Okay. So I Went To See John Mulaney At Red Rocks. There Was A Surprise Opener.

Okay. So I went to see John Mulaney at Red Rocks. There was a surprise opener.

It was Dave Fucking Chapelle.

The second he came on stage, I was scared. By the time he was done, I thought I was going to throw up. My sister actually left and had a breakdown.

I don’t have a video (phone locks) but here’s as exact a transcript as I can manage:

TW AHEAD: transphobia, ableism, implied rape, implied bestiality, racism, sexual topics

* I had a special come out a little while ago.

* The people who got upset by it, I guess they didn’t listen all the way until the end. Because I didn’t have a problem with trans people. I really didn’t.

* But I do now!! (Cue uproarious laughter)

* And there was such a backlash. I mean, an uproar. And now I can’t tell jokes about transgender people ever again. And I won’t…ON TV

* If I were to tell my producers “hey, I identify as Chinese”

* And then I came in [offensive Ching Chong impression] and the one Chinese guy there was like, this isn’t right.

* Or what if I were sent to prison. And I’d say, no, man. I’m a woman. I identify as a woman. Im going to woman’s prison. And guess the first thing I’d do when I got in there??

* “Yeah, you bitches better do my laundry or I’m gonna…”

* To a disabled girl in the front row:

* So does that dog actually help with anything or just keep you company?

* Do you think if you put a little peanut butter down there he’d…yeah, I bet he would. He’d help you out. You ever put a little peanut butter down there? You ever done that?

* Can he pick stuff up? Like, can he up pick beer bottles? He can? I’ll give you 700 dollars for that dog. Right now.

* Later, to 2 girls in the audience: hey, you girls? Boys? Does it even matter anymore?

This transcript does not include jokes comparing Ukraine to Vietnam, jokes about Russia’s ineffectiveness (like he wants them to succeed??) or John Mulaney’s post-set comments about Dave being one of his best friends.

Tl;dr: I was forced to see Dave Chapelle. His jokes included comparing transgender people to racists and rapists. He also encouraged a disabled person in the audience to force her service dog to perform oral sex on her.

Please reblog this if you can, for evidence of his continued transphobia. I’d really hate my Chapelle nightmare to be for nothing.

☆ like or reblog if you save!! art by n0yunn

OKAY! another poll for the dalton fic bc i cant think of any ideas (please give me ideas im having major block)

hear me out. obanai flower shop au.

i am going to write this when i get the motivation, which will hopefully not be at 3 AM

Some fun facts regarding real life Nakahara Chuuya

According to the book “文豪どうかしてる逸話集,” one time when Nakahara Chuuya got drunk, he went to Dazai Osamu’s house and cursed “moron! moron!” in front of his face. Dazai’s reaction to this sudden abuse is said to be hiding under his blanket and cried.

(real life Nakahara Chuuya)

When the Blue Flower Club went drinking, Chuuya got drunk and started harassing Dazai, saying: “ Why the hell do your face looks like a flying blue mackerel? What kind of flower do you like anyway?” Dazai, with trembling voice, answered: “Peach Blossom,” to which Chuuya replied: “ Tch, that’s why you suck.”

(real life Dazai Osamu)

  Since Chuuya had this tendency to being rude and straight forward, Dazai once decsribed him as “ a guy glistening like a slug. I really cannot hang out with him.” There are many more stories about Chuuya being a gremlin to people around him. It’s said that one time Chuuya yelled: “ Hey you damn governor” at Sakaguchi Ango while staying one meter away from him, because Chuuya was smaller in size compared to Ango and couldn’t win in a fight.

(real life Sakaguchi Ango)

 Another time when the group of friends were drinking, a drunk Chuuya smashed a bottle on Nakamura Mitsuo’s head, yelling: “Imma kill you.” When his friend scolded him for acting so terriblly, Chuuya started crying and shouted: “I’M SAD!”

(the poor victim Nakamura Mitsuo)

Will: I made tea.

Nico: I don’t want tea.

Will: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Nico: Then why are you telling me?

Will: It is a conversation starter.

Nico: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Will: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.