I Need...I Need...I NEED A GHOST X LATINA READER URGENTLY

i need...I need...I NEED A GHOST X LATINA READER URGENTLY

OR ONLY 141 X LATINA READER POR FAVOR

i'm going to go crazy, i can't stop imagining reader talking to them in her thick latin accent (and it gets extremely strong when she's mad

Drunk fem reader x Ghost

((I’m very drunk so excuse the spelling errors lol))

Drunk reader got a little too drunk (lightweight drunk fuck) ghost is literally dating them and is forced to take em home where their a little needy, thoughts?

(I'll probs forget I requested this in morning 🫣👀🤣) LOL

Heya, sorry this took so long! But yeah, I can do that for you! :) Hopefully where I went with it is okay with you!

Drunk Fem Reader x Simon 'Ghost' Riley

cw: alcohol intake, lightweight drunk lol, flirting/some slight sexual tension, needy reader, est relationship

It's been a long night of drinking with your boyfriend's teammates. At first you laughed at them for trying to outdrink each other, but you got a big head as you subconsciously joined, thinking you could keep up. You couldn't. They were drinking the finest whiskey of this hole-in-the-wall bar, whooping and hollering in celebration of their latest successful mission.

You were sat next to Simon, resting your head on his shoulder. You had a lot of pent up energy at first, excited to see your man after such a long time, happy to spend some time with his best mates. But drink after drink, drink after drink, and drink after drink, you were losing that energy, that composure.

"Y'alright, luv?" Simon whispered in your ear.

You nodded with closed eyes. Keeping them open was killing you, the bright lights, the reflection off the tables, the party chatter becoming too much as the room was spinning.

"Wan' another shot?" he asked, as he was about to pour you another drink he paused, chuckling. "No, you're fuckin' pissed, doll."

"N-no, I'm good," you lied. You didn't want to take away his fun just because you were a lightweight. "One more shot, baby, please."

"Oh, no," he pushed the drink away. "No more for you, we're takin' you home, luv."

You whined when he said no, but he helped you stand up with his arm around you. He nodded to his men as he bid his goodbyes, helping you as you stumbled out of the bar to his truck.

--

You must have passed out for the ride home, because you slowly lifted your head awake in your driveway, Simon walking around to help you out of the vehicle.

"Come on," he grunted, lifting you bridal style into your apartment. "Lightweight princess."

"Simon..." you played. You fumbled in your pockets for your key, not finding it. You almost freak out until you hear him unlocking the door. Ohhh, he has a key.

He carried you to your bed, which you splayed across comfortably, sighing from relief as you suddenly needed to take off your pants, leaving yourself in your shirt and panties. He walked out, quickly returning with a cold cloth and a cup of water. You lulled your head towards his direction with your half-lidded eyes until your vision finally focused.

"Hey handsome," you flirted.

"Don't start that, ya little minx," he teased as he sat down, holding the water out to you. His hand rubs small circles on your hip. Your drunken, needy brain fixated on the sensation, fire rising up your spine as you giggled. He held the water out further to you as you finally took it.

"You're so beautiful," he complimented, looking at you with an entertained gaze. "Even when you're drunk."

Your cheeks flushed red. He wiped your face with the cold cloth in attempts to soothe you. Then, your stomach rumbled. Ooh. Suddenly you had a deep, deep craving for your favorite sweets you had stashed away in the kitchen.

"Simon?" by your tone of voice, he knew you wanted something.

"What is it, luv?"

"Will you go get my sweets, baby?" you pouted, looking at him with your best puppy-dog eyes.

He laughed as he got up with no hesitation. "Yes, luv."

He made his way to the door before you perked up again at another need.

"Ooh! And could you... get me more water?" you hold out your empty glass to him.

"Anything else, princess?"

"Crackers?"

He nodded, finally walking into the hallway.

"And my favorite blanket!" you hollered.

"Simon!"

"When you get back, can we cuddle?"

"Yes, dear," you heard his deep voice echo.

--

He returned with everything you asked for. Your sweets, some crackers, water, your favorite blanket. He then laid down behind you, wrapping the blanket around the both of you. You ate your snacks and hydrated yourself before turning around, snuggling into his chest. You tossed and you turned, but for some reason couldn't get quite comfortable.

You finally draped your leg across his as he almost cradled you in the new position. "Hm," you hummed as you felt his warm skin against your cheek.

He sighed a deep breath at his own comfort, reaching up to remove his mask.

"I'm so lucky," you bit your lip, leaning up to kiss him. You both softly moaned into the kiss as you instantly became putty underneath him, but you sighed as he hesitantly pulled away.

"Y'need some rest, babe," he rasped. "But fuck, 'm lucky, too."

--

neteyam was born to la la la la la la but was forced to ok ok ok ok ok :(

Ghost

Neteyam x Metkayina!Reader

Neteyam left this world too early. The emptiness everyone feels is palpable- you don't know how to go on. But you're not so important. Your name is Kanu -meaning smart, or intelligent, in Na'vi- and sometimes you feel anything but. As a Metkayina villager, you feel that you don't have any reason to actually miss Neteyam so much. So why does Eywa keep bringing you to him, in the Spirit Tree?

Word Count: 10k

Genre: Slow burn, friends to lovers, grieving/mourning, post ATWOW

Originally posted on AO3 in December 2022

The puddle grows larger as you stab it with your foot. Digging in your toes into the pale grains of sand, you watch as the little molecules of water begin to swirl.

You’re deep in thought. You’re wondering about your place in the world, and you see a tiny, baby tsiki- a reef tick or crab- emerge out of the sand . It pinches it’s claws together- it’s an extremely alluring green shade, and you point one of your turquoise feet at it.

It blinks all four eyes before suddenly seizing forward, click clacking and tutting before pinching your big toe.

“Ah, kehe! ” You screech, meaning no, and you inhale, before kicking the tsiki off and huffing, wrapping your arms around yourself. Usually tsiki are meant to be gentle, not harmful- they often pluck sand out of your toenails and seaweed out of your curly hair- but this one is just a baby, and is clearly curious and weird. It scuttles away into the deep blue waters, and you sigh.

“Kanu.” Tsireya stands before you, and she motions her hand in an oel-ngati-kameie, I-See-you gesture, before sitting down next to you on the knitted stringy material of the bridges connecting the marui, the woven structures that inhabit your village. You repeat the action. “Why did you leave? Lo’ak and Kiri are worried.”

“Tsireya.” You turn to your dearest friend- you’ve grown up with her, and she has always been comforting and sweet. She always knows just what to say. 

But after the Sky People attacked the reef- after they practically flipped your world upside down, causing nearly permanent damage, you felt like you could’ve died in that moment. And even though that was scary, what really terrified you was that your life flashed before your eyes, and you could not think of anything notable, anything special about yourself. Nothing good, no sense of call or action. 

Really just in the background at all times.

Tsireya, the sweetheart that she is, does not really always understand. She is beautiful- you see other boys in the tribe stare her down all the time, and it’s not with the usual annoyance or indifference that they stare at you with. That, and she’s very clever, and kind, and she’s the daughter of the Olo’eyktan. She was always meant to be special.

You, on the other hand? The Metkayina daughter of two ordinary parents. They do not think less of you, in fact, they are always going on about how smart you are to stay back from danger, from anything that could put you in harm’s way. But you do not do this on purpose- you just feel that you are already rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things, so what would be the point? To try and play the hero? Be someone that ultimately, you are not?

You can never figure out when to strike like Tsireya, Aonung and Rotxo seem to know. Your ilu is forgiving- she pulls you through the water at a pace you’re good to deal with- but forget hunting. You do your best.

You are not pretty. Your hair stays pulled back unappealingly in a braided bun, and your bangs are straight and wispy. Your eyes are always skeptical, which you know throws many off. It’s not that you can’t smile and play nice- you just like to figure people out.

But to know how you look, how you just… lack the attractiveness that Tsireya seems to exude so easily, it hurts you. Especially when you feel like you like someone, and they could never feel the same about you, because you’re just impossibly awkward.

Still, you miss him. You miss Neteyam. You wish you had, just this once, taken the risk- told him that you like him. He was always responsible, strong-hearted. The only one to ask if you were okay or how you were doing, and he would actually listen. It never felt like he was just passing time, or waiting for you to get on with it, the way many Na’vi males do. Like the way he might as a big brother to little Tuk, but with you, he was always kind. Neteyam always seemed to wait back for you, even when others had moved on, and you had never, not even once, told him how that important that was for you.

And now you are desperately alone, all over again. It’s been about three months since he died, and you have never felt more empty.

You will never be Seen. Not in the way that Tsireya and Lo’ak See each other. 

“Do you ever feel like you just haven’t acted soon enough? Like you haven’t done enough with your life?” You blink, and suddenly tears are rolling down your cheeks. You didn’t realized you were near tears. Neteyam’s death had affected everyone so heavily.

“Kanu, no…” She leans in, and wraps her arm around your shoulders. “You are not worthless. Our Great Mother has a purpose for us all .”

It’s a fear you’ve voiced plenty of times before, but Tsireya is always patient, always ready to fight your words.

“I don’t think so.” You shake your head, and then slump down into your knees, your eyes fluttering as you cry. “Kanu, they named me. My mother said it was so I would always be smart, be wise about things, but who would have thought that meant being so… so weak?”

“Being sensible isn’t being weak.” Tsireya tries to remind you gently. “You are careful, but what is wrong with that? Have you seen how Lo’ak and Aonung are ready to fight at every moment one looks at the other the wrong way?”

“I guess so…” You wipe some of your tears, and she squeezes your hand with a familiar warmth. “Still. I wish I was like you, Reya.”

She shakes her head, but smiles. “I think you are better than you think. You have a beautiful mind, my friend.”

/

Tsireya leads you back to the Sully marui, and Lo’ak is currently chasing Tuk around, as she shrieks in unabashed joy. She gets scooped up by Tsireya, and immediately hugs her tightly.

That’s the kind of effect Tsireya seems to have on everyone.

Lo’ak, too, leans in, brings his arm around her shoulders, and they look like a picture. One happy family of three. Tsireya the doting mother to Lo’ak’s teasing fatherly nature, and Tuk as the little scoundrel.

That could never be you. It leaves a small lump in your throat, to think of how you might never meet your better half- you will probably always be cooped up in your own marui, lying in the hammock, dreaming of a better world. And the sad thing is that you know there is a chance this is your own doing, but you are just too scared to do anything else. 

You are a coward. A fnawe’tu.

Tsireya and Lo’ak don’t seem to help, all wrapped up in their own little bubble of understanding and Seeing each other, as they seem to communicate something in glances that only the two of them understand, but Tuk clues in to your bad mood.

“What’s wrong, Kanu?” She pouts and sits next to you. 

You smile sadly. The girl is too young to really feel the extent of grief, just yet. She means well, though, and you cannot let her feel the full nature of your sorrow. It would not be fair.

Kiri answers for you, as she sits against a pillow, observing the oceans outside. “We’ve been through a lot, Tuk. It’s going to be a while until everyone feels alright again.”

“Yeah, Tuk.” You smile with a little more kindness, trying to muster up understanding. She’s still lost her biggest brother, and that has to hurt. “Little Tuktirey. Are you doing alright?”

Tuk nods, but she suddenly climbs into your lap, wrapping her arms tightly around around you, her face nuzzling into your neck, and it’s all you can do not to cry in the little girl’s arms.

“I miss Neteyam.” She whispers, and you hug her back, stroking the braids of her hair. "I miss home."

“We all do.” Kiri responds softly, and a brief silence overtakes the marui, everyone becoming solemn. Lo’ak and Tsireya sit next to Kiri, and you’ve formed a circle.

“Perhaps we should speak good memories of Neteyam, instead.” Tsireya suggests, and Lo’ak’s eyes flutter to a close. You can tell he’s trying to compose himself.

“He always knew how to protect us.” Lo’ak smiles. “When I first bonded with my ikran, Neteyam was supposed to stay back.” 

“Ikran are supposed to try to kill you when you fight them,” He clarifies, seeing that you and Tsireya both look a little confused. “But Neteyam, that skxawng, he jumped over the barrier and tried to help me. Dad pulled him back.”

Lo’ak chuckles, and you find yourself giggling at the imagery. Of Neteyam leaping after his brother, convinced that he needed to, and Jake grabbing him by the arms. It would have been just like him.

“Neteyam always stood up for me.” Kiri responds honestly, and it’s all she seems to be comfortable with sharing.

“Neteyam helped me practise with my knife.” Tuk motions with her hands, a quick slicing gesture, snarling, and you pretend to die as she giggles. “He said I was gonna be a good hunter one day.”

“You will.” You fixate on your hands. “Neteyam always… well, he always listened. I never felt like I had to talk fast with him to be heard.”

“To be Seen.” Tsireya adds, and you don’t want to disagree with her. But you don’t think Neteyam really saw you.

There just wasn’t enough time.

/

A loud conch shell wakes you up, and you accidentally smack Kiri in the face as you do.

“Watch it!” She yawns, before pulling herself up. 

You don’t usually fall asleep so easily. But you were so comfortable yesterday, playing games and sharing stories with everyone, that you did not feel as lost as you usually do. 

Tuk snores away, wrapped up on her pillow, and you and Kiri decide to leave her.

There’s always work to be done on the reef. Repairing the marui, weaving with your hands, making large batches of tsiki stew, helping Tsahik Ronal with healing the wounded. Some of the people are still in very poor shape.

It takes the whole village on these days to get things even a little further with progress. It makes you resent the Sky People even more.

A bitter part of you wishes Neteyam had merely been wounded. Then he would still be here.

But you know better than that. You know that you have much to be thankful for, and you know that Eywa can only protect so much. In the great balance, energy has to be given back. That will always be the Na’vi way.

Kiri, in her own strange way, always seems attuned to things you cannot sense or see. She alway seems to know something, past your comprehension, and the best answer she has for it is an energy, a wave length, a heartbeat. Eywa is all around us, Kiri always tells you, and you know she is right. 

Lately she has been giving you more attention, too. It’s like she can tell something about you, and you are glad for it. Glad that you can cling onto Kiri for the time being, because she understands so much even if she can’t quite say it.

“Want one?” She sits next to you on the edge of the shore, holding some niktsyey. Food wraps.

You’re not always so hungry as of late, but you know it’s a nice gesture. Kiri and Neytiri are always preparing, wrapping food out of various meats and vegetables, and it feels like they’re just searching for something to do. To be busy.

As a result, they have a lot of excess.

You take it, and unwrap the leaf, biting into a juicy bit of payoang- fish of the reef- and some grains you’re not sure you’ve ever had before. It’s good, better than anything you’ve eaten in a while.

“You like it?” She grins, and you respond with a “Mm-hmm!”, your mouth entirely full. “The grains are from home.”

At the word home, she sounds a little sad. 

“Is this a traditional Omatikayan dish?” You try to cheer her up, maybe bolster her spirits with some memories. “It’s amazing.”

“Yes. Grandmother always made it better than I do. And we usually use teylu, too. Insect meat.” Kiri admits, twiddling her fingers. “We brought a lot with us… you could try making it, if you wish.” 

You do have an affinity for cooking- but you’re much better with large stews and soups. You know Kiri is just trying to suggest something nice, though, and you agree that one day you should do that. Together.

It’s nice to have a friend.

/

About a week later, Tsireya is horribly insistent that you come with her, Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk to the Cove of Ancestors, to the Spirit Tree. The boy, Spider, one that you don’t know so well- he dislikes having to be away from things like this, but even he insists that you should go.

“I just- I don’t feel like it, that’s all.” You try, but Lo’ak shakes his head.

“You cannot reject Eywa, Kanu. You'll lose yourself." Lo'ak says, uncharacteristically serious, but he's had to grow a lot during Neteyam's absence.

"We know you're hurting." Tsireya stands next to him, and something about her use of we strikes you, deep in your heart, making you feel more like a loner than ever before. Her and Lo'ak seem like such a team now. 

"It would help, don't you think?" She continues. "So you know you're not… alone. The ancestors will hear you."

You can tell it confuses them. Your great sorrow, how you seem to desperately hold onto it. But lately it's felt like all you've ever known, and you do not know how to explain that, that you feel comfort knowing yourself like this. At least it makes sense.

It is a strange predicament that seems hard to explain.

"She's not alone." Kiri corrects her, which Tsireya takes gracefully. "Kanu has us."

It's true, and so you let yourself be cajoled and ride your ilu towards the Cove of Ancestors, where the underwater tree resides. Kiri is not supposed to join her tsaheylu to the Tree anymore, so she watches on, looking slightly wistful. 

You're scared as you dive underwater. You don't know what the ancestors might say if they hear your sadness. How you shouldn't be so sorrowful when Neteyam meant more to others, and you have nothing to truly be very upset about. But Tsireya and Lo’ak nod at you, so you know you have to do it.

You grab your tsaheylu, and gently brace yourself, as if it's going to hurt- and you let the tendrils bond into the tree's swaying branches. Your eyes close.

You are brought forward, so quickly that you're not quite sure what's happening, until suddenly you're on very solid ground.  

You think you feel grains of sand, but really- it's more dense than that, and you open your eyes.

Dark green foliage, leaves and trees and massive tree trunks, and interestingly colored flora surrounds you. 

This must be the Omatikaya forest, you think. You've never been there before. You've never had such a strong vision in the first place. Anytime you’ve made the bond with the Spirit Tree before, you usually hear your grandmother telling you that she's proud of you.

You watch as a flying lizard floats down in front of you, the spinning of its ribbed body causing you to follow it. You're not very familiar with this place- it's apparent in how your arms sway with confusion, and how your tail seems to drag behind you, instead of properly keeping your balance like the Omatikaya's do.

You trip over a branch and fall forwards into a small riverbed. The water tastes different- it's not as salty as the beaches you are familiar with. But you feel a strong, limber arm grab your own thick forearm, and you are pulled upwards as you stand.

"Kanu?" Neteyam stands in front of you, and you are gutted to see him. He looks the same as when you lost him, still alert, and even now he scans your body for damage. "You okay?"

"Neteyam…" You whisper, and your eyes water almost instantly. This is not what you wanted. You never expected to see him again, and you feel humiliated by everything surrounding you. 

It's as if you’ve walked into a memory that was not made for you. You are of no importance, especially not here, not now, not with him. Why would Eywa bring you here?

"Hey, hey. It's gonna be okay." He says comfortingly as you cry, and you think you should be comforting him. "Whatever happened, it will be okay."

He hugs you, just a gentle sidearm hug, and you begin to sob.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry-" You wail, and he furrows his brows, not understanding.

"Why?" He grabs your hands. "Why are you sorry?"

It dawns on you that Neteyam doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand that he's dead, away from the real world. It's such a convincing vision, this place.

It’s not your story to tell, is it? What would Jake Sully say? Neytiri, too, she would be disappointed to know that you leapt so forward, into telling their oldest son that he no longer walked among you.

But you cannot help yourself.

"You're… you're gone, Neteyam. Dead. You're not really here." You feel that he deserves to know, and he stiffens. "You are with Eywa now." 

You can see him scrambling to answer, his eyes flickering from you to the forest, but his voice fails him. He cannot explain your appearance in the Omatikaya forest, let alone him being here when he was just at the reef, so it makes sense.

Neteyam shuts his eyes.

“That’s why-” He chokes up, and you feel him shudder next to you. “That’s why Dad was so happy to see me.”

It’s a sadness that overwhelms you. The thought of a father having to pretend that everything was alright, so not to alarm his son. You see Neteyam cry, and it’s so unlike how Neteyam usually was back home, that you feel yourself reach over to wrap your hands around his.

“It’s not your fault, Neteyam.” You whisper, and you’re glad you finally have the courage to say that much before you’re suddenly brought back, away from the cool winds of the forest, and into the cool ripples of the ocean. The last thing you see is Neteyam’s eyes, searching for you as you vanish from his sight. 

/

Kiri and Tuk have already gone back home.

Tsireya and Lo’ak don’t ask many questions when you come to, even though you’re sure you look insane, totally stupefied by what you saw. You know Eywa doesn’t do things for no reason, but you’re still confused.

You just tell Tsireya that honestly, you do feel better, because it’s all you can say without sounding crazy. Because it doesn’t seem fair that you, a mere acquaintance of Neteyam’s, would end up being the one to visit him again. You know Lo’ak hasn’t seen him yet, even though he tries every week or so.

It would be the worst thing to tell them the truth about it.

Tsireya pats your arm. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Kanu. The ancestors always know what to say.”

You smile, but you can’t help but feel that you’re lying to your best friend.

/

You visit again, two days later. You tell Tsireya that you are going to visit a different Metkayina village, where your cousins live- she doesn’t question you, as she’s too busy exploring the depths of the ocean with Lo’ak, Tuk and Kiri as of late- and even though your lie is so easily accepted, it makes you feel more outside to their circle.

But that’s okay for now. You just want to apologize to Neteyam, if Eywa lets you see him again.

When you make the bond with the tree, this time, you’re sent to what seems like one of your village’s marui- but this woven structure is high up in the air, tightly secured inside the branches of a tree. Maybe one of the largest trees you’ve ever seen.

You peer out the window, and seeing how far down the grass is, you jump back in fear, your legs suddenly shaking. You’re in no real danger, but it’s still terrifying, seeing little specks of blue that must surely be other Na’vi that have joined with Eywa.

“Hey. Take it easy.” Neteyam is behind you, and he pulls you by your arm, making the both of you sit on the flooring of the structure. “You look like you’ve seen Toruk.”

“Sorry- it’s just very high up.” You say, and your voice is shaky even though you try to stay calm.

“Of course.” Neteyam crosses his arms, nods his head, wise as ever. “You’re probably never stepped higher than the great branches of the sea trees.”

“Yes, that is true.” You still feel a minor tremor in your throat, so you pull your knees to your chest and huddle yourself down. You don’t want to be so high up- it’s as if you’re being forced to face too many things at once.

“Why are you here?” Neteyam asks, not in an accusatory tone, but just confused. “You've already told me what you wanted to say."

It's not all you wanted to say, but your face heats up at the idea of telling Neteyam that you like him, that you like how his big yellow eyes squinted at every possible detail when he was hunting, that he always used to do a headcount, not just of his siblings, but everyone including you when you headed out past the reef. 

"I don't… I don't know." You shrug, and then look up towards the sky. "I feel that Eywa brought me here to apologize."

"Apologize?"

You turn to him, and Neteyam leans a little closer.

"I shouldn't have been the one to tell you." You utter so seriously that Neteyam’s brief smile disappears. "I'm sorry. It should have been your father. Or Lo'ak."

"No." Neteyam shakes his head. "They wouldn't have told me. My mom and dad pretend I'm not- I'm still alive, in some way, to them, you know? I cannot take that away from them. And I've never seen Lo'ak. He must feel like the worst son in the world."

"He's not angry at you, if that's what you think." You immediately interject, and Neteyam raises his eyebrows. "Lo'ak has grown a lot since you've been gone."

Neteyam sighs. "Things would be easier if I was still there."

"Of course." You gently touch his shoulder. "It's easy to say that, Neteyam. But you win some, you lose some. We wouldn't have learned so much if you were still here, and you wouldn't be able to rest."

Neteyam nods. "True. All energy is only borrowed…"

"And some day you have to give it back." You respond in turn.

Neteyam smiles. "Tell me how everyone is doing."

You tell him how Kiri is doing better than usual. She's become more resilient, being capable of controlling the nature around her in a way that doesn't quite make sense to you. Neteyam, too, doesn't know how to respond, but he says it's an interesting thought that a supposed freak like Kiri could be so useful. He laughs about how Aonung and Rotxo were shocked to see her move fauna around with just a wave of her hand. 

You start to tell him about Tuk's knife practice, when suddenly you catch some of the leaves surrounding the vision shrinking. You're being pulled away. Back to the real Pandora.

Neteyam looks on in alarm. "Kanu!"

"One last thing- they all miss you so much!" You say genuinely, and as you get pulled away this time, you see Neteyam smile.

You just wish you could've included yourself in that.

/

The next time you visit Neteyam, he's in what seems to be a very intimate home setting, trinkets and blankets covering the setting. He’s combing back his grandfather's hair. You can tell it must be Neytiri’s father by the robes and beading he's adorned with.

You immediately sweep down into a deep bow. "Olo’eyktan."

"Kanu." The elderly man touches your forehead, blessing you. "Neteyam has told me much about you."

"Ah, Grandfather!" Neteyam cringes, visibly embarrassed by something you don't quite understand. Family can be like that.

"Please. Be on your way." Eytukan gives you his parting grace. 

Neteyam is silent as you walk together through the forest, towards something that seems perpetually out of reach. 

"What's wrong?" You ask, and Neteyam stands still, mulling over his words.

"My grandfather… he means well, but-" Neteyam sighs, exasperated. "But he does not understand that I never wanted to be Olo’eyktan. He keeps telling me what I am missing out on."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he never seems to hear what I'm saying-"

"No, sorry." You look at him with newfound interest. "You don't want to be Olo’eyktan?"

"Well, Kanu." Neteyam fixes his visor, and thinks about how cute you look when you stare at him this intensely, before clearing his throat and deciding it would be better to not. "If you were told you could only be one thing in your entire life, wouldn't you want something else?"

"Yes!" You exhale in excitement before calming down. "Everyday, I think about that."

You trail off to a silence, meaning to allow Neteyam to explain himself. But he gestures for you to keep going. Once the oldest sibling, always the oldest sibling.

"I've always been told. Be smart. Stay inside. Don't put yourself in harm's way if you don't have to." You murmur, and Neteyam can tell your parents have hammered that into your head. "I'm left feeling like I've never quite lived at all."

"Tell me about it." Neteyam agrees, rolling his eyes. "'Oi, Neteyam! Be responsible! Be a good role model for your siblings!' I never really got to be myself."

"Fair enough." You look at your surroundings, thinking about how this isn't really Pandora. "But you can be yourself now, can't you?"

"You would think so." Neteyam chuckles, slowing his pace down to a stroll. "But everyday I'm worrying about what those knuckleheads are up to."

"What if…" You smile at the idea. "I give you updates? Just little stories about them here and there?"

“That would be nice.” Neteyam agrees, but he twiddles with his fingers. “I only wish they would come to see me too.”

“Oh, Neteyam…” You hold your hand over his. “I’m sure they will one day. Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider and Tuk, I think they’re just not ready yet.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. We’ll see.”

Neteyam looks towards you, and gently fixes a strand of your hair behind your ears. “Just promise me you’ll tell me how you’re doing, too.”

/

Neteyam is quick on his feet the next time you see him. He pulls you towards him and you're on your way, running over tall tree branches and trunks.

"Where- are-" You narrowly dodge a large vine that swings towards your face. "Where are we going?"

"Ayram alusìng!"

The floating mountains.

You don't have time to ask. You’ve only heard of these in stories told by Jake and Lo’ak, and sometimes Tonowari, the Olo’eyktan, when he remembers travelling to the forests. You’re excited to see them- and you find that you’re not the only one, as Neteyam grasps your hand with intent and pulls you quickly alongside him.

Suddenly, the large vines and branches you were walking on are within an open space, connecting to tall floating mountains, and you take a moment to breathe in, and look at them. They’re so vast- so much bigger in breadth than you’ve ever imagined- and it’s beautiful, in a way that you can’t describe. You smile, and Neteyam grins looking at you.

“This is how I felt looking underwater for the first time.” Neteyam confides in you, and your eyes widen.

“This is way better than the underwater, Neteyam.” You cross your arms, and he laughs.

“Agree to disagree, then.” He motions towards the top of the mountain, and the vines that you must climb to get there. “Come.”

As you climb, and then reach the top, your legs shake for a moment, seeing just how high up you are. You pull yourself away from the edge of the cliff, before Neteyam grabs your hand. 

"Hey. I'm not letting you go back home yet." He teases, and you feel yourself blush.

"Sorry." You swing your large tail, so used to wading through water, from side to side. "This wasn't made to balance in the air."

“Don’t worry.” Neteyam points to the sky, where Ikran fly and dive towards the ground. “They’re made for anything you could possibly do in the sky.”

“How are they-”

“How are they here?” Neteyam glances at you. You always seem to be on top of things, always asking the right questions. It’s kind of refreshing, because he doesn’t have to play dumb for you, like he might’ve with Lo’ak. Especially when nothing particularly interesting goes on here without you.

That’s not something he’d easily admit- that the highlights of his days in the afterlife is when you come to visit him. But it’s true. He looks forward to your banter, to that funny little scrunch you do with your nose when you’ve thought of something hilarious to say.

Even now, you stare at him, and Neteyam is a little too lost in your gaze to respond.

“...Neteyam?”

He shakes himself out of it. “Right. It sounds crazy, but… I think these are Ikran who have passed. They’ve joined Eywa.”

“How can you be sure?” You watch an Ikran screech and dive towards another, and they begin to fight. “Perhaps these are just more visions of Eywa’s.”

“You’re right.” Neteyam points to a bright turquoise blue Ikran, one that looks at him fondly when he waves. “But that one over there? Her name is Seze.”

“Blue flower?”

“Yes.” Neteyam waves back at her. “She was my mother’s Ikran. At least I think she is the same one, but I can’t be sure. She matches how my mother talked about her. And she responds to… Seze!”

Neteyam suddenly leaps over the rocky terrain, and approaches Seze, who turns to his call.

“Wait!” You try to call him back.

“Ikran are only supposed to fly with one person in their entire lives.” Neteyam climbs onto Seze’s back, and she allows him. “But I figure, if we’re dead, if all of this is with Eywa, then I guess that doesn’t matter here.” 

He makes the bond with Seze, and her pupils widen before becoming still and small again. Then she shakes her wings, and approaches the cliff. 

Neteyam pulls his headband down, and he tuts a war cry, before he and Seze drop off the cliff in a graceful dive.

“Neteyam!” You gasp in shock, and before you can stop yourself, you scramble near the edge of the cliff, lying flat on your stomach, letting yourself see if they’re okay.

And of course they are. Neteyam pulls up as Seze’s wings expand, and he does a few rotating flips in the air. He looks back, towards you, because he wants to make sure you’re watching. Yeah, Neteyam is showing off right now, but he never got to do that back in the Metkayina village.

He missed this. Missed flying, the wind in his hair. But most of all, he loves the look on your face- how you’re completely in awe.

He smirks at you, and you snort. The dorkiness of this guy, going out of his way to plan an elaborate scheme to show off something cool to you. And it is really cool, it just strikes you that Neteyam always does things that are in his control. 

Lo’ak would’ve probably jumped off the cliff and onto an ikran to impress Tsireya,

Neteyam begins flying towards your cliff. He lets Seze land, and she chirps fondly at him as he dismounts. 

"So, what'd you think?" Neteyam raises his arms in greatness, as if to accept accolades from you.

"That was insane. Totally amazing!" You giggle and clap for him, and he bows.

"Thank you, thank you." Neteyam leans in, as if he's telling you a secret that only you get to know. "So what do you think? Want to do your own Iknimaya? It's a rite of passage for the Omatikaya, but I think you could do it too. I mean, I don't know what would happen if a living person made tsaheylu with someone not-"

An ikran screeches, interrupting Neteyam, and you draw yourself back, frightened.

"Sorry. I can't." You rest yourself against the cliff wall, as you've been shaking from being so close to the edge, and Neteyam nods, expecting you to continue. "You must think I'm such a petulant child."

"Would a child really use a word like 'petulant?'" Neteyam tuts, and you scoff.

"No. But I'm pretty stupid, aren't I?" You look at the ground, feeling embarrassed that you're scared of such a thing. "Lo'ak says he did his Iknimaya as a child… what am I so afraid for?"

You look up at Neteyam. "I can never do anything right. I'll always end up hiding away out of fear."

"Fear is a sensible thing coming from you, Kanu ." Neteyam tightens the bindings around his arms, emphasizing your name and it's meaning. "And you're not stupid. It's alright to be afraid of things. Me, I was so scared when I first made tsaheylu with my ikran. I almost ran back into my mother's arms when I did it."

You stifle a laugh at the idea of little Neteyam running back towards his mother, Neytiri scooping him up and then putting him back out with the ikran. 

"I know. It's funny, you can laugh." Neteyam smiles. "But you have to remember it took a leap of faith, of trusting myself, to do it."

"I say, don't be afraid to be uncomfortable." Neteyam holds your hand, and traces your thumb. "Take little steps here and there. Then, one day, you can do something more, and it won't be so bad. I'm sure you've grown more than you think."

It's classic Neteyam, to hit you with a bunch of advice right when you least expect it. There were plenty of times he would take the heat for Lo'ak, and then give a strict talking to him afterwards. 

"You're right. Thank you." You admit softly, squeezing his hand back. "I do want to do more with my life."

"And you will." Neteyam nods, completely certain. "You're not stupid. I've never thought you were stupid."

You think of that for a moment, how certain he sounds in saying never. Did Neteyam really think of you before you even came to visit him? Before, when you all swam in the oceans of Pandora together, travelling through the corals and sea plants and the reef? Did he think about you, when there were far more interesting things to think about?

"Anyways." Neteyam clears his throat, suddenly shy. "Want to ride with me? On the back of Seze, I mean. I'll make sure you're safe."

"Why not?" You take his hand again. "Small steps." 

Neteyam tells Seze to stay calm, and then sits on her back. He pulls you up, and then when you're sitting behind him, he wraps your arms around his waist. 

You think about how warm, how real he feels, and then become a little sad knowing this isn't. That this is all happening in the Spirit Tree, not for real. 

Neteyam cries out again, a high pitched sound meaning to go, and you both drop over the edge with Seze, as she dives and then flies around adjacent mountains. The green trees and leaves quickly shrink into tiny little dottings of green on the rocky terrain, and you widen your eyes.

You shriek in partial delight, mostly fear, and tighten your arms around Neteyam when he tells Seze to dive again. He snickers. He likes feeling your arms, though. It makes him feel warm all over, especially in his chest.

"It's fun, right?!" Neteyam shouts, and you laugh and say yes, even if your face is buried in his neck.

It's only around when Neteyam approaches a cliff to land at, that he feels your arms vanish from around his waist. He turns around, and realizes you've gone back to the real world. 

/

When you go back this time, back to the village, Kiri and Tsireya are waiting for you. It’s past eclipse- everything is dark. Little bioluminescent fish roam through the water, and you stare at them for a moment, wondering what lie you could come up with now.

"Have a good time at the Cove?" Kiri crosses her arms, and you stop walking by the shore. "Yes, that's right. We know."

"Kiri…" Tsireya's tone is telling her to lay off. "I'm sure she didn't mean-"

"To lie to us? To avoid us?" Kiri huffs. "I thought you were our friend, Kanu."

"Wait, please. I can explain." You desperately interrupt her. “I am your friend.”

Kiri’s eyes soften. “Okay, then prove it.”

When you're back inside the marui, Lo'ak is waiting. Tsireya immediately takes his hand and sits next to him, which makes you frown.

“Kanu- it’s not that we’re mad about this, we just don’t understand.” Lo’ak says, and it’s as if he and Tsireya are already Olo’eyktan and Tsahik, leaders of a clan, stronger than you’ll ever be.

You hate being called out, but most of all, you hate how it comes from them. How they make such a resilient team. You are almost positive in the future that Lo’ak and Tsireya will lead the Metkayina.

“You don’t make time for us , anymore, Kanu.” Tsireya comes closer to you, and her eyes search yours, as if she wants to make sure you’re still you. "I miss you! I don't mind if the Cove of Ancestors brings you comfort. I just hope you're not angry with me."

You feel your eyes water. Of course you're not angry with Tsireya, but as you think it over a little, it's as if you began to pull away just because you assumed no one would notice if you were gone. 

Clearly the opposite is true.

"I'm sorry." You utter quietly, and Tsireya touches your forearm, while Kiri touches your shoulder. "I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand. I don't hate you guys, and I never will. I just…"

You close your eyes, wondering if it's worth it. To tell the truth about why you've been disappearing. And a part of you feels so guilty, that you wanted to keep Neteyam just as your own private business, even though he's not your brother, and he means more to others. You have no right to keep him as yours. 

"Ever since that first day you guys made me visit the Spirit Tree… I've been seeing Neteyam." You come clean, and you feel everyone gasp and move closer to you. "I don't know why. I'm sorry."

"Why would you keep that a secret?" Tsireya shakes her head, disappointed. "Do you not trust us?"

"Of course I do!" You don't know how to explain. "I… I just didn't think you guys wanted to know. I didn't know how to tell you without it sounding like I was special or something, or that I was leaving you out."

"But you did leave us out." Lo'ak finally speaks up, and you can see the conflict in his face, the anger he feels. "Why would Neteyam choose to see you ?"

" Lo'ak ." Kiri glares at him. "Stop it. She didn't mean it like that."

You feel your face turn warm, and your heart begins to ache. You don't want this. You don't want a fight. 

"Whatever." Lo'ak rolls his eyes. "I wonder why I have never seen him."

"Don't worry, Lo'ak." Tsireya squeezes his shoulder. "I'm sure one day you will. Perhaps he is just working his way up to see you."

You know she doesn't mean it like that, but something about the way Tsireya comforts Lo'ak- how she asserts his importance over you, even though you were the first person Neteyam saw, after his parents- it makes you cry. You've never felt more unimportant in your life. You're a total mistake. 

/

You don’t go to sleep very easily that night. You’re in your family’s Marui, and you toss and turn thinking about yourself. About your place in the world.

You know it isn’t right, but you want to ask Eywa why. Why she would let you do this, tear apart a family and become closer to Neteyam when clearly, it just isn’t meant to be anything. Maybe there’s a lesson you’re missing somewhere. 

You never thought anyone really cared about you all that much. That you needed them more than they needed you. But you’re starting to think you’re wrong, that maybe most of this stuff is in your head. Why else would everyone miss you? Why else would they be so heartbroken that you didn’t tell them about Neteyam?

Kind of like Neteyam said. It’s all a leap of faith. You had to talk to Tsireya, Lo’ak and Kiri to find out.

You need to talk to him again. You absolutely cannot sleep, no matter how many times you shut your eyes and wrap your arms around yourself.

Your ilu chirps outside. And you take that as your sign to sneak out of your marui, under the bridging, and onto her back as she waits on the shore.

You wonder if anyone will be waiting for you there. You’re just slightly paranoid now.

But it’s just you, and the Cove, and the Spirit Tree, and you’re happy. You’re glad that you can talk to him one to one. Even if it’s a little selfish.

You make tsaheylu with the tree branch, and you feel yourself move quickly into the bioluminescent forest. It’s beautiful- you’re taken aback for a moment, seeing little lights and shiny things beam at you in the dark.

Neteyam is lying under a large leaf, staring up at the night sky, and the moons that occupy it. He doesn’t notice you until you’re sitting right next to him, hugging him extra hard for some reason.

“Whoa! Kanu-” Neteyam hugs you back. He was on the verge of falling asleep, but now he’s entirely awake. “What’s wrong? Why are you here?”

“Teyam- everything’s gone wrong.” You shut your eyes, and Neteyam tries not to feel too proud over the fact that you’ve given him a nickname, because you’re clearly upset. “I didn’t tell everybody -Tsireya, Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk- about you for a while, well, because- it just felt nice to have you for myself. I’m sorry.”

You sound incredibly guilty, but Neteyam shakes his head. “It’s not wrong. We are still people. We will never act with the best judgement, even if we know better.”

“I guess you’re right, but…” You murmur, and then move on to the next thing that’s bothering you. “You know how Lo’ak and Tsireya are all in love, right?”

“Right.” Neteyam nods and snickers a little. “Doesn’t really surprise me.”

You can’t be sure what Neteyam means by that, and you feel yourself grow a little annoyed. “Yeah, it’s not really surprising, is it? When Tsireya is so pretty, right?”

Neteyam blinks. He looks at you, and he can clearly see- you’re pissed off. He doesn’t know how he came off that way- Reya is like a sister to him- but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want to make you angry.

“Kanu.” He holds your hand, but you won’t look at him. “I don’t really care for Tsireya like that.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” You whisper, and he listens very carefully. “But it’s just that… everyone seems to think she’s beautiful, that everything about her is good and right and perfect, to the point where it seems like she is always being noticed, always has the first priority in every conversation, and I am always left behind. I am always left to answer last, to be heard after everyone else has already moved on. I wish I wasn’t so plain.”

“Hey. Stop it.” Neteyam tries to interject, but you keep going.

“And Tsireya and Lo’ak really drive me crazy now, because they act like such a team! Already like little future versions of the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahik.” You sigh, and you feel tears begin to run down your cheeks. “I know it’s selfish, and mean to say so- but I feel so worthless. Unimportant in comparison to them. I’ll never be Seen like that.”

Neteyam shuts his eyes. He really wishes he could be in the real world, so he could punch that skxawng Lo’ak for acting all old and mature, when really, he doesn’t know any better. But he feels bad. Nothing of what you’ve said is under other people’s control.

“I know what you mean, Kanu. As a big brother- I’ve always had to be watchful of others. I couldn’t be an idiot like Lo’ak, because I had to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed.” Neteyam swallows, not sure if you’re following, but you nod. “It didn’t make me less useful, right? Just because I was ‘behind’, like you’re saying?”

You wipe back some of your tears, and agree. “You’re right.”

“But you’ll never be useless, okay? I’ve seen how you always comforted Kiri when she was upset. How you would watch over Tuk when everyone else was more concerned with themselves. You’re not weak or dumb because you’re quiet, Kanu. You’re smart, just like your name says.” Neteyam decides to take it a step further, and you’re surprised that he even remembers, holds that much thought about you. “And you’re not nearly as plain as you make yourself sound.”

You feel your face and ears grow warm, and you look towards the ground, but Neteyam’s hands gently grasp your face, forcing you to look back up at him. His golden eyes are more soft, more kind than you’ve ever experienced from anyone else, and he clearly means it. You’re not imagining it.

“You’re beautiful.” Neteyam smiles at how you look a little taken aback, like you suddenly want to run away from all this attention, because you’re so shy. “I See you.”  

And Neteyam leans in to kiss you, whispering sevin as he does- meaning pretty in Na’vi- and for once, you don’t tell him to stop, that it’s a mistake on his part- you just let it happen. His lips envelop yours, and it’s a much warmer feeling than you were anticipating, that Neteyam could be so close to you and you would feel like his.

He does not let go, letting his hands hold on to you for just a moment longer when he feels an urge to connect his tsaheylu to yours, and Neteyam moves back.

“Teyam?” You whisper, and he rests his forehead against yours.

“Listen. I think you’re amazing.” Neteyam sounds guilty. “And I wish you could stay here forever, with me, but that would be selfish.”

“Neteyam, c’mon.” You look at him knowingly, and he does smile. “I did the same thing. I tried to keep you as my own secret.”

“I think that’s adorable.” Neteyam snorts. “But I’m being serious. I think you should be with someone of the real world, someone who can actually exist alongside you. Not me.”

“This coming from a dreamwalker’s son?” You retort. “To Jake Sully, this was not the real world. And he still bonded with your mother.”

Neteyam can’t disagree with you on that, because you’re right. But it’s still not fair to you. He’s going to have to be the bad guy.

“You should go back.” Neteyam says, and even though as he’s saying this he should push you away, he hugs you instead. A parting hug. “A bond between us? A living girl and a dead boy? We know it’s wrong. It would never be as fulfilling as my mother and father. You would only be able to see me a few times a week.”

“But I want it to be you, Neteyam.” You shut your eyes, and hug him back. “I wish it was you.”

“I know.” Neteyam lets go, and you can see- there are tears building up in his eyes. “But this is not right. Please, Kanu, be smart. I know you know better.”

You stiffen, hearing the words that everyone seems to attribute to you. “Stop being so responsible, Neteyam.”

“Actually, I’m not. I’m not that responsible.” Neteyam grows bitter, and draws himself away from you. “I’m avoiding Lo’ak. Eywa calls me to see him, and I’m just so- angry - that I don’t go.”

You’re silent for a moment. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“Well it is.” Neteyam shakes his head. “You’re too good for someone as angry as me, Kanu. You don’t deserve a dead boy who can’t even bother to see his brother. Who rejects Eywa. I’m not responsible.”

“Well, I’m not smart. I can’t be without you, even if I know it’s wrong.” You respond, and Neteyam watches as you get up, and walk away, your silhouette slowly vanishing as you leave the Spirit Tree.

Neteyam hopes you don’t mean you’re going to live a life of loneliness. He prays you can get over this. It’s not like him to be such a mistake- but something about you keeps him constantly yearning for this, to be around you in any capacity, if you would let him. That’s why he needs you to stay away.

He wonders if Eywa really does see this as wrong.

/

“Kanu! Wake up, wake up!” Tuk is shaking your shoulders, as you jostle yourself awake.

“Tuk.” You sit up, feeling the early sunlight peek inside your family’s marui. You’re still a little upset after your last conversation with Neteyam, and you fell asleep after crying for a bit. Your eyes are still puffy. Your mother is mending a loincloth- she waves at Tuk, who waves back- and you’re immediately yanked by Tuk towards the outside. 

She jumps up and down on the bridging, giggling, and she yells: “Catch me, Kanu, catch me!”

Tuk, the silly girl that she is, begins to run, and even if you are a little depressed, Tuk doesn’t need that, so you run after her, your much longer legs allowing you to catch up and sweep her up into your arms. She squeals as you pretend to be a monster, growling and swinging her around, before suddenly allowing her to fly up in the air, throwing and tossing her. 

She laughs loudly, and you remember watching Neteyam do this. No matter how tired he was, every time Tuk asked to be thrown in the air, he would do it. Always with a smile on his face, too.

“Kanu?”

You blink, watching Tuk look up at you from your arms. She’s not your sister, not your family. But you still love her. And you understand some of the reason why things can feel so empty now. 

Without Neteyam, there’s a big gap, a lack of an older brother who knows exactly what makes his sister laugh and cry.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that you could love someone like that so much, when he meant a lot to everyone. To bond with him would be extraordinarily selfish. You think you get it now, what Neteyam means by not limiting yourself to him, by allowing yourself to be a lot for everyone too.

“Ah, Tuktirey!” You hug her extra tight, and spin around and she wraps her arms around your neck, grinning.

You hear someone swim forwards from the shore. It’s Kiri and Tsireya, and they’re both holding a large fish between the two of them. Kiri places it with some heft into a net, and she ties it up.

But when they see you, they leave the fish and come towards you.

“Kanu.” Kiri touches your forearm. “Can we talk? Please?”

“Yes, of course.” You half-expect her to tell Tuk to leave, since this is more of a big person conversation, but the three of them sit with you on the shore.

“Kanu… I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you.” Tsireya speaks up first, and you can tell from the way your friend is just barely uttering the words, she must feel horribly guilty. “I don’t know how you felt, seeing Neteyam again, but it must have been a big thing for you to do on your own. You are strong.”

“Am I, though?” You play with your fingers. “I love him. And I know that it’s wrong-”

“But you can’t help how you feel, can you?” Tsireya suddenly grins. “I knew it. I knew that he Saw you the first time we all met. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, he barely learned how to dive into the water.”

You blush, and then shove Tsireya as she giggles. “Stop that! It doesn’t make it less weird. Or more normal. Neteyam said that it would be wrong… the two of us, a living girl and a dead boy, choosing to be together.”

“So what?” Kiri holds her chest up with pride. “I’m a freak, too. I hear Eywa. It doesn’t make you any less of a person to be different.”

You nod, but you just think that Neteyam wouldn’t want this. He was pretty final on making you stay away.

“What does Tuk think?” Kiri says kindly, with a sisterly nature, because Tuk has been vying to speak for the last two minutes, constantly badgering her.

“I think it’s cool!” Tuk laughs, with a big smile, and she rolls around in the sand. 

You’re grateful for the approval, even if it seems wrong, and you tell them as much.

“If it was really wrong, Eywa would not keep bringing you to him.” Tsireya decides. “Our Mother sees through it all.”

/

It’s easy to die, you find out.

All it takes is a lack of foresight in your movements. An Akula -a large Pandoran shark- attacks you as you and Kiri are swimming towards the fractal reefs deep in the water. She wanted to show you some of the floating jellyfish that made weird echoing sounds, like music, when she touched them. Even though you had lived in this village your whole life, you’d never seen anything like that.

The Akula approaches Kiri from behind, and you try to sign to her- move out of the way!- but it dives towards her too quickly. And before you know it, you dive forward and push Kiri out of the way.

“Kanu!” Kiri yells, air bubbles bubbling from her throat as she does, and it’s the last thing you hear before the Akula clenches it’s jaws around your body, it’s sharpest tooth impaling you through your chest. Everything in your vision blacks out.

Kiri panics and swims after the Akula, feeling her rage burn through her heart and into her veins, and she pushes that rage outwards, the dots and moles aligning her face lighting up in her anger. The coral and leaves that can be moved by Kiri, and her strange power, stretch towards the Akula, and it clings to it, while it shrieks in anger and drops your body.

Kiri gasps, seeing the blood ebb from your body, a red mist that expands through the water. The wound is too deep, from what she can see, and your dead weight is dragging you down into the depths of the water.

Kiri dives after you, grabbing your body, thinking the entire time, no, no, no , but it’s too late.

She comes up onto the shore, and Lo’ak is the first one to see her.

“Kiri?” He notices your body, and immediately goes into survival mode, pulling you with all his might. “We need to- we need to-”

“Put pressure on her wound.” Kiri looks down at you, and it’s so similar to how Neteyam died, she cannot help but feel a lump in her throat. Your blood has leaked and congealed into the sand. The wound is too deep, to the point where Kiri can see into your ribs. Your bright blue eyes are glazed over.

You are dead.

“No! Please, somebody! Help!” Kiri starts crying loudly, and she lies over your body, her tears flowing onto your neck. “Kanu…”

Lo’ak begins to cry, as well. He didn’t get to know you as well as he would’ve wanted to- but he promised himself he would apologize to you. You never meant any harm towards him.

/

Everyone is devastated. 

Tsireya could not think clearly when she saw your body. She immediately felt her throat choke up, and she lay over you, shutting your eyes so you would at least look at peace.

Kiri is especially wrought with grief and agony, telling anyone that would listen that you saved her life, and it should’ve been her. Jake holds her back- he knows she’s a kid with a lot of fight in her- and Neytiri tells her to stay calm. That you wouldn’t have wanted her to do this to herself.

Tuk, especially, does not understand. It’s difficult to lose so many people and have to keep losing them in this way, at such a young age. She cries- she wants to see you again, but you’re gone. Lo’ak is the only one who can take care of her at this moment.

Your funeral ceremony is not just led by your mother and father. They recognize how deeply you have touched your friends’ hearts, and they allow them to give their blessings to you before you join the Spirit Tree.

Ronal and Tsireya cover up your wound with small sea flowers, allowing you to look more at peace, for your parents’ sanity.

Tsireya places a headdress made from seashells and vines on your head, and she kisses your forehead. She whispers, “I’ll see you soon.”

Kiri hugs you. She hopes you take care of Neteyam, and he takes care of you. That’s where you’re headed, she knows it.

Your body is tipped off the raft, into the underwater depths, towards the glowing golden tendrils of the Spirit Tree, where you are absorbed.

Tuk waves goodbye at you, crying from Lo’ak’s arms. He, too, salutes you.

/

You wake up in your family’s marui. Things seem different- the village feels more empty, hazy, like something just on the edge of your vision. It quickly clears up as you shake your head a bit.

You’re not sure what’s happened. Where is your mother? Your father?

Even as you leave the marui, onto the shores of the Metkayina village, less questions are answered. You don’t recognize any of the other villagers, you don’t see the Sully family, although a kind woman approaches you, looking understanding of your obvious confusion.

You begin to run- you don’t know why- but something about how off everything is makes you run. You want to leave.

You see someone on the shore, in front of the sunset. A tall boy, with darker blue skin, long braided hair, a skinny tail- it must be Neteyam. You nearly knock him over when you walk into him.

“Kanu?” Neteyam holds your arms, and he’s immediately horrified. Every other time he’s seen you, you were there, but you were obviously a vision of some sort- not quite there, just a little off. This time, though, it’s different. You’re clearly there, clearly real in a way he never quite felt before. He can’t articulate this difference- he just sees that you’re really you.

He knows you must have joined him in Eywa, and you’re bound to feel the grief and rage he did when he realized. When you told him. 

You’re so confused, wondering why you can see Neteyam again, because the last thing you did- you didn’t go to the Spirit Tree, you were swimming with Kiri- it suddenly dawns on you what must have happened. The last thing you can really, truly recall.

You burst into tears, crying desperately, and fall to your knees on to the shore, water splashing around you. You know now. You understand that you’re dead.

He kneels with you, and pulls you into a hug, your head laying against his chest as you sob, thinking of how you would always be on the other side now.

“It’s okay, Kanu.” He tries, and you continue to cry. “It’s going to be okay. It’s just painful right now.”

“I’m really here with you?” You finally choke out, trying to see something positive in the bigger picture.

“I’m here. I’m really here.” Neteyam says, stroking your head, and you feel your tears subside a bit. “You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone.”

/

Being with Eywa is not as strange as you would think. For one thing, the afterlife is relatively peaceful. There’s no risk of dying a second time- so you think, and Neteyam laughs at you when you ask the question- and you cannot leave his side now that you know you’re in the same place.

You visit your grandmother together. She’s at first a little unamused about the idea of an afterlife-bonding, calling it “strange,” especially seeing how Neteyam is part of the Omatikaya, and you are apart of the Metkayina, but she’s not actually against it and she likes how Neteyam was immediately respectful towards her, bowing down deeply despite being the son of a Toruk Makto. 

It also doesn’t matter so much here. You can sort of do whatever you want, and that kind of unbridled freedom allows you to do so much more. To jump into the water without worrying about sharp rocks, to dive off of an Ikran without worrying about potentially falling to your death. Eywa won’t let you, because you’re at peace now.

“Isn’t it funny that I would have never done all this back in real life?” You ask, sitting in Hometree with him, and Neteyam snorts.

He’s braiding your hair in a traditional Omatikayan style, at your request. “Yeah, because you’d be at risk of dying. It’s because you’re smart.”

Neteyam finishes by placing a sea flower in the back of your braids, to show where you come from, and then pulls you to your feet.

Neteyam is very proud of you. Even though he wishes that you didn’t have to die- you did what you wanted to do with your life. You saved Kiri, and to him that was special. 

“Does it look nice?” You motion to your head, and turn around a few times. 

“It always looks nice. And by extension, so do you.” Neteyam smiles at you, and you squeeze his hand.

Neteyam brings you deep into the trees of the forests, where he grew up alongside his siblings, and together you sit down.

“Oel ngati kameie.” Neteyam says, pointing his hand towards you, and you do the same. You know what he means now- he’s told you openly how often he thought of you before he had even died, and how much he does recognize you in all your worth. 

Then, almost as if it’s purely instinct, he reaches towards his tsaheylu, and connects it to yours. 

The only thing you feel is love.