has spent his whole life feeling like he’s a step behind, living in the shadow of someone he could never name. He’d done everything he could think of to break down the barrier between him and his parents, but he never could. Never knew why. Now he’s got a name for that shadow, a face, but it doesn’t feel any better. 

“Daniel,” he says. He hates that it comes out bitter, because the boy in this photo—his brother—doesn’t deserve it. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d simply had the audacity to live just long enough for his parents to pour their love into him, and then take it with him to the grave. 

Keep reading