He Gets Pushed Back, And He Takes A Bit Of A Stumble But He Doesn't Take It Personally, He Just Smirks

He gets pushed back, and he takes a bit of a stumble but he doesn't take it personally, he just smirks at Topper as he steps up to him. ❝ That's the thing, you're not doing anything behind closed doors. ❞ Rafe shouldn't be poking the bear, but it's kind of fun to watch Topper get worked up like this. He can't help it. Well, he could.

He just doesn't want too.

❝ Yeah, you'd do anything. Name one time you've told her no. I'll wait.❞

"Hold up, hold up. You think I'd do ANYTHING she asked me to?" He questions his best friend. Even though it's true, Topper would do anything for Sarah, he wants to hear it from Rafe's mouth so he can punch him. "Mind fucked? Seriously?!" He pushes his friend back. "Dude. Shut the fuck up right now. I am NOT mind fucked, and anything that Sarah and I do behind closed doors is none of your business."

🐝  *  ―  𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑴 𝑫𝑰𝑨𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑼𝑬 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑷𝑻. 𝑰.

❛  it was wrong of me to assume you're ever gonna change.  ❜ ❛  that's it? it was all just a lie?  ❜ ❛  shame on me for thinking you were a good person.  ❜ ❛  you're gonna pay for what you did to me.  ❜ ❛  you didn't hear a word of what i just said, did you?  ❜ ❛  believe me, you weren't my first choice either.  ❜ ❛  if you've got a problem with the way i handle things, just say so.  ❜ ❛  do you think we're gonna survive this?  ❜ ❛  what's your problem?!  ❜ ❛  will you please slow down a little?  ❜ ❛  i can't believe you would do something like that.  ❜ ❛  did it mean anything to you?  ❜ ❛  i'm never gonna be good enough for you.  ❜ ❛  we were just fooling ourselves this whole time.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, i didn't know where else to go.  ❜ ❛  i don't want to argue with you anymore.  ❜ ❛  fine. you were right, and i was wrong. happy now?  ❜ ❛  this day feels like it's never gonna end.  ❜ ❛  i didn't think you'd care so much.  ❜ ❛  this must be like the first time you were nice to me.  ❜ ❛  out of all the people here, why do i have to be stuck with you?  ❜ ❛  do you want to go on a date with me?  ❜ ❛  honestly, i don't think i wanna leave the house today.  ❜ ❛  were you ever planning on telling me about all of this?  ❜ ❛  i wish i had another choice.  ❜ ❛  don't flatter yourself, a fifth-grader could've done this as well.  ❜ ❛  you're the most insufferable person i have ever met.  ❜ ❛  here, you look like you need this more than me right now.  ❜ ❛  oh, just so you know, i don't ever lose this game.  ❜ ❛  just let me sleep for five more minutes.  ❜ ❛  alright, is there anything else we have to do before they arrive?  ❜ ❛  do you believe in ghosts?  ❜ ❛  i wish we had more time together.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to leave just yet ... you could stay the night if you wanted to.  ❜ ❛  where are you taking me?  ❜ ❛  trust me, this is the last thing i want to do.  ❜ ❛  i need more time to think about what i want.  ❜ ❛  why didn't you say anything earlier? we could've avoided this whole mess.  ❜ ❛  i don't feel so good, i think i may be getting sick.  ❜ ❛  help me! please!  ❜

new looks 🧊

𝖧𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 ; he would only ruin her. Those were his words and he said them repeatedly like a mantra. And yet as she stands before him now telling him what she needs, and how she needs more time that's when he knows she took his words to heart.

And it hurts more than he ever thought possible.

Mary had been his pillar through the storms, someone to reach to when things got topsy-turvy. Even as he pleased that she go before his demons latched on to her too ; he never thought she'd actually leave.

There is a part of him that can't be angry about it - he wanted this. He needed this. For her to remain unscathed from his form of unhinged. And yet ...

❝ All those times you wanted me to let you in ... ❞ he murmurs. ❝ Those times you said you'd stay, what were those ...? ❞ Does he want to call them lies? No, he couldn't handle it if that's what they were.

❛ 𝗂 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍. ❜ - 𝖬𝖺𝗋𝗒 @wachtraeumen

TW: Drug use, attempted murder, murder, etc. I am in no way a therapist or someone with a degree or studies such things outside of her own interest. I am not a specialist on this matter, and this is all speculation.

Daddy & mommy issues ( one plotting out his entire life and the other leaving, then we have Rose who…I think she doesn't give a fk as much as she lets on? I feel like she's just there because she either loves Ward, loves his money, or she's dickmatized. I said it.)

His entire life plotted out by dad, doing what he can to make dad happy but always seeming to fall short to Sarah, the middle, the favorite. And he doesn't understand why.

Ward not hesitating to tell Rafe when he's fucked up to his face.

He probably didn't get to express himself or be himself at all, ever. He had to be what daddy wanted and daddy clearly still didn't want him nor did mom because why else would she just poof ?

I believe his drug use, especially cocaine is self medicating. Not only to numb how he feels and how he can't show how he feels because his father would tell him to 'man up' but also because he may suffer from bipolar disorder / schizophrenia (this is speculation both from myself and reddits plus my experience with these disorders within my family.) After all he told Ward he isn't well and Rose even comments he wasn't right since age 10, so … getting mental help is not something that's going to happen in that family. So what does he do? What can he do? Drugs are making him feel better and that's what he knows to use. So it also makes sense when he cries when he's out. Not only is he crashing from the high, the withdrawl, emotions are probably flooding and it's a shit feeling.

While yes, he did kill someone and that is not justified, he did it to prove to his dad he's the loyal one, he's the one who is there for the family, he is the one willing to put himself on the line for the family, for HIM. For WARD. to get that praise from dad he's not getting. I also do not believe he intended on killing Peterkin and believed his dad when he said he'd call for help. But Ward didn't. And no it wasn't to protect Rafe, it was to protect himself. Though I think he knows he fucked up he's now in survival mode. Plus coming off of coke cold turkey? While fighting mental illnesses? Yeah, good luck buddy. When he shoots Sarah it's on accident, but he has to act like he doesn't care, truth is he cares he shot Sarah. But I believe with Sarah choosing the pogues over family, over him and not understanding where he's coming form ( which is hard to do, no lie ) he lashes out. I feel he does love Sarah, but feels she doesn't love him anymore or see what he's trying to do. ( Again, from his POV, it's really hard to be the outsider looking at what he's doing and get it because we're not in his head. ) Though again, does not justify him trying to kill his sister.

What he is going through could be a drug induced psychosis or a break down, or both.

Him being an asshole I think also comes from the drugs / the alpha male mentality brought on by daddy Ward, plus he's rich, he can get away with anything … so he does. Because clearly Ward has showed him as long as you have money you can get away with anything. I truly believe he wants help ; but no one wants to help him in the way he needs it and he can't ask for it because that's showing weakness. I mean the dude did tell his dad he's not okay and his dad's reply was just 'man up' and even slapped him so, that's repeated but it's a point I gotta make.