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fuck christmas!

PAIRING ▸ park sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ social media au (smau), fluff, crack

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sexual jokes but no sexual content, major hater activities, mentions of alcohol consumption, ignore timestamps !!

SUMMARY ▸ in which sunghoon hates christmas, so you consult wikihow to get him in the holiday spirit.

UPDATES ▸ every day starting the 25th

TAG LIST ▸ none u will just have to use ur sixth sense for updates hahah

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ it’s that time of the year where i look back at old smaus and cringe and remake them </3 anyways i hope everyone enjoys christmas this year ♡ 

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bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue. 

--

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question. 

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth. 

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?” 

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?” 

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.” 

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.” 

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both. 

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back. 

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

--

You see Jake before he sees you.  

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name. 

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest. 

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders. 

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all. 

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm. 

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode. 

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone. 

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then. 

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms. 

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.” 

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds. 

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask. 

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head. 

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter. 

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long. 

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips. 

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed. 

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you. 

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

--

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni. 

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them. 

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything. 

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing. 

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?” 

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

--

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former. 

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine. 

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl. 

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app. 

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat. 

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face. 

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours. 

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

--

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals. 

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu. 

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently. 

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it. 

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night. 

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!” 

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug. 

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion. 

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face. 

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls. 

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning. 

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you. 

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there. 

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now. 

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project. 

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered. 

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.” 

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.” 

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.” 

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again. 

--

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors. 

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being. 

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one. 

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.  

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you. 

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.  

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks. 

--

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you. 

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad. 

--

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.” 

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says. 

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter. 

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again. 

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided. 

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

--

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night. 

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake. 

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low. 

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face. 

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again. 

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today. 

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin. 

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water. 

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed. 

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno. 

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back. 

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you. 

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own. 

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets. 

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before. 

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

--

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment. 

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?” 

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice. 

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way. 

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold. 

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again. 

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you. 

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you. 

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness. 

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy. 

And this is only the beginning.

--

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun. 

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time. 

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face. 

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy. 

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back. 

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging). 

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely. 

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks. 

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you  with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains. 

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you. 

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.  

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well. 

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once. 

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite. 

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts. 

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes. 

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again. 

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines. 

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours. 

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt. 

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway. 

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer. 

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe. 

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine. 

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.” 

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

--

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.  

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards. 

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

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The Sun That Always Burns (masterlist) | S.JY

warnings for series: sexual content/smut (mdni), fluff, angst, friends to lovers to ex, afab reader, not proofread, will update warnings each chapter.

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. However, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other, but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

wc overall: 50k+ (oops)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 / Final

tmtss (hee alt scene).

CHASING PAVEMENTS (PART I) 𓇼 (P.JS)

✎ PAIRING: park jisung x fem! reader

✎ GENRE: angst, smut, brother's best friend trope

✎ WARNING: !!sexual content!! (minors dni) fwb relationship, jisung is slightly an asshole, reader is naive, ambiguous ending, might do a part two???

✎ SUMMARY: In which jisung's derived thoughts leads him to an unlikely arrangement with chenle's sister, where he fucks up (quite literally) when he realises how deep in the feels he has for the girl he is suppose to show disinterest to, in honour of 'BRO CODE'.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: since a few of you guys voted for jisung fic, here it is! it def took longer than i expected but i hope you like this one! <3

part two

PARK JISUNG HAD NO BOUNDARIES.

A man with desired sexual hormones isn't one to back down on steamy hook-up sessions, especially ones which are deemed promising. However, he didn't exactly knew how to draw the line when he began banging his best friend's sister.

(He thanked the heavens that Chenle had gone out that night to not witness the sinister act.)

But to be fair, the male didn't exactly plan to go black-out drunk at their usual dorm party on that particular Saturday night just to wake up naked with his best friend's sister on his side of the bed.

Especially since it's the same girl who had a thing for the said boy since their childhood, so much so that it was excrutiating for Jisung to watch her poor attempts at making a move on him. Even Chenle was used to it and was completely fine with your lovesick crush for his best friend, from the way you would stutter around the boy or the fact you used to give him flowers every Valentine's day, knowing deep down that your little feelings would fade away eventually.

But now, it's different because it's no longer a one-sided pining from you, rather a completely mutual friends-with-benefits situation. Though, it's far fetch to consider you and Jisung to be friends. He was always disinterested in you and even with this new arrangement, he only seemed content with finding a buddy he could released his pent-up sexual frustations with. Despite this, Jisung wouldn't initiate anything other than sex, making it clear that his intention with you is strictly for his selfish desires. His dirty little secret to be kept from Chenle.

You, on the other hand, couldn't be more happy than to pass up the only opportunity to be closer to Jisung. It was silly for you to expect anything more, but this was better than nothing. Jisung had fuck boy tendecies, it was nearly impossible for you to make him stay committed. However, a part of you was determined to make him fall for you.

No matter how wrong it was, it seemed that both of you can't get enough of each other.

Which is how Jisung ended up in your dorm room on Wednesday night, currently his cock buried deep inside of you as you suppress your moans. His hand digging your inner thighs as he lift you up to get a better angle, half of your body up in the air.

Grunting in frustation, his hair glued to his forehead from the layers of sweat. Rounds and rounds of endless pleasure. You could tell his anger that was built up a moment ago, was slowly dissipitating from the way his thrust begins to slow down, pausing briefly to brush the strands of his hair back. The view making you squeeze around him tighter.

"S-Shit. Do that again." He demanded, his hand coming up to grab onto your tits harshly as he pushed himself further inside you.

Squeezing once again, you made an attempt to wrap your hands around his neck only to have it shoved aside. His hands clutching your wrist to prevent you from touching him.

"I'm close!" You mewled, hip trusting against his as you made an attempt to inch closer towards him— if that was even possible.

"Me too!" He groaned.

With one powerful thrust, the both of you reached the awaiting orgasm. His breath close to your face as you stared into his eyes, entranced with the way he looks. Biting your lips, you lean in for a kiss only to have his warmth ripped away from you. Standing up to get himself dressed, much to your disappointment.

"You're leaving, already." You asked, not wanting to sound too desperate.

The male could only give a brief nod, "Yup, I have to get back before Chenle suspects something's up."

But you knew it was bullshit. Chenle didn't care if his best friend didn't show up to their dorm late at night. It was normal in a college settings. You knew that he was coming up with an excuse to not indulge further and as much as that should give you a blaring warning in your ears, you were still as stubborn as ever.

"Okay! Get back safely." You said cheerily, watching as he quickly buttons up his shirt.

Getting nothing but a hum of acknowledgement as he made his way out of your dorm, not even glancing back.

Laying down on your dishelved bed, you could only have the same feeling of regret wash over you. You wonder why you would let yourself seek love from someone who clearly could not care less about you. It had been four months of never-ending sneaky hook ups and there was still no hope that he was semi into you. You were stupid for thinking like a child.

Perhaps, you could let this go once again.

Again.

WEEK ONE.

Sitting from afar, you watch in subtlety at the disgustingly appaling view from a couple feet away. There stood, Jisung smiling with such admiration towards NingNing, a girl whom he was talking to. Her giggles echoed through the cafeteria as his friends were teasing him from the side. The sight of the sweet interaction made your heart clench, ultimately feeling defeated as you had once again expected too much of Jisung to reciprocate his feelings.

Too indulged in your thoughts, you didn't bother taking notice of the pity looks you were received by your friends. Chaeryeong glared at the audacious boy while Yunjin patted your shoulder comfortingly.

"You should move on." Yunjin mumbled.

"Yeah, you deserve way better." Chaeryeong chimed in.

You could only offer a meek shrug, "It's probably nothing, guys."

But even your own voice couldn't believe the words, knowing well enough that it was hopeless to string onto a thread that was never held onto on the other end.

It was evident from your persistence that you were determined to hold onto the shred of hope that maybe, just maybe it could work. That those years of pinning would be worth it.

"You know the guy from Econ is totally into you." Yunjin spoke up, redirecting the topic.

You perked up but remained an uninterested expression.

"Oh, come on. I'm not asking you to fuck him or anything." She said. "Maybe try get to know him, he's really sweet."

"Are you talking about that guy that helped her carry her stuff to class." Chaeryeong voice raised excitedly.

"Seungmin? He's nice to everyone." You justified, dismissing your friend's exaggerated story.

"But he's more nicer to you." Yunjin rebutted, earning an agreement nod from your red-haired friend.

"And I may or may not have heard him talking to Hyunjin about wanting your number." She added.

You scoffed playfully, "Thanks but no thanks. The last thing I need is another migraine from boys."

That was the end of the conversation. Luckily, your friends didn't push you further, allowing the three of you to eat in peace before the bell rang.

Bidding 'goodbyes' to each other as you parted ways to your assigned schedule. In some twisted way, you were glad that you were sharing this one particular class with Jisung. Both of you having similar major. Feeling the excitement rush through you as you made your way to the class. Students swarming in, looking for seats as you watched around in hopes of spotting the black haired boy.

To your luck, he was seated near the window with an empty seat beside him. In queue, you made a beeline towards his direction, only to have another bag placed itself against the wooden desk. Slightly flinching from the sudden intrusion, you looked up and saw the same girl at the cafeteria. Her sun-kissed face contorted into confusion.

"Oh, did you plan sitting here?" NingNing removed her stuff, "I can mo-"

"No!" Jisung interrupted abruptly, standing up to hold onto her wrist. "Sit here."

You couldn't help but watch with dull eyes as Jisung completely ignored your presence. His eyes gazing onto the girl as both of them shared a look of something that held a cruelly familiarity; a look of mutual liking.

"I-It's okay, I can find another seat." You stuttered, turning around quickly and grab onto a chair that was available and plopping down on it without looking back.

Biting back your tears, you didn't notice that the whole interaction was being observed by your classmate. Some whispered among themselves while others ignored it as if it was some normal occurence. You didn't have shame left to be bothered by their comment.

It wasn't news that your crush for Jisung was evident. Everyone knew, and you didn't bother to hide it because you were happy to admit it. You would broadcast to the whole street for your undying love for the boy and not a glimpse of embarassment would overcome you. However, Jisung would only continue to ignore you, of course, only on the outside. Afterall, it would ruin his pride for the class to know what he did to his best friend's sister behind close doors.

Staring distractedly at your unwritten paper, it was as if today wasn't one of your best when your lecturer had called you out, waiting for your answer.

Gulping nervously as you looked around to see students watching you, wanting nothing more than to burn a hole through the ground.

Just as you were about to utter your response, a hand swiftly moved a piece of paper towards your table, giving you a chance to catch the answer, making you read it aloud.

Your lecturer gave you stern look, as if reprimanding you before moving on to the next portion of the lesson. You sigh in relief, turning your head to the side to thank the person who helped you.

Seungmin chuckled at your flustered state, waving off as if it was nothing. He went back to his notes, scribbling down a couple of words before sliding it back to your desk.

'You okay?'

You smiled and began writing down before handing it back to him discreetly.

'I'm good :)'

He stared at the note for a moment before writting down a couple of sentence. You glanced slightly towards him, not wanting to make it obvious and pretended to focus on the lecture. Not a second later, the same yellow note slid itself towards your desk.

'Good enough to give me your no?'

You giggled silently at his bold flirting before deciding to give him your number. It was harmless, anyways. You thoughtlessly scribbled down. Little did you know, your little interaction didn't went unnoticed by the black-haired boy at the back of the class, who had been glaring holes behind you unknowingly. A sudden vision of green clouded his mind, a feeling that he hated deeply.

Jealously.

Pounding furiously against you as you were pressed up against the door to the janitor's closet. The cleaning tools were left scattered on the floor as he kept pushing himself closer to you, his hands snaking itself around your neck making your hips arched towards his cock.

Jisung moaned deliciously at the contact as he began placing love bites down your throat, slowly turning you around only to hoist you up by the thighs. You gasped at the new position, your legs wrapping around his slim waist, his hand coming to find itself in your hands, trapping you completely.

Just as you were about to release, Jisung completely removed himself away from you. His hands made is way to the zipper of his pants as he tidied himself up, you were left shocked as you watched him crossed his arms, as if waiting expectedly.

"Finish yourself for me. I want to see how you make yourself cum." He demanded, his demeanor not changing even for a moment.

You were hesitant with your moves, which only angered the male above you. Grabbing your wrist as he guided it towards your wet cunt, you maoned at the harsh contact before he lets go. His eyes urging you to continue.

If it was any other day, you would have felt shameful but considering he had denied you pleasure, you were more than eager to finish. Quickening the pace on your fingers as you shoved it deeper, scrunching your face in pure bliss, watching the way Jisung eyes were trained onto yours. His hard-on was evident yet he was more focus on the view in front of him, not bothering to fix his big issue.

Just then, the sense of euphoria came and your hand were painted with the colourless liquid. As you were about to wipe away, his hands held yours, stopping you. Inching his face closer to your cum-covered hands, he stuck out his tongue to lick it clean off. Your eyes widened at his actions, not expecting him to act so scandalous.

Once he was done licking like it was some popsicle, he gargled the remaining liquid and swallowed it down as if it was something tasteful, letting out a content sigh. Without saying a word, he left the room to leave you in a confused mess.

WEEK TWO.

Ever since that incident, you were only fueled by the same feeling in your stomach, the heart-fluttering butterflies aching your vulnerable heart. That had been the most intimate he's been and you were only craving more for his affection which, unbeknownst to you, was only the beginning. His texts were now more engaging and he seemed to want to make time whenever he would get. Despite your friend's disapproval, you were blinded by Jisung's false hope. You had even forgotten about Seungmin, ignoring his message on whether you would be available to hang out. All your mind could think of was Jisung.

Only getting disappointment when he would go back to a cycle of ignoring your existence and talk to NingNing on campus.

Oh well, it's a progress at least.

Though that meant that you were playing a very dangerous game when Chenle began suspecting the marks on your neck that were very prominent. Thankfully, he wasn't one to be nosy, passing off insults before walking off.

"Yo, could you stop staring at Jisung." Your brother snapped you out.

You had conveniently left your keys inside your dorm room and your roommate was not able to come back home as she was visiting her parents, which only gave you the only option to bunk in with your brother and his roommates. You would've slept with your friends, if it weren't for the fact that the both of them hadn't been home as well, making plans with their boyfriends. Luckily though, the boys had been kind enough to set up a room for you, which in exchange, meant that they were all sleeping outside to avoid any awkward circumstances. Hours had passed and you were getting bored with their loud cheering in the living room, struggling to tug yourself to sleep, you decide to observe the commotion.

Even without facing your way, his gaze focused on the video game in front of him, he could sense your unbearing stares for his best friend. Chenle groaned when he lost against Jisung, Mark offering the younger a high-five while Haechan cackled at Chenle's frustatated expression.

"Could you like, not be so weird around my friends." Chenle turned towards you, his friends watching you as you blushed deep red, walking off in a rush.

"Your sister's kinda hot." Haechan spoke up, earning a smack from Mark.

"What! It's the truth. Jisung, you're kinda lucky."

Chenle gagged, "Don't make me throw up. She's a nightmare."

"Well, you're saying that 'cause it's your sister. If any one of us has a hot sister, you would've totally went for it."

"I'm not having this sick conversation." Chenle dramatically declared before making his way to the kitchen, Mark following suit to grab a snack.

"You're lying if you're not in the slightest bit interested." Haechan whispered, taking extra precaution despite being away from their earshot.

"Of course not." The younger denied.

"Sure." Haechan's voice dragged on, indicating that he wasn't convinced. "So you wouldn't be bothered if she was talking to someone else, right."

Haechan provoked, smirking when he noticed that Jisung's hand tightened around the console. Despite his calm appearance, the older knew he was bothered by that thought.

"Less of a headache for me then." Jisung focused his gaze on the screen, not wanting to give Haechan the attention.

The older, of course, didn't like that. "So, if Seungmin were to make a move on her. You would be fine."

"No!" He blurted out.

That was when he could see the older's smugness through the screen, backtracking himself. "I mean— yes, I don't care! Why are you so worked up over this." He accused trying to keep the facade that was already cracked.

"Yeah, like I'm the one with the beet red face." Haechan fired back, finding humour in his reaction, happy that he has successfully got through him. "Dude, you know Chenle would be okay with it, right?"

"Shut up!"

Jisung rolled his eyes before throwing his console towards the older, facing the screen in a attempt to cover up his embarassed face. His heart accelerating from getting caught by a loudmouth like Haechan.

Luckily his embarassment was cut off short when Chenle and Mark came back in with snacks on their hand.

"So, you guys going to Sunwoo's party next Friday." Mark munched on his chips.

The sudden silence as the group checked their schedule.

1:56 am

"Oh, shit! We should probably stop soon."

"Yeah, soon!" Haechan mumbled, too engrossed in his game.

"But you guys are going, right?" Mark confirmed.

Earning a collective hum before the four of them went back to their video game, reminding themselves that it was only one game and that they would go to sleep afterwards.

Newsflash: It wasn't one round of gaming.

Which is why the three of them ended up being knocked up in the couch, Mark's loud snoring annoyed Jisung as he twisted his body back and forth, groaning when he realised he couldn't sleep.

Suddenly, a devious plan came to mind. Removing the blanket off of him, he tip-toed towards the closed door. Luckily, you were still wide awake, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. You perked up when you heard the sound of the door opening, Jisung's head peeking in. Stepping inside, you knew what he was in for...

Morning soon kicked in, rubbing your eyes. You wrapped the blanket around your bare body tightly, looking to the side to find Jisung no longer by your side. Groaning from the slight ache, you made your way to the bathroom, which was thankfully connected to the room, sparing you the intrusion.

All of your classes were in the afternoon, which gave you time to prepare breakfast. It didn't take long for you to find some ingredients, which was thankfully, not expired, knowing how lazy Chenle would get in cleaning up his stuff. The smell of freshly cooked pancakes awakened the boys. Yawning aloud as they sat down, as if awaiting for their meal. You rolled their eyes before setting a stack in front of them.

"Mm, you're the best." Haechan moaned dramatically, taking a bite. Mark humming in agreement.

"Don't you guys brush your teeth?" You asked in disgust, ignoring his compliment.

"We usually brush after."

"Gross."

A noise of protest erupt, which made you laugh. Just as you were about to make another one, in came Jisung. The last to be awake.

"Ji, come try this. She's such a good cook!" Haechan praised.

"It's just pancake." You humbled yourself.

"Yeah, you can chill out. This taste like ass." Chenle called out, which made you glare at your brother.

"Well, give me then!" You held your hand out.

Chenle only took the plate further from your reach, sticking his tongue out in mockery. Annoyed, you grabbed the spatula and whacked him across the face. Mark and Haechan laughed as Chenle began to chase you around, threatening you with a string of profanities escaping his mouth. You retaliated further by shoving him away. The sight of bickering between the siblings made Jisung smile, finding you adorable... wait, what?

"No thanks." He mumbled, quickly changing his mood back before you noticed.

"Oh, by the way, you should check your phone. NingNing's been texting you." Mark informed.

You tensed at the mention of the girl, pausing you actions briefly.

"Oh, right. I'll check it later." He said dismissively.

"So, what's your status with her?" Chenle asked, panting slightly from exhaustion.

You pretended to busy yourself in the sink, tuning in into their conversation without making it obvious.

"I don't know." He replied dryly.

"Oh, come on. She probably likes you, you've been pinning her since, what, last year?" Mark prodded.

You didn't want to hear the rest as you quickly excused yourself, telling them you had to meet your friends. Grabbing your stuff as you dashed out, in a hurry.

"Dude, we totally forgot your sister likes Ji. Oh, she's gonna be crushed." Haechan pointed out, his eyes widened comically as he pointed at the younger.

Chenle was the one to speak up, shrugging, "Who cares? She'll get over it." Chenle patted Jisung's shoulder, "Besides, we should be more worried about helping him ask the hottest chick out."

Jisung awkwardly chuckled.

"Right."

The day passed by unusually fast and Jisung still hasn't gotten a text from you. Don't get him wrong, he hated when you would get too clingy and risk the both of you getting caught but you would have usually been online by the time he opened his messaging app. It was rather impressive that you would be able to know the perfect moment to predict when he would text you. However, this time, Jisung saw that you were active three hours ago. He didn't think too much of it and switched off his phone, redirecting his attention back onto the lecture. Passing by the day as per normal.

Little did he know, that you were sulking on the other side of campus. Chaeryeong and Yunjin sitting on either side of you as you began to overthink.

"I thought we were doing okay." You mumbled, pulling your hair out in frustation.

"It's not you. You know what Jisung is like, you can't blame yourself." Chaeryeong scolded.

Just then, you watched as NingNing made her way towards campus. Her head hung low as she was focused on her phone. You could see her smile brightly, indicating that she was probably texting someone. For some reason you knew exactly who it was from how giddy she was acting. A part of you felt guilty for being selfish.

"Do you guys think I should really move on?" You asked meekly.

The both of them shot you a deadpanned look, as if ridiculing you for asking a dumb question. But the they didn't get to answer when you sat up straight, as if a lightbulb appeared on your head. "You know what?" You stood up, "I am going to move on!"

"Really?" Yunjin asked excitedly, standing up as well.

"Yes! Afterall, he only arranged this ordeal to get over his one sided crush." You waved off.

"What!" Both of them yelled in unison. "Yeah," You shrugged as if it was nothing. "He even moaned the wrong name in bed but that's besides the point."

"And you're only telling us this now?!"

You looked confused, "I thought I told you guys already."

"Uh, no you didn't. You said you guys hooked up accidentally and that's what made him want to do it again." Grabbing your shoulders, shaking them vigorously as if she was trying to wake you up, "You didn't tell us he was blatantly using you as a rebound." Yunjin said in fury, having been shocked by the sudden discovery. Chaeryeong, on the other hand wanted to punch the boy whenever he is on sight now.

"I mean, at least he got what he wanted now." You smiled, "It's totally fine, I should be happy for him."

Your friends looked at you in pity as you try to remain cheerful, not wanting to break down.

"I say we should forget about him completely."

WEEK THREE.

A few days went by and you were out hanging with your friends. Though, it would be a lie to say you weren't tempted when Jisung were to text you. It has been days without your usual sessions but he wouldn't really push the matter further, making you think that he didn't really care. In fact, you swore you saw him walking with NingNing on campus the other day. That thought had lessened the heartbreak and you soon got better at ignoring him completely.

Little did you know that Jisung began to worry about your absence. Growing more annoyed when you refuse to look at him whenever the both of you crossed paths in the hallway, even when you shared the same class, you weren't as eager to sit beside him. In fact, choosing a seat that was far from where he could see you. But in Jisung's classic way of dealing things, he ignored it, thinking that he might be exaggerating and that you were probably busy, opting to wait for you to approach him. Like you've always have.

Which was why you were fine with going to a party with your friends, knowing that if Jisung were there, he wouldn't even make an attempt to be near you.

But boy, were you wrong.

To say you were uncomfortable was an understatement, but to be fair, you hadn't had the best experience with parties. The first time you had gotten black-out drunk that you threw up all over Yunjin (you apologised later on, of course) and was forced to go back home earlier, with a massive hangover the next day. The next couple of times were consists of awkward mingling, considering you weren't one to be social. You vow to never attend a party ever again. Of course, until a few circumstances had changed.

Now, here you are, standing awkwardly while your friends were having the time of their lives. They were quite experience with the whole lifestyle, while you, on the other hand, just watched with a forced smile and they greet other college students. The liquid in the red solo cup was left untouched in your hands.

Walking through the crowds, you had lost your path with your friends, leaving you alone. As you frantically look around you, a hand clasped onto your shoulder. Turning around, you saw a beaming Seungmin.

"Didn't know you'd be here."

"Never really thought this through." You laughed awkwardly, "I didn't know why I bothered coming here."

"Parties are not your thing, huh?" He concluded, grabbing your hand as the both of you went to a more quieter area.

You didn't answer because if was fairly obvious, instead asking him back. He looked away before giving you a cheeky smile, "My friend dragged me here."

"The one making out with that girl." You pointed, watching his blonde-haired friend, Hyunjin, getting handsy.

"Yup. That's him." He scratched his head.

A moment of silence takes place before you decided to speak up, "I'm sorry for ghosting you, by the way."

He perked up, "It's alright."

"No, I'm serious. An asshole move on my part."

"Well, I can't blame you. You seemed pretty smitten with Jisung." He said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah." You admitted, "But I'm over him now, well— in the process of."

He smiled, "Finally finding dignity for yourself, huh?"

"Hey!" You hit his arm, taking an offense at his words.

His laughter fueled in your anger but you soon find humour as you too, laughed along with him. And just like that, you spent the whole party talking to Seungmin.

That view alone made both of you appear to look like a couple, which was harmless. But in Jisung's eyes, it is deemed as a threat. Having had arrived an hour prior to the party, his gaze like a hawk as he eyed the both of you laughing away, ignoring Chenle's ranting.

"What have you been staring at?" Chenle moved his head towards the male, trying to match his view.

Just as Chenle eye's landed on your figure, he hummed in amusement, "Guess she finally got over you."

He joked, patting the male. But Jisung couldn't pick up on his words, not when he was fuming in anger.

Luckily though, Chenle got distracted by Haechan calling out to him, which served as a great escape for him to march towards you.

"You want to go outside?" He heard the voice of the sickening male, Seungmin's hands carressing your arms.

In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to take you away.

Which was what happened, because the next thing you could register was a sudden pull on the arm, dragging you away. It happened to quickly that not even Seungmin could utter in protest, which resulted you getting sucked into the mysterious hand. You didn't put up a fight though, knowing deep down the hand that it belongs to.

You sigh, getting tired of Jisung's mixed signals and wanting nothing more than to end the madness once and for all.

He pushed you towards an empty room before making his way in, locking the door while he slammed it shut. His back was turned towards you and you could only let out a grumble of complaint.

"So you dragged me here to give me the silent treatment." You provoked, "If you want to fuck me, just get it done and over with."

He turned around, facing you with eyes you could never read. Jisung was hard to understand and you couldn't figure out what he was thinking at the moment.

"That's not what I want to do."

"Then what is it, surely it isn't to talk. We never talk anyways, we just fuck." You scoffed, "So, try again." You scoffed, taking a step towards him.

He grabbed his hair in frusatation, "I don't know— fuck! I don't know, okay!"

"No! It's not okay because I'm sick of you treating me like a side piece. You got yourself a girlfriend now so why the hell are you still with me!" You yelled out.

"Because I like you too!" He blurted.

You widened your eyes at the sudden confession. "I like you, okay? I always have since we were kids too and I got scared so I tried to get over you by talking to her. I didn't realise how far I have gotten."

You shook your head, "Well, that's the thing. You don't think, you just do. I have made it clear from the start about my feelings but you just use it against me to fuck! You have never liked me so don't you dare fucking lie to me!"

"I'm not lying." He took a step forward, which only made you back away in disgust.

He didn't made an attempt afterwards, his eyes pleading as he watched you shuffle away.

"Well, isn't that a fucking useful information." Your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Fuck me then."

"What."

"You heard me, I said. Fuck. Me."

For the first time, it felt that you had the upper-hand. From the way Jisung seem to be more intimidated by your voice. You wanted him to feel the pain that you felt. Used like how he used you. You wanted to get back at him.

"If you don't, I'll leave."

That seemed to set a fire alarm in his ears because he was quick on his feet. His hand coming up to harshly grip onto your shirt to pull it off. You obliged, moving your hand to his neck to wrap it around his neck. With a quick tug, you pulled Jisung onto the bed, his back landed on the soft matress as you straddled his hips.

He groaned when you hastily reached his zipper, pulling down his cock. which slapped against his stomach in an instant. Veiny and red.

He was about to lean in for a kiss before you covered his lips, pouting slightly at your refusal. A smirk played on your lips as you whispered against his ear. "It doesn't feel nice, does it?"

He was about to utter your name when you began pumping his length harshly, causing him to let out loud moans.

"How pathetic, I haven't even started putting my pussy inside." You mocked.

Sliding your panties to the side, you guided his hardened cock towards your wet slick, quickly slammed your hips against him once it was slid in smoothly. Both of you moan at the contact.

Bouncing against him with such speed, you could only struggle to let out few whimpers as he held tightly onto your hips, urging you to move faster.

You could tell he was nearing from the way his grip tightened. You were sure that it would leave bruises the next day. However, that was the least of your worries as you removed yourself away from him. He groaned in frustation at the sudden loss of contact.

"Why did yo— ah!" He was interrupted when you began sucking him without warning. His noises began to grow increasingly louder, which only made you shove your throat deeper, determined to take him in completely.

He moaned aloud your name in ecstasy, finally being able to release. His load painting your mouth as you swallow it clean.

He was panting from the pure bliss, having had one of the best blow jobs he had ever gotten.

He watched as you began to clean yourself up, slowly putting on your clothes. "Wait— where are you going?" He asked, grabbing your arm to stop you.

"We're done here." You said coldly.

"But—"

"You got what you wanted. I hope you're happy so don't ever contact me again." You began, making your way towards the door.

"Consider this our last session."

And with that, Jisung was left shock. Sitting alone in a stranger's bed as he was left defeated with the fact that you were never going to feel the same way for him again.

He knew he had fucked up. Badly.

©ruwriteshours

haru yo, koi — yang jungwon.

synopsis. Life is fragile. You’ve known this ever since you got diagnosed with a rare disease that gives you only 10 years to live. You tell yourself to not fall in love, but then you meet Yang Jungwon in the middle of a park surrounded by cherry blossom trees. But just like the fleetingness of the cherry blossoms, your romance with Jungwon is short lived. You can only hope that the universe will be kind enough to offer you a second chance.

genre. angst, fluff, friends to lovers to ?, inspired by the movie the last 10 years.

pairing. non-idol! jungwon x fem! reader

warnings. reader and jungwon are 22, mentions of death, hospital, disease, illness, one scene where drinking is involved, probably some medical inaccuracies

word count. 34.9k

author’s note. hello! haru yo koi is finally here and i am so excited for u all to read it !! i hope there aren’t any glitches or anything esp since i had to use the legacy editor 😭😭 so praying there’s no issues w this 😭 this is the longest fic ive ever written and i rlly rlly hope u all enjoy it <3 pls give ur thoughts / feedback in an ask or comment ! they mean a lot to me <33 enjoyyy <3

ONE.

The clock is always ticking. 

You remind yourself of this daily. Most people your age don’t exactly think about death coming to knock on their door — but you think you’re quite prepared. You have been for quite a while. 

You peer outside your window for a split second, taking a break from writing. You see people on the street with bright smiles plastered across their lips. You wish you could be as carefree as they are, and not constantly worried about whether your life will slip away in just the next second.

You were diagnosed with a rare incurable disease when you were 17. You’ve got 10 years, they say. But even though they had said 10 years, you could still pass suddenly – so in some way, you might have less than 10. Slowly but surely, you’ve come to accept that this is your fate. 

“It’s spring, (Name).” You suddenly hear the voice of Chaewon, your older sister. “Do you want to go see the cherry blossoms?” 

Keep reading

in my head - yjw

; pairing - jungwon x fem!reader

; synopsis - you’ve hated jungwon ever since you two met on the train to hogwarts back in first year; he’s self-centered, lazy, and always coming out for you. now in your seventh year, you’ve been named head girl (woohoo!). unfortunately, the head boy position was given to the one and only yang jungwon (boohoo…). with no other choice, you’re forced to face the annoyingly attractive boy and work with him for the rest of the year - if you can even last that long.

; tags - fluff, angst, crack, ravenclaw! headboy!jungwon, slytherin! headgirl!reader, rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, hogwarts au (with a modern twist), bc they have tablets and stuff

; warnings - a little bit of swearing, a lot of hostility between yn and jw, lmk if i missed anything!

; wc - 12.9k words (umm.... have fun!)

teaser

everyone’s eyes are on you as you stand up at the front of the great hall while the headmaster - professor bang si hyuk - introduces you as this year’s head girl. looking at all the students staring back up at you, you almost feel proud of yourself (keyword: almost). 

you’d think someone would be overjoyed at being acknowledged and recognised enough to have been given such a high position, but you aren’t. 

instead, you’re silently fuming, just barely keeping your temper in check as you plaster a fake smile on your face. your eye twitches as you hear a low chuckle from-

“the head boy, yang jungwon!” the headmaster announces. cheers erupt from around the room, all clapping for their new heads. 

“i can feel the waves of anger practically radiating off of you,” he murmured quietly.

yang jungwon. 

the boy you despised so much. 

listen, you don’t really hate anyone, but you’re pretty sure that what you feel towards the boy you called ‘yang’ is close enough.

in all your six years at hogwarts, you two have constantly been at each other’s throats. arguments often broke out between you in corridors; fights wherein one would end up stupefied or thrown against the wall; even little sabotages against each other that were subtle enough that teachers could pass off as an accident or your own fault rather than the other’s. 

for example, back in third year, yang had tripped you on your way into the great hall after everyone got off the hogwarts express. you had flashed everyone behind you and scraped your knee when you landed on the ground.

although no one saw him do it, you immediately knew who the culprit was, especially when he smirked down at you over his shoulder as he walked ahead. oh how badly you wanted to slap that smile off his face in the moment.

you retaliated the next week by mixing his white laundry with red clothes, so he was forced to attend his classes with pink uniform until he got new shirts. nothing satisfied you more than the glares he sent your way throughout the first day of his pink week, you could feel him boring holes into the back of your head even when you weren’t looking.

making your way back to the slytherin table, you thought back to when you got that fateful letter a few weeks back.

you slid the window open after spotting an owl from afar flying towards your house.

the bird flew in gracefully, and dropped your letter from hogwarts on the kitchen island counter, accepting the treats offered from your hand.

“y/n, please. close the window, would you? it’s so windy outside - it’s blowing away my papers!” your mother scolded from her seat at the table.

“sorry, my bad! i just got my grades.”

“ah really? let’s see it then.”

you scanned the letter, satisfied to see an O on all your subjects. although they weren’t your final NEWTS grades, they were an indication of how you did throughout sixth year according to teachers’ assessments. 

you’d been nervous at seeing anything below an O, but your friends had told you not to worry all summer.

“you’ve never dropped from the top rank in our year ever since first year, why would you now?”

“hiyyih, it’s only because of how much i’ve studied, but what if the expectations this year are higher? what if it’s not enough? what if i spent too many free periods sitting with you guys by the lake instead of-“

“be for real, you only did that twice! you’re the only person who’s actually spent their free periods studying,” rei said.

“well that’s what they’re supposed to be used for!”

“who actually does that! besides you, of course.”

“rei’s right, even yang jungwon often spends his frees with his friends.”

“that’s why he’s number 2,” you roll your eyes. “maybe if he studied during his frees, he’d finally get that number 1 spot he's been telling me he'd get for years.”

“it’s the fact he doesn’t have to study as hard to easily get second top student in our year. besides, weren’t you just worrying about not being first this time ‘round?”

that set you off into another episode of wailing and worrying about your results.

reading the letter, your eyes zeroed in on a shiny gold badge attached to the bottom.

  dear kim y/n,  we are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as head girl for this upcoming academic year. you will be working alongside the head boy, yang jungwon, and all prefects across the four houses. you and the head boy’s duties will be relayed to you after the sorting ceremony. congratulations once again, you are well deserving of the title. sincerely, headmaster bang si hyuk

you still remember your mother questioning you after watching your figure suddenly go from jumping around the kitchen all giddy, to sulkily dragging your feet to the table.

of course, you were honoured to be picked, but did they really have to choose your enemy as your partner? i mean, the whole school knows about your rivalry, and you guys have been told off countless times by teachers! so was this really a smart idea?

when the ceremony ended, one of the professors led you and yang to the head dormitories.

(a “benefit” of being one of the heads was getting your own room, separate from your own house dorms. but you’d still be sharing the common room with yang, so that wasn’t exactly the biggest plus in your books.)

“as you can see, you will have separate private rooms, each with their own bathroom,” the professor pointed at the doors on opposite sides of the common room.

“but you two will share this living space. there’s a little library in the corner as well. 

“now for rules..." he started listing a bunch of obvious rules - like what's allowed in the head dorms and what isn't, when you can bring your friends, etc.

“and last but not least, you aren’t allowed in each other’s private quarters,” he paused before glancing at both students. “although, i don’t think that’ll be a problem.” 

he’s right there, you thought bitterly.

the idea of even sharing the common room with the boy irked you, let alone entering his own room. you could only imagine all the stupid tricks he was planning on you right now - but you were doing the same.

after the whole ordeal, the professor finally left you two alone, but not before telling you that you should start planning out the prefects’ patrolling schedules so that you could meet up with them as soon as possible.

you and yang stared at each other for a moment, apprehension hanging in the air. this is the first time you two have directly looked each other in the eye tonight.

“so… i guess we should get to sorting out those schedules,” he breaks the silence, gesturing to the scroll of names in your hands, which the professor had left with you.

nodding, you followed him to the large table in the middle of the room, where you’d hold a meeting with the prefects tomorrow morning.

“here’s the list of all the prefects, plus their student ID numbers.”

“okay, we can use those to add them all into a group chat on hog-messages and inform them of the meeting tomorrow.”

one of the newer developments at hogwarts in recent years was the addition of electronic tablets given to every student, so they’d be able to communicate faster with each other. it had an app programmed within it called ‘hog-messages’ where students could message each other or their teachers, and create group chats, all activity being monitored by staff.

the tablets also allowed the students to be able to write notes down on it, but most teachers often preferred all homework to be written on paper scrolls anyway. 

all this was provided by yang enterprises.

yup. yang was the son of the wizard who introduced muggle electronic devices into the wizarding world, instantly boosting their family into riches and success.

the world was given to him on a silver platter, so he’s always had it easy. and unfortunately for you, the boy not only grew up snobby and privileged, but was smart too. 

coming from the muggle world, you entered the wizarding world with an open mind. despite this, you hated the ravenclaw almost as soon as you met him. 

his ego was high up through the roof way before he’d even been placed in the house, and he emanated a strong intimidating aura. as soon as yang saw you on that hogwarts train, he turned his nose up at you like you were dirt before you’d even spoken a word to each other.

nonetheless, you managed to work out a schedule together smoothly. but the lack of clashing heads for once put you on edge, you felt like something was just wrong.

“alright, i’ve sent a message to the group,” he said, staring at his screen.

“okay…” you trailed off, unsure what to say. “um, let’s be civil this year, yang,” you say instead, putting a hand out.

the boy looked up at you, before glancing down at your hand then laughed in disbelief. as if you had said you were going to run 100 laps around the castle.

“duh, i knew that when i got the letter. that doesn’t need to be said. are you an idiot?”

now it was you who stared at him in disbelief. there’s the yang you know.

lowering your hand, you scoffed and stormed into your room, which was luckily closer so you didn't have to spend another second looking at his pretty face.

you should have known nothing would ever change. you can’t believe you almost thought that yang had changed. of course he’d never grow up, maybe he was just made this way. 

on the other hand, the return of his ugly personality brought you some comfort. it was just something you were more familiar with. you weren’t used to the driven and focused attitude he had on earlier when sorting out the schedule, and you’d prefer to keep it that way. 

unpacking your bags and showering before changing into pajamas, you set an alarm for 6:30am, so you’d have time for the meeting at 7:30 and can end it before classes began at 8. you went to bed feeling prepared for tomorrow.

the next morning however, you woke up late. 

the sunlight seeped in through the curtains, and after a moment, you checked your phone for the time.

8:34am

crap.

you practically jumped out of bed and began to frantically get ready, pulling on the first shirt and skirt you could grab from your closet.

why hadn’t your alarm woken you up? you set the alarm two hours earlier. had you accidentally typed 630 into the calculator app instead from a tiring day?

however, when you check your alarm clock, you saw that it had been turned off. although, you clearly remember pressing save and checking that it was on before tucking yourself into bed.

you pause as you brush your hair, your thoughts coming to a stop.

it was yang, you realised. 

is this his idea of civil? you wonder what he's on as you slip on your uniform in panic. 

quickly brushing your teeth, you put on your tie as you ran out the room, a chill hits you when you remembered the prefects’ meeting you were supposed to have this morning.

oh my god, they probably think i'm an irresponsible head girl. there’s no doubt the bad impression being late on your first day as head girl would leave on not only the students, but the teachers as well. 

will they revoke your position? will they give the badge to another, more responsible girl? who preferably doesn’t have beef with the head boy? 

you cringed at the thought you might be punished because of something entirely yang’s fault, and he’d get away with it. as he always does. 

you ran down the moving stairs, almost slipping off the edge when it suddenly changed paths, towards your first class as you cursed out the head boy in your mind. 

but soon enough, nervousness took over as you neared the classroom.

there was only about 15 minutes left of the period, so was it even worth it to go? and besides, yang was in this class too. you’d hate to see the gloating smirk on his face when you enter and get scolded by the professor.

before you could decide however, the door opened, revealing the very boy you’d been planning revenge on all morning.

yang didn’t look surprised to see you there, evident by the grin on his face.

he faked a shocked tone though, when he announced your presence to the professor (and the whole class).

it goes without saying that you definitely had a bad morning, being held back in class for another half hour to make up for what you missed that morning. 

thankfully, you had a free period next, so you weren’t missing your next class this time.

although you hated yang jungwon with every fibre of your being, you weren’t a snitch. you wouldn’t dare expose him - mostly because it would be useless. who would really believe you, when you were already messing up so early in the year? and certainly not when it accused the school’s beloved heartthrob. 

so you took your punishment on without a complaint, pointedly ignoring yang the rest of the day, who didn’t even try to hide his smile.

you sighed as you made notes on griffin claw substitutes, all alone in the potions classroom.

september and october rolled by; even though you and yang continued your little pranks and tricks on each other, you guys managed your head duties just fine. he did his work and never slacked, so you were satisfied.

you had gotten your revenge on yang by charming his wand to vibrate uncontrollably two days later. you remember barely being able to hold in your laugh as you watched him struggle to conjure a flock of birds, an explosion of feathers popping from the tip instead.

from what you heard, he also struggled in his other classes you didn’t share, which delighted you to no end. 

“what are you skipping around all giddy about?” hiyyih asked you sceptically.

“just that yang seems to be struggling in herbology class, according to jang wonyoung.”

“what did you do?” rei eyed suspiciously.

“how could you accuse me of doing something?” you gasped.

“it’s pretty obvious - head boy and student #2 wouldn’t just struggle in a class he’s always done well in,” minji shrugged.

you rolled your eyes at your friends, but then smiled cheekily when you admitted how you’d snuck into his room that morning and cast a charm on his wand with a spell that would only stop after twenty-four hours.

“okay, that’s pretty funny. i’m gonna have to ask wony about it later,” rei laughed. 

your phone buzzed, and upon checking it, you were surprised to see a text from the one and only yang jungwon.

Hog-Messages YANG JUNGWON (ID: 78395) professor kim wants to see us

“speak of the devil,” you tell your friends and show them your screen. 

you watched as the three glanced at each other, equally surprised.

“wow, a text! from yang jungwon! and it’s not some evil curse or cryptic message!” hiyyih remarked, which you nodded to in agreement. 

rei laughed. “you guys act like he’s incapable of simple communication; he’s just relaying a message.”

“sometimes rei, i think he is,” you joked.

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 professor kim wants to see us

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 when?

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 after classes today at his office

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 ofc it’s at his office, you think he’d want to meet us in the restrooms?

YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 i hope u fall off your broom on the pitch also come un-charm my wand or something right now.

KIM Y/N ID: 78384 can’t 🤷‍♀️  sux 2 b u

"honestly, if i didn't know better, i'd think you two had a hate-love relationship," minji teased.

"ew, anything above dislike is something i will never feel for yang jungwon," you scrunched your nose in distaste. how could minji even think something like that?

"whatever," she snickered.

arriving in front of the professor’s office door, you opened it to find jungwon already inside and seated on one of the chairs opposite the teacher’s desk. you bowed in greeting before taking the other empty seat.

“so,” professor kim started. “we need to talk about your behaviour as the head students.”

you gulped. had you done something wrong? were those threats to revoke your position on the first day real? 

looking over at your co-partner, his face was unreadable, as always. he looked perfectly calm, which infuriated you.

“as head boy and girl, you two are setting the standard for the rest of the school. you guys are supposed to be role models. but i’m sure you already know this.” professor kim paused and looked at both of you intently before continuing.

“so why is it i’m finding out that you two have not been doing your patrols together?”

oh. so that’s what this is about.

you and yang had completed one patrol session together on the first week of school, and it’s safe to say that it was… horrific. without going into too much detail, you guys had practically argued the whole two hours that night; although it was unlikely, if there were any couples making out or young students causing trouble, they probably heard you two from a mile away and hid before they were caught.

at the end of the night, you both agreed that you’d just swap your schedules and patrol with other prefects - possibly the only thing you two had ever agreed on.

“we weren’t aware that we had to patrol together,” you replied when the head boy was clearly not going to speak up first. what a pussy.

it was a lie; you guys obviously knew that head students were supposed to patrol together. having been prefects in previous years, you knew how things worked. it was why you had done the first patrol together after all. 

but you figured that since it wasn’t a specifically given instruction, you didn’t actually have to do it together.

professor kim stared at you two incredulously for a moment, his expression somewhere between exasperation and disbelief. a pool of anxiousness swirled in your stomach at the way he sighed and pinched his nose bridge frustratedly.

“listen, i don’t know what si-hyuk was thinking when he had chosen you two as the heads, given your history and all. but he chose you. so please show that you’re worthy of the title - let go of your childish rivalry. otherwise, we may actually have to find new head students.”

“you could just let go of her, professor. i’d be able to work with any other girl,” yang finally spoke up. of course the first thing he'd say is an insult.

you gasped and glared at him. 

“clearly, you’re the one who’s childish and immature here. maybe you should be the one to get replaced.”

“enough!” the teacher slammed his hands on the desk. “if you two keep this act up, we will not hesitate to replace you both.”

and so with that, you and yang left the office in uncomfortable silence. not a word was spoken between you until just before you parted ways.

“guess we’ll use the old schedule again,” he said. you nodded.

being the end of the day, you were both too tired to argue. the heavy workload that comes with NEWTS in addition to the responsibilities of your positions, you both left for your own common rooms without sparing another glance.

the dreaded patrol round came sooner than you would have liked, and you found yang waiting by the castle doors. you always seemed to be the later one, as if he’d placed a curse on you with that trick at the start of the year.

he kicked himself off the wall he’d been leaning against when he saw you, and began to walk without so much as a ‘hi’ or ‘let’s go’. you had to quickly jog to catch up to him.

the air between you two as you walked around was silent and tense, so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife.

surprisingly, yang was the first to break the silence.

“i was thinking - we should plan the first hogsmeade trip for this term.”

“mhm,” you hummed in agreement. “i think it’s best to have it after the quidditch match in november.”

“yeah, at the end of the month. and people would be able to go before the winter break.”

you fished your phone out from your pocket and opened the calendar app.

“when should we have it?"

yang leaned over your shoulder to look at your screen. “let’s have it on the twenty-seventh," he says, pointing at the date on the calendar. "it’d be good to have the week between the match and the trip free so we can prepare.”

you nodded as you listened, typing up a reminder to speak with the professors about it. 

“hey!” the head boy suddenly shouted, causing you to jump. “what are you kids doing here?”

you looked up to find he had opened a classroom, in which three students in around 4th or 5th year were standing. they stared up at the pair of you with wide eyes, like a dear in headlights.

“what are you doing?” you asked, regaining your composure. looking at their ties, you realised they were in slytherin, like you.

the students glanced at each other worriedly and slowly backed away from the two of you. you noticed them hiding something behind them on the desk.

pointing your wand at the items behind them, you summoned it nonverbally, yelling ‘accio!’ in your mind. the items flew into your arms.

“you all better go back to your common room. it’s way past your curfew,” yang warned them. “20 points from slytherin.”

the group shuffled out of the room and quickly ran back to the dungeons.

“isn’t 20 too many?” you grumbled. maybe you were a little biased since they were in your house though.

ignoring you, yang sighed as he turned back to look at the contents in your hands.

“what is it?” he asked.

upon closer inspection, it seemed to be the plannings or blueprint of a large snake puppet that moved on its own, the quote ‘slytherin slays’ painted along its body.

you held back a giggle as you read the notes on how to make the snake glare and breathe flames out when faced with a ravenclaw. yang snorted as he read them as well.

“you slytherins are always so immature when it comes to quidditch matches.” you rolled your eyes and glared at him, imagining you were breathing flames like the puppet snake.

“at least we have a strong sense of support for our house. what’re you birdies doing? painting little flying banners that the players won’t be able to read on the pitch?”

“my team doesn’t need to read our house’s support. we’re good enough and know if.”

“sounds like there’s just no house spirit.”

“say that to me when your team loses,” he challenged.

“you’ll be waiting forever then,” you retorted.

“let’s place a bet. 20 galleons that ravenclaw wins.”

“fine! if we wins, i want you to pay my monthly subscription in an online game for a year."

“what?”

“i need money," you huff, crossing your arms indignantly.

“you need muggle money.”

“well, yes. but i mean, you can convert your wizarding money into muggle money, then pay for my monthly subscription in a game so i get game money.”

“that sounds useless; for a kids’ game? and you called me the childish one?” he raised a questioning eyebrow.

“i wouldn’t need to find peace in an online game if you didn’t bother me all the time, you know," you complain. "you’re like a piece of gum i can’t get off my shoe.”

“you could just cast a spell to get the gum off,” he shrugged.

“you’re right, i’ll just cast a spell on you!” you smile brightly. “stupe-“

“oh my god, okay! i’ll pay for your stupid game - if slytherin wins, which you won’t.”

you smiled to yourself, a skip in your step for the rest of the patrol.

soon, the day of the match arrived; ravenclaw against slytherin (because of course it was). 

the morning of the match was lively as usual, everyone split between green and blue. 

you watched the large snake float above everyone’s heads in the great hall, breathing (harmless) flames into every ravenclaw’s face. 

just at that moment, you bumped into the trio of students who’d been planning the little surprise. you sent them a discreet smile.

“20 points to slytherin,” you awarded for the clever trick, but also to make up for the twenty that yang had taken.

suddenly, you screech when a flock of small origami birds flew and pecked at your hair, ruining the braid you’d put your hair in for the match. 

looking up, you noticed the small paper birds flying about the hall, pecking at every slytherin-supporter. this was definitely ravenclaw’s idea; no doubt yang had gotten inspiration from the those students you two had caught.

“you good, kim?” a familiar voice greets you. you turn to see the devil himself smirking at you, pleased with the mess you are.

“i was, until you got here.”

“maybe it’s a sign that you’ll lose today.”

“maybe it’s a sign you should shut up.”

the match started without a hitch. 

you scored the first 10 points of the match within 6 minutes, and by the first half hour, slytherin was ahead by 30 points. 

you enjoyed the thrill of being a chaser, trying different ways to get the quarrel past the keeper. in fact, you enjoyed flying in general, and being on the pitch.

that is until, you started getting pestered by the other team’s seeker.

you noticed yang seemed to be flying around you after a few laps, and sent him a questioning look.

“what are you doing, yang?”

“looking for the snitch, it’s my job.”

“well, i’m not the snitch. so keep looking!”

“well i’m certainly looking at a similar word.”

it took time to process what he meant, but when you realised, you glared at the boy.

“focus on the game- if you keep your eyes on me, you’ll be paying for my subscription soon!”

yang scoffed and looked away, searching the pitch for the snitch, sending you a glare before zooming away.

the game ended in slytherin’s favour, your team’s seeker barely clutching the golden ball in his hands before the head boy could reach it.

cheers roared across the stadium when it ended with your team’s success, students running onto the pitch in excitement to congratulate you and the other players.

“seriously, the way you threw the quaffle into the hoop while gliding through the air - it was so smooth!” minji gushed as rei nodded in agreement. 

“let’s go, there’s going to be a congratulatory party in the common room!” rei says, taking your hand to drag you.

“can i come?” asked hiyyih excitedly, who was a gryffindor.

“duh!”

you laughed as you followed your three best friends, when you caught sight of a certain person in the corner of your eye.

“wait, i have to do something real quick,” you pause to tell the girls. they stopped as well and looked at you curiously.

“what is it?”

“wait for me. i just need to talk to yang - head stuff,” you tell them off-handedly, before running off to the ravenclaw team.

“it’s definitely not about ‘head stuff’,” hiyyih nudges rei, who nods as they watch you leave.

you make your way to the losing ravenclaw team, even congratulating some of them on a good game. 

when you reach your target, you tap on his shoulder to get his attention, before smiling triumphantly up at him (wow, you never realised how much taller he was than you until now).

“what is it, kim?” he drawled with an eye-roll.

“the bet. i won.” you gloated, the smile never leaving your face, widening instead when he wore a look of disbelief.

“oh, right.” he sighed before scratching the back of his head, looking around thoughtfully. “let’s sort it out tomorrow, at patrol.”

“okay! don’t back down from your end of the bet.” 

“i may hate you, but i’m not a sore loser. see you tomorrow night, kim.”

“with my monthly subscription payment!” you say, waving tauntingly as you ran back to your friends.

“what did you need to talk to him about?” minji asked, putting her hand out to hold yours as you four made your way to the slytherin dungeons.

“we’re making monthly plans to help a student who needs it,” you say smugly.

“sounds like you’re twisting the truth,” rei laughed.

“but it is the truth!” you protested.

you found yourself happily scrolling through the game's catalog, looking to spend your newly-bought robux.

ever since your deal on the match, you found yourself slowly warming up to yang.

well, not to the point you’d consider each other friends, but you acknowledge each other in passing with a nod or quick wave instead of pointedly looking the other way like usual.

you also argued less, much to the relief of the entire school. however, they were still apprehensive, waiting for something to blow up eventually. it was simply too suspiciously calm and quiet without your voices yelling down the hall or in the corner of a classroom.

as the weeks went on, you two learned to get along better and better everyday, even willingly becoming partners in potions once.

sometimes, you would walk to the great hall together for lunch or dinner after a meeting. you even spent your free periods with yang, which you told your friends was because ‘they didn’t have any frees with you’ so you ‘might as well spend it productively’ with the head boy who coincidentally shared the same free periods schedule.

you did lots of stuff together, as expected of the head girl and head boy.

yet, you always avoided studying together.

others might think it’s because of your rivalry; how one might copy off the other’s or something.

sure, you laugh to yourself. let people think what they want.

but the idea of studying with yang again brings back memories of fifth year.

you didn’t tell anyone about it, not even your own friends. 

at the end of the year, you’d been practically glued to the library for two months, studying for your OWLs.

“mind if i sit here?” 

you turn up to see a familiar face.

“yang?”

“there’s no other free space in the library,” he rolled his eyes, making up an excuse.

looking around, you realised he was right. the only other free spots were next to students that were notoriously weirdos who everyone avoided. maybe he doesn’t want them to copy off his work, you think to yourself.

“um, okay,” you agreed hesitantly while sucking on a sugar quill, moving some of your books to make space for him. those sweets often helped you focus.

yang pulled the seat out and sat down, before beginning to study himself.

you tried to continue as you were, but had lost focus. not even the green apple-flavoured sweet in your mouth could help you concentrate.

you were hyper aware of his presence - the way he hunched over the table with his hair falling over his face. you watched him from the corner of your eye.

why had he chosen to sit with you? were there seriously no better places to go? what about his room? the astronomy tower? the little corner window by the potions classroom downstairs?

“relax. i can feel how tense you are from here.”

“does your oh-so-precious pure-wizard blood give you the ability to sense emotions like a dog?” you scoffed. he looked up sharply and gave you a serious look.

“i just want to revise for my OWLs; let’s keep our disputes outside the library, where we won’t get hexed by madame park over there.”

you rolled your eyes and kept your head down, going back to your own business.

over the course of the month, a routine slowly began wherein you would often study together in the library. 

sometimes it was you joining him instead, and you would just wordlessly take the seat opposite him. even when there were other spaces to sit, you two always chose to sit together in the corner table, hidden from the rest of the school.

a word was never spoken between the two top students. and you never told your friends about the little arrangement either.

his presence quickly became something of a comfort for you - it was easier to focus on your studies when he was there. and if you ever needed help with something, he’d give you a few pointers when you finally begrudgingly asked.

he never asked you for help though, which always reminded you why he was number 2. it infuriated you how you had to work twice as hard than him just to barely surpass the boy.

whenever you heard people talking of him in passing, he was always nicknamed ‘the prodigy boy’. what were you called? ‘the girl that was good for a muggle-born’.

he was your rival, but you weren’t his. and he’s made that clear since the day you met.

and yet, despite all the resentment you held for him, you enjoyed his company. OWLs were stressing the life out of everyone, but it felt like you could get through it with him sitting across you.

maybe it’s because he motivated you to keep working harder, to try more so you could widen the gap between your ranks. seeing him everyday reminded you of why you tried so hard. maybe you wanted to show him (and everyone else) that being muggle-born doesn’t mean you’re any less than those born in this world. 

at least that’s what you told yourself. 

but it doesn’t explain why you began to glance at his lips every time he sat across you. 

it doesn’t explain why butterflies began to flutter in your stomach when you felt the warmth of his body close to yours as he’d lean over your shoulder and point at the book when you asked for help. or why you felt giddy when you’d play with each other’s feet under the table.

until one day, he’d dropped his smart-quill on the floor, and you were quicker to kneel down from your seat to get it. 

“here,” you said, handing him the quill, still on your knees on the floor.

as you faced him, you realised the close proximity only then. 

you stared into his eyes that pulled you in, keeping you locked and unable to escape from his gaze. he stared right back, the quill forgotten in your hand, which now lay on his left knee.

you didn’t even realise the way he slowly leaned down until he cupped your cheek.

his touch was soft; you leaned into it. 

“is this okay?” you could barely hear him whisper over the rapid beating of your heart. all you could do was nod.

your eyes fluttered shut as your lips finally connected. a mix of pretty emotions burst in your stomach, filling you with a giddiness you never knew before.

it might have been just a few seconds, or it could have been hours - you didn’t know. that first kiss was everything you ever imagined it to be.

you pulled away first, finally running out of air. but he chased after your lips, kissing you again. 

the memory of your first kiss will forever be cemented in your memory. you were just two 16 year olds, softly holding onto each other in the corner of a library, hidden from the rest of the world.

you scrunch your nose at the bittersweet memory. who would’ve thought your first kiss would be with the person you hate the most in this world. 

when you returned to school for sixth year that september, yang acted like nothing happened between you two. 

he ignored you for the first month of school, not even bothering to taunt you like he used to. everyone had been stumped, including you, but he eventually went back to his usual tactics, albeit with a noticeable lack of ‘stupid muggleborn who can never be on our level’ comments. soon you two were back to your regular bickering as if he didn’t ignore your existence for the first month of school. 

as if you hadn’t shared a kiss just three months before.

now, your developing friendship scared you. you didn’t want a repeat of last time; his actions had really hurt you back then.  

you remember all the nights you spent in the library, waiting. waiting for him to come, to explain why he was acting like that. waiting for something.

thoughts ran through your mind, trying to reason why he might do this. maybe he realised he didn't feel for you the way you felt for him. maybe he went back to his room that night and wiped all the muggle germs off his face. maybe he realised he was too good for you.

you remember all the times you cried yourself to sleep, eyes puffy for weeks that even your teachers asked if you were okay. if maybe you’d eaten something bad or been cursed. that maybe you should go to the infirmary to fix it.

hiyyih, rei, and minji had no idea how to help you, because you refused to tell them what was wrong. 

and you never did. it’s simply too embarrassing. explaining that you kissed your number one enemy and then he ignored you for month and acted like nothing happened between you two was humiliating. you knew your friends wouldn’t, but surely if other students found out, they’d laugh at you.

yang probably laughed with his friends about it. you were just waiting, dreading to hear the rumours of how you’re a bad kisser and how no one should ever want your muggle-born, good-for-nothing ass. 

every time you walked past him and his friends, you’d walk faster and look everywhere but their direction. you imagined their snickers and smirks as they watched you run by like a pathetic loser.

the rumours never came however. 

no one ever looked at you weirdly, or laughed at you. you ended sixth year with a big sigh of relief, releasing a breath you didn't realise you'd been holding the whole year.

now, you found yourself standing next to the very boy who you had spent the end of your 5th year with, walking a big group of students towards hogsmeade.

you sigh as you think about your astronomy test on monday, which you’d rather spend the weekend studying for.

unfortunately, as the heads, it’s you and yang’s duty to chaperone the students on their trip to the village. 

you sigh and pull on your strap, hiking your heavy bag higher up your back. you think of the long day ahead, studying in the corner of one of the quieter cafés, freezing your toes off. it’s not preferable, but it’ll have to do.

yang watches you, eyeing your heavy bag of books.

“what the hell? don’t tell me you’re spending this trip studying.”

“alright, i won’t,” you roll your eyes at him as you two trudge behind the large crowd of students. it was 9 in the morning, and you were too tired to reply.

“wouldn’t you rather spend your time with your friends? you somehow have those,” he teased.

“well yeah,” you huff, a little irritated at his care-free attitude. “but not everyone can pass an astronomy test without needing to study like you. some of us actually have to work our butts off for good grades.”

yang stopped in his tracks, causing you to follow and look back at him questioningly.

to your surprise, he wore a serious expression, glaring forward and refusing to look at you. you must’ve struck a nerve.

“stop acting like you’re the only one in the world that has to fucking work hard,” he fumed. you’ve never seen him this mad, even in all your arguments throughout the years. 

“you’re always going on about how much you have to study this, how you need to work harder than me that - blah blah blah. 

“why do you always feel the need to undermine my work? always downplaying my accomplishments to ‘mere talent’. what about the tens of hundreds of hours i’ve poured into my own studies? the hours i’ve spent sat by a tutor since i was 6?”

surprised by his outburst in combination with your own irritation and jealousy, you couldn’t help but retort.

“are you serious right now? do you have to make everything about yourself?”

“oh because the world revolves around you? you are so fucking entitled!”

“me? entitled?” you laugh in disbelief. “you’re talking about how i undermine and downplay your work, when you’ve always been the one to yell out to the whole world how i’m a ‘stupid, pathetic muggleborn who’s lacking and can never fit in this world’!” students were beginning to notice your argument and were looking behind as they walked at you two now.

“so that’s what this is about? some shit i said two years ago?” he scoffed.

“some shit you threw at me for 5 years!” you throw your hands up in frustration.

“well maybe you’re proving me right with all your talk about just how much you need to study because you’ll 'never have it as easy as us'!” he yelled right back, mocking you. “you don’t know a thing about me.” 

you stared at him, panting heavily. everyone’s attention was now on you two, people watching instead of walking.

“kim y/n! yang jungwon!” you hear the booming voice of professor kim shout over the crowd. 

he stormed to you two, face red and veins popping out his neck.

“this behaviour is incredibly inappropriate of role model students! you two are supposed to be guiding the students towards the village, is that such a difficult task?” he scolded you and yang in exasperation.

“could you at least keep your feud behind closed doors? it’s incredibly selfish to ruin everyone’s day with your constant fights!”

you looked down ashamedly as your friends took this as their sign to finally drag you from your spot. jungwon’s friend, nishimura riki from 5th year copied their actions.

professor kim looked at the crowd which had now completely stopped to watch the show. 

“keep moving kids!” he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.  

“park gunwook,” he called. the gryffindor jogged towards the teacher. “pham hanni.” the hufflepuff followed. “you two will take over the role of chaperoning the students, since our head students are clearly unsuitable for the job,” he instructed, throwing you a dirty look. 

the two 6th year prefects nodded and began to walk behind everyone, feeling a little awkward at being put on the spot. 

you glared at yang one more time, but was met with a different expression instead.

yang met your stare with concern written on his face, as his tall friend dragged him away. it confused you; just a moment ago, he’d been furious with you, and now he looked worried? what was he worried about? what’s with the switch up?

you couldn’t ponder on it any longer, what with your own friends shuffling you away from the crime scene.

the rest of the day was spent tucked away in a little corner of a small café you found, one people didn’t go to as much.

the girls had tried to convince you to join them on their fun, but let you go when you told them you had star charts to memorise for your upcoming test. they seemed hesitant, but after witnessing your recent fight with the head boy, they reluctantly allowed you to go off on your own with promises of saving you a butterbeer.

you busied yourself with your books, not wanting to think about the weird events this morning. from your first disagreement in a while, to yang’s mood swing - it was better to spend your thoughts on what was more important.

eventually, you woke up in the late afternoon, only realising then that you had fallen asleep. the rays of light from the sunset seeped through the window, waking you up with its blinding brightness. 

how long had you fallen asleep? you could have been revising in the time you dozed off. astronomy was your weakest subject, so you really needed that precious time.

you groan in frustration, sighing as you sit up to straighten your back. but something falls off your shoulders as you do. 

you look behind you and realise it was a jacket, which had been left on your shoulders by someone. but who?

bewildered, you pick up the jacket (which had an oddly familiar scent to it) and turn back to your table of books. but before you can return to your studies, something catches your eye.

there, on top of a pile of textbooks, lay a green sugarquill. 

had my friends stopped by while i slept?

it didn’t particularly make sense though, since you agreed to meet up with them later tonight when you headed back to the castle. 

you picked it up, then noticed the note it had been sitting on.

sorry, i shouldn’t have said any of that earlier.  found you sleeping, don’t beat yourself up. you can do this. i remember sugarquills help you focus, right? don’t worry, it’s not poisoned or anything… goodluck on monday.

your heart squeezed painfully. his short message spoke volumes.

yang jungwon wasn’t one to apologise, seeing as he either never felt bad, or never really did anything wrong (in the eyes of everyone else).

you felt guilty too, seeing as it was your fault as well. you made a mental note to apologise to him in person later.

secondly, this was the first time he ever acknowledged the time you spent together in 5th year. it surprised you, because at this point you wondered if he had forgotten about it, or if it was all some sick dream you had.

heat rushed to your face and you had to put considerable effort into keeping your composure and not kick your feet and screaming right then and there. somehow, he’d remembered such a small detail about the sweet he left for you.

maybe the whole 5th year incident affected him more than he let on. maybe there really was something that happened between you guys.

or maybe you’re just being hopeful again. 

one thing you’re sure about though, is that yang jungwon is most certainly crazy.

“welcome back everyone!” you greeted.

it’s the first prefect meeting of the term, everyone who left for the winter break having just returned two days prior.

“we have quite a bit to discuss today,” you started, before looking at jungwon to continue.

“let’s start with the more interesting news first.” he paused, looking at everyone before going on.

“me and the head girl have been planning something this winter, and with the approval of the headmaster, we can finally reveal it to you: the spring ball.”

you watched proudly as the prefects began whispering amongst themselves excitedly. you were so hyped up to be able to plan and make the event come to life.

“we wanted to give the students something more exciting to look forward to. you know- before OWLs and NEWTs completely take over our lives,” you joke, pulling chuckles out of everyone in the room.

“the idea is a formal, floral-themed event that’ll take place in the great hall. it’s only for 5th years and up, but younger years may attend if invited as a date.”

“since you guys are prefects, we’re asking for your help setting up the event. let’s talk ideas for decoration,” you say, pulling out your tablet to take notes.

as you wrote down the prefects’ thoughts and input, you were already drafting a schedule in your mind for preparations. that was until, you felt someone lean over your shoulder.

forcing yourself to keep writing, you tried to ignore the way your shoulder brushed against yang’s chest. one hand holding onto the backrest of your chair whilst the other lay on the table, next to your arm as you wrote on autopilot, your mind circuiting at the proximity. straightening your back in an attempt to compose yourself, you only push yourself against the boy more.

you were sure your face was as red as a tomato. your heart was beating so hard you were scared jungwon could hear it.

judging by the way he huffed in amusement, he probably realised the effect he had on you. 

“focus, kim,” he whispered so only you could hear, leaning lower to your level. you could imagine the smirk on his face.

“i am,” you tried to say with as much nonchalance as you could.

honestly, the moment was really reminding you of all those times he’d helped in the library. deja vu was really hitting you hard right now.

the rest of the meeting went smoothly - at least, as smooth as it could be with yang constantly flustering you as he subtly kept grazing your skin. 

now that you think about it, jungwon’s been acting strange lately. more… bold? that’s the best way you could explain it.

you don’t know how it happened, but ever since the hogsmeade trip, you two got closer. after you apologised to him, the incident in question was never spoken of again, never referred to. but it’s clear something shifted in your relationship with the head boy.

gradually, he began to fill up your everyday life, seeing him more often in the day than you used to.

in the mornings, you’d bump into each other in the common room after getting ready, and go down to the great hall for breakfast together. or, if one of you seemed to be running late after breakfast, you’d make sure to save some food and leave it in the common room for the other.

in the day, you two shared free periods, and so spent it lounging in the common room, simply doing work at the coffee table or reading a book on the couch. music would play in the background as you two sat in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s company.

in the evenings, you might come back from a late class to find him napping on the couch. so you’d shake him awake with a “jungwon, let’s go get dinner.”

you could be studying in the library corner of your shared living space, and he’d always remind you to eat. even when it was past any meal time, he’d drag you off the chair for a trip to the kitchens, where he’d get a house elf to make you two a snack. he often asked for eclairs, noticing it was your favourite.

but yang jungwon didn’t just take up your daily activities, he was always on your mind too.

thoughts of how he wouldn’t like the cold dim lights of the slytherin common room, or seeing students that he’s told you he isn’t particularly fond of floated in your mind when you visited your friends.

you even found yourself comparing him to characters in whatever series you absorbed yourself in. you seriously couldn’t stop thinking about him.

the fights stopped completely, but you two continued your flirting friendly banter all the time.

once, you managed to find time in your busy schedule to sit down and watch barbie movies. jungwon (when did you even start calling him that?) had walked in to the common room to find his bag which he had left there, only to see you huddled up in a blanket while watching barbie as the island princess magically projected onto the wall.

“what’s this?” he’d asked.

“muggle movies from my childhood. this girl here grew up on the island when one day, she was found by a prince who was intrigued by her, and brought her back to the city, where she finally learns who she really is,” you explained while keeping your eyes trained on the projection.

“and who is she really?”

“why don’t you sit down and watch, kitty?” you’d always called him by that nickname during your petty fights, since his face reminded you of a cute cat. now though, it became more of an endearing nickname for the boy.

“i have to write 10 inches on the use of the lumos solem spell by tuesday.”

“that’s 5 days away! come on, don’t you wanna know? it’s really good, i promise. we can watch from the start, and i’ll help you with that charms essay, since professor song assigned it to us to, and i already got started on it,” you asked, twisting to face him with the best pleading look you could muster.

“fine, but only because you begged," he relented with a playful smile.

so that’s how you ended up binging barbie movies into the wee hours of the morning, sharing a blanket with your proclaimed enemy on the sofa.

“you honestly look more like serafina,” you tease him.

“what? but she’s a girl! wouldn’t wolfie be a better fit?”

“but serafina has more cat-like eyes! you guys have similar eyes.”

“are you serious right now? they’re both cats!” he gestures to the movie, paused at the last scene.

“but you really look like her!” you insist, using both hands to point at each corner of his eyes, shifting closer to him. “they’re upturned.”

“didn’t realise you knew that about me, babe.” he wrapped his own hands around your wrists, as they hovered above his face. “if i’m serafina, you must be wolfie.”

“why? because we’re partners in crime?” you snorted at his suggestion. “they get married at the end and have a bunch of little kitties too. you want that?”

“if that’s what you’d like,” he shrugged, his lips pulling into a downwards smile.

you stared at him incredulously, heartbeat suddenly pounding as you looked into the growing smug look on his face. his eyes that managed to shine even in the dark never failed to root you on the spot, unable to look away.

what were you feeling? you've looked at jungwon so many times over the past 5 years, but the boy's gaze never made you feel like this way before. like you were floating on air; like you could do anything with him by your side, looking at you like that.

in fact, thinking back to all your years of knowing him, it's funny how much things have changed in the past several months.

you actually giggle a bit, sitting back, further from his warmth. you immediately miss the soft touch of his fingers around your wrists.

"what are you laughing about?" he asks, but he's laughing too.

"you. me; us."

"are we comedians now or something?"

"no, but we're definitely clowns of the circus." jungwon grinned at your statement, an amused huff escaping his lips.

"penny for your thoughts?"

"i was just thinking... how did we go from having wars in the middle of DADA in 3rd year, to watching muggle barbie movies at 2am on a saturday?" you think out loud.

"when you put it like that... we do sound like the comedy act of a show," he admits, scratching the back of his neck.

"at least i do."

"what do you mean?" you ask, shifting your position on the couch to sit up. you move your cold feet so they rest between jungwon's ankles, soaking in their warmth.

"our little feud - you know, the fights, the hexes, all that. it was all because of me."

"what? no it wasn't - i instigated a lot of them too," you say, trying to reassure him. was he feeling guilty and blaming himself?

"but, it was! honestly, if it wasn't for my stupid shallow thinking, we might've been friends way earlier." you looked at him patiently, nodding for him to continue.

"i used to think that muggle-borns were stupid and would fall behind in everything - school, work, just because you had no idea of how our world worked. honestly, i pitied and felt sorry for you guys, because i thought you could never be on our level. i know now how ignorant i was, obviously," he scoffed at himself.

"so when i met you, i thought you were an idiot. you are, don't get me wrong-" he teased you, causing you to roll your eyes, although smiling lightly. "but even though you're muggle-born, you always managed to do better than me.

"you were constantly the best student in our year- no, our school. you were faster at understanding concepts than i was, immediately getting things right on the first try. hell, even when i would go flying on the pitch to relieve my stress and then got recruited into the ravenclaw team in third year, i finally thought i was better than you at something. and then you joined your team in 4th, and was called the 'ace' of slytherin. what a blow all of that to was to my ego."

"i joined the team to annoy you," you shyly admit. "but why did you even think that in the first place?" you asked, not angry. you wanted to hear him out and finally get answers to questions you've asked yourself for so many years. you wanted to understand, and know the boy in front of you.

"well, you know that my father's company is successful. so growing up, i was given the best. my parents hired the best tutors for me, so i'd be ahead of everyone else when i started hogwarts. my teachers said i was their best student, my parents showed me off to their friends as their 'pride and joy' or something dumb like that. other parents compared their kids to me, i was that kid.

"i knew i was privileged though - that i had money and could afford to have this good education. so i made the best of it and constantly told myself that others would be lucky to have my life, so i wanted to prove i was worthy of it by working hard and pushing myself all my life.

"but with that, i developed the mindset that people who don't have money like i do can't have as much knowledge as me since they don't have access to it - and that included muggle-borns. you had zero knowledge of this world, which works incredibly different to yours. we have different moral compasses; notions of common sense; understanding of how things worked.

"so imagine how surprised i was to find that you were doing better than me in school. me, who had sat beside a tutor since i was 6, who was learning OWL content at 12. all this only for a girl who didn't even know magic existed until a month before to top me in school.

"that's why i was always angry; i was angry with my tutors for not teaching me better; at you for being better. but most especially at myself. for deluding myself into thinking that way." you two were silent for a moment.

"what changed?" you asked.

jungwon breathed in, preparing himself.

"5th year. i was finally learning to respect you, so when i walked into the library that was full of students, you seemed like the best option to sit next to."

"really? still hadn't gotten over that 'i'm better than everyone blah blah blah' attitude?" you asked, smugly tilting your head to the side.

"shush," he hid his face. "but... i got to learn how hard you really worked back then. i used to think you just had some gift for learning. but watching you with your head down for hours, i felt like i was discrediting all that with something like 'innate talent'.

"i went back home that summer confused and having a mid-life crisis at 16. my dad talked to me though, knocked some sense into me.

"he said that just because muggles don't know magic, doesn't mean they can't do anything. i mean, the whole idea of smart devices that our company is literally known for was taken from muggles! without you guys, we wouldn't have that in our world either. you created it, we just used magic to expand it.

"i was pretty shaken up after that, and was in a daze when 6th year started. it took me a while to sort my thoughts out and gather myself."

it was silent for a while, now nearing 3am.

jungwon just spilled out his guts to you, in the dim atmosphere of your common room. now you were the one collecting your thoughts.

"i'm sorry too."

"what? you never did anyth-"

"but i basically did the same thing as you. you studied for years and years, and i just always thought you were also naturally smart; that you never needed to study like i did because you already knew it all."

silence enveloped the two of you once again.

"...so i guess we're more similar than we thought, huh?" he smiled softly at you. you felt like you were floating again.

"i guess so."

jungwon unfolded his legs and opened his arms out as a gesture, which you gladly accepted and fell into his embrace.

"so, are we good now?" you asked.

"hmm, i still feel like you owe me something for all those years of endless anger and feeling like shit."

"you mean for enlightening you that we stupid muggles aren't so stupid?" you asked, face still buried in his chest, your voice muffled against his sweatshirt. "shouldn't you owe me? for teaching you a lesson?"

"but i want something," he pouted, pulling on your wrist.

"what is it? as long as its affordable."

"is going to the spring ball with me affordable?"

you turn your head to look up at him, who's looking down at you with shy eyes, waiting for your answer.

"i don't know... how much does it cost?" you play along. you already know your answer anyway.

"it'll cost you about..." he pulled out the calculator app on his phone, pretending to add up a total. "one kiss."

you laughed at him, finally pulling away from his arms.

"was that at the end of 5th year not enough?"

"no," he pouted, eyebrows knitted. so cute, you thought.

"alright then, but is it okay if i pay you that hefty price later at the ball?" jungwon sighed dramatically, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"i guess... but the price might increase to 10."

"that's okay, i'll give you as many as you want, as long as the first one is special."

"i didn't know you were sentimental like that," he smirked at you, kissing your cheek. you shrugged nonchalantly, smiling at him.

"i didn't know you were so needy for kisses like that."

"touché," he laughed, dragging you in for another hug, cuddling you until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

since that night, you and jungwon gradually learned to be comfortable each other. and with the ball preparations, there was lots of opportunities to do so.

you realised that - without the hostility between you two, it was much easier to find compromises when you disagreed on something. jungwon did things differently from you, but listened to your thoughts and offered his too.

as the weeks went on, you found yourself looking forward to meetings with him, missing his presence when he wasn’t with you.

something in the way he’d nudge you lightly when you were worried about something, wrap his arm around you and squeeze your shoulder, or simply smile at you brightly with those cat-like eyes of his - they were all comforting.

the change in atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by your friends either.

"what was that??" rei interrogated you when jungwon pulled you aside for the nth time this week.

"oh, he just wanted to talk about putting up decor later," you answer nonchalantly, taking a bite out of your toast.

"he has the same conversation with you practically every day," minji rolled her eyes.

"yeah, and i'm more surprised that you don't come ranting to us about every interaction you two have," hiyyih agrees, eyeing you suspiciously.

"well, i just grew up and matured," you try to defend yourself.

"if growing up and maturing means developing a crush, then yeah. you sure did." rei pauses before continuing. "is there something you aren't telling us?"

technically, yes. you weren't telling them about the development between you and jungwon - at least not yet. but you didn't exactly have a crush on the boy, in the sense that it was a one-sided thing and you were too shy to confess. but you didn't really want to tell them what was going on between you two, because you didn't know yourself.

were you and jungwon friends(-ish)? yes. but were you dating? no, definitely not. there's no doubt though that your strange, blurry, undefined relationship will develop soon enough, and you'd rather wait until everything's clear before telling your friends.

"she's not saying anything - something is definitely up!" hiyyih gasped excitedly, causing rei and minji to giggle, and you to shake your head.

you had noticed that jungwon seemed to always find reasons to talk to you, even if it's little things you've already discussed before, or silly simple questions like 'how's your day going?' or 'what barbie movie are we watching tonight?'

yeah, you two often found yourselves watching barbie movies late into a friday night.

you also ended up cuddling on the couch almost every evening after a long day of duties, particularly on patrol nights. after your rounds, you two would head back up to the head dormitories, where you'd flop onto the couch, and he'd jump onto you soon after.

the others would go crazy if they ever found out, you laugh to yourself.

the next day would be the night of the ball, so you were pretty wrapped up in helping out throughout the day.

"everything's set up," haerin, a 5th year gryffindor prefect told you.

"it looks really good," you tell her, looking at the great hall. it looked great now, and you were excited for how it would turn out in the dark of the night later.

"did you manage to complete the spell?" she asked curiously.

"i did, but i'm only 89.7% sure it'll work," you say, biting your lip. you hated not being completely sure about something, like an answer, or in this case - a self-made spell.

you turn when you hear a laugh behind you.

"i like how you have a specific percentage even when it comes to feelings," jungwon says through a grin. "your brain works weirdly"

"whatever, kitty," you roll your eyes light heartedly at him.

facing the great hall again, you take a deep breath as you cast the spell on the great hall, chanting the incantation as you wave your wand.

in a moment, the hall was filled with falling petals of different colours, though they didn't litter the ground messily, simply disappearing when they reached the ground. vines reached out from between the tiled floor, wrapping around table legs and growing bright vibrant flowers of their own. small orbs of light flickered throughout the ceiling, like fairies illuminating the scene.

"wow, it looks amazing, y/n!" one of the professors helping around praised.

"it really does," jungwon says, snaking his arm around your waist, his hand clinging onto your side snuggly.

"thank you," you mumble, as you both look up at the pretty scene in front of you.

soon, night falls and you're running down the staircase with your friends, holding up the ends of your dress to avoid stepping on it.

"careful y/n! or you might trip!" you hear hiyyih call out from behind you.

"she's just excited to see her prince charming," minji laughs, but the three of them are also running, holding up their own dresses.

the doors of the great hall open, revealing the breathtakingly decorated room, some guests already having arrived at the scene.

"wow, this is amazing..." rei gasped, enchanted by the way coloured lights perfectly illuminate the hanging wisteria flowers, and butterflies fluttering throughout the room.

"you seriously outdid yourself. how did you even do this?" hiyyih asked.

"only y/n could make a spell as complicated as this," jungwon's voice says, announcing his presence. "you look good, by the way," he adds when you look at him.

a quick one-over of his look tonight does not do him justice. so you find yourself staring unashamedly at his figure.

the way his waistcoat hugs his figure emphasises his broad shoulders, something you didn't even realise you found attractive until you saw it on him. a red tie lazily tucked into the waistcoat plus the rolled-up sleeves - it all made your mind go haywire.

"you would know, having been subjected to all the spells she's made over the years," hiyyih laughs at the memory.

"didn't know you spent so much time thinking about me, kim," he goaded.

"oh trust me, she def-" you cut rei off by covering her mouth with your gloved hand.

"thanks, jungwon," you say quickly, giving him a smile and pushing your friends away.

"he was flirting with you!" rei loudly whispers into your ear.

"and what do you want me to do about it!" you say, making sure your friends couldn't see the deep blush on your face.

"flirt back!" minji huffs out exasperatedly. "i'm sick and tired of whatever has been going on between you two for years!"

"yes, please just end it tonight! whether you get together or never talk about it again," rei rolls her eyes.

"what?" you stop, looking at them.

"rei's right, although i'd prefer for you to finally get together."

"wait wait wait, what do you mean?"

"are you being for real right now? you two have clearly had a thing for each other this whole time!" rei says like it was obvious. "we've known it for years."

"go get your man!" hiyyih sighs, turning you by your shoulders and pushing you away this time.

you try not to dwell on the thought of your friends betting on your relationship with jungwon, and pretend you never heard a word come out of their mouths.

soon, the headmaster calls for everyone's attention.

"welcome students!" his voice echoes throughout the hall, the music quietening for his speech. "first and foremost, i want to thank this year's head girl and boy for organising such an event for us. give it up for kim y/n and yang jungwon!" he shouts, a spot light highlighting your two figures in the room. you quickly turn to look at jungwon, who looks back at you with a smile, as everyone claps loudly, some even whistling supportively.

"and with that, may the spring ball begin - with the spring dance, kicking off with the head boy and girl leading the first dance," professor si-hyuk ends his speech.

everyone cheers and makes way for you two on the dance floor, which magically raises up in the middle of the hall.

music begins to play as you face the head boy, who inches closer to you every second.

time slows as he places his hand on your hips, guiding your hand to his shoulders. all other noise is drowned out by the sound of your heart, pounding so hard it might come out your chest. you don't see anyone but yang jungwon.

and he's looking at you like he sees no one else but you either.

it's crazy, how you're here, dancing, in the arms of the person who you've hated since 1st year - who motivated you to work hard during all these years.

you think back to your first meeting with him.

you could imagine the sparkles in your eyes as you stare at everything in awe, still in disbelief.

last month, a weirdly-dressed person knocked at your front door, and told your parents that you were a witch.

of course, you hadn't believed her at first, until she pointed her wand at a decorative figurine and made it float upside down. you and your family had been absolutely floored and confused. how could something like that even happen?

last month, the weirdly-dressed lady described to you a world that sounded fictional, of magic and creatures you could never even imagine. she explained why you had all these weird happenings growing up, things that were simply unexplainable.

your world was turned upside down in a few moments, and now you were here, on a train, to a magical school.

of course, you were incredibly sad to be away from your family for the first time in your life, but you were assured that you still had many ways to connect with them. and so, you set off into a new world completely alone, but with a lot of excitement.

you walked around the compartments as the train set off, peering and saying hi to other students.

until, you bumped into a boy who had the prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and the cutest little dimple that had 11-year old you's heart melting.

"be careful and look where you're going," he says nonchalantly.

"i'm so sorry! i was just so excited - i mean, aren't you? could you ever believe magic exists? i won't until i try it for myself!" you ramble enthusiastically.

you trail off when you see him looking at you with a mix of pity and boredom.

"oh, so you're a muggle-born, huh?"

"what do you mean?" you ask confusedly.

"well, whatever you think, i'm not like you. i already know what you just learned, and i already know what you still have to learn," he shrugs, picking at his nails like he ha better things to do than talk to you. "sorry, i think you're going to struggle a little bit here," he simply says, and leaves you alone in the middle of the train corridor.

what the hell? you ask yourself.

snobby rich kids isn't something you thought you'd experience in the wizarding world, but i guess somethings are just universal, huh?

something about the way he looked at you; talked to you like you were below him though - it bugged you.

"i'm gonna struggle?" you ask yourself in disbelief. absolutely not, you didn't want him to be right. you'll make sure of it.

and so, you ran back to your own compartment and pulled out your books, making a resolution to study everything and make sure you knew all the content. you wanted to show whoever that kid is that he's wrong, that you're better than him.

and so, the rest of the long ride and even your first night was spent catching up on what you missed out on, making sure you were prepared for whatever this extraordinary world would throw at you.

and most especially, preparing for whatever trouble the boy, who's name you learned was yang jungwon would give you.

gradually, more people join the dance, but you're so entranced by the boy in your arms, you don't notice how he's whisked you away from the main dance floor.

now towards the side of the room, away from all attention, jungwon looks down at you with all the love in his eyes.

it's overwhelming, you can't escape your emotions anymore. you like jungwon, possibly even more. you feel like all these feelings are about to burst out of you, and jungwon's arms are the only thing keeping you together.

"y/n, i think you still owe me something," he whispered, his face dangerously close to yours.

"and what would that be?" you naturally retort, having developed the instinct to talk back when it came to him.

"don't play with me, please let me kiss you."

"i don't think so." you pause teasingly, trying not to giggle at his pout, his dimple coming out. "let me kiss you," you say, finally leaning in, sealing your lips.

it felt just like the one back in 5th year, but better. jungwon held you impossibly closer by the waist, as if fearing you would run away. but you won't, and you never will. because in his arms, you never felt as safe and comfortable in your own skin as you did then.

you finally part for air, but jungwon's eyes never strayed from your face.

"i lied earlier by the way, when i said you looked good." you raise your eyebrows at him questioningly, before he smiles cheekily at you. "you look like the stars that put me to sleep every night."

"i didn't know you were poetic like that," you laughed lightly, leaning your forehead on his chest. "you look like my boyfriend."

"that's because i am," he says pulling you in for another kiss.

you don't think you'll ever get tired of kissing him. it's an unforgettable moment, and an unforgettable night.

you never knew you were missing something until you met jungwon, and you think you can finally breathe with him next to you (and your friends passing riki 20 galleons each two tables away). 

; author's corner! hii this was inspired by all the jily fics i've read over the years (whew i didn't even realise how long i've been reading fanfiction...) LMAO anyways may irls never find out this acc belongs to me bc my realistic self barfed at what i just wrote but my delulu self was kicking and giggling while editing but i hope you enjoyed!

; taglist @wonuslust @enhacatalog @makiswrld @forjungwons @yebin14 @lovelovelovebts @amanda-archives @beomgyusonlywife @bbinwrld@em-asian @enhamysunshines @ahnneyong @jungwonscafe bold couldn't be tagged!

☆.｡.:* jungwon’s just every bit in love with the student council president who keeps visiting his flowershop OR in which you find solace in a flowershop, and its owner’s grandson finds solace in you.

pairing: jungwon x f!reader

tags: strangers to lovers, fluff

warnings: i’m not funny :/ mentions of overworking and skipping meals (will add more soon)

status: COMPLETED

taglist: closed

featuring: enhypen, itzy, txt

inspired by: choibinn3’s get it together jungwon smau ! just reading it made me want to make my own smau so just giving credit where it is due (also we kind of talk the same 😟)

INTRODUCTIONS: profile 1 / profiles 2

01 - peonies (bashfulness)

02 - alstroemeria (strong bonds)

03 - amaryllis (beauty) 0.9k words

04 - chrysanthemum (rest)

05 - poppy (worry)

06 - hyacinth (jealousy)

07 - tulips (care)

08 - clematis (chaos)

09 - ivy (nervous)

10 - delphinium (goofing around)

11 — alyssum (insane)

12 — columbine (trembling)

13 — hydrangea (gratitude)

14 — geranium (stupidity)

15 — lily of valley (sweetness) 1.4k words

16 — gardenia (secret admiration)

17 — pine (embarrassment) 1.8k words

18 — iris (your friendship means so much to me)

19 — rose (you may hope)

20 — southernwood (jest)

21 — honeysuckle (bonding)

22 — rhododendron (danger)

23 — marjoram (happiness) 1.6k words

24 — thyme (courage)

25 — goldenrod (encouragement)

26 — hyacinth (play)

27 — myrtle (good luck) 1.2k words

28 — sweet pea (thanks for a lovely time) 0.7k words

29 — coriander (merit)

30 — arborvitae (unchanging friendship)

31 — hydrangea (gratitude for being understood)

32 — acanthus (hardwork)

33 — lotus (relief)

34 — yellow hyacinth (jealousy)

35 — baby’s breath (purity of heart)

36 — lady’s mantle (comfort)

37 — yellow tulips (sunshine in your smile) 1.3k words

38 — willow (sadness)

39 — red carnation (alas for my poor heart) 1.1k words

40 — basil (good wishes) 0.4k words

41 — pink camellia (longing for you)

42 — bay tree (glory)

43 — nasturtium (victory in battle)

44 — fern (bonds of love)

45 — sunflower (adoration)

46 — spearmint (warmth of sentiment) 1k words

47 — blue salvia (i think of you)

48 — lotus flower (enlightenment)

49 — lily-of-the-valley (sweetness)

50 — red tulips (declaration of love) 0.9k words

51 — tarragon (lasting interest)

52 — red roses (i love you) 1.1k words

special chapter — what if it had been beomgyu 1.3k words

## you, me and the moon. — l. heeseung

synopsis: lee heeseung is a famous frat boy who is known to be mysterious since he would always stay at the corner to observe people passing by but he does not like the fact that his eyes would linger a little longer on you than he likes to admit because who the fuck is he kidding? you're way too good for him.

pairing: fratboy!heeseung x fem!reader

content/genre: college au, fratboy au, pining, big ass slowburn (here we go again), angst, fluff

warning(s): i'll put them on every chap. <3

note: another smau !! i thought it would be a one time thing but here we are <3 tell me if you want to be added on the taglist okay? <3

introduction/drabble.

zero. — profiles. / profiles (two). / profile (three).

one. — how it started (pilot).

two. — how the first day went.

three. — how y/n bumped into heeseung.

four. — how heeseung became sunshine.

five. — how y/n got her favorite note.

six. — how jisung and hyunjin rated heeseung.

seven. — how heeseung almost got caught.

eight. — how jake concluded the plot twist of the century.

nine. — how y/n got a large cup of coffee.

ten. — how jay woke up a little earlier than usual.

eleven. — how heeseung priv got people.

twelve. — how heeseung and y/n got lunch together.

thriteen. — how heeseung is so stressed about sunghoon.

fourteen. — how a heey/n fan account was made.

fifteen. — how jisung's stupid lame plan worked.

sixteen. — how y/n got heeseung to dance.

seventeen. — how heeseung tolerates y/n's ass.

eighteen. — how the heey/n fan account survived the drought.

nineteen. — how y/n and heeseung had a deep talk.

twenty. — how it took seven days for heeseung to convince jake.

twenty-one. — how jake and y/n had a date.

twenty-two. — how the heey/n account almost deactivated.

twenty-three. — how heeseung is looking out for y/n.

twenty-four. — how y/n slowly distanced herself from heeseung.

twenty-five. — how heeseug did things with you.

twenty-six. — how jake got frustrated with heeseung.

twenty-seven. — how valentine's went for them.

twenty-eight. — how sunoo got banned in the e-sports area.

twenty-nine. — how heeseung told jake about his plan.

thirty. — how heeseung and y/n started talking again.

thirty-one. — how y/n broke it off with jake.

thirty-two. — how heeseung and y/n got their moon date.

thirty-three. — how heeseung's one mistake caused everything to make sense.

thirty-four. — how heeseung almost did it... again.

thirty-five. — how y/n is slowly getting impatient.

thirty-six. — how jake and sunoo realized.

thirty-seven. — how y/n did the job for heeseung.

thirty-eight. — how heeseung gave y/n space.

thirty-nine. — how they "talk" after the argument.

forty. — how jake knew y/n still cares for heeseung.

forty-one. — how the semester ended.

forty-two. — how heeseung talked to y/n.

forty-three. — how y/n spent her semestral break.

forty-four. — how the first day of second sem went.

forty-five. — how heeseung ended up in the hospital.

forty-six. — how the heey/n fan account came back.

forty-seven. — how it was just you, me and the moon.

alternative ending. — how you were such a good dream.

playlist.

memes. / two.

au taglist [ open ! ] : @amakumos @soobnny @jungwoniics @venusmir @clarakyunisageek @dontcallme20

permanent taglist [ open! ] : @ja4hyvn @goldenhypen @acciomylove @kuromieiie @baekhyunstruly @knrejj [ can't be tagged/deactivated: @robotsahi @sheepgardenenha ]

## buy one, take me. — l. heeseung

synposis: with his best friend asking him for help because said best friend was scared he wasn't "boyfriend material" enough, heeseung looks for flower shops for his best friend's girlfriend. thankfully, jake knows someone from the university who has an aunt that owns a flower shop, you. now, heeseung messages you and shyly, but shamelessly asks if he can get any promos or discounts to which you shamelessly answered him, "buy one, take me". heeseung doesn't pass on this, of course. after all, you are pretty damn cute.

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

content/genre: college au, slowburn, fluff, angst and crack, smau.

warning(s): swearing, of course. and as always, i'll put it in every chap if there's something you need to look out for.

note: yes, blod-talicized for slowburn because this is already planned out three years ago (but for another idol) anyway !! i'm excited to share this, my ass had been wanting to post this,,,,,, i already have the ending i just really need to do from part eleven up to,,,, that. so here you go. T_T okay, if i suddenly ghost again FLOOD ME MESSAGES/ASKS/IDC WHAT TO FINISH IT. TAGLIST CLOSE.

tags: r.asks: botm, botm updates, botm thoughts

sample texts. / playlist.

profiles. / profiles two. / profiles three.

ep 1. — the pilot.

ep 2. — the bf problem.

ep 3. — the help from jake.

ep 4. — the promo.

ep 5. — the benefit of jeongin.

ep 6. — the availing of the promo.

ep 7. — the two introverts.

ep 8. — the era of reporter sunoo.

ep 8.2. — the dog cafe.

ep 9. — the look. what look?

ep 10. — the panicking of heeseung.

ep. 11 — the time heeseung decides to trust y/n.

ep 12. — the real heey/n friendship era.

ep 13. — the star stamp.

ep 14. — the late night in the flower shop.

ep 15. — the biggest cliché.

ep 16. — the text-snapping of y/n.

ep 17. — the weekend of heeseung without y/n.

ep 18. — the two am ride.

ep 19. — the stupidity.

ep 20. — the time y/n blocked heeseung.

ep 21. — the whipped y/n.

ep 22. — the painful sight (according to riki).

ep 23. — the library.

ep 24. — the dog café pt 2.

ep 25. — the frustration of jungwon and sunoo.

ep 26. — the flowers and bambi sticker.

ep 27. — the pretty dense boy texting y/n.

ep 28. — the message from jay.

ep 29. — the look heey/n give.

ep 30. — the pet name.

ep 31. — the switch up.

ep 32. — the no more denial.

ep 33. — the time seungmin called y/n 'sweetie'.

ep 34. — the way y/n sensed it again.

ep 35. — the talk.

ep 36. — the halfway there.

ep 37. — the another lame line.

ep 38. — the time heeseung accidentally kissed y/n.

ep 39. — the drive-in.

ep 40. — the flour and eggs.

ep 41. — the favorite view.

ep 42. — the one time they used their main accs.

ep 43. — the origami flower bouquet.

ep 44. — the stressed gf.

ep 45. — the plane plan.

ep 46. — the time y/n isn't teasing with heeseung.

ep 47. — the time when everything is "fine".

ep 48. — the time heeseung forgot.

ep 49. — the fight.

ep 50. — the graduation.

ep 51. — the flower arrangement on the cashier.

ep 52. — the favorite flower of heeseung.

ep 53. — the fact that heeseung is still jealous.

ep 54. — the supposed three year anniversary of heey/n.

ep 55. — the bubble chat turned blue.

ep 56. — the dumb flowers.

ep 57. — the time y/n finally replied.

ep 58. — the rehearsal dinner.

ep 59. — the flowers weren't dumb after all.

ep 60. — the lifetime promo.

bonus. — the matching icons.

bonus 2. — the pettiness of flower and seungie.

bonus 3. — the one where heeseung thought y/n's leaving.

bonus 4. — the one with heeseung's doe eyes.

alternative ending. — the one when y/n almost stayed.

marriage discount; p. sunghoon [ fem!reader ]. — after endless of weddings that sunghoon attends to, he's been spending non-stop. so, upon hearing about a discount for married people even if it's just in the dry cleaners, sunghoon tells the employee that the girl, who happens to be you, walked in in the shop is his wife. even if he doesn't know you.

heeracha, 2022.

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

⤲ 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐄𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧, 𝐈𝐓𝐙𝐘'𝐬 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐚 & 𝐑𝐲𝐮𝐣𝐢𝐧, 𝐏𝐢𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐉𝐢𝐮𝐧𝐠 & 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐡𝐨, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐂'𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧

⤲ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 | 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

⤲ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓: 𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝟕𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | 𝐄𝐍𝐃: 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟑𝐓𝐇, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤲ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 & 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐟'𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐦𝐥

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: "𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐞"

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄: 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐲?

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝

⤲ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑: 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐬?

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐰𝐡𝐲?

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘: 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞?

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧'𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: "𝐬𝐚𝐝" 𝐟𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐠𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐩

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

⤲ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐝𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐮 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘: 𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐰𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: (𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠)

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐟𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

⤲ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘: 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

𝐍𝐨 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠! 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲!

VERBOTEN - LEE HEESEUNG [complete]

enhypen masterlist

VERBOTEN; meaning forbidden or banned

SYNOPSIS; a bad stroke of luck saw lee heeseung, your dads coworker, moving into your small apartment until he found his feet again. emotionally unavailable and a workaholic, you were going to try your absolute hardest to make him loosen up. even if it meant breaking a few of the house rules he'd set out.

PAIRING; reader x older heeseung

GENRE; social media au, lots of smut, angst with happy ending

CHARACTERS; enhypen members, &team members

WARNINGS; little age gap (heeseung is 28, reader is 22), jay/jake/hoon will also be aged up a little to 23/24, heavy dom sub undertones in this with heeseung being the dom ofc, daddy kink included, lots of sexual content with 02z included, swearing, will add more as the smau develops

START; 24/09/23

END; 02/12/23

TAGLIST; open! pls send an ask to be added and ensure your blog has your age clearly stated on it ^^

PROFILES

CHARACTER MOODBOARDS; heeseung | yn

ONE; is your cousin cute though?

TWO; mr song

THREE; use it in a sentence

FOUR; he's actually insane

FIVE; just some guy

SIX; bro code or something

SEVEN; look at me, this isn't you

EIGHT; mind the attitude

NINE; when I catch you riki

TEN; good girl

ELEVEN; you haven't connected shit

TWELVE; I'm not the fucking den mother

THIRTEEN; my ancestors are british

FOURTEEN; cotton wool

FIFTEEN; want to go again?

SIXTEEN; pussy so good it makes you unemployed

SEVENTEEN; maybe like 73cm

EIGHTEEN; no bitches does that to a man

NINETEEN; I might be a whore but I have standards

TWENTY; barking and shit

TWENTY ONE; happy anniversary baby

TWENTY TWO; you're scaring the bitches

TWENTY THREE; please delete this

TWENTY FOUR; losing the idgaf war

TWENTY FIVE; quit running your mouth

TWENTY SIX; you're tolerable at best

TWENTY SEVEN; day 1 of not being delusional

TWENTY EIGHT; it's like the trenches out here

TWENTY NINE; on my mind constantly

THIRTY; my eyes only

THIRTY ONE; jokes on you I like that

THIRTY TWO; ignore jake's pining

THIRTY THREE; leave my son out of this

THIRTY FOUR; treat you so good

THIRTY FIVE; polite

THIRTY SIX; jake hasn't checked his emails since 2019

THIRTY SEVEN; let me spoil you

THIRTY EIGHT; yn x 02z collab is ending

THIRTY NINE; will you guide me?

FORTY; look at him and tell me he hasn't taken a life

FORTY ONE; reporting you all to hr

FORTY TWO; epic highs and lows of high school football

FORTY THREE; sugar daddy era

FORTY FOUR; I've been yours since the beginning

FORTY FIVE; it make alpha angry

FORTY SIX; I missed you (platonically)

FORTY SEVEN; it just doesn't sit right

FORTY EIGHT; your name is written all over me

FORTY NINE; anger management lessons

FIFTY; mrs lee

FIFTY ONE; in every lifetime

FIFTY TWO: a win is a win

FIFTY THREE; post malone crocs

FIFTY FOUR; he's an ally

FIFTY FIVE; friendsgiving

FIFTY SIX; me or mark from sales

FIFTY SEVEN; let him cook

FIFTY EIGHT; riki and jake is a dangerous combo

FIFTY NINE; baby fever

SIXTY; I'll keep loving you until you ask me to stop

BONUS CHAP #1; heeseung's rules

Invisible thread- one

pairing : minho x reader

genre : university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies because they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst.

warnings : reader has a very bad relationship with her mother, insecurities, talk about murder but as a joke, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

summary : Your studies were your lifeline for as long as you can remember. What happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?

word count : 20k

Author's note : I've been working on this fic on and off for the past two months, so if you do enjoy reading, please let me know. asks, comments, reblogs i read them all and they truly make me the happiest <3 (also i based this off my own college experience, where we study two terms and there is one person on top of the class every semester)

part two

You have always been first in your class.

Not because you particularly enjoyed studying. You simply felt that your worth was solely tied to the marks on your papers.

You never wanted to crumble under the pressure of studies, to hole yourself up in your room for an assignment you won’t remember in a month. But achieving good grades was the only way for you to feel seen; to make someone stop in their tracks and acknowledge you. 

A simple “good job” that you preserved inside your mind, as a reminder that you did exist to other people. Considering that the majority of your life was spent in silence. 

Your mom put a roof above your head and food on your table, but she never asked about your day, nor did she seem to care. You felt as though you were no more important to her than the tapestry hanging on your wall.

At times, you imagined that if you stood close enough to that tapestry, you could merge with it as one. The intricate embroidery would wrap around you and draw you in. And your mother wouldn’t notice. She would regard you with the same indifference she showed towards that textile- a mere decoration, at times a nuisance when she had to dust it.

You always ate your dinner alone. When you scraped your knee, you tended to the wound by yourself. No one attended your childhood musicals, and you patted your back when you cracked an egg without dropping a shell into the bowl. 

You’ve come to learn since your young age that all your milestones, both small and significant, would be celebrated alone. 

On the rare times your mother would acknowledge your presence, she’d unleash a flurry of criticism your way as if she was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to strike you down. She'd toss crude comments over her shoulder as easily as a casual hello, leaving you feeling battered and bruised in her wake. 

You felt as if you were shoreline rocks, and your mother was the ocean. You never knew if she would be like a gentle tide, barely brushing against you, or an enraged storm, mercilessly crashing down on your being. And you weren't sure which one was worse: to be invisible or to be seen and despised.  

That’s why you grew up plagued with self-doubt. You made friends throughout your school years but you never allowed them to get close enough to really see you -you feared that they might glimpse the very thing your mother seemed to despise in you. 

Throughout your childhood, you were like soft clay in your mother's hands- pliable, and easy to mold. And she indented you, everywhere, carved in edges and dips where they should not have been ones. Handled you roughly when you should have been treated with care. And as the years went by, you hardened- much like clay, but her touch remained imprinted upon you. It was difficult at times to discern who you were and who she made you to be.

You tried to start anew when you went away to university; to rewire your brain into believing that you were enough- you exist and you shouldn't prove to anyone that you deserved to be alive. But her words haunted you, they were like skeletons in your closet- but the closet was you. You could never part from them.

So, you fell back into the same pattern of seeking good grades and congratulatory words from your professors. Every A+ you got infused you with a momentary sense of worthiness.

But unlike in high school, you weren't always the best. Your competition came in the form of a single man named Minho, who seemed to excel in every class you shared.

Minho was mostly quiet, but whenever he spoke, you found that his words carried weight. Your professors consistently agreed with his points, and you envied the confidence he exuded. You wondered what it must feel like to be so sure of oneself.

It wasn't until a month into the year that you had your first interaction with Minho. You were in your Constitutional Law class when your professor Kim brought up the notion of ‘Separation of Powers’. You were arguing that judges shouldn’t be included in the writings of law when you heard a scoff from the row behind you. You turned around, raising a brow at the culprit, "Is there something you’d like to say?" you asked.

And in response, Minho smiled lazily, an air of smugness surrounding him, "I just don’t agree." The professor urged him to explain himself, so he leaned back into his chair, eyeing you. "Judges are the ones who practice the law every day, and sometimes they find that none of the written texts fit their case. If they get involved in lawmaking, they can help address those gaps or uncertainties." 

"Who's to say that those judges aren’t biased or politically motivated? They’ll end up writing laws to fit their own preferences," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "We elect judges to interpret and apply laws, not make them. If they start writing laws too, we'll be violating the separation of powers between the legislative and judicial branches. That's what keeps our entire system from crumbling."

Minho rested his chin on his hand, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with his index finger. "Aren’t legislators prone to biases too? Your point doesn’t stand then," he challenged, tilting his head to the side, "and judges can participate without going overboard. They can provide input on proposed laws without actually drafting them. That way, we ensure that the laws are crafted with a clear understanding of how they'll be put into practice." 

"If your main concern is to ensure that the laws are impartial, we have people who work as consulting experts whose job is exactly that," you flashed him an innocent smile, firing back. "Also, wouldn’t these overstepping branches put the judges in a position to be perceived in a bad light? Is that what you want?"

Before Minho could respond, Mr. Kim intervened, putting an end to your debate, "Let's save this energy for your essays and see who can convince me more."

You gave a quick nod, swiveling in your seat without a backward glance. However, you could sense Minho’s gaze penetrating through your back- as if he was trying to read your most intimate thoughts. 

That was the first thing you noticed about Minho when he walked over to you. His eyes were brown, not a special color by any means. But they held a certain depth to them that seemed to draw you in like a black hole. You weren't sure what you would find on the other side, nor did you have any desire to find out.

He outstretched his hands towards you, stopping you in your tracks. "Minho," he introduced and your hand met his in a firm grip. The second thing you noticed about him was the coldness of his hand, as it wrapped tightly around your palm. 

Suddenly you were taken back to when you built a snowman for the first and last time. You were just seven and the ice was freezing, numbing your fingers as you worked. Your mother never told you that you should’ve worn mittens, or a thick jacket to fight off the cold when she saw you walking out of the house. The memory of your cold hands and the horrible illness that followed still left a bitter taste in your mouth, like an unripe fruit. With a jolt you dropped his hand, forcefully pulling yourself away from that memory. 

"Yn," you said back, and he smiled to himself, repeating your name slowly, each syllable dripping from his tongue.  

"We'll see who'll write the best essay, right?" he asked, clearly challenging you. There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes that reminded you of a child gazing up at cotton candy. 

That was the third thing you noticed about Minho; how expressive his eyes were. They moved with his every word, punctuating them. 

He was infuriating but also amusing. You've never had a clear competitor in your life. Or maybe you had, but you didn't notice them. You were always so reclined on yourself, trying to survive the day, you didn't pay enough attention to your surroundings.

"You want to compete with me?" You asked, and he smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. "What? Scared you’d lose?"

"Please." You rolled your eyes at his taunting, "Don’t come crying when I win."

"We’ll see about that!" He shouted after you as you walked ahead, leaving him behind.

This essay was insignificant. A simple way for your professor to assess your knowledge and work approach. And yet, you found yourself staying up all night to complete it. There was no way you were going to let Minho take this one thing from you.

Who were you if not the best in your studies? You were deathly afraid to find out. 

Later on that week, the professor handed you your grade back, 98%. You turned around to show Minho your mark, and so did he. You surpassed him, only by mere percents. "I told you so," you smiled cheekily and he pouted, holding a hand to his heart as if your grade wounded him.

"I'll beat you next time", he mouthed and you chuckled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

✹✹✹

The first time you studied with Minho was in a cat café near campus, called Limbo, about two weeks after your initial interaction. You stumbled upon it serendipitously while strolling through your university town. You couldn’t study at home, since you were easily distracted in there, and the eerie silence of libraries often left you unsettled.

Limbo, however, offered the perfect middle-ground: it was calm, not overly crowded, and the buzzing of the coffee machine blended harmoniously with the occasional mewls of cats, which helped you concentrate better. 

You were sitting in a secluded corner table at the café's back, a sleeping black cat comfortably nestled in your lap when you sensed a shadow loom over you. You glanced up quickly to find Minho. He was clad in a grey hoodie sporting a bunny holding up its middle finger. You had to bite your cheek to suppress a grin at his clothing attire.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. 

"You know for someone smart you sure ask stupid questions," you remarked, already looking down at the papers scattered in front of you.

He huffed, taking a seat at the table right next to yours, "I can’t believe that of all places you’ve found this café to study in."

"My apologies, am I disturbing you, your highness?" You asked sarcastically, and in retort, Minho mimicked your words in a high-pitched tone. You threw the pillow right next to you at his head, and Minho swiftly ducked, easily avoiding it. He chuckled loudly while you glared at his laughing figure. That was the end of your conversation that day. 

From that moment forward, it became a routine for the two of you to study at Limbo, every Saturday, without fault. You didn’t explicitly plan on it, but it seemed that both of you found it comforting to work there. And you could also tell that, unlike you, it wasn’t Minho’s first time coming to Limbo. He was friends with the owner, a sweet middle-aged man who offered you pastries whenever you stayed there until closing. The cats seemed to know him too, they mewled at his feet whenever he entered and he always greeted them with a soft smile on his face. 

You didn’t talk much in those unofficial study sessions, the both of you were consumed by your own work. But you’d steal quick glances at him every now and then, the sight of him so concentrated only fueled you to work harder.

Admittedly, your competition left you feeling anxious for days on end at first. Each time Minho came out on top, you’d found yourself losing your grip. Your studies have been the one anchor keeping you afloat your entire life, and now, Minho was ripping it carelessly away from you. So, you resented him- you were human after all.

But then, you realized that Minho’s taunting wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t competing with you to hurt you, he was doing it for amusement only.

You've slowly started to learn that despite his relentless teasing, Minho had a gentle aura surrounding him. Glimpses of which occasionally emerged like rays of sunshine piercing through a thick cloud cover.

True, he chuckled when you accidentally bumped your head on the table while retrieving a fallen pen. Yet, you also noticed how he began to cover the table's corners with his hand whenever you bent down. He swiftly retracted his hand, seemingly believing you didn't notice, but you did.

During class presentations, he deliberately prepared challenging questions for you, urging you to study twice as hard to ensure no stone was left unturned. Yet, whenever the professor praised your performance, Minho offered a subtle thumbs-up as a gesture of support. He winked at you each time he got the right answer and you didn’t. However, when he noticed you struggling with a particular subject, he scooted closer and patiently explained it to you. He got up before you could thank him, swatting his arm in the air as if he didn’t do anything of significance. 

To show your appreciation, you bought him a drink that day he helped you—a simple gesture that sparked an ongoing game of "win a bet, get free food". You bet on who would receive the first mark on an assignment or who would finish an essay first- anything to further deepen the competition between you.

That's how you came to know that he loved puddings, among other things.

Curiously, as the months went by, your mind began to retain these little details about him. How his eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings when he blinked repeatedly during your conversations. How he glanced at the ceiling when lost in deep thought as if he was waiting for the answers to descend from the sky. Or how his lips take on the shape of an "o" while thinking of his response during one of your many debates. But you supposed that it was natural to take notice of such things when you spend countless Saturday afternoons with the same person.

You were still studying for someone else, in the sense that each time you stayed up working, it was solely to prove your worth to Minho. But at least unlike your mother, Minho's words never haunted you at night.

✹✹✹

Just like that, four months have gone by since you joined your university as a law major. It was nearing finals week and you were preparing it at Limbo. Minho was naturally present too, at his usual table right next to yours.

On the last weekend before the beginning of your finals, you were head-deep into your Criminal Law documents when Minho abruptly got up from his seat and settled in the chair in front of you.

"Yn," he whispers and you glance at him, "What?" 

"I have an idea."

"Keep it to yourself," you grin sarcastically, only for him to pick up your spoon and move it around in a threatening manner.

"Are you trying to scare me with a spoon?" you chuckle in disbelief.

 "Anything can be a weapon if you use enough force."

"Okay… that was creepy. What do you want?"

"The end of the first term is coming up. So, to celebrate our little rivalry-"

"It's not a rivalry if I’m always winning," you cut him off.

"Yeah, that’s why I have a fridge full of pudding."

"But-"

"Anyways, how about the top of the class takes the other out for dinner? A fancy one." He suggests, his gaze fixed on you.

"No, thank you. I already see you enough in classes."

"Didn’t think you wouldn’t up for a bet. Guess I was wrong," he remarks, a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. He knows you couldn’t possibly say no now.  

"Fine," you roll your eyes at his proud expression. "Prepare your wallet." 

"Mm, sure," he responds, before rising from his seat once more.

That day, you both lost track of time as you studied in Limbo until it closed down. When you finally stepped outside, stretching your tired limbs, you were met with the sight of falling snowflakes.

"Nooo, go away. I don't want to watch the first snow with you," Minho whines, referring to the superstition that watching the first snowfall with someone could spark love between the two of you. 

"As if I could ever love you," you laugh at the ridiculous idea, "that’d just be signing a death warrant."

You resume walking towards your apartment when suddenly something freezing and hard hits your back with enough force to make you stagger. Turning around slowly, you find Minho erupting in laughter, his body filled with uncontainable joy. He’s jumping and clapping excitedly, and for a fleeting moment, you can’t decide if your shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him. 

Snapping out of your daze, you swiftly retaliate by scooping up a handful of snow and hurling it at him. "Now you are cold too!" you shout, while he’s still laughing uncontrollably. 

Thus begins an impromptu snowball fight between the two of you. Unsurprisingly, you’re being competitive in this too, trying your best to strike each other before the other could recover. But Minho draws nearer to you, and in your desperation to win, you fall to the ground when he throws a snowball at your chest, gasping as if you’re in pain.

"Shit, did I hurt you?" Minho quickly kneels in front of you, concern evident in his voice. It surprises you for a moment- how worried he seems at the prospect of causing you pain.

But you shake that thought off and push him down to the ground, a proud smile on your face. In his fall, Minho instinctively reaches for you to steady himself, which ends up with you landing on top of him. Your faces are mere inches apart, and a soft gasp escapes your mouth at your sudden proximity.

Minho has a mole on his nose. You’ve never noticed that before. 

You quickly push yourself off of him, not enjoying being this close to somebody. "Why did you drag me down with you?" you grumble, shaking off the snow from your hair.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," he cheekily stuck out his tongue, and you respond with the same childlike gesture before the both of you burst into loud laughter. The sound reverberates through your entire being, and it echoes in your mind long after the two of you go your separate ways.  

As you lay in bed that night, ready to drift off to sleep, a quiet realization dawns on you. This was the first time you've touched snow in since your childhood incident.

That unpleasant memory didn't cross your mind once. Instead, all you thought about was Minho’s infectious laughter, and the surprising warmth it stirred within you.

✹✹✹

You came first in your grade this semester.

True to his words, Minho texted you the name of the restaurant where you’d both meet to celebrate your win. As you got ready for your outing, you couldn’t help the nerves creeping up on you. Studying in silence next to Minho was something, going to a friendly dinner with him was another. You feared it would be too awkward and Minho would regret ever proposing such a thing.

So, as you sit in the refined BBQ restaurant waiting for him, you fidget with your hands, counting down to three in your head in an attempt to steady your breathing.

You were clearly not accustomed to existing with Minho outside of the confines of your studies.

"Did you wait long?" Minho asks as he finally pulls the chair in front of you and you shake your head no.

"Are you nervous?" he chuckles at your lack of words, and you frown, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I be nervous? This isn't a date."

"Who said anything about a date?" he smirks and you grab your fork threateningly, pointing it at him, "Don't say anything stupid or I will walk out."

"And stand me up on our first date? That's too mean.” He pouts, a hand on his heart and you can’t help but giggle at his antics. You were ridiculous for being nervous. This was Minho, the one person you’ve talked to the most since the start of this year. 

"What will you have?" he asks and you smile mischievously.

 "Most expensive thing on the menu."

"So you are only here for the food." 

"Well, it's certainly not for your company," you wink and he chuckles, his bunny teeth on full display. 

"And here I thought we were going to be civil with each other."

"When are we ever not?" you gasp dramatically and Minho swats your hand with the menu. "Just order whatever," you finally answer," I trust your food judgment."

"I could poison you, you know?" He smiles proudly and you roll your eyes at him, "Can’t you be normal, for once?"

Minho calls over the waiter and places your orders. The food is quick to arrive and Minho starts to grill up the meat, while you cut the Kimchi into smaller pieces. 

"Here," he puts the perfectly cooked rib onto your plate first and you smile at him, "Thank you."

"Eat up, don’t wait for me," he tells you and you nod, tasting the flavorful meat.

"Wow this is really good," you compliment and he smirks proudly at your words, "I know."

Minho places four other ribs for you, without eating one himself. You start to feel bad, so you grab his chopsticks, pick up the meat, and move it toward his mouth, "Open up."

"What?" He asks confused and you wave the food in front of his face, "Come on, you haven’t eaten anything."

Minho parts his lips slowly, and you feed the tender meat to him, before eating one yourself. You notice how his cheeks are slightly tinted pink now, and you account it to the intense heat of the grill.

"Oh, let's not talk about studies, my brain can't take another debate with you," you tell Minho in between bites and he grins at you, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "If you were to dispose of a body, how would you do it?"

"I think our next celebration will be in an asylum." you smile too sweetly at him and he stares at you pointedly, "Please, I know you've already thought about it."

"Fine. Probably in a deserted land. What about you?"

"I'd cut their bodies and then bury each part in a different forest. In a different city."

His answer came too quickly, and you pause in your tracks, "Should I be worried?"

"You are too cute to kill." His tone is sarcastic and you make a show of gushing at his compliment, clasping both of your hands in front of your heart, "Growing soft on me, Minho?" 

"Yeah, I’m basically sooo in love with you," he replies with a smirk and you roll your eyes at him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"What's your favorite color?" you finally ask, changing the subject.

"Purple."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You'll buy me purple flowers?" He coos at you and you shake your head as you grab the utensil from his hand, to grill the meat your turn. 

"No. I'll paint your tombstone purple," you grin and he laughs loudly, eyes squinted close, and you can't find it in you to care that the people next to you are staring. 

"What's yours?" he asks when he calms down and you shrug, "Navy blue, I think."

"You do remind me of navy blue."

"And why is that?"

"When you look at it, at first glance, it looks like black. But the more you stare at it, the more layers you uncover. Just like you. There’s more to you than what meets the eye."

You grab your glass of water, gulping it down to hide the way your eyes just glossed over. You suddenly felt bare in front of Minho. How did he know?

You clear your throat, racking your brain for a way to move on from that question. "If you were to describe colors to a blind person, how would you do it?"

"Mm," he looks up at the ceiling as he mulls over your question, "I’d say that yellow is the feeling of eating ice cream on a sunny day, in an amusement park. Your fingers are sticky but your cheeks ache from how much you smiled that day."

"Yellow is carefree and happy."

"Exact. Now your turn, red."

"I’d say that... Red is the thrill that rushes through your veins when you do something you are passionate about, you know? It’s what makes our blood boil and our heart race. The very essence of our humanity."

Minho smiles softly at your words, seemingly agreeing with your description. "Don’t you think it would be easier if we simply asked, what color are you feeling today, instead of a 'How are you'?" He questions and you tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you could say, I feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to. Or, I feel bright yellow as if the world's energy is stored inside me."

"And right now, how do you feel?"

"I feel orange, not the ugly orange." He precises and you chuckle, "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean."

"A bittersweet orange, an ending that instantly strings along a new beginning. And you don't have time to rest."

Minho places his chin on his palm, eyeing you curiously, "Is that what you want? To rest?"

"Yeah." You admit quietly, "Don't you sometimes wish that the world would just stop, for a few seconds? Just like in a song, right before the beat drops. That silence, I wish I could live inside of it."

"I do too."

You both hold each other’s gaze for a while after that. You felt as if he was keeping you captive with his brown eyes, and he was slowly peeling each of your layers, in silence, as you were peeling his. For the first time, you think that you and he are similar, more than on a studies level. There was a part of his soul that understood yours perfectly. And it felt good, to be understood, for once.

"If you lived in this silence, what would you be doing?" he asks, breaking the serene quiet that surrounded you.

"I’d open a café that had books. And there'd be a little space, where people could paint. Or do pottery. And I’d have cats in there too." You reply excitedly, hands moving around in the air, you end up missing the way Minho gazes fondly at you before his smile morphs into a smirk.

"Please tell me you won't be cooking."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"I’d be a dancer."

"You dance?!" you whisper-shout and he frowns at the surprised look on your face. 

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like this?"

"I just never expected it. Can I-"

"No." he cuts you off immediately and you pout. 

"I didn't even finish."

"I knew what you were going to say."

"Please, I won't make a sound I’d just watch. Pinky promise.” He grabs your now outstretched pinky with the tip of his index and thumb, lowering it down. 

"I’d only grant you this wish when you’re on your deathbed."

"Bold of you to assume you'd still be around."

"Death might be around the corner."

"Stop it."

"Close your door tonight."

"You are deranged."

Minho chuckles at the crestfallen look on your face, "I’ll think about it."

Just like that, three hours of talking have gone by, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. And when you finally leave the restaurant, Minho grabs you a cab and you wave him off with a smile. You couldn't lie to yourself, you had a really good time with him. You liked to think that Minho was no longer just a rival, but a possible friend.

But now that you were laying in your bed, you couldn’t help but curse Minho in your brain. His repetitive talk about murder made you paranoid, and now every creak in your apartment made you feel as if death was really right around the corner. 

You decide to text him, figuring that if you couldn’t sleep because of him, you could at least disturb him for a bit. 

Yn : I hate you I'm paranoid from your murder talk

Minho : Poor baby

Yn : Is that you at my door?

Suddenly your phone rings, the shrill sound echoing around your apartment. It was a Facetime call from Minho. You panic for a few seconds, before remembering that you just spent your entire night with him. A call can’t be more daunting than a real-life meeting. 

"See, I’m in my home," he tells you as soon as you pick up and you laugh.

"It's pitch black, I can't see."

"Just say you miss my face." You can’t see him but you can clearly hear the proud grin in his voice. 

"What's there to miss?"

"Are you actually scared?" Minho asks gently and you clear your throat, feeling ridiculous all of the sudden. 

"There is a tree right outside my window and it keeps rustling from the wind," you grumble and Minho laughs at you. 

"Trees can't hurt you."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Close your eyes.” He instructs and you frown at his words. 

"Why?"

"I’ll tell you a story."

"Fine.” You close your eyes tentatively. It’s quiet for a few seconds and you feel yourself relax slightly. 

"So, I bought a sous-vide machine and-"

"Is your bedtime story going to be about meat?"

"Yes?” He replies as if it’s an evidence, “Now be quiet." You pretend to zip your mouth and Minho faintly giggles, before resuming his story. "So, I was saying. I bought one and I wanted to experience different kinds of meats. So, I bought a 30-day aged one and a 58-day aged one and I cooked them both."

"What did you use?" you ask quietly. 

"Just garlic, and thyme, I didn't want to overpower the taste of meat. Anyways I cooked them, but I didn't have plastic bags so I had to go out and buy them."

"Mm," you hum in acknowledgment. You could feel your nerves slowly dissipate with Minho's every word. His story might be ridiculous but his honey-coated voice compensated for it, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon. 

"And I found pudding there so I had to buy it."

"Obviously," you whisper. Sleep was knocking on your door, but paradoxically you tried to fight it off. You wanted to hear the rest of Minho’s story. 

"And I went back home and I cooked it, then I plated it nicely with vegetables that I sauteed with butter and garlic. Just mushrooms and potatoes, nothing too fancy. Again, my main focus was the meat. But there wasn't a difference between the two. They tasted the same for me, for some reason. And I didn't like this because the aged one was very expensive. Maybe I was scammed. Honestly, that butcher looked kind of suspicio..."

Your quiet snores make Minho pause in his tracks, and he laughs quietly. You did end up falling asleep. He can't see your face clearly, but he can see its outline and he stares at you for a while. You look peaceful.

He goes to hang up but his finger hovers over the 'end call' button. You aren't talking, but your hums are quiet enough that they fill up the space around him. It calms him down, and he lets his head fall on the pillow, his phone lying beside him.

He closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on. 

You just made his world stop.

✹✹✹

The second semester had just started and with it the return of frat parties. You were excited at the prospect of going to one with your new friend Mina. You met her in the library when you both went to grab the same book. You quickly apologized but she waved you off, handing you the book with a huge smile on her face. She was bubbly, like a human serotonin boost, and she started gushing about how much she loved the author. You saw her again in the campus cafeteria, and she skipped towards you as if you've both known each other your entire life. That was the start of your friendship.

You walk into the frat house, both your arms encircling each other. The flashing lights of the party blind you for a moment, and it takes you a while to adjust to the loud music bouncing off of the walls. But you like it, it was like a shield from the outside world and its problems. 

You feel yourself letting loose in the crowd, swaying your hips to the music. Mina spins you around and you laugh, dancing with no care in the world. It was just the both of you in that instant. 

Mina spots Jeongin in the crowd, a friend of hers that she had an immense crush on. You couldn’t blame her- he was very attractive; his easy smirk and his blonde tousled hair earned him lots of appreciative looks from the people around him. But when his eyes locked with Mina’s, you found that his face morphed into a beautiful smile, that made his dimples look on full display, as if it was only reserved for her.

“Go get your man!” You shout in her ears, so she’d be able to hear you. 

“What are you talking about?” She yells back, but you could see the nervous smile on her face.

“He likes you! Go talk to him!”

“I don’t want to leave you alone. We came together!” She clasps your hand in hers and you smile touched by her kind spirit.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the kitchen to get some drinks. Go have fun!”

“You are sure?” She asks, her eyes darting between you and Jeongin, who was still looking at her, and her only. 

“Yes! Go!” You say, gently pushing her away. Mina jogs up to Jeongin who greets her with a side hug. He quickly glances at you and you shoot him a thumbs-up, to which he grins. You loved playing Cupid.

With that, you decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. You pick a beer from the fridge, double-checking if the can is closed before opening it. 

You lean on the countertop, sipping on your drink while you watch the crowd, humming along each time a song you knew played. You enjoyed watching people dance freely from afar, with no apparent care in the world.

You feel someone stand next to you and you brace yourself, getting ready to tell the person off if they decide to bother you. You didn’t have the energy for mindless flirting. But then, you smell the cologne that has lingered around you for the past term- Minho. You haven't seen him since your dinner. That was a month ago.

"Fancy seeing you here," he greets as he leans on the counter right next to you, his eyes fixated on the mingling bodies.

You turn around to face him, faking an outraged gasp, "Are you following me?"

"Mmm. You look nice", he compliments and you smile cheekily, "I know."

"Won't tell me I look nice too?" he smirks, leaning closer to your face. "Someone didn’t get enough compliments tonight?" You pout, placing a hand on your heart in mock concern.

"I did, but I want to hear it from you. You’re the only sensible person in this room."

"You look nice. Now leave me alone."

"Come on, I know you can do better than that", he jokes and you roll your eyes, muttering “You’re annoying”, under your breath.

Still, you comply, placing your arms on top of the counter and leaning your head on them to get a better look at him. He does the same, smiling, and you both stare at each other for a while after that.

The strobing lights dance on Minho’s face, casting enticing shadows on him. You've always known he was a beautiful man; you've looked into his eyes far too many times in your heated conversations. But this time was different, there was no cheeky smirk on his face nor a furrow in his eyebrows. He was simply looking at you, and it made a pool of warmth huddle in your belly. You feel yourself relax under his gaze, everything around you seemingly melts away.

You weren’t wrong when you thought that his eyes were like a black hole, pulling you in. But this time, you realize that you didn’t mind knowing what was on the other side. On the contrary, you longed for it. 

"I like your eyes right now. They remind me of the night sky. Black, with tiny little stars littered in them," you finally say.

Minho is taken aback by your words, he wasn't expecting you to compliment him, let alone to tell him something so special. He can feel his cheeks burn red at your words, feel his heart hammering in his chest. He's afraid you can hear it too.

He doesn't know what to say, so instead he clears his throat, plastering a smirk on his face, "I heard better." He hasn't. This is the first genuine compliment he's ever gotten.

"Oh, fuck off," you laugh and he joins you. The music was loud and yet the only sound his ear seemed to pick up was your laugh.

"Are you here alone?" He asks, and you shake your head no, "Came with my friend Mina."

"Did she leave you by yourself?" He frowns and you feel yourself warm up at his worried tone. "I told her to go talk to Jeongin."

"Next time, don’t stay alone."

“Fine, Dad.” You chastise and he stares pointedly at you, "I’m serious, yn."

You take another swing of the beer before turning your body fully towards Minho. After a few beats of silence, you finally ask a question that has been on your mind for a while. "Why do you say my name this way?"

"What way?" He questions and you shrug, "Slowly. People used to always rush it but you don’t."

"Well, it’s a pretty name. It deserves to be pronounced as a whole."

You beam at his words; you smile so brightly it makes his heart skip a beat. This is the first time you’ve grinned this widely at him, no hand in front of your mouth as if to hide it. He did notice how you were a reserved person outside of class, as if you were afraid of taking up too much place. But he could tell you were slowly unraveling, growing bolder with each passing month. He wanted to tell you that if people like you spoke more, the world would be a far better place. 

But he couldn't bring himself to say all of this, so he forced those bubbling words down his throat. "I’m hungry," he whines instead and you laugh at his pout. "I'm kind of craving a greasy pizza."

"Should we go buy it? You can tell Mina to come so we can walk her back."

"I’ll ask her."

You shoot Mina a text, asking her where she was and telling her about your plan. She replies that she’s with Jeongin who just offered to take her home, so you could leave without her.

"We can go." You tell him and he nods. Minho shrugs his leather jacket off, gently placing it on your shoulders. His warmth engulfs you and you sink further into it. His arm hovers around your shoulder not touching you as he leads you out of the party. He has never touched your body, you note, it's like he was everywhere and nowhere at once.

You both walk to an open parlor near the frat house, and you order a Margarita pizza to share. You sit down on a nearby bench to eat it- the night breeze too liberating to pass up on.

As you both finish eating, a cat with white and orange stripes all over her body approaches the both of you cautiously, and you pat her head softly. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" you coo and Minho chuckles as he scratches the cat’s chin. She purrs at his touch appreciatively, and you smile at the soft look on his face. 

"Never knew you to be this gentle", you giggle and Minho shushes you, "Let's not do this in front of the cat."

"Why are you acting as if we are a divorced couple and she’s our child."

"Easy, yn. You make it sound as if you want me to marry you."

"Now you're just projecting," you chastise and he laughs, eliciting giggles from you. He had a melodic laugh, you noticed, and you always felt a surge of pride whenever you made him close his eyes and tip his head from laughter. You felt as if it's a sight only you can see.

"I have three cats", he says softly and you gasp, "Really? We spent all of our Sundays in a cat café and this is when you tell me?"

"I only tell my friends."

"So we're friends now?" You gush and he rolls his eyes at you, "I take it back."

"What’s their names?" You ask curiously and his eyes soften at your question- you could easily tell he loved them dearly.

"Soongie, Doongie, and Dori. They are rescues."

"That’s very sweet of you Minho."

"Most of my scars come from them though," he chuckles but you sober up at his words, quietly scratching the cat's ears.

"What’s on your mind?" He asks and you glance at him. It was scary how well he’s starting to know you. But it was also nice; to be known is to exist, after all.

"I just... Sometimes I wish that memories would leave physical scars on you. Because at least then, you could treat them, put a band-aid on, and watch them fade away day by day. Because when the scars are emotional, you can’t treat them, you know? And someday someone brings up a name or a place, or you smell a certain scent, and suddenly they reopen as if no time has gone by at all.”

Minho stays silent for a while, mulling over your words. You don't mind, you weren't expecting him to comfort you. You just needed to free those words from the mental prison you've held them in for so long.

"Do you know Kintsugi?" he finally asks and you shake your head no.

"It's a Japanese art. They put back together broken vases with molten gold. It represents strength despite our flaws."

"That sounds nice," you sigh wistfully and he nods. 

"It is. When you look at that vase, you know that it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty, on the contrary, it adds to it. Scars, whether they are emotional or physical are there for a reason. They remind us of how we pushed through whatever life threw at us."

"Am I supposed to be grateful I survived this?" You chuckle lowly, as your hand scratches the cat’s ear. Your fingers brush against Minho’s and you hesitate for a few seconds before moving them away.

"I wouldn't say grateful for what you went through," he speaks once again, "but grateful to yourself. At the end of the day, the reason why you're still here is you. You put yourself back together," he then bumps his elbow into your side softly, "and hey, even if your scars reopen there will come a time when they wouldn’t anymore. Sometimes, it takes a while to be okay again."

This was Minho’s way of telling you that someday it wouldn’t hurt anymore. That someday you’d be okay. And you needed to hear that. You needed to hear someone else other than yourself tell you that.

"Thank you, Minho, I needed that", you smile at him and he grins back at you before his smile turns to a smirk. "I charge 15 dollars for the hour by the way."

"Oh, come on! You didn't even say something revolutionary." You are lying. Minho's words will echo in your mind long after this night- a beacon of light to hold onto.

"Oh, so now it’s no longer ‘I needed that’. Tsk," he jokes a smirk still plastered on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Therapist. I’ll pay for your coffee tomorrow, sounds good?"

"I should have you as my client more often," he winks and you laugh, head tipped back. You were grateful more than ever for his teasing, loving how it wasn’t awkward between you after your discussion.

"You are a good listener." You tell him as you stand up, dusting your pants.

"I’m good at everything," he grins cheekily at you and you roll your eyes playfully, "And here I thought we were having a moment."

You both start walking side by side toward your home when Minho speaks again. His tone is quiet as if he wasn’t sure he wanted you to hear him. "About earlier, your compliment, I mean. I suppose I didn't thank you. So, thank you," he scratches the tip of his ears and you shrug nonchalantly. "It's the truth. You might get on my ass but that doesn't change the fact you are a pretty man."

He doesn’t respond and you tug at the sleeve of his shirt playfully, "You won't tell me I’m pretty too?"

"But then I’d be lying."

"Asshole."

"Pretty," he replies without missing a beat.

You laugh loudly, hand tightly clutching your stomach and he joins you. There is a newfound lightness in your steps now. Unbeknownst to him, Minho just managed to lift a small weight off your shoulders, allowing you a brief moment of respite.

"This is me," you say when you arrive in front of your apartment block, "Thank you for walking me home."

"Of course. Don't dream of me."

"Idiot," you laugh waving him off and he does the same. "Oh, and text me when you get home safely!" you shout before heading inside.

For the second time this night, Minho is blushing profusely at your words. He sighs to himself, waiting patiently until a light turns on in your place to leave.

✹✹✹

It’s been two months since the start of the new term. You still went to Limbo, every Saturday with Minho- even when you didn’t need to study. 

Sometimes you’d just grab a book and you’d both read, a cat lazily lounging at your feet. You started sitting at the same table too; you figured it was easier since one of you always pays for the other. When you have a bet, but also randomly, when you notice that the other person is feeling down and you want to cheer them up without saying anything.

That's why you bought three bubble teas for Minho in a row. He was quieter these days, you noticed. He didn’t talk to you nor did he retort back in class. It was the first time you’ve seen him this way. As if he was a simple shell of the person he usually is. 

You were walking out of your Communications Strategies class, which Minho weirdly didn’t come to when you realized that it was pouring rain. You smile lightly to yourself, grateful since you thought about picking up an umbrella this morning. 

As you walk through campus, everyone around you running to take shelter, you spot someone sitting on a bench, completely drenched from the rain. Their head is hung low and you frown to yourself. They would surely get a cold if they stay there.

But then the person raises their head and you quickly realize it's Minho. You jog up to him instinctively, standing in front of him and shielding him from the rain with your umbrella.

He looks up at you and you feel your heart clench. His eyes are void of emotion and he stares blankly at you. "Are you okay?" you ask and he blinks at your words, as if his brain hadn't yet registered that you were there.

"Yeah."

"You don't look like it", you tilt your head to the side and he looks down again. You have to strain to hear his next words, muffled by the rain and his mumbling, "I don't want to talk, yn."

You decide to put away your umbrella and sit down next to him on the bench. The rain falls rapidly on both of you, and you feel yourself grow cold from it. 

"What are you doing?" He questions, turning to the side to look at you.

"Enjoying the rain. It is kind of stupid that we have umbrellas, right?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"I mean we always complain about the drought and then when it rains, we hide from it. But it's really beautiful."          

"Stop, I don't want you to get sick."

"Well, neither do I. Let's go eat some soup. My treat."

"Yn, I don’t-"

"I thought you were smart enough to know I won't take no for an answer."

"But I-" you cut him off again. "Also, I’m doing this for me because when you order for two, they give you a lot of side dishes. Now come on."

You stand up and he looks doubtfully at you, before following suit. You open up the umbrella again and hold it over both of your heads. He has to huddle close to you, and your shoulders brush against each other. Once, twice. Not that you're keeping count. But your body is always hyper-aware of Minho’s proximity. You also notice how he silently moves from your right to your left, this way he's the one walking right next to the speeding cars. Your hold on the umbrella tightens. You were still not used to those small attentions of his. 

You arrive in front of your apartment block and he hesitates. "Come up, I won't murder you I promise." You joke and he smiles lightly back at your words. Progress.

He enters your dorm and you can see him eying his surroundings. You know that if it was another time, he would have teased you about something- anything. But he stays quiet, and you find yourself missing the sound of his voice.

"Would you like to shower?" You offer and he nods, "Please."

You lead him to your bathroom and show him where the washing machine is. "Put your clothes in there for a quick wash and dry. You can shower meanwhile."

He nods again as you hand him a towel. "I'll be outside."

You quickly leave the bathroom to place the soup orders, and Minho discards his wet clothes, walking into your shower. The water is piping hot, and he leans his forehead on the cold tiles. He doesn’t move for the first ten minutes, too tired at the prospect of lifting his limbs.

Nothing particular happened. But he’d go through days when he’d quiet down because everything around him was too much. The feel of his clothes against his skin, and the sun streaming through his curtains. But it always passes. Minho was a realistic man and he knew that his emotions would regulate themselves. That’s why he didn’t like appearing vulnerable in front of other people.

But for some reason, he didn’t mind lowering his guard with you. He knew you wouldn’t judge.

He sighs, grabbing your cherry-scented shampoo and pouring it into his hands. He can clearly smell you now. The scent of your hair that always tickles his nose, whenever you are sitting close to him. Your body wash is next and he wonders if this is how your skin smells, like vanilla and jasmine, and something entirely you. 

Forty minutes later, Minho finally steps out of the shower. His clothes are clean and he quickly puts them on. He dries his hair with the towel as he walks out of your bathroom towards the living room. 

He finds you sitting on the ground, in front of a heater that looks close to giving up. He makes a mental note of giving you the one he has since he doesn't really use it. You changed out of your clothes too, and you are now wearing a pair of pajamas with little bunnies sewn into it. The sight almost manages to make him smile. 

"Still cold?" you question when you notice him standing behind you, unmoving, and he shakes his head no.

"Good, the soup is here." You say cheerfully, pointing at the steaming bowls sitting on your table. Minho hums in reply and you stand up, grabbing the towel from his hands to place it on the drying rack.

You come back, a soft green blanket in your hands. You sit on the couch and pat the spot beside you. Minho sits next to you, and you lay the blanket on both of your laps, before handing him his soup.

You start the show you’ve been last watching, as you both eat in silence, your legs crisscrossed. You make some comments throughout the episodes. You figured that it was a safe territory, to talk about something as mundane as this. He didn't reply but you didn't mind. You weren't here to have a conversation with him. You just wanted to distract him.

You realize at that moment that Minho always looked so put together to you. But he had problems of his own too. That much was obvious. It made you feel closer to him, in a sense. You were both just trying to make it through the day.

Two hours later, you get up to grab a book, handing Minho the remote to put on a show of his own. You curl in a ball in the corner, reading where you left off last night.

"Can you... Can you read out loud?" Minho speaks for the first time in a while and you look at him. His eyes are closed, his head resting against your couch.

"Sure."

You start to read, and Minho further sinks into the couch. He feels at home here. Because the blanket is soft and the light is dim enough to not hurt his eyes. Or it could be that he smells like you, a scent so comforting he wants to bury himself in it. Or maybe it's your voice that floats through the air, slowly clouding Minho’s every sense. He feels as if he could see the words you were pronouncing dancing in front of his eyes. You enunciated each syllable clearly, making sure that no sound was forgotten.

As Minho gently drifted to sleep, he felt as if he was part of the words you read out loud. He felt as if you were treating him with the same care, making sure that he knew he wasn't invisible. At least not to you.

When you wake up the next morning, Minho is gone. And his place beside you on the couch is empty. He made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, and freshly pressed orange juice. And right next to it you find a note, "Thank you for reading to me."

✹✹✹

Minho didn't believe in having a lot of friends. He was content with the two people he had, Chan and Changbin. The latter was his high school friend, he skipped a year and ended up being in the same class as Minho. They didn't talk at first until the day Changbin dropped a book on Minho's foot. The brooding man started apologizing profusely, and that was the start of their friendship. They've kept in touch since.

Chan was his roommate at university. It's not that he particularly wanted to befriend him, but Chan was a social butterfly and he quickly managed to pull Minho into his friendly trap. He annoys Minho the most, but in an endearing way. And although Chan is older, Minho still strangely developed a soft spot for him. 

And he supposes he has you too now. At first, you weren’t friends, rivals at most. He enjoyed reeling you up and having you frown at his words in your heated debates. He also liked talking to you, because your ideas were interesting and you always gave him a new fresh perceptive to see things.

That’s how he strictly saw you as, an intelligent human who he liked to debate with.

But then he started to look forward to meeting up with you at Limbo. He no longer minded the fact that you took his self-assigned table, from his high school days. And he laughed more freely with you, enjoying how you always had a witty retort sitting at the tip of your tongue. 

That’s how he started to notice things that friends most definitely notice. How you have a charm bracelet you always fidget with whenever you are nervous. How you stray away from physical touch. How you scratch your eyebrow when you are deep in thought.

But also, how you seem to have an obsession with cherries. Your cherry pendant, your cherry-scented shampoo, and your cherry-tainted lips. A friend would most certainly think that your lips are like red wine-stained glass.

He remembers one of the many times when you were at Limbo, and he saw you reapply your lip tint, or so you called it. You caught him looking and he swiftly averted his gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. Suddenly you were in front of him, a tiny red bottle in hand.

"Let me apply it to you," you smiled and he pushed your head away with his pointer finger. "No."

"Please," you pouted and he couldn't help but find you adorable. You sometimes reminded him of a small kitten. But he didn’t dare to call you by that nickname. 

"Never."

"If I score more than you in our environmental assignment then I will do it."

"Fine." he huffed so that you'd leave him alone.

Minho didn't study for that assignment. He blamed it on a headache, not that it's ever stopped him before. And two weeks later you were in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You applied the lip tint gently on his plump lips, carefully tracing over his cupid bow. 

Your face was mere inches away from his and he noticed how you were wearing a gloss today, for change. It was shimmering under the lights and he usually didn't like glittery things, but he couldn't take his eyes off your lips. 

"All done!" you clapped excitedly, snapping him out of his haze. You then shove your phone camera into his face so he'd look at the results.

"You should be a model. Your face is perfectly sculpted," you comment nonchalantly, before sitting back in your seat. 

“I know.” He replies confidently, but his hand kept fiddling with the tip of his now pink ears. He couldn't concentrate for the rest of the night.

You were his friend because he always worried if you were eating enough. That’s why he urged you to grab a bite in the convenience store near Limbo, whenever you finished up your studying late.

This was one of the many times you sat on the minuscule table outside, hot ramen bowls in front of the both of you. Minho huffed in annoyance between each bite, his bangs were getting longer, disturbing him when he leaned down to slurp his noodles. 

“Here,” you stand up from your place, a hair tie in your hands. 

“What are you doing?” He questions as you stand behind him. You don’t reply, silently grabbing his hair and putting it up in a tiny ponytail, this way it wouldn’t get in his eyes anymore.

“Voila,” you sit back down, resuming your eating. Minho was grateful for the dimly lit street because his entire face was burning up. Your fingers in his hair were gentle and he wondered how it would feel if you ran your fingers through it. 

This was something friends think about, right? 

"I’ll cut my hair tomorrow," he clears his throat. He didn't know why he told you. You certainly weren't interested in his hair endeavors.

"What?!" you yell, "Don't. Your hair is beautiful why would you cut it?"

"Because it's getting longer."

"But it suits you."

Minho also noticed how you always threw compliments his way. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a genuine one. He couldn't help but wonder what made you this way. Did you so freely give love to others because you knew how it felt to not receive it?

"I’ll still cut it."

Minho returned home; his hair still clipped back in a ponytail. Chan eyed him weirdly but he shut him off with a glare. The elastic remained at his bedside since.

He didn't cut his hair.

The moment Minho started to consider you a close friend, was when you invited him over to watch your show. You didn’t force him to open up that night, and he appreciated it, more than he let on.

That's how a week later, he finds himself walking towards your dorm again. The thoughts in his head got too much, and Chan was immersed in his makeshift studio, which meant he won't be free for the next four hours, minimum.

He didn't plan on going to you. It was late at night and you were probably asleep, but his feet naturally led him to the direction of your place.

He knocks softly on your door. He wasn't even sure if he wanted you to open. What would you think of him showing up at eleven pm? He should have thought this thro-

"Minho?" you call out, and he startles a bit, his feet already inching away from the door.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry," he starts to retract back but you grab the hem of his jacket to stop him. "Do you... Do you want to watch my show with me?" you ask, a soft smile on your face and he nods tentatively.

"Okay, come in," you open the door wider and Minho follows you inside. The look in his eyes reminds you of the day you found him sitting under the rain. You didn't like it, you wanted him to find his spark back, his usual demeanor. He wasn't deserving of anything but happiness.

"I’ve started a new show, this one's a bit more romantic, so don't go around imagining me as the main character," you tease and he scoffs at your words, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't reply, but you don't mind. There was this secret agreement between the two of you, you would talk and he would listen. He needed the distraction, and you needed the company. Sometimes the line between alone and lonely blurs, and on days like these, Minho’s presence fills the void inside.

You comment on the scenes and Minho hums in reply, you watch three episodes in a row, and your eyes are getting drowsy, so you close them.

"Minho," you call out gently and he turns his head towards you.

"Yeah?"

"What color are you feeling tonight?" You ask, referencing to what he told you on your dinner celebration. That felt like an eternity ago.

"Black." You stay silent and Minho fidgets with his hands before speaking once again. "I feel a lot at the same time, too much of every color. That's why- that's why I said black."

"How can I help you feel yellow?"

"You already do." His admission came softly and it made your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him, but you figured it will only make him close off even more.

“Okay. Will you stay for breakfast?”, you whisper. You were very sleepy, the soft chatter of the TV and your hushed conversation were like a lullaby to you. 

"You want me to?" he asks, and he sounds so vulnerable you can't find it in you to say anything but the truth.

"I do," you admit, and that's the last thing you remember before sleeping.

Your head falls near Minho’s lap on the couch, your hair tickling his exposed thigh. Minho shouldn’t feel this way, he thinks. He’s sitting on the leather couch and his feet are touching the cold floor and yet all he can feel is three strands of your hair tickling him.

He glances at you, at your now parted lips and your relaxed eyebrows. His hand hovers over your hair, but then he curls it into a tight fist. What is he doing? He thinks to himself as he drags an angry hand through his face. He sighs, before standing up and grabbing the blanket you had on the opposing chair. He gently lays it on your body before sitting next to you once again. 

You told him to stay for breakfast. He’ll stay.

✹✹✹

2 months later

"Yn!" Minho shouts in your ear as he plops down next to you. You startle, dropping the book you were reading. 

"I hate you," you grumble, picking up your book and he smiles cheekily at you, "No you don't."

You were laying on the grass of your campus garden, in between two classes, trying to kill the time. It was April so the weather was perfect for lying under the warm sunrays. You loved spring, it always held within it the promise of a better time. 

"What are you doing?"

"I was reading before you got here and started to annoy me." 

"Don't mind me. Do your thing." 

"And what are you doing?"

"Enjoying the sun."

"You couldn't find any other place to do so?"

"Nope."

"You're annoying" You try to sound mad but the smile on your face betrays you. You started looking forward to any moment Minho randomly shows up throughout your day. Sometimes it's late at night when he's suddenly craving sushi and he drags you with him because if he's not studying then you shouldn't be too. 

Sometimes it's during the day, when he takes you to a new garden where he found the quote "cutest cats in existence". Not as cute as his cats, of course. 

Sometimes it's late afternoon when he just knocks on your door, and he's there with Chan-his roommate who sometimes joins your study sessions- snacks in their hands. You've learned that what Minho doesn't say in words, he compensates by spending time with you. And you didn't tell him but waiting for these moments has been the joy of your life for the past few weeks.

It made you feel excited- like a child waiting up for Christmas morning to discover what gifts they are receiving. 

So, you resume reading, as Minho is lying next to you. You could smell his pinewood cologne and you wished you could pour his essence into a bottle and carry it with you everywhere. 

You notice how the sun is hitting Minho’s eyes directly, and how his eyebrows are scrunched up at the aggression. So, you grab your book with your left hand, and hover your right one over his eyes, shielding him from the sun. Minho's breath tickles your hand and you can feel goosebumps rising through your skin. 

It's as if every physical proximity with Minho made you feel hyperaware of every part of your body, and how he can lighten it with a simple breath from his part. It made you wonder what it would feel to have his hands on your skin.

As if Minho heard your thoughts, he gently wraps his thumb and index finger around your wrist, steadying your hand in place so it wouldn't strain your arm. You suddenly don't know what page you are in, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on you. 

His touch is very featherlight and you are afraid to move, to break the bubble you are suddenly pulled into. 

"Read to me," he tells you and you gulp. You never understood why Minho enjoyed it when you read to him. 

"Like my voice that much?" you tease, in an attempt to hide how affected you are. You were so close to him; it would be easy to slide down and lay your head on his chest. You wondered how his heartbeat would sound. Was it steady, or racing just like your own? 

"Yeah, it's calming," he replies sincerely, catching you off guard. You didn't expect him to compliment you, and now you are racking your brain for a retort, anything to make you breathe again. 

"Growing soft on me Minho?" you say, the same question you asked on your first dinner out. The first time you truly saw him, the first time you felt as if you were two pieces of the same puzzle, just waiting for someone to connect the both of you. 

He doesn't reply. And you sit there, patiently waiting. His first answer came so easily, so naturally, because he was being sarcastic, "I’m basically in love with you", he told you back then. So why can't he say it again?

"Yes, I am." He finally replies and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You try to account it for your brain misguiding you. It wasn't Minho speaking, it was the rustling of the leaves and the singing of the birds that you just heard. But it was him, and now his eyes are open and he's looking at you. Your hand is still shielding his eyes and his fingers are still wrapped around your wrist. And you are suddenly feeling. You are feeling too much. You don't know what to do with those feelings cursing through your veins and you can't face them. Because they are scaring you.

"I'll just... Yeah, I’ll just read," you say quietly, too flustered by his intense gaze. You were already on the other side, you realize. His eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey. 

"Out loud," he says and you chuckle, "Fine, Min." The nickname slips out of your tongue naturally and you quickly snap your head towards Minho to see if he noticed. 

His eyes are closed, and there is a slight smile on his face, and you can swear that he just repeated the nickname to himself softly. 

✹✹✹

You've been so sick these past days, you barely managed to go to class. Your head throbbed with pain and your entire body felt as if someone thoroughly boxed it. 

You were grateful that Minho reeled down his teasing because you had no energy to retort back. He may have noticed how sick you felt and truthfully it would be hard not to. You stayed silent throughout the day, and you looked so pale, you avoided looking at the mirror altogether.

Though Minho didn't talk to you, he still silently placed water bottles and some of your favorite snacks on your desk. You'd down the water, grateful for the relief it brought your sore throat. And when you didn't touch the food, he'd immediately text you 'Eat up', followed by a simple 'Please'. Having someone else care for your well-being felt weird, but it warmed your heart beyond what words could describe. 

You only came today to pass your Criminal Law mid-term, but your head hurt so badly that you weren't even sure what you wrote on your paper. The words blurred in front of your eyes and you almost slept in the middle of your exam, exhaustion threatening to take over your body. 

You fucked up, badly. You haven't screwed up this much in years.

You thought that you were slowly getting better since Minho surpassing you no longer sparked an unworthy feeling within you. But apparently, you were wrong to believe so. Self-doubt crept up within you once again, and the ugly feelings it stirred slowly clawed at your throat, making it hard for you to breathe.

It was one test, and yet it reeled you back ages ago. 

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you hurriedly walk out of your class. You make a beeline for the library, figuring that it will be mostly empty by now. 

You pull out a chair and sit on it, lowering your head down so no one will see you. Your tears are falling rapidly and you hit your thigh repeatedly.  You hated how weak you felt in that instant. 

"Yn?", someone calls out and you curse internally. You don't have to look up to see who it is, Minho's voice has become a part of you- you could easily recognize it between a thousand mingling sounds. 

You don't want him to see you, especially not like this, weak and vulnerable and on the verge of breaking down. So you quickly slip a pair of sunglasses on your eyes, before raising your head to look at him. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone so soft it makes you want to cry ten times fold. You hated it, hated how attentive he was to you. You didn't deserve it. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just here to pick a book," you lie, abruptly standing up and heading toward the rows behind you. You desperately needed to get away from him. 

You pause in front of a random shelf and then you feel Minho standing behind you. You grab a random book and he peeks above your shoulder to see it, "Economics? You hate this subject."

"Why are you following me?" you turn around attempting your best to sound mad. When in reality, your heart was brimming with hurt. You wished you could get away from your body and seep into someone's soul to feel what it's like to love yourself.

"You aren't okay," he asserts and you hate it. You hate that he sounds so sure of himself. Was it that noticeable? Were you not fooling anyone?

"I am," your voice is shaking but you are adamant about contradicting him. You couldn't let him see you. What if he runs?

"Then..." he steps forward and you take a step back until your back is against the shelf. His left arm cages your body, but his right one stays by his side. He is leaving you an opening, you realize, an outing in case you feel uncomfortable. Against all odds, you don't.

 "Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, gently taking your sunglasses off your face, and placing them on the top of your head.

You don't look up at him, and he hooks his finger underneath your chin, gently raising your head. When your tear-stained eyes meet his, he frowns deeply, "Why are you crying?"

"it's nothing."

"Yn..."

"I fucked up, okay?! That was the worst test I’ve ever given in years." The tears start to flow at your words and you wipe them away aggressively. You despised crying in front of people. 

Minho raises his hand to wipe the tears away for you but he quickly retracts it- you probably wouldn't want him to touch your face. It was enough that he had grabbed your wrist a couple of weeks before this. He quickly racks his brain for something to do, because the sight of your tears is making his heart ache in a way he hasn't felt before. It's as if he's feeling your emotions deep within him.

In desperation, Minho pinches your arm and you yelp, startled. "What was that for?" you whisper-shout and he raises his hands in defense, "I didn't know what else to do."

"So, you thought about pinching me?" you chuckle in bewilderment and he scratches the top of his hair sheepishly. 

"I mean, it worked. Look, you stopped crying," he points out raising his brows at you proudly and you shake your head at him.

"Remind me to never cry in front of you again." 

Minho grins at you before his face turns serious once again. "Look, you are the smartest person I know," he pauses, adding with a cheeky smirk, "After me of course." Which makes you giggle against your will. 

"Shut up", you lightly punch his chest and he smiles. "One test doesn't define you. You always work very hard. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Mm," you hum and he frowns at your lack of enthusiasm, but still, he doesn't comment. 

"No more crying," he wiggles his finger in front of your face and you roll your eyes, wiping the rest of your tears away. "Fine. Pretend as if this never happened."

"What are you talking about?" he asks as if confused, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It's as if Minho knows exactly what to say to cheer you up. 

"Come with me," he tells you, gently pulling you by the sleeve of your hoodie. 

"Where to?"

"I’m craving ice cream."

"And why do you need me?"

"You're craving ice cream too," he says in a matter-of-a-fact tone. 

"Only if you're paying," you add with a giggle and he whines loudly, "I feel so so used around you." 

True to his words, Minho takes you to the nearest ice cream parlor. It's a 20 minutes walk away and you are grateful for the distance because it helps you clear your head a bit.

Minho lets you pick whatever flavors you want, and when you hesitate between two of them, he tells the cashier to put them both into your cup. This is how you end up with a container of 5 scoops of ice cream. You insisted you'd share, and Minho begrudgingly agreed when you threatened to walk out and leave him.

You then walk to a deserted alley and sit on the sidewalk. You didn't want to be around people right now, and thankfully, Minho understood without you having to say a word.  

You munch silently on your ice cream and Minho does the same, the both of you lost in your thoughts. You naturally take turns holding the freezing container, so it wouldn't numb the fingers of one of you.

When you're done, Minho stands up to throw it away in a nearby trashcan before sitting back again next to you. 

Suddenly you feel him gently tapping your hand. You look down to find that you've curled your fingers into a tight fist, so much that there are crescent indents visible on your palm now. 

"Let's play thumb war," he tells you and you giggle at his words. You never knew what to expect from him. 

Still, as your fingers hold each other, and your thumb circles one another, you feel yourself calm down slightly. You play a couple of rounds, and you know he's going easy on you, allowing you to quickly trap his thumb down. 

No one has gone to such lengths to cheer you up, and you suddenly feel so grateful for Minho’s presence in your life. You didn't care in what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it. Which in turn makes you think how bad it'd hurt if he ever leaves. 

You don't want Minho to leave. You've gotten so attached to him that the thought of not talking to him again makes your heart race in panic. 

Minho notices the change in your expression, suddenly melancholic once again. Your hand has gone limp in his, the thumb war long forgotten by you. 

He curses under his breath, before looking at you. "If I dance for you, will you quit being so sad?"

"Dance for me?" you repeat incredulously and he nods, "Yes. I’ll show you an upcoming choreography just... Please smile?" 

"Okay," you giggle, plastering a wide grin on your face. 

"Not like that you look scary."

"Get to dancing!" you clap excitedly and he rolls his eyes, standing up and looking through his phone for a particular music. 

"Oh and no comment!" he looks pointedly at you, and you nod, pretending to zip your mouth and throwing away the key. 

'Finesse' by Bruno Mars starts playing and you are left mesmerized by the way Minho dances. It's short but it leaves you yearning to see more. His body moves smoothly, hitting each beat effortlessly. He made it look as if dancing was second nature to him, that it came as easily to him as breathing. 

You were speechless, rightfully so. You wished you could build a world where all Minho did was dance. 

"That was-" you start when he stops the music but he cuts you off instantly, "I said no comment."

"But--" Minho places his finger on your mouth to silence you, seemingly not thinking too much of it. But the feel of his finger on your lips makes you dizzy. Minho quickly takes off his hand, a blush evidently creeping up his neck. 

"Let's just go home," he sighs in defeat and you laugh despite the intense feelings cursing through you.

You don't know if you are imagining it but you swear that your pinkies brush against each other on your walk back. As if there was this magnetic force pulling them together. You wondered what would happen if you just linked your pinky with his. Would he grab you by the hand or will he let go of you entirely?

You were too much of a coward to find out. You were scared of messing up anything with him. So, you'd settle for this. Stolen glances and random outings. You just need him in your life. 

"Thank you for today," you tell Minho once you arrive and he shrugs, as what he did wasn't a big deal.

"No, I mean it. Thank you," you repeat, trying your best to convey how sincere you were being. You take in a deep breath, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it, for a fleeting second, before dropping it again. 

Minho is sure that your hand will now be imprinted into his, that the lines tracing over your palm will merge with his as one. Your touch was barely there but it had electrocuted him. He wondered to himself if his body would be able to handle more from you. But he'd gladly burn in your fires for the sake of holding you. And he'd wait, unwaveringly, as time stretches alongside the two of you. He'd wait as long as it takes for you. 

"Yn, I..." he stammers, taking a step closer to you. His scent engulfs you and you shamefully close your eyes, inhaling it. When you open them again, you find Minho glancing down at your lips. You gulp, dazzled by his proximity. 

"You have a mole on your nose," you suddenly speak up and his eyes snap back to yours, an adorable confusion drawn on his features. 

"I like that mole," you continue and you wish you could dig yourself a hole and bury yourself in it. 

"Thank you," he chuckles and you nod vigorously, "You're welcome." 

"Can I ask you something?" he says and your breath hitches in your throat. "Sure."

"You don't like it when people touch you, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Can I ask why?" 

You want to confide in him, to tell him that it’s because you long for it, you crave it so badly. That this need has woven itself into the very fabric of your being. An ache so raw that it scares you at times. You’ve never known what it feels like to be held- it was uncharted territory to you. 

"Isn't everyone scared of the unknown?" you settle on saying, and he nods in understanding. Of course, he understood. No one knows you as well as him. 

"It's okay. I just wanted to know if I ever overstepped my boundaries."

"You didn't," you reply instantly. 

"Good. You'll tell me if I ever do, right?"

"I will." 

"Okay." 

"Um. I'll get going," you point behind you and Minho smiles at you, waving you off.

You walk for a few steps before coming back again quickly. You then grab Minho’s hand, gently squeezing it like before, "You are an amazing dancer." 

And then you drop it, running back towards your apartment block without waiting for a reply. 

Minho stays frozen in his place. You think he's an amazing dancer. And you held his hand for five seconds. 

That's four seconds more than the first time. 

Progress.        

✹✹✹

You haven't gotten out of your house for the past three days. 

Everything crashed around you rapidly, it made you realize that the ground you once stood on was only an illusion, elusive and fleeting. 

You were doing well; you were getting better. But then Monday came and you went out for a walk in the park near you. As you sat there, you saw a little girl playing on the swings, delightful joy dancing across her features. But then she fell to the ground and you instinctively stood up to help her, only to notice her mother running to her. 

The world stilled around you as you clearly saw it- how the little girl clung to her mother's embrace, her embodiment of hope and love. You never had that. You don’t even know what perfume your mother used because she never allowed you to get that close to her. 

You stood up abruptly, quickly heading back to your apartment block. As you ran up the stairs, you ended up bumping into one of your neighbors. You were quick to apologize but they ignored you, and the feeling of being invisible came back to haunt you ten times fold. 

You knew you shouldn’t have done it, you knew you should have deleted your mother’s number when she sent you away to university without a backward glance, relieved at the thought of you getting a full-ride scholarship and not needing her anymore. But you didn’t, you kept her number in the hopes that she’d call. On your birthday, on holidays, on a random Thursday to tell you that she did remember who you are. 

With trembling hands, tears welling in your eyes, you dialed your mother’s number for the first time in a year. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she didn’t find the courage to mend her wrongdoings and that's why she never called. 

"Hello?" her voice rang through your apartment. Goosebumps erupted on your arms and your hold on the phone tightened. Her voice took you back to memories you thought you had buried. How you spent countless nights yearning to hear the sound of her voice, how you regretted it once she spoke to attack you.

You hate her. You miss her. You want to hang up. You need to ask if she's doing okay. 

“Who is this?” Her voice was devoid of recognition, freezing you in your tracks. You felt as if a bucket of ice was thrown over your head, dousing the flame of hope that flickered in your heart. 

She deleted your number.

You quickly hung up, placing your phone down on the table. The tears refused to fall. It was as if your body had long anticipated this outcome, leaving only your wounded soul to bear the pain. 

Healing isn't linear, you've read about it in books and heard it in shows and movies. One step back doesn't mean that your entire progress is gone. You know this, you've memorized those sentences. So why do you not believe them? Why does it feel as if you can never be free from the past? Why does it feel as if you’ll always seek something out of her? 

Those questions roamed your mind for the past three days, making you too tired at the prospect of lifting your limbs, let alone leaving your apartment. You sent your two friends a text, telling them that you're sick so they wouldn't worry. Not that you believed they would. Nothing made sense to you anymore.

You laid on your bed in utter silence- a tense quiet that was disrupted on the third day by someone knocking on your door. You didn't know who was there; you just hoped that they'd leave you alone.

To your surprise, you open the door to find Minho, some notes in his right hand and a coffee in his left. He sends an easy smile your way. You don't smile back.

"What do you want?" your voice is cold, but Minho doesn't bristle. A cheeky smile settles on his lips as he leans on your doorway.

"You didn't come to class for the past three days, so I brought you the notes. So, you wouldn't think our competition is unfair."

"Competition," you chuckle coldly, heading inside your apartment, and he follows suit. You start to pace around furiously, and Minho looks at you worriedly. "Competition?" you repeat, the word dripping off your tongue like venom. You turn around, marching towards Minho and standing a few inches from him. "You know what? Fuck you and your competition!"

"Yn-"

"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted a part in this competition? That all I wanted was to be left alone?" you say, growing louder as you jab your finger into his chest repeatedly. "I never wanted any of this! Do you understand? I never wanted to be this way," you shout angrily in his face.

The worried look in Minho’s eyes snaps you out of your haze. You realize that you are being utterly ridiculous lashing out at Minho, when the one person you are mad at is yourself. 

Your anger quickly deflates, leaving in its trail an agonizing sadness. It's so sudden that it knocks the breath out of you, and you clutch your chest as if it could soothe the burn in your heart. Suddenly you are twelve years old again, crying in your room because you feel like no one has ever loved you.

But this time you aren't alone. Minho is in front of you, and his eyebrows are so furrowed you want to lean forward to ease the tension between them. His eyebrows, you liked his eyebrows, they were arched, and they framed his eyes nicely, and his eyes are brown and so big, and they always look at you softly and why is it getting so hard to breathe-

"Did I do something to you? Whatever it is I’m sorry," Minho panics, cutting off your frantic train of thought. But now, the weight of guilt adds to your overwhelming emotions. You shouldn't have lashed out at him, he brought you coffee and you yelled at him. Maybe your mom was right after all.

You shake your head left and right furiously, your words coming out in hiccups. Since when did you start crying? "It isn't- it isn't you."

"Then let me help you-", he steps forward, hand outstretched, but you take three hurried steps back and wrap your hands around yourself protectively. "Don’t. Please, don't."

"Why are you pushing me away?" his tone isn't accusatory. You've learned time and time again that Minho wouldn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable.

"You won't understand."

"Then make me."

"Because I’m afraid!" the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I’m afraid if you ever hug me, I wouldn't be able to go back to hugging myself. I'd need you and I can't afford to need someone else."

You regret the words as soon as they fleet away from your mouth. He would look at you differently, he would find you pathetic and then he’d leave. And you wanted him to leave. But you also wanted him to stay. It was all so confusing. 

You felt as if your being was torn between two great forces, each one of them trying to win the war raging inside you. You wished someone else would make the decisions in your place, for once.

Minho places the coffee and notes on the ground before approaching you, his palms facing up in a gesture of surrender. "I won't leave you," he says softly. "I’ll be by your side for as long as you'll have me."

"Minho..." your voice catches in your throat as you utter his name- like a broken prayer. He stands before you, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of a river on a sunny day.

"Please, let me make it better." 

You nod tentatively and Minho comes even closer to you. He was treating you like one would with a wounded animal, giving you a chance to ultimately back out. But for once, you listen to what your heart has been yearning for. Your bones are aching to be held, to feel the warmth of a body against your own, to feel safe and secure. 

Minho embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you to him. You slowly bring your arms up and lace them around his waist. You are afraid, deathly afraid. His grip is loose, and you almost can't feel him around you, but when you lay your head on his chest, he tightens his hold on you and you instinctively let out a sob. 

He's hugging adult you, the woman whose heart was once again broken by her mom. But he's also hugging little you, the girl who was craving affection from everyone around her. In that instant, Minho is hugging every single version of you that ever needed a hug. 

You were right to be scared because you don't want to let go, you want to stay in his arms because they feel safe, like a shield protecting you. You can't go back to not hugging Minho. 

The sensation is overwhelming and your knees buckle underneath you. But instead of holding you up, Minho falls to the ground with you, as if you are two inseparable pieces of one puzzle. He isn’t here to fix you, he’s here to break down with you and help you pick up the scattered pieces.

You think back to that night in the park when Minho told you about Japanese vases. At this moment, it dawns on you that Minho has found a way to become a part of you. He was the molten gold binding your broken parts together. He was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together.

Who were you fooling? It was him; it was him all along. 

Minho rocks you gently as you cry and cry and cry. His hand finds your hair and he plays with it as you sob. He tells you you'll be okay, you'll feel better and you try to believe him, his words wrap around your bruises like a healing balm. 

"There, there, love. You are okay", he murmurs, tenderly patting your head. A fresh set of tears wells up in your eyes. Love.

"I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," you apologize as you pull away from his embrace. 

"Why are you apologizing? Is it because you wet my shirt? I don't mind," he reassures you with a smile and you shake your head. 

 "I was mean to you and you didn’t deserve it," you explain through hiccups.

"It's okay, you weren't mad at me, were you?" he asks, wiping your tears away so gently with his thumbs, careful not to irritate the sensitive skin.

"No. Still, it isn't okay and I’m sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Shh, don't apologize. It's okay." you look at him doubtfully and he rolls his eyes playfully, "Here I’ll even do your silly pinky promise, okay?" he laces his pinky with yours, but then he suddenly leans forward and places a chaste kiss on your thumb pad. "There, sealed forever."

You giggle faintly as a blush dusts your cheeks, "That's not how it works."

"I know."

Your giggle was far different from the ones Minho was accustomed to. It was small, and it didn't brighten up your face like usual. But he was grateful for it nonetheless. He realized how much he missed your laugh, and how all the other sounds in the world pale in comparison to it.

In that moment Minho thinks to himself that he'd do anything to make you smile again. He'd make a fool out of himself if it meant making you happy. He'd settle for a simple tug at the corners of your mouth, anything but the sadness that seemed etched in your face, as if it was blended into the colors that drew you.

You tentatively move around, before laying your head on his lap. Minho's hand instinctively finds your hair and he starts to gently play with it. It feels as if you've done this a million times before, when in fact it was the first. 

There was something wildly intimate about laying on the floor with the man who just comforted you. It made you want to spill all your secrets to him, one by one, and have him hug you through them.

"Did you mean it? When you said you'll stay?" you felt so vulnerable in his hold, as if he could twist you whoever he liked. But you trusted him. You trusted yourself with Minho.

"I did. Your walls are always up. It's hard to peek behind them. But I don't want to tear them down. I want you to slowly unbuild them. I want you to do it for yourself."

To do it for yourself, it's hard to even know who you are anymore. 

"I want to tell you."

"You don't need to."

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay. Take your time, kitten." he pats your head gently, and you try to sync your breathing to the rhythm of his touch. You were grateful that you were lying on his lap since you couldn't see his face. It made talking feel a little less daunting.

"On my 9th birthday... I was very excited. I'd been on my best behavior that month, trying to please my mom in the hope that, for once, we'd celebrate my birthday. Like a normal little family," you smile sadly, you were so hopeful back then.

"My birthday came, I woke up, excited. My mom was still asleep, nothing out of the ordinary. So, I made my breakfast and walked to my school. I wore my prettiest dress and put on pigtails with hair clips. It was my birthday after all," Minho smiles softly at your words, his hand now resting on your own.

"I got back home and waited for my mom to come back. She remembered my birthday, I thought. And then, she came but she didn't talk to me. So, I thought, oh a surprise party!" you chuckle, but this time the smile on Minho’s face is gone.

"It was then 11 pm, and the hope had slowly died in me. So, in my stupid innocent self, I went to my mom, and asked her "Did you forget my birthday?". And I remember... I remember the way she laughed. Cruelly. Like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. And then. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said 'I hate the fact that you are born. Why would I celebrate that?'"

Minho sucks in a deep breath at your words, and you exhale one right out. It felt comforting, to have someone else stomach the hurt for you. To take the weight off your shoulders, allowing you a few moments to breathe.

"I confronted her about it one day, but she said she doesn't remember saying that. It's funny how it was a random Thursday for her, but for me, it shaped my life." you smile bitterly, "I remember how jealous I was of the way the other kids talked about their mothers. They said the word so lightly. It must have reminded them of sunshine and ice cream and rainbows. But for me, it held an uncharacteristic heaviness to it. I grew to hate the word."

"I drove myself crazy, Min", you whisper and he brings you closer to his body, "was it me or was it her? When did it start? Was it because I was too loud as a child or maybe too quiet? Did I not cater to her fantasies of a kid? I wanted to remember every single thing that happened throughout my childhood, thread through every single memory. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my mom stopped loving me."

Minho squeezes your hand tightly in his, and you feel as if he was pulling you away from the memory that had long trapped you. You were now watching it unfold from outside of the window, your hand in his, safe from the hurt it had inflicted on you.

"It's not you. It could never be you. Some people are simply not fit to be parents. It's never their kid's fault."

Minho tries his best to keep his touch soothing, to make his voice sound as soft as possible. But he was angry, he was so angry at the world for not taking care of you when you were younger. His heart broke, thinking of 9-year-old you being told such cruel words.

He wanted to turn back time and tell you that you were enough. He wanted to make the pain that seemed so anchored in you float back to the surface, and dissipate like sea foam meeting the shore.

But he couldn't do that. All he could do is comfort present you.

Minho gently pulls you up from his lap, making you sit upright. He crisscrosses his legs and you do the same. Your knees brush against each other and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You didn't know that even knees could emanate such warmth.

"Yn, look at me. The world wouldn't be the same without you in it," he cradles your face between his hands, "You hear me yn? I’m so thankful you exist."

His doe brown eyes are sincere, and it made you want to believe him badly. That's a good start, right?

"I’ll be back," he tells you, letting go of your face and standing up.

You hear Minho rummaging through the kitchen and you take the time to calm yourself down. Sharing those parts of you with Minho felt therapeutic. As if you were healing parts of your inner child. You have never talked about this with anyone before, maybe this is why it still hurt as badly.

Minho comes back five minutes later, his hands behind his back. You raise a brow at him inquisitively and he just smiles secretly at you. "Close your eyes," he tells you and you giggle, doing as he says. He crouches in front of you, and you hear him shuffle in his place for a bit.

Then, "Open your eyes yn," and you find him, in front of you, a cupcake you had stored in your fridge in his hands, and a makeshift candle lit up. "Happy 9th birthday, love. You did well."

You stare at him in utter bewilderment. You couldn't believe your eyes. How could this man be so thoughtful? He was wishing you a belated birthday, to compensate for the 9th birthday you didn't celebrate.

You panic, at the look in his eyes. You've never seen it, never dared to dream of it, of someone caring for you unconditionally. So, you try to scare him, to push him away. You didn't want him to regret knowing you.

"There are things I need you to know um", you chuckle nervously, "When I... When I throw up, I hold my hair, and when I’m sick I nurse myself back to health, and when I have a nightmare I- I hold my hand in the dark. It will be hard for me to hold yours instead."

"We'll start a finger at a time, yeah?"

"It will take time."

"I have time," he speaks easily, as if loving you was effortless and not a strenuous task. You couldn't fathom it.

"You are too busy-", he cuts you off instantly, "Not for you." 

"The world doesn't stop because we need it to." Your voice is quiet; this is your very last try. You are tired of fighting. You are putting down your armor and waving a white flag.

"We'll make it stop. Here, the two of us. On this floor. We'll take as long as we need to."

"I never deemed you as an optimist", you smile a little, a hint of teasing in your tone.

"I’m not," he pauses, gazing down at the cupcake between his hands and then at you. "But I feel that we deserve a bit of happiness together, don't we?"

"We do."

"Then make a wish."

You close your eyes for a few seconds, before blowing on the candle.

"What did you wish for?" he asks a fond smile on his face.

The answer came naturally to you, you didn't even need to think about it. "I wished for you."

Minho's lips come crashing down on yours, and you imagine that this is what it feels like to see colors for the first time. To discover a new world beyond the one you've always known.

The kiss isn't urgent nor feverish, it is one of comfort. Your lips spilling the words you have not yet said to each other. "I love you," he kisses you, "I love you too," you kiss him back. "I need you to stay," you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, "I’m never leaving you," he opens his mouth allowing you entrance.

As you kiss him, you remember a fact you once learned in high school. The human body possesses seven trillion nerves. And for the first time in your life, you feel as if each of these nerves is alive. You feel that even the smallest atom is electrocuted with Minho’s love and it’s all you know within you.  

You feel as if the pain, the hurt, and the ache you've been through are slowly unraveled, and in their place, a timid happiness is starting to bloom. You imagine that when Minho’s lips met your own, the seven trillion nerves inside you exhaled in relief 'We've made it', they said, 'we'll finally be okay.'

Epilogue

You've always thought that epilogues were useless. How can you resume the rest of your life in one sentence, boil down the rest of your existence in mere pages? Because life doesn't stop at the epilogue, and a new book can start once again, right where you left it off.  

But with Minho, you didn't mind an epilogue. On the contrary, you longed for a soft one. You wanted to rest on this last page, you wanted to lay your worries on the words and tuck them into the syllables. And you wanted to wake up anew.

And this wasn't the end of your story with Minho. A lot happened after it. But it didn't worry you, because epilogues are about the one thing that doesn't change throughout the long march of time. And luckily for you, that constant was Minho’s love for you. From that day he held you, he has never let go.

It took time, for his warmth to seep through your bones. It took time, for your heart to forget the cold. But you wanted to do it. With him. You wanted to love and be loved.

The sound of cats mewling fills your apartment, pudding can always be found in your fridge and you haven't felt invisible in years.

stars will fall

pairing, park sunghoon x fem! reader

synopsis, you’ve had a crush on park sunghoon for the longest time. all you’ve ever wanted was sunghoon to notice you, or at least pick you out of the dozen other girls throwing themselves at his feet. you can’t believe it takes a zombie apocalypse for him to notice you.

genre, zombie apocalypse au, aouad au, strangers (?) to lovers, mutual pining to lovers

warnings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, swearing, lots of death, minor character death, open/ambiguous ending, reader gets cut with a knife, lots of mentions of blood, stabbing, mentions of guns.

word count, 16.4k

author’s note, heavily inspired by all of us are dead, like there might be some similiar scenes from aouad in this fic😨 please enjoy reading this it was A Lot To Write. i also watched a the last of us gameplay while writing this…so theres some tlou influence in this fic as well. maybe i’ll write a tlou au who knows?! also this fic is heavily unedited, pls mind my mistakes Lol! this fic is for daphne, ily the hoonerz to my jake🫶🫶

Your life is like a wave brushing against the shoreline. It’s full of routine. It’s full of gentle actions and gentle words. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. Your life isn’t remarkable; you spend your days at school and in your apartment with your mother. You spend nights eating at the chicken restaurant your friend’s parents own. You study until you pass out. Rinse and repeat.

Your life is like a steady wave brushing against the shoreline. It’s a natural occurrence. You stay in the routine you’ve known your whole life. Wake up, take a shower, have breakfast with your mom, walk with Seeun to school, sit next to Kim Sunoo and listen in on his conversations hoping you’ll hear a word about Park Sunghoon, you sit with Seeun in the cafeteria at lunch and watch Park Sunghoon, you go back to class. After school you walk home with Seeun, study at the chicken restaurant her parents own, go to the karaoke booth next door for an hour, walk back to your apartment with Seeun, and study until you pass out. Rinse and repeat.

Today is nothing out of the ordinary. You kiss your mother goodbye and wait outside your apartment for Seeun. The door next to you swings open and Yoon Seeun steps out, a white ribbon tying her hair back. “Y/N!” Seeun cheers, reaching for your hand. “Sorry I’m late. Are you ready to go? I think we’ll have enough time to make it before they start handing out detention slips.”

You hum. “You better wish for that, Seeun. We’ve cut it close before, but never this close. C’mon, I want to at least get to school and have a few seconds to stare at Sunghoon from afar.”

Seeun giggles and you ignore her. You know what Seeun thinks of your crush, she thinks you should just confess your feelings to Sunghoon. “There’s no harm, Y/N!” Seeun’s always told you, but she just doesn’t get it. There’s so much to lose when it comes to facing someone like Park Sunghoon who was built by the hands of Earth.

Park Sunghoon is a widely-known name in the province. He’s an up-and-coming figure skater, his visuals are akin to the K-pop idols you see at university festivals, his body proportions are those of a model’s. His personality, well, that’s a part of the mystery called Park Sunghoon. His name may be widely spoken about, but no one has helpful information about Park Sunghoon. If he’s ever talked about, it’s either about his figure skating career, his looks, or his friends. Sunghoon’s never spoken to anyone outside of his family and close friends as far as you’re aware. You’ve been going to the same school as Sunghoon ever since you could remember and he’s always hung out with the same six boys.

Your crush on Sunghoon started when you were fourteen. Puberty was a crazy time for you. The girls and boys were maturing and separating into groups, it wasn’t the same anymore. You stuck with Seeun, of course, because she was the only friend you ever made. You remember the day you started liking Sunghoon with clarity. It was after school, you were at Seeun’s chicken restaurant and Sunghoon entered. He was laughing with his friends over something, and you swear you’ve never seen anyone laugh prettier than Sunghoon. It was like time had slowed as you watched Sunghoon laugh. It was then, you realized you wanted to see Park Sunghoon laugh for the rest of your life.

Too bad the world wasn’t on your side and as years passed, Sunghoon became more withdrawn and seeing him laugh became something of the past. Now, you rarely ever saw Sunghoon. The only times you were given chances to see Sunghoon was before school started and at lunchtime. You took those moments and cherished them.

You thought this year would change everything; you were assigned to sit beside Kim Sunoo, one of Park Sunghoon’s closest friends. But most of the year has passed and you haven’t said anything more than four sentences to Kim Sunoo. Darn you and your social awkwardness. Soon you’ll have to resign and admit the truth; you’re nothing more than another one of Park Sunghoon’s fangirls.

You and Seeun rush across the street and through the school’s gates hand-in-hand. Only a few minutes left until school starts and detention slips are handed out. Breathing heavily as you slow down into a walk, you glare at Seeun. “That was extremely close, See.”

Seeun rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Y/N. Let’s go find your loverboy.”

You did not get to see your loverboy that morning. You slouch in your seat that morning, pouting lightly as you drew random stars all over your textbook. You’ll always have lunchtime to stare at Sunghoon from afar and wonder what it would be like to sit next to him and listen to him laugh. Beside you, Sunoo stares out the window, sunlight washing across his face. You’ve always thought Sunoo was handsome. His visuals are sharp and fox-like, it’s no wonder he’s the most admired boy on campus behind Park Sunghoon. (He’s often referred to as the Handsome Oppa of your class.)

A chair scrapes back drawing your attention away from Sunoo. Kang Suyeon stands, her hands resting against the desk in front of her. Suyeon’s face was extremely pale and sweat dripped down the side of her face. “Excuse me, could I please go --” Suyeon couldn’t even finish her sentence because she faints and panic spreads through the classroom.

“Kim Sunoo! Kim Y/N!” The teacher gestures for you to help her lift Suyeon up. “Let’s go to the nurse’s office.” The teacher says after both of Suyeon’s arms are wrapped around your and Sunoo’s shoulders. Together, you and Sunoo struggle under Suyeon’s weight to take the fainted girl to the nurse’s office.

“Poor Suyeon,” Sunoo says gently, his eyes darting over to you, “I hope she’s okay.”

You nod slightly in response. “Me too.”

Entering the nurse’s office you freeze up -- why is Sunghoon here?

“Y/N?” Sunoo asks, looking at you questioningly. A blush spreads over your face and you stumble forward, placing Suyeon on the bed next to where another student lies, face also pale and sweating. Park Sunghoon and Sim Jaeyun stand next to the boy watching as Nurse Jeon checks whatever needs to be checked.

One look at Suyeon and Nurse Jeon glances at your teacher. “Another one?”

“What do you mean, Sooyoung?”

Nurse Jeon drags your teacher out of the office leaving you alone with Sunoo, Jaeyun, Sunghoon, and two unconscious students. Afraid to glance around the room, your eyes never leave Suyeon. Her chest rises and falls at a rapid rate, and she’s sweating more than she was in the classroom. You stare at her hands, the area around her cuticles was bleeding pretty badly. Suyeon must’ve been picking at her skin before she fainted.

“Did she also faint, Sunoo?” Jaeyun asks. “Joon also fainted. Fell right out of his seat.”

Sunoo nods. “Suyeon stood up to ask the teacher something, but fainted halfway through her sentence,” Sunoo glances at the doorway of the office and then leans across the bed Suyeon lay on, lowering his voice. “I heard a rumor a couple of days ago. Apparently, Suyeon’s pregnant.” Sunoo looks back at Suyeon, “that’s probably why she fainted.”

It’s silent for a few moments before Sunghoon snorts. “You don’t believe that bullshit rumor do you, Sunoo?”

“Hey!”

You hear a chuckle. Looking up, you find Sunghoon grinning as his shoulders move. He was laughing and your insides curl up. You’re finally hearing the laugh you’ve been dying to hear for years.

“You’ll be eating your words soon, Sunghoon,” Sunoo scowls. “Nurse Jeon will walk back in and check Suyeonie and say she’s pregnant. You’ll owe me ten thousand won.”

Sunghoon laughs again. You really like his laugh.

Suyeon jolts awake suddenly, shattering apart the joyful mood in the room as everyone jumps back. “Suyeon --” your voice stops sharply when Suyeon grips your wrist, her fingernails digging into your skin and you cry out. You use your other hand to try and pry off Suyeon’s hands but to no avail.

Another hand appears and helps pry off Suyeon’s hand. “Jaeyun,” Sunghoon calls out, “hold her down. You too, Sunoo.” He calls for nurse Jeon after, taking your wrist into his hand as blood trails down from where Suyeon’s nails had dug into your skin and drops onto the white bedsheet. His hand is warm. “You’re hurt.” His eyes dig into yours. You feel uncomfortable beneath Sunghoon’s gaze because it doesn’t hold the same warmth that was there when he talked to Sunoo.

“Right,” you say, your voice shaking.

Sunghoon leads you over to a chair as nurse Jeon subsides Suyeon with some sort of injection. Kneeling down in front of you, Sunghoon cleans and bandages up your wrist. Pressing lightly, he looks back up at you. “Replace the bandage with a new one tomorrow morning.”

“O-Okay.” You internally curse yourself. Why did you have to be so awkward around Sunghoon?

“Y/N,” Sunoo calls out, “it’s time for us to head back.”

Nodding your head, you scramble up out of your chair and step around Sunghoon. His touch burns your skin and your heart quickens. You pinch yourself. No. You weren’t dreaming but this certainly felt like a dream.

“Are you okay, Y/N? Suyeonie was gripping you really hard,” Sunoo asks, concern shining on his face.

You smile, your cheeks burning beneath his attention. “I’m okay Sunoo, thank you for asking.”

Sunoo beams. He really does remind you of the sun. “Seatmates care for each other!” Warmth floods your chest and your cheeks burn even more. Sunoo’s sincere words circle your mind even as you settle back down in your seat next to Sunoo.

—-

It was finally lunchtime. You watch Sunghoon from afar as he laughs with Lee Heeseung, throwing some food at the older boy. Beside you, Seeun admires the bandage Sunghoon placed on you. “Wow, this is like a relic, Y/N. I bet if you auction it off it could go for a high price. I don’t think anyone has ever been bandaged up by Sunghoon before.”

You huff and rip your wrist out of Seeun’s hands. “I forgot to say thank you to Sunghoon. I should probably go do that now because what if he thinks I’m impolite? Oh, I would never sleep at night if I knew he thought that.”

Seeun laughs. “Well, go on then, thank loverboy for bandaging you up. Gift him with a kiss while you’re at it.”

You scowl and take your eyes off Sunghoon. “Seeun, shut up.”

Seeun giggles and reaches out to pinch your cheeks. “Hey! It’s just a suggestion! And I didn’t mean on the lips, you crazy girl! The cheek would do just fine.”

You ignore Seeun and turn back around to stare at Sunghoon, only to find him gone. The table where he sits with his friends is abandoned and you slump, looking back at Seeun. “I missed my chance. Now he’s going to think I’m impolite for the rest of his life.”

Seeun laughs and rubs your back. “Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t think that.”

You ignore Seeun and push the food in front of you around on your plate. “I’m doomed for eternity. He’ll probably tell Sunoo he thinks I’m impolite for not saying thank you to him and Sunoo will gossip about it and soon --”

You never get to finish your sentence because students rush into the cafeteria, terror plastered across their faces. Seconds later, you see the reason why they were terrified.

Zombies.

Zombies only ever existed in your imagination. They only ever existed in books, movies, and TV shows. Not once did you ever think you would be an active participant in a Zombie apocalypse. You couldn’t move a single muscle as you watch students around you scramble to the exit or get tackled to the ground by a hungry Zombie. Beside you, Seeun screams in terror.

The Zombies were grotesque. Their faces were mutilated; like someone had punched them over and over. Blood covered their faces, eyes were gorged out and hanging, teeth were missing, cheeks were cut open, the eyes that remained in the eyesockets were the darkest black you had ever seen, and their skin was a terrifying pale green color.

“Y/N!” Seeun screams, terrified.

You snap back into reality as the fire alarm goes off and the sprinklers turn on. You and everyone else in the cafeteria are drenched in seconds. You survey the carnage going on around you. Zombies were pouring in through every available entrance and exit. In all honesty, you believed that this would be where you would die.

Windows.

You pinpoint a window, and then a table beneath it. You could stack chairs on top of the desk. Grabbing Seeun, you both slip across the wet ground, narrowly avoiding the Zombies that were once people you knew. Seeun sobs loudly behind you, shrieking whenever a Zombie strayed too close to the both of you. Your main priority was Seeun, you needed her safe.

Reaching the window, you tell Seeun to help you push a table up against the wall. Behind you, screams of terror filled the silence. You heard snarling and bones cracking, you heard other students crying out the names of their friends dying in front of their eyes. You needed to get out. You needed to find safety -- an adult. You needed an adult.

Grabbing a chair, you climb onto the table and smash open a window. Seeun climbs onto the table next to you, her sobs now muffled by the palms of her hands. You place the chair on top of the table and step onto it peering out the window. It was safe. Far safer than the cafeteria. “You first,” you tell Seeun.

“Y/N --”

“Seeun,” you cut your friend off, gripping her tightly, “I need you safe. You’re going first.”

Seeun nods her head. “Okay. Okay. Me first.” With a shaky inhale, Seeun climbs onto the chair, grips the window pane, and pulls herself out of the cafeteria. “Your turn!” She calls out and relief floods your body. Glancing behind you, you see the carnage -- it’s a sight you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

You drop down next to Seeun and grab her hand. “Let’s go to the nurse's office,” you say to Seeun. “Nurse Jeon will know what to do.” Together you both run away from the cafeteria and out into the courtyard, not expecting other places to be swarmed with Zombies -- but they were everywhere.

You begin to wonder how this was even possible -- where did the Zombie army come from? How were they able to turn that quickly? A Zombie lunges for both you and Seeun and with a quick yank, you pull the both of you away.

“Y/N!” Seeun calls out, but you ignore her. Surely Nurse Jeon is alive. She has to be. If not, maybe you and Seeun could seek refuge in the nurse’s office. You drag Seeun toward one of the entrances to the school building, but it’s immediately blocked by Zombies. You divert to another path, but come up short and terror begins to flood your body at a faster rate.

You didn’t want to die -- you couldn’t. You still had so much left to do.

But everywhere you went, there were Zombies and at every wall, Seeun sobbed louder. Anger and terror flood your veins, it blinds you, and you take Seeun down to a quieter place. Leaning against the wall, you turn to Seeun. “Seeun --”

“Y/N,” Seeun interrupts, “it’s hopeless.”

“Seeun, don’t say that,” you say, taking her other hand into yours. “I’ll look for another way in -- surely there’s a window we can climb into --”

“Y/N!” You’ve never heard Seeun scream louder. Suddenly, you’re yanked behind Seeun and watching a Zombie tackle Seeun to the ground. The world slows. There’s a loud ringing in your ears as you watch the terror occurring in front of you. Seeun’s screaming, desperately reaching for you, but you can’t hear her. You drop to your knees and crawl forward. Tears drop onto your hands. You didn’t even know you were crying. When did you start crying?

Desperately, you try to pull the Zombie off Seeun but it’s no use. You aren’t strong enough. The world is still quiet. Seeun stills beneath the Zombie, her hand falling limply to the ground. The Zombie’s eyes focus on you and you give in. This is how you die. Abruptly, there’s another hand on your shoulder that slips down to your forearm and is yanking you up onto your feet.

“Y/N!” Someone shouts right next to you. Everything slams back in focus and you finally hear everything -- you hear someone sobbing loudly but Seeun’s dead? Who is the one crying now? You touch your face. Oh, you’re the one crying.

You’re yanked forward as the Zombie pounces your way. You stumble over your feet, but the hand on your forearm keeps you steady. You focus on your savior; silver hair, long legs, and a familiar warm grip. It’s Park Sunghoon -- what was Park Sunghoon doing?

You try to say something, but all that comes out is a sob. You don’t know what is happening. One moment you were sitting in the cafeteria with Seeun, and the next you were watching her die. Your arm hangs limp in Sunghoon’s grip as he drags you through the outside of the school. Zombies and lifeless bodies litter the ground. Loud screaming and snarls fill the air and you wonder if Seeun could make it out of this alive even if you did just watch her die. Seeun can’t be dead. Sure, you saw her arm fall to the ground, but Sunghoon had pulled you away too soon.

Seeun can’t be dead. With that thought, you rip your arm out of Sunghoon’s hold causing the older boy to top in his tracks. He whirls around, eyes wide as he focuses all his attention on you. In another situation, you would be frozen beneath this kind of attention, but right now, all you want is Seeun by your side once more.

“Y/N --”

“Seeun’s not dead. I need to go back for her.” You like to think you sound more articulate and calm, but all that comes out are sobs and jumbled-up words. You watch Sunghoon’s eyes droop in sympathy. “Seeun -- she’s not -- she can’t be --”

“Y/N,” Sunghoon takes your hand. “I’m sorry. But we have to keep moving. They’re waiting for us.” He springs back into action with you following behind, sobbing even louder. You don’t even remember how you make it into the school building. Tears fill your vision and Seeun’s death is repeated in your mind. The more you watch it, the more hopelessness fills you. Seeun’s really dead. There’s no denying it anymore. Seeun’s dead and you just watched her die.

The running stops. Sunghoon bangs on a door and it slides open. You and Sunghoon step into a familiar classroom filled with unfamiliar faces. Sunghoon drops your hand and helps whoever was behind you stack the chairs back on top of the desks keeping the door shut.

Once again, ringing fills your ears and the world quietens around you. Seeun’s death is still playing in your mind. Your eyes drop down to look at your hands, and you see the blood that wasn’t there before. You wail loudly and drop to your knees, bunching up your skirt and hurriedly scrubbing off the blood from your hands. It doesn’t work. The blood won’t come off your hands and you continue to sob.

There are voices.

“...Sunghoon what the fuck….”

“....../N? Why is she here, Sunghoon? You said you were getting…..”

“......just pick up random people!”

“….is she doing? Someone stop her, Y/N……”

Hands pull your skirt away. The rubbing stops and you look up. Sunghoon’s kneeling in front of you again, his mouth poised to speak when you shriek and scramble back from Sunghoon, your butt sliding across the floor. “Don’t touch me!”

Silence rings through the room.

You finally glance around the room. Lee Heeseung. Park Jongseong. Sim Jaeyun. Nishimura Riki. Kim Sunoo. Yang Jungwon. All of Sunghoon’s friends are gathered in one room. And now you’re here. You’re here, and Seeun’s out there. Lying all alone. You’re alive and Seeun’s dead and you watched. You watched Seeun die. Hot tears stream down your face and you desperately wipe them away with the back of your hand, not caring if blood is smeared across your face.

“Y/N,” it’s Sunoo. Your sweet seatmate settles in front of you. He reaches out and guides your hand away from your face, wiping the tears himself. There’s a gentle smile on his face. “You’re safe now.”

You ignore the purposeful cough after Sunoo’s words. You can worry about safety later -- for now, you’re in a classroom that isn’t full of Zombies. “Sunoo,” your voice cracks and you lean forward, your cheek pressed to Sunoo’s chest as he wraps you into a hug. “Seeun’s dead.”

“Oh, Y/N,” Sunoo’s hand rubs your back. “I’m sorry.”

There’s a loud bang on the door and everyone in the room jumps. Sunoo squeezes you tightly, his chest not moving beneath your cheek. The silence in the room is overwhelming. Seconds pass and there’s no other bang. “Let’s get you up, Y/N, come on.” Sunoo helps you up, wiping your face with his hands again.

Sunoo helps you to a chair, and as soon as you sit down, you notice everyone in the room looking at you. Bowing your head, the tips of your ears turn red.

“Y/N,” Sunghoon says and you peer at him. “Are you okay?”

Nishimura Riki snorts. “That’s a stupid question to ask, Sunghoon.”

“What else am I supposed to ask? ‘How’s your day going so far?’”

Jaeyun snorts, clearly amused but covers it up with a cough.

Sunghoon looks back at you, but you avert your eyes, opting to stare at your shoes instead. A heavy silence settles over the group. Noises that were still unfamiliar to you floated through the open window in the classroom. Goosebumps spread over your skin as you hear heavy footsteps run down the hallway. Everything happened so fast that you’re still running the events that lead up to this moment through your head.

The cafeteria. You were watching Sunghoon. Seeun was beside you. The Zombies came and you escaped out a window with Seeun.

The back exterior wall of a building. You and Seeun. Watching Seeun die. Sunghoon appears out of nowhere and drags you with him to some kind of safety.

The classroom. You’re with Sunghoon. And Sunoo. And their friends -- the friends everyone talks about. The world is muffled around you once more and your breathing grows shallow -- how are you supposed to get home? How are you supposed to look Seeun’s parents in the eye and tell her their daughter is dead and you watched.

“Y/N?” Sunoo’s gentle fingers brush hair behind your ear. He looks concerned as he holds your chin between his fingers. “Hey, it’s okay.” It’s not okay -- you don’t think it will ever be okay because Seeun’s gone. Your best friend is gone. And you hate how her death is the only thing you can see whenever you close your eyes.

You tune back into the conversation happening beside you. Jongseong sounds exasperated. “We’ll stay here until tomorrow. We have no plan, Heeseung. And Sunghoon decided to add one more person to our party of seven.” Jongseong sounds more than exasperated, he sounds resentful. You curl into yourself even more because it wasn’t like you asked to join Sunghoon, he was the one who pulled you away from your death sentence.

“Having Y/N doesn’t mean the end of the world, Jongseong,” Jaeyun says, sighing after his sentence. “Since Sunghoon brought her here, she’s his burden.”

Burden. That’s all you were to these seven boys. A burden. And no one wants to bear the burden.

Sniffling, you wipe your nose with the sleeve of your school cardigan and stand up. The chair scrapes against the ground and all attention is pulled to you once again. You stalk over to the corner of the classroom and slide down the wall, curling up into a ball, and pressing your face against your legs desperate to sleep because when you wake up, hopefully, you’ll be back in your seat beside Sunoo with the sun shining on your face and Seeun’s familiar giggles floating through the classroom.

—-

It’s night when you pull your face away from your legs. It’s gotten oddly quieter, the only noises are from the Zombies. Looking out into the darkened classroom, you find Jaeyun, Riki, Heeseung, and Sunoo playing a card game, using the light from the lamp outside the classroom as a way to see.

Someone drops down beside you. Park Sunghoon. He holds out half a slice of Tiramisu wordlessly. He holds the other half. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until it was in your mouth. Instantly, you’re savoring the flavor and your taste buds are begging for more.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, his voice low.

You shrug. You didn’t know the answer to that question because you were feeling so much that it felt like nothing. Turning your head slightly you stare at Sunghoon, his silver hair standing out in the dark classroom. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone as perfect as Park Sunghoon. It was like his existence was written in the stars because no one has ever shone as brightly as he has. Sunghoon has everything anyone’s ever wanted.

“I’m sorry about Seeun,” Sunghoon says again, his eyes meeting yours.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, your finger tracing shapes on the dirty ground beneath you. Sunghoon’s uniform looks perfect like he had just put it on. His shoes, though, give it all away. They’re bloody, just like your skirt and your hands. “Can I call my mom?” You hate how your voice trembles. “I miss her. I want to hear her voice.”

“Oh,” Sunghoon glances over to his friends playing cards in the lamplight. “We don’t have any phones with us, Y/N.”

“Oh.” Your eyes burn again and you blink them away. You’re starting to grow sick of crying. “Do we know anything about this situation at all?”

Sunghoon shakes his head and his knee bumps yours. You feel the familiar warmth you felt back in the nurse’s office when Sunghoon bandaged you up.

The Nurse’s office.

“Sunghoon,” you start tentatively, his name rolling out of your mouth awkwardly. “What about Suyeon and Joon?”

Sunghoon looks at you confused.

“This morning. They both fainted and looked really pale and were sweating lots and what if they’re patient zero and one and --” Your heartbeat increases with each word you say, and it peaks as Sunghoon interrupts your sentence by grabbing your arm and peeling off your bandage.

Where there were four bloody scratches before, there was now nothing. It was as if you had never been scratched.

Your heart stills and you look up at Sunghoon who was already looking at you. “Sunghoon, I --”

A loud thud interrupts you. And another. And another. The silence in the classroom is loud. Sunghoon’s hand tightens around your wrist. Terror seeps through your blood and you adjust your position on the floor to be closer to Sunghoon.

Then, it happens all too fast; the window on the door to the classroom is smashed open and somehow, all the chairs stacked up on the table in front of the door go tumbling down onto the ground revealing a young boy. The snarling of the Zombies grows louder and the young boy, bleeding and terrified, pulls himself through the broken window of the door.

“Taki?” Nishimura Riki knows the boy. He’s looking at the unfamiliar boy with excitement, relief, and apprehension.

Turning around, the boy smiles when he spots Riki. “Riki! Hey!” He holds up his hand and waves and that’s when you, and everyone else see it. A bite. His hand is bloody and there, clear as daylight, is a bite.

Sunghoon’s hand is firmer around your wrist when he pulls you up off the ground. You keep your eyes on the scene unfolding in front of you -- Taki waving enthusiastically with a wide smile while Riki regards him in disbelief which turns into sadness.

“Taki,” Riki starts softly as Sunghoon leads you over to the rest of the group. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Riki!” Taki replies, still cheerful as ever.

The groans and snarls of Zombies grow even closer.

“Taki,” Riki says again, his voice still soft and eyes shining in the dark.

“Yeah?”

The first tear falls down Riki’s cheek. “You’re my best friend, you know that?”

“You’re mine too!” That’s when you notice it: Taki’s skin is beginning to turn green. Beside you, Heeseung and Jongseong exchange words in a low mumble.

“Sunghoon,” you whisper, “his skin. Look.”

“Y/N,” you look up at Sunghoon, his eyes rake over your face and even though you’re in the middle of imminent death, you feel warm. “Stick close.” His fingers brush over your wrist and somehow your stomach is still able to produce butterflies.

Heeseung walks closer to where Riki and Taki stand and lays a hand on Riki’s shoulder. “Riki,” Heeseung speaks, “we can’t stay here.” Behind you, a window clicks open. The tension in the room rises and you begin to feel unsettled. The groans of the Zombies are closer than ever.

“Heeseung --”

“Riki. We have to go.” Heeseung’s voice is hard and you see his hand digging into Riki’s shoulders.

“But Taki --”

“We can’t save him, Riki.”

There’s a loud snarl and that’s when you see it. One of the many Zombies crowding the door’s broken window. Flashes of Seeun’s death run through your mind and you can’t breathe. This feels all too scary and you want to escape. You want to go home. You want to be walking to school with Seeun again. You want to be fourteen and see Park Sunghoon laugh for the first time again.

“Riki? What’s going on?” Taki is confused. He doesn’t realize his skin is turning a light shade of green. He doesn’t notice the black liquid pouring out of his eyes. He doesn’t realize how black his eyes are turning. Taki steps closer as Riki and Heeseung step back.

“Taki,” Riki’s sob is heartbreaking. You hate this, you hate watching Riki have to come to terms with the fact his friend is turning into a Zombie. “You’ve been bitten.” Riki’s voice is thick as he speaks through the tears pouring down his face.

“What? No I’m not. Why are you saying these things, Riki?”

Behind you there’s movement. Glancing over your shoulder you find Yang Jungwon climbing out the window and slipping into the night.

There’s another thud and you find Taki on the ground with Heeseung gripping Riki tightly as the younger sobs loudly, adding more noise to snarling and groaning coming from the Zombies pressed up against the locked door.

In the next second, Taki is rising up from the floor and launching himself at Heeseung and Riki. Riki’s thrown out of the way and Heeseung tackles Taki down onto the floor. It’s like the Zombies are excited with the way they throw themselves at the door, eager to enter the room and take down the seven occupying the room.

There’s a flurry of movement behind you and you watch as Jongseong ushers Sunoo out the window. “You have to be careful, Sunoo,” Jongseong warns the boy, “one wrong move and you’re dead.”

Sunoo snorts. “That’s assuring, thanks, Jongseong.” And Sunoo’s gone, slipping into the night the same way Jungwon did. Suddenly, you’re being ushered forward, Jongseong’s sharp eyes slipping to you and immediate disdain creeps over his face.

“Y/N next,” Sunghoon demands from behind you.

“Sung--”

“She’s next.” Sunghoon’s voice leaves no room for argument and Jongseong huffs. You wonder how they both could be so calm in a situation like this. Behind you, you hear Heeseung grunt and Taki, the newly turned Zombie, growl. Riki’s sobs are loud and Jaeyun’s calming words aren’t doing anything to subdue the younger.

“What do I do?” You ask hesitantly, your voice quiet under Jongseong’s gaze.

“Climb out of the window and across to the broadcasting club’s room.”

Sunghoon’s hand slips from your wrist as Jongseong pulls you harshly towards the desk in front of the window. You look at him expectantly. “What?” Jongseong asks, “do you want to die?” You steal a glance at the horde of Zombies still pushing up against the door, their arms reaching through the window. You look at Heeseung, his school uniform getting torn beneath Taki’s needy hands, Jaeyun and Riki on the ground, and Sunghoon, who is behind you frowning.

When you look back at Jongseong, there’s shock hidden in his eyes. You wonder how he was able to figure out what you were thinking. You seriously wouldn’t mind dying right now. Jongseong’s reaching out and pulling you closer to him. You’ve never been this close to him. He looks extremely handsome.

“You’re not dying Y/N,” he whispers harshly, it’s hard to hear him over the noise echoing throughout the classroom. “And if you do die, it’ll be my own hands.” You never do get to ask Jongseong what he means because he’s pushing you towards the window and forcing you out. “Hold on, Y/N, and don’t look down. You’ll know when you’re at the broadcasting room because Jungwon will be waiting for you.”

The coldness of the night seeps through your school uniform. It does nothing to make the sweat on your hands evaporate, though. The ledge is not wide enough for a school kid to be inching their way across the outside of the school building. There’s little to nothing for your hands to grab onto and you don’t heed Jongseong’s advice. Looking down was your greatest mistake.

You’re so far up, and everywhere you look there’s a Zombie walking. One wrong step and you’re dead. You’re dead, and you won’t ever see Sunghoon again. One wrong step, and you’ll see Seeun again. Pushing yourself against the cool wall, you squeeze your eyes shut as tears form again. You didn’t want to be here in this situation. How did this all even happen? How did people you know turn into bloodthirsty monsters?

Opening your eyes, you see what Jongseong had meant when he told you Jungwon would be waiting for you. Light floods through an open window and there Yang Jungwon was, with fiery red hair, peering at you as he leans out of the window.

You don’t know much about Yang Jungwon; you just know the basics. He’s class president and head of the taekwondo club. He’s very good friends with Kang Taehyun and he works at a cat cafe. He’s also Park Sunghoon’s neighbor.

You inch your way over to the broadcasting club’s room, your hands sweatier than they’ve ever been. The horror that lay beneath you kept your heart rate beating at a rapid speed and kept terror streaming through your bloodstream.

Jungwon helps you into the broadcasting room, it’s much nicer in here and you spy a few water bottles resting on the desk. Instantly, you’re reminded of how thirsty you are. “Can we drink that?” You ask, making eye contact with Sunoo who spins around on a chair, his fingers fidgeting with whatever was in his lap.

“Go for it,” Sunoo says, “I think there’s enough for the eight of us.”

Riki is the next to join the three of you with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. Sunoo, with pitying eyes, hands Riki a tissue box and gently cards a hand through the younger boy’s hair. Riki instantly melts into Sunoo’s touch and you feel your heart tugging in despair for the boy.

Jaeyun follows after Riki also looking incredibly disheveled. He converses with Jungwon in a low voice and you begin to grow restless waiting for the remaining three boys. It hasn’t even been a full day and you’re already exhausted. You’re ready for this to all be some kind of fucked up prank because you can’t take this anymore. You want to survive to see your mom again, but you’re already tired that the thought of giving yourself to the Zombies doesn’t scare you as much anymore.

Jongseong is the next to join. He doesn’t look happy, “they forced me to go. The door is about to break down and Taki’s only just been restrained --” There’s a loud cry, silence, and then a bone-shattering thud. You, along with the five boys, crowd the window and look out into the dead night. Someone’s lying on the pavement, their limbs bent in awkward angles and your breath catches.

Riki’s the first to turn away, Jaeyun following after. Sunoo’s hand snakes around your elbow and pulls you away from the window. “Come on, Y/N, let’s go sit and wait.” You could hear the desperation in Sunoo’s voice so you comply, also desperate for some sort of distraction from the fear telling you that body was Sunghoon.

“Sunoo,” you say in a hushed voice, your knees pulled up to your chest, “I was talking to Sunghoon before. We know nothing about what’s going on but what if Suyeon and Joon were the ones who started it? Think about it, Sunoo.” You were desperate to have some kind of answer because maybe then you could figure out a way to end this all, to bring everyone infected back.

Sunoo stares at you, his face morphing through many emotions. That was one thing you always loved about Sunoo, he was always transparent about how he felt. “Y/N,” Sunoo says in amazement, “oh my god. Suyeonie. She was pale, but I thought she looked kind of green, and Joon -- they were both sweating a lot and then --” his eyes drop to your wrist that was no longer bandaged.

“Y/N,” you immediately hide your wrist from Sunoo. “Y/N, Suyeon made you bleed.” His eyes meet yours and you see the fear.

“Sunoo --”

“Heeseung!” Jungwon exclaims, hurriedly pulling the oldest through the window. Seconds later, Sunghoon also lands in the broadcasting room and his eyes immediately seek you out. His and Heeseung’s uniforms were in tatters. There were big gaping holes in their blazers and buttons missing, blood covering their pants and white blouses, and their ties had been ripped off.

“Are you okay, Heeseung? Sunghoon?” Jaeyun asks, “you aren’t hurt?”

Behind them, Jongseong slams the window shut quite loudly, and follows it up with a loud shout of “fuck!” The response from the Zombies is almost instant -- they begin to snarl and groan, moving in the direction of the window that had just been shut.

Of course -- no one pays attention to that response except for Jaeyun who furrows his eyebrows.

Jungwon hands Jongseong the last water bottle full of water. “This is all we have,” Jungwon speaks gently, “we’ll need to venture out tomorrow to find supplies. We can’t stay in here forever.”

“There was plenty of food in that classroom,” Sunoo says forlornly. “Everyone’s bags had secret snacks for nighttime studying.”

“We also need a phone,” Sunghoon speaks up, “some form of communication. We’re in the dark, we have no clue what’s going on, and,” Sunghoon cuts himself off, sighing deeply, “there may be. .Infections beyond the school.”

Everyone inhales sharply, their worst fear coming true.

Jongseong slumps down in defeat, hanging his head. “Jungwon’s right. We can’t stay here forever. We have to leave and try and reach somewhere safe, like a quarantine camp. But first, we need a phone.”

“The only information I know is that Suyeon and Joon may have started the outbreak at school, but how they got it themselves is still a mystery,” Sunghoon continues, his eyes holding yours.

“How do you know that, Hoon?” Heeseung asks, resting beside Jongseong.

“Because when they were in the infirmary they were acting weird,” Sunghoon says, “before Joon knocked himself out, he was moving weirdly and always trying to bite Jaeyun and I. I don’t know much about Suyeon, but I know when she woke up, she grabbed onto Y/N and made her bleed.”

All attention is directed back to you again.

“I bandaged her up, the scratches were pretty bad. Before Taki came, I checked her wrist. The scratches aren’t there anymore. It’s almost like she wasn’t scratched.”

The silence is too loud.

“Suyeon’s fingers were bleeding,” Sunoo says in a hushed voice, “when she scratched Y/N, her blood must’ve come into contact with Y/N’s.”

“So, Y/N’s a Zombie,” Riki says.

“What?” You croak, taken aback by the accusation. “No. I’m not.”

“We don’t know that Y/N,” Jongseong backs up Riki. Of course he does. “You could be some weird evolved Zombie for all we know.”

You scowl, hot anger surging through your veins suddenly. You don’t know where the change in mood came from. “If I were a Zombie, you’d be dead already, Jongseong.”

Jongseong scoffs. “You wouldn’t even be able to land a single finger on me. I’d take you down before you even get the chance to bite me. You’re weak compared to me, Y/N.”

All you see is red. It’s like you don’t have control of your own mind as you lunge for Jongseong ready to prove him wrong. Before you could even touch the boy, an arm wraps around your waist and holds you back. You struggle in the person’s arms, and you spit at the ground in front of Jongseong. “I’ll kill you,” your mouth is moving without your consent and spitting out words you don’t want to say. “I’ll fucking kill you.” With one last struggle, you’re pushing arms holding you back from Jongseong off you. The next thing you hear is a loud thud and a groan.

Glancing over your shoulder you see Sunghoon crumpled up on the ground, the locker that stood behind him was caved in, marking how he was flung into the metal. You stop breathing and register the silence and eyes staring at you in terror.

“I think Jongseong’s right,” Jungwon speaks up. “We can’t trust you, Y/N.”

“I’m not a Zombie,” your hands clench, fingernails pressing into your palm. “I don’t even know how I did that!”

“We can’t trust you,” Jungwon repeats. “But I don’t think we should be pushing you out to be with the Zombies,” he gestures to the recording booth. “Go in there.”

“You want me in the recording booth?”

“Just until morning. If by morning, you haven’t changed or done something weird, we’ll let you out, but, if something happens overnight, we’re leaving you here for good.” Jungwon’s tone sounds final and you can’t find it in you to rebut his idea because, if you think about it logically, it’s what’s best for both you and the seven boys.

Entering the recording room with Jungwon locking you in, it grows deathly quiet. You’re alone with your thoughts for the first time today and you don’t know what to do.

—-

“Y/N.” You don’t know how much time has passed when Sunghoon steps into the recording room. Your head snaps up at the sound of his voice and immediately you’re spewing your apologies. You didn’t mean to throw Sunghoon into the lockers. You hope he’s not too injured, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep at night knowing you had hurt Sunghoon unintentionally.

Something of a smile appears on Sunghoon’s face as he sits in front of you. “It’s okay, Y/N, I know you didn’t mean to push me that hard.” His hand reaches for your wrist and you let him take it, his fingertips gently tracing the patch of skin that was once covered by scratches.

“Sunghoon?” You ask, not raising your voice above a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Are you scared?”

It’s silent for a moment. The moonlight washes over Sunghoon’s face and you’ve never wanted to kiss someone this badly before. “Of you? Never,” came Sunghoon’s response, and your body burns. It burns so intensely you can’t breathe.

“Oh. I was asking if you were scared of the situation. Not me.”

Sunghoon looks up at you, his hand slipping from your wrist to hold your hand. “Oh. I meant what I said, Y/N. You don’t scare me.”

You smile softly. You don’t know how, but being with Sunghoon like this brings some sense of comfort to you. “Oh. Thank you, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon smiles softly. It’s the first real smile you’ve seen on his face since this whole Zombie situation began. Warmth settles in your stomach and your shoulders sag, the weight you were carrying around slides off. “Are you okay, Y/N? How are you feeling?”

You snort lightly. ”That’s like the third time you’ve asked me if I was okay.”

“I ask because I care, Y/N.”

“Oh. Sunghoon, I--” you stare at Sunghoon, unblinking. Your stomach feels weird. It’s way too loud in the recording booth and you want out. You slip your hand out of Sunghoon’s and push your face into your legs. Did Sunghoon know about your feelings? Or was he being honest? You couldn’t believe that you were at the beginning of a Zombie apocalypse and still thinking about Sunghoon and how much you liked him.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, sounding hesitant.

“I’m okay,” you mumble.

“Okay.” Awkward tension floats through the room. You don’t make any move to disperse the awkwardness and instead, you let it simmer.

“Right, I came in here because Sunoo told us the debate team was supposed to go on their annual school trip tomorrow, but obviously that isn’t going to happen, but in the classroom where they meet up, there’s a cupboard full of food and some water,” Sunghoon tells you and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk this hesitantly before.

You look back up at Sunghoon and instantly regret it because he’s so beautiful. “Oh. Okay. Do you have a plan yet? Am I even included in that plan? Because I can leave you all alone if you want. It might be easier since I’m probably a burden to you.”

Sunghoon stares at you. He stares at you for a long time that it becomes uncomfortable. “Do you think you’re a burden, Y/N?”

You shrug half-heartedly. “It’s easy to tell when I’m not wanted.”

“You’re wanted, Y/N,” Sunghoon says intently, his eyes never drifting away from yours.

You don’t say anything in response. How could that be true? It’s clear to see you’re a burden in the way the boys regard you, it’s clear to see you’re a burden in the way Jongseong talks to you, and it’s clear to see you’re a burden when you heard Jaeyun’s words.

“Y/N. .” Sunghoon says softly. You’ve never heard him speak like that before. It’s gentle like he’s coaxing a cat from underneath a car. It’s a comforting voice, one that makes you want to dive into and soak forever in. “You’re wanted.”

You scoff and look away, your heart tremors beneath your ribcage. Butterflies bloom and stick themselves to your gut. “How do I know you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

There’s a pause.

“Because I --” Sunghoon falters. His eyes slide away from your face and you feel your heart burn. “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”

“Right. Of course. Goodnight, Sunghoon.”

“Goodnight, Y/N. Sleep well.”

You don’t get any sleep that night.

—-

You’re allowed out of the recording booth when you wake up. You’re still regarded with caution, but you don’t care, you’re just glad to be out of the room. Sitting on the floor next to Sunoo, you listen to the conversation happening around you. They’re discussing a way to get to the debate room without alerting any Zombies to their presence.

“I have useful information if anyone wants to hear it,” Jaeyun says, raising his hand.

“What is it, Jaeyun?” Heeseung asks. “We’ll take anything at this point.”

“I think I know how to get past the Zombies.”

Everyone leans in and listens eagerly. “Sound attracts Zombies,” Jaeyun starts to explain. “And we’re in the broadcasting room. This is where the morning school announcements are made which means there are speakers all over school connected to this exact room. So, if we play a song, all the Zombies will move to wherever that sound is coming from. It’ll give us a clear path to the debate room.”

“I love it when you speak like that, Jaeyun,” Sunghoon comments, wearing a teasing smile. Seems like someone got a goodnight's sleep, you think bitterly to yourself. You were so sure Sunghoon was going to say something last night that was going to completely change your relationship. You were proven wrong, though.

“Someone needs to stay back though, right?” Riki asks, “because who will turn off the music?”

“I’m sure we can keep it going until it stops,” Sunoo pipes up.

“Yeah, but how will it stop?” Riki presses, “there’s no timer. It would keep on playing and we’d all go crazy.”

“I don’t think any of us should separate from the group,” Jungwon says firmly. “Separation is the last thing we want to do now.”

“What song should we play?” You ask, “because I suggest Red Velvet. Playing Zimzalabim would be so funny.”

Beside you, Sunoo giggles.

“I was gonna suggest Ring Ding Dong by SHINee,” Riki says, a wicked grin appearing.

“We’re immediately vetoing that idea,” Jongseong says, scowling in Riki’s direction.

“What about classical music?” Sunghoon asks, “that shit doesn’t get too repetitive, right? It’s just a bunch of instruments playing over and over again. No lyrics, just vibes.”

“No lyrics, just vibes,” Jongseong mimics and Sunghoon whacks him in retaliation.

“Let’s try to find some music, surely they have some in here,” Jaeyun says, standing up.

“First, I need to use the toilet,” Riki announces. “Should I pee out the window?” Riki earns disgusted groans in return and a small giggle from you.

“No. No peeing out of windows,” Jongseong says firmly. “We may be in an apocalypse but that doesn’t mean we don’t do our best to remain hygienic. We need to set up some kind of toilet, maybe in the recording booth? We’re not going to use it anymore, right?”

“I sure hope not,” you mutter, folding your arms over your chest. “Because there’s no way I’m going back in there under suspicion with it smelling like shit and piss.”

“The recording booth it is,” Jungwon says, “I did boy scouts when I was younger, let me build the toilet.”

“Me too!” Sunoo pipes up, eagerly pushing himself off the ground, “I was your group leader, remember Wonie?”

Jungwon’s smile is fond as he remembers his past memories, and together he and Sunoo begin to build the make-shift toilet. All around you, everyone falls into conversation to pass the time leaving you alone with your thoughts once more.

You begin to wonder how hard you had pushed Sunghoon to make a dent in the metal lockers to the left of you. In fact, you’re 100% certain you aren’t even that strong. You’re pretty weak so for you to be able to make a permanent mark on metal terrifies and oddly intrigues you -- what more can you do? Surely the small bit of blood on Suyeon’s that infected your bloodstream carries some kind of weird mutation causing you to be this way -- you hope you get answers soon because all this uncertainty is driving you insane.

“Get a good sleep, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, sitting down in front of you.

“Yeah. You?”

Sunghoon hums. “The best I could get.” There’s a lull in the conversation. You immediately think back to earlier in the recording booth -- you were so sure Sunghoon was going to confess, or something because the way he was looking at you, and the way he was phrasing his words, made you believe. It made you find hope in this bleak apocalypse. “How are you feeling?”

You give Sunghoon a deadpan look. “This question? Again?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “I think it’s warranted in a situation like this.”

You smile softly. “Yeah. I suppose. And I’m feeling a bit nervous because we don’t know what’s out there. I hope Jaeyun’s right. I hope this plan works. I hope --” you sigh heavily, your chin resting on your knee.

Sunghoon reaches forward and takes your hand into his. “We’ll make it, Y/N.”

“Okay,” Jungwon and Sunoo step out of the recording booth. “Who is first?”

“Y/N,” Sunghoon says loudly, “ladies first. People who need to shit go last.”

“Riki, you’re going last then!”

“Shut the fuck up Sunoo.”

It took quite a while for all seven boys to use the toilet. After numerous rock-paper-scissor games and fights, Heeseung left the recording booth with the nastiest look on his face. “When we make it to a safety zone you all better sleep with one eye open.”

“Even me?” You ask, pouting.

“They’ll call me Misogynist Heeseung.”

“Alright, Misogynist Heeseung, do the honors,” Jaeyun gestures to the booth, “go back in there and turn on the music.”

Heeseung hisses at Jaeyun and turns on his heel, taking a deep breath before entering the recording booth once more and turning on the classical music you’d found in one of the dented lockers. With the first note of Four Seasons playing, the school speakers become a target for the Zombies limping through the school grounds.

You, along with the others, watch out the window in awe. Jaeyun was right, Zombies are attracted to sound.

“It’s showtime,” Jongseong rolls his shoulders back and rolls his sleeves up. “I will do anything to make it to the room of treasures even if it means leaving you weaklings behind.”

It’s silent. Overwhelmingly silent.

“Sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Yeah,” Riki hums, “we all know you’d be the first to die.”

“We’re running out of time, let’s go already,” groans Sunoo heading over to the door. “I’m opening up this damn door and running all the way to the debate room. I am about to eat Y/N/’s hair.”

You touch your hair, frowning. “Why my hair? Why not Jaeyun’s?”

Sunoo shrugs. “First name that came to mind was yours. Okay, opening the door in 3. . 2. . 1 --”

“-- WAIT --”

Sunoo wrenches open the door.

Nothing happens.

There’s a pause in the music. And then it starts all over again.

The look Sunoo gives the rest of the group is one of pure jubilation. “Last one to the debate room is Zombie bait for our next mission!” And then he’s flying out the door, Jaeyun and Jongseong shouting after him.

“Do they think the music will drown out the noise they’re making?” Jungwon asks with a shake of his head. “Stupid. Idiots. All of them are.” He steps out the door, Heeseung following behind. Sunghoon reaches for your hand and smiles down at you. Behind you, Riki groans, “keep the heart eyes to a minimum around me, please.”

“Let’s go, Y/N.”

Stepping out, you stare around you in amazement. Zombies are desperately trying to reach for the speaker, climbing and standing on top of each other to try and satiate their hunger. At the end of the hallway stood the rest of the ground. Jaeyun was holding Sunoo by his collar.

“We have to climb up two flights of stairs,” Jungwon explains quietly, but loud enough for you to all hear over the music. “Be aware of your surroundings. There might be a few Zombies who haven’t gone towards the speakers.” With one final shared look, you begin your long ascent to the room full of food and water.

You were nearing the end. Sunghoon’s hand was tightly gripping yours and you could see your final destination in sight. You realized you truly had nothing to worry about because Jaeyun’s plan was foolproof --

And then you’re being yanked back by your hair.

With a loud shriek, you go flying backward, your hand losing Sunghoon’s. Pain explodes as you land on your back harshly. Standing above you with their hand still curled in your hair is Joon. The boy from the nurse’s office. His face is bloody and there’s a long cut down the middle of his face, the sight of it makes you retch. His eyes are the darkest black you’ve ever seen.

“Sunghoon!” You cry out, desperate to get away. Your stomach churns and you wonder why Joon specifically targeted you, and how Joon was still a functioning human. Reaching up, you try to pry Joon’s hands away from your hair, but he was too strong.

Snarling, the older boy yanks your head back harder, a harsh pulsing pain beats rapidly against your skull. Is this how you die?

“Joon?” Jake sounds astonished. “You’re alive?”

You had no clue what was going on. Fear creeps into your bloodline and sets your heart alight. You struggle in Joon’s grasp and cry out, a sob wrenching itself free from your throat. Maybe you didn’t want to die. Maybe you wanted to survive because there was still some hope deep within you that everything will be okay if you make it out of this alive. (Maybe you were feeling this hope because of Park Sunghoon.)

“Of course I’m alive, idiot,” sneers Joon, his hand tightening in your hair. “Why would they kill patient zero?”

You reach up and claw at Joon’s arm, your nails snagging his skin, cutting the boy open and he begins to bleed. “You’re such a bitch, Y/N,” Joon growls, his other hand wrapping around your neck and dragging you up from the ground, your breath hitching as you struggle to breathe.

“Let Y/N go, Joon,” Sunghoon demands, his eyes only focused on you. You feel pathetic, you’re unable to do anything -- you can’t even breathe. Maybe it would’ve been better if they left you in the broadcasting room.

“Why should I let her go?” Joon’s voice was close to your ear. You could practically taste the black blood spilling out of his mouth and onto your clothed shoulder. “She’s just like me. She’s another Zombie and you’re willingly keeping her in your group?”

“Zombie or not, let go of Y/N,” Sunghoon says, his voice low, and his eyes finally looking at Joon. He steps forward and then takes another step, and another, and another -- and then Joon snarls. It’s not loud enough to be heard over the music pouring out of the speakers, and yet, all the Zombies turn and focus their deadly black eyes on the group of seven boys, with Sunghoon in the front.

Terror floods your veins and you struggle in Joon’s grasp. You couldn’t let more people fall victim to Zombies because of you. With all eyes focused on the seven boys, a chill creeps up your spine. “One move,” Joon begins, his voice threateningly low, “and you’ll join them.”

Joon lets go of you and you instantly gasp for air, your chest heaving in delight. “You don’t believe me, do you?” Joon says, a hand reaching out to grip the back of your blouse. “Y/N’s a Zombie. The moment Suyeon’s blood entered her bloodstream, Y/N began to turn.”

“We locked her in the recording booth for a night,” Jungwon says, his eyes carefully passing over every Zombie looking at them with hungry black eyes, “nothing happened. Nothing changed.”

Joon laughs. It’s loud, but the Zombies don’t move. “But something did happen, didn’t it, Y/N?” He yanks you back towards him and you shriek, desperation filling your veins again. “What happened, Y/N?” His fingers curl through your hair, brushing it away from your face gently.

“I -- I pushed Sunghoon.” You struggle to speak, fear hindering your every move, and every word. “And he dented the lockers in the broadcasting room.”

Joon hums. “That’s an oddly inhumane amount of strength, don’t you think?”

“Please let me go,” you beg.

“Do you believe me now?” Joon asks, ignoring your begging.

“Y/N’s not a zombie,” Sunghoon says, and it sounds like he truly believes it.

“Sunghoon,” you whisper, crestfallen.

“Fine, I’ll make you believe.” Without warning, Joon’s hands settle on your chest and rip your blouse apart, your eyes widen and immediately your arms come up to cover your bare torso. One hand wraps around your neck while the other produces a knife. It’s one from the kitchen in the cafeteria and you’re paralyzed by fear.

“Watch me,” Joon growls, “or I’ll kill Y/N.”

Seven sets of eyes settle on your bare body and if this was any other circumstance you would blush. You look at Sunghoon again and it’s hard to make out what he’s feeling as he stares back at you. You want to say something to him, you want to comfort him, you want to tell him to run and leave you here, but you don’t. You feel the cool touch of a blade against your abdomen, settled just beneath your bra, and then you’re being cut open, the blade digging into your skin and you cry out.

A long line is cut into your abdomen and blood flows out of the cut. It’s dark red and it matches the blood already on your hands. You collapse to the ground once Joon lets go of you and you continue to cry, the pain overwhelming. You push your hands against the wound to stop the bleeding but to no avail.

You were dying and no one was helping you. It was a picture-perfect scenario because you did nothing to help Seeun. “I’m sorry,” you whisper to the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” And then, little by little, the pain lessens. Little by little, you stop bleeding. Little by little, the cut on your abdomen heals itself.

Grabbing you roughly by the hair, Joon forces you up and your hands away from your now-healed cut. “Do you believe me now?”

You look over at Sunghoon. His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly ajar. You don’t dare look at anyone else. For the final time, Joon lets go of you and you collapse back onto the ground. Your head pounds and your upper body feels overwhelmingly hot. “I’ll be back,” Joon warns. “This is only a warning.” He snarls again, and every Zombie in the hallway trails after him, their black beady eyes never leaving the group of seven boys.

“Y/N,” Sunghoon says, darting forward. He rushes to your side, crouching down in front of you and reaching out. You quickly back away, tears pouring down your cheeks as you keep your head down and arms wrapped around yourself.

“Leave me alone Sunghoon,” you say, your voice thick with tears. “I’m a Zombie, don’t you understand?”

“Y/N, look at me,” Sunghoon says softly, he takes off his blazer and covers you with it. “Zombie or not I still want you with me.” Hesitatingly, he reaches out to brush strands of hair behind your ear. He then cups your cheek and his thumb brushes your cheek. “Come on, Y/N, I bet you’re hungry.”

“Yeah, for brains,” you mutter under your breath, angry at the world. Looking back up, you see Sunghoon smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You feel shy beneath Sunghoon’s gaze.

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Sunghoon answers, “Jongeong’s brain can be the first to get eaten.”

—-

You reach the classroom that holds all of the debate club’s food and water for the trip they were supposed to take today. Your eyes stare at the food stacked up, and the water lying on the ground. You felt like you were in heaven.

Jaeyun’s the first to move. He darts forward, swipes the Home Run Balls, and the rest follow, squabbling over who gets what. Sunghoon nudges you. “What do you want, Y/N?”

“I don’t know,” you answer, hugging Sunghoon’s blazer tighter around you

Sunghoon smiles and steps into the cupboard. A few seconds later he reappears with a chocolate bar and water. “Here, you’ll probably need a lot of water after what happened, Y/N. And chocolate just because everyone loves chocolate.” After handing you the water and chocolate bar, Sunghoon takes some snacks for himself and leads you over to some chairs.

You both eat silently, letting the loud yet quiet voices of the others fill up the silence. You didn’t know what to say -- what were you supposed to say after a situation like that? You feel Sunghoon’s shoulder brush your’s and you instantly become aware of how close he is.

“Sunghoon?” You ask hesitantly.

Sunghoon glances over at you, humming slightly. His stare pins you to your seat. He still looks beautiful, you think to yourself, like a star. He still looks like he was hand crafted from heaven above, and he still looks so out of your league. No matter the time, no matter the place, no matter the situation, the answer will always be the same; Sunghoon will never be yours. He’s destined for things bigger than your small village, and he’s destined for someone better than you. And yet --

And yet he’s sitting next to you.

And yet his school-issued blazer is wrapped around your body.

(You remember bringing Park Sunghoon up to your mother one night. She laughs and shakes her head, finishing dishing the takeaway chicken she bought after work onto your plate. “Park Sunghoon, that boy is destined to be a star, Y/N.”

He’s out of your league is unsaid. You’re no good for him is unsaid.

“There’s no point loving someone like that, Y/N,” your mother warns gently. “He’s a star. And you know how bright they shine.”)

If this is how a star shines, you think, eyes trailing over Sunghoon, then I want him in every way possible.

“Thank you,” you say, smiling slightly.

“For what?”

You shrug and glance away from Sunghoon.

“Ah,” Sunghoon can read between the lines. He reaches for your hand and squeezes. “I’d do it again, Y/N.”

“Sunghoon?” You turn back to him. “You’d do what again?”

Sunghoon’s ears burn red. “Don’t make me say it, Y/N.”

You grip Sunghoon’s hand tightly. You don’t want to let this moment slip away like last time in the darkness of the broadcasting club’s recording booth. “Sunghoon,” you say, your eyes hold the unspoken desperation.

There’s a scrape of a chair being pushed back, and then Jongseong’s voice echoes through the room. No, you think, no, no no, this can’t be happening.

The moment is over. Sunghoon’s hand falls from your grip and you watch him slip away from you for the second time. You reach after him, but you capture nothingness.

“We need a phone,” Jongseong says, “and we need it now.”

The music flowing through the speakers shut off. An unsettling chill lingers in the room and everyone’s thinking the same thing; Joon. “We need a phone,” Jongseong repeats, “any ideas?”

Looks are shared and nothing is said. Jongseong groans, “come on. Give me something to work with here!”

“My phone,” Riki says, “it’s in Mrs. Jang’s room.”

Jaeyun snorts in amusement. “Now how did that happen, Riki?”

Riki scowls. “Apparently learning English is more important than Alice in Borderland.”

“Okay, and how far away is Mrs. Jang’s room?” Jongseong asks, looking slightly more alive ever since Riki’s announcement.

“Since we’re in the debate club’s meeting room,” Sunoo thinks aloud, “the floor beneath us.”

Jongseong looks at Riki and scowls. “And you didn’t let us know any sooner? We literally walked past her room on the way here, Riki! And Joon is probably there waiting for us!”

“No one asked,” Riki answered, “so I didn’t provide.”

“You’re going to be the reason for my death, mark my words.” Jongseong’s eyes fall on you and you feel uncomfortable. “Y/N. Joon can somehow command the Zombies to do whatever he wants, can’t you do that? Y’know, considering you’re like, half Zombie-half human or some shit like that.”

It’s a weird silence you sit in after Jongseong’s remark. “I mean. . It’s cool if you can’t though,” Jongseong chuckles awkwardly. You find you quite like this situation; Jongseong awkward beneath your bland stare, it’s a situation that should happen more often.

“Speaking of,” Heeseung pipes up, “shouldn’t we talk about what happened back there?”

“What is there to speak about?” Jungwon asks, “Y/N is a Zombie. But she’s also a human.”

“Clearly,” Heeseung responds, “we should also find Y/N a shirt, but what about Joon? How he came to be. . . That, is unknown and what he said? ‘Patient zero’? Isn’t that at least a little bit concerning?”

“Obviously Joon and Suyeon were some experiment,” Sunoo says, “gone wrong. And now everyone is paying the consequence.”

“Someone was probably trying to make a superhuman,” Jaeyun jokes, his eyes sparkling, “Y/N and Joon have enhanced strength, which is super cool, and Y/N even has enhanced healing! I would suspect Joon does too, but from his appearance. . I don’t think so.”

“Superhuman,” Jongseong mutters under his breath like it was the missing piece to a puzzle.

“Boring. Let’s talk about this later,” Riki says suddenly, “it’s getting dark. Who volunteers as tribute to go and grab my phone? It has a pink sparky case and a small little Yuuji sticker on it. From Jujutsu Kaisen. I say let Y/N go. She can self-heal and can push people off her and into lockers.” Riki winces after being on the receiving end of many glares. “Too soon for jokes?”

“It’s okay, Riki,” you wave him off, too tired to involve yourself into this conversation. “Wake me up when you make your decision, I’m feeling sleepy.”

“Right, of course,” Jaeyun hums, “obviously there are side effects. You can sleep, Y/N, we’ll make sure nothing disturbs you!”

You smile at Jaeyun, thankful.

——

When you come to, it’s pitch black. The only light source is a yellow-tinged light shining on Jungwon and Sunoo who are seated together and whispering to each other. The light is sourced from a flashlight, how they acquired said flashlight is unknown.

Sunoo catches your movements and beckons you over. You shuffle over to the two boy and carefully take a seat beside Sunoo, scared to wake up the sleeping bodies lying around the room. “Sleep well? Feeling any better, Y/N?” Sunoo’s words are kind, and his gaze is kinder.

“It was a good sleep. I’m feeling much more energized.”

“That’s good,” Jungwon says, “because Sunghoon’s the one who went to search for the phone.”

You stop breathing. “What?”

“He left an hour ago and he’s not back,” Jungwon informs you, the yellow-tinged light shining on Jungwon’s face makes the boy look older than he actually is. “Heeseung always says to not think of the worst, but I’m thinking of the worst right now.”

Images of Sunghoon lying on the ground in a puddle of his own blood flash through your mind. Images of Sunghoon as a Zombie flash through your mind. Images of Sunghoon with Joon’s hands wrapped around him flash through your mind. You can’t let Sunghoon slip through your grasp for the third and final time. You need Sunghoon safe and you’ve never needed anything this desperately before.

“I’ll go find him,” you say to Jungwon, your words oddly sounding like a goodbye. And a promise.

“Y/N --” Sunoo starts.

“Sunoo,” you cut him off. “Let me do this. Let me not feel like a burden for once.”

“Okay,” Sunoo whispers, “okay.”

You rise to your feet and pad over to the door. “Y/N,” Sunoo hisses through the dark, “be safe.”

You want to laugh at Sunoo’s words. Your palm touches the cool handle of the door and you gently slide it open, cold air from the hallway rushing into the room behind you. You begin to feel uneasy and goosebumps spread across your skin as you step out of the warm classroom and into the unknown. The last thing you see as you shut the classroom door is Jongseong staring at you.

You don’t know what to expect as you slowly walk down the dark hallway that’s only illuminated by the night sky. The moon and the stars hang above you, unintentionally guiding you to where Park Sunghoon lay. Keeping your hands pressed close to your chest and your eyes focused on your surroundings, you do your best to not bring attention to yourself by any means -- one noise and it’s all over for you. You wander down a familiar hallway that has become unfamiliar and you truly begin to question how this all happened; how easily your hometown succumbed to a Zombie apocalypse.

A loud bang shakes you out of your thoughts. It came from inside the classroom next to you and terror floods your senses. You hold your hands tighter against your chest and try to even out your breathing. There’s another bang and you quickly stride past the classroom, making your footfalls as quiet as possible.

Everything felt so off; not a single Zombie roaming down the hallway you were in, not a single Zombie chasing you down -- you were expecting the worst would come when you find Sunghoon. Your heart races at the thought of something bad happening to Sunghoon. You don’t want anything bad to happen to Sunghoon, he’s the only good thing you have left in your life right now.

You pad down the steps and enter the hallway Riki’s phone was supposed to be on. Here, you finally see the Zombies you were looking for. A sudden cold chill lays itself over your skin as you dare to enter the hallway crowded with Zombies.

Even though you know you shouldn’t, you hold your breath as you maneuver around the Zombies in complete silence. Sometimes, they let out random groans and it frightens you, but you keep your terrified shrieks contained within you. One single noise and you’re a goner.

You reach Ms. Jang’s office and a Zombie is blocking the door. Inhaling quietly, you step around the Zombie and reach for the cold silver doorknob. As you twist the doorknob it makes a shrill sound and you halt, not daring to move another inch. The Zombie right next to you lets out a groan and steps closer to you, their arm brushing yours and suddenly they’re latching onto your arm.

You can’t help it and cry out, ripping yourself out of the Zombie’s grasp and throwing yourself at the door. Growls fill the air and the Zombie in front of you begins to sniff, seeking out a smell. You could smell the death on the Zombie and begin to pray that this isn’t how your life ends -- you don’t want to be a Zombie because what happens then? You become Zombie and then what? Where does your soul go? Your conscious?

A tear trails down your cheek and the Zombie is stepping away, wandering back down the hallway and leaving you pressing up against the door, your hand curled around the doorknob. Without hesitation, you open the door and jump inside, letting the door shut gently behind you.

The first thing you see is Park Sunghoon lying on the ground, unresponsive -- but breathing. Immediately, you drop to your knees and shake the boy, “Sunghoon,” you whisper, not liking the odds of this situation. There’s a cut on his temple that’s bleeding. “Fuck sake. Sunghoon!” Your shaking gets more aggressive as each second passes and Sunghoon doesn’t shoot up, gasping for breath.

Desperate times call for desperate measures so you slap Sunghoon. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to get out of this action, but it certainly wakes Sunghoon up. His eyes fly open and his hand comes up to clutch his cheek. Scrambling to sit up, Sunghoon looks at you with wide eyes. “Did you just slap me?”

“What? Was I supposed to kiss you awake?”

It’s silent for a moment. “I mean. I wouldn’t have been opposed to a kiss, Y/N.”

You glare at Sunghoon and slap his bicep. “You are such an idiot! Why were you unconscious? And why are you bleeding? Sunghoon, what happened? We were -- I was worried.”

“Y/N, you -- you were worried?” Sunghoon asks, a little breathless.

You scowl and slap Sunghoon’s bicep again. “Are you even listening to me? What happened?”

“I got scared and fell over, hitting my head on the way down,” Sunghoon explains sheepishly. “I did dream of you saving me though, Y/N.”

“Dork. You’re a fucking clumsy dork, did you know that, Sunghoon?”

“A dork for you,” grins Sunghoon and you push him away, falling onto your bum and feeling hot, taken aback from Sunghoon’s sudden flirty nature.

“Consider us even, then,” you say, “you saved me and now I’m here to save you.”

Sunghoon’s smile is soft, a small dimple peeking in the curve of his cheek. “I have Riki’s phone, though, you ready to go?”

“What about your temple?” You gesture to Sunghoon’s head, “you’re bleeding, Sunghoon.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll patch it up later. I don’t know about you, but I still feel uneasy being by ourselves and separated from the group. It’s better we get back quickly before Joon sniffs us out.”

You hum and stand up, holding out your hand for Sunghoon to take. His hand is warm in yours and you ignore the gentle squeeze he gives your hand as you pull open the door slowly. “Remember, be quiet,” you whisper to Sunghoon.

“Of course, Y/N.”

You both step out into the darkness.

The sight that awaits you both is unexpected. Suyeon’s body is sprawled out in the middle of the hallway, her eyes falling out of their sockets and her head smashed in. You immediately avert your eyes as your stomach lurches.

“Oh shit,” Sunghoon hisses, “her throat was slit. Gross. Do you think it was Joon who did this?” Sunghoon’s question is answered soon enough as Ahn Yujin steps out of the shadows, her black hair falling across her shoulders angellically, and bloody covering her hands and splattered across her face. In one of her bloodied hands, she holds a knife. “Oh shit,” Sunghoon repeats, but this time more terrified.

No words are spoken as Yujin charges towards you and as you push Sunghoon away. You weren’t going to let someone else die because of you. You willingly let Yujin’s knife enter your body as she flings her body into yours. You crash into a wall behind you and you hiss in pain, which turns into a bloody cough.

“Y/N!” Sunghoon calls out, but you ignore him.

“Yujin,” you croak, seeing humanity left in her eyes, “Yujin. Don’t do this.” You already know the stab wound is futile, you could feel your wound healing around the knife still stuck in your body. It’s a weird sensation, one you can’t describe.

Yujin twists the knife and you cry out, your hand reaching for Yujin’s hair you tug hard, momentarily taking the girl off guard. You push her away and rip the knife out of your stomach, blood splattering the ground and you hear Sunghoon gasp.

Yujin growls and charges again. You muster up all the strength you have and backhand her, flinging Yujin into the wall. There’s a loud crack and Yujin slumps to the ground, blood trailing down the wall to her slumped figure, her head hanging.

You reach for Sunghoon’s hand again. “Let’s go.” Sunghoon doesn’t hesitate and you both fly down the hallway, not caring if you were loud enough for the Zombies to find you.

—-

To stay the other’s were surprised that you didn’t come back with just Sunghoon and Riki’s phone would be an understatement. The bloodied knife was handed off to Heeseung, and Jungwon had simply sighed, shaking his head. “We really need to get you a new top, Y/N,” Jongseong says, “maybe like a whole pack because you like ruining clothes, don’t you?”

“It’s not like I chose to be stabbed,” you huff bitterly.

In the midst of all of this, Riki falls to his knees and cries out. Instantly, you all fear the worst. “What? What happened, Riki?” Jaeyun asks, his eyes wide and his hand coming to pet Riki’s head. “Is everything okay?”

“My Yuuji sticker!” Riki cries, “it’s not here!”

Sunoo mimics strangling the boy with wild gestures and Sunghoon snorts. “That sucks, but we got a phone for a reason. Don’t let me going unconscious for a few minutes and Y/N getting stabbed by some psycho girl to all go to vain.”

“It wasn’t a few minutes, Sunghoon!” You exclaim, whacking the boy again, “it was an hour!”

“It felt like minutes to me,” Sunghoon shrugs, “though I would love to wake up to your face more often.” The silence that follows after that declaration is awkward.

“Right,” Jungwon says, ripping Riki’s phone out of the crying boy’s hands. “Let’s see what the internet is saying, shall well?” A few seconds later Jungwon is groaning, “why is everything in Japanese? Jongseong? A little help?”

“But it’s Riki’s --” Jongseong cuts himself off as he looks at the unresponsive, crying boy curled up on the ground and Jaeyun hovering beside him awkwardly. “Right.”

“Well?” Sunoo says after a few seconds of silence, “what does it say?”

“It’s loading, Sunoo, patience,” Jongseong snaps, glaring at the younger.

“Old people are so slow,” Sunoo moans.

“You brat --”

“Translate for us, Jongseong,” Jungwon cuts off the older boy, thrusting the phone into his grasp.

Jongseong’s eyes trail over the phone screen in front of him. “Well, the electricity and power and phone service is getting cut off in twenty-one hours.” A heavy silence settles over the group, “so, that means we’ll have no contact to the outside world in twenty-one hours.”

“Well that fucking sucks,” Sunghoon mumbles from next to you.

“Hurry up then, Jongseong,” Sunoo rushes, “see who is still alive. And where the nearest quarantine zone is. I want to get out of here and see my family!”

“Alright, alright,” Jongseong sighs, “get comfortable, it’s going to be a long night. Did you happen to bring a charger with you, Sunghoon? Y/N?”

The two of you share a look. “Uh. . We were supposed to?” Sunghoon replies.

“Airhead. We have two fucking airheads in this group,” Jongseong grumbles and Jungwon comforts him with a look of amusement.

Ignoring Jongseong, you take Sunghoon’s hand into yours again. “Let’s get you patch up, dork, where’s the first aid kit again, Heeseung?” After Heeseung points you in the direction of the first aid kit, and you settle onto the floor a bit away from the group with Sunghoon, you get to work on cleaning up the cut to Sunghoon’s temple.

“How clumsy are you, Sunghoon?” You mutter, slightly amused. “How were you able to hit your head that hard?”

“I get scared easily!” Sunghoon defends himself, pouting slightly. “You would too! Being all alone, surrounded by Zombies and with the threat of a murdererous weird Zombie-person running around hanging over your head!”

You snort and shake your head, tilting Sunghoon’s head to the side slightly. “But,” Sunghoon continues, his voice more softer. “Thank you. For saving me. Twice. The slap wasn’t nice, though.”

“I was desperate, okay,” You say, scowling, “and worried. And concerned -- you weren’t waking up, Sunghoon.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize Sunghoon. This might hurt.”

Sunghoon hisses and you send him a smile in apology. “You care about me, Y/N?”

“Of course I do,” you mutter, “you are all I have left. And the others.”

“But mostly me?” Sunghoon smiles a cheeky smile and you scowl, purposefully pushing down on his cut harder.

“Don’t push it, Park.”

Sunghoon reaches up and pinches your waist, making your yelp in surprise. “Sunghoon! I’m cleaning your wound! Don’t make me make it worse on purpose!”

Sunghoon laughs. It’s the laugh you’ve been dying to hear ever since you were fourteen. His smile is wide across his and his eyes crinkle up. He really shines like a star in moments like these. You can’t help but smile, it’s all soft and fond, and love is what makes your smile curve wider. He’s a star that’s shining for you.

“I like it when you laugh, Sunghoon,” you blurt.

Sunghoon holds eye contact with you for what feels like the longest time. “I like it when you smile, Y/N. And I like it when you get so focused your tongue pokes out of your mouth. And I like it when you blow your hair out of your face. And I like your eyes, especially when you’re laughing and I -- I just like you, Y/N.” Hesitancy spreads across Sunghoon’s face and he averts his eyes, cheeks turning a soft red. “I know this is all sudden but -- but you’re not a burden, Y/N, and I hope you don’t think of yourself as one. I care about you, Y/N, and I want you with me, Y/N, that what I wanted to say that night in the recording booth. If I didn’t want you with me, then I wouldn’t have pulled you away when I did.”

The cold, jarring truth strikes you. Sunghoon could’ve left you to die, but he didn’t.

“I want you with me, Y/N, all the time,” Sunghoon admits, more certain of himself now. “So, thank you. For saving me. For patching me up. For being with me.”

“How could I not?” You respond, shaking your head and laughing breathlessly, “you’re all I think about.”

“Y/N --”

“I wasn’t joking when I said you were all I had left. Seeun’s a Zombie and my mother probably is too.” Your voice quivers and you sniff, Sunghoon’s stare getting too intimate for you, so you glance at a spot over his shoulder. “Please don’t leave me either, because I don’t plan on leaving you.”

“Y/N,” Sunghoon whispers, “why would I ever leave you?”

That’s all it takes for you to dissolve into a sea of tears. Sunghoon wraps you up into his arms and holds you close to his chest, his hand gliding through your hair, over the nape of your neck, and down your back.

“Y/N,” Sunghoon cups your chin and tilts your head up, wiping your tears away, his eyes soothe you. “I know this might be a bad time, but there’s nothing better than the present. Can I kiss you? I’ve always wanted to kiss you, did you know that?”

Your heart skips a beat. All the air is knocked out of your lungs. Sunghoon is a star. He’s unbelievable. He makes wishes ceom true. “Sunghoon,” you whisper, “you don’t even have to ask.”

Sunghoon kisses you and the world explodes. His lips are warm. Everything about Sunghoon is warm. He makes you feel warm. He makes you feel special. Sunghoon makes you feel less alone. Sunghoon settles you onto his lap, an arm slipping around your waist while the other cradles the back of your head. He keeps you close to his chest as your mouths move.

Maybe suriving the apocalypse is worth it since it brought you to the exact moment; Sunghoon kissing you.

“Wait,” Sunghoon’s pulling away, sounding breathless, “you like me too, right?”

You giggle. “I like you too, dork,” and you pull him back in for a kiss.

—-

Having a phone works wonders. Jongseong finds out where the nearest quarantine zone is, and he finds out that the apocalypse has spread throughout your small province. Jongseong also found out damning news; in forty eight hours, the school and everything around it would be blown up by bombs dropped from the skies above.

“We need to move quickly,” Jungwon addresses the group. “Today, we need to leave the school and get to the forest. From there, we’ll hopefully have some cover, and be able to reach the zone a couple hours before the bombs are expected to drop, but we have to move quickly.”

“I will move the quickest out of anyone in the group,” Sunoo proclaims confidently. “I want to get out of this hell hole.”

So with the first rays of sunlight peeking through, you and the seven boys move out of the classroom, a backpack strapped to Heeseung and Jungwon’s backs full of enough food and water to make the eight of you last the two day journey.

“At the first sign of Joon, just run,” Heeseung tells the group gravely, “we don’t have time to engage with him. He’ll be blown up shortly anyway.”

As you pass through the hallway where you were stabbed by Yujin, your hand in Sunghoon’s warm embrace, you find her body missing. You share a glance with Sunghoon but neither of you point it out the rest of the group, not wanting to unsettle the happy mood everyone was in today.

Today was full of luck. Everyone was silent and you were all able to easily slip past Zombies. The knife you hold in your free hand didn’t need to be used. Your new t-shirt was bright white and clear of blood. It made you feel good, feeling slightly clean.

You reach the school gym in no time, finding it clear of all Zombies. There, you decide to take a rest, and Jungwon decides to call Kang Taehyun. The dialing tone rings throughout the gym and it’s picked up seconds before the last dial tone rings.

“Riki?” Taehyun asks in disbelief.

“Taehyun,” Jungwon cries out, tears welling in his eyes. “You’re okay.”

“Won,” Taehyun repeats, still in disbelief. “You’re okay? Oh my god, what about the other’s --” a loud clamor takes over Taehyun’s side of the phone. You hear the familiar voices of Yeonjun, and Soobin, and Beomgyu, and Kai. The boys on Jungwon’s side of the phone all crowd around the phone and everything is a mess. (A happy mess, you think.)

After the phone call ends with promises of seeing enach other soon, Jungwon looks over at you. “Y/N? Do you have anyone to call?”

You smile and shake your head. “I have no one, Jungwon.”

“Oh, sorry I asked,” Jungwon seems a little embarrassed and you laugh him off with a wave of your hand.

“It’s okay. Thank you for asking, though.”

“You have us, Y/N,” Sunoo says with a smile. “You’ll always have us, now. Our bond is thicker than blood!”

You laugh, “thank you, Sunoo. I’m glad I have you.”

—-

It rains that night. It pours, but Jungwon doesn’t let up. Loud thunder booms through the sky and the lightning lights up the darkness. You continue to creep around the Zombies in silence, the storm masking any loud noise you make. The storm was a blessing in disguise.

You had entered the forest a few hours ago but none of you had wanted to stop, especially as it began to rain. You all wanted to reach the quarantine zone desperately, already tired from all the running and surviving you had been doing.

Sunghoon squeezes your hand. “Are you doing okay, Y/N?” His voice was close to your ear.

You squeeze back. “Yeah!” You shout over the storm, and that’s when you somehow catch a glimpse of it. A white ribbon. Your breathe stutters and you stumble over, Sunghoon keeping you upright. “Seeun,” you breathe. She moves carelessly through the forest, stumbling over like many of the Zombies you had seen do before. You face the truth you had subconsciously been denying this whole time; Seeun’s a Zombie.

Slipping out of Sunghoon’s grasp and ignoring everyone’s loud calls, you walk over to Seeun. You need to see her one last time. You need to say your apologies one last time, and if you die trying, then so be it. You reach within an arms length distance of Seeun and watch her stumble about quietly. “I’m sorry,” you shout over the storm. “I’m sorry, Seeun.”

She turns towards you and snarls, stumbling forward and stopping in front of you. She copies the movements of the Zombie who you stood face-to-face with in front of Ms. Jang’s office. She sniffs the surrounding area of your body, and then turns away. She lets you live, like that other Zombie did.

Turning back around, your eyes meet Sunghoon’s and the sympathy he holds make tears slip down your cheeks. No one says anything when you return to the group and stick yourself to Sunghoon’s side.

The further you all went into the city you grew up in, the further reality sinks in. Zombies fill every nook and cranny, and the loneliness of the city makes your skin crawl. You all push on, and your eventually have to begin to hide and use your knife as the Zombies become more ruthless and pick up on every small sound.

You grow tired, but you still push on. With Sunghoon beside you, holding you and keeping you safe every step of the way provides you with the strength and energy to push on.

“Would you believe me if I said I was looking for you that day, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks during one of your short breaks, his finger twirling your hair.

“I don’t know. Were you?” You respond, smiling.

“Well. I was looking for any sign of an adult, and also for weapons, but when I saw you, Y/N, all I thought about was keeping you alive and safe.”

You melt against Sunghoon, your head resting on his shoulder. “I like you a lot, Sunghoon,” you whisper, “and maybe if we weren’t in a situation like this, we could be going on a date right now.”

“What kind of date?” Sunghoon asks, oddly interested.

“We’d go ice skating,” you say, “because you’re good at ice skating and I’m shit. You would help me skate, and we’d hold hands, and then we’d go eat something warm and spicy. You’ll make me laugh, and I’ll make you laugh, then you’ll take me home and kiss me goodnight.”

Sunghoon kisses you temple. He doesn’t say anything and you just bask in the silence and the warmth of Sunghoon. “That’s if either of us confessed,” Sunghoon says, “because I don’t think I would’ve ever confessed.”

“Me either,” you admit. “You felt so out of my league, and I never had your attention, so the thought of confessing frightened me.”

Sunghoon laughs and you peer up at him, perplexed. “What’s so funny?”

“You always had my attention, Y/N,” Sunghoon says, and he kisses you.

—-

You reach the quarantine zone and you’re met with guns pointed at you. With your hands raised, you all shuffle into a line and are being tested with a thermometer device. It’s raining again and you shiver, missing the warmth of Sunghoon’s hand holding yours.

“What are you doing?” Jongseong asks the soldier.

“A colder temperature means you’re a Zombie,” the soldier informs Jongseong.

“But what if someone is sick?” Jongseong asks, “then what if you’re leaving someone out to die?”

The soldier smiles, but it isn’t a nice smile. “Would you like me to show you what happens when this thing identifies a Zombie, and then what we do after?”

Jongseong’s immediately shaking his head.

Sunghoon’s herded into the zone before you, and the smile he sends you is a sweet one. It calms you down as only thoughts of Joon’s words fill your head. You hope you’re able to pass this test. You hope you’re able to live a relatively normal with Sunghoon by your side.

But, luck runs out at some point.

A high pitched squealng sound emits from the thermometer device and the world shifts and everything happens at once.

“She’s a Zombie!” The soldier yells, raising his gun and pointing it at you.

“Y/N!” Sunghoon shouts, running to you, his arms wrapping you up as more soldiers swarm the area. “Y/N, everything will be okay, the device probably made a mistake, they just need to do it again --”

“Sunghoon.” You cut him off.

“No,” he says, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you said you wouldn’t leave me.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Sunghoon,” you admit, “but I have to.”

“How are you so calm about this?” Sunghoon asks, his voice low, “I feel so desperate, Y/N, I feel desperate enough to kill --”

“I was expecting the worst, Hoon.”

Sunghoon stares at you. There are so many emotions flooding his face, your stomach churns. Suddenly, he’s ripped away from you and he struggles, calling out your name. “Y/N! I love you! I love you, and I’d save you again. I’d save you again and again if I had the choice.”

You did your best to keep your tears at bay. You couldn’t have them falling over now. You couldn’t cry. You had to remain strong, even with a gun pointed at your head.

Sunghoon breaks free from the soldier’s grasp and flings himself into your embrace again, clutching you close.

The rain falls harder, soaking you both to the bone.

“Y/N, I love you,” he kisses you so passionately and desperately it makes your heart break. “And I’ll come for you. I’ll find you, Y/N, I promise. I promise that once I find you, I’ll take you ice skating and catch you every time you fall.”

“Of course you will,” you laugh as the tears begin to fall. “You’ll always catch me, no matter what, Hoon.”

“And we’ll be the happiest people on earth, Y/N.”

“Of course we will, Hoon,” you say softly, cupping Sunghoon’s face, “you will always make me the happiest.”

Sunghoon’s ripped away from you and you instantly shiver, the cold overwhelming you. “I’ll find you, Y/N!” Sunghoon shouts, his words tearing your heart apart. “I promise I will!”

You watch as Sunghoon and the rest of the six boys are pulled away from view. You refuse to look at the others because it’ll only break your heart more.

A gun is pointed at your head.

You close your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper to whoever is listening. “Please forgive me.”

author’s note, well that was wild and crazy and goofy and im sorry if the pacing seems rushed but i wrote most of this at 1/2/3am when i was tired and sad and completely delusional. there are lots of unanswered plot points like omg what happened to joon?? and suyeon?? and yujin?? why was she so crazy🤣🤣 and how did the infection start?? and did y/n really die?? and i left some of those points unanswered in case i ever decide to write a part two in the future..Gasp😨😨 anyway. i hope u enjoyed reading this mess. i hope u love it😆😆

bite me (l. hs)

preview. “I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him. 

“I’m gonna teach you how to seduce Jay.”

“How?” You fret, swallowing the dry itch away from your throat as he leans in close enough to feel the fan of his next breath caress your Cupid’s bow. 

“For starters, come kiss me.” 

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader

genre. non-traditional a/b/o AU, pwp, M/F, pinch of fluff(..sigh..), heavy amount of smut, inexperienced y/n warnings. profanity, morally grey characterization(Heeseung), somewhat bimbo y/n, sneaking around, manipulation, jealousy, possessive behavior, more warnings under the cut. minors DNI.

wc. 20k

now playing. bite me//enhypen taglist. @multifandomfantasies @lvufran @sum1zzz @cambo-backwards @jjk-97 @abcdefgheeseung @luvkpop @yoursjaeyun @t1nywoniee @seuomo @inkrosie @pretty-pretty-ela @enhawinnieee @starggukies @4imhry @heedeungieluvbot @yuzuhas-gf @euniceruiz11 @rxveriex @hanjisunglover @tae1gi @axmdocs @kpophorsnyhore @shinrjj @unfortunatelyaware @loviseamms @mimimovv @jayjjrnls @koushikou @hanversace @enmayz @beomibeom @zerasari @katarinamae @multifandomeras @eleven23 @rayofsunshineeee @cha0thicpisces @maein25 @blogisabelleberubeblr @hoyeonhee @yohanabanana @writeraera @sivoua @aquamarinexxx @choisoobinsbunnygf

smut warnings. dubious consent but consented(more so sexual coercion at first), fingering, oral, throat fucking, praise/degradation, Heeseung has subby moments but mostly dominates, spanking, rough unprotected sex, slick, heat sex, breeding, cum inflation, knotting, biting. a big horny mess, enjoy🖤

Summer time means everyone hangs out at your house, staying up late, blasting music loud enough to piss the neighbors off, leaving chlorine foot tracks stamped around the backyard concrete. The smell of sunscreen and alcohol your brother used to have to sneak out of your parents bar combined with confectionery sweets after running to catch the ice cream truck melting beneath sweltering heat, remnants of barbecue ash and fire logs; the few things you dreamt of more and more as the semester’s end approached.

Summer time used to mean longingly staring from your bedroom window as your brother would scream and laugh with his friends and various girls that would pass through, the house reeking of all types of pheromones after; making it obvious when he threw parties even after your parents would forbid it.

But this summer will be different, because you’re finally ready to make a move on your long-time crush. Ideally you would prefer for him to approach you first, but the thing is…

Jay’s too cool. To begin with, he’s hardly ever acknowledged your existence other than being Jake’s younger sister. He may think you’re too naive, innocent, maybe even weird with the amount of times he’s caught you staring at him wistfully, but everything would change soon.

As Jay sits on the ledge of the pool dousing his skin in sun oil, you can’t stop yourself from staring, albeit doing your best to remain inconspicuous behind the poolhouse while pretending to browse for your favorite towel. Staring at people is rude, you remind yourself, but your intentions aren’t..

“You know he hates how you do that.” Large palms come around your waist, dipping lower to pinch at your sides causing you to jump up straight in surprise.

“Heeseung!” You hiss, smacking his prodding fingers away. “What do you mean by that?? Hates when I do what?”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung motions back and forth between his eyes and the direction where Jay sits. “Stare much?”

“I’m not staring at him!” You quickly mutter, grabbing whatever towel to cover yourself up with. “Besides I—- wait, what do you mean he hates it when I do that?!”

Breaking into a grin he reaches to pull the ends of the towel hanging from your shoulders closer, hugging the warm cotton around you. “You’re not good at this whole secret crush thing are you?”

“It’s..” you grouch, pursing your lips annoyed. “I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

“A cute little pup love.” Heeseung taps your nose. “Pup.”

“Don’t call me that.” You fuss, smacking his hands away once again. “Has Jay ever said anything about me staring or something?”

Heeseung hums, rubbing at his chin sarcastically. “I mean, yeah..”

“Really??”

He laughs, pinching your cheek softly. “Calm down pup, he’s definitely mentioned before something about ‘Jake’s little sister stares too much.’”

“Oh..”

“Don’t think too much about it, pup.” Throwing an arm around your shoulder, he nods, pinching your chin to look at him. “It’s natural wolf instinct is all. You’re an Omega now, hormones are bound to go crazy, but Jay’s no typical Alpha you know.”

“What do you mean?” 

Heeseung smiles, examining the worry in your eyes as wheels spin in your mind to decipher what the hell he’s talking about. “Jay’s… experienced. He came out of the womb howling at the moon, if you catch my drift.”

Lack of catching becomes evident by the way you go near cross eyed, staring up at the Alpha full of more confusion. “Innocent, freshly presented Omegas aren’t really his style. Jay.. he’s been around town more than a few times, are you starting to understand pup?”

Heeseung sighs, gesturing ahead to one of the Omegas splashing around in the pool giggling loudly while Sunghoon continues to chase her around, vocalizing the threat of untying her bikini top. “Like her, she gets around. Not really my type,” he swiftly skirts over your intrigued expression, following your gaze back to the Omega flouncing around with an arm across her chest squeaking out in a high-pitch to give her swimsuit back. “But look at the way Jay’s eating her up, bet he wants her.”

Heeseung’s right, you observe peering back and forth between where the object of your attention sits, leaned back on his palms with a cocky smirk; completely focused on the robust giggling Omega slowly approaching him, still topless at that.

“She knows what he wants.” Heeseung continues. 

“Maybe.. maybe I could ask Jake to help me.” You muse, tilting your head in observation. “Like you know.. he can tell Jay I like him and—“

“Absolutely not.” Heeseung turns you to face him, glaring at you seriously. “Trust me, your brother cannot know that you want to fuck one of his best friends.”

Spluttering, you shove at the Alphas chest. “I didn’t say all that!”

“Yeah, but that’s what you want, right?” He grins, pinching your chin again to nod your head. “Little horny pup wants big Alpha Jay to plow her into next week.”

“Heeseung!” Charging at him, he laughs tugging you in closely to avoid your balled up fists.

“I’ll help you, we don’t have to involve Jake.”

“You’ll help me? How?”

Heeseung rubs down your spine, glancing toward the topless Omega now sitting on Jay’s lap. “You trust me, right?”

“I guess..” you shrug annoyedly, frowning at the scene of your crush squirting sunscreen into his palms to smear onto a very naked Omega. “Why can’t that be me?”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung returns your focus back to him. “It will be, after I show you how to please an Alpha like Jay.”

“Show me?”

Heeseung nods, cocking an eyebrow as you look at him hesitantly. “How many guys have you kissed?”

“Three..”

He glares more, emitting a soft growl from his throat.

“Ok…one—but, it’s been awhile.”

“You think Jay wants a girl that doesn’t even know how to kiss when he has big and bouncy throwing herself at him?” Heeseung turns you back to watch as the Alpha in question lays down his moves, falling into the water only to press against the Omega threateningly, commencing a flirty back and forth game of splashing at each other.

“No..”

“Exactly, which is why I’m gonna help you.” 

Turning back to face him, you nervously scratch your nape, eyeing the Alpha curiously. “You’d do that for me? Jake doesn’t have to know?”

Heeseung bites down on his lip to stop a hiss from escaping, in disbelief for a moment that you would actually fall for his plan. “No one has to know, it’ll be our secret.”

“Okay..” unsure what he still means you quickly scan around, noting your brother’s been heavily distracted by a pair of twin Omegas he won’t shut up about these days. “What do I need to do?”

Heeseung smiles, stepping backward toward the sliding doors leading inside of your house. “I’ll show you.”

He’s well familiar with your house, having spent most afternoons and vacations staying over since Jake has the best game set-up out of their crew. Bouncing his eyebrows at you mischievously he nudges into your side, directing you to move ahead toward your bedroom upstairs.

“I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him. 

“I’m gonna teach you how to seduce Jay.”

“How?” You fret, swallowing the dry itch away from your throat as he leans in close enough to feel the fan of his next breath caress your Cupid’s bow. 

“For starters, come kiss me.” 

“Huh?!” You jump back, staring at him like he just grew five heads. Heeseung grunts, rolling his eyes.

“You want Jay to fuck you or what?” He asks almost boredly, shifting back to rest on his palms. “I’m trying to do you a favor, as your friend.”

“It’s..God, what the fuck.” Crossing your arms you huff, gnawing at your bottom lip as you mentally weigh out the pros and cons. 

Heeseung has a point, he is your friend.. somewhat. Being the closests to Jake ever since you were kids, you almost thought of him as a second brother, but that’s weird now. Shaking that thought away, you continue to process the negative aspects of this predicament. 

On one hand, he is pretty trustworthy.. he never did snitch on you about that one time he walked in on you kissing Sunoo the summer before your Freshman year. Heeseung’s always been a little nicer to you than the rest of your brothers friends, even sneaking food to your bedroom from the parties Jake said you weren’t allowed to attend. 

It couldn’t hurt much just to try, right? Who would know what Jay wants more than one of his boys. They must share secrets amongst themselves and gossip worse than girls in those gym locker rooms after a game of basketball. Heeseung clears his throat as you dwindle into another minute of silence, tilting his head to the side as if to ask ‘well?’.

“Okay..”

He laughs, shaking his head side to side, tongue lapping his lips leaving behind a sheen of spit to entice you further. “I told you what to do.”

“Right.” Dry swallowing again, you take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. It’s only Heeseung, he wants to help you, not judge you for your lack of finesse and experience. “I’m nervous.” You huff, shoving pieces of loose hair behind your ears out of anxious habit.

“Hey.”  he reaches to pinch your cheek, something he’s done since you were kids. “It’s just me pup.”

Heeseung smiles softly, sitting up straight to lean in closer to where your face stays half hidden with your chin tucked into your neck. “Give me a kiss.”

At this proximity you can count each tiny pore lining the slope of his nose, invisibly tracing the dips above his upper lip leading to a thin perfectly shaped pink pout. He waits patiently, mimicking your actions and taking the moment to absorb each of your delicate features up close despite his wolf urging him to lunge forward and devour your bee-stung chewed over lips.

Apprehensively you shift forward enough for your budding lips to brush together faintly, eyelashes fluttering shut rapidly before arching your neck further to press in and slot between the seam sealing him shut. 

Heeseung’s lips feel soft initially, smooth and plumper than you’d expect from looking at them. Unmoving, he allows for you to work your mouth against his, cautiously rubbing between the ridges lining both of your fleshy pouts. It’s less awkward than you’d have assumed, the weight of nerves leaving your chest the more you lean in to capture his lips between yours with extra force, driven by your own need to be good, to impress and hear that your efforts weren’t futile.

“Hmm..” resting your forehead against his, you stare down at his lap, continuing to keep your gaze lowered as you calm to catch your breath. “Was that good?”

Heeseung’s eyes stay lowered as well, sucking at the sides of his tongue to discreetly lather his throat before speaking and risking the chance of his voice cracking while also hoping you’re somehow too naive to understand what that twitch under his zipper could mean.

“Not bad.” He notes, smoothly returning to lean back on his palms. “You’ll need to do much better for Jay though, it’s definitely giving— my only kiss came from a guy that shares his lip gloss with me now.”

Scoffing, you shove at his shoulder, the two of you falling into a playful laughter now that you feel more comfortable; as you should have expected, Heeseung would never judge you for being a late bloomer.

“Well, help me!” You groan, falling back on your bed. “That’s all I got!”

“It’s enough.” He muses, laying back on an elbow to hover above your face. “Like I said, not bad, but kissing is more than just mouth to mouth resuscitation. It’s about the light touches..” bending closer he traces up the planes of your stomach, digits tickling up to the path dipping between your chest. “The sounds and soft shared breaths, even the occasional bump of teeth when it’s too good to pull away. The desperation for a taste of more..”

Heeseung licks at his lips, following the accelerating rise and fall of your chest. “Close your eyes.” He stills, peering up at you until you nod and your eyes fall shut. “I want you to pretend I’m Jay.”

Mentally screaming at himself, he keeps up the act. “When you kiss me, think about all the times you’ve dreamt of his touch, his body pressed to yours, his skin rubbing against you..”

The furrow between your brows gives away your struggle to do as he says, knowing all too well that the Alpha touching you isn’t the one you’ve lusted after since your first round of puberty. 

Heeseung knows it's a ridiculous suggestion but keeps at it, leaning in closer to breathe across the center of your throat, the tip of his nose bumping along your chin. “These are the things you’ll remember later when you’re all alone, when you can’t sleep, when your thoughts become consumed by desire.” 

Rough pads of his fingers graze across the mounds of breast seeping from the top of your bathing suit, soft lips whispering their way up your jawline. “When Jay wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, he’ll remember your supple skin, the dizzying scent of your perfume, the gasps of air you struggle for between his lips.”

As if on command, Heeseung traps your chin, locking your lips together before you can recuperate your mind from drifting away imagining each description.

Even the first press of his lips has your back arching up, reaching to grab onto anything as he glides against your easily parted mouth. It’s all bated breath, shared spit slicked tips of tongue, noses gently brushing together the more you lean into it. 

Heeseung has to stop himself from crushing his weight flat on you, keeping the kiss tame for now. Time will come for more, as long as he can keep this up. Adjusting your position he tilts more to the side, capturing your mouth at a new angle, tongue swiping between your lips teasingly, releasing soft groany moans the more you ease into his movements and squeeze at the dip in his waist. One of your thighs shifts up to slot between his, pulling yourself in even more as if to invite him to taste every crevice inside of your mouth.

The jerk in his boxers has him gulping, breaking the kiss with a few pecks to calm your thirst. He pulls back breathing out a sigh against your now much more red lips, blood rushing to them pulsing with need. “Good?” Sitting back on his elbow, he licks over the remnants of your taste left behind, biting back a smile as you lay there with your eyes shut still feeling over your lips to retrace every motion.

“That was..” nodding you sigh dreamily, squishing your swollen bottom lip between two fingers. “I get what you mean now.”

“Of course you do, pup.” Heeseung gets up to open your closet, drawing you to sit up quickly in alarm and ask what he’s doing.

“The way you dress will never impress Jay.”

“I have to change the way I dress too?” 

Heeseung hums, sorting through different frumpy garments hung up in your closet with a disappointed expression tugging his features down. “You want Jay to like you, right?”

“Shouldn’t he like me for me?” You frown, following his movement to organize your clothing the way you had it. 

He laughs, sounding out an ‘uh huh!’ As he reaches the back corner of your closet. “If that was the case we wouldn’t be here, now would we?”

Turning back to you, he holds a dress up to your chest, picturing the much too short material barely covering your ass. “This will do, we’ll have to make a trip to the mall tomorrow though.”

“I haven’t worn this since middle school, probably doesn’t even fit me anymore, He—“

“Nu-uh-uh.” Heeseung interrupts, tapping your nose condescendingly. “Why am I helping you if you won’t even listen? Now put this on, trust me.”

Sighing, you shrug mumbling again that it won’t fit you before glaring at him. “Get out!” 

The Alpha laughs, stepping out of your closet to raid your drawers. “Not a single pair of red or black panties.” His tongue clicks, picking out a pair of lacy baby blue underwear. “This will have to do.”

Heeseung settles back on your bed glancing around your room. He’s been in here a few times, often just to bother you, pretend he needed help with an assignment, make up excuses of needing to hide out from aggressive Omegas that didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. 

The truth is, he enjoyed your company, maybe too much. Not enough for Jake to ever become suspicious, Heeseung hadn’t considered you much more than a friend until recent years as you began to develop and break out of your shell more, easily falling into banter with him without flushing shyly. The innocent friendship you’d fallen into only made him more curious about you, that's how he noticed the way you’d constantly stare at Jay like some starved puppy.

He already knew Jay could give a fuck about you, using your presence as a punchline to make another joke. You could do better than Jay anyway, an Omega as sweet and angelic as you, too pure and lovely for some asshole Alpha like that to fuck up. Heeseung wouldn’t have that, not when he’s here determined to be the first to ruin you, Jake’s adorable little sister.

“I can’t wear this!” You huff, shoving open the closet door with your hip to conceal your figure behind your arms. “It’s way too tight.”

“Oh..” he blinks rapidly, sitting up straight, jaw failing to stay shut as he takes in your body hugged beautifully by the white cotton material. “It’s perfect, you look..”

“I look like a slut.”

Heeseung smiles, picking up the blue panties he chose for you. “Exactly, Jay’s type. Put these on too, we need to get back out there before your brother comes looking for me.”

“Did you touch my underwear?!?” 

Heeseung twirls the thin material around his finger, tossing them at your chest. “I’ll head down first.” Without sparing you another look he steps out, quietly shutting your bedroom door with his back pressed against the nearest wall to let out the deep breath he’s been holding in, immediately reaching into his boxers to adjust his aching length.

Fucking hell. 

Heading back down he strolls into the kitchen cooly, pretending to have just come from the bathroom. Jay sits across from him showing off how the Omega from earlier is already blowing up his phone with desperate text messages begging him to come over tonight.  

He doesn’t deserve you, not one bit. Heeseung taps his fingers against his thigh, looking around at the crowd that’s dwindled down to only his close friends, distracted as he spots you emerge from the dark hallway and bounce your way into the kitchen.

Jake does a double take upon your greeting, shoulders stiffening up while you smile and wave and make your way to the fridge. “What the fuck.” He mutters under his breath, scraping his chair across the floor as he pushes away to drag you out of there.

“Hey Jay!” You approach, handing him a chilled bottle of water. “Thirsty?”

The Alpha stays concentrated on his phone, reaching out to grab the bottle from your hand. “Thanks, uhm..” eyes drift your way, snapping back to fully take in your appearance. “..uhh.”

Heeseung bites down grinding his teeth as Jake grabs you by the crook of your elbow, successfully tugging you out of the room before Jay can fully process what just happened. “Was that Jake’s sister?”

Sunghoon draws his eyebrows up and down, slapping the other Alphas bare bicep. “Looks like she’s really filled out, huh?”

Jay opens his mouth to agree, dropping shut upon Jake’s return sporting an annoyed face. “Sorry about that guys, anyway.” Continuing his conversation with Sunghoon about some upcoming basketball game, Heeseung notices Jay peering toward the hallway you disappeared into, clearing his throat before returning to browse through his phone.

“I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.” Heeseung stands up, smirking as his friends' disgusted grimaces. “If you know what I mean.”

“Sick dude, we aren’t a bunch of girls, you don’t have to announce it every time you gotta take a dump.”

Shrugging, he laughs and scratches his neck nervously as he steps out in search of your bedroom once again.

Heeseung discovers you smoothing your palms down the front of your dress with a dumb smile stretching your lips wide, biting back a scowl as he enters and shuts your door.

“Hee?”

“Yeah, there’s something I just remembered.”

“What is it?”

Jay’s surprised face flashes through his head, moving closer to cup your cheeks he squishes them in for your lips to pout out, mirroring the action by lodging his mouth against yours; tongue instantly gliding out to trace across the seam of your lips. The little shocked gasp you release allows him to dive in, tongue swirling past your teeth to lap against yours.

Heeseung kisses differently this time, taking full control of his strength over you by rolling along the roof of your mouth, saliva blending together the more he bends in forcing your neck to arch back. It’s still enough to have your eyes fluttering shut, moaning between the first suck around your tongue, his lips vacuuming around your muscle igniting a new tickle of heat through your chest, something unfamiliar yet addicting.

It’s messy, crashing your mouths together between lost air, spit dripping down your chins smearing together, his nose smashed into your cheek, and his palms easing down to rest at the sides of your neck adding a gentle squeeze. Heeseung can’t help but want to grip around your throat, watch your eyes roll up, pray for your fists to pound at his chest weakly the more you fight to breathe; but that will have to wait. Slow, baby steps..

He pecks softly, keeping your head held up by your weakened neck attempting to roll off your spine, hazy from the unexpected heated kiss leaving your mouth parted open chasing after more. 

“Tomorrow, the mall, we’ll find you something to fit Jay’s standards more that your brother won’t throw a tantrum over.” He says quietly, thumb painting the drying spit on your chin. “Sound good?”

“Okay..” half coherently you nod, blinking up at the Alpha who continues to seem unfazed.

“Need you to do something..” Heeseung’s hands drag down, rubbing past your shoulders to your upper arm, ending at your wrists and lifting your knuckles up to brush against his lips. “Tonight, you need to touch yourself.”

The fog clouding your mind immediately dissipates, snapping to look at him fully. “What?!”

Heeseung chuckles, kissing between your digits. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Heeseung! Stop asking me that!” You hiss, smacking his hands off. 

“Be honest with me, you watch porn?”

Another smack to his chest has him laughing, circling your wrists before you can land another hit. “Don’t act so scandalized, I need a general idea of your comfort level, besides, it can be really informative.”

“I..” you hesitate, internally groaning. “Not much, only a few times.”

Heeseung’s tongue clicks, swinging your hands together at your sides. “I figured as much, that's fine though, nothing to worry about. I’ll send you some links later.”

“Links to what?!”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but Jay’s an Alpha, right?” He asks sarcastically, tilting his head to glare at you.

“Yeah..”

“And you’re an Omega?”

“What’s your point?” You huff annoyed, taking a step back to sit on your bed.”

“This may come as a surprise to you but Alphas have this carnal raging sex drive, particularly whenever they even breathe in the vicinity of an Omega.” Raising a finger like some poindexter instructor, he continues while beginning to pace back and forth before you. “In this instance, Jay is most definitely an Alpha with major needs, having presented in middle school while the rest of us were still learning basic wolf anatomy. I told you, he’s like an Alpha on steroids, hormones go bonkers.”

“Why’s that matter..”

Heeseung chides, patting your head to patronize you further. “My sweet baby pup, it means we have a lot of work to do. You’re so lucky to have a friend like me who’s willing to help.”

Slapping his hand away you grumble. “Yeah yeah yeah… fine I’ll try doing that.”

“What was that?” You’ll try doing what exactly?” He halts, peering down at you with his hands on his hips.

“I’ll check out the links..”

“And?”

He stands expectantly, the corners of his lips turned up hiding a smile as you wring your hands and avoid his gaze. “Touch myself.”

“See pup,” he taps your nose, smiling when you don’t move away. “You’re learning so well already.”

“Let’s check out this store first, you dress really..” Heeseung waves around to mask his implication, directing you to follow him ahead into a clearly more modern attire store full of Omegas.

“Really what.” You grunt, tired and irritated from staying up late. Last night hadn’t quite gone as you would have planned. Heeseung indeed sent you a list of links, a few with descriptions such as:

‘Omega struggles to take a fat knot for the first time.’

‘Alpha in rut goes maniacal on a group of helpless Omegas.’

‘Omega squirts streams of slick in class, setting off her professor's rut.’

“Really, you know..” he continues to wave you off, sorting through a rack of clothes. “Cute.”

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Nothing..” Heeseung says mindlessly, holding up different dresses and tops against your front. “Hmmm, we shouldn't steer too far from your standard look. Some skater dresses, more crop tops, deep V necks to show your figure off more..”

“I just don’t get what’s wrong with being cute..” you sigh, following the Alpha toward the dressing rooms. “Aren’t you Alphas supposed to go all weak in the knees and crazy possessive for a cute Omega?”

Heeseung smiles to himself. If only you understood how right you are.

“Jay’s different.” He reiterates, shoving the pile of clothes in his hold against your chest. “I’ll wait out here.” Nodding to a seat intended for boyfriends and husbands, he sits, foot tapping as if to tell you to hurry up.

Jay’s different.

Heeseung keeps mentioning that, and the more you think it over, the more you wonder what the hell you like about Jay in the first place. 

He’s cute, perfect smile, manly in that dreamy romance novel type of way, really confident, nice voice.. and God such a great ass..

But is any of that really enough of a reason to put yourself through all of this? What can you say you actually know about the Alpha beyond physical attraction..

“What’s taking so long?” Heesung calls, disrupting your inner monologue; his voice much too close followed by a knock on the dressing room door. “Come on, let's see it.”

“Uhm, one second.” 

Rolling his eyes he unlatches the door to enter, shushing the dramatic gasp you let out as he shuts it behind him. “Of course, you forgot to lock it.” He winks, eyeing the dress half pulled up your body. “What have you been doing this whole time?”

“I—“

“Hmm, I don’t like this color on you.” He sorts through the outfits hung up, picking out the shortest of the bunch with the lowest cut on top. “This was my favorite, try this on.”

“Okay, can you get out?”

“I’ll just sit here.” He nods to a small corner bench. “Nothing I haven’t seen before anyway.” Heeseung claps for you to hurry up and change, crossing his arms as you begin to shimmy out of the dress you’d been trying on. “You never texted me back last night.”

“Was I supposed to?” Glancing from corner to corner you wish for something to magically appear from thin air to cover you. Not that Heeseung’s wrong, he’s seen you in underwear by now, bathing suits, even in the morning half-asleep stumbling for the bathroom in nothing but a baggy t-shirt turned inside out. 

“Depends, did you do what I asked?” He eyes you quizzically, assessing any avoidance that would indicate lying.

“Yes..”

He nods, leaning back on the dressing room wall to stretch out his legs, spread out arrogantly. “Did you get off?”

“Hee, isn’t this kind of..”

“No.” He stops you, getting up to circle around you and zip up your dress. “It’s not weird, it’s what you want my help with, right?”

“Right.”

“Exactly.” Adjusting the dress straps, he peers over your shoulder into the mirror, nodding and humming. “This is the one. Now tell me, did you touch yourself?”

“Yes..” 

Heeseung presses to your back, whispering by your ear. “Did you cum?”

Fiddling with your fingers nervously and shaking your head you stare down frustrated. “It’s hard for me when I do it on my own.. I think I need more..”

“Should have texted me.” His tongue clicks annoyed, caressing down your sides to squeeze your hips. “How many did you watch?”

“A few..”

Heeseung grins, smoothing hair away from your shoulder to place a searing kiss on your exposed skin. “Did you like what you saw?”

“It was a lot.” You admit, shivering as he pulls you a step close to him, back pressed to the Alphas chest. 

“Is that what I asked?”

“I liked it..” falling into a whisper, you nod, dropping your face down to hide the shame written across your eyes. “I couldn’t finish though.”

“My poor puppy,” Heeseung cooes, turning your body around to push your chest against a wall, unzipping you open and showing off the smooth definition down your back. “Does it hurt?”

It is exactly what you think it is, pulsating and clenching between your thighs as you silently nod and turn your neck to watch him over your shoulder. He pouts in return, bending in to kiss from your shoulder blade to the top of your spine and blaze a trail of pouty flesh down to meet where your waist curves in, ending at a concave of ticklish skin he kisses at noisily. “I’ll make it feel better.”

Heeseung thought he caught a whiff of your arousal as he sat and watched you demurely wiggle into the dress, avidly avoiding his lustful gaze that burned into your side nonetheless. Gathering the bottom layers together up over the round perk of your ass he bites down on his tongue, quietly sucking back drool from the sides as he cups your hips and squeezes again. “Will you let me?”

“Of course..”

Heeseung has to hide his smirk behind your shoulder, palm sliding inside of your underwear from the back running down the crease of your ass. “Tell me about what you watched..” he whispers, fingers inching lower grazing between your thighs, the first touch against your hole setting shivers off up your spine. “Which one was your favorite..”

“The..” words choke in your throat, burning all over your face as he taps your opening, expelling an embarrassingly loud sound of wetness with each gentle hit. “Uhm..”

“Speak up pup,” pressing close, he licks up the shell of your ear, voice low and raspy. “Not too loud, don’t wanna get kicked out.”

“The uhh.. Alpha rut..” you’re already gasping for your next breath. Heeseung sucks saliva around his tongue, panting against your ear, pelvis pressing to your side creating friction on his growing groin. He knows exactly which one you’re referring to, his favorite really.

“What’d you like about that one?” Behind you his eyebrows wrinkle together, dipping deeper into your underwear to flick your clit. Biting back a curse from how drenched his palm becomes swiping through your folds, bundle of nerves already swollen with need. 

“The..” sighing, you relax into his touch, eyes rolling up and resting your chest against the dressing room wall. “He was so.. desperate.”

Heeseung grunts, nodding into the column of your throat, pinching two fingers around your clit creating a meticulous pointed stimulation that has your toes digging up off the floor. “He was ruthless, rough as fuck. You like that? Liked watching all those horny Omegas get fucked and bred, ripped to shreds, dripping loads of cum?” 

The Alpha can feel your hole pulsate against his wrist, digits swiveling in circles jolting each nerve down your thighs, his low tone growing more nasty and heated the more you drip past his hand and ruin your underwear. “Wanted that to be you? Wanna get treated like a dirty cum dump, fucked over and over again until your legs can’t even shut?”

“Hee..” quickly lifting your hand up, you have to bite down to stop yourself from shouting, whimpering behind teeth digging in. The thought of being manhandled and strewn around like a ragdoll just to satisfy your Alpha makes your thighs quiver, nodding manically and failing to suppress a broken moan as he ruts into your hip; sweeping back smearing wet arousal between your folds and rim around your entrance. 

Heeseung can feel the wet top of his length bulge painfully against his boxers, leaking precum out with each jerk of his hips. “Yeah? I could—“ he pauses, slapped across the cheek by reality, remembering why you’re here to begin with. “Jay… Jay would use you like nothing but a fleshlight, pound your pussy until it breaks.” Shutting his eyes, he grimaces, thankful you can’t see him. “Claim all your holes until you’re stuffed so full baby..”

Breath staggers as his chest caves, dipping the pads of his fingers teasingly into your tight heat. “That’s what you want? Tell me. Tell me you want it.”

“Hee..” the heavy look you give him makes his knees buckle, thrusting forward to rock faster into your side. He pushes in first knuckle deep, teeth grinding together to not break down and let out a cry. You’re so fucking tight, he can’t even imagine how you’d take his cock, sucking around two digits hard enough to fill his fingers full of blood. Thirsty enough to eat him alive, hot velvety walls caged around him like you may never let go. “Want it, want that so bad.”

I want you. 

Heeseung swallows down a whine, leaning forward to steal a kiss, thrusting in and out of your cunt without fully entering. The thought of completely stuffing his fingers inside of you too much, can’t even process how you’d crumble against him, how you’d gaze up at him half-lidded and out of breath; maybe you’d beg for more, maybe reach down and grip his wrist. “Fuck.”

Heeseung moves down without another thought, dragging your panties down to your knees as he falls to his. “Don’t be loud..” he voices huskily, gripping the meat on the backs of your thighs, dryly gulping his own need to growl down. 

Clouds float around his mind, masking everything for a moment as he cups under your buttcheeks and tests the weight; bouncing and squishing as his head clears every voice other than the one of his Alpha shouting to eat you up, bite every centimeter of smooth meaty flesh, lick until you’re dripping down to your ankles.

Heeseung sways for a second, slowly tilting up to find you watching him with glazed over eyes, big and glimmering, staring down at him in anticipation. He wants to say so much, wants to tell you how pretty you look, how good he knows you’ll taste, how he’ll eat you out endlessly until his jaw breaks at the hinges. Instead he leans in, never breaking eye-contact as he presses a kiss the triangular divet at the top of your perky globes. He can see the strain in your neck turning to look at him more, the angle anchoring your spine into a lewd dip that shoves your ass back into his face even more, nose burying between the split making his eyes flutter shut and deeply inhale. 

Fuck you smell so fucking good. Heeseung can’t stop his hips from jumping up, shaking the weight of your butt against his face with fingers buried into your flesh roughly, grip digging deep enough to leave indentations and light claw marks behind. The tip of his nose drags down slowly, taking time to savor the scent hidden between your cheeks, completely neglecting the way you whimper above embarrassed and whining. A tug at his scalp has him rumbling, nose pressing to your rim the harder you pull at the hair on his crown. 

Heeseung licks at the backs of his teeth, too immersed in your scent to even realize how much his dick has started to throb, it actually hurts how badly he wants to feel every inch of you. He will, he thinks, lick up from each toe to the backs of your knees, leaving traces of himself all over before Jay can ever touch you.

With a deep breath he spreads you apart, intoxicated by the proximity of your tight hole clenching around nothing, painted with slick that’s poured down to your knees. Ridiculous how wet you are, all for him, no one else. “So wet, so pretty and drenched..” he mutters drunkenly, dipping in to lick a fat stripe from your clit to your entrance. Gravelly moans slip from his lips, vibrating ripples up your back and weakening your strength; dropping your bottom to press against his forehead as he repeats the motion hungrily. 

Heeseung’s lips pucker out, slurping messily at your hole, making a bigger mess of slick finding new pathways to trail down his chin, past his arched neck and paint driblets of arousal down his throat. Every move is uncoordinated to start, eagerly lapping around the swell of your ringed muscle, more desperate to taste every part of you than breathe right now. Each swipe of his tongue has you panting heavier, head knocking into the wall and teeth finding purchase in your palm to mute your screams. 

“Heeseung…” you say breathlessly, oblivious to the public space you’re in, the pleasure spiraling up your stomach more important than anything. “I’m..”

Catching you off guard, his tongue dips in, fully shoving the fat width in past your hole abruptly with a low groan. Immediately swallowed by your wet heat, the clench around his tongue strong enough to rip it right out of his mouth, and he’d let you. Heeseung thinks he’d do anything for you, just to die between your thighs choking on your decadent slick. 

“Close, so c-close,” you whimper, gyrating down against his parted lips, tongue maneuvering between your walls deliciously. 

Struggling to breathe, his digits dig into your hips, nails scraping into your skin and tugging you down onto his tongue faster. Heeseung groans, tongue-fucking in against your writhing figure, the action draws heat up your chest pushing you over the precipice of pleasure. 

His groin jumps, sadly humping up into the air wishing to withdraw himself and fill you to the brim without a care of where you are, or who your older brother is. In time, in time..

“Hee!” You squeak, sounding overwhelmed and sensitive, music to his ears. Slipping free, he takes a deep breath, quickly returning to clean up your release of slick and plant a kiss on your swollen clit, jolting at the firm press of his lips.

Heeseung has to calm himself, reaching inside of his boxer’s to adjust his pitiful cock, needing to move himself fast before suffering from humiliation of cumming in his pants. Kissing up and down your bottom, he sucks on the perk of your ass, gently tugging your underwear back up into place and lifting himself off his rug-burned knees.

“Made a mess.” He smiles, wondering how he can even feel the littlest bit of shy while still dawning your slick on his chin. “Was it good?” He scratches the back of his nape, assisting you to remove the dress half clinging to your body.

“Yeah..” you mumble dreamily, eyes still shut as you bite away a toothy smile. 

Turning your limbless figure around, he cups your jaw, tilting your head up to gaze at him. “I’ll eat your ass next time too.” Heeseung grins, feeling more confident when your eyes shoot open in shock. “Get dressed, I’ll wait for you outside.”

Lightly pecking your bitten lips, he exits with the dress to purchase, ignoring the few employees restocking racks and shelves that eye him with disgust; overhearing one mumble that the least he can do is wipe the slick off his neck. 

He’d rather soak in your scent for the rest of the day, especially when he’s alone later replaying your sweet moans and fucking into his palm.

Heeseung swipes his card mindlessly, eyeing the dressing room door you step out of with your head ducked, heart rate speeding up when you shyly glance at him and scurry closer to hide by his side. Pulling you under his arm, he laughs at the way you can’t even maintain eye contact with him now, swatting his chest as he leads you out of the store. “Not funny! Everyone was judging us.”

Heeseung hates the way his chest tightens, itching to kiss away the faux-pout on your lips and embarrass you further; more than that he hates how badly he wants to get used to this.

“What if he doesn’t notice me?”

“He could just ignore me again, this is so stupid.”

“I don’t know what I’m thinking Hee, this isn’t me. I feel like an idiot.”

“I can’t wear this, Jake’s gonna kill me.”

“I don’t know, be honest with me, can I pull this off?”

“You look really pretty.” Heeseung interrupts your anxious ranting, forcing a smile and motioning to the dress he picked out for you the other day. He has to swallow back a sigh as you spin around with a huge smile squealing and asking if Jay would notice you tonight. Instead of responding he stands up, smoothing his palms down the front of his thighs. “I should head down before your brother starts wondering why I’m taking so long.”

“Okay, before you go, should I add anything else?” Bouncing up to him, you continue modeling swaying side to side. “Should I add more perfume?” Tilting your head, you elongate your neck, baring the entirety of your throat leading into the dip of your shoulder, collar even more pronounced and defined by the strap held up by your perfectly sculpted frame.

Heeseung’s tongue curls inside of his mouth, the tip running across the fronts of his teeth to withhold the itch passing through his canines. “You smell fine.”

“Fine?!” You scoff, grabbing him by his waist to tug him in closer. “You didn’t even sniff!” 

The Alpha has to hold his breath, nose hovering above your throat much closer, the tip only a mere inch away. “You smell..”

Heeseung inhales slowly, his nose just barely caressing your scent gland but it’s enough to make his brain short circuit. Each nerve in his system feels like a shock of electrocution the more you invade his senses; the power behind each soft note carrying hints of your arousal that he can’t scrub off of his tongue. Not that he’s even tried to.

“Hmm?” You question, becoming light-headed the longer he grazes your throat. Heeseung’s teeth grind, grabbing your shoulders to force himself back. 

“Smells…yeah..” He blinks stiffly, scratching at his nape in an aggressive manner before rushing for your bedroom door. “Shit, think I heard Jake calling for me.” Without another glance he rushes out immediately scurrying down the stairs to find a bathroom far away from you. 

Deep choked breaths fill up the small guest bathroom, flush to the door as he attempts to calm and ignore the pained swell between his thighs. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

Heeseung paces back and forth for a few minutes, rustling through thick chunks of his styled back hair making a few pieces hang over his forehead in a somehow even more attractive manner. He doesn’t want to consider realistic thoughts right now, especially not pertaining to you or how he somehow fucked himself over with this plan.

A drink will solve this turmoil, a few drinks, maybe five or ten, who’s counting? That’s how he ends up in the kitchen for the next hour sulking with a half-empty bottle of vodka. Not even the good kind, he grimaces reading over the blurry sticker he’s been scratching at. Why can’t Jake just keep stealing from his parents, they never noticed anyway.

“Hee! Come on loser!” Speaking of the devil, Jake rushes toward the kitchen, beet red down his neck, flushed and glazed over from throwing back 1/4th of a keg. Dragging him out of the kitchen by his arm, his best friend wiggles his eyebrows devilishly. “These girls wanna play strip ping-pong.”

“Ahh, I’m not up to it.” Heeseung slurs, stumbling into the garage only to find you leaned back on a wall with Jay leaning over your figure, the two of you sharing suspiciously flirty smiles between each other. The red cups in your hands both there more for show as you giggle and continuously smack his chest, dragging your palm to his bicep ending with a squeeze while biting your lip.

Heeseung thinks he might throw up, even going as far as covering his mouth and gagging, earning a concerned and disgusted look from Jake. “Bro, what the fuck.”

“I gotta..” he motions back inside, fast to get away before the room starts spinning but not before meeting your eyes as he reaches the door. The disappointed look in his gaze is hard to miss, distracting you from whatever Jay’s been saying, something about basketball.. baseball… some type of ball.

“I have to use the little girls room, too much to drink.” You grin, making the Alpha snort.

“Light weight, you’ve barely touched your beer.” Rolling his eyes playfully he leans in sweeping your hair behind your ear. “Don’t take too long.”

“Of course, Alpha.” Jay barks out a laugh, stepping aside for you. He’s right though, you’ve barely touched your drink, and you don’t actually need to use the restroom.

Heeseung’s nowhere to be found as you head back inside and run from room to room in search of the Alpha. He couldn’t have left already? He’d been missing most of the night, at least since you’d last seen him in your bedroom. Deciding to check for his car leads you to the Alpha sat alone on your front porch half-asleep leaned against the stair bannister, his head lifting up upon catching a whiff of your scent.

“What are you doing out here?”

Heeseung blinks slowly, sleepy eyes taking their time to look over your confused face, untouched make-up indicating you haven’t been up to anything that would mess it up, and the dress he chose that best complimented your skin tone, hugging your curves in all the right places. Impeccable, of course.

“Hee?” You frown, stepping down to sit next to him. “You okay?”

He wants to say no, licking his lips instead, leaving them shiny with a layer of spit. “Needed fresh air.”

“Don’t tell me you’re fucked up already.” You laugh, nudging against his side. The Alpha can feel a shiver build up his spine, left scolded where your skin pressed to his bare forearm, the light contact enough to crawl an excited itch up his chest.

“Word of advice, stay away from cheap vodka.” He groans, head returning to rest against the stair banister.

“No wonder I couldn’t find you.” You say, looping under his arm to wrap yourself in the Alphas familiar warmth. “I needed your help back there.”

Heeseung’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, relishing in your soft fresh scent drifting around him, surely sticking to his shirt after this. “Why?”

“I think Jay was flirting with me!” You squeal in a whispered tone, bending in closer, setting your chin on his shoulder. “He poured my drink for me.. and said I look really good.”

Ah, there it is, that annoying pang in his chest that won’t seem to stop rearing its ugly head with every mention of Jay now. When the fuck did that decide to happen.

Heeseung forces a lazy smile and nods. “That’s good pup.. you should get back in there.”

“Ah, well,” sighing, you smile shyly. “I’m kind of nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about.” Heeseung sits up without shifting you off, pressing in against your side more. 

“It’s just, you’re right, Jay’s..” you hum, staring up at the star littered sky. “..different.”

“I think he likes you..” Heeseung sighs, biting on the tip of tongue to not sound too disappointed. 

“What?? Why do you think that?”

He shrugs, frowning in thought, the image of Jay smirking and leaning into you to whisper not leaving his mind. Shaking away the thought he reaches for the now flat cup of beer by his feet. “‘Cause you’re pretty.”

You’re really really pretty.. and funny, nice, easy to talk to, even your naive nature comes across charming more than anything..

Heeseung eyes you dejectedly, nodding toward the front door. “Stay confident in yourself, you have nothing to worry about.”

“There is one thing..” you mutter, nervously glancing back at him. “It’s just.. I’ve never..”

Reaching for his thigh you stroke up between the space, palm inching closer to his groin. Heeseung perks up, swallowing a big gulp before raising his eyebrows at you. “You..never, what?”

“We haven’t..” trailing off you reach higher, palm smoothing down his crotch to squeeze him. Heeseung chokes on his spit, coughing and sitting up straight in surprise.

“Right now?!” Clearing his throat he quickly looks back and forth from the heel of your palm pressing into his rapidly growing member to the subtle smile on your lips. “We can’t.. not here!”

“Of course we can.” With a wink you move to sit on your knees between his thighs, pushing them further apart, hands heating up as they glide along the inner expanse. “No one’s coming out here.”

“My car!” Heeseung nearly jumps away from your touch, scrambling back up another stair to get away from your overly eager hands. “Let’s go to my car.” He moves to stand up fast, grabbing you by your elbow to drag you over to where he parked, mostly stumbling as he realizes how drunk he really is.

This is a bad idea. 

Heeseung halts, patting for his key, eyeing you warily. “You sure about this?”

“Alpha, it’s as if you don’t wanna show me how to suck dick.” You leer, crossing your arms expectantly. He immediately splutters, hands raising defensively.

“I absolutely want to show you.” He laughs nervously, cringing to himself as he turns away to open the backdoor for you. “I don’t have any uhm..”

“Condom?” 

“Yeah..”

“Do we need one?” 

Heeseung can feel a sob rise up his throat as you blink at him innocently after asking that, shrugging and climbing into his car. The idea of your wet tongue dragging along the underside of his bare cock has his heart thumping violently, a cold drip of sweat rolling down his spine. He stutters, throat cracking- “Should be fine.”

Don’t be a fucking idiot. 

Following in after you, he has to catch his breath, easing into the backseat next to you as he reconsiders going through with this; but you suggested it in the first place..

“Is there something I should do first?” You interrupt, returning to his side and running a hand up his thigh. “Anything you like that I should focus on?”

Heeseung swallows down a whimper, eyelashes batting up at you with a wide-eyed sparkly gaze. 

Anything you like. He doesn’t want to remind himself that this isn’t for anyone else, you didn’t say specify that anyway..

“Don’t use your teeth,” Heeseung’s nose meets yours, breathing over your lips. “I’m not hard yet.” Crashing into your lips he’s quick to build up a rhythm, pushing in past your mouth and finding your tongue, the taste of alcohol left behind mixing with your saliva. The Alpha grips your hand working you higher up between his thighs, pressing your palm atop the bulge that’s begun to form. “Get me hard and suck my dick.” He rasps into your mouth, urgently rushing back to deepen the kiss.

“How should I do it, Alpha?” You say it again, hollowing the center of his chest with your flirty tone. Heeseung feels dizzy from the alcohol light-headed off your lascivious scent, crashing under waves of humid air filling his car up quickly. “On my knees?”

Fuck.

Hesseung nods rabidly, stretching open his thighs to fix enough space for you to slip down to the backseat floor and feel comfortable. The shift happens seamlessly, sliding down to your knees with ease as if you belong there; judging by the mischievous glint in your gaze he has to believe that maybe you do. So pretty on your knees, teasing slow touches up his thighs and squeezing around the nervous jumps of muscle on the way to his crotch.

“I don’t know how good I am.. I only tried this once before and it was...” You whisper trailing off embarrassed , clearly apprehensive with your next step. Heeseung hums to assure you, half-distracted by the thought of you wrapping your lips around anyone elses cock. He hates it, hates that you’ve ever given yourself to anyone else, undeserving… all of them, every single one. No one deserved to see you this way, so wanton and elated to perform such an indecent act. 

“I’ll walk you through it.” He reassures, reaching to pet your hair softly, silky tendrils slipping between his digits as he scratches through your scalp and pushes them away from your face. “Take it out.”

Breath lodges in his throat when you move fast to unzip his pants, hand tickling his happy trail as it sneaks below too excitedly to grip his size; the other working to tug his bottoms down with assistance from his hips lifting up. “Stroke.. and squeeze around the tip..” 

Heeseung tries to pretend he doesn’t hear your breath catch in your throat, doesn’t see your eyes enlarge and jaw fall open, doesn’t notice the way your thighs squirm together as you draw his length out completely. 

He really wishes he hadn’t seen your lips stretch into a mirthful smile, especially wishing his cock hadn’t twitched so violently as you sigh and trace up his size. “You’re so big, Alpha. Can barely fit my hand around you..”

A cracked whimper echoes when you swipe your thumb across his precum coated slit, mindlessly painting the wet drip around the tip. He wants to watch you struggle to swallow around him, wants to smack the bulge in your throat while you gaze up at him with tear stricken eyes. Make your mouth belong to him, only him.

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” Heeseung sounds desperate already, hissing between his grinding teeth when you do as he says and blink up at him fast to clear some of the moisture blurring your sight. One hand stays tangled in your crown as his other trails down to your jaw, cupping and digging his digits in until your tongue lolls free. “Yeah.. you look so fucking pretty like this.”

The sound of his meaty length claps against the center of your tongue, growling in his chest as drool pools around his throbbing size. It takes all of his willpower to not fuck straight into your throat until you gag and scratch down his thighs, his Alpha screaming and snapping teeth at him to wreck your slutty mouth; wishing to knot and keep your luscious lips stuck around him. 

“Start sucking pup, nice and slow okay? Don’t rush yourself. Wrap your lips around the tip for me.” Heeseung instructs you to grip around the base of his length, not too firmly, slowly dipping past your mouth gathering around taking him in just past the slit. The visual of your lips circling him all plump and glossy obscene enough to make his heart pound faster. Reaching lower into your hair, he cups the back of your head gently; maneuvering you easily at his will and gradually disappearing inch by inch until you cough around him with a heave emitting spit around the corners of your lips.

“That’s a good puppy,” he grunts, forcing a smile to not break down and out right cry. Half of his length coated in immense wet warmth, your tongue rolling against the bottom, lips suctioning where he holds you steady. “Think you can take it all for me?”

Popping your lips off you stroke the skin blanketing his length, pulling it up and down, watching the tip prod out gleaming in the dark backseat of his car. “…s’really big..” you slur, more from the river that's flooded your mouth. 

“Jay’s bigger.” Heeseung lies, pursing his lips to not laugh. “It’ll be good practice, gag reflex is important.” 

Rolling your eyes you examine how your fingers can’t even span the base, just barely meeting as your stroke up to the tip.

“Like this pup,” wrapping around your grip, Heeseung tightens his fist around yours, applying pressure down to really squeeze his rod. “Don’t be scared, go slow to get your throat used to it. Sound good?”

The Alpha keeps helping you stroke him from base to tip, the head vanishing behind your conjoined hands. “You’re doing good, open up your mouth again for me baby.”

He doesn’t have to ask again, dropping your jaw open without resistance once again, more determined now to try to take as much as you can. Afterall.. you want to learn. 

Humming, he lolls the tip across your upper lip, coating your Cupid’s bow with a thick layer of precum. “Keep your pretty eyes on me..” 

Blinking up you nod, tongue dragged down on your lower lip by the weight of his size sitting heavily. “Try to keep them open, want you to look at me while I fuck your throat. You’re doing so good already.”

Heeseung feels a rumble erupt in his chest, overwhelmed by how compliant you are for him, only making it harder to not glide himself in at his own pace. “Wrap your lips around my cock and relax your throat, I’ll help you ease it in.”

He doesn’t mention that part about your gagging, lurching and coughing around the thick size stretching your jaw wider the closer you reach the groomed patch of hair atop his base. The gurgled sound of spit and trickles spurting out of your mouth only excite him all the more, cock pulsing as you inadvertently suck around him. Determined to swallow every inch you sink down more, collecting spit down your chin and having to stop when the head tickles the back of your throat. 

“Fuck.” Heeseung groans throatily, just watching you attempt to suck him balls deep makes him ache, pulling you off quickly before he explodes down your throat. “Good…s’good, you’re doing so good.”

“Why’d you make me stop?” You whine, lips debauched and raw at the corners from the stretch. It almost feels wrong to see you like this, lips swollen and puffy, chin and chest covered in your own spit.

“You’re too good,” he chuckles, chin dropping to his chest to hide the high blush burning his cheeks. “A natural deep throater.” 

Heeseung doesn’t have to push your head back down, quickly moving to latch your lips around the head you suck down faster, shocking him as you gag and have to squeeze your eyes shut to reach the base. Swallowing and choking around the full length lodged deep in your throat tickling past your tonsils. 

“Oh fuck!” Heeseung jolts, hips thrusting up when your lips press firmly against his pubic hair, forcing your eyes to open up as tears rain down your cheeks. He can’t control himself anymore, palming the back of your head and grinding forward. “Fuck yeah, oh you’re so fucking good.”

Heeseung doesn’t know what it is, your throat constricting around him, the pitiful sounds gasping for air between spit-ridden coughs, the disgusting slurp up and down his length, or your pretty wet eyes opened wide like a perfect fuck doll, his little toy. It’s everything, more than he could have anticipated. Wrenching you away he grips around the base of his cock, smacking the tip down on your parted lips inhaling deep breaths and coughing to clear your lungs. 

“Open wide, wanna see you swallow it.” His length slaps your cheek further prodding you to listen, snapping your eyes shut as the wet heavy weight splashes against your face; tongue hung out ready, needing to please and do good. 

“You like this?” Heeseung gasps a little, chest trembling from the coil in his gut tightening up, constantly pinching roughly around the base of his cock to stave off the orgasm threatening to spill out any minute now. He asks more so wanting to know if you like this as much as he does, judging by the way one of your hands has disappeared between your thighs he can only assume.

“Uh-huh,” without even closing your mouth you answer in a low drawn out tone, dragging the muscle under the girth, teasing the tip with a swirl up the slit. He doesn’t have to control you anymore, watching in awe as you suck around the bulbous end of his length, gazing up beneath half-lidded eyes while you smooth down with more ease. 

“Just like that..” fingers thread their way back into your hair, pressing you lower until an awful sound emits from the back of your throat. Spitting out a string of curses above as he groans and makes you gag around him again, thrusting up to clog your lungs and hear more of your gargled chokes. “Such a good Omega, fuck—“

It’s when he feels your nails scratch down his thighs that he jerks up, pressing your nose deep into his pubic bone fully bottoming out. Breath passes through his nose, mouth hung open letting out a languid pitchy moan. “I’m—I’m gonna—oh fuck!”

Thrusts hit faster, jerking into your mouth sloppily as he cums, keeping you held firmly in place to fill up your throat. It’s too much though, hissing between gritted teeth and setting you free, early enough to catch the tail end of his arousal. The end of it pours down your chin, leaving a streak of creamy white behind on your bottom lip as he falls back drawing out a loud gasp for air. 

“Fuck. What the fuck.” His head spins, having to look away from you, fearful he’ll cum again abruptly like some horny teenager. Repeating whatthefuck over and over again as he tries to come back down, not even noticing when you push up on his thighs to sit back next to him.

“Does that mean I did good?”

Snapping to look at you, he blinks dumbfounded, sure that you’ll be the death of him. How could you even ask that?

He doesn’t hold back, circling your throat and leaning in, licking your chin clean of the remnants of his release. He lets you chase his lips for a second, struggling to resist devouring your mouth and laying you out in his backseat, but you deserve better than that. You’re no easy backseat fuck, proving you’re far beyond more than that time and time again. He needs to clearly see you spread out on your back, lost in your desire and begging to be fucked.

“We should head back inside, Jay’s probably wondering where you disappeared off to..” 

Heeseung’s face drops, forcing his fingers to stay locked together on his lap and not fidget. Needing to distract himself before he says something stupid, maybe not that stupid but something that would ruin the night. Maybe something about how no one’s ever sucked his cock that good before, something about having to bite his fist when you squeezed your eyes shut to not scream out that he thinks he might love you. Nothing like that..

“Oh yeah.” You sigh, brushing through your hair to at least appear somewhat presentable. “I’m kind of hungry now, honestly.” You laugh, dropping your chin to his shoulder. “Think Jay can wait until I eat some of my favorite ramen?”

Heeseung snorts, sleek gaze watching you from the corner of his eye. “You know I make it the best.”

“Exactly.” Pinching his waist, you tickle the way to his stomach, poking at his navel. “It’s the least you can do for me after swallowing what could have been your future one night stand mistakes.”

“I’m not that dumb..” He jokes, swatting your hands away to tickle you back. “My pull-out never fails me.” Heeseung’s stomach rumbles, most likely from the alcohol tearing through his intestines. “I guesssss I could whip you up a little something for being such a hard working pup.”

Hesitation hides behind your smile, entangling your fingers between his. “You’re in no state to drive right now, let's eat and then we can hide out in my room, watch a movie or whatever you wanna do..”

Heeseung thinks that sounds nice, more than nice actually. Hoping it’s the haze of alcohol still lingering in his system that has him imagining cuddling up in your bed instead of plowing you into another existence. 

“You still like it light on the spice right?” He grins, sliding to the side to open the door for you; fast to skim the area and make sure no one’s around for the incriminating visual of you exiting his car, adjusting the hem of your dress that floated up above your underwear.

Throwing an arm around your shoulder with the excuse of inebriation, he slumps into your hold, maintaining enough of his weight to not crush you. The slap you land on his stomach stings but feels good, feels right, followed by your amused giggles.

He thinks he could get used to this. He wants to get used to this. He needs to get used to this. 

Over a pot of boiling water and a deep wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, he wonders when he derived from the original plot; and as he watches you slurp up your noodles, making a mess of broth on your chin and whine about burning your tongue, his chest tightens and he wonders when he started to fuck up.

Heeseung thinks he’s going crazy, if not from his uncontrollable emotions than at least from the newly formed callouses lining his palm. He can’t stop thinking about you, can’t stop himself from glaring at Jay when they meet up to game, can’t bring himself to apologize for throwing the ball too hard and accidentally missing his shot in favor of aiming for his friend's head.

It’s not Jay’s fault. It’s not even your fault. It’s not one's fault but his own; because even now as he wanders down the hall toward your bedroom he knows he needs to stop. Pausing, he smacks his cheeks and turns around to actually use the bathroom like he’d announced before excusing himself from his group of friends, he stops again and knocks his forehead against the wall nearly knocking down a picture of you and Jake as children.

He sighs, chest tight again, reaching to brush over your big smile. The same smile that first caught his attention and made him wonder how he could be the one to make you smile.

Heeseung never really cared if you presented as an Omega or not, writing off the idea of ever having a chance with his best friend's little sister. Jake would never allow it, warning them all after your first heat to stay away from you. 

He tried to, he really did, he’d do anything for Jake, but staying away from you wasn’t an option.

“Hee? Is that you?” 

Heeseung startles, jumping to turn around and find you by your bedroom door looking half-asleep despite it being well into the afternoon. “When did you get here?”

Gaping open and shut like a fish out of water he swallows, moving closer without a second thought to cup your cheeks and smother you with a kiss. Your instant reception alleviates his nerves, melting deeper into your parted lips to taste your tongue, sucking the plump flesh of your surprised pout between brushes of teeth. 

Heeseung can’t explain what's come over him, more than desperate to taste you and thoroughly scent you. He blinks slowly, eyes falling shut as he finds solitude in your neck, licking up the vein decorating your scent gland. 

“Hee..” you whisper groggily, tone heated and husky already, gripping his waist to press you flush together. “We shouldn’t, someone could find us.”

Let them find us.

He wants to break down, wants to snap and leave more than spit behind on your throat, teeth aching to bury deep in your tender flesh. Mark you up too good, good enough for Jay to never mention you again. 

The familiar mouth watering scent of your slick tickles his nose, eyes shooting open deep red behind dark brown irises. 

“Hee.. Alpha..” you pant, squirming against your bedroom door frame. Shushing you, Heeseung litters light kisses down your nose and plump lips, layering more down your chin and center of your throat. 

“Don’t worry.” He mumbles, overcome with the need to taste every inch of your flesh, hauling your oversized t-shirt up to easily shift between your legs and rub your groins together. “They’re all playing, no one will find us.”

“Yeah, but I don’t feel so good..”

Heeseung immediately stands up straight to cup your face and scan your disorientated expression. “Wait, what’s wrong? What are you feeling?”

“A little nauseous..” you frown, rubbing your stomach. “Must have been something I ate.”

“Want me to get you anything? I can run to the store and pick you up some soup?” Heeseung doesn’t realize how panicked he sounds until you smile weakly and snort, his thumbs stroking your cheeks back and forth coming to a halt. “Or.. medicine, a hot pack?”

“You’re cute Hee,” you sigh dreamily, leaning back on the door frame, heavy eyelids falling shut. “I think I need to rest more, feel more tired than usual.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Heeseung tucks his lower lip in, teeth digging into the chapped skin. “Let’s get you back to bed then.”

“Yeah.. sorry..” you meekly apologize, not budging even when he tries to step inside of your bedroom and tug you from the door. “Wait..”

Heeseung’s eyelashes flutter, lips jutting out confused and tilting his head. “What’s up?” 

“I look gross..” you mumble quietly, peering down at your sock covered feet. “Didn’t think I’d see you today.”

Heeseung’s surprised, stepping close again to lift your cheeks in his palms. “Gross? You never look gross, what are you talking about?”

“Really?” 

Taking in your sleepy eyes up-close, he slowly nods, pushing your lips together. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, biting it away nervously to stop himself from word vomiting about how adorable you are right now. “You couldn’t look gross even if you tried.” Heeseung gulps, silently praying you can’t hear that escalating thump in his chest, the one pounding in his ear hard enough to rapidly rush blood up to his brain and physically throb.

“You…” distracting himself with your bottom lip, he presses the center with his thumb, dipping the fleshy fat in to spill out around his digit. “You look cuddly… I wanna cuddle you..” Heeseung wants to cringe, a red blush of heat races to the tips of his ears. 

“Cuddle?!” You squeak, placing your palm over your mouth to decrease the round of laughs you let out. “Alpha, what are we?”

“Ughhhhh” grimacing, he turns quickly to run away and hide, only making it easier to loop your arms around his waist from behind and pull him past your door.

Heeseung whines, allowing himself to be dragged back and weakened by your scent pouring down the four walls you sleep in the middle of. Feet shuffling back and placing his larger palms over yours. “Would you be taking me to bed right now if I had said I want to eat you out and bury my tongue in your ass until you cry?”

It’s his turn to laugh when you come to an abrupt halt at the edge of your bed, squeezing your hands to free up enough space to turn and smirk at you. “Cuddling worked in my favor.” The Alpha grins wolfishly, gaze drifting to the pile of clothes organized on your bed in a structured shape. “You’re nesting??”

Embarrassment floods your face, spreading your arms out in lame attempt to cover up the pile of your favorite belongings. “I told you, I don’t feel too good..”

A contemplative frown forms on his lips, catching a glimpse of the small blanket you carried around as a kid despite Jake making fun of you for being well past the age to still need your ‘blanky’. Heeseung always thought it was cute, especially when you’d lay down during movie nights and fall asleep curled up in a ball, cheek squished against the soft fabric scrunched under your face. 

“Maybe I should leave then,” he suggests, genuinely concerned. “No pressure, seriously, the guys are probably wondering why I’m taking so long.”

It’s true, Sunghoon had already brought it up last time they hung out at Jake’s. Flipping him off after returning from your bedroom aka ‘the bathroom’. 

‘The fuck did you eat man, lost my high score because of you!’

Heeseung laughed it off nervously, mumbling something about developing a lactose intolerance or whatever; excusing his upset stomach and mentioning needing to ‘cut down his instant noodle intake.’ 

He knows this is risky, stupid even, Jake always cracked jokes about how every Alpha that took you out on dates had to deal with a thorough interrogation first. Practically ripping Sunghoon’s head off when he sniffed the air after your first heat and suggested he check in on you since your sweet slick was still strong enough to taste.

Jake’s his best friend, and he should know better than anyone to never mess with his sister.

“Stay for just a little?” 

Yeah, Heeseung should know better and maybe he does, but that doesn’t stop him from crawling into your bed beside you, head resting on your shoulder laid with enough space to not mess up your nest with his scent.. unless you asked him to.

“You sure you don’t want me to get anything for you?” He doesn’t want to leave, sitting up to smooth your hair down and brush your cheek. “It’s really not a big deal, I’ll be fast.”

“I’m fine Hee..” trailing off, you eye his clothing appraisingly, biting your nail in an anxious manner. “There might be one thing..”

“Anything.”

Heeseung’s a little surprised when you tug on the sleeve of his zip-up, avoiding his questioning gaze. “Can I borrow your hoodie? I’ll give it back, promise.”

Without even hesitating he tugs it off and balls up the material handing it off, sealing his lips shut before saying you can just keep it. Reminding himself that this is his favorite hoodie after all, softer and more worn-in than any of his others. Borrowing might be for the best in this case.

Unraveling and setting the garment near your head seems to instantly lift your mood, relaxing your shoulders and easing deeper into your pile of clothes. Heeseung remembers some detail from anatomy class about Omegas being picky with the scents of Alphas infiltrating their spaces, especially their nest. They don’t just allow any Alpha to enter their safe space.

“I’ll text you later, yeah?” Heeseung leans over to place a kiss on your forehead and cheek, smiling when you shove your lips out and pout for another kiss. “Feel better pup, can’t have you getting sick.” 

“Worried I won’t look good anymore?” You ask, still carrying a sassy bite in your tone.

Heeseung shakes his head, backing away toward your door. “More worried about how long I’d be out of action, you’d be worth every sniffle and cough.”

Heeseung hasn’t moved an inch from his spot in bed, lazily blinking up at the ceiling while groaning and squinting away bits of sunlight speckling through window blinds. Yesterday had really not gone as planned at all, if he could even consider any of this to be a plan.

Dry swallowing, he finally shifts enough to feel an ache in his lower back, moistening the swollen glands in his throat. Something felt off, deciding it had to be grogginess from staying up hours into the late night to jack-off a few more times after your short conversation through text messages came to an end. Clueless little Omega supplying him material so naively, blindly feeding his Alphas desires. A few photos of your bare chest and stomach was more than enough, kindly thanking you and insisting you get some rest instead of dragging on your evening to talk to him.

Fingers reach for his dry morning lips to trace over, eyes fluttering shut replaying every soft breath, shy moan, and secret smile you’ve ever shared with him. Heeseung contemplates for a moment what he needs to do today, weighing the idea of canceling any plans in favor of rubbing his dick raw for the next few hours.

“Hmm..” patting around for his phone for a minute he finds it under a pile of clothes near the foot of his bed, lifting the device up and shooting up to sit upon the screen coming to life full of notifications.

Jakey: ANSWER YOUR PHONE ASSHOLE.

Jakey: You’re DEAD.

Jakey: ARE YOU FUCKING MY SISTER?!?

Jakey: I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF. ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!

A fit of coughs steal Heeseung’s breath, phone bouncing in his grip as sweat rushes to his palms. “Fuck fuck fuck, what the fuck.”

He has to think fast, anxiety ridden by the mass of text messages flooding his inbox, he feels short of breath, continuing to curse and pull at tufts of hair. You couldn’t have snitched on him?!? You wouldn’t! Right?

Heeseung tries to calm himself, standing up pacing back and forth as his phone pings with new messages, and then a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“You dick! What the fuck! What the fuck!” Jake screeches, he sounds out of breath himself. Spazzmatic and discombobulated, flying off the handles and immediately into a fit of rage. “MY SISTER?!? MY FUCKING BABY SISTER! YOU DICK! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!!”

“Jake! Jake!” Heeseung knocks his forehead against his closet door, overwhelmed by the amount of shouting and anger being flung at him. “What are you going off about!”

“My sister! I’m gonna kill you!”

“What about her?!”

Jake growls, pacing back and forth himself outside of your house. “Get over here right now. RIGHT NOW HEESEUNG!! I’M FUCKING SERIOUS. IF YOUR ASS ISN’T HERE IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES I’LL KILL YOU!”

The line falls dead making his head spin faster, bile races up to his throat unable to even process what’s just happened. Would you have told Jake? You wouldn’t… 

Heeseung moves on auto-pilot, refusing to even allow himself to journey to the sector of his mind that had started to believe you could actually like him. That this was more than just teaching you to pleasure another guy, another Alpha. He knows it’s fucked up, you don’t owe him that, you don’t owe him anything, but the one thing he asked was for Jake to never find out about your deal..

The short drive to his friend's house drags on for what feels like hours, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to distract himself and blasting the radio doesn’t work. Nothing can drown out the echo of Jake’s shouting or the dread weighing down his shoulders of either confessing and possibly losing his friend or coming up with a believable lie somehow.

I never touched her!

She came to me first! She begged me for it!

We just kissed, one time! It wasn’t serious!

Heeseung sighs driving through your street, slowing down to park as he nears your house.

I really like your sister Jake. I like her a lot, I always have. 

Fuck.

Jake’s standing outside fuming, already rushing for his car door screaming at him to get out. “My sister?!? You pervert!”

“Jake! Come on dude!” Heeseung’s grateful in that moment he has some size over his friend, wrapping around the shorters wrists to tug himself free from his grip, he shoves up onto his toes to create enough space between them. “What did I do!”

“You tell me!” Jake shoves his chest, mouth snapping shut and shaking his head as a loud cry sounds from the bedroom upstairs. Your bedroom, Heeseung’s attention immediately shifts, sniffing the air, skin prickling down his spine. 

Heeseung. Heeseung please. 

“She’s been calling your name all night,” Jake sneers, shoving the taller Alpha again. “Fucking filled the house with her scent, none of us can stand being in there. Why the fuck is my sister begging for my best friend, huh?!”

Heeseung’s lips open and part, throat drying up again the more he tries to focus and not barrel through your bedroom window somehow. “I… I don’t know..”

“Liar!” Jake pummels him, fisting the collar of his shirt with bared teeth. Another scream sounds from the house, clenching his eyes shut angrily. “You need to fix this.” He shoves the taller away, nodding toward the front door. 

“What??” Heeseung can’t control how dizzy he feels, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief. He must be asleep, he has to be dreaming, right? There’s no way Jake’s asking him to take care of you, to spend your heat with you.

“She needs you.” He sighs, stepping back and balling his fists at his hips. “You’re such an asshole Hee, anyone but her.”

“I didn’t..” Heeseung starts, shoulders falling as he shoves aside every excuse. “I’m sorry.”

Jake curses, the veins lining his forearm pulsating faster with each clench of his fists. Nails digging into his palms deep enough to cut skin. “If you hurt her, you’re a dead man.”

“I like her.” Heeseung stands tall, straightening out his back. “I like her a lot. I really fucking like her man..”

Jake shakes his head, nodding toward the house. “I’ll deal with you later. Can’t stand to hear her in pain anymore.” With that he tosses the house key to his best friend, possibly former friend, disappointment clear in the way his lips disappear into a thin line. “She needs you.”

Jake says no more, turning away with a middle finger over his shoulder without sparing Heeseung another glance. The Alpha seems dumbfounded, jerkily peering from the key burning through his palm to your bedroom window.

Heeseung. Heeseung, I need you.

This is a dream, this has to be a dream, maybe even a nightmare. From the floaty footsteps he takes, to the swirl of your thick syrupy scent levitating him up the stairs, this can’t be real.

Heeseung stares at the last steps before entering the hallway leading to your bedroom, imagining it crumbles beneath his foot, dropping him down to the pits of hell. A horrific fall to finally wake him up and ruin this fantasy, but it never comes.

Instead he ends at your door, surrounded by a swarm of your pretty anguished moans, dizzy from the smell of your arousal melting off the hallway walls. Each note so powerful, pronounced, landing in heavy slaps across his face making his brain rock around. 

Fuck this is crazy, this can’t be real. This just can’t be real. 

A desperate cry of his name shatters the imaginary rose-tinted glasses clouding his vision, gasping as you shriek and cry out loudly for him. Instinctive over logic has him reaching for your doorknob, hissing from the hot heat scolding the tips of his fingers. “Fuck, what the hell.”

Everything goes white when he finally pushes your door open, a humid wave of air burns his face, asphyxiated by the overwhelming potency of your aroused scent. It’s stronger than anything he’s ever smelled before, tying thick strings of sweetness around his lungs; trapping him under the spell of your mind-destroying aroma. His cock jumps before even looking up, struggling to even breathe between the whirlwind of emotions and sensations hitting him all at once.

“H-Heeseung????” 

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. You couldn’t sound more desperate, wanton, so damn pathetic and pliant. Drool pools around his tongue, slowly lifting his gaze toward the direction of your voice, choking on his next breath when he finds you. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the insane visual of your perfect curves glistening drenched in sweat, lips so so swollen from biting back cries and moans; eyes deliriously blazed out, irises full of bright golds lost in another dimension of heat. The epitome of hedonism, every wet dream and sad little fantasy he’s had for months that left him jerking off, whining and ejaculating alone into another pack of tissues. Too good to be true, his sweet sweet innocent pup, writhing up with your hand stretched out, beckoning him to claim you.

“Alpha!” It rips through him, slices right between his chest hitting every ligament and muscle, rupturing sharp cuts deep into his organs. The air stills as he reads your lips in slow motion; gliding across your bedroom floor as if possessed by some higher power. 

Mate.

Heeseung clenches his eyes shut, urging himself to wake up from this delusional dream. No way that his Alpha could have gone this far off the deep end to believe that you’d ever crave for him during your heat. 

“Heeseung!” 

He can see it clearly now, the week you and Jake moved to the neighborhood a few blocks away from his house. Growing up everyone hung out at the local playground after school, and everyday throughout summer. It’s just what kids did to let out energy and not stay cooped up inside all day.

He’d actually met you before Jake. It was the first week of riding your bike without training wheels, and you hadn’t been getting the hang of it very well. Heeseung remembers noticing you pedal and pause repeatedly, glancing around behind your back in search of something or someone. Fear etched your delicate features, seeming frustrated as you talked yourself into pedaling longer and finally getting the hang of it only to fall with a loud girlish scream booming around the courtyard. 

Ignoring his friends he jogged over to help you, hearing a bunch of taunts and snickers behind his back as he called time-out and made his way to assist you in getting up. The bike chain had trapped your ankle making tears spring to your eyes while you fought with it to escape.

“Hey..” Heeseung squatted down, hand hovering near. “Can I help?”

It was too early to say what either of you would be someday, but a part of you always saw the older as an Alpha. He always treated you differently from the rest of Jake’s friends, 

From that day on he always made sure to look out for you, Jake never minded it really. If anything he was happy to split the burden of caring for a younger sibling with his friend. Not that he could have predicted that same friend would end up being the one to try and fuck his sister.

Heeseung snaps back to reality, your hands caged tightly around his wrists scorching to the touch weakly attempting to pull him down. He wants to feel bad for you, laid out so pitifully there failing to acquire your Alpha.

“Use your words.” Bending closer to hover near your face, he kisses the backs of his teeth; his Alpha finally breaking free and taking over. “I wanna hear you ask for it.”

Confusion reflects back at him, already too gone and lost in your lust. He climbs onto your bed, overpowering your hold on him and gripping your jaw to keep your gaze on him. “Alphas going to take care of you, is that what you want?”

Heeseung’s never been with an Omega during their heat, but he’s watched plenty of videos. He’s the one that told you they make for good study material afterall. Taking in your flushed cheeks coated with a fresh sheen of sweat he swallows and cleans off the pools of tears gathering under your eyes. This is real, the fire emitting off your skin, your puffed lips parted open with strings of saliva connecting inside. All of it very very real.

“Alpha,” you croak out watery, sniffling back snot. It’s thrilling to feel this power over you, igniting a rush of excitement through his stomach and chest. “H-help me.” 

Heeseung can feel his temperature rise instantly, damn close to feverish the way his lungs shrink hearing your broken plea. 

“Hey hey..” leaning close to skim your lips, he breathes in a sigh of relief, every tight muscle and rigged joint in his body relaxing as your scent soothes through him in calming waves. “I’m here now, I’ve got you baby.”

He kisses passionately, more incessant than usual, licking past your tongue to taste the deep sectors of your mouth. The sound of your lips puckering together between spit and short breaths surrounds the room, magnified by the empty noise clogging your senses. Heeseung savors this calm before the storm, the exposure to your pleasured state of mind finally cracks him, taking toll on his last bits of sanity. He needs to fuck you into oblivion, make you his, hang you off his cock until its the only seat you’ll ever need.

Even then he tries his best to ignore how painfully engorged his dick has become, straining beneath his cotton boxers and sweats. He tries to ignore the way his spine has begun to tense up painfully, fighting through his muddled thoughts to stay focused on making you feel good.

Trapped between reality and a dream, he hasn’t even noticed the nest you’d made the other day lays mostly on the floor now, all except one piece half hidden under one of your pillows. The familiar black sleeve with white print catches his attention from the corner of his eye, pulling it out with a smile when your neck turns to nuzzle into the fabric slathered in a mixture of your combined scents. If not for the blockers you’d used the other day, Heeseung would have known right away that you were entering pre-heat, already hyper-fixated with having the Alpha by your side. The hoodie had been the last straw to shatter your normalcy, waking up with sweat dripping from every pore seeping into your bedding.

The Alpha inadvertently triggered your heat, unaware of his affect on you as you both kept up your acts to ultimately protect yourselves from getting hurt. 

“Baby..” you reach for his cheek, digits gliding past the buzzed hair lining the sides of his skull, undercut still fresh enough for blunt edges to scratch against your palms. “Say it again.”

Heeseung kisses the heel of your palm, cheek easing into your caressing touch. “Baby, my baby..” possessiveness blooms in his chest the more he repeats the loving nickname, eyes on your features relaxing as he kisses down the inside of your forearm, tracing each syllable out until he reaches your shoulder and nips your skin, pausing at your neck to inhale your scent gland. The smell of sweet creamy milk and fresh strawberries more potent than ever, coated in honey dripping down in dollops. Mouthwatering, that’s what your scent is, making his tongue fatten up and salivate, licking up your jawbone to nibble on your earlobe. “Baby.”

He licks into your mouth eating up the moans you keep letting out, obsessed with how fragrant and flavorful your saliva tastes, every part of you more alive and amplified by the need to be fucked; naturally emitting alluring pheromones to attract Alphas for pleasuring your every desire. Pulling away with a coat of your spit leaving a glossy finish on his lips, he takes in your dazed expression again, in disbelief that he gets to be the one to touch your body and fuck orgasm after orgasm out of you until you either beg for a break or pass out.

“Anything for my baby.”

Heeseung has to ready himself, sitting back on his knees with shaky hands wrapping around your calves. He’s more nervous than you’d ever know, wants this to be perfect for you, because this is all about you. This has always been about you. Buttery smooth skin melts between his digits, slowly gliding up to the backs of your knees and pausing to watch your chest rise and fall, adrenaline pumping through your veins making minutes feel more like hours and days. 

Parting your thighs open, he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, somehow still not over the sight of your pretty cunt. Always glistening with slick, spreading open as if to greet him. Even your pussy wants him, he thinks.

He swipes between the slit, pushing your folds apart to examine your hole, already gaping just begging to be fucked. The pool of slick under your ass more than enough to draw a groan out of the Alpha, his palm lays over your middle teasingly, the heel of his palm pressing to your clit. “Been touching your pretty pussy baby?”

He doesn’t expect your hips to jump up, the motion gluing his palm to your clit and ripping a string of moans out of you, to feel his thick heavy hand touching you instead of your more dainty fingers that fail to satisfy you enough.

“Did you think about me? Moaned for your Alpha to spread your slutty hole open?” He snarls, unable to stop teasing despite his cock raging, hanging heavy and stiff as a rock between his thighs.

“U—ughh, Alpha please!” You’re groveling already, sniffing away the tears trickling down to your nose. Bottom lip abused over by your teeth nipping and pulling to have something to bite on.

“Please what?” He asks, face serious with lifted eyebrows peering down at you condescendingly. Heeseung knows it’s mean to make you wait any longer, but he can’t resist from playing with you a little more, stroking down to circle your painful looking hole. “Ask nicely.”

He buries three fingers in at once to make a point, scissoring in and out to his first knuckle making your thighs fall apart more to watch his forearm jackhammer in and out, lines of veins pronounced up from his wrist working hard to stretch you out around his digits.

“Please…pleasepleaseplease,” lifting your neck uncomfortably, you watch him fuck in and out, mouth hung open drooling without shame. “F-fuck me, please! Heeseung, please!”

Heeseung grins, sliding out to smear your slick around and pinch your clit, forcing your hips to jump up. His wet hand slaps your thigh, nodding to the empty space beside you. “Present.”

Humiliation drains down your face knowing the Alpha wants you to display yourself on all fours much like the Omegas had in videos he’d ordered you to watch. Another slap to your thigh gets you moving, slowly turning over and dropping your back into a deep arch for your ass to jut out, cheek pressed flat to your bed to drown your whimpers.

“You can do better than that.” Heeseung snarls, fingers twitching by his hips to not reach out and do it himself, but you have to learn. These lessons were never about Jay to begin with, and he won’t start letting you fail now. “I said present.”

His voice shivers up your back, reaching to pull yourself apart and unveil your core for the Alpha, nails digging into the meat of your ass. The moan you let out hidden under whined whimpers and cries. Heeseung knows you like it nonetheless, hole vibrating for him, calling for him to shove his fat cock deep inside and fill your womb.

He lets it rain down on him, everything. Engulfed by your heady arousal, all of it for him. It will always be for him, only him. 

The Alpha sneers, bending down planting a kiss on your rim, surprising you to bounce forward; ass wobbling in your grip making his eyes roll up. “Greedy little cunt needs Alphas cock huh? ‘Wanna be filled up so bad don’t you pup?” 

Quickly discarding his clothing, he smooths over your hips, gripping the meat lining the sides of your spread open thighs. Ass perfectly rounded at the top, desperate to watch your tight little hole try to take his length. Stroking himself only a few times he trembles, locking the base in a tight grip as he moves closer on his knees to prod the tip against your entrance.

It’s a visual he’ll never forget, just working the tip around your pulsating hole. The band of it snapping around his bulbous cockhead divinely, to an excruciating point, having to use all of his willpower to not tear through your cunt and ram you into your bed.

Heeseung needs to see you though, forcing himself to not enter you all the way even when you whine and your ass ripples from the tremors driving up your spine. 

He needs to see your pretty wrecked face, savaged by the Alpha wishing to claim you. He gets you onto your back easily, wide gaze staring back at him surprised. “Hee?”

“This might hurt..” feeling up your inner thighs, he hauls your groin close to his, cock resting on your folds; the tip reaches up to your navel, groaning deeply at the difference in size. “Let me know if it’s too much.” Heeseung fails to finish his words, leaving out the ‘I’ll try to stop.’

“S’ok Hee.. trust you.” You say, so innocently, gazing up at him like some type of earth goddess. He’s not sure if he can stop now, lowering to lay chest to chest and brush his nose against yours. 

“I trust you too.” It feels like the right thing to say, and it’s the truth. He feels safe here with you, lost in this fever daydream you’ve created in your bedroom; more euphoric and a higher high than any drug. 

Heeseung can’t believe how wet you are, making it hard for him to properly penetrate you without reaching to direct his cock; slowly feeding the tip in without removing his gaze from your face. The small gasp you let out only makes him twitch, pushing in another inch. The discomfort evident in your nose wrinkling, eyebrows twisting together and the anguished moans you try to keep in. “Alpha.. h-hurts too much, s’too big..”

“I know baby,” he cooes, petting your hair and breathing against your lips. “It’ll get better, just trust me.” The Alpha wishes he could even trust himself, violently throbbing inside your overbearingly tight heat, the fit more snug than anything he’s ever felt before. “Gonna move okay?”

He pulls out only a few inches, experimenting with his next thrust, falling into a short succession without breaking eye-contact. Lips pulled back over his teeth trying to hold himself back, the second your moans switch from pained to pleasure jostles his brain. 

“Good? Feels good, yeah?” He pants, aching to really fuck you, not even letting you get in a full nod before pulling out to the tip and thrusting back in earnest. Fucking into you harder, his balls start to clap against your ass, grunting and moaning with each bury of his cock inside your suffocating heat. “Oh, you’re so good.”

Heessung can hear your sobs, your thighs trembling around him, cunt suctioning around his thick girth trying to keep him out. “Fuck, gonna make me cum already. You have to cum for me first baby.” He reaches down, the tips of his fingers pressing firmly to your clit, pushing side to side bursting shocks through your nerves.

“O-oh! Hee! Alpha! G-gonna c-cum!” 

Heeseung speeds up from there, chasing your orgasm, chasing his own, keeping his dick deep inside you with each hard slam. Hands slap down on his shoulders, scratching red irritated skin up with your nails dragging down. Choking on your sobs and whimpers as your hips jump up and black covers your eyes. A white static noise fills your ears, head spinning, jerking under the Alphas pummeling thrusts. 

He curses, hissing from the burn of your nails digging in, growling through his balls squeezing up and pushing him over; cock spilling through his thrusts. Some of it pouring deep inside of you, most spilling out as he draws out and slows down. 

Choking back what he wants to say he finds your lips, silently sharing his feelings with a searing kiss, tongue reaching to the back of your mouth as he comes to a stop. 

Fucking immaculate. Perfect, you’re so damn perfect. 

Heeseung praises you for taking him so good, shaped around his cock like you’re meant to be used everyday. It’s enough to satiate you for a bit, and finally rest your heavy eyes until the Alpha wakes up with your face buried between his thighs.

As much as he wants to watch his cum drip out of your ruined hole, he can’t fight the urge to shove his tongue inside. It’s too good, your sweet pussy squeezing around him in shock, the taste of his release mixed together with yours. Fuck, it might be the best thing he’s ever tasted. Pushing the globes of your ass open further to shove his tongue in deeper, he groans similar to a hungry dog, tongue lapping akin to one getting in their daily hydration. 

Heeseung thoroughly works in and out of your hole, licking up the slick between your folds and down to your clit, stealing another orgasm out of you as he senselessly rolls his tongue around, never wanting to live another day without his face buried in your pussy. Pulling away finally to breathe, his face is a mess of slick and spit, highlighting his nose like it’s meant to be there.

“Still so wet for me.” He pants, relishing the taste of your wetness, licking his mouth clean. “Tastes so good for me.” 

Helping you onto your back, he kisses up to your face, spending extra time licking your navel and breasts, sucking your nipples to pebbled rocks. Settling back between your thighs, he slots back in, rubbing the tip up and down to slicken up his length. “Wanna fuck you over and over again, you want that baby, want me to fuck you full of cum again?” He rasps, vocals already tight and dry from moaning.

“Please, need it, need more Alpha.” 

Heeseung thinks he might go insane, pressing in and angling his hips to hit your pleasure point with each thrust. Hips initially stuttering as he builds up a rhythm and fucks into you faster, cock vigorously pounding into you hard; only held in place by his arms latching onto your shoulders. “It’s all for you baby.”

Heeseung thinks you must be an angel, lit up by rays of sun sneaking past your curtains. Even your hair somehow fall’s perfectly, sculpting and contouring the highlighted peaks of your skin, glowing after resting up and waking to your Alpha snuggled against your back. 

He insisted you eat something before getting back to it, settling on stuffing you with his cock to quell your insatiable need to feel full as long as you at least finish a power bar for him; one typically used to ensure Alphas and Omegas keep up their energy with proper nourishment through ruts and heats. It took more coaxing to feed you bottles of water, having to fuck you a few more times before calming your heat enough for you to swallow from the bottle he places on your lips.

“How’re you feeling?” Heeseung slurs, lying lazily beneath you, petting different shapes of patterns onto your back and listening to your breath return to a normal rate.

“Better, thanks to you Alpha.” 

It never lasts too long, these calm tender moments. A few words at best before you’re seeking his length again, pressing your slicked up folds around his length, building up a grind with pointed swivels of your hips. Better, but not good enough to break your heat, this one your worst so far. Suppressants and blockers helped before Heeseung had unleashed new worlds for you to explore. The Alpha had become a daily daydream, aimlessly sitting around often wondering what he could be up to right now. What else does he do besides hang out at your house playing video games and basketball, and more importantly why isn’t he here sneaking off to your bedroom again.

Thoughts of the Alpha spiraled constantly, finding yourself staring at him more than anyone else these days. His handsome features captured your attention more now, growing numb to them the more you grew up around each other and convinced yourself that you never had a crush on Heeseung. Nothing to do with your first dance with heartbreak when he introduced you to his first girlfriend, the first of many you’d come to learn.

Tickling up past his biceps, you trap his wrists above his head, circling repetitive motion creating a delicious friction for the both of you. Slick reaches up high on his chest, blending in perfectly with sweat rippling through divots of muscle and red bitten flesh. Everything you touch burns hot, every sound louder and crisp clear, and every brush along your clit flutters your eyes shut, neck dropping back releasing loud moans the more you ride his length.

Heeseung’s groaning, nose scrunched up to keep his eyes focused on your euphoric gaze and breasts swinging closer to his mouth the harder and faster you hump up and down his cock. Throbbing against your clit with every rough planted push of your hips. Lips latch to your nipple, catching you off guard as he sucks and bites around your puffy aroused areola. 

Slick hits his abdomen, jerky thrusts roll down as you hunch over and loosen your grip on him, limply falling closer allowing him to suck around your breast. Heeseung digs his hips up making you jolt, thigh lifting to turn your bodies over and lay you beneath him, wanting to watch your face crumble when you take his knot finally.

The mess of slick covering both of your torsos is beyond obscene, your cunt still leaking profusely leaving stains all over your bed that washing will never be able to remove. Massaging your own release up to your breasts he slots between your folds again, controlling the slide this time and running the tip of his cock over your bundle of nerves faster until your thighs break intro tremors over his hips; using your near breach of pleasure to push the entirety of his length in. 

Fuck. He’ll never get tired of this. Not the way you clamp around him so tight, pussy sucking around him as if you’ll never let go. Not the saccharin moans you let out, and not the pretty way your back bows upward; eyes rolled up enthralled by the mass stretching you open.

“Need to knot..” his eyebrows furrow together, pressing on the bulge that formed beneath your navel. Most of it from loads and loads of cum filling up your cervix, protruding out near pornographic with the tip of his cock reaching deep enough to lift your mound. “That has to hurt baby.”

Any other time you might agree, shove his chest away and cry for him to pull it out. Under the spell of heat you only grind into him, working his cock to press against your walls deliciously. The Alpha growls from his chest, concentrating on how stretched you look sucking around the middle of his cock, fucking yourself up and down too slow for his liking. 

Digging into the backs of your thighs he hoists your legs up onto his biceps, just enough to watch his cock pummel in and out of you. Pussy skin locked around him, sucked on his cock with each pull back before thrusting it back to disappear inside of you. “Fuck, how are you still so tight. Taking all this dick, need to breed you baby. Fuck you full over and over again.” He pants, shoving your thighs together to one side, ankles locked together dangling behind his shoulder. Palms clap down on your hip, the side of your exposed thigh; bed creaking noisily the faster his pace builds up, the headboard knocking against the wall hard enough to form a dent.

“Want you to take it, take all of it.” He groans, voice deep and raspy. Cock slamming in and out, in and out, pushing slick and bits of fresh cum out to trickle past your rim; landing in a filthy pool of arousal on your ruined bedding. “Gonna fucking breed you all the time now, fill you with pups everyday. You’d like that right? Fuck you pregnant again and again.”

Heeseung’s rambling, spewing nonsense, going crazy from his knot finally finally beginning to expand. He can’t stop now, no matter how loud you whimper and cry out, little fists wrapped around his hoodie above your head. Eyes glazed over, rolling back with your neck lifted fully exposing your perfect throat; even more perfect when you wear his mark someday.

His teeth itch imagining dropping forward, digging them in until you bleed and pass out on his knot. Tearing his gaze away he drops your thighs open, chest sucked in awe at how obscenely stretched you are, the start of his knot struggling to thrust past your tight hole. “Such a good Omega, perfect fucking pussy, swallowing me so good pup.” 

He whines, bending down to lick into your mouth. Biceps caging your head and finding your fists to circle around. Leveraging his weight, he pushes up using his hold on your hands, chest hovering above your face. “Perfect for me. So. Fucking. Perfect.”

Heeseung can feel his orgasm nearing, thrusts turning sloppy and miscalculated, his legs shaking from fucking into you, using more force to fill you to the brim. 

“Hee— n-no more, c-can’t.” Breathy pleads pour from your lips, ragged and choked only aided by each delivery of his hips colliding into the backs of your thighs.

“You can, my good girl, my good fucking baby. So good for me.” Heeseung lands flat on top of you, hips racing to orgasm as he reaches to circle your clit, pinching the bundle of nerves pushing you into over sensitivity. Slick drenches his stomach and thighs, dripping down to his balls, clapping against your ass wet and loud. 

“Gonna cum—“ his forehead wrinkles, fingers shoving in-between yours to squeeze down, forcing the fat base of his knot in past your wet entrance. It’s not easy, only able to bury half of it in past your twitching rim. The sound of uh-uh-uh-uh moans out by his ear, stirring his brain into a frenzy. He can’t stop the brutal snap of his hips, face dripping in sweat, hair matted to his head; collapsing as the first spurt of cum shoots out inside of you. Knot swelled up to full size, pussy snagged tightly around him; milking every last bit of release out of him.

The Alpha hisses, nose burying into your cheek, relief finally easing his back, loosening his tight muscles to relax and kiss down your jaw. “You take my knot so well, you’re so good for me.”

Dropping down to your neck, he licks it clean of sweat, littering kisses to your scent gland. Cock grinding as he tries to catch his breath. He can feel it again. The need to claim and mate..

The Alphas canines burn, aching up into his gums and incinerating the roots connected to his nerves, every vessel inside him pulses loudly, shouting mate mate mate. The heady half-lidded lost stare behind your eyes only triggers his wolf all the more, tongue dragging against the sharp tips of his eye-teeth hungrily bouncing back and forth from your tear stained face to the exposed juncture of your neck, veins pulsating vibrantly as if begging him to bury his teeth in and take a bite.

“Alpha..” 

Fuck. Blood rushes to his skull, holding his breath to not fall under the spell of your succulent scent luring him deeper past limits of sanity. If he gives in, everything will change between the two of you. You could hate him, too disoriented to even fully understand what you’re asking him to do. He knows that, knows that once your heat passes you’ll regret it, the risk of being on the receiving end of your wrath controls his feral need to tear your throat to shreds. A shame to not leave you marked and claimed for no other Alpha to even dare to glance at again. Fire erupts through his chest needing something, something to quell his natural predatory instinct.

“Bite me.” He groans sharp and clear, cutting through the thick haze of stuffy humid air clouding your bedroom.

“Huh, what???” Still reeling from post-orgasmic bliss and on the brink of passing out, you peer at him like he just grew another head. 

“Bite me.. need you to..” Heeseung speaks through gritted teeth, lowering the long expanse of his throat down to your mouth, hot lips graze the soft skin covering his scent gland. The Alphas scent comes off distressed this close to your nose, spiking with urgency and desire, but hinting putrid undertones just enough to have your Omega spiraling into a panic.

What if our Alphas unhappy with us? What if he doesn’t see us as good enough now? What if we don’t meet his standard for a mate? 

Every worry and fear barrels into you at once, sorrowful howls following, twisting your gut into an uncomfortable wrench. The need for reassurance has you digging into your Alphas shoulders, nails scraping deeply into his pretty sun-kissed skin. Heeseung groans and hisses, neck never leaving your lips even when you press him in closer and brush your nostrils up and down his pulse to leave a heavy claim of your scent stuck on him.

Unaware of your rushed thoughts he scoops your nape, hoisting your neck up more, repeating to bite him again. The proximity and desperation sends your Omega over the moon, teeth grazing his throat with light nips to ready yourself. 

“Bite me hard.” Heeseung’s voice trembles, eyes fluttering shut as your teeth finally sink in, instantaneously dropping his weight down on you. The feral monster on his back scurrying away as you suck around his tender flesh, teeth digging in enough for it to hurt. The lick of pain calms his Alpha, releasing your neck to lay flat on top of you and crush your air flow in the process, having to bite down harder to keep the Alpha alert.

He grunts softly, shifting off to your side to not plaster you. “Hurts..” Heeseung’s eyes drop shut, breathing out raggedly while you lick up the indentations of marked skin and brand new wounds sprouting up. 

It’s uncommon, simp shit really, for an Alpha to proudly display the mark of their Omega. Let alone any Omega, especially one that has nothing on their neck to stake claim. In disbelief he not only let you bite him, but asked you to, he ducks and turns away; back facing you as his mind clears enough to realize what he’s done.

“Alpha?” The helplessness in your tone shivers down his back, unable to stop himself from turning back around to wrap you in a tight hug chest to chest. 

The two of you share quiet words, intently gazing into each other’s eyes as your wolves frolick side by side. Rejoicing to finally be together, their loving warmth radiating around your naked figures.

“What now?” You whisper, asking fearfully. Heeseung hates that he’s made you worry, hates that you’d even have to wonder or question him.

“Now..” Heeseung starts, voice rough and husky. “I beg Jake not to kill me, and allow me to court his sister properly..”

“You wanna court me?” You try to not laugh, a habit whenever you feel shy, tucking your face into his neck to hide. “You don’t have to.. just because we—“

“I really like you.” Heeseung stops you, tilting his neck back enough to watch your face. “Maybe more than I’ve ever let on.. and I’m sorry about that. I should have said something sooner, but you always liked Jay..”

The Alpha masks how much saying his friends name annoys him, feeling more vulnerable wrapped around you with your wolves connected. It’s not a strong enough connection to fully satisfy either of you, but it’s enough to calm you down before your next surge of heat takes over again.

“You know,” you sigh, shoving your nose against his. “I liked you way before Jay.”

“You don’t have to lie to me..” Heeseung can feel blush rise up his cheeks, the rush of hot blood traveling all the way down to his nose exposing how humiliated he feels.

“I’m not lying, I never thought..” you huff a laugh, head shaking. “..you know, you always treated me in a way that made me feel like you’d only ever see me as Jake’s younger sister. All protective and stuff, even lecturing me about boys and Alphas after that one time..”

Heeseung knows you mean when he scolded you for having snuck a boy up to your bedroom, later on becoming familiar with your best friend and having no worries that the two of you wouldn’t be getting up to much again. “I care about you.”

“Yeah?”

He wonders if you even realize he just begged you to bite him, scoffing a laugh as you bat your eyelashes at him and throw your thigh over his hip eagerly. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Show me how much you care, Alpha.”

“Can’t believe you let her bite you.” Jay scoffs, reaching to flick his taller friend's neck. “That’s some genuine bitch shit dude. Real piece of work she marked you with there too. No Omegas going to even look at you now.”

Heeseung grunts, shoving his friend away as they wait outside of your house, hand coming up to trace the scab marks your sharp canine teeth left behind. He can’t stop himself from aimlessly stroking over the area throughout the day, floating off to a warm place in his mind where only you exist. “Can’t believe Jake hasn’t tried to kill you either, if it was my little sister you’d be dead by now.”

“She’d never let him.” Heeseung says proudly, leaning back against the passenger seat of his car. “Jakey’s learning to.. accept it.”

Jay shrugs, blowing out a low whistle and repositioning himself to lean back as well. “It’s funny though you know..”

Heeseung hums, quirking an eyebrow at the Alpha. “What is?”

Jay laughs uncomfortably, scratching his neck over the heart-shaped birthmark adorning the side of his throat; a usual nervous tick of his. “It’s probably stupid, but I always thought she liked me?”

Heeseung can feel his chest lurch, swallowing down a quick flash of anger and digging the tips of his fingers into the bite marks gracing his skin, as if to seal them in place permanently. “You’re right, pretty stupid. Besides, she’s way out of your league.”

Jay laughs sarcastically, surprised by the unnecessary aggressive comment, shaking his head and pushing off the car to stand on the sidewalk more at eye-level with the taller Alpha. “I guess you’re right..” trailing off he shifts awkwardly for a minute, nodding to himself. “Always thought you liked her as more than just a friend anyway..”

Heeseung straightens out hearing a creak from your front door opening, attention fully focused on the smile lighting up your face, not even noticing Jake glaring from behind as you exit and stride directly over to him. His chest swells, never once breaking away from your gaze that's just for him; lit up brighter than the sun on the hottest day of summer. It’s all for him, you are all for him.

Mine, all mine. 

Heeseung smiles wide, opening his arms wide to wrap around you. “Always.”

lee heeseung - the brother's best friend trope

"what if he comes home early?" "then we're fucked, but at least we'll be fucked together."

summary : keeping your crush on heeseung a secret from heeseung was hard, but keeping it a secret from sunghoon was even harder. what do you do when you accidentally fall in love with your older brothers best friend?

you sneak around behind his back of course.

word count : 29,000 (how did i do that lol)

includes : severe angst, fluff and smut

read the other volumes?

PART 2 HERE

🤎

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology @person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @ily-cuz-i @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams @liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou (sorry if i forgot anyone, please reblog!!!)

being park sunghoon's little sister was difficult.

it was difficult already to have an older brother that annoys you every five seconds, but it was even more difficult because he just had to have hot friends.

hot friends that sunghoon made sure knew that you were completely off-limits.

when sunghoon entered high school, he was immediately somehow made popular and quickly made a small friend group with the other popular boys in his grade; jay park and jake shim. another boy, who was a year older than sunghoon also hung out with them quite frequently; lee heeseung.

though you were only a year younger than sunghoon, he treated you like you were five years old. your friends thought that it was sweet that sunghoon was so protective of you- but you thought the complete opposite about it. since he treated you like a baby- that meant his friends treated you like a baby.

sunghoon's friends knew that if he ever caught them even glancing at you for more than a mere second, they would get reprimanded by sunghoon in an instant. sometimes they even thought that sunghoon was a little too protective of you, but then again sunghoon knows how his friends think and how they treat girls. he doesn't want you to get heartbroken like the thousand other girls they have played.

the first time you ever saw lee heeseung was when you were just starting year 8 at your school. sunghoon had brought home heeseung one day after school so they could play some video games together. heeseung was in year 10 at the time, and he was just starting to grow into his features. that didn't stop you from almost physically drooling over him when he first stepped foot into your kitchen.

you remember your mother introducing herself to heeseung, smiling at him and welcoming them into your home, but what she said exactly is all a blur because you were so in shock about how and why this hot guy was friends with your brother.

"that's y/n, but you don't have to talk to her she's pretty annoying." sunghoon's voice got you out of your drooling session. sunghoon pointed his thumb over his shoulder at you before going into the fridge to get him and heeseung a drink before they head up to his room.

"hi, y/n." heeseung said softly with a smile as he stood at the table beside you, waiting for your brother.

"hi." you forced yourself to say, surprising yourself when it came out in a normal tone.

"okay, my room's this way, i'll show you my games and we can play whatever one you want." sunghoon shrugged, leading heeseung up the stairs. "oh and y/n," sunghoon stopped and called to you from the middle of the staircase, making heeseung turn back around to look at you, "don't bug us, seriously, i mean it."

"wha- i won't!" your jaw dropped out of embarrassment and ridicule, "why would i wanna go into your musty room anyways." you rolled your eyes, turning your body away so they wouldn't see the flash of pink on your cheeks from the humiliation.

"shut up, it is not musty." sunghoon grumbled, turning again to head upstairs, you heard a soft chuckle from heeseung as he also turned around and followed your brother up the stairs.

after that day, you saw heeseung at your house a couple of times per month, along with jay and jake. they quickly turned into regular guests at your house, walking into your residence without even knocking by the end of the school year. your parents had started acting like they had just randomly gained three extra sons.

at first, whenever you were around jay or jake, you could sense that they were a bit reluctant to talk to you. you figured that it was just because you were younger than them. there would be times when jay and you would be cracking jokes in the living room whilst he waited for your brother to finish getting ready, and as soon as he heard sunghoon come down the stairs, jay would back away from you and act as if he didn't know anything about you.

jake didn't really care if sunghoon saw him smile at you, or even just acknowledge your presence. though, you could tell sunghoon got a bit annoyed when he saw jake interacting with you. still, jake would never be caught dead being alone in a room with you, just in case, sunghoon decided to end their friendship then and there because of it.

heeseung, on the other hand, the one that was the most introverted out of all of them, did not care about sunghoon's stupid over-protectiveness of you. heeseung always made sure to say hi to you, to open the door for you when you all started walking to high school together. he didn't care about what sunghoon said or thought because heeseung knew how much sunghoon trusted and adored him. sure, it was annoying seeing his best friend talking to his little sister, but not as annoying as seeing jay or jake talk to her.

sunghoon and his friends loved to party.

usually, the party would happen at your house since your parents frequently liked to go away on weekends- whether it was work-related or if they just needed a little getaway.

during your first year in high school, sunghoon and his friends were having another notorious party at your house. sunghoon had forbidden you to come downstairs and join the party.

you argued with him for hours, but eventually gave up when he didn't seem to be budging.

for hours that night, you heard the music blasting downstairs, along with other teenagers laughing and seemingly having the time of their lives. you so badly wanted to go downstairs and join them.

you lay awake in your dark bedroom, the only light in the room from the moon that shone through your white curtains. every now and then you would hear someone in the hallway, either laughing or whispering until they eventually found a room to crash in.

you mentally apologized to your parents for leaving their bedroom door unlocked.

you think you were just about to fall asleep to the heavy bass downstairs until your phone vibrated on your bedside table beside you.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you immediately sat up in your bed, sleep leaving you and now being replaced with adrenaline.

why was lee heeseung wondering if you were awake at this late hour?

you scoffed at the thought, probably checking to see if you were up past your bedtime.

you : yeah i am

there was a quick reply from him.

heeseung 🤎 : can i come see you?

you : sure

you started brushing down your hair, hoping that it didn't look too crazy from your head grazing your pillow. your blanket is wrapped around your chest as you wait for him. unsure of what to expect from him.

when ten minutes go by with no sign of him, you sigh and lay back down again, thinking that he's forgotten about you, wouldn't be the first time, you mentally deadpanned, cringing at the memory.

a few months ago, heeseung was staying the night at your house like he usually does. only this time, sunghoon was away with your parents at your aunt's house for her birthday. you had stayed behind because you weren't feeling well and didn't want to get the rest of your family sick. your parents thought that it would be okay to leave you there for the weekend, as heeseung could help watch over you.

it was late at night, probably around the same time that it is now, and you hear heeseung laughing downstairs. you figured that maybe he was watching a tv show or scrolling on his phone.

until you heard a girl's voice.

you remember feeling like all the hairs on your body stood up at once as you took in what was probably happening downstairs. you weren't sure what to do.

you heard heeseung and the girl come upstairs and walk past your bedroom, into his- into the guest- bedroom. you remember closing your eyes and trying to imagine that this wasn't happening. the guy that you liked wasn't about to have sex with a girl in the room beside yours! no, of course not!

that thought worked for maybe five minutes until you heard the soft rocking of the bed against the wall across the room from you.

"shit," you whispered to yourself, your hands coming up to cover your face as you tried to accept your reality.

low grunts and high moans were being heard in the house now. every now and then you could hear the girl whimper out heeseung's name. you tried to not pay attention to it, but the more you listened the more insight you got on what heeseung was like in bed.

your thighs clamped together as you continued to listen. you felt so dirty but your panties were getting soaked at the thought of sweaty heeseung leaning over you and pounding into you just as hard as he was pounding into the girl in the other room.

her moans were getting louder and louder and you figured she was getting close to her climax- the climax that heeseung was giving her.

if you tried really hard, you could tune out her moans and hear heeseung's grunts, you could tell that he was whispering something to her every now and then, with the way his grunts would stop and her loud whines would answer him.

the bed stopped rocking, and their moans and grunts came to a stop. and your house returned to the silence that it once was. you strained your ears to try to hear something, but there was nothing. you figured that they had passed out right after they finished.

you tried to stop, but your fingers danced their way down to your panties, needing to get off because of lee heeseung once again. you had only ever imagined him in a sexual way, but now you had some fuel for your fantasies.

the next morning, you woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing. quickly remembering the events of the night before, you ran to your window and sneakily looked outside to see who had left.

heeseung was standing outside on the front step in only grey sweatpants as he hugged the girl goodbye.

you didn't know exactly who the girl was, but you knew that she was in your grade. she was really pretty, you had heard some other boys in your classes talk about her before. she was slim and popular and you knew that she was on the dance team at school. there was no wonder as to why heeseung would want to have sex with her. she was borderline perfect.

they pulled away from their hug and she started walking down the street to leave, heeseung came back inside.

you quietly ran into the bathroom before heeseung came back upstairs. you left your bedroom door opened to indicate that you were no longer in there.

you took a long sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked exhausted and stressed, something so much different than the way the pretty girl looked in the morning. you felt your pounding headache come back at all the thoughts that occurred the night before.

when you reopened the bathroom door, heeseung was standing at the top of the stairs, a look of surprise and shock on his face as he looked at you. at least he was wearing a sweater now, you didn't know how you were supposed to talk to him while he was shirtless.

"oh! y/n! hi!" heeseung greeted, scratching the back of his neck, "sorry, i, uh, forgot you were home this weekend too, how are you feeling?" he smiled at you, taking in your appearance.

suddenly feeling self-conscious and awkward, you wrapped your sweater closed around you, "I'm feeling a bit better." you shrugged at him, trying to keep cool as if you didn't just hear him fuck the living shit out of a girl last night - and then got off on it after!

"that's good!" heeseung nodded, and a beat of silence passes through you two, "sorry, if i was loud last night, i didn't mean to keep you up if i did."

"no you weren't!" you let out quickly, heeseung put a small smile on your face, "i mean uh, i didn't hear anything, i took some cold medicine and passed out until this morning."

"oh, okay. that's probably why you feel better now."

"yeah! exactly! so uh, I'm just, gonna go back to bed for a little while longer, i guess." you pointed at your bedroom door behind him.

"oh, you don't wanna watch a movie or anything? i was thinking we could watch one of sunghoon's movies that he forbids you to watch, don't worry, i wouldn't tell him." heeseung smiled at you.

"uh, maybe not today. i just want to sleep the rest of this cold off." you nodded, looking down at the carpet.

"aw, okay. i hope you feel better, y/n!" heeseung patted you on the back sincerely.

"Thanks." you got out quickly, making a dart for your bedroom, wanting to get away from his touch even if it was something so platonic. you sighed out of relief as you closed your bedroom door, thank god he didn't hear you that night.

but now, as the party downstairs continued and your heart was racing with anxiety while your mind was racing with thoughts of heeseung, you couldn't help but feel hurt with the fact that he had forgotten you again. why would he even text you in the first place?

suddenly your bedroom door slowly opened, the music getting louder for a second as a figure slipped quietly before shutting it again. you sat up as heeseung turned to look at you.

"'m sorry, were you sleeping?" heeseung whispered out to you as he approached your bed. you were sure if he got closer to you, he would be able to hear how fast and loud your heart was beating. you tried to speak out but all you could think was lee heeseung is in my bedroom, so you shook your head no.

heeseung bent over your bed, allowing a small scent of alcohol to wash around your room. he was drunk.

"i wish sunghoon would let you join our parties." heeseung slurred, his hands holding his upper body up on your bed.

"why?" you asked, amused at heeseung's drunk confession.

"because i wanna hang out with you."

your heart raced faster, trying to piece words together to reply to him.

"sunghoon treats you like a little girl just because you're his little sister but i know you're not so little. you're a grown teenager now."

your heart swelled now, happy that finally, finally, someone didn't see you as a baby. you were glad that that person was heeseung.

"thank you," you whispered back quietly, trying to hold your giant smile in from his words. you heard him deeply chuckle in response. "why'd you wanna come to talk to me anyway?"

"because i wanted to see you, i always have fun with you."

"mm," you nodded, playing with your blanket out of nervousness, "i have fun with you, too." heeseung smiled at that.

"you look pretty in the moonlight."

your eyes widened at his compliment, unsure of what to say. heeseung's deep chuckle broke the silence between you, "fuck, i think i drank too much, sunghoon would kill me if he knew i was in here."

"no, it's okay." you shook your head, gaining some confidence to look at him as he stood up straight again.

heeseung scoffed, "sunghoon would most definitely not think it was okay."

"who cares what hoon thinks? you said so yourself, i'm not a little girl. i can talk to whoever i want."

you see heeseung bite his lip in your dark room, he stares at you intently as if he's contemplating what to do before he snaps out of it. he turns his head away from you and brushes his bangs out of his face.

"fuck, i should go. i'll see you tomorrow, or at school now, i guess." heeseung smiled, "it's cool seeing you in the hallways now." you smiled down at your blanket again, not wanting heeseung to see your blush.

"see you at school, hee."

heeseung smiled once he was back in the hallway, happy to hear his nickname slip off of your tongue so easily.

heeseung never came into your bedroom ever again after then, and never mentioned the incident. you wondered if he even remembered talking to you that night since he was so intoxicated. if your little interaction affected him you'd never know, but it did increase your attraction to him.

summer breaks at your house were always fun since your family had a pool. the parties were more fun in the summer than you'd know since you never got to go to them, but you heard around school that everyone liked your pool.

you liked when just the regular boys would come over; jake, jay, and of course heeseung, when sunghoon would let you hang out with him and his friends for once.

you were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, reading a book that you weren't really interested in but you were so bored. the four boys were splashing around in the pool, having fun. you were in your own world until cold, wet hands came and picked you up from your chair, making you drop your book at the action.

"sunghoon! no!" you cried out while laughing, your older brother picking you up over his shoulder and making a straight bee-line to the pool. "no!" you laughed mid-air as he threw you into the pool.

when you resurfaced you put a teasing scowl on your face as you looked up at your brother who still stood at the edge of the pool, bent over from laughing. "sunghoon, no!" he mocked your voice.

"shut up!" you whined, pushing your now wet hair back away from your face so it looked a bit cleaner.

"now you're gonna play chicken fight with us, right y/n?" jake smiled at you from across the pool.

"hell no!" you shook your head, you've seen them play chicken fight before and they were ruthless.

"just play one game y/n! we'll put you up against jake so you can win!" jay laughed, shoving jake beside him.

"what the hell is that supposed to mean? jake gasped looking offended.

"come man, you know you suck at chicken fight." sunghoon said, getting back into the pool.

"come on y/n, you can be on my team." heeseung said from beside you, you weren't sure how he got there, but his perfect smile and sun-tanned skin easily persuaded you to cave in and play one game with them.

"okay." you agreed, and next thing you know you're being lifted out of the water and onto heeseung's shoulders. you laugh as you try to balance yourself on top of him. his warm hands wrapping around your thighs to help you.

"you good?" heeseung asked you, trying to look up at you above him.

"yeah! we better win!" you cheered out.

"as if," jake responded, him now sitting on top of jay's shoulders, "we're gonna win so don't even try y/n!"

heeseung and jay started moving closer to each other with you and jake on their shoulders. your hands were pushed out in front of you, ready to defend yourself against jake.

"come here, jakey." you teased out to him, showing him that you're ready.

"you're gonna get it, y/n, i mean it!" jake called out, his hands pushing against yours already.

it took a few pushes and pulls, but luckily, heeseung is really good at balancing you and himself against jay and jake's efforts.

with one final push to jake's forearms, he goes falling back into the water, taking jay with him.

"god, jake! did you have to trap my head in between your legs?" jay sputtered as he came out from the water.

"Sorry! i was stressed!" jake replied sheepishly.

"woohoo! good game y/n!" heeseung cheered, setting. you down into the water and high fiving you.

"i told you we'd win!" you pointed your finger at jake who only pouted in response, making everyone else laugh at him. you felt immense pride in your and heeseung's teamwork, wishing that you could be on heeseung's team all the time now.

later on, when you got out of the pool, ready to go back inside, you could feel someone's eyes on you. sunghoon had gone inside to get a drink, leaving only you and his three friends.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see that it was jay staring at you. his lip tucked in between his teeth as he stared at your legs. feeling suddenly naked under his and probably the other two's eyes, you went to grab your towel to find that it was already gone. fucking sunghoon. he probably didn't realize that he took your towel, but god what a wrong time to mistake it.

"here, y/n." heeseung said from beside you suddenly, "you can use mine." you look down and see that he's giving you his towel to wrap around your body.

"uh, thanks hee, i'll get sunghoon to bring out another one for you." you smiled, trying to quickly wrap it around your body so it was out of view for others to see. it's not like you cared if anyone looked, but you were so socially anxious around hot boys that it made you want to cover up before they could stare at you further.

"no problem." heeseung smiled, moving aside so you could go inside. you stayed by the screen door for a second once you were in, letting go of the breath you were apparently holding in.

"c'mon, man, sunghoon could've been right there!" you heard heeseung's voice grunt out suddenly.

"i know i know! i can't help it! did you see her?' jay's voice carried out, desperation evident in his voice.

"fuck, jay, we can't be talking about this, you know she's off-limits." heeseung replied with frustration.

off-limits.

it rang through your head over and over again and you hated it. you hated sunghoon for treating you like a baby. you hated him for having such hot friends. you hated him for ruining your chances with lee heeseung. if you ever had any. it seemed like you could get any one of their attention besides heeseungs.

and that was something you would make sure would change.

when heeseung graduated high school the next year, it was a sad day for everyone, including your parents. you tried to hide your sadness at the thought of not seeing heeseung around as much since he was to go to college in the capital city, a few hours away from your hometown.

heeseung would no longer be caught raiding your fridge for food at 3am, no longer seen sitting on the bottom step waiting for sunghoon to finish getting ready, and no longer heard laughing about something stupid in the living room.

but of course, you couldn't tell anyone about how upset you were about heeseung leaving. sunghoon would absolutely kill you if he heard that you had a crush on his best friend. plus, you knew that all heeseung ever saw you as was his best friend's annoying little sister.

since your parents were basically losing their non-biological son to college, they decided to have a huge dinner on the night after graduation. the night before, sunghoon, jay, jake, and heeseung had all gone to a graduation party and returned back to your house completely wasted at 5am. when your parents and you woke up the next day, you weren't even sure where the boys were until they all wandered down the stairs at dinner time. they all looked absolutely hungover that it made you chuckle when sunghoon sat down beside you.

"shut it, y/n." sunghoon grumbled to you, shoving your shoulder as he waited or your parents to start bringing the dinner to the table.

"i didn't say anything, hoon." you teased, playing with your fork as you avoided eye contact with your older brother.

"you didn't have to, i can see what you're thinking on that stupid face of yours." sunghoon rolled his eyes.

"god, you're so-" you started but was cut off by your mother bringing in the large chicken she had spent the past two days on making.

"okay!" she interrupted with a smile, obviously trying to avoid the both of you fighting. "here's the chicken! everyone starts to dig in!"

immediately all the boys began taking pieces of chicken and other side foods and putting them on their plates. your mother looked pleased with everyone hungrily taking the food and enjoying themselves with the taste. your father was even eating with a smile on his face.

"so y/n," jay smirked at you from across the table, "how's intak?" he tried to hide his smirk by taking a bite of his food.

"who the damn hell is, intak?" sunghoon grumbled, looking at you with a face of disgust.

"hwang intak." jay responded with a quirk of his eyebrows.

"sunghoon, do you have to use such language?" your mother tsked at your brother before turning to you, "i'm sure he's a nice boy, right y/n?"

"first of all, none of your business sunghoon, and how do you know about intak? NOT like there's much to know anyway." you pointed your fork at jay.

"jungwon." jay shrugged at you casually, "he told me he heard that intak has a crush on youu." jay teased you.

fucking jungwon. jungwon was a year younger than you and somehow became friends with your brother and his friends. jungwon was known for starting or spreading drama. and you hated him. he was always spying on you and trying to suck up to your brother.

"ouuuu." jake added to your teasing.

"and so what if he does?" you tried to fight back during your teasing, feeling embarrassed in front of them. your eyes glanced towards heeseung quickly, expecting to see him with the same teasing smile that jay and jake adorned.

though instead, he wore a deep frown, and a look of worry was spread across his eyes, his fork loosely dragging around his food on the plate.

"if he has a crush on you, he's dead," sunghoon stated from beside you, stabbing his chicken with his fork harshly before plopping the piece in his mouth.

"my goodness, sunghoon! don't speak like that!" your mother tsked your brother again with a gasp at his words, "i think it's sweet that he has a crush on y/n." your mother smiled at you.

"it's whatever." you shrugged, turning your head away from everyone at the table, suddenly feeling self conscious at heeseung's reaction.

"do you not like him back, sweetie?" your mother asked you, watching your demeanor change.

the truth is that you thought intak was cute, and he was sweet and kind to you. you tried to like him back at first, but you just couldn't find yourself liking him more than a friend. your friends thought that you were insane to not like a boy like intak back, but you couldn't help it- your heart was already in the depths with someone else even if you couldn't act upon it.

"not really," you mumbled back as an answer.

"good." sunghoon exaggertaly nodded at you.

"shut up, hoon." you rolled your eyes at him with a small smile, your eyes glancing at heeseung once again, this time his shoulders seemed perkier as his eyes met yours. a smirk on his pretty lips at you before digging into his food once again.

-

the last satuday night before heeseung had to leave for college in early september, the boys had all decided to throw a party at your house as one final goodbye to their highschool days with heeseung. your parents went to your grandparents house for the weekend for a visit, leaving you, sunghoon and the rest of his friends alone in the house with enough time to party. sunghoon had begged his parents to force you to go with them to your grandparents house, but your parents said that it would be fine if you stayed, just so you could see heeseung for the last time, too.

sunghoon had even tried to get you to sleepover at one of your friends house for the night, "seriously y/n just go anywhere! i don't care where just somewhere far from here!" he groaned as he followed you to your bedroom, leaning on your door frame as he watched you sit down at your desk.

"i said no! i want to stay here! why can't i stay in my own house?" you responded, sitting back in your chair to look at your annoyed brother.

"because! its a senior welcome and goodbye party! no one wants your junior ass hanging around!"

"well i won't be the only junior there!"

"what do you mean?"

"i invited sunoo over for a sleepover." you smiled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"oh god!" sunghoon groaned, "fine you can stay! but you can't come downstairs!"

"hm, do you know what? i think i should tell mom about the party, i'm sure she'd want to be here to greet everyone."

"you wouldn't dare."

"you wanna bet?"

"god, you're the worst." sunghoon shook his head, grabbing the handle of your door and closing it after himself, leaving you alone with the feeling of success growing in your chest.

-

sunoo rang your home's doorbell at 8pm sharp, an hour before the party was set to officially begin. excitement filled you as you thought about the fun night ahead of you for your best friend and you.

"i'll get it!" you yelled from upstairs, rushing down the hall from your bedroom, down the stairs to the front door. you swung the door open and revealed sunoo smiling to show that he was just as excited as you were. his pink hair was styled neatly you noticed as he wrapped you up in a hug.

"hi!" he exclaimed, excitedly rocking you back and forth in the embrace. "tonight's gonna be so much fun!"

"i know!" you responded, pulling away from him so he could enter your home, closing the door after him.

"what. the fuck. are you wearing." you heard sunghoon state from behind you, you sighed and turned around to face your older brother. the look of disappointment and annoyance on his face made you want to curl up in a ball from embarrassment and punch him in the face at the same time.

behind sunghoon you heard a surprised "oop" from jake as he saw your outfit and immediately turned him and jay around to avoid sunghoon getting angry at them for looking at his sister.

though, beside sunghoon stood heeseung looking as attractive as ever with his eyes wide open in shock as he scanned your body. you noticed him gulp hard as his eyes seemed to not be able to leave your bare thighs. heeseung finally snapped out of his daze when you spoke back to sunghoon.

"what does it look like i'm wearing? it's a dress." you rolled your eyes, your arms coming across your chest, pushing your breasts together, making heeseung bite his lip at the sight in front of him.

"THAT'S a DRESS?" sunghoon exclaimed, pointing at your outfit before walking up to you and shaking his head, "no. no. no. you are not wearing that. go upstairs and change or you're not allowed to leave your room all night and i mean it." his words made sunoo pout from beside you, making sunghoon glance at him briefly with annoyance.

"what are you? my fucking dad? i can wear what i want, sunghoon." you argued, standing up to your brother.

"y/n i don't care what you want, just go fucking change." sunghoon's voice dropped to show that he was more serious than ever. your shoulders drooped in a sign of defeat to once again, your brother.

"you're the worst," you mumbled to him, turning away from him to go back to your bedroom, sunoo smiling awkwardly at him before he followed you.

at the top of the stairs, you glanced back down and met heeseung's eyes, quickly smiling at him with a knowing smile before you were out of each other's sight. it took heeseung a moment to realize you were smiling at him, shaking his head softly with a smirk as he turned away from the stairs and followed the rest of the boys to the kitchen again. he hoped to god no one noticed the effect you had on him.

-

"did you see heeseung eye fucking you!" sunoo practically yelled once you two were in your bedroom.

"shh!" you hurriedly shushed him, both of you straining to listen for any yelling but all seemed quiet downstairs, "imagine what sunghoon would've done if he heard you!" you laughed, "and yes i saw him!"

"oh my god, y/n! he was so close to just taking you right then and there i was about to just leave the room to make it easier for him!"

"shut up!" you hit sunoo's shoulder, "you're crazy!"

"i am not!" sunoo fell back onto your bed with a final laugh. "what are you gonna do about it?"

"what do you mean?" you asked him, going through your closet to find another outfit that would be deemed "sunghoon approved".

"i mean, now that we know that lee heeseung has the hots for you, what's the plan for getting him into bed with you?" sunoo shrugged casually as if he was pointing out the obvious.

"ohhh riight," you replied sarcastically, "cause as if that is ever gonna happen." you pulled out a long-sleeved, dark blue dress and held it up to your body, looking at yourself in the mirror quickly before turning around to show sunoo it.

"why wouldn't it happen?" sunoo whined, "who cares about your brother, i'm sure heeseung doesn't since he couldn't force himself to look away from you! and yes! wear that dress." you laughed at sunoo before turning back to the mirror to examine yourself.

"don't let me get my hopes up sunoo," you sighed, "he's my brother's best friend, not in a million years would we get to be together."

-

by 10pm, your house was filled with intoxicated teenagers, all trying to fulfill their final senior in high school moments, or hang out with their now college freshmen friends for a final time.

you had lost sight of sunghoon or any of his friends an hour ago, all of them getting lost in the moment of the party with their other friends. though, you still knew that everyone at the party knew who you were- park sunghoon's sister- and that you were totally and strictly off-limits. you rationalized that that was why no one was talking to you or sunoo, but it was also probably because you two were the youngest ones there and were deemed as 'losers' at school.

there was always a different thought that came to mind when someone thought of park sunghoon and then park y/n.

park sunghoon : popular, talented, hot- a guy that uses girls for sex just like all his friends.

and then park y/n : park sunghoon's geeky little sister that wasn't allowed to leave her house after 6pm.

"hey, cheer up," sunoo tried to reassure you, "don't let your asshole brother ruin tonight for you."

you smiled at your friend, greatful for him, "i know, i know. he just pisses me off so much."

"then drink," sunoo said, pushing your hand that held your cup towards your mouth, "and let it go so we can have fun!"

"fine," you stated, tipping your cup all the way back, finishing the full cup. you winced at the strong taste of liquor, making you and sunoo laugh before going and getting another.

it wasn't long before the alcohol started helping you relax a b it and forget about your reputation, wanting to just let go and have fun. you had lost sunoo in the crowd in your house a while ago, both of you getting sucked into different dancing crowds. you couldn't force yourself to care, too focused on dancing and listening to the loud music.

everyone around you was too focused on having their own fun time to pay attention to you and others. you didn't recognize anyone around you. it felt great to let go for once and not worry about others. it felt you fit in normally for once and weren't marginalized from the kids in your generation.

"you look like you're having fun." a male's voice said into your ear from behind you. you quietly gasped at the sudden voice, thanking the music for being loud enough for the boy behind you to hear it. you turn your head so you could glance at who it was.

you immediately recognized him as choi beomgyu, one of the boys that had just graduated with heeseung. you've seen him around a bunch of times at school, he was friends with your brother and they hung out a lot.

choi beomgyu was known for being an extremely good guitar player, he made a lot of girls fall for him it. when you were in year 9, a couple of girls in your year made a list of all the attractive 2001's in your school, and you remember beomgyu being second on the list- right after heeseung.

beomgyu was also known for having a thing for girls younger than him. of course he'd never go for a freshman while he was a senior, but tons of girls in your grade were played by him this year. you'd always hear about it in passing in the halls or in class. all the girls he'd talk to were pretty and outgoing, always on the cheer team or the dance team where they could show their extravertedness.

so you were shocked that the choi beomgyu would pay attention to you at a party. the shy, introverted, and babied y/n.

"i am." you replied to beomgyu, looking him in the eyes without turning your body towards him. leaving his crotch to grind on your ass. his hands held onto your waist as he urged you to keep dancing like you were before without him.

"i see," beomgyu nodded before leaning further into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, "do you think you could have fun with me, too?" the closeness and warmth of beomgyu were suddenly so vivid that you felt like you were drunk and high at the same time. your head becomes cloudy with thoughts of what will happen tonight and how much fun you could have especially if choi beomgyu was around.

"dance with me a little longer and you'll find out," you whispered back to him with a tone of teasing in your voice. beomgyu obviously liked your answer by the deep chuckle that escaped his lips and the grip on your waist tightened as if to say you're his for the night now.

dancing with beomgyu gave you so much confidence that it made you wish everyone could see you now- park sunghoon's baby sister is grinding with choi beomgyu. you wonder what they would all think if they saw it. you wonder what heeseung would think.

at the thought of heeseung you opened your eyes and were visibly shocked when they were met with heeseungs from across the living room. the world no longer felt like it was just you and beomgyu, but as if it was you and heeseung and beomgyu was just a major side character that ruined things for the mains.

heeseung was sitting in the armchair that faced you. the armchair where he'd sit with sunghoon and play video games with him, the arm chair where you'd do your homework and ask sunghoon for help but ultimately get helped by heeseung- the arm chair where heeseung had sat so many times before that always made you think how easy it would be to just sit on his lap and make out until you could no longer breathe.

heeseung's legs were stretched out manspreading and covered in his black ripped jeans. in his hand, he held a red solo cup as he tried to stay in the conversation with his friend on one side and a girl on his other side. the girl was very obviously trying to get the attention of heeseung- and maybe she was actually getting it before he saw you dancing with his friend across the room.

at first, heeseung told himself that he's watching you swivel your hips so fucking beautifully against beomgyu to make sure neither of the two of you went any further. he was looking out for you! he was making sure beomgyu wasn't going to be pummeled to death by sunghoon after tonight and that you wouldn't be ejected from society because sunghoon wouldn't trust you after.

but the more and more heeseung watched, the more and more he couldn't help the jealousy growing in his chest as he watched the way beomgyu would whisper into your ear, the way you would put your hand over beomgyu's hand on your waist- the fucking way you were making yourself and beomgyu feel so good by the grinding of your hips that makes him wish that it was him behind you and not the stupid bastard choi beomgyu.

heeseung knew that the pretty girl beside him, minjeong, wanted his dick. he knew that as soon as he said the word she would follow him up to the guest bedroom that more like his bedroom since he's been at this house practically every day since he was 15. he had planned to hold off on her until the end of the night, but you had put a fat hold on those plans the second he saw you.

every part in heeseung knew that he shouldn't be thinking about you this way. he knew that if sunghoon ever found out that he'd be dead in a millisecond. he tried to avoid those thoughts of you by listening to jeongin talk beside him- he tried to keep up the conversation with jeongin- he tried to keep minjeong interested in him but all that would come up in his head was that you were grinding against beomgyu when it should be him there instead.

when you opened your eyes and were met with heeseung. he could sense the worry rush through your body from across the room. he could see how blown out your pupils were from a mix of shock and all the alcohol you had been drinking tonight.

when heeseung just continued to watch you with beomgyu, you decided to put on a show not only for beomgyu, but for heeseung as well. and quickly, the excitement for tonight with beomgyu turned into the excitement for tonight with heeseung.

you tilted your head back to lay on beomgyu's shoulder, pushing your chest out and ass more into beomgyu's crotch. you could feel beomgyu get harder every minute you've been dancing together.

"oh fuck." beomgyu groaned out quietly, his eyes directed right at your tits that were in his view now. your soft skin visible to anyone that would see.

heeseung smirked at you once he realized what you were up to. you didn't break eye contact with him as you gritted your hips against beomgyu harder, your panties becoming soaked now that you were imagining what heeseung would do to you. you imagined that heeseung was behind you instead of beomgyu.

the moment between you and heeseung was ruined when beomgyu offered for you to go to the bathroom with him to "continue our fun in a more private area.". it was like you were brought back to reality and not some future imagination that you once thought you were in. you still your dancing on beomgyuy and turned away from your brother's best friend. "hm?" beomgyu urged you for an answer, putting his forehead to yours as you stared into each other's eyes, pure lust was set in his as he scanned your face.

fuck.

"i-, um," you tried to answer, but your words all meshed into one, unaware of how you should answer him.

"i think it's time for you to leave, y/n." a voice answered for you, causing you and beomgyu to pull apart.

heeseung stood right in front of you two with an expression you weren't able to read but made you try to sober up quickly.

"oh, hey heeseung!" beomgyu smiled once he saw who it was, "how are you, my man?" beomgyu and heeseung dapped each other up warmly.

"eh, i'm good," heeseung shrugged, "it was nice to see you, but i gotta get y/n to bed." you scoffed beside beomgyu at heeseung's words not believing what you were hearing.

"oh? for real?" beomgyu asked confusedly, looking between you and heeseung. you couldn't bear to look up at any of them because you could feel the heat go to your cheeks from embarrassment yet again- only this time it wasn't because of your brother- it was because of his best friend.

"yeah, man, sunghoon's looking for her." you physically cringed at your brother's name.

"oh?" beomgyu said with a confused tone, "OH!" he said again a second later, obviously realizing who you were, "oh shit." beomgyu stepped away from you. "look, - i didn't-"

"hey, it's okay, it'll stay between you and me and i'm sure y/n won't tell sunghoonie, right?" heeseung patted beomgyu's shoulder as he looked at you.

all you could do was shake your head no, still not being able to look at the two older boys from humiliation.

"great! well uh, see you around, i guess," beomgyu said to no one in particular before walking back and getting lost in the crowd.

"c'mon." heeseung stated suddenly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you through the crowd of people towards the stairs to the second floor.

heeseung's so familiar scent put your mind in a haze, a different haze than the drunk one it was previously in. the music downstairs was somewhat quieter upstairs, quiet enough for heeseung to hear how loud your heart was pounding in your chest.

when you got to your bedroom in the hall heeseung backed away from you slightly and stared at you, the same unreadable expression plastered on his face. the atmosphere between you two felt awkward to the point where you felt like you couldn't breathe.

"why were you with beomgyu?" heeseung broke the silence with a disgusted and disappointed face.

you scoffed, feeling as if you were talking to your father yet again, "who cares who i was talking to? i can do what i want."

"i care!" heeseung said, walking closer to you so your back was up against the wall. "what would've happened if sunghoon saw the two of you like that?"

"i don't care about what sunghoon would've done! i'm my own person i can make my own decisions!"

heeseung sighed at your statement, his eyebrows coming together as his fingers pressed against the crease in his forehead, "fuck y/n," he shook his head before looking at you, "i know that. just- did it have to be beomgyu?"

"jesus, then who do you deem acceptable for me?" you stood up straight, looking heeseung in his eyes now, both of you carrying serious expressions. please say you, please say you, you mentally begged heeseung.

heeseung slowly leaned his face towards yours, his scent intoxicating you more. his face was so close to yours that you could see all his freckles and blemishes. you could hear his quiet, heavy breathing that indicated he was just as nervous as you were. you stared in the eyes of each other, neither one of you moving as if the other was daring the other one to move first.

heeseung's hand came up and you thought he was going to rest it on your cheek, but it rested on the wall behind your head, trapping you in. and just when you thought you were going to get all your senses filled by heeseung, he pushed off the wall so he was farther away from you now. you felt cold when he stood a meter in front of you, not even glancing at you as he put his hand on his waist and the other wiped his jaw to show that he was stressed.

"we can't, y/n." heeseung whispered, barely audible over the music and the cheers from downstairs.

"and why not?" you asked, pushing yourself off of your closed, bedroom door and taking a few steps ahead, your body only a centimeter away from heeseung's.

"you know why." heeseung glanced at you as you stood in front of him now.

you rolled your eyes in frustration now at his response, a huff coming out of your mouth, "no. i don't. so why don't you say it."

a beat of silence went between you two again before he said outloud, "because you're my best friend's little sister. that's so-..."

"so what?" you urged him to finish his sentence.

"so... ugh, there just shouldn't be an attraction here!" you could see heeseung was getting just as frustrated as you were, though his words dug into your heart a little. heeseung and you knew how sensitive you were, you could both feel the drop in the atmosphere because of the hurt that was now playing on your heart strings.

you back away from heeseung while looking down at the ground, digging your shoe into your carpeted floor, "so then, what now?"

heeseung looked up at you with a melancholic look on his face that told you what he was going to say next wouldn't be good, "we- you have a good night. everyone will be leaving soon anyway and i'll find sunoo and send him up here, too."

both of you could barely look at one another; there were too many emotions in the air to control at the moment; anger, frustration, lust. heeseung was caught up in his mind until he heard a soft sniffle coming from you. he shot his head up and he felt a rush of guilt wash over him at your weakened figure.

"y/n-" he started, reaching out towards you.

"you have a good night, heeseung." you cut him off, turning and walking into your bedroom, closing the door quickly behind you. all of your emotions hit you at once and you felt so weak. you were frustrated with sunghoon, upset that your night didn't go as planned, and sad that you were rejected by heeseung and wouldn't see him for a long time. you felt like your whole life changed drastically in a span of one night and it became overwhelming.

heeseung slowly went back downstairs, upset and confused about what he had done tonight. he gathered up jake and jay and told them to kick everyone out. he asked them where sunghoon had gone but they hadn't seen him for a while.

when people started leaving, it made it easier for heeseung to find sunoo.

"hey, y/n's in her room already." heeseung reached out and tapped sunoo on the shoulder so he would turn around.

"already?" sunoo slurred his short question. it was so obvious that sunoo was wasted which made heeseung chuckle a bit.

"yeah, do you need help getting to her room or are you okay?"

"i'll be okay, heeseungie." sunoo smiled his usual eye smile, pinched heeseung's cheek, and walked towards the stairs, holding tightly onto the railing. heeseung felt his cheeks blush at sunoo's sudden nickname for him, but brushed it off and went to look for sunghoon.

five minutes later and he found him on the floor of the upstairs bathroom.

"sunghoon, what the hell?" heeseung exclaimed loudly, rushing to his friend's side. sunghoon only grumbled in response. "did you throw up?" sunghoon nodded with his eyes barely opened. "how many times?" sunghoon held up three fingers. "jesus."

heeseung got his best friend all cleaned up and then tucked him into bed with the help of jake and jay. he heard giggling coming from your bedroom and figured that sunoo had made you feel better from the last time he had seen you.

jake and jay fell asleep on the couches downstairs, too drunk and exhausted to make their way back to their houses. and then finally heeseung lay down in his second bedroom. the one that was referred to as the guest bedroom, but the guest that occupied it was not even a guest of this house anymore.

as soon as heeseung's head hit the guest's pillow, his phone went off from a notification on instagram.

[hee.heesung] k.minjexng : sent an image.

heeseung sighed when he opened the dm from the girl he was talking with earlier, realizing that she was definitely upset he disappeared from her.

the image was a picture of her pale legs and a man's head of hair in between them.

k.minjexng : this is what you missed out on 😘

heeseung rolled his eyes and exited instagram, instead he opened his messages app, his thumb circling around his previous messages with you.

-

when you woke up in the morning, sunoo was snoring beside you softly. his pink hair was sprawled out on your white pillowcase and a soft smile was stuck on his face while he slept. it was evident that he had a fun night last night.

unlike you.

your phone held a bunch of notifications from the night, but not one of them was from heeseung. disappointment sunk into your chest farther, making it feel heavy.

sunoo had made you feel better before you went to bed, but it was still upsetting that your crush of three years had flat out rejected you.

when sunoo had finally woken up about an hour later, his headache was killing him. you went downstairs to get him some advil, and was surprised to see that the house was ordinarily clean.

"good morning, sweetie!" your mom called out to you from the island. you were shocked that your parents were home this early, as well as that sunghoon, jake, and jay was awake as well. "you just missed heeseung." your mom pouted, the statement making your chest feel heavier.

"what?" you asked her, hoping that you misunderstood her.

"yeah, he leaves for college in an hour." sunghoon mumbled, it was obvious that your brother was upset that he was losing his best friend because of the way life goes.

"Oh." you said, trying to hide the sadness you were feeling, wishing you had woken up earlier.

"it's okay, kids, he'll be back for winter break." your dad spoke, feeling the tense atmosphere in the kitchen now. even jake and jay were upset that heeseung was leaving them.

"yeah, you're right, it's just weird to think that there's only going to be three of us now." jay nodded, taking a bite of his cereal.

they all continued to converse but you couldn't even hear what they were saying. your thoughts took over so much room in your head now that you could barely be focused. you managed to get sunoo some medicine and make your way back up to your room without another word from you or your family.

you felt like you were just about to accept the fact that you and heeseung are 1000% never being together when your phone got a text.

from : heeseung 🤎

i'm sorry for last night. i hope you have a good year at school though

and btw i liked the first dress more

a smile crept onto your face at his last text, and the butterfly of hope flew around your stomach once again.

the fall season quickly came and left, and your junior year of high school was already halfway over when christmas break began.

you hadn't heard from heeseung directly since you had last seen him at the end of the summer party that your brother threw. you never texted him, in fear of making it awkward between you two.

though you haven't spoken to heeseung, sunghoon has. they are still best friends even though they live hours apart in different parts of the country. sunghoon was definitely looking forward to heeseung's return during their winter break, and secretly you were too.

the only person who knew about your little crush and interaction with heeseung was sunoo, who constantly tried to persuade you to text heeseung. of course, you never did.

"so are you excited?" sunoo asked, his scarf muffling his voice as you walked home from school with him.

"for what?" you asked, shoving your hands deep into your pockets to try to keep them warm from the winter breeze. the snow crunched under your feet with each step the two of you took. your large jackets rustled with each step.

"for heeseung to come home, you idiot!" sunoo yelled out, hopefully, no one else had turned onto the street with you that you knew.

"well i mean, yes but no," you responded in a normal tone.

"maybe he forgot about the last time you saw him!" sunoo tried to make you feel better about the rejected and crying moment you last had with heeseung, "the last thing he texted you about was your dress! maybe all he remembers is how hot you looked!"

"yeah, before sunghoon made me change!" you shoved sunoo, trying to force yourself to feel a bit happier that heeseung was returning.

"you looked hot in the other outfit, too!" sunoo shoved you back, "but seriously y/n, it's gonna fun! he'll probably just act around you like he usually does."

"like i'm sunghoon's baby sister and that i barely exist?" you deadpanned rolling your eyes at the thought of your older brother again.

"exactly!"

-

walking into your home alone after sunoo turned down his own street was walking into a different atmosphere than you expected. sunghoon was sitting on the couch with an annoyed look on his face, while your mother was beside him rubbing his back and your father was standing by the tv trying to support his son from afar.

"uh, hey guys?" you announced yourself awkwardly, not sure of what you had just walked into.

"hi, sweetie." your mom forced a smile.

"is everything okay?" you asked the three of them.

"yeah! heeseung's not coming." sunghoon mumbled a response without looking away from the wall in front of him.

"what? why?" you asked, your heart racing with disappointment and fear. was he not coming because of you? did he think it would be too uncomfortable to be in the same room with you again?

"because he thinks it'd be too stressful on his grades, so he wants to stay to study more." sunghoon grunted before standing up, "i'm going to my room." your parents and you watched your older brother storm up the stairs into his bedroom. he was obviously upset that he still wouldn't be seeing his best friend after months.

"are you okay about it?" your mother asked, worried for you as well.

"what? yeah, i'm fine. why would i care if heeseung came home or not?" you asked quickly, hoping that they weren't onto you about having a crush on heeseung.

"oh, i thought you were close with him too, no? he was over all the time before he went to college." your mother replied with a look of confusion on her face about the speed of your response.

"eh, well, i still have jake and jay and my real brother, right?" you forced a laugh out, hoping that it wasn't obvious you were trying to hide something.

"yeah, right." your parents nodded, shrugging before heading to the kitchen together to prepare dinner.

you let out a sigh of relief once they left the room with no further questions, but that didn't relieve the anxiety of heeseung not returning. as you head back to your room you do figure that it would be weird without having heeseung around for winter break. it was almost tradition to have him and the other boys sleeping over for two weeks straight. you wonder what they would do this break? would it just be the three of them?

before you push open your door something inside of you stops and glances over at sunghoon's closed door. you ponder about what he's feeling inside. he's never been good with showing his emotions, not even to your parents. when he got hurt as a little boy he would hide it until your parents would notice blood seeping through his pants from falling off his bike and scraping his entire leg right open. he still insisted he was fine when they took him to the doctors and said he needed stitches.

you sighed and walked over to his bedroom, hesitating once before knocking on his door.

"what?" you heard him grunt out.

"can i come in?" you called out to him.

a beat of silence passed and you thought he was just ignoring you at this point, "sure."

you pushed open his door to find him sitting on his bed in the dark, only the screen of his tv was on and it was on mute. "what is it? i'm tired." you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him blaming his sadness on fatigue. you walked over to his bed and sat down beside him.

"you know i think you're a good older brother, right? you've always looked out for me, and made sure i was safe. you spent your christmas allowance on me when we were younger so you could buy me a present."

sunghoon left his window open a crack, making his room a bit chilly as the sound of someone's car starting outside ruins the silence between you two. you knew that sunghoon always wanted to take care of you, and now you feel like it's your turn to take care of him. though, you feel nothing like your older brother.

in his senior year, you never thought that you would have to take care of your older brother in a way that he takes care of his little sister. but you never know what sunghoon is going through. he keeps things to himself when he gets to the point where he feels like breaking down he stays silent. the only person he's ever trusted was heeseung.

"you always seem so happy when you're with your friends, truly, and i swear i've never seen so many people stop what they were doing just to listen to someone speak- but you do that to people."

you use to be jealous of sunghoon about it. how did he get to be so popular while you were just the school's runt? how did he get to have girls falling at his feet and guys begging to be his friend? you loved sunoo, but sometimes you wished that you had a friend group to hang out with other than sunoo and sunghoon's friends that weren't allowed to even look at you.

"and you know i worry about you at the same time. i know how introverted you are and how hard you try to be so outgoing at school so people will still like you. that's so much stress on a person mentally. and still, at home, i try to be a good sister for you but i feel like i'm no good at that, so i'm glad you've found a brother within heeseung. so i'm sorry that heeseung isn't coming back for winter break, that must really fucking hurt, hoon. but i love you, and i'm trying to be a good sister now, and i want to change our sibling relationship for the better."

you don't realize that you've started crying until sunghoon wraps his arm around you and pulls you into his side. that's when you notice he's started crying too. you think at that moment that you've never seen your brother cry before. you've never shared this much of a brother-sister moment before. it feels like the two of you are just little kids again, trying to figure out this world before the world figures it out for you instead. an expression of relief washes over sunghoon's face as you both take in the peaceful silence between you too.

when sunghoon speaks it's quiet, but you know he means it with his whole body and soul, "i wouldn't trade having you as a little sister for the world. heeseung's my friend, never my sibling."

-

after winter break, your relationship with sunghoon seemed to change drastically, and for the better. he no longer had this over-protectiveness of you. it was like you had aged from 5 years old to 17 years old in a week.

this winter break was definitely the weirdest one, but the best one. sunghoon invited you to hang out with jay, jake, and him, even allowing for sunoo to join, too. you all played video games, made gingerbread houses, and freaked out your parents by how strangely you two were getting along.

you heard sunghoon running around your house at 7am on the first day of summer break- the morning after sunghoon had graduated from high school. you groaned and threw your pillow over your head, mentally punching your brother for waking you up so early for no reason.

you were just about to drift off to sleep again when your bedroom door slammed open, "y/n!" sunghoon yelled excitedly.

you groaned in response, sleep still fogging up your mind and body.

"y/n! wake up!" sunghoon jumped on your bed, shaking your body awake.

"what?" you sat up finally, looking at your brother with anger. "what is it?"

"heeseung's coming home today!" sunghoon grabbed onto your shoulders, shaking you with excitement.

"oh my god!" you yelled back, a smile on your face.

"we're picking him up in an hour, wake up!"

'i'm awake now, okay!?"

sunghoon shook you once last time and jumped off your bed with a ginormous smile on his face, "wooooo!" sunghoon cheered as he ran out of your room.

the excitement you felt about heeseung's return quickly faded when you started to actually realize what it would mean to see heeseung again. it's been 10 months since you had seen him in person. 10 months since you had almost (maybe?) kissed in your hallway, meters away from your drunk brother.

you felt a sudden feeling of stress begin to bubble up in your chest at the fact that standing in front of heeseung again. a lot can change in 10 months, and you wonder if that included his feelings towards you...

throughout the school year, you had noticed that over time, there would be a day or two that would go by that you wouldn't think about heeseung, your heart would ache at the sudden realization that you had forgotten about him for a second. but when sunghoon would mention his name later, or show you a picture that heeseung had sent him of himself, the familiar feeling of the attraction you had for heeseung would come swirling back at you.

there were days when your finger would hover over heeseung's contact name on your phone, contemplating whether or not you should text him or not. what would you say though? what would he think? "oh god, my best friend's little sister is obsessed with me?". at that thought, you would instantly put your phone away, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts of heeseung again.

you basically spent the whole early morning getting your appearance to look as best as it could for heeseung's return. you wanted to look good for heeseung. you think it's the longest time you've spent on your appearance all school year.

when you heard the familiar tires of your car pull up in the front of your house, your heart froze. you weren't mentally prepared to see heeseung.

"y/n! they're here!" your mother called you from downstairs.

on shaky legs you made your way downstairs, standing on the last stair as you watched your mother swing up the front door to reveal your dad and sunghoon laughing, carrying a bag in each hand.

"heeseung! honey!" your mother yelled excitedly, you could see her hands fly up and around someone's shoulders, but your vision was blocked by your family. "god, how was the flight? how are you?"

"i'm good! it was good!" a light chuckle spoke, it had been a while since you had heard heeseung's voice- it sounded the same yet different at the same time.

your family finally moved out of the way for heeseung to enter your house once again. you took in a breath as you locked eyes with him standing in your front doorway.

he was still the heeseung that you remembered him as, but he seemed broader and stronger, and his black hair was dyed a blueish green colour that fell so prettily against his skin. his rosy lips held the smirk that you've always known as he takes in your appearance as well.

you look more mature now, more confident in your own skin and he wonders what happened to you in the past 10 months that finally allowed for you to come out of your shell. you look more pretty than heeseung remembers and it's making him weak in the knees as he continues to stare at you until he speaks, "hi, y/n."

"hi." you force yourself to reply. the scene being so coincidentally like the first time you two had met, but this time you're older and you're both aware of your forbidden feelings towards one another.

"are you hungry? come you should sit and eat!" your mother put her hand on his back, ushering him into your house.

"yeah, i'm a bbit hungry!" heeseung laughed, "but i can't stay for too long today! i need to visit my mom later on today."

"oh of course heeseungie! she must've missed you terribly!"

"yeah, something like that." heeseung replied, sitting down at his usual chair at the table, sunghoon and you following him and sitting in your spots: sunghoon sat across from you with heeseung on his left while heeseung was on your right at the very end of the table, across from your father.

"bro, it's been too long." sunghoon sat back in his chair, smiling at heeseung. this has been the most that you've seen your brother smile since heeseung left the last august. it made you happy that sunghoon seemed to be out of the little slump that he's been in.

"i know! i'm glad that you're coming with me this year!" heeseung shoved sunghoon's shoulder.

sunghoon had gotten accepted into the same university as heeseung along with jake. jay had chosen to go to a university abroad in the united states so he could live with his father again.

"it's gonna be so much fun!" heeseung laughed.

"so i guess you're liking university then, son." your father spoke from across the table.

"yeah, it's been great!" heeseung smiled. suddenly, you felt a foot graze across your own. you figured one of the boys had done it by accident, but the foot came back and started to slowly drag its way up your calve and down. you gulped and looked over a heeseung, who only spared you a sneaky glance as he continued to talk to your dad, "i got pretty good grades this year so i'm happy."

"that's great, honey!" your mother chimed in, bringing in a plate of sandwiches for you all to eat.

your mother placed a plate in front of you, you forced a smile at her in return, trying to not focus on heeseung's foot playing with your leg.

"are you okay, y/n?" your mother asked you as she sat down beside your dad.

"hm? yeah! of course!" you replied, grabbing a sandwich quickly and placing it on your plate. almost dropping it when heeseung's hand plopped down on your thigh underneath the table. you looked up at him in shock, he placed his body so it looked like he was leaning his hand on his chair underneath him, and took a bite of his sandwich with his other.

you felt the eyes of everyone on you turn away at your response, opting to be more interested in the freshly-back-in-town-heeseung.

"so do you like your roommate?" your mother continued the conversation with heeseung. his fingers slowly started to move up and down your thigh, dangerously close to your core. you tried to focus on eating your sandwich but he was making it so difficult to focus on anything other than his warm fingers.

"yeah, he was cool, but i'm hoping to move in with hoon and jake next year." heeseung shrugged, managing to keep his cool so perfectly.

"do you have a girlfriend, yet?" your mother continued to ask, making sunghoon snort and look at his friend. the question also made your ears perk up, ready for his answer as his fingers continued to do small circles on the inside of your thigh.

"nah, not yet." heeseung shook his head with a sheep smile. a sigh of relief almost escaped your lips, but you covered it by taking a bite of your sandwich.

"hey, do you know who's also back in town for the summer?" sunghoon asked heeseung.

"who?"

"minjeong." sunghoon spoke, quirking his eyebrows up as he said her name.

you hadn't thought about kim minjeong since the goodbye party last year. you remembered then that she was practically climbing on top of heeseung before he pulled you away from beomgyu. you felt a cold shrill go down your spine at the memory.

"ah, who's this minjeong?" your father asked heeseung with a teasing grin.

"ah, nobody." heeseung shook his head, his fingers coming to halt on your thigh as he glanced at your unreadable expression at the mention of another girl's name.

"what do you mean 'nobody'?" sunghoon laughed out, "she's some girl that's had the hots for heeseung since his sophomore year! you literally called her hot like last month!"

at that you pushed away heesueng's hand under the table, feeling disgusted by his touch suddenly. you tried to go back to casually eating your sandwich, but it felt like your stomach was doing twirls and spins. the cold shiver down your spine turned into embarrassment that you'd let yourself be so easy towards heeseung- just like every other girl he usually gets with. you don't know why you thought that you'd be someone different too lee heeseung.

you saw heeseung glance at you from the corner of your eye, but you didn't dare look at him.

"bro, she's whatever, i'm not into her like that." heeseung shrugged, but you knew that he was just trying to downplay it so you weren't mad at him.

"hm, i see." your mother gave a knowing look and stood up from her spot, taking hers and your father's empty plate, "anyways, me and your dad need to go visit your aunt this weekend since she's trying to sell the house, so it'll just be you guys, i'm sorry hee, but we'll be around more next week!"

"Ah that's okay, don't worry!" heeseung replied calmly, seemingly not phased by you being upset with him. when your parents left the room, sunghoon and heeseung gave each other a look. a look that you've seen multiple times throughout the years : party time.

they were obviously planning to throw a big 'start of summer' party this weekend while your parents are away. and this time- you knew that sunghoon wouldn't make a big deal out of you being there as well. though you weren't even sure if you wanted to go- as you knew heeseung would be there. as of right now, you wanted nothing to do with him.

you knew that you and heeseung weren't together, but the idea of him talking about another girl he's obviously attracted to while touching you under the table made you sick. you didn't want to be just some other girl to him.

"are you gonna invite minjeong, heeseungie?" sunghoon smiled teasingly, her name making you almost throw up. the thought of her being in your house- the thought of her and heeseung fucking in the room right next door to yours. god- you couldn't bear it.

"hey, are you okay?" sunghoon asked you, making you snap your eyes open to look at him. "you've barely even eaten your sandwich." you glanced at heeseung again, before nodding your head.

"yeah, i'm just not that hungry right now," you stood up, taking your plate with you, "i'm just gonna go back to bed, see you guys."

"okay." sunghoon nodded, pulling out his phone to most likely start sending invitations to the party this weekend. as you started to return back to your bedroom, you felt heeseung's eyes at the back of your head as you went up the stairs, but you forced yourself not to look at him. disgust still filling your mind.

-

you've been pretty good at avoiding heeseung all week.

telling your parents that you weren't feeling good so you wouldn't have to join the rest of your family and heeseung at the dinner table to eat. basically just camping out in your bedroom for four days until friday night, after your parents had left for the weekend and sunghoon and heeseung's party had started up.

you guess you've also been pretty good at making heeseung mad all week by the way he was glaring at you from across the living room right now.

the red dress you wore matched the anger that boiling u inside of him as he watched you scamper around the party with hwang intak. heeseung usually wouldn't mind seeing you wearing something so sexy, but the fact that he wasn't allowed to touch you meanwhile intak seemed to have no problem doing so.

heeseung knew that things between you and your brother had calmed down- sunghoon had let go of his protective-brother facade and you had grown into a girl that was so confident it made all the other girls in the place look something close to nothing. but he didn't think that would mean you would be wearing a tight dress wrapped under some guy's arm right in front of him. it made him almost want over protective sunghoon to make a return.

"oh my god, heeseungie!" a high pitch shrill pulled heeseung out of his thoughts about you and back into the harsh reality. "how have you been, i missed you so much!" minjeong was wrapping her arms tight around his neck as he pulled him down into a hug. instinctively, his free hand that wasn't holding his cup wrapped loosely around her tiny waist.

"hey! i've been good," heeseung replied, trying to force a smile on his face as he looked at minjeong. it was hard to say that she wasn't a pretty girl- because she certainly was- but her beauty was no match to yours. there was hardly any resemblance between the two of you and maybe that's why heeseung would never find himself in a bed with minjeong.

heeseung glanced towards the direction where he last saw you, and smirked to himself when he saw you staring at the scene going on between him and minjeong. you had been ignoring him and advoiding him all week, but this is what got your attention finally. he was just about to think that you were truly over him, but now with the way he could see the jealousy growing so green in your eyes he knew that his feelings were still atleast somewhat requited.

"ah! i'm so glad you're here! i've been wanting to see you!" minjeong pulled away from him, but still wrapping her tiny hand around his upper arm.

heeseung smirked down at her, "yeah?" he used a teasing tone with her, hoping that you would be trying to listen in. knowing you though, you most definetly were.

anyone could hear minjeong's obnoxious shrill so it was hard not to notice when she came running up to heeseung. you felt your blood run cold as you watched the two embrace each other.

"hey, are you okay?" intak whispered to you, feeling your change in aura suddenly beside him.

"hm? yeah i'm fine." you responded, looking at the black haired boy for a second before glancing back at heeseung and minjeong.

"are you sure? do you want another drink?"

"yeah! okay!" you responded, handing him your red cup.

"okay, i'll be right back!" intak smiled, shoulder shoving you gently before he left you alone.

you tried to not make it obvious that you were staring at heeseung and minjeong but it was so hard not to. it was unfair that the two of them could be affectionate towards one another in public meanwhile you and heeseung couldn't be together, period.

the way minjeong was clinging onto him to protectively, as if she was telling every other girl at the party that heeseung was hers- at least for tonight he was- was something that you'd only ever dreamt of doing with him. you wanted to show him off at a party, show everyone that you were together and that you were his and he was yours.

heeseung was paying so much attention to minjeong, focusing only on her as he answered her questions, making her laugh her annoying laugh. hurt and anger was growing inside of you, you wanted to scream.

"here you go." a red cup came into your view again. you looked up at intak, his easy going smile calmed you.

"thanks." you replied, taking the full cup from him and leaning back against the wall again.

"are you sure you're okay, y/n?" intak asked you once again, leaning his shoulder on the wall beside you.

"yeah, i'm good, just needed another drink!" you reassured him.

the past year, you and intak have gotten quite close. though you shot him down last summer, you still turned out to be great friends. but you still got the feeling that intak had some feelings towards you. his constant staring, and overly-kind gestures were a dead give away but you never did any actions towards him that would give him hope. you were friends- and that was it. until you got the idea to make heeseung just as mad as you were.

if you had to watch him get climbed on by the girl who defintely wanted to fuck him- and who he apparently thought was so hot, then he could watch you have somre fun with your friend.

you turned so your shoulder was against the wall, your front facing intak's, "are you having fun?" you asked him, titling your head to the side as you looked up at him.

"yeah, i am," intak took a sip of his drink, "are you?"

"mm, i am, but only because you're here." you smiled, biting your lip. you noticed the way intak gulped, before trying to laugh your statement off casually. you glanced over at heeseung and minjeong, who had moved over to sit on the lawson chair your family had in the living room. you almost threw up when you saw that she was sitting on his lap. when you glanced up heeseung, you didn't expect to meet his eyes.

there was a tone of amusmant and arrogance in his eyes as he looked at you, as if he was saying, "how's that?" you internally huffed at him, which was probably evident on your face as a smile spread across his lips.

minjeong put her hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention away from you as she spoke to him.

"y/n?" intak asked, you forgot that he was standing there.

"yeah?"

"i asked if you wanted to go outside."

"oh, uh, i-"

"look, what's wrong? you seem distant and you're acting weird." intak sighed, standing up straight in front of you.

"nothing's wrong! i'm fine!" you urged him to believe you. his hand suddenly came up and was placed on your forehead, checking to see if you had a fever. you glanced at heeseung, who had an eyebrow raised at you.

you put your hand on top of intak's, looking up at him through your eyelashes, "do i feel okay?"

"y-yeah, i think so." intak stuttered, shocked at your tone of voice, he pulled his hand away from you, trying to ignore the warmth that is sent through his body.

part of you felt bad because you were obviously just playing intak, but it would only be for tonight. you cared about him as a friend and you wouldn't go any further than a little flurting with him.

you moved closer to intak, so that your bodies were only a mere centimere apart, you could still see heeseung and minjeong's bodies over intak's shoulder. "i think i just want to stay in here, i like listening to the music." you nodded to intak.

"oh, okay." intak whispered out, not being able to take his eyes off of you. he's trying to rememeber if he's even been this close to you before. your perfume that he's become so familiar with is literally surrounding him because you're so close to one another. your pretty eyes seem so clear as you look up at him. he's trying so hard to keep his cool around you.

heeseung can hear minjeong speaking, but he doesn't know or to be honest, care, about what exactly she is saying. you're basically standing ontop of intak and he can most likely see right down your dress from his angle. minjeong brings heeseung back to her when she wraps her arm around his neck behind him, leaning closer to him now. heeseung smiles at her, and wraps his free arm around her back, basically cuddling her into his side as he looks at you.

you tsk lowly, watching the two of them pretend to be a couple while you know heeseung is only thinking about you right now. it hurts that he's touching another girl right in front of you, it seems to be pushing you farther and farther away from him, but the both of you can't give up so easily. both too stubborn to let the other one win. you don't know where this sudden 'game' of jealousy came from but you were determined to win.

you grab intak's free arm and put it on your waist, letting his fingers grab a hold of your side. through the thin layer of your dress you can feel his warmth. intak stumbles a second before gripping onto you tighter, shocked at how bold you are being with him. his inner monologue is fighting between either you're just really drunk or you're finally realizing that you have feelings for him.

heeseung takes a deep breath out of anger as he watches intak enjoy holding on to you, any guy in their right mind would kill to be intak right now.

throughout your high school days, it was so obvious that every guy in your school thought you were hot, but of course, sunghoon would kill anyone that tried to hit on you. heeseung always wondered if you knew just how attractive you were. there had been so many conversations that he's overheard about what the guys in your school would do to you if they ever got the chance. if they ever got permission from sunghoon.

why did sunghoon have to let go of his protective stance when he went to college? he couldn't have done it sooner so maybe he would get a chance himself?

heeseung almost laughs at the thought, as if sunghoon would let you date his best friend.

"are you tired, heeseungie?" minjeong purrs into his ear.

"hm?"

"you seem tired, do you want to go lay down?" he turns to look at the girl who's basically crawling on top of him and forces a smile.

"maybe in a bit, yeah?"

"Okay." she whispers into his ear. he feels her breath against his skin. on any other occasion he's sure he would've taken her up to his room by now, but he had no desire to pull anyone else except for you upstairs with him.

with minjeong leaning against his neck so closely, heeseung makes perfect eye contact with you. you tilt your head as a sign of confusion as you watch minjeong pucker her lips, leaning her face into heeseung's neck now.

and all at once, she's kissing slowly onto his skin, wanting to mark him as hers.

you and heeseung take a deep breath at once.

now, you weren't feeling well.

heeseung's eyes never left yours as minjeong made her way down his neck. you felt a heat wave go down your body as you pushed away from intak suddenly.

"do you know what?" you said, passing your cup to intak who was greatly confused, "i really am not feeling good, i'm just going to go to bed, i'll text you tomorrow, tak."

"oh? do you want me to walk you to your room or-" intak asked, concern painted on his face.

"no!" you got out quickly, "just, can you make sure sunoo gets home okay? if you ever see him around."

"yeah for sure." intak nodded, moving so that you could leave, "i hope you feel better, y/n."

"thanks." you mumbled, putting your head down as you made an escape to your bedroom. you felt tears prickle at your eyes. you were so hurt and embarrassed you just wanted to get away from everyone before anyone saw you cry- especially if sunghoon found out you were crying.

you didn't even glance at heeseung as you walked past the sitting area and towards the stairs. you couldn't bear to see him and minjeong anymore- it was all too much. you didn't think he'd actually fuck another girl in your house with you there.

so now, you're alone in your bedroom with thoughts of heeseung replaying in your mind, while he's in the room beside you, legs tangled with another girl.

-

you didn't leave your room all saturday.

sunghoon knocked around noon hour, and you told him you were hungover, making him leave you alone to sleep all day.

you were far from hungover.

you were heartbroken.

you and heeseung weren't a couple, so you shouldn't be this upset. but you couldn't help but feel disappointed. all your hopes were just crushed within the span of 20 minutes last night right in front of you with a girl that was obviously perfect for heeseung.

any girl that wasn't sunghoon's sister seemed to be perfect for him.

when your parents came home sunday night, you were forced out of your room so you could all eat dinner together.

you weren't sure if everyone else could tell how awkward it was between you and heeseung, but the tension was so thick you felt like you were being smothered.

"so, did you guys do anything fun this weekend?" your mother asked the three of you.

"nah, not really, just watched movies and played video games." sunghoon shrugged, smirking at heeseung.

"oh i see, y/n? did you do anything?"

"i hung out with sunoo and intak, that's about it." you saw heeseung tense at the mention of intak, forcing yourself to not roll your eyes at him.

"ah, so just the usual stuff happened around here, then i see." your father joked, eating his meal.

"yeah, pretty much." heeseung nodded at him from across the table.

you felt like dinner was going on much longer than it usually does. you were waiting for the right time to excuse yourself back to your room but the time seemed to never come. your parents were explaining how their weekend went at your aunt's. sunghoon and heeseung were talking about university. you kept quiet the entire time until they were all finished and tired.

your parents went to bed early that night, tired from the weekend's long work. you heard sunghoon and heeseung watching a movie downstairs in the living while you sat awake in your bedroom, scrolling through social media aimlessly.

over time you heard less and less of heeseung and sunghoon's voices being carried up the stairs and wondered if they had gone to bed. you open your bedroom door and head to the bathroom, seeing the flashing lights of the tv on downstairs still, and the quiet voices coming from it.

heeseung hears someone in the bathroom from his guest bedroom as he starts to change for bed. he figures maybe sunghoon woke up and is going to his bed after falling asleep on the couch.

when you walk out of the bathroom you don't really expect to see heeseung standing there, staring at you solemnly. you see him open his mouth to speak but you start to make a beeline straight to your bedroom.

"no, y/n!" heeseung whisper shouts, putting his hand out to stop you. you sigh but stop and look at him, "i'm sorry."

you scoff and start to walk again, this time his hand meets your upper arm, stopping you in place.

"y/n, seriously i'm sorry. i- i didn't know she'd do that- that she'd kiss me." heeseung keeps his voice low, afraid that sunghoon or your parents would wake up and hear your conversation.

"you don't need to be sorry, hee. it's not like we're together or anything." you forcefully smiled, trying to end the conversation before you burst out in tears in front of him. "you can fuck who you want."

"i didn't fuck her y/n."

your breath hitched at his statement, "w-well i'm sorry to hear that." you tried to turn away from him.

"y/n, would you stop acting like this?" heeseung grunted lowly, "i didn't want to fuck her anyways. i- i don't like her like that."

"acting like what? i'm being myself." you defended yourself, trying to make him believe the false facade you were putting on. you didn't want him to know just how much he had hurt you.

"no, you're not," heeseung shook his head in frustration, "i-i'm sorry y/n, it was the only way i could get your attention, you were ignoring me!"

you scoffed at his explanation, "i think i simple fucking text would've sufficed."

"a text?" heeseung laughed dryly, "what was i supposed to say to you over text? hey stop ignoring me and get away from the stupid asshole intak?"

"he is not a stupid asshole, are you kidding me? and you could've texted me at least once throughout the school year!" you pushed a hand through your hair out of frustration, "look we can't talk right now, i don't want to wake anyone up."

a beat of silence went through the air as heeseung took in your words, "well why didn't you text me?" he spoke softer, barely audible in the quiet hallway.

"because you're away in the capital city in university. you're busy and i didn't want to bother you like all the other girls you use."

heeseung's eyes softened at your statement.

"you could've fucking texted me y/n. i'd never think of you like any of the other girls i've screwed around with because you are nothing like them." heeseung took a step closer to you, "you are so much more."

you shook your head and looked down at your clammy hands.

"what is it, y/n?"

"it's just- last time i saw you you were pushing me away and saying we can't be together and- and now you're like saying the opposite."

heeseung moved closer to you now, making you look up at him in the dark, "god," he said almost out of breath, "why did you have to be related to sunghoon?"

a small smile cracked onto your face, "why did you have to be sunghoon's best friend?"

you can see heeseung smile down at you, his face slowly getting closer to yours. you see his tongue dart across his bottom lip as he scans your entire face. his hand comes up and brushes your nestled hair out of your face. it's so quiet as your faces inch closer and closer, both of you forgetting about the consequences of your being together.

it's so quiet that when the faint sound of the tv turns off you pull apart immediately in shock. rustling from downstairs getting closer to the stairs makes you both freak out and stumble away from each other in the hall.

a tired-looking sunghoon appears at the top of the stairwell. his black hair all tangled up, indicating that he had just woken up. he looks at the two of you in confusion. "hey, guys? what's going on?"

"uh, nothing. i'm just going to bed now, saying bye to y/n, you know." heeseung shrugged casually. sunghoon looked over at you, and you just nodded, unable to speak with the amount of adrenaline and fear rushing through your body.

"uh, ok, i'm going to bed up here now, that couch fucken killed my neck." sunghoon lazily chuckled, "night," he spoke and turned to go to his bedroom.

"night." heeseung and you replied to your brother, a sigh of relief coming from the both of you as his door closed after him.

you looked at heeseung, standing in front of his bedroom with an unreadable expression on his. "have a good sleep, y/n."

"yeah, you too."

heeseung and you both went into your separate bedrooms, wishing that there wasn't a wall in between you as your thoughts raced about each other.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next week started with heeseung and you creating some sort of tension with one another- it was awkward but full of need and lust that neither one of you could act out on.

the amount of lust that had built up between you two was no joke.

there were so many times when heeseung just wanted to wrap his arms around your waist and whisper all the dirty things he wanted to do to you in your ear.

and if it wasn't for sunghoon being around all the time you would've jumped heeseung's bones by now.

your parents were both at work, while sunghoon and heeseung had gone over to jake's house for the day. the house would finally be silent and you could be alone with your thoughts for a minute. of course, all your thoughts went straight to heeseung- and how his body would look on top of you- how he would fuck you.

you tried to put it off as much as you could, but when your hand started to trail its way down your core and slip so easily into your shorts and panties there was no way you could pull it back out.

you slowly started to rub your clit in small, slow circles. imagining that heeseung was doing it instead. it felt so good, but you knew that heeseung could make it feel even better.

you imagined heeseung whispering dirty things in your ear like the way he's been whispering all week to you when sunghoon was just around the corner. you imagine his warmth on top of you as he tries to get you to climax all over his fingers. he would tell you just how much of a good girl you were being for him.

your other hand slid up and started to massage your breast through your tight tank top. your thumb and forefinger squeezed your nipple in between them, adding pleasure to your core. your fingers started going at a faster pace, chasing after the climax that you so desired.

heeseung had left jake's house early, wanting to go to bed early tonight because he planned on spending time with his actual family tomorrow, needing him to wake up early.

he didn't think he was necessarily being quiet when he walked into your house, not even aware that you were even still home.

"heeseung." he heard your voice from down the hall, you sounded whiny and out of breath, concern retching onto his face at the thought that you were possibly hurt.

your bedroom door was open by the smallest amount, just enough for heeseung to look in and see you layed out on top of your bed. your hair was flayed out against your pillow, your eyes were closed and your mouth was slightly open in a blissed-out way.

heeseung's own mouth dropped open once he scanned down your body and saw what you were doing under your little shorts.

heeseung was having an internal conflict with himself : you're sunghoon's little fucking sister! but you're y/n and my god you're hot. he was about to turn and leave until his name left your mouth again, signaling that he wasn't hearing things beforehand.

your fingers were rubbing your little clit at the thought of him.

"fuck." heeseung let out, in awe of how cute and sexy you looked at the same time with the strap of your tank top slipping off of your shoulder.

you immediately sat up, ripping your hand out of your pants at the sound of someone outside your door. you had thought had closed it all the way!

your cheeks flushed red once you met eyes with heeseung. internal dread took over you as you grabbed a pillow from behind you and tried to cover your body more from his eyesight.

heeseung's mouth opened and closed as he tried to find some words to say.

"heeseung~!" sunghoon singsonged as he entered his house.

fear-filled both you and heeseung more as heerseung's hand scrambled out and pulled the doorknob of your bedroom closed before rushing down the stairs, fixing his jeans so sunghoon wouldn't see his (hopefully not) obvious boner.

"hey, man!" heeseung greeted his younger friend at the bottom stair, "thought you'd stay at jake's for a bit longer, no?"

"nah, i wanted to eat dinner here tonight." sunghoon replied, taking off his shoes, "is y/n home?"

"uh, i'm not sure, if she is i haven't seen her, i kinda just got here."

"ah, ok." sunghoon nodded, "do you wanna play some fifa until my parents get home?"

'"yeah for sure! i just have to get in the shower first, okay?" heeseung replied, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

"okay, but hurry! i want at least one game before they're home!"

"okay okay!" heeseung laughed, turning around and quickly running into the bathroom. he shut the door and locked it before anyone else could come in.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." heeseung mumbled to himself, looking down at his crotch. thank god sunghoon wasn't looking at him while he was downstairs.

heeseung quickly turned on the shower and got undressed. his pale body uncovering itself and releasing his boner. he cursed his past self for putting on jeans this morning. the tightness of them was suffocating and he basically ripped them off.

god, heeseung felt so guilty for masturbating in the shower. he felt like he was fourteen years old again and just starting puberty. but he felt even more guilty that he was masturbating to the thought of his best friend's little sister.

he had tried so hard to get rid of his feelings for you- because there was just o way that the two of you could work anything out between you two without ruining things with sunghoon for the both of you.

but after 10 months of not seeing you or talking to you, it had just seemed to make his feelings for you stronger. you were so much more mature now, you had finally finished growing into your body, and your voice had toned down a pitch that made him almost melt every time you spoke.

your breasts were perkier, and your clothes were tighter, god he wonders what the guys at your school must think of you now.

he'd be so quick to brag to any of them that he was the one that you thought of when you got yourself off. lee heeseung was the one that park sunghoon's little sister thought of.

though, to heeseung, you were so much more to him than sunghoon's little sister, though, in reality, he knew that you'd have to stay that way. no matter how many times he's thought about- or almost kissed you, you were off-limits. and sunghoon has made that very clear.

still, he couldn't get his mind away from your little whines and your fingers rubbing your clit. his hand got faster and faster as he got himself off in the shower- in your shower.

heeseung thought of fucking you so that you would whine his name out loud so breathlessly again. he thought about how tight your pussy must be- how he'd be the first one to fuck you properly. he wanted to get you to come undone on his cock- for you to scream out his name then as you cling onto him for dear life as your climax hit you.

"god." heeseung whined out quietly, thanking the shower for sounding out his volume. he couldn't hold it any longer, letting his release go, squirting his cum all over his hand and shower wall. his red tip pulsating as he put his forehead on the shower wall beside him.

"fuck." he let out a frustrated sigh, what has he done to himself?

it had been two weeks into your summer vacation with heeseung back to living in your house. it would be the last summer where sunghoon would be living with you for good since he was leaving with heeseung in late august.

you hadn't spoken or even seen heeseung since he caught you masturbating the other day. sunghoon and he had been out with their other friends.

that's good for you though. you didn't know how you could face heeseung after the scene of you that he had seen. you prayed that maybe he'd hit his head and forget about it, but you knew that the chances of that were very slim.

since it was summer break, your sleeping schedule was out of control. you'd stay up until the early hours of the morning and not wake up until dinner time.

your stomach growled as you lay in bed, watching a tv series that you had found online. you glanced up at the time; 3:28 am. you groaned but decided that you should get up and get a little night snack.

at this hour, your house was either blasting with music or as quiet as mouse- depending on whether or not your parents were home. tonight, it was quiet. you could see the flash of the tv on downstairs, but it was obviously muted with no sound coming out of it. you checked and saw that all bedroom doors were closed in the hall- making you wonder who was downstairs at this hour. though, they were probably passed out on the couch.

you quietly made your way down the stairs, walking past the living room and seeing an empty room, thanking the gods that heeseung wasn't there.

the cold kitchen tiles made you thankful that you had socks on as you opened the fridge door, preparing to get some leftovers from the dinner that your mother had made hours ago. you were trying so hard to be quiet, not wanting to wake up anyone upstairs.

"can i have some?" a voice said from behind you, making you jump and cover your mouth with your hand, preventing you from screaming out loud.

heeseung stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing a white shirt and his usual grey sweatpants that he normally slept in.

"uh. yeah sure," you replied, turning away from him to avoid eye contact. how was he able to act so normal around you?

"great." heeseung said, you could hear him behind you shuffle to sit down at the small island in your kitchen. "what're you doing awake at this hour?"

"i slept all day today, so i'm wide awake now," you spoke softly, trying not to die out of embarrassment right on the spot. you focused on putting some of your mother's food on a plate for you and heeseung.

"ah, i see." heeseung acknowledged, his fist holding his head up as he looked at you. all you could feel were his eyes on your back. you wished you could have worn something other than your shorts and a tank top. "i like your shorts." you felt the hairs on your body go up at heeseung's compliment as if he was reading your mind. these were the exact shorts you were wearing the other day when he caught you getting off to him.

you cleared your throat as you turned to him with your plates in hand, "uh, thanks." you practically whispered, too afraid to use your voice fully.

heeseung took his plate from you, "thank you for the food." he smiled up at you, his hand covering your own as you transferred the plate from one another. instantly you felt your fingers weaken as his fingers covered your own. they were so long and dainty, so much prettier than your own. "and i'm sorry about the other day, i thought you would've heard me come in."

your eyes widened at his 'apology', humiliation filled you as you turned and looked at him again, a cocky smirk was evident on his face.

"i-i," you started but you had no idea what to say, you wanted to run and hide upstairs in your bedroom for the next month and a half and never come out.

"do you always think of me when you do that?" you could hear small laughter in his tone with his question.

"heeseung." you stated, no hint of laughter in your own, only pure seriousness and humiliation. "i don't think of you, like that. ever." you lied, you can't remember the last time you didn't think about him when your fingers were playing with your pussy.

"c'mon y/n. i heard you moan my name." heeseung shook his head with a knowing look. "at first i thought i was hearing things, but with the way that you couldn't just stop staring at my fingers just now, i don't think i was just hearing things." you cursed yourself for moaning his name so idiotically loud last time you got off.

heeseung took a step towards you again, so now you're bodies were almost touching as he looked down at you. he towered over you when he stood. "plus, you're such a bad liar y/n, you only ever call me 'heeseung' when you're hiding something." suddenly you were thrown back into all the memories that you were hiding something when he spoke to you. did you really only use his full name when you were trying to keep something hidden? how did he know you so well?

"so? do you always think of me when you get yourself off, y/n?" heeseung repeated himself, a cocky smirk on his face as he watched you try to avoid eye contact. when you could only offer a meek nod and a shy smile, a big smile spread across heeseung's pretty lips. "how about i give you something to think about next time you need to cum?" you looked up at him in shock at his words, not expecting him to speak to you like this. this was something that you only ever imagined he say to you. "can i touch you y/n?" he bent his head down so he could look right into your eyes. you nodded in response. "yeah?" he wanted to confirm.

"yes. hee, please touch me." heeseung's body pushed you up against the kitchen wall behind you suddenly. his warm-core meeting your own as his scent filled your senses. you turned your head to the side and could see directly out of the kitchen doorway the stairs and part of the living room. if anyone came down they could totally see you and heeseung,.

"relax, y/n, sunghoonie passed out hours ago and you know how heavy your parents sleep, we'll be fine." heeseung whispered into your ear, sensing your worry.

"okay." you whispered out to him, relaxing into his touch. you thought he was going to kiss you when his face got close to yours, but he turned down and started to kiss down your neck. you moved your head to the side so he could have better access to finding your sweet spot. you bucked your hips into him when he found it. making him smile against your neck as he continued to kiss there. "you can't leave marks, hee." you reminded him, making him grunt out at the realization.

"you're sure i can touch you, y/n?" heeseung pulled away once more, hoping to not ruin things between the two of you and your brother.

"please, hee, i wanna feel you." heeseung smiled at your response kissing your forehead before running his hands down your sides and began playing with the hem of your shorts. your faces were close together as you both looked down at his dainty fingers slipping into your shorts. it surprised him when he realized you weren't wearing any panties.

his fingers were instantly met with your wetness, spreading your juices around and coating your fingers. if it was anyone else besides heeseung you were sure that you'd be embarrassed, but you couldn't help it now. this was something that you had thought about for years, and now it was finally happening.

heeseung slipped one finger into your core, making you close your eyes at the impact at first, ready to feel more of him. he kissed your shoulder as he slowly worked his one finger in and out of you, warming you up.

his thumb started to circle your engorged clit, making you buck your hips up at the tension. you could feel him smile against your skin at your actions. no matter what situation you were in, heeseung would always find you cute.

when heeseung adds another finger inside of you, he slowly starts to curl his fingers inside, trying to find your sensitive spot. you have to bite back your moan when he finds it, your grip tightening on his shoulder, letting him know. heeseung's pace slowly starts to speed up as he watches your face curl up in pleasure.

"god princess, you don't understand how long i've wanted to feel you like this," he whispers out to you, your shampoo filling his senses as he leans his face into your head, pressing soft kisses against you, an action that was so different compared to the speed he was going at on your core.

his confession sent butterflies to your stomach and your heart, you could only shake your head as a response to him, looking him in the eyes.

"do you not know how many guys would fucking kill to see you like this, y/n? why do you think sunghoon is so protective of you? do you know how many times he's had to deal with sleazy guys talking about what they'd do to you if they had the chance? and god it pisses me off when i have to hear it, too."

"w-why does it piss you off, hee?" you whimper out to him, the pressure on your clit growing as his actions continue. heeseung swears his cock grows harder at the way you say his nickname.

"because no guy deserves to see you like this, to feel you like this, to get you to come undone on their fingers like this. except for me right y/n? you're just for me, yeah?"

"yes, hee, o-only for you."

heeseung bends his head into your neck again, kissing everyone as a sign of appreciation for being such a good girl for him. you're always such a good girl.

he feels your hole clench around his fingers as he speeds up his actions. "are you gonna come for me y/n?" you nodded weakly as a response, your lower stomach becoming tight as you feel heeseung all around you, wishing that it wouldn't stop ever.

"come on, y/n. i wanna feel you come all over my fingers." heeseung whispers into your ear, biting gently on the tip of it.

"i'm- i, coming." you moaned out, wrapping your hand around heeseung's wrist as he speeds up even faster.

at once, your climax hits you hard, your eyes shutting close at the pleasure heeseung gave you. heeseung slowed down his pace when you were calming down, kissing your forehead gently before he pulled out, not wanting to overstimulate you.

he put his fingers in between you two so you could see. his fingers were wet and glistening from your juices. he slipped his fingers into his mouth, humming around them.

"hee." you meekly whispered out, your hand coming onto hold his wrist, embarrassed that he was tasting you so feverishly.

"what?" heeseung put his fingers away from you with a laugh, "you taste good."

"hee," you whine, a smile of your own coming onto your face through humiliation.

"you're so cute." heeseung confessed yet again, backing away from you so you could straighten out against the wall.

the kitchen fell into the same silence that filled the rest of the house. you were still basking in the fact that lee heeseung just fingered you into the kitchen. it was seriously a dream come true.

"so, i guess i'll you go eat now." heeseung said casually, looking at your untouched plate of food on the island.

"yeah, okay. i'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"yeah if you don't sleep all day again." heeseung teased you, passing you your plate of food.

"whatever." you rolled your eyes with a smile, backing out of the kitchen and heading back to your bedroom up the stairs. at the top you turned around and saw heeseung leaning onto the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed across his chest, a smirk on his face as he watched you smile back at him and disappear out of sight.

you left a feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain, but he didn't want to get rid of it.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the morning, you woke up with tiredness still filling your body. you definitely should sleep more, but you wanted to see what heeseung and your brother were doing.

opening your bedroom door, you heard your family's chatter downstairs. you hurriedly skipped downstairs and into the kitchen where they were all sat. your eyes fell immediately onto heeseung, who definitely looked like he needed more sleep as well.

"we'll only be gone three days!" sunghoon said, patting your mom on the shoulder as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"okay, you boys better have fun and be safe ok?" your mother responded, rolling her eyes when heeseung and sunghoon high-fived each other across the table.

"what's going on?" you asked from the doorway, glancing at the spot where heeseung had fingered just mere hours before. your family and heeseung turned and looked at you.

"the boys and we are going to jay's cabin for the weekend." sunghoon teasingly smiled, "and NO you cannot come." you saw heeseung smile down at the table behind sunghoon.

"i wouldn't want to be trapped in the middle of the woods with you guys anyways." you rolled your eyes, grabbing some water from the fridge.

"yeah right, i knew you were gonna ask as soon as i finished the sentence, y/n." sunghoon nudged you teasingly.

"whatever hoonie, i hope you guys have fun." you leaned back against the counter.

"god i hope you guys stay safe, seriously." your mother desperate, your father wrapping his arm around her while winking at the boys.

you were a little upset that you wouldn't be able to see heeseung for a couple of days, after just being so intimate with him. but it's not like you guys were together! no, he just fingered you, that's all. and called you cute. and told you that he gets pissed when other guys talk about you. okay fuck, maybe you were gonna miss him a lot for the next three days.

"let's go pack, hee." sunghoon grabbed heeseung's shoulder, taking him away from the table and back upstairs. heeseung barely looked at you as he left, making your chest feel empty. of course, he probably just didn't want sunghoon to think there was anything going on between you two.

you sat down at the island in your kitchen and started scrolling through social media while your mother prepared breakfast for everyone. you almost dropped your phone in your water when you just so happened to press minjeong's snapchat story.

it was a selfie of her and her friends in their bikini tops : so excited for this weekend! see you guys soon! @ heeseung @ sunghoon @ jay @ jake.

the sinking feeling returned to your stomach as you stared at the four girls that would be going on the trip with them. you already knew what minjeong looked like very well, but in this picture, she looked extra pretty. she was the complete opposite of what you looked like, and she was heeseung's age, making her more mature than you.

heeseung would definitely be into more mature girls. they were sexy and experienced and knew what they wanted. you were younger and cute. that's what he called you. cute. the once compliment now added to the sinking feeling in your stomach. maybe that's why heeseung wasn't looking at you this morning. you were sunghoon's baby sister, so cute and easy to forget. now he gets to spend three days with sexy minjeong, who's already tried to get into heeseung's pants before. maybe she succeeded when they were away at university, who knows?

fuck. now you really didn't want heeseung to go.

you stayed put in your bedroom for the rest of the morning, even when you heard sunghoon and heeseung leaving. you watched them jump into jake's jeep when he and jay pulled up to pick them up. their bags were thrown into the truck before jumping into the backseat. when they drove away you thought for sure your stomach had gone with them it felt so low and empty.

heeseung 🤎 : i'll see you sunday :)

your phone buzzed when he texted you.

you stared at his message for a while, not sure if you should answer or not. by the time you stopped contemplating if you should reply or not, it had been hours and you decided to just leave it. it's not his fault that there are so many sexy girls that would kill to have him on top of them, but still, you wanted him to just be yours.

you avoided going onto snapchat for the first day while they were away. you couldn't deal with seeing them all have fun without. and god forbid you to see any of the girls and heeseung being a little too close.

you had to deal with heeseung bringing girls to your house, making out with them in front of you, or talking about fucking some girl from your school for years. so now, when you've finally had your chance with heeseung, you didn't know how you could ever go back to pretending that what he was saying wasn't bothering you.

sunoo came over saturday night, hoping to cheer you up a little.

"heeseung did what to you in your kitchen?" sunoo gasped loudly, making you cover his mouth in fear that your parents would hear and put two and two together about what he was talking about.

"shh god! do you always have to be so loud! you tsked at your best friend.

"i'm sorry! but i mean, this is something that we've only ever joked about for years!"

"that's what im saying!" you nodded to him, glad that it wasn't just you that was shocked.

"god, was it good?"

"really good." you raised your eyebrows, making the both of you laugh.

"so now what? are you guys finally gonna date?"

"of course not! are you kidding me?" you lay back on your bed, thinking about how that could never happen in a million years. not when heeseung is so important to sunghoon.

"why not? i'm sure sunghoon wouldn't kill his best friend?" sunoo lay down beside you on his stomach so he could face you.

"i'm sure he would." you nodded sarcastically, "heeseung is the only person that sunghoon's ever 100 percent trusted. how would he feel if that person went and started dating me?! his little sister?!" you exclaimed, your hands shaking out in the air.

"god, you need a drink." sunoo laughed.

"fuck, yeah i do."

sunoo and you drank quietly in your room until it was approaching 10pm. you were both upset, and drunk and you couldn't stop thinking about heeseung.

"i cannot believe he's with that minjeong girl right now!" you slurred, trying to apply some lip gloss in your mirror as sunoo lay on your bed.

"i heard that she slept with that yeonjun guy before he graduated." sunoo nodded, looking at you through your mirror's reflection.

"choi yeonjun?!" you gasped in shock. he was only the school's hottest it boy for years. even when you were in elementary school you heard about his beauty. "my god, this minjeong is living the dream." you continued to stare at yourself in the mirror with a frown. "i wish i was as sexy as her. guys seem to only like the sexy girls, i swear."

"you're sexy, y/n!" sunoo cheered, coming up behind you and squeezing your cheeks.

"god, sunoo." you pushed his hands off of your face, "i am definitely not sexy when you squeeze my face like that." making both of you laugh.

"i say, you get all dressed up and send a sexy pic to heeseung, i'm sure that'll make him realize just how sexy you are, he'll want to come home right away!" sunoo planted the idea in your head, allowing for you to contemplate it. if you hadn't been drinking for five hours already, you're sure that you would've been totally against the idea. but you were so intoxicated, and jealous of minjeong and missing heeseung that you agreed to the idea immediately.

sunoo and you tore through your closet for a while, trying to figure out what to wear for the picture.

"what about this?" sunoo pulled out a black-lined, mesh bralette from the back of your closet. "i think this is sexy."

"that is too sexy and i think i'll be too weird if i wear that." you gasped. you had only worn it once underneath your clothes and you felt uncomfortable all day. but maybe that was a good thing. you should get out of your cute comfortableness and into something more sexy and mature.

"what? no! heeseung will love this, y/n. when has he ever seen you in something like this?" sunoo asked, which made you think about it. all he ever really saw you in was your school uniform and your pajamas. you never really tried to go all out when you were in your own home.

"fine, give me the thing i'll go put it on." you snatched the mesh fabric out of sunoo's hand, a devilish grin on sunoo's face as he cheered you on.

-

pulling the bralette over your head and down your body seemed to be the only easy part of this 'mission'. staring at yourself in the mirror while wearing it was hard to get used to. you had never worn such a thing so carelessly before.

sunoo gasped when you walked back into your bedroom with the bralette on.

"my god y/n, you really are sexy!" he jumped up, shaking your shoulders, making you feel a little better about your appearance.

trying to take a sexy selfie was definitely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life up to this point. sunoo was trying to teach you tips on how to find a good selfie angle that would broadcast to heeseung that you are done being cute- you're sexy now.

"now, put the camera higher up!" sunoo instructed, following right after. "yeah like that! now only put one side of your face in it! - and make sure your chest is in it still!"

*click*

"well, let's see it." sunoo said, pushing so he sat beside you as you pressed the picture. both of you gasping as it appeared on the screen.

"sexy," you said in unison, high-fiving each other.

you stood up and put your sweater back on over your body, wanting to cover up as soon as possible again, "god and now i'm scared to send it to him." you told sunoo nervously.

"what? why? it's a good picture!"

"yeah, it's a good picture but it's heeseung and it's me," you explained to your pink haired friend.

"i don't understand. don't you want to do this? i thought you liked him."

"i do! but i don't know. what if he doesn't like it?"

"y/n, trust me, he'll love it. here come sit, let's press send together."

you sat close to sunoo, opening up heeseung's and your messages, his unanswered text from the day before still there.

"okay, ready?" sunoo asked you, holding your phone with you.

"ready."

"three, two, one." you both press send at the same time with your thumbs.

"ahhhh! what did we just do?" you stood up, fear coursing through you.

"i don't know! you just sent lee heeseung a sexy picture!" sunoo stood up after you, feared for you.

"why did we do that?!"

"i don't know!"

"i need a drink!" you gasped, searching around your room for the liquor bottle that sunoo had brought over.

-

heeseung wanted to go home as soon as they got to the cabin yesterday.

he didn't know what was wrong with him.

usually, this was his type of scene: a party, four hot chicks, and his three best friends. what else could he ask for? he laughed at himself as he thought this.

y/n. that's what else he could ask for.

he'd trade all the hot chicks in the world if it meant that he could have you all to himself.

heeseung remembers the first time he saw park sunghoon. it was the first day of his year 10 and he saw a short year 9 wandering lost around the hallways. heeseung remembers thinking, 'hey give that kid some height and a good fashion sense and he wouldn't be that embarrassing to hang around with.". heeseung laughs at the memory.

heeseung and sunghoon clicked almost instantly when heeseung introduced himself in the hallway. they were both driven and had goals, and they really liked to fucking party. sunghoon introduced heeseung to jay and jake later that day at lunch, and that's how their little friend group had started. the 02z and their 'grandpa'.

"i told you not to call me that, jake!" heeseung shoved jake's shoulder in the cafeteria.

"i know i know! i'm sorry, grandpa- i mean heeseung! heeseung!!" jake screeched in shock, making the jay and sunghoon laugh at jake's slip up. "i really didn't mean to call you it that time!"

"yeah, whatever." heeseung rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile as he continued to eat his ramen for lunch.

he remembers when park sunghoon first invited him to his house. he was so honored that someone was giving him a chance to get out of his own house.

heeseung never really got along with the rest of his family. he loved them, and they loved him, but they all had the same morals and values in life that were opposite of heeseungs. it was difficult to get through a conversation with them about anything. that's why he was so happy when sunghoon invited him over- it meant that he could stay somewhere away from his family.

he remembers the first time that he saw you. you were sitting at the island in your kitchen. sunghoon was introducing him to his mother, but heeseung could barely take his eyes off of you.

he knew that sunghoon had a little sister, but he didn't know that she'd be so cute. you were sitting there eating the dinner that your mom had made you, your black hair that matched sunghoon's was thrown up in a messy ponytail and your knee was pressed against the counter from the position you sat in the chair.

heeseung remembers the way that you tried to avoid eye contact with him as you blushed when you two made eye contact. the mole on your nose bridge matched sunghoon's, but it looked so much more appealing on you than it did your brother. he remembers your quiet little 'hi' that you spoke out, making heeseung smile at the memory.

when sunghoon pulled him away from his family, he remembers wishing for an excuse to go back downstairs so that he could see you again, but no ideas really came to his head.

the next day at school, heeseung asked jay and jake about you.

"god, don't even mention her when sunghoon's around." jay shook his head, taking a bite out of his food.

"what? why?" heeseung asked curiously.

"has sunghoon not had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with you?" jake asked him from across the table.

"no? what the hell is that?" heeseung asked, surprised when jay and jake made a knowing look at each other.

"trust me, you'll get it some day." jay poionted his fork at heeseung.

"basically, sunghoon is just really protective over y/n. he tells everyone that if they even stare at her for longer than five seconds he'll kill them. so yeah, don't even try to mess around with park y/n." jake explained to the older boy, who could only nod in response. heeseung mentally kicked you out of his brain that day, wishing to never think of you again while he was friends with sunghoon.

but it was so hard not to think about you when he saw you every day. and every day you seemed to get more and more attractive to him. the sarcasm that you used with your brother, the care that used with your friends and parents, the natural beauty that you gave off in the morning when you just woke up. it was all too much for heeseung to be able to ignore.

so heeseung waited, and waited, and waited for the day that sunghoon would have the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him.

but the day never came.

heeseung had heard sunghoon have the conversation with practically everyone that he had ever interacted with- except for heeseung. it made heeseung nervous. so nervous.

he waiting for the day that he'd let it slip that he thinks sunghoon's little sister is the hottest fucking thing he's ever seen and would mess up his years-long friendship with his best friend- but it never happened. sunghoon had so much trust in heeseung that anything about you and heeseung together never really bothered sunghoon.

heeseung wondered if it was maybe because he was older than sunghoon. he was more mature and responsible. but that didn't explain why sunghoon had held lee jeno by the collar when he heard that jeno wanted to 'fuck park y/n from behind' since jeno was a year older than heeseung himself.

he didn't know exactly what it was with himself that sunghoon had trusted so much. sunghoon has personally seen how heeseung has treated some of the girls in the school. he has heard heeseung explain all the dirty things he wants to do to certain girls that they all find hot. but still, he's the only boy that sunghoon trusts around his 'baby' sister.

when he graduated last year and almost kissed you in the hall, he knew that he was in some dangerous territory. he wished then that sunghoon would have had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him because there was nothing stopping him from taking you right then and there. it pained him to come to his senses and pull away from you. how could he be such a terrible friend to his best friend?

heeseung thought that his feelings would go away over his first year at university. there were so many new, hot girls around! new hot girls that he wouldn't have time to think about you he'd be so busy with them. but that only worked for the first month.

no girls could compare to you, not even the ones he knew had some good pussy; like minjeong. he had heard so many stories about kim minjeong (choi yeonjun even fucked her!) but he couldn't bear to hook up with her when all he could see was your face and hear your laughter.

when he returned home three weeks ago, he didn't expect you to have matured too much. sure you were still cute but he couldn't even look at you without thinking of all the nasty things he would do to you. 'thank god sunghoon can't read minds' he remembers thinking when he stepped into the door and saw you standing there on the steps.

ever since he's been back he's had a hard time holding himself back from you. before all he had to do was think of his friendship with your brother, but now, he felt like that meant almost nothing to him if it meant that he could be with you.

heeseung felt guilty after fingering you in your kitchen. the home where a family welcomes him with big arms when his own family doesn't. under the same roof where his best friend lies asleep, trusting him with his life. just for what? for him to use you like all the other girls he's used before? it's not like you could ever be together. it was a one-time thing and that's it and now he's probably hurt you since you didn't even answer his text yesterday.

his mind was just full of park y/n that it was pooling out the sides of his ears.

his phone vibrating shook him out of his thoughts of you for a millisecond, before bringing him right back in.

park y/n <3 : Slide to view image.

heeseung instantly opened his phone to see what you had sent him. thinking that it was probably some stupid meme, or had some sort of inside joke that would be between the two of you.

god was he wrong.

he abruptly put his phone to his chest, in fear that any of the seven other people (including your brother!!!!!) would see. they all seemed to be in their own worlds as he sat in front of the small campfire they had built. sunghoon had one of minjeong's friends on his lap, so he totally wasn't interested in anything that anyone else was doing.

heeseung put his phone's brightness on low as he pressed the picture you had sent him. never in his life did he think you'd send him such a picture or wear such a revealing top.

the more he looked at your picture, the more he could feel his cock grow hard in his pants. your tits were basically on full display for him as the black mesh bralette you were wearing hid almost nothing. the way you were biting your red-tinted lip drove him crazy. your pretty hair swiveled down your exposed shoulder- the shoulder where he had kissed you so soft before that it had made you whine out so needily for him.

"fuck." heeseung mumbled out, trying to hide his boner.

"what's wrong heeseungie, are you okay?" minjeong suddenly appeared beside him, making him lock his phone immediately.

"what? yeah! i'm fine!" heeseung said with a forced cheery voice.

"hm," minjeong pouted, sitting on the chair's handle beside him, "you haven't been yourself since we've gotten here, are you sure you're okay?"

yeah! i'm fine! i have a boner bc of sunghoon's little sister and SUNGHOON IS SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE! heeseung mentally screamed at the clueless girl beside him.

"yeah, i'm good." heeseung nodded, pulling his sweater done more to cover his bulge.

"how about you come up to my room with me? maybe i could make you feel great!" minjeong winked at him.

and if heeseung was his past self. the self that didn't know what your pussy tasted like, that didn't know you liked to be called princess when you're getting off, that didn't know just how much you liked him back- then sure, he'd follow kim minjeong up to her temporary room and fuck her. he'd fuck her so that he'd forget about not being able to ever be with his best friend's sister. but he was just not that heeseung anymore.

uh, i don'-" heeseung was about to decline when someone from across their small little outdoor kickback had answered practically for him.

"yeah, heeseung, why don't you go have fun upstairs? you really haven't been yourself." sunghoon spoke to him, the girl on his lips smiling at minjeong with a knowing look that made heeseung want to scream.

but of course, sunghoon could see that heeseung hadn't been himself this weekend. sunghoon could see that heeseung was anything other than practically in love with his little sister.

"come on heeseungie~!" minjeong whined out, grabbing a hold of his hand.

"okay." heeseung had to force out, smiling at the girl. he remembers thinking about how pretty minjeong was last year. he remembers how all the guys in the school used to drool over her. he'd kill to get inside minjeong just based on how pretty she was. but now, as he's looking up at her from his seat, and the campfire is lighting up her small face, he can't help but think about how average-looking she is. she is no longer the girl that belonged in magazines, or the girl that looks like she could be a princess- she's just okay.

and heeseung thinks that every girl from now will just be 'okay' looking since he's seen how beautiful you are.

minjeong drags him up to her room in the cabin, a small but cozy room and pushes him onto her bed. fuck, i still have a boner and it's NOT from this girl fuck, is all that heeseung can think.

"look, minjeong-" heeseung starts, but is interrupted by her sitting on his lap. her lips start kissing up to his neck, glad to finally have lee heeseung underneath her.

"minjeong." heeseung states, his hands resting on her skin so she can't move closer.

"hm?" she whimpers out to him, too entranced with trying to make him feel good.

"i can't do this... with you." heeseung finishes, and the once pretty girl pulls away from him and looks at him with confusion.

"well what do you mean, heeseungie?" she asks, her nickname for him rolls off her tongue so easily and he hates it. heeseung gently pushes her off of him so that she sits beside him on the bed. "what are you doing?"

"we can't have sex, minjeong."

minjeong scoffs at heeseung, "are you being serious?" she asks, her once the cute tone of her voice drops drastically. "we've been screwing around for how long now? and you're just telling me now that you're uninterested?"

"yeah, pretty much. and i'm sorry."

"oh shut the fuck up." minjeong stands up now, fixing her shirt so it's back in place. her outburst takes heeseung aback as he looks up at her. "i've wanted you since we were in year 10, lee heeseung. and now that i've almost finally got you, i just can't? what is it? seriously? why can't you just want me back?"

heeseung stares at minjeong with an unreadable expression. he has no idea how to respond to such a confession from a girl who's never thought anything about it besides that maybe at one time she was hot.

"hm?" minjeong urges him when he doesn't answer.

"i just... don't like you, like that- i'm sorry! i am! but-"

"you're so pathetic, heeseung. and i mean it. you go around fucking every other girl around here, so many girls that you can't even remember if you've fucked them already or not, and you just can't settle down for one girl? why can't you just be with me? are you really that much of a douchebag?"

heeseung starts to smile at how wrong her statement is about him.

"you think it's funny do you? that you can break so many girls' hearts?" minjeong scoffs at him, crossing her arms across her chest.

"no, that's not the funny part." heeseung shakes his head and looks straight into minjeong's eyes, "the funny part is that i can settle down for one girl. i already have the girl that i can settle down with- but we can't be together. and that's why we can't have sex minjeong, because i love her and it's too painful now to be with anyone but her."

minjeong's eyes soften at his explanation, her arms becoming loose and hanging at her sides as she stares at heeseung. she feels tears well up in her eyes as she realizes that the boy she truly wants has fallen in love with someone else right in front of her.

"well, whoever the girl is, she's one lucky son of a bitch." minjeong states and then takes a deep breath, backing up and opening her bedroom door for heeseung to leave, now counting down the seconds for when she can leave this cabin tomorrow.

-

"fuck sunoo, he read it and hasn't responded." you groan, sitting down on the edge of your bed, your heart beating out of your chest at the word read, "i really fucked it up didn't i?"

"no! you didn't! he's probably just masturbating to it because he couldn't handle your sexiness." sunoo reassured you, coming to rest his head on your stressed shoulder.

"or sunghoon saw it and he's not shoving heeseung's dead body into the lake."

"right, or that." sunoo pointed out sarcastically, making you smile a little bit. "he's probably just drunk and fell asleep. they're coming back tomorrow so you can talk about it then, right?"

"yeah, i guess." you shrugged, laying down in frustration, "ugh, what have i done?"

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

you dreaded the sound of your brother's voice echoing through the house on the late sunday afternoon, the day after you sent lee heeseung a 'sexy selfie'.

"we're home~!" sunghoon called out, cheers from your parents downstairs were heard then. you made your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs to greet your brother and his best friend. your heart was pounding as you saw heeseung's dark green hair in the front hall.

"how was it you guys?" your mother asked, hugging them as they came through the door, your dad was helping move their bags to the side.

"it was fun! jay got so sunburnt he can hardly move!" sunghoon laughed out loud, making heeseung smile.

"oh no," your mother frowned, obviously not finding it as funny as they did. "you guys must be hungry! dinner is ready now so come and eat, you can put away your stuff later! you come down now too, y/n!" your mother pointed you out in your 'hiding' spot in the middle of the staircase. sunghoon and heeseung turned at the mention of your name. sunghoon is backing up to the staircase with his knees bent for you to get on his back.

you climbed on and pulled his hair as a joke, "hey! watch it!" sunghoon grunted out at you, a teasing smile on his face. "one of us has got to have some good hair and it's obviously not gonna be you so you have to protect this one."

"shut up! oh my god!" you laughed out, holding onto his shoulders as he carried you through the house to the table. you rested your cheek on his back and glanced at heeseung, who held a soft smile on his face as he watched you and your brother interact somewhat lovingly.

"so, what did you do at the cabin?" your father asked once you were all sat down in your usual spots.

"eh, just swam and hung around, listened to some music, the usual stuff i guess but in a different location." sunghoon shrugged, winking at heeseung. the wink sent a heavy feeling into your stomach again- a feeling that you're starting to get used to at this point since it happens so much. "i am really tired though." sunghoon suddenly yawned into his plate.

"well that's because it was the first fresh air you've gotten in the past five years- all you do is play video games inside." you teased your brother. "ow!" you yelped, feeling the harsh jab of his foot in your calf.

"Seriously, you guys? will you ever get along properly?" your mother asked, exhaustion showed on her face, "how do you deal with it, heeseung?"

heeseung smiled awkwardly now that all the attention was on him, "i have no idea." he deadpanned, making you all laugh around the table.

-

since sunghoon was so tired from this weekend, he went to bed early, along with your parents who had to prepare for a week full of work starting tomorrow.

so basically your house was silent by 10pm as you lay awake in your bed once again.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you got flashbacks from when he had texted you this before years ago, you wondered if he was having the same memory as he sent it.

you : yes

heeseung 🤎 : can i come to ur room?

you : my door's open

you sat up in your bed waiting for him, unlike the last time he asked to come into your room late at night, it only took him a minute for him to quietly slip into your bedroom.

"hi," he spoke out softly to you as he stood beside your bed, he seemed to be shy as he stood in front of you now.

"do you wanna lay down?" you asked him, figuring that he was just as tired as sunghoon was from being away all weekend.

"if you don't mind." heeseung agreed to it, you removed the corner of your blanket so he could lay down underneath it as an answer.

so now you and lee heeseung were laying together in your bed. both of your hearts were racing as you thought about what to say.

"i uh," heeseung spoke finally, "i liked the picture you sent."

"you did?"

heeseung turned his head to look at you, you were just as pretty in the moonlight as he remembered, "of course i did." his answer made you smile so big, that you felt like you had to hide it. "why wouldn't i have liked it?"

"i don't know," you shrugged, embarrassed at the real reason. heeseung turned so that he was on his side now, his head on your pillow, smelling your shampoo.

"you must know, so just tell me." he urged you gently.

"i'm not- i'm not very sexy, so i wanted to be sexy for you," you confessed with a blush on your pale cheeks.

"y/n," heeseung called you after a minute of silence, his fingers wrapping around your chin so you could look at him, "i think you're sexy all the time. no matter what you do. you don't have to try to be sexy for me when you already are."

"you think i'm sexy?"

"mhm," heeseung nodded against your sheets, you wondered if when he left would his own shampoo be mixed in with yours now, "i think you're cute too, a beautiful, funny, sarcastic, smart, caring. i mean the list could go on about how many great things i find you."

your heart immediately swelled at heeseung's words, this is all that you ever wanted to hear from him and now it's happening. instead of answering, you pushed your lips against his. so you were finally kissing.

instantly, as if it was a habit that's been built up over years, heeseung tangles his fingers into your hair, pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss. it was a sloppy but meaningful kiss, filled with words that neither of you could speak out loud to each other.

heeseung pulled away when both of you were out of breath, "Fuck, y/n." he stared at you with such adoration on his face. you brushed against his grey sweatpants as you tried to pull the blanket over him more, feeling the soft stir of his dick twitch at your movement.

"are you?-" you didn't know how to exactly say what you were thinking but heeseung got it and nodded, a shy smile on his face.

"i'm sorry, i told you that you were sexy."

you grabbed his face in your hands and pressed his lips to yours again in a more feverish way. a way that both of you have been thinking about since you first saw each other.

"i want you heeseung." you whispered to him - to only him.

"yeah?" heeseung asked, pulling your lips onto his again.

"yeah, i want you to be my first." heeseung pulled away far from you then in shock.

"you're first?" heeseung repeated, "you mean, last time- that was the first time you've ever been, you know, finger-?"

"no! that wasn't the first, i mean it was the first time i guy's made me cum, but i now i mean, first as in, sex. full-on sex," you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"oh my god okay, you scared me for a second, jesus." heeseung put a hand over his heart to calm it down. "being fingered really sloppily in a kitchen does not sound like a good first fingering my god."

"yeah, well at least you made me cum." you smiled at him, kissing his cute lips once again.

"i don't want to hurt you though, princess." heeseung pulled away, ;"it always hurts the first time, no?"

"i know you'll be gentle, hee, i trust you." his heart thumped at his chest at your words- now both park siblings trusted him too much,.

"okay, okay." heeseung nodded, kissing you deeply again. you felt his hands sneak over your body going underneath your tank top and pulling it up over your head. even in the dark moonlight, he could see how pretty your breasts were.

"shit, even prettier than how i imagined." heeseung spoke out, his hands coming up to squeeze your hardened nipples, making you whine out.

"sensitive still," you spoke softly, no one's touched like this before, especially no one that you've wanted this long to before.

heeseung felt his cock twitch in his sweatpants again at your words. you were going to kill him. you were going to fucking kill him with how hot you are.

"fuck." heeseung shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist now and moving so that you sat on top of him, right on his bulge that was aching for you.

"i want your top off, too." you whined, your hands roaming over his chest, tugging his shirt off of his head, making him laugh at how cute you're being. you flung his shirt onto the floor once it was over his head. his tan skin still glowing in the moonlight. you had seen heeseung shirtless countless times around your house, in pictures, or in your pool, but never in a situation like this. he was always pretty, but he was beautiful while laying underneath you. all his pretty freckles and scars, free for your eyes only in a time like this.

"beautiful," you spoke your mind, bending down and kissing down his chest until you were above his sweatpant waistband.

"y/n," heeseung moaned out once your hand brushed over his cock.

"i wanna suck you off, hee." heeseung eyes rolled to the back of his head at your words. he's been sucked off so many times before, but he knows that none of them will ever live up to how you will do it.

"next time, princess, okay? i just wanna focus on you now."

you pouted, but let him slip off those fucking shorts he loves seeing you in so much. your bare core open for him to see. "so cute." he admired as his soft hands grazed around your bare body for him to see. his cock was dripping at the thought that he's the only one and will always be the only one to see you like this.

your hands slipped underneath heeseung's sweatpants, your hands encircling his hard cock and pulling it out for you to see. your thighs twitched as it came into eye contact, your pussy leaking onto his sweatpants at how pretty it looked. it matched the rest of him perfectly. Its red tip look painful for how hard it was, and precum was flowing out everywhere for how turned on he was.

your hands jerked him off gently, spreading his precum around so it would fit in your tiny hole. you stood up on your knees, ready for him to finally enter you when he grabbed your wrist.

"wait!" heeseung whispered and shouted at you, "Are you wet enough?" he asked, suddenly his hand slipped between your legs, making you almost cry out from the sudden pleasure. his fingers easily slipped inside of your hole, finding your sensitive spot effortlessly now. when he figured that you were ready for him, he lets you carry on, holding onto his dick and ready to enter you.

slowly but surely you pushed his cock inside of you, his hands ran up and down your sides, encouraging you that you were doing well. you tried to keep your walls unclenched as he eased more inside of you. when you couldn't take any more of him, you put your hands on his chest and sat still for a moment, trying to calm all your nerves and the pain that shot through your core.

heeseung had to physically hold himself back from bucking up into you or moving at all. he was pushing his hips away from you, toward the bed so he wouldn't make you hurt further.

"you're doing so well, princess, feel so good around me already." heeseung moaned out to you, his finger slipping towards your clit and circling it, making you have to bite down on his shoulder to keep you quiet.

"fuck, hee, i really don't know if i can be quiet with you inside of me." you admitted, the feeling of his cock so much.

"i know baby, me neither, but we're gonna have to be unless you want your family to find us." heeseung replied, his fingers still playing with your clit as he waited for you to move. at his words he felt you clench around his cock tightly, making him bite his lip from pleasure, "do you like the thought of people walking in on us? at least then people would know how much we care about each other, yeah?"

you nodded as you started to your hips up and down on his cock, it was already hitting all the perfect spots inside of you.

"god, hee i might cum." you moaned out quietly into his ear.

"already?" heeseung mocked but was also pretty shocked. his fingers sped up around your clit, wanted to feel how tight your walls would clench around him when you came.

your orgasm hit you hard as you continued to move your hips on his cock, rocking your clit into his fingers. your mouth formed a quiet 'O' as your orgasm hit its peak before fading away. "so pretty, my princess." heeseung kissed your forehead, "so pretty when you come undone on my cock."

"you just feel so good." you groaned, grinding your clit down on his pelvis now, feeling his cock twitch inside of you as he watched you get yourself off on him.

heeseung was still holding back from coming as he watched you work yourself up again, using him as a toy. you were seriously the hottest thing he's ever seen and the only thing that was preventing him from coming right then and there was the idea of getting you to come again before him.

your pussy was so wet that if anyone walked past your door they could hear it squelch from the impact of you bouncing up and down on heeseung's cock.

"fuck hee!" you moaned out, leaning down to bite on his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. another orgasm came from you as heeseung played with your clit once again, sending you over the edge.

"shit y/n, you feel so tight around me. i can fucking feel you come on me." heeseung groaned, his eyes rolling back to his head again as he held himself back from coming inside of you. you stopped your movements as your second orgasm subsided, needing a breather for coming so hard twice so quick.

"are you good, princess?" heeseung whispered to you, kissing your head as you calmed down.

"yeah, so good." you slurred back to him, feeling drunk off the pleasure that his cock was giving you, you've never felt so good in your entire life.

"can you come again for me? just once more, i'm so close." heeseung asked you, his hips grinding in slow circles underneath you.

"y-yeah, only if you fuck me now."

"i got you, princess." heeseung nodded, before gently flipping you over so that he was on top of you, his cock not slipping out of you once.

the two of you were silent as heeseung slowly pounded into you, taking his time with you as if this would be the first and last time he's gotten you like this.

he;'s taken his time to remember how you feel, how you look, and how you sound when you're so fucked out for him. it's surely only what dreams are made out of.

heeseung gives you a few more hard thrusts until his cum was filling you up, a moan of your own escaping at the feeling, a smaller orgasm taking over your body as you both still against each other, taking in the moment of pleasure between you two.

you feel heeseung's cum gush out of you as he pulls his limp dick out of you now, careful not to touch your sensitive clit.

"mm, heeseung." you called his full name, catching his full attention now, "i wanna taste you this time."

"you're gonna get me hard again, fuck." heeseung shook his head at you, gently pushing his fingers between your slit, making your hips buck up at the sensation. his cum was on his two fingers as he brought them to your mouth.

you happily sucked them into your mouth, tasting his sweet cum as if it was the last thing you'd ever taste. "y/n." he moaned out as he watched you slurp every drop from his fingers. "i really am gonna need a blowjob from you." he admitted, feeling his cock twitch at the sight of you.

"next time." you smiled up at him, an innocent smile during something that is the complete opposite.

to say that you and heeseung felt guilty for hiding your relationship from sunghoon and your parents was an understatement- you were both practically ripping your hair out from the stress and anxiety of them finding out and sunghoon killing his best friend and your boyfriend.

you : what the fuck am i gonna do sunoo? i can't keep hiding it for much longer, they leave next week for uni.

sunoo ❤️ : you're gonna have to tell your brother, y/n! heeseung's his best friend! he trusts him! im sure he won't be that mad!! maybe, hopefully, haha

you : fuck, we're gonna have too. ugh!! im fucking scared.

sunoo❤️: you can do it!!!! i love you!!!!

"hey sunoo, get off you're phone and come play a game with us!" riki called out to his older friend, who distracted him from texting you about your problem.

"give me a second!" sunoo called back to him.

"who're you texting, sunoo?" jungwon teased him, his eyebrows raising up and down.

"as if you'd like to know." sunoo rolled his eyes at his younger friend who always seemed to be in everyone's business except for his own.

"sunoo! come on~!" riki whined, wanting so badly for someone to play ping pong with him.

"fine, i'm coming," sunoo huffed, standing up and tossing his phone on the couch. sunoo had thought that he was turned off his phone, but was too distracted by riki to really pay attention.

as jungwon still sat on the couch, he couldn't help but glance over at sunoo's opened messages, his eyes going wide by reading the latest ones with you.

"holy shit." jungwon whispered, throwing sunoo's phone back onto the couch before he came back.

as the final weekend of sunghoon living with you before he went to university came, it was almost tradition that he throws a party in honor of going away. your town's infamous party boy and his friends would be leaving to party somewhere else. what would your town do without them?

almost everyone in sunghoon's grade and your own was filling in your house. it was the biggest party that they've ever thrown in all four years of high school. even the '01 liners that graduated last year had come to see heeseung and send sunghoon off for university.

unlike last year's going away party, you were actually allowed to come to this once thanks to sunghoon's less strict protectiveness of you.

of course, heeseung and you couldn't be seen beside each other, but you were both planning on telling sunghoon the big news tomorrow. you both weren't sure of how he would react. hopefully, he'd be happy though since he and heeseung have already put a down payment on the apartment that they're going to be sharing for the year.

as midnight approached, a loud clinking sound captured everyone's attention and the loud music turned off.

"excuse me everyone!" a loud voice boomed, getting everyone to be quiet. there stood hwang intak on your coffee table in the living room. you haven't heard from intak since the beginning of the summer, you figured that he was just busy or that he found a new friendgroup to hang around with. he was holding a fork up to a beer bottle, "as i'm sure everyone is so sad to see the '02's leave this year, i have some happy news that i'm sure. everyone would love to hear!" intak started, everyone in your house nodded and made sounds of agreement, "i'm sure the one and only park sunghoon will love to hear this one especially,"

you stopped smiling at the mention of your brother's name, glancing at him and then heeseung from across the room. heeseung was looking uncertain as well.

"it has been brought to my attention, that park y/n is fucking her brother's best friend!" intak smiled, a gasp going through the room and your blood ran cold as you made eye contact with your very furious brother from across the room. "isn't that right, heeseung?" everyone in the room turned and looked at heeseung who was standing right beside sunghoon like he normally does. heeseung immediately put his hands up in defense as your brother pushed his chest against his, a betrayed look on his face. you couldn't hear what exactly was being said from all the whispering going around you, but it ended up with sunghoon pushing heeseung onto the chair behind him and then pushing everyone else out of the way to storm up to his room.

"okay! i think that's about it for tonight. everyone has a good school year and get the fuck out!" jay stood up on your coffee table now, pushing intak out of the way.

a pleased-looking intak came up to you right after.

"intak, why would you do that?" you asked him, tears welling up in your eyes from humiliation and fear of what's going to happen to you and heeseung and your brother.

"you know i've liked you since the day i met you park y/n. and what do you do? you turn me down, treat me like just a friend in front of everyone and then go and use me at some party- never to speak to me again?" intak explained to you, you shook your head no, trying to find some words to speak, "no! don't y/n. i thought it was weird when you were suddenly all up on me at the first party of the summer, and i knew you were acting weird all night! i saw you looking at heeseung too! i just never put two and two together until jungwon told me that you've been fucking him behind everyone's back!"

"intak! it's not like that! i'm sorry! what i did was wrong and i'm truly sorry! but you didn't have to go and do that! you just ruined my own relationship with my brother!" you cried out to him, your hands shaking at your sides.

"yeah? well maybe you should've thought about that before you went whoring around with your brother's best friend." intak spat in your face.

"would you shut the fuck up?" a voice came from behind him, making both of you jump. there stood an even more angry sunghoon as he listened to what intak had to say about you. "you are some little fucking pathetic rat. you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about do you? you just say whatever comes to mind and don't care about the coincidences, don't you?" sunghoon pushed intak up against the wall beside you.

"sunghoon!" you tried to reach out to him, only to have your hand pulled away from behind you, jake was holding you back. "no jake! let go of me." you struggled.

"bro, what? i'm trying to do you a favor? your best friend is the rat! he went behind your back and fucked your sister!" intak managed to get out through fear.

sunghoon faked a laugh, "if you talk about my sister fucking someone one more time, i'm going to rip your balls off personally." sunghoon threatened the younger boy.

"there it is." jay pointed out from beside you.

"yep." jake quickly agreed, glancing at him briefly before returning back to sunghoon and itak.

"bro i'm sorry." intak started but was cut off.

"don't call me bro, okay bro?" sunghoon mocked intak, pulling the collar of his shirt up as he stared right into his eyes, "if you talk about my sister, or any of my friends again, i will make sure to come back to town and hurt you, really bad. got it?"

"yes, i got it. i'm sorry." intak shook his head quickly, wanting to get away from your brother as soon as he could. sunghoon backed away from the wall, letting intak run out of your house, slamming the door after him. jake let you go once it seemed like sunghoon wasn't in fighting mode anymore.

"sunghoon." you cried out softly.

"don't y/n." he replied, sitting down on the living chair with his head in his hands.

"sunghoonie, i'm sorry." heeseung stated, still standing on the other side of the living room from you all.

you heard sunghoon sigh as he listened to his best friend, "i mean like, for how long has it been happening?" sunghoon looked up at you two, his head turning from the left to the right.

"not long." heeseung said quickly.

"we were planning on telling you, we swear!" you added on, "we were waiting for a good time!"

"did you guys know?" sunghoon glanced at jake and jay behind you.

"nope!" jake said quickly.

"no idea, man!" jay agreed.

"sunghoonie," heeseung took a step closer to his best friend, "they had no idea, it was just me and y/n." sunghoon nodded, sitting back in the chair, trying to take it all in. "i love her, hoon. i mean it." sunghoon looked up at his best friend in shock. jay and jake gasped from behind you. jake nudged you, a look of shock on his face, making you shrug in response.

"do you love him?" sunghoon asked you suddenly.

"yes, a lot." you smiled at heeseung softly, love only fills your mind when you think of him.

sunghoon scoffs, "i mean, how blind am i? my own best friend and my sister fall in love and i don't even notice?"

"we're sorry sunghoon, we didn't want to make you upset. but i've loved her for a long time now, i've just always tried to push the feeling away because i care so much about you, you're my best friend sunghoon, i don't want to lose you. i can't stand to lose you and her." heeseung confessed, holding onto sunghoon's shoulder now.

sunghoon sighed before glancing up at you, "and you're happy?"

"so happy, hoon." you nodded, your hands coming together to show how happy you are.

"Okay." sunghoon nodded.

"okay?" you all said in unison out of confusion.

"yes okay, it's something i can get used to if you're both happy. and it's not something i can stop if you both love each other, right?" sunghoon said, a small smile on his face when he spoke now.

"oh my god! thank you sunghoon! thank you!" you cried out, jumping up and down before running to heeseung who hugged you so tight. squeals left your mouth as the dreading feeling in your stomach finally surpassed after weeks of it being there. heeseung pulled you into a kiss, showing how happy he was as well.

"okay!" sunghoon yelled, "it's gonna take some time to get used to that." sunghoon said, looking away from you guys, "but i'm sure i'll be okay."

"i love you sunghoon, so much! really!" you pulled away from heeseung and pulled your brother up from his chair, pulling him into his own hug.

"i love you too, y./n, you're always gonna be my little sister, right?" he teased, pushing your hair around.

"of course!" you smiled and pulled away from him.

"you're always gonna be my best friend, right?" heeseung spoke from behind you, a soft smile of hopefulness on his face.

"c'mon man, of course, i will be!" sunghoon smiled, opening his arms for heeseung to hug him as well.

"awww!" jay and jake gushed from behind you all, rushing and hugging their friends into one big group hug.

when they all pulled apart, it felt like everything was right between everyone. every friendship and relationship in the room seemed healed over with love.

"bro, i can't believe you're dating park sunghoon's little sister." jake said to heeseung, shock still settling in.

"shut it, jake!" you all said in unison again, laughing before hugging everyone again.

"you guys are so mean!" jake cried out, still hugging you guys tightly as if it would be the last time.

heeseung winked at you from over sunghoon's shoulder, making you smile up at him, unafraid of what everyone would think now knowing that you and heeseung are in love.

"what do you think your parents are gonna say?" heeseung asked you all.

"god heeseung, you know that they love you." sunghoon rolled his eyes at his best friend, making you and heeseung smile at each other, knowing that finally you could be together after all.

it's truly all that you ever wanted, and now you have it.

you couldn't be happier with your older brother's best friend.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

20 DAYS BEFORE HEAVEN — l. hs

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* — news reached your school that a boy in your class has passed away and the last thing expected was for the the reaper to show up inside your room and make a bargain with you. He gives you the chance to go back 20 days to save a boy you barely knew under one condition. the question is, would you do it despite the danger?

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* genre(s) — highschool au, strangers to lovers, romance, angst, supernatural

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* warning(s) — profanity, suicide, internalising disorders, bullying, sexual assault, victim blaming

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* wc. : 15k+

— dont forget to reblog, like, and comment about what you thought abt the fic!! lastly, thank u so so much to our dearest best girl, sei who made this banner for me !! you will forever be remembered ♡ teaser

OCTOBER 15  ༉༊

Ever since you were a mere infant, you loved the rain. Being brought into the world in the rainy month of June, all your birthdays were greeted by a storm. When you were eight years old, you and your parents decided to go to the theme park for your birthday. However, your plans for outside fun were soon soiled when the rain started pouring the second you'd entered the premises. 

Instead of being dejected, you were ecstatic. With a wide smile coated across your porcelain childlike face, you ran into the pouring rain with open arms, not giving a single fuck about your hair, clothes, or shoes getting wet nor soggy. In the background, you could hear your parents yelling at you to go back and take shelter, but you tuned them out, in love with the feeling of rain dropping against your skin. 

The next day, you woke up with a boiling hot fever. Snot was dripping from your nose, reaching your lips. Being the curiosity filled child that you were, your tongue darted up to taste it, pleased to say that you weren't disgusted by the taste but never willing to admit doing the action in front of anyone. Along that was a pounding headache and a series of sneezes but you didn't regret your actions, not one bit.

Years have gone by and sure, people change. You can say that you have for sure. You've grown taller and quieter. Though, you're still you. The same girl who loved to become one with the rain.

It rarely rained on the city of Seoul but either way, whenever it would, you'd be overjoyed. They say that if the sunny day is excitement, then a cloudy day is a well-earned chance to rest your eyes and cleanse your soul. It's a chance to daydream and breathe in a calm, reflective mood. Those very words expressed how you viewed the much-hated weather.

But today, the sky seemed as if it was sobbing— an overcast day if you would. The clouds were darker, more terrifying compared to the bright and shining ones you would see every other day in the city whenever the year would soon end.  

The rain pooled on the ground, creating muddy puddles as you walked towards your school building. A striking yellow umbrella in one hand, protecting you from the droplets of rain while the other hand grips your jacket tighter, trying to obtain more warmth.

Stepping inside the building, you shake your umbrella, trying to get rid of the water that clung to it. The water detaches itself from your umbrella, lightly sprinkling everywhere. After, you put it somewhere inside of your locker where you were sure none of your papers would get soaked.

For some odd reason, as you walk down the hallway towards your classroom, you can't help the heavy feeling that's weighing on your chest. You wonder, was there a possibility you missed something? Did you have homework that you forgot to bring? Was there supposed to be a quiz today and you didn't study? No, none of those could've been it. Being the honor student that you were meant you had to be ahead of every lecture, assignment, project, and anything that correlated to your academics and you did just that. You always carry with you a planner that holds all your schedules and work deadlines so that you could rest assured that you never missed anything.

Loud chatter fills your ears as you step inside your classroom. Some of your classmates sat atop of their desks while the others stood up as they huddled up with one another, gossiping, you assumed. You lay your belongings on top of your table, taking a seat beside the window so you could look out and watch as multiple students ran to enter the school gates, practically drenched by the rain with only their bags to shelter them from the pouring rain. A few more minutes pass and you finally hear the school bell ring, signaling that classes were starting.

Your classmates hurry to resume their places back into their own seats, not wanting to be caught out of place by your advisor and have an earful early in the rainy morning. The chattering and the noises stop when your homeroom advisor enters the room with a somber look. She takes her eyeglasses off with a sigh, resting her palms on either side of her desk upfront. 

She's tense, you could easily tell. It makes you wonder what had happened for her to act like that as you fix your gaze onto her completely. You're used to your advisor's usually bright and bubbly expression whenever she comes skipping inside the room so for her to turn like this means that something awful must've happened for her aura to stray so far from her usually energetic personality.

"Alright, guys. Can I have your attention please?" Your adviser calls out. All eyes fixate themselves on her figure, giving her the attention she wants as they wait for her to continue. "I have some very sad news that I need to share with all of you. Your classmate, Lee Heeseung," She sighs out as if merely speaking the boy's name is hard for her. "He... He won't be with us anymore."

A moment passes in silence before one of your classmates stands to speak up. "Huh?" He wonders. "Did Heeseung transfer?" He asks, voicing out your own thoughts.

"No," She answers, shaking her head "l hope that was the case." She whispers.

This time, a boy with strikingly white hair and pale skin raises his hands before standing up. This time you were familiar with him. His name, based on your recollection, is Park Sunghoon. Like your other classmates, you've never interacted with the boy. Thus meaning that you knew little to nothing about him. The only thing you could remember about him was his face and that he belonged to the same popular friend group as the boy in question, Lee Heeseung. "Then where is he? He didn't even bother telling us where he went and hyung never does that." He says.

"H-He... Uhm," Your adviser stutters before tightly closing her eyes, gripping the edges of her table even tighter to the point where her knuckles turned white and her nails dug into the wood. You can tell she's holding her tears back as much as she can. As to why, you're still not sure and you stay seated there, waiting to find out.

With a deep exhale, she finally continues. "Lee Heeseung won't be joining us anymore. Last night, the police found his dead body inside his apartment and that they've suspected that... that," Her voice breaks when she continues, saying, "He had overdosed on sleeping pills the night prior." 

Time seemed to have passed and yet, no one dared to move in their seat when those words left your advisor's mouth. Your classmates looked shocked, faces showing disbelief at the news she had just dumped on them.

"W-what?" You hear one of your classmates ask. You remember his name being Jake.

Sim Jaeyun. Member of the soccer club and Lee Heeseungs closest friend.

You had seen the two boys bond with each other all around campus. Lee Heeseung and Sim Jaeyun were in the same class as you as well as some of their other friends but you've observed that the two were the closest to each other despite the latter being a year younger. Although Lee Heeseung was older, they had managed to form an incredible friendship that you envied, so truly envied. 

You're no outcast per se, you just detested the company of people and prefered to be alone, wanting to focus on getting out of this hell hole than creating connections. However, even loners yearn for some company from time to time. You've just never bothered to scout for the right people that matched well with your personality.

Resuming, the poor boy is frozen in his seat, looking as if he was about to break down. Your eyes are trained on the way he clenches his fist into a ball with overwhelming amounts of force. It wouldn't be a shock to you if you see his hand bleed due to his nails digging into it.

"I'm sorry, Jaeyun." She apologises, her expression sad as she looks at the boy. "I wish it was a lie too but it's true, he's dead."

"Th-That can't be! We were just talking about what we were going to do for his bi—" All of a sudden, he stops talking. His eyes turn wide as if something had just dawned on him and his hand comes to cover his mouth in shock. You can see the boy's whole body start to tremble and you knew he going to break down into tears any minute now. Sim Jaeyuns chair screeches back as he runs out the room and your teacher does nothing to stop him, understanding that he was Lee Heeseungs closest friend and that this whole news is even more haunting for him.

You watch as all your classmates bow their heads down, a heavy feeling looming around the room as everyone mourns Lee Heeseungs death. Some even start crying in their seats; one of them being Jay, otherwise known as Park Jongseong, another one of Lee Heeseungs friends.

"Heeseungs family will be having his funeral tomorrow and... I hope you all can come." Your teacher says. "We won't be having any lessons for the entirety of this day and you can all go home early. We just want to give you all some time to mourn such a bright student's unfortunate death. Class dismissed."

Now, you've found the reason why the air was so gloomy and why the rain didn't seem to stop no matter how long it's been pouring. It was because the sky was crying, mourning the death of Lee Heeseung.

"Y/N? God, I just heard the news."

As soon as you step inside your home, your mom is there to envelop you in a warm hug. She places your head on her shoulder as she caresses the back of your hair— something your mother has always done when consoling you.

"I wasn't even that close with the guy." You say, words coming out automated as you assumed she was talking about the suicide announcement that your advisor had made not even an hour ago. "How did you find out anyway?"

"Mrs. Lee told me." She says, frowning afterwards. "Don't tell me you didn't know the Lees are our neighbors?"

Your expression is a dead giveaway that this is new news to you. You're never one to dwell on your mother's business since you had no interest in gossiping nor did you have time to with all the studying you were doing. However, it does come out as a surprise to you that Lee Heeseung lived close to you and yet, the two of you never seemed to have bumped into each other.

"Gosh, YN. You really should stop and listen in sometimes. I know I'm your mother and I'm supposed to be happy that my child is a genius but I don't want you to waste your youth." Again, she's frowning at you.

What's so bad about wanting to focus on school? It's not like being stupid will make a difference.

"It's fine mom. I'm okay." You assure.

"Nonsense. I'll tell you what, I'll go into the kitchen and make you some soup. You can go and take that upstairs. You're looking too thin these days." Once again, her motherly nature surfaces.

"Sure, Mom. That'd be nice." She smiles at you, feeling satisfied with your answer and afterwards scurrying into the kitchen to bring you some food to eat.

You lay down on your bed, staring at the blank ceiling of your bedroom. The chicken noodle soup your mom had made for you sat cold and untouched on top of your desk, making no move to eat it.

Lee Heeseung isn't a close friend of yours nor was he an acquaintance. He was just simply a boy in your class that seemed to have his life put together. From what you knew, the boy had excellent grades, powerful friendships, and skills that exceeded everybody's expectations.

He was a boy with a smile that could rival the suns. 

You remember catching sight of him while he was talking with one of his friends. The other must've said something extremely funny because that day, you were graced to see the way Lee Heeseungs eyes crinkled in happiness, his nose scrunching in glee, and his teeth on full display as he laughed; his head thrown back and his protruding adam's apple bobbing every time he gulped while doubling over with laughter.

"That's all I knew of him." You lie. 

But why was his death affecting your mood this much? Maybe because he was such a nice and talented boy that you saw it as a great shame he had to go so early.

Eventually, your mind wandered around why he did what he did. Granted, you knew nothing about the boy's personal life but you could only imagine how hard it was for him to push himself into committing such a horrific act.

He took his life. 

Was it because behind that bright and perfect smile was a boy bearing a shattered soul? What drove him to do something like this?

You're a quiet person and you usually stay in your own company. You don't like big crowds and you loved it whenever it rained because it made you feel at peace whenever you listened to the way it pitter-pattered, drenching everything and anything blocking its way, but today, you just wished it stopped. 

The rain reminds you too much of Lee Heeseung, the boy who took his life and the rain is making you feel restless.

You hope wherever he is right now, that he's finally at peace with himself. You hope that he's happy and that he can rest. Again, you never bothered to get close with anyone, meaning you never knew Lee Heeseung personally but you wish, for once, that you could have done something, anything, to change his mind.

OCTOBER 16 ༉༊

As you open your eyes to greet a new daydream, you immediately frown. The skies are so dark and bitter that you don't even notice that it's now morning. There's no sign of the bright warm sun on top of a blue horizon nor are there any white fluffy clouds covering the sky. 

A storm is brewing and it's evident it'll hit your area soon. 

Tempestuous, bleak, and angry. 

The heavens are angry. 

It's the next day but you didn't get a wink of sleep. You supposed it was because of the never-ending thoughts that flowed inside your head. 

It may have been two days since Lee Heeseung died, assuming that he killed himself at the strike of twelve on his birthday. You still can't wrap your head around it nor can you stop wondering why it's affecting you so much. 

Still, you begrudgingly get up from your bed. You look around and everything is the same spot it used to be and nothing has changed. Your books are still in the same place on top of the shelves, your cabinet is still open like how you left it, heck, even the wall clock that's been there for five years is standing strong. So why is it that you feel so lost? 

Fuck Lee Heeseung. 

"Can you stop occupying every single space in my brain for at least five minutes?" 

The boy is dead yet he's bothering you even more than when he was alive.

You groan once you hear your bitter thoughts. Immediately, you realize how cruel you were being and you mutter a silent apology to the boy in heaven before falling back onto your bed. 

A soft knock on your door catches your attention as your mom's head peeks through the space. "Darling, Are you awake?" 

You sigh. "Yeah. I'm up, Mom." You reply dryly, feeling the symptoms of a headache brewing inside your head.

"Great. Get ready, we're going to Heeseungs in a few minutes."

Lee Heeseungs funeral was a poor sight to witness. 

Everybody at the funeral was either crying, yelling out for the dead boy to come back, or had a sad look on their face. Bouquets of pretty and colourful flowers decorated the place and you wished you got the time to bring one for him too. There's also a huge chandelier hung in the middle of the room and rows of chairs adorned the place. At the front is a huge picture of the boy, smiling brightly like how you've mentioned before; lively and perfect. If only the casket holding his dead body wasn't there, then you might have smiled too.

The room was packed with Lee Heeseungs friends, relatives, and classmates. You even spot some of your teachers in the room as they pay their respects and you're not at all shocked when you see the school principal there either.

Your school principal is a fake, to say the least. You've watched him work and you've seen the way his face falls and scrunches in disgust when a person's back is turned to him. When he doesn't get his way, he manipulates people like the bastard he is just so he can get what he wants. You scowl as you watch him look into Lee Heeseungs casket, fake tears rolling down his cheek, continuing his act to seem like he cared for his students. You choose to ignore his presence for the time being because this night isn't about him, it's about Lee Heeseung and you intend to keep it that way.

A couple dressed in white stood at the front, right beside Lee Heeseungs coffin, catching your attention. 

Trailing behind your mother, you follow as she walks towards the said couple, greeting them with a sad smile, proving the hunch you had that these people were Lee Heeseungs family. 

"Hello, you must be YN. " The woman says, smiling fondly at you as she reaches for your hands, holding them inside hers and although her hands were cold due to the air-conditioned room, you let her. "Heeseung told us so much about you." 

At her statement, you're only able to reply with a confused smile. This confuses you because as you recall, you've never had any sort of interaction with Lee Heeseung that'll leave him wanting to tell his parents about you. You weren't close friends, nor were you ex-friends. So why does it seem like his mother already knows a lot about you? 

"Mom!" 

Suddenly, a boy who looked a few years older than you yelled from a few meters away, effectively catching your attention. He takes a quick jog towards you and scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Hi, I'm Lee Heewon. Heeseungs older brother." He introduces, stretching his hand towards you. 

"It's nice to meet you" You smile politely, grabbing his hand before releasing it. "I'm YN." 

Lee Heeseungs older brother nodded, however, it seemed as if he already knew that. 

He reaches to wrap his hand around his mother's waist, whispering something to her. She replies with a confused look, scrunching her brows together and eyes squinting in confusion, yet she replies with a nod either way. Lee Heeseungs brother pulls away, looking at you and then asking if you would follow him. 

Although confused, you agree. "Mom I'll be right back, okay?" You tell your mother who is now sitting on one of the chairs, talking with Lee Heeseungs parents. She simply smiles at you and agrees, letting you off on your own with the boy before turning back to their conversation.

Looking back at the male, you nod as he gestures for you to follow him towards the corner of the room, where not that many people were around so the two of you could have a conversation in private. 

"Hi, so uh. Listen." He starts, eyes unable to look at yours as they shift everywhere, feeling awkward. "Heeseung-ie... he told us a lot about you because— uh, y'know what, I— I don't think it's my place to tell you this." 

"Huh?" You reply, stunned.

"Sorry, forget it." He dismisses. "It's just... he said he was going to do it." He finally heaves out. 

By the way his hands started getting clammy and shaky, you could tell the boy was nervous to tell you something. "I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're trying to say." 

He releases a hefty breath befor continuing, "Heeseung, he likes you, or at least he did." He whimpers at that, hands coming up to comb his unruly hair. "He would talk to us a lot about you and we always teased him about it because... he just couldn't confess to you." He finishes with a sad laugh. "B-but now, he's g-gone and..." His voice trails off and his face wears a sad smile as he remembers the moments he spent with his dear brother. 

Upon hearing those words, you stood rooted to your spot, unable to form a coherent sentence to respond to him. Like you've said before, you and Lee Heeseung were never close so when you found out that he had that big of a crush on you, so big that he couldn't help but tell his family, you were speechless, to say the least. "He... likes me?" 

The older male chuckles, incredulous. "You didn't know?"

You shake your head in response, "We weren't really close." 

"Damn, if Heeseung-ie heard you say that right now, he probably would've cried himself to sleep. The guy basically only had eyes for you." He comments, shaking his head as he laughs at the possibility.

Lee Heeseung likes me.

A sudden memory from about twenty days ago flashes in your mind and you're reminded of the time when you found a cute letter that was slid inside your locker on one warm afternoon.

'Hi, Y/N! If you're free, can you please meet me on the rooftop after classes end? 

- your secret admirer ♡' 

The short yet adorable note made your heart flutter and your chest bubble up in excitement as you read it. No one had ever bothered to confess to you, much less become your secret admirer. With you being so focused on your studies, you never made it a task to make yourself look good to please yourself and even more for other people. Of course you never want anyone to see you at your worst but at the end of the day, you don't really care as long as you don't look at yourself in the mirror.

After reading the letter multiple times, you finally concluded that you'd spent enough time fangirling and so, you eagerly folded the note and put it in a safe place inside your locker afterwards.

You were a loner, had no friends, and were basically isolated from everyone. You did feel sad about the fact you couldn't go to someone and gush about the letter to them— with no friends or siblings to approach, to whom were you supposed to go? But as you stood there alone on top of the rooftop with the sweet letter at hand, you were glad you didn't have anyone as you were greeted by no one other than the faltering light of the sunset.

No sign of anyone and certainly no signs of your secret admirer. 

So it was him. 

Lee Heeseung, you fucking coward. 

'Why did he not show up? Was he too embarrassed? What on earth did I even do to make him like me? Well, if he bailed on me just like that then he mustn't have liked me as much as his brother says he does.'

So many questions flew around your head that you didn't even notice that long gone was Lee Heewon, older brother of Lee Heeseung and instead, your mother stood in his place. The tapping on your shoulder is what brings you back to your consciousness, your eyes turning to look at your mother as she continues to look at you in wonder.

"Sorry, just spaced out." You apologise, blinking.

The evening goes on smoothly— as smooth as you'd expect a funeral to be. You saw his friends there; Sim Jaeyun, Park Jongseong, Park Sunghoon, and a few other juniors that you've seen around campus. Although you had so many questions in mind— so many questions to ask him, you brushed them off and prayed for his well-being up there with God instead, hoping that he was no longer suffering. 

His father, along with many others, gave tribute to the boy in the form of a long and heartfelt speech. With suicide grief, they’re dealing with trauma on top of the loss. With most people who die by suicide, it’s usually violent or tragic in some way— like what happened to Lee Heeseung. So, the person grieving has to deal with the fact that a person chose to take their life and that is how they died. That changes the grief process entirely.

Death can be tragic, like a murder or a car vehicle accident. But the stigma around suicide still exists today, and so family members have to contend with that piece as well. It makes their grief different.

"... I'm sure to everyone here, you all know that Heeseung was a kind and caring son. He was also a hardworking and honest student. A fun and talented friend." He continues. Your eyes danced across the room and situated themselves on his friends that were sitting in front. All of them were crying, gripping each other closer as they hugged one another, afraid that if their grip loosened, one of them might leave the others behind— just like their fallen sibling has. "And I'm sure he was a wonderful stranger to many of you as well."

"We'll never accept his death, for our Heeseung was one of a kind. Our family will continue to carry the sadness of losing him as grief is not something we ever get over, and it doesn’t ever stop. What we'll learn to do is grow around our grief, to encompass it and incorporate it or manage it into our own life,” He says. “We walk with it.”

“Every time you turn around— there’s a reminder of him, there’s a statement, there’s a feeling, there’s an emotion— and we ask you to not look past it,” His father says. “As we walk with this grief of losing him, we also hope that you don't forget him. Even though he isn't here anymore— physically, our family hopes that you'll still carry your memories of him inside your heart. Where he'll be forever until we see him again."

It's already nine in the evening when you get home. Feeling exhausted, you step inside the darkness of your room with a sigh, carelessly tossing your bag onto your desk as you plop down on your bed, staring at the ceiling— something you've been doing so much as of recently.

"Lee Heeseung..." You say to no one in particular. "You're such a loser" 

"Ouch," a voice suddenly says. Your eyes unnaturally widen in shock as you sit up from the position you previously laid in because as far as you knew, there's no one in your room besides you. Looking at the knob on your door, you see that it's locked, making it even more impossible for someone to come inside without you noticing. "That was a little harsh, dont you think?"

But finally, there, in the corner of your room, you watch as the figure of a boy suddenly appears out of thin air. He stood there with a smirk playing across his red lips. He has stunningly dark hair, a pointed nose, and cheeks that look lively and soft. You would assume he was just some normal boy who slipped into your bedroom but the intimidating dark aura that coats his figure, spreading throughout the space of your room says otherwise. 

A sense of fear envelops you as you stand up, stance as if ready to fight. "Wh-who are you!?" 

"Ah, that's a complicated question, y'know. I go by many names." He says. "Some call me the Grim Reaper, some call me Death but I prefer the name Sunoo the most so make sure to call me by that!" 

What 

the 

actual 

fuck 

?! 

Sunwoo— or whatever his name is, smiles deviously at you. His eyes crinkle in amusement as he watches you with your mouth agape, struggling to wrap your head around the fact that an otherworldly being might actually be in your room wearing a plaid shirt and Nike sweatpants. 

"Th-this can't be happening. This is all just a dream." You say, smiling freakishly as you move to pinch your arm, hoping to wake up from whatever nightmare this is, but all you do is yelp at the pain you've caused yourself. Feeling the pain you inflicted, your eyes take frantic turns looking at your reddened arm and the magical being sighing defeatedly at you.

"Listen," He calls out for your attention. Hearing the authority in his voice makes you tense up, stopping all your actions in the process. Your ears are tingling for some unknown reason but you can only guess that it's because of the overwhelming amount of panic being struck in your veins. "I'm here because I need a favour from you—" 

Before he could continue with what he was saying, you cut him off "No! No, you can not have my soul!" You scream out, hugging your body tightly around your shaking arms.

His eyes widen, index finger coming up to his lips to shush you "Stop. I'm not here for your soul—" 

"Good because I'm not giving it to you anyways." You humph. You're still scared of the boy as his powers and true intentions are still unknown to you. However, hearing that he isn't here to take your soul just yet is already enough for you to relax and gain some sort of fake confidence. 

"Will you stop cutting me off for a goddamn minute!" He shouts in a whispering manner. "I'm starting to regret coming to you for help." 

Your eyes squint. "What did you just say?" 

"Okay," He says before releasing a breath. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to come back?" He asks you slowly, watching your every move as if he expected you to scream out for your mother if he's not careful. 

Thankfully— or not, you don't. All you do is stand there, unmoving. In a swift move, Sunoo pushed himself off the wall he was leaning up against and made a cautious step towards you. 

"Do I want to... what?" 

Sunoo sighs in relief, thanking his familiars that your body hasn't frozen due to shock and that he doesn't have to collect another young body again. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to live again?" 

"H-How is that even possible to begin with?" 

"I can make it happen. I can send you back twenty days from now to when he was still alive and you can change his future." He explains. "Only if you are willing to." 

"Why me? Why not his friends? I'm sure they'd be willing to help. " 

The Grim Reaper shrugs, "I simply don't believe they can change the outcome and besides, I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't think you could do it." He explains, smiling softly at you.

You stay in place, taking a moment to catch up with your thoughts as well as the events that are currently taking place. The reaper, who took the form of an incredibly charming looking boy, is inside your room asking if you would be willing to go back exactly twenty days so you could— 

Wait, what? 

"Twenty days? Why twenty days? There must be some sort of reason." 

"Because it took Lee Heeseung exactly twenty days to decide whether or not he was going to kill himself or not." Hearing that, you nod.

"And what will happen if I fail?" You ask, looking him in the eye. Afraid of what the answer might be, you caress your earlobe; a habit you had developed over the years when you would get nervous. "There must be some sort of consequence for tampering with time like this."

"I'm afraid there is, yes." The Reaper answers, head bowing in defeat. "Apollyon. If he finds out that I've messed with the cycle, he's going to try and do everything he can to stop you. He might hurt you or Heeseung I’m not sure. Although he can't kill you, there’s a possibility he might hurt you if you defy him." He exhales. 

"But don't worry too much about it." He composes himself and continues, "I'll try and do everything I can to stop him. If you succeed, then Lee Heeseung will come back and he'll be alive." 

This creature in front of you, this conversation, it all feels surreal. Naturally, your mind jumbles through all the possible horrendous outcomes of this bizarre situation. Someone could get fatally injured— not just you but the innocent could too. Is the life of someone you barely knew really worth all the pain you might cause someone else? Is it worth it to play this dangerous game of tag with Apollyon?

Lee Heeseung is someone you barely had no connections to. Besides the fact that you share a few classes together and have interacted even fewer, you knew nothing of the boy. The only feeling you have of him is a slight distaste but even that seems like a lie.

If only you didn't know that he was such a good person. If only you didn't know that he was a volunteer tutor at the daycare. If only you didn't see how many people loved and cried for him when they heard the news. If only you didn't know that he committed suicide on the same day as his birthday. If only you didn't see the way his bullies punched him.

Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't know any of these, you would've declined. But you couldn't.

Why is it that even despite hearing the danger you'll face, you're still yearning to agree? 

If you had the chance to save someone's life, wouldn't you debate on saying yes as well?

There's a risk of you getting harmed but you throw that away because there's only one thing that occupies your head. 

"Don't worry too much, once you've completed your task and I'm assured of Heeseungs future, I'll take you back to the present." His smile somewhat brought a tinge of comfort in you, finding a small bit of relief at the small gesture which only further jumbled your mind.

"I... fuck— Okay."

Lee Heeseung can come out of this whole mess alive. It's damn worth a try, isn't it? There's a possibility that everyone will be able to see that endearing smile again. You can save him from his unfortunate future. And lastly, you can give his grieving family their son back. 

So, with feigned bravery, you nodded before breathing out heavily, eyes locking with Sunoo's. "Let's do it."

Upon hearing your agreement, he expresses his happiness with your decision with an excited giggle. You're left once again to debate whether he was actually supposed to be what people called 'Death' as he claps his hands, finding him inconveniently cute. "Yes!" He cheers. "Tomorrow, when you wake up, it will be September twenty-five— exactly twenty days from now. Everything that happened before will be the same, except for the things you will change, of course. Remember YN, you only have one shot at this. I'll be with you along the way so don't hesitate to call me if you feel like you're being watched or just simply need help. I'm rooting for you."  

Change Lee Heeseungs fate. Sounds easy enough.

The Reaper— I mean, Sunoo grabs your shoulders and you still as he pushes you gently so you could sit on the edge of your bed. You give him a weird look but say nothing in return, getting the signal that he probably wanted you to go to sleep now. 

"Good luck, Y/N." You hear him whisper before your eyes close, suddenly feeling incredibly heavy as you fall into an effortless slumber. Being an insomniac meant that you didn't spend a lot of time sleeping at night. But as the moon shone, joined by the soft sound brought by the pitter-patter of the rain, you fell into one of the most comfortable slumbers you've had in a long long time. 

"Y/N! Darling you're going to be late for school!" 

The piercing sound of your mother's voice mixed with the relentless knocking on your door makes you jolt awake. Indeed, as you turn to look at the huge clock in your room, you're late. 

You bolt up, making a beeline towards your dresser, grabbing your uniform and hurriedly putting it on, not caring to bathe or comb your unruly hair. However, when you catch sight of your calendar, you stop, limbs frozen in place as your eyes focus on the piece of paper. 

September 25... 

'Fuck, so that wasn't some weird dream after all.' You physically slap yourself for forgetting such crucial information, your forehead stinging because of your actions— though, you don't have the time to look if a red mark shaped like your hand is imprinted on it or not, before shrugging it off and focusing on continuing to put your clothes on. If you don't get to school today then you'll miss an important chance to find out something about the boy— and no one wants that.

After saying goodbye to your mother, you step outside, the rays of sunlight hitting you. The warmth of it makes you feel cozy in contrast to the feeling of the heavy rain you've been experiencing since a day ago— or should you say in the future? You have no idea.

"This time travel shit is messing with my head."

"Just stop thinking about it and it'll be easier." A voice says, popping out of nowhere, making you jump.

"Will you stop doing that!?" You scream out, feeling lucky that no one is in the vicinity to witness your outburst. "Seriously, you're going to give me a heart attack before I even get to Lee Heeseung."

"By the way, why do you call Heeseung 'Lee Heeseung'?" Sunoo asks. "Sounds a bit too formal for a classmate don't you think?"

"That's because we aren't close." You reply monotonously as you fish for your planner inside your bag, sighing gratefully once you've found it.

All you get is a hum from the boy before he disappears and you let out a satisfied hum of your own, happy that he's left you alone to do your own bidding.

As you step inside the establishment of your school, you go straight to the destination of your locker. After entering the right combination, it prompts open with a click and there, you see it. Your heart flutters the same way once again as you see the familiar note but this time, it makes you smile sadly, knowing what'll happen to the sweet boy who gave it to you— not to mention how he stood you up that evening either, or this evening? You still have no idea why your secret admirer, who you now knew was actually Lee Heeseung, ditched you when he was supposed to confess but you're sure as hell that you're going to find out why. 

Instead of putting the letter back in your locker as you did before, you grasp it in your hands, making the sudden call to look for the boy who gave it to you, wanting to see that he was alive and well. 

However, as your eyes scan over the halls, you find no traces of Lee Heeseung. A sudden feeling of nervousness consumes your chest as you look around for him but fail to spot a single trace of him or his friends. Before you get a chance to search the school grounds for him, however, the school bell rings, signaling that classes are going to start soon. Begrudgingly, you make your way inside the classroom you've been in several times before. 

The looming feeling of nervousness drops, your breathing fastening when you finally catch sight of him. 

Lee Heeseung is there, sitting on top of his desk, his nose wrinkling the same way his eyes are. His smile is bright and it showed his perfect teeth as he laughed at whatever conversation he and his friends were having. 

You don't care about the conversation, you care about him being there, looking so real that you almost ask yourself if you were dreaming until you remember what you're here for and why you've gone twenty days back into the past.

After finding out from his family that he likes you, all of the longing gazes and the shy smiles he sends you whenever the both of you make the smallest and shortest eye contact are now so crucially visible to you it hurts that you were so dense before not to notice. 

As you make your way towards your usual seat beside the window, you almost miss the way his eyes trained on you and the letter you held inside your hands. 

Lee Heeseung, why is my heart hurting? 

From the corner of your eye, you can see the way he bites his lip nervously as you open the letter he sent you. 

Like before, nothing has changed in the letter; it's the same words, the same question, the same handwriting, and the same stupid little heart that he put at the end of the note. You smile adoringly at the letter, folding it neatly before tucking it inside your bag as if it's a treasure.

From across the room, Heeseung suppresses his grin when he catches you reading the letter he slid inside your locker. His heart bubbles up in happiness to see that you didn't gag at the sight of it, knowing that you weren't the romantic type and basically never showed any kind of interest towards male suitors. Even though you barely ever throw a glance his way, his heart seemed to have a mind of its own when it fell for you. He admired your effortless beauty and the way you were so driven to always come out on top.

The first time he saw you was years ago when you had just moved into his neighborhood. He remembers looking out of the window, annoyed at all of the noise the truck hauling your furniture was making. His scowl immediately left his face however when he caught sight of you trying to pick up a box that looked like it was twice your weight. From his window, he watched as your small, flimsy body struggled to carry just one box inside.

He could have offered some help but the thought flew way past little Heeseungs mind as he was too shy to approach you at that time. Years have passed and it seems as if nothing has changed over the years. Sure he's grown taller, and gained more confidence— he could even say he was more attractive than most. But whenever it came to you, all his ego seemed to fly out the window and he would go back to the same shy boy he used to be.

However, nearing the age of nineteen he's grown tired of it all. That's why he slid that letter inside your locker, opting to make a big change. Its purpose is to finally express to you his undying feeling of admiration. And he's determined to pull through with it.

After minutes of hearing the same lecture, the school bell eventually rings, signaling that classes are finished and that you can all go and take your breaks. Yes, this meant lunch for your growling stomach. However, this is also the time Lee Heeseung is supposed to confess to you on the rooftop but will eventually fail to do so and you ought to find out why he stood you up. So, you hurriedly gather all your things, trying to catch up to the boy so you could follow closely behind him.

Making sure none of your stuff got left behind, you dash towards the door, eager to follow the said boy when a sudden voice calls out to you. "YN, Can I talk to you for a second?"

Fuck. You forgot today is the same day your teacher asks you to stay behind in class. It's so he could talk to you about the details regarding the literary contest in Busan that the school is going to compete in in three days. As the top student in your year, you're good at many things that involve using your wit, intelligence, and logic— physical labor isn't your strongest asset, thus, you're always the top option whenever it comes to district competitions.

The conversation doesn't go the same as before— the result of your intention to leave immediately. However, it doesn't end as quickly as you'd like it to. Your English teacher is known to be a chatterbox throughout the students of your year as he's known to beat around the bush, prolong the conversation, and dwell on non-school related topics— all of which you don't appreciate at the moment, but either way, much to your distaste, the conversation goes longer than you want it too. 

If this continues, you might not be able to catch Lee Heeseung at all and he'd think that you stood him up.

"Right. Great. I understand. I'll make sure to send you an email if I have any questions just like you said. Bye!" You say all in one breath, giving the man a thumbs up before sprinting out of the room, giving him no space or time to open his goddamn mouth which smelled like outdated anchovies by the way.

Frantically, you search every hallway in your building, desperate to find Lee Heeseung before it's too late. As you near the corner leading towards an exit, you hear a loud slam— as if something or someone was thrown against the lockers, followed by a thump as it hits the ground. 

Peaking at the edge of the corner, careful not to be seen, you see three boys huddled around one guy who looked vulnerable amongst the others and you immediately recognise who these people are. To any outsider, they would assume that these people are your typical high school bullies who liked to pick on people for fun but no.

These people, they're dangerous.

Associating oneself with these people automatically gives you a free pass into doing whatever wrong you can imagine. With their leader being the son of the biggest investor of your school, Choi Yeonjun, meant that every teacher, staff, and even the guidance counselor you're encouraged to approach for help will turn a blind eye to their actions as they tell you to forget the events ever happened. Beside him is Choi Beomgyu, a boy with undeniable anger issues. One trigger, one wrong action or move will have you six feet underground with him waving you off.

"Yah, Heeseung." One of them squatted down beside the said boy, who stayed seated on the filthy ground. You could only assume that the third guy who's squatted down beside him is Kang Taehyun as with him, their trio would finally be complete. Your eyes go wide as the realization hits you that the boy being picked on is actually Lee Heeseung, the boy you've been searching for for the past five or so minutes.

'So this is why he couldn't meet me at the rooftop before.'

When Lee Heeseung doesn't give any sort of reply, they scoff in annoyance, throwing a harsh kick on his stomach. Although you weren't the one hit, you wince in pain as you could only imagine the torture Lee Heeseung is going through.

"Come on, Heeseung-ssi. Just do as we say and we'll stop bothering you." Kang Taehyun says, grabbing a fist full of Heeseungs hair in his hands and forcing the boy to look up. "It's that simple."

Now, you can see the boy's face clearly— all thanks to the asshole that was pulling his hair away from his face. Lee Heeseungs lip is bruised up and there's a stray line of blood dripping down towards his chin. There's also blood gushing out from the damaged skin of his cheekbone, undoubtedly punched. By who? You have no idea but you could only guess it's from one of them.

"Fuck you." He spats out to the boy who's gripping his hair, blood mixing in with his saliva. From his position standing up, Yeonjun only scoffs in utter disbelief, poking his tongue on the side of his cheek to show his impatience.

Kang Taehyun wipes his face slowly using his hands. You can tell he's annoyed however he doesn't show it. Only showing how his temper has been running thin, and now, even thinner because of the blood mixed with saliva running down from his eye all the way to his cheek. "You son of a bitch!" He screams out before throwing a nasty punch at Lee Heeseungs already damaged cheekbone, worsening the wound. "Why're you defending that whore anyways, huh? I thought you liked that quiet kid in your class. Did she get too boring or did she finally find out how much of a stalker you are?"

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath trying to calm yourself down but it seemed that doing so only made it worse as now, you're focused on their voices, their words, and at the way, every kick, punch, and slap is directed towards Lee Heeseung. 

The three of them let out an annoyingly loud laugh and it makes your skin crawl. Tearing your eyes away from the scene, you lean against the wall, unsure of what to do. You're sure you want to help Heeseung but the question is how? 

You're itching to do something, anything just to make all of it stop because you can't bear hearing his grunts every time they throw a punch his way or his small screams of pain as they kick his stomach. Lastly, you can't bear hearing their insults, the names they call him. Lee Heeseung doesn't deserve any of it but what can you do? There's only a handful of options you can think of that may benefit the both of you in the outcome. You can't just go out there to fight them. You're no boxer and you're certainly no athlete. One punch from them can easily knock you out, rendering you useless. The option of going out there and threatening them with a weapon isn't good either. It's three against two and you dont think Lee Heeseung can even stand up and fight so really, it's just you against three well-built bullies. 

Running out of time and favourable solutions, you choose to run. With all the strength you could muster, you dash away from the scene, running out of the building, praying to God that you find someone, anyone who you know is willing to help you fight against them.

His friends are your first option so you scurry around trying to find at least one of them when finally, sitting there at the bottom of the stairs leading towards the rooftop, you see Sim Jaeyun with his head propped up on one hand that rested on top of his knees and the other on he's using to scroll through his phone, seeming as if he's impatiently waiting for someone.

"Sim Jaeyun!" You're out of breath but you don't stop for air as the only thing in your jumbled mind that stays coherent is your drive to relieve the boy in need from his pain. "It's Lee Heeseung! He's… They're beating him up and I—I don't know what to do. Please help him." You ask, voice desperate and pleading.

Sim Jaeyuns eyes turn wide, immediately jolting up from his seat as he gestures for you to lead the way. The boy doesn't ask questions like "What happened?", "What's wrong?", "Is he badly hurt?" as his mind is too occupied with the thought of his brother being in trouble. The boy follows you as the both of you sprint back towards the same corner you had initially found Lee Heeseung and finds that the four of them are still there.

At the sound of your heavy running footsteps, the three of them turn their heads towards the both of you, followed by Lee Heeseung whose head felt heavy due to the endless beating he's received and the amount of blood he's lost. As the man beside you takes the scene of his friend looking battered and beaten, rage fills his veins as he lunges towards the three of them, not giving a damn even if he's outnumbered. You had guessed that Sim Jaeyun is stronger than he looked with the way three of them are struggling to contain the outraged boy. 

While they're preoccupied with each other, you use this as a chance to come to Lee Heeseungs aid. Running up beside him, you crouch down to his level, cautiously pushing his bangs away from his face so you could inspect his injuries. His wounds have gotten worse, bigger and bloodier. His lip is completely busted, swollen and full of cuts— even worse than when you left.  His cheeks are purple and swollen and you're angered to have found a new injury directed towards his left eye. Looking at him now, you can't help but feel like shit for leaving him alone to suffer at the hands of Choi Yeonjun and his friends, feeling useless that you couldn't have taken them all at once— like his friend is doing.

"H-Heeseung?" You ask him in a whisper, cupping his swollen cheek in your hands so you could turn his head to look at you and so that he could feel you there. He winces in pain and you immediately retract your hand, afraid to hurt him even further. "I-It's me, YN." You smile nervously, shy to have been so close to him.  "You're okay now. I got your friend? Sim Jaeyun, right? He's here."

Upon hearing that, he smiles dreamily, as if out of it before sighing comfortably, closing his eyes and passing out after due to exhaustion. "H-Heeseung?" You call out, stuttering as you tap his cheek. When he doesn't answer, you panic, quickly turning to Sim Jaeyun who just threw a punch at Choi Beomgyus face, knocking him to the ground. "J-Jaeyun! H-Heeseung isn't… He passed out, Jaeyun. I don't know what to do." You whimper, feeling helpless.

Endless punches, kicks, and shouts were exchanged by the four of them with Sim Jaeyun miraculously coming out on top. 

"You fucking bastards!" He screams, swinging his fist at Choi Yeonjuns face. Afterwards, he grabs the boy's collar, pushing his face closer as he threatens their leader. "I thought I already told you to stay away from him?!"

"Aw come one, Jake. You act like you're so different from us." One of them manages to cough out.

The boy is fuming as he takes in the unconscious figure of his dear friend lying on the ground and your distressed figure beside him, trying to make Lee Heeseungs unconscious body as comfortable as you can. There's a line of sweat coating his forehead but that's the least of his worries. Kang Taehyun is down on the ground, writhing in pain while clutching his stomach. Choi Beomgyu is leant against the wall as he spits out the blood that pooled inside his mouth, body swaying in dizziness. The only one left standing is Choi Yeonjun but you doubt he'd last long as you're proven right as he's immediately knocked down to the ground by the other.

"I swear, if you touch Heeseung hyung again, you three are really going to pay." He seethes out as neither of them reply, too tired and beat up to do so. Afterwards, he takes quick steps towards the two of you, immediately hooking Lee Heeseungs arm around his shoulders as you help him, the three of you exiting and going towards the nurse's office.

You're flabbergasted, to say the least. This is the first time you’ve ever witnessed a fight happen first-hand and you have a feeling this won't be the last if you keep associating yourself with his friend group. This side of Sim Jaeyun is unknown to you— as any side of him is. Having only known the boy as a mere bystander through the year, you had expected the boy to be an adorable puppy— much like his face. A happy-go-lucky friend that's cheerful and always ready to bring a smile to your face, not a punch. Perhaps you've judged too quickly as not everyone is the same as their cover shows. However, what makes your mind confused the most is how there's not a single ounce of fear in your body as you stand beside the boy.

The way his body moved so naturally in that setting made you wonder whether he's done this before, fighting. It seemed as if they had a history together, based on the words Sim Jaeyun let out in anger as he defended the older.

Speaking of the boy, you wonder what the reason for Choi Yeonjun and his crew targeting Lee Heeseung is— as you know they don't just mess around with random people. This eventually takes you back to the conversation they had prior to when you called Sim Jaeyun over for help. Lee Heeseung did something they didn't like, that's for sure. What is it? You have no idea but you ought to find out.

This might be the reason Lee Heeseung chose to take his life. The beating, the constant haunting done by the trio. Whether your hunch is fact or not, you'd do whatever it takes to find out, because after all, saving him is the reason you agreed to be sent back despite the danger, right? You only have one chance, so there's no room for failure. Soon enough, the creature named Apollyon is going to find out and you know for a fact that when he does, you're going to get hurt— much like how Lee Heeseung is right now. Standing beside Lee Heeseungs unconscious body which lay peacefully across the hospital bed placed inside the nurse's office, you can't help but feel a sense of responsibility to look after the boy when the creature does come and try to hurt the both of you. You wonder, is there a possibility that he's already found out? Within a day? Was this his doing?

Your mind buzzes as questions flow endlessly and you make a point to ask the Grim Reaper or rather, Sunoo, about this later, hoping that he can spare some details about what's going to happen.

You almost forget the fact that Sim Jaeyun is standing there beside you until he speaks. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, YN." The said puppy-dog-faced boy apologizes, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"O-Oh it's fine, really. I understand." You try to assure him but your tone seems to have betrayed you. "I'm just glad Lee Heeseung's going to be fine."

"Yeah," Sim Jaeyun agrees, rocking his feet back and forth as he nods. "The nurse says all he needs is some ice and rest and then he'll be good to go."

You nod in understanding, happy that the damage dealt was minimal. There's a moment of silence that passes between the both of you as the other is unsure of what to say next. 

"Say, YN. I-I actually have a favor to ask you." He says smiling sheepishly, digging his hands inside the front pockets of his pants. You let out a hum, prodding him to continue as your eyes stay glued to the way Lee Heeseungs chest heaved every time he breathed. "If… um… Can you keep what happened earlier a secret?"

You tilt your head to the side as you tear your eyes away from Lee Heeseung to look at him. "Don't you think Choi Yeonjun and the others will tell someone before I even peep a word in?" You reason.

"They won't tell anybody about it, I'm sure." He assures you before sighing deeply, looking back and forth between you and his palms— as if he's debating on whether to tell you something. Noticing this, you give him an encouraging smile, motivating him to continue. This seemed to have worked as he finally found the courage to open up to you. "I've known those guys a while back. I— I'm not proud of my past with them. Those guys have big egos. They aren't going to admit to anyone they lost a fight with three against one."

Laughing at how convenient this all is, you ask "You used to be friends with them?"

"Yeah, I— um… used to." He answers. "We used to get into all sorts of trouble. Luckily, Heeseung hyung pulled me out and I left that life behind."

Nodding, you take the information in, failing to find the right words to reply with. Clearly, you aren't as observant as you thought you were as you had barely even noticed how Sim Jaeyun used to be in the same group as them. "It's a good thing he knocked some sense into you then." You conclude.

"He was great, really. He saw the good in me even when I didn't— when no one did, and I'm forever going to be thankful for that."

"You're a good guy, Sim Jaeyun. I'm glad Lee Heeseung has a friend like you by his side. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what happened today, I promise." You smile at him and he smiles at you back. 

After a while, he tells you that he'll be right back, informing you that he's going to go and tell the others what happened. Understanding the worry the others might have been feeling at the absence of two of their oldest, you nod, allowing him to leave you as you stay beside Lee Heeseung so you could provide him with some company when he wakes up.

"Oh, and YN— fuck. Wait, sorry. Is it okay if I call you that?" He asks and you nod, appreciating how he's asked you for your consent at the smallest thing like calling your name. He gives his own nod back, biting his lips to conceal his grin. "Great! And call me Jake, yeah? And I'm sure Heeseung hyung will appreciate it if you just called him Heeseung instead."

A few hours passed and it's already three in the afternoon. Classes are almost done and you're happy to walk into the nurse's office hearing Lee Heeseungs voice talking and laughing, his body is now well and awake. The six of them came in about thirty minutes ago and you left for a moment to provide them some privacy. 

Upon your entry, his gaze locks with yours and all chattering and banter seem to stop as all heads turn to look your way. Now, all their attention is directed towards you as their expressions vary between shocked and speechless to mischievous and teasing— the latter being directed mostly towards the boy who laid in bed. It's not only theirs but his too. Lee Heeseungs eyes, you mean. You fidget with your hands from where you stood as heat pools across your cheeks, offering him a small, shy smile.

"Hi." Whispering, you wave a hand curtly towards his way. "You okay… Heeseung?" You ask, your voice faltering towards the end when you had said his name as you threw a glance at Sim Jaeyun, who you now refer to as Jake. He gives you a satisfied grin and a thumbs up, appreciating that you had accepted his previous request.

Calling him just by the name 'Heeseung' is still new to you and it sends your tongue into a frenzy every time you say his name as a rebellious surge of heat makes its way all throughout your body. Still, you love the feeling it gives you when it rolls out.

Heeseungs bambi-like eyes seem to widen, heat making its way to his bruised up cheek, seemingly forgetting your question as cheers and screams erupt around the room. Clearly, the younger ones like to tease their oldest. You're sure of this because of the way Park Sunghoon pokes Heeseungs shoulder, snickering at the older. Heeseung throws the boy a playful glare whilst telling him in a whispering manner to shut up. This doesn't seem to be the remedy for his problems however as now, everyone seems to be doing the same all at once; poking, teasing, snickering, and smirking.

You can't hide your own giggle as what you had expected to be an awkward check up on the boy had turned into pure chaos as you use the back of your hand to hide the grin on your face.

"Alright guys, that's enough." Park Jongseong is the one that finally shuts the others up, Heeseung throwing a thankful glance at the boy. "We'll leave you guys alone for a bit. I think Heeseung hyung has something to say to YN?" He inquires, casting a knowing glance towards the oldest who's now blushing an even deeper red than before.

The rest erupt into cheers, patting his shoulder as they make their way outside the door. Before they go out of sight, they give you a small wave, seemingly shy now that they're in front of someone they don't know as they sport a few small teasing grins. You bid them your own farewell, shaking your head at their nonsense, leaving Heeseung and you alone inside the nurses office.

"Um…" He starts, chewing the bottom of his lip, a nervous habit, you assume he has. "Hi, YN."

You tilt your head, smiling at him, happy that he's okay and finding the situation silly as you could only guess what's about to happen next. 

He's going to confess, like he initially planned.

"Hi, Heeseung." You reply, simply. "How're you feeling?" You ask.

His eyes widen, seeming to have forgotten his current state as he realizes and takes a look at the multiple bandages covering his healing wounds. "O-Oh! These? These are nothing. I'm okay!" He assures you quickly, shaking his arms in front of him as if to show you he was well.  "Nothing I can't handle."

"Don't tell me you're used to getting beaten up, Lee Heeseung. I never took you as a scuffler." You say in a teasing manner. 

For the umpteenth time since seeing him in a conscious state, he widens his eyes cutely and he's quick to deny your playful accusation. "N-No! That's not what I meant! I don't get into fights, I swear!" He says, shaking his head cutely and it makes his hair sway. "I'm a good guy. You can ask Jake!"

You shake your head, finding his reactions funny. "I know, Heeseung. I'm just messing with you."

Taking a look inside Heeseungs mind, it's filled with thoughts of you; how you're talking to him right now, how he's managed to say coherent words to you, how pretty you look, how you're looking at him, how he's in the same room as you are. He's in chaos right now, trying to calm his fastening heartbeat. 

He's always found you so beautiful, his adoration only growing as he grew taller. In his mind, he thinks that you probably don't pay attention to him much but still, you have all of his. He's seen the way you act around your parents, so caring and gentle. How you're so unbelievably smart, winning all the competitions and gaining the highest marks. How passionate and driven you are when you set your mind on something. Those were only some of the things he loved about you.

Out of the blue, he takes a deep sigh. "Y-YN…" He calls out and you reply by humming as you tilt your head, waiting for him to continue. "I actually have something to tell you."

His face has only grown hotter by the second, trying to gather the confidence to finally tell you what he's been dying to confess for years. In a way, you feel as if you're cheating, already knowing what he's about to do and thus, lacking the suspense you're supposed to feel. But you can only feel a tinge of guilt as you take a look at his expression, so adorable and deer-like while you wait for him to confess. 

Still, you feel giddy regardless of knowing. "Yeah? What is it?"

"I— I've actually liked you… for a while now." He says, shyly, looking at your expression. "This might actually seem kinda weird— is it? Umm, I-I don't know. Sorry, this is so awkward. I'm awkward! Not you!" He rambles on. 

"This is definitely not how I wanted this to go." He mutters the last part mostly to himself but still, you hear it. Giggling at his antics, you shake your head, using the back of your hand to cover the shit-eating grin that's on your mouth, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed any further as you tell him to go on. Breathing out, he clears his throat before speaking, " I-I like you, YN."

Although you already knew that, your heart still seems to be flustered, beating faster than you had expected. As you take in his confession, a surge of heat dances across your whole face, much to your protests. Truthfully, you're not sure what to reply and you have no idea where this side of you that's all shy and playful came from. Does he bring out a side of you that even you were unaware of having? Maybe. Talking to him seems so comforting, so calming that it seems to just come out naturally when you're around him— albeit, this is the first time it's happened. 

Did you have any interest in Lee Heeseung before knowing what happened? 

'No, no, I definitely didn't.' 

Way to make it more obvious, smartass.

Okay, so maybe you did have some interest in him way back then. It was a simple crush really. He's your classmate. You found him nice to look at. You also found out that he's an incredibly nice person. Thus, just for the sake of having someone to crush on, purely for inspiration purposes, you chose him, reasoning that he's the best candidate and suited your 'ideal man'; tall, big and pretty eyes, tall nose, pouty lips, huge ears, prominent Adam's apple. You inwardly sigh whilst rolling your eyes, realizing that you've been describing how Lee Heeseung looks and him being your 'ideal man.'

Being the introvert you are, you never bothered to make a move and confess to him about it, nor did you assume that he was the secret man who left a love letter to you so he could confess.

Would you have still saved him if you were oblivious to the fact that he loved you? Yes, definitely. There were no questions asked about that. But now he's here. Sure, you admit this isn't how you expected him to confess to you; him laying on a hospital bed, all bruised up after you had just helped save him from a fight, but it's real and true and that's all you desire in a man.

"R-Remember the love letter that you got this morning? That was actually me. I'm sorry I didn't get to confess to you on the rooftop like I said I would. And I'm sorry I'm confessing to you like this." He says, apologising although it's not his fault. "But I'll take my chances and ask anyway. YN, would you… err… mind dating me?"

And now, the answer seems so simple, so clear. You like him and he likes you. What idiot are you to pass up a chance to fall in love with someone like him? Taking this mission on, you didn't expect to come out of it with a potential boyfriend. That is, if you succeed in saving him. 

You're still not too confident, thinking that you aren't the best person for this as changing someone's mind about committing suicide when they're so set on doing so is harder than you it let's on to be. However, The Grim Reaper's words resonate in you, reminding you that you're the only person that can do this, and so, you'd like to think that being close to him like this will help and also because maybe acting upon your feelings doesn't seem so bad. Even if there's a chance he might leave you heartbroken in the end.

So, yes. "Yes, I'll gladly date you Heeseung. I'd be really happy to." 

And now, you're really in it. You're going to save Lee Heeseung.

SEPTEMBER 26 ༉༊

After Heeseung had confessed to you in the nurse's office and being the head-over-heels man that he is, Heeseung immediately sprang up the idea of the two of you going on a date this Saturday— which is tomorrow. Grinning, you happily agreed, completely forgetting the literary contest you had to prepare for. However, as of the moment, that's the least of your worries because if things go according to how it happened before, you'll win the contest in Busan and go back home with a medal and certificate in your hands.

Leaving with each other's phone number, you bid the other goodbye, wearing the same identical grin on your faces. Leaving the room, you left with the promise of meeting each other again tomorrow lingering in the air while the last school bell rings.

That confession would've never happened if you weren't given the task to be sent back in time to save him. Although it's irrelevant, now, you hold no grudges towards your secret admirer because the reason he couldn't meet you wasn't because he stood you up, but because he was actually getting beaten up. If you didn't opt to search for the boy, the fight would've lasted longer, leaving him with an even more horrible outcome.

Currently, you're sprawled across your bed with nothing to do but think and reminisce about the events that happened and that're going to happen. You opt to think of a course of action ahead of time, trying to remember all the events that are going to take place in the next twenty days so you could maneuver around it.

Tomorrow, instead of going on a date with your highschool crush, you stayed in your room to practice for the literary contest and the same will happen tomorrow.

On Monday, you and a few other willing students who want to show their support for the school will go to Busan. This leaves you wondering if Heeseung was there because when school work is involved, you don't pay attention to anybody else but the work at hand. So it's hardly unlikely for you to remember or to even notice his presence. But in the end, like you've said, you'll win and come home happy as the rain will start pouring on your way back home. The next day, you were absent as you had played in the rain the night prior, rendering you sick and unable to go to class.

Amidst your thinking, a gust of wind suddenly made your windows fly open, curtains swaying wildly. Your heart rate slightly picks up, suddenly feeling nervous as chills run along your arms, giving you goosebumps. You sit up and kneel on top of your bed, peeking out the opened window only to see a cat walking along the roof of your neighbours house. This makes you calm down, sighing in relief as you close the windows shut. Suddenly, you hear a whip of air followed by a thud coming from behind you. The sound makes you turn quickly, eyes widening in shock to see Sunoo there, looking out of breath.

"Sunoo! For the last time, will you stop scaring me like that!?" You scream as you rush to stand up, stopping once you're in front of him as you hold a hand above your beating heart.

But all he gives you is a guilty smile. "Sorry, YN. It's fun seeing your reaction every time I scare you."

Rolling your eyes, you huff at the boy, crossing your arms at your chest. "It's not funny, you ass." Your eyes narrow, leaning your face close to his. "Where have you been anyways? I've been waiting for hours." 

"Nowhere. Just trying to keep things unnoticed as much as I can." He shrugs as if it's nothing, pulling your desk chair back to sit. "Anyways, I have good news." He smiles widely, making his cheeks look plumper.

"Yeah, well that sucks because you have to answer my questions first. I assume you saw what happened today." You ask, quirking your eyebrows up, daring him to protest and you let out a satisfied hum when he only replies with a nod. "Say, what happened to Lee Heeseung before? I was busy preparing for a contest back then, I barely took notice of him." You casually ask, turning your back to him as you start walking towards the small shelf at the corner of your room.

He sighs, the cheerful and bubbly aura on his face wavering, showing remorse and pity in its place. "Heeseung went into a short coma after almost getting beaten up to death." He starts and you listen with wide eyes, shocked that you were so preoccupied to the point where you didn't know that something so life-threatening happened to one of your classmates.

As if to reminisce about the past incident, Sunoo looks outside, moonlight hitting his face as he admires it. "That day when he was supposed to meet you at the rooftop, he got stopped by those three. They started beating him up because he was a witness to something horrible they did. Heeseung wouldn't agree to turn a blind eye like they wanted him to so they beat the crap out of him. He got beaten up over and over after he woke up and was well enough to go back to school again. His family isn't that rich and they already have trouble paying their usual bills. As you know, hospital bills aren't cheap and they have to work themselves to death just to pay their debt. Heeseung could tell they were all having a hard time because of him." Picking up a random pencil on your table, he starts fidgeting with it, twisting the object between two fingers as he continues to tell you Heeseung's story.

"Heeseung changed after that day. He suddenly got more serious, more stoic and he even stopped hanging out with his friends all together. He stopped doing everything he loved and drowned himself in work. He was still getting beaten up by those three until all of it became too much to bear for a high school student. That, along with carrying the guilt of knowing… N-Nevermind. Eventually, you know… He… He killed himself."

"So if I didn't arrive there at all he would've gotten into a coma and all of this would've happened?" Sunoo nods sadly, speaking the truth. Your heart feels dejected and hurt as drops of what would usually be rain but —are now replaced with tears of your own— make their way down your face for the first time in what seemed like forever. Your thoughts are scrambled, filled to the brim with emotion, when suddenly, you remember something that doesn't quite make sense to you still. "You said he was a witness to something, what was he a witness of?"

"I-I don't know if it's my place, YN." He's hesitant to say as he tries his best to avoid eye contact with you. Already feeling the guilt of not knowing something so vile happening to someone, you're speechless when he doesn't tell you.

"Oh for goodness sake! You already brought me back here against the universal laws, I'm doing this with the fear of me and the people around me getting fucking hurt. I'm sure you can tell me what he saw." You scoff. Still, he seems conflicted about whether to tell you or not but his hesitance only annoys you so you press him on even more. "What did he see, Sunoo?" You ask, pausing in between words.

"YN… I-I really think you should ask Heeseung, instead. I won't be able to give you the full—"

"Just tell me what you know!" You scream out. "I'm so sick of this! You want me to help him yet you give me nothing to go off of. How am I supposed to save him if you won't tell me why he's getting beaten up?!"

"That's the thing! You've already saved him, YN!" He replies back enthusiastically, hoping you'd change your mind. "You're a smart kid YN. I'm sure you know what the butterfly effect theory is, don't you?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance. "Yes, I do and what about it?" You deadpan.

"You managed to save Lee Heeseung from his coma! Meaning, his family won't get flooded with debts and he won't feel guilty for being the reason for it. That's enough to lessen the pain Heeseung felt and he won't be pushed to take his life anymore." It sounds absurd but his theory pans out right. With you arriving early to the scene, Heeseung didn't get beaten to the brink of death, saving him from his coma and lessening his feeling of being a burden. It seems like a small change but the effect is massive. Just like what the butterfly effect entails.

"We can go back right now while they still don't know about it and you won't be harmed." His offer seems too good to be true but you see no signs of error with his plan.

But still, you're bothered, itching to know what Heeseung has seen. "If we continue now won't Heeseung still get beaten up by those shit heads?" 

"He'll fight back this time. With you and the others by his side, his resolve is now stronger." He's not telling you the whole truth.

By the way his hands are moving and the tone of his voice, you can tell he's lying. He might be an otherworldly being but the boy doesn't know anything about being a good liar.

"And what about the thing he witnessed, are you willing to tell me now?" You ask, leaning your body weight onto on foot whilst crossing your arms over your chest.

"No." He tries to answer simply. However, you notice the way his jaw clenches along with his fists whenever you touch upon the subject. "You don't need to know about that, YN."

"And why is that? You've told me useless information before. Surely this isn't any different than those." 

"It is, YN." He tries convincingly but in the end, his gaze falters as he locks eyes with your persistent ones, finally realizing that you weren't going to stop asking until he told you. So with a sigh of defeat. "Five days ago, when Heeseung was on his way back home from school, he saw a girl being assaulted by those people who beat him up. Before they could do anything to the girl, Heeseung managed to rescue her and get away. In the original timeline, Heeseung and the girl will press charges and fail. The girl… she'll continue living her life in fear of them coming back. She blamed Heeseung for not being able to do anything. She said that if he couldn't help her put them in jail then he should've left them to do what they wanted with her; that it was all his fault."

'Ungrateful bitch.'

You don't have any idea who the girl is but your blood feels like it's going to boil through your skin with your hand itching to touch a certain someone's cheek. Despite what you know she's been through, all you feel is hatred and malice towards the girl as there's not an ounce of sympathy as you're unable to wrap your head around her thought process.

"How can someone be so ungrateful!?" You scream out in shock. "He's just as much of a victim than she is and she has the fucking audacity to blame him? The person who saved her?" You don't expect a reasonable answer from the boy, more so saying it out of disbelief and anger.

Far from his usual bubbly self, Sunoo only replies with a nod, seeming to be ashamed as he bows his head down, unable to look you in the eye.

"Why did you keep this hidden from me?" You sigh in exasperation, nudging your chin towards him.

"She… She's actually my sister, sadly." He smiles both in shame for her sister's actions and sorrow for what could have almost happened to her. "I guess I was just ashamed."

Speechless, you stammer for a few moments, mouth open and closing in shock as you try to compose a more coherent sentence. "Wow, I guess we can't really choose our relatives, can we?" You sight out, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry for talking crap about her like that."

All Sunoo does is shrugs. "It's okay. She wasn't always the best sister." 

"Okay then. As long as Heeseung is fine, I'm willing to go back." You breathe out, patting the sides of your thighs to ready yourself. Sunoo smiles at you, nodding in appreciation.

OCTOBER 16 ༉༊

Opening your eyes, you're met with the same frost that the rain brought you like the last time you went to bed. The only difference your half-awaken body could comprehend is the amount of pillows suddenly decorating your bed— not to mention how hard the one placed on your back feels. Gripping the blanket tighter around your body, you turn in place, humming in satisfaction when the pillow wraps its arms around your waist tighter. In your state, you snuggle deeper into its warm embrace.

You stay like that for a couple of minutes, trying to catch your dreams as you relish the comfort both your pillows and blankets were giving you when out of nowhere, a chuckle breaks its way through your ears, catching you off-guard. With wide eyes, you turn around in a quick motion and sure enough, like a male lead in a teenage romantic drama, Lee Heeseung is laid there beside you on the bed, looking at you with stars in his eyes. Seeing your expression, he giggles and it feels like he's serenading you with tooth rottingly sweet songs while his nose crinkles with glee as strands of his hair decorate his puffed up face.

In this moment, you could tear up. In fact, that's just what you do, you burst into tears the moment you lock eyes with him. Sobbing, you bury your head at the crook of his neck as your hands wrap around his waist tightly, afraid to let go because you think that if you do, you might wake up. Your own tears stain his neck but he doesn't seem to mind, more so showing concern towards your actions. He pats you in the back, asking you what's wrong, but you only reply to him with a defiant shake of your head and a hard squeeze as he tries to take a look at you.

"YN?"

He's alive and he's laying down beside you. Your heartbeat is fastened, stupefied by how you could feel his touch on your skin, how you could feel his breath on your forehead, and how you can feel the beating of his heart through the thin layer of his plain white t-shirt. He’s the only thing you can feel and you’re over the moon by it.

“H-Heeseung.” You hiccup, leaving his neck to look at his face as you cup his cheeks with both hands. “You’re here.” You breathe out, chuckling as you smile through your tear stricken face.

His eyes are filled with worry as he looks at you, hand coming to mirror your actions as he wipes the stray tears that left your eyes. “I’ve been here since yesterday, baby. What do you mean?”

Although you’re confused by how Lee Heeseung, your classmate who had just confessed to you, is in your room, sleeping beside you, you don’t question it. Wanting to indulge in the moment longer, you bury your head in his chest in a hug, overjoyed by the outcome of your crazy adventure. Truely, it's a blessing in the skies to have Heeseung beside you, living and breathing. What’s more lucky is how your relationship with him has seemed to blossom after your obscure confession, but you wouldn't have it any other way because right now, Heeseung will be right beside you, always— just where you want him to be.

“Did you have a nightmare again?” He pouts with furrowed brows. “I didn’t cheat on you in your dreams again, did I? Dream Heeseung is actually such an asshole.” He finishes by rolling his eyes in disgust.

He’s insulting himself and normally, you would be against it, voicing your distaste through your inner thoughts, however, instead of doing that, you laugh, finding his humor comforting while his body is pressed against yours.

Now, you don’t mind the thunderous rain anymore. With Heeseung beside you, you feel like you can have a positive view on everything bad that gets thrown your way. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? Him dying? No problem, you have a reaper as a friend to help you with that. 

Although yours and Heeseungs relationship hasn’t been online for that long, you’ve come to the realization that in your case, time is irrelevant. Time is complex and always changing. Some may say that time goes by too fast and for some, too slow, however, there is one thing you know that will never change, and that’s Heeseung. With time, your admiration for him will only grow, turning into love and the next is what’s beyond that. As you watch the way his eyes shine every time he talks, you dive in deeper, willingly drowning yourself in him until he’s all that you can see, hear, feel, touch, and taste. With time, the both of you will grow, change, and mature, but that doesn’t scare you. You aren't frightened that he might turn into someone else and leave the highschool Heeseung behind him, no, because like time, Heeseung is ever so changing.

How you know your relationship was formed might not be what others perceive as normal, but to you, it’s perfect. No matter how many lives you live nor how many universes there are, you’ll still choose him because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want Lee Heeseung to sing them to sleep. It’s like walking around with a spotify premium wherever you go!

Nevertheless, you’ll protect him and he'll do the same for you. With this frail and useless body of yours, you’ll defend him. It doesn't matter who you're dealing with or how big the problem is because he knows that you’ll be there by his side. With that thought and your love in mind, Heeseung feels like he could conquer the world— not that he wants to anyways. All the things he wants in life are already right in front of him, in the shape of you. Sure, it’s short, messy, and can get incredibly emotional at times but that doesn’t matter because he wouldn't want you any other way than yourself.

"Belated Happy Birthday, by the way." You whisper through your tears..

From outside the water stained window of your room, two prying eyes are peeking in, looking at the loving couple sprawled across their room on a rainy day.

“Sunoo, you’re lucky this didn’t cause any trouble with the time cycle.” Apollyon says whilst sighing in defeat once he turns his head and notices that the reaper he came here with just continues to blatantly stare at the both of you with longing in his eyes. “You’re new that’s why im letting you get away with this but I'll have you know that if you do something like this again—”

“I know.” The boy simply replies.

Tired, he shakes his head at the boy in defeat. Like the other, he turns his head to look at the unknowing couple happily talking to each other. Heeseung leans his lips near your ear, whispering. You listen to him eagerly, eyes growing animatedly wide once he’s finished and a feverous red-hot blush coats your face. He leans away to look at your reaction, however before he could, you turn your head away, slapping his chest and pointing a lecturing finger at him afterwards. 

“They’re good for each other.” Apollyon comments, complimenting the both of you. “You’re more suited to be cupid instead of reaper, don't you think?” He jokes which the other only shrugs in response.

“By the way, about the soul you're looking for—”

“Leave it.” 

Apollyon stops and looks at the boy with disbelief written across his face. “A-Are you sure?”

“I'm sure. She deserves peace and I’m not going to be the one taking it away from her.” Sunoo says, smiling even though his heart felt like it was chipping away.

“Besides, she killed herself to get away from me, didn't she?”

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angel in the marble

after you fail to pickpocket him, the famous yet arrogant artist Jeon Jungkook takes you off the streets to make you his servant, and the more you know him, the more you realise he's not as detestable as everyone claims he is.

♔ PAIRING: michelangelo!jungkook x servant!reader

♔ GENRE: high renaissance au, angst, smut, humour

♔ WORD COUNT: 8k

♔ WARNINGS: homelessness, stealing, mild swearing/violence/drinking, 90% of this is bickering lmao, mentions of minor characters' death, jealousy and kinda possessiveness?, referenced unconsensual groping (not by jk), a bit of blasphemy, making out, groping, fingering, rough angry sexxx, choking, slapping

♔ AUTHOR'S NOTE: fun fact this is mostly historically accurate! jk's characterisation, the grocery list doodles, the sack of rome, the beef with his brother, the encounter with his rival (raphael)... are all taken from michelangelo's actual life, even some stuff is quoted from his letters lol. man was fanfic material.

1529, Rome

“How much for that one?”

“No, that one’s sold already.”

It was a lively morning. After days of heavy rainfall, those of high social class were eager to get out and meet under the gentle sun of spring, whose glare reflected on the precious stones of their jewellery; while those of low, out of necessity, couldn’t wait to reopen their businesses or set up their stalls and get back to work. You liked to eye them all as you strolled the streets of Rome.

“To whom?”

“Your friend Taehyung.”

“Agh… How much is that prick paying you?”

The point of the matter was that it was bustling, some colliding if they looked away from where they were going for more than a breath. It worked in your favour for it was then easier to make yourself scarce right after stealing bags of coins, such as those of the three men seemingly bargaining by a workshop’s entrance out of which a large block of marble was being dragged. Perfect.

“Three ducats.”

“Three?! He’s robbing you of two ducats. I’ll pay you the five it’s worth.”

You kept your head low as you approached the pair that seemed wealthier and with those stealthy hands of yours unfastened the bags tied to their belts. After all, pickpocketing was a skill you’d had under your own for some years now, so this was bound to go smoothly.

Because you didn’t realise there was a guardian with them, perhaps you’d grown arrogant.

“I’m sorry, maestro. It’s reserved.”

“But it’ll become a waste in his possession!”

As you slipped away into the crowd, mouth watering at the fresh-baked bread you were going to devour as soon as bought, this brown dog leaped up at you out of nowhere, ignoring your desperate efforts to shake him off. If anything, they caused him to bark.

No, no, no…

The three men turned to the scene playing out not so far, and thinking his dog was bothering you one of them shouted, “Bam, come here, boy!” but as he obediently ran to his owner, you were too slow to hide the bags in your hands. It only took the pair a second to make them out, check whether theirs still hung on their belts, find them not, work out you’d stolen them, look back up, and find you not either.

Of course, you’d made your escape by then, dived into the sea of people and swum through them as quickly as possible, only stopping when you reached an empty vaulted alley to catch your breath.

That was ridiculously close. If you weren’t more careful next–

Your train of thought was interrupted by someone grabbing you by the arm from behind and pushing you against the nearest wall. A grunt accompanied the thud, and a gasp followed at the sight of the two men from before—dog included. Pinned in place, it’d be a bad idea to fight back or attempt to run away again. Fuck’s sake.

“Do you know what happens to thieves?” the one cornering you asked so close that when the cold breeze rustled his hair, some strands grazed your face. You looked away to avoid the tickling rather than out of fear, or so you wanted to believe. “They have a hand cut off. Seems fair, doesn’t it, Jimin?”

By contrast, that Jimin didn’t look intimidating, otherwise still catching his breath from the chase, but he did snatch the coin bags from your hands. “It doesn’t have to be so, maestro. We got our money back. She’s… just a girl.”

“And that exempts her of crime?”

“Please, don’t report me,” you begged, humiliating as though it was.

“Why shouldn’t we?” the maestro scoffed. Maestro… You were being threatened by a damned craftsman, the other one probably his assistant.

“Because I don’t want to lose a hand?”

“Oh, but we wanted to lose money, did we?” You rolled your eyes, and he released his grip only to step away. “Take us to your father, brat. He’ll answer for you.”

It took you a moment to respond, “I don’t have a father, or anyone... Only I can answer for my actions.”

“You’re a beggar?” Jimin asked, taking pity as he studied your appearance for the first time. Dishevelled hair, tattered dress, unpleasant smell… Yes, they should’ve guessed.

“She doesn’t beg, though, does she? She steals.”

“Only from cunts.”

His head snapped to meet your glare, and Jimin laughed, “You seem to not know whom you speak to.” He could be Jesus for all you cared. Uninterested, you petted the dog, Bam, seeing as he’d leapt up at you again. “This is Jeon Jungkook.”

You froze. The Jeon Jungkook? The famous artist who painted and sculpted for the Pope? Whom faraway kings and even emperors commissioned? The one whose genius was said to be changing the world?

At the lack of attention, Bam returned to his master, and that snapped you out of your shock to ask, “Then why do you whine?” The two men frowned, having clearly expected an apology paired with the usual bootlicking. “As if you need that bag more than I!”

“What nerve,” he scoffed again, making you wince by grabbing your arm tighter than before and starting to drag you into the next street. “You’re going straight to the authorities!”

“Wait,” Jimin intervened, thank God. “Weren’t you in need of a servant, maestro?”

“So?”

Jimin pointed at you with his gaze as though it was obvious. “You’re in need of a servant, she’s in need of a roof.”

“I would rather have a hand cut off.”

“I would rather have her hand cut off too.”

Jungkook tried to resume dragging you, but Jimin blocked his way with a soft smile. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N…”

“Do you know how to take care of a household?” Slowly, you nodded, melancholy engulfing you at the memory of cooking or sweeping the floor with your mother once upon a time. Somehow, she always found a way to make chores fun... “Then you qualify for the job. You’ll have three meals a day and a bed to sleep on. And you, maestro, a servant who’ll work her hardest, lest you fire her and she ends up in the streets again.”

Both you and Jungkook reluctantly glanced at each other. Truth be told, you didn’t prefer losing a hand to living with him, you just didn’t like him. Despite being a celebrity, he was a stranger. It just wouldn’t work.

But then, why were you holding your breath, hoping he’d accept?

“We shouldn’t have left Namjoon’s workshop. The marble is about to be delivered,” he said walking away. The air left your lungs in disappointment. It seemed you were to remain a stray cat. Jimin pressed his plump lips apologetically as he gave you enough coins to buy that bread, and you nodded, grateful all the same for his trying. You watched him rush to Jungkook’s side but when this one saw him, he turned around. “Hurry up, brat. If Taehyung gets that block of marble, I’ll not take you in.”

Since the first day, you could attest to Jeon Jungkook’s nature being as rough and uncouth as the rumours claimed, and after living alone with him for two months still believed gossip such as that he’d got the scar on his left cheek in a tavern fight—in which, if you’d chanced to be present, you would’ve rooted for the other individual.

It appeared it wasn’t just others Jungkook was harsh to. However rich his talent had turned him, he behaved like a poor man, consuming food and drink sparingly and out of necessity instead of pleasure, spending only the money required to live decently, sleeping little in order to work on commissions from dawn to midnight…

Why he chose to take little care of himself was a mystery to someone who previously had not been allowed a choice, even if putting work before all was in order to thwart Kim Taehyung’s plans of ruining his career, as he claimed. You doubted his rival was obsessed with him so, but had learned to agree with whatever Jungkook grumbled to avoid disputes. Most times.

Deep down, you had a feeling your boldness amused him. Who else dared get on his nerves?

“I think all you artists fluttering around the Pope are no more than slaves to money,” you let drop once while making his bed. Bam was sleeping peacefully under the window, while Jungkook leaning against the door’s frame behind you, offended to the core. He could help, you thought, or at least loosen my corset a little…

“I, a slave? I’ll be damned… There is an angel inside every block of marble, and I’ll have you know I carve to set it free.”

“Is it the angel that charges the Pope, then, master?” You could feel him barely restraining the urge to throw you out the window, smiled as you finished smoothing out the blankets.

“You missed a wrinkle there.”

Hands on your hips and frown on your brows, you examined the neatly arranged coverings of his bed. “Where?”

“On your face,” he muttered before making his leave.

Not his finest jibe, but the metaphor did stay with you. An angel inside the marble… It perhaps applied to Jungkook himself, though you’d never tell him.

One instance it came to mind was recently, when his assistants and apprentices were invited over for dinner.

Usually, he’d tell you which meals he liked and you’d ask at the marketplace which ingredients to buy, but now that about ten meals were to be cooked a list was needed. So there he sat on his desk in his study, inking said list as you waited in front of him, fiddling with the undershirt that peeked out of your dress’ sleeves. Given that your eyes were fixed on it, you only learned Jungkook was done when the sound of his quill scratching the paper ceased.

“Be back no later than dusk,” he ordered, “I bet there are still Germans and Spaniards lurking about.”

A year had passed since the Sack of Rome, but the mention of it sent a shiver of fear down your spine. Whatever the political reasons for it, you hated everyone involved, for Hell itself would’ve been a more beautiful sight to behold those nine months when the Tiber’s waters remained painted red…

You were lucky to make it through. Your family wasn’t.

“Yes, master.”

“Here,” he said handing you the paper, then picked another letter from a pile of correspondence he’d been going through before your arrival. Jungkook was about to snap its wax seal when he looked up to realise you hadn’t moved an inch. “Why are you here? Away with you!” He saw the reason in the way you avoided eye contact. “You can’t read, can you?” Met with a silence charged with embarrassment, he leaned back in his chair and sighed, “Give me the list.”

Getting hold of the quill again, Jungkook began… doodling?

You tilted your head but couldn’t see well what he was drawing until he finished and returned the list to you. Then, your lips parted. Each item on the list was illustrated next to its name: ten loaves of bread, a jug of wine, tortellini, four anchovies, two fennel soups…

“I’ll teach you to read when I have time. This will do for now.”

“You’d do that?” For me?

Jungkook ignored you, before he went back to reading his letters complimenting the good gesture with an irritated, “Hurry up.”

That night his co-workers arrived one by one, Jimin the first. The sight of him when you opened the door brightened up your mood.

Unlike a certain someone he was always sweet to you, genuinely interested to know how you fared even if you were just a servant. He claimed that mattered not to him, that you were both commoners and thus equals.

“Look at this place, it’s spotless! And you know I’m furtive, so I won’t get in your way,” you told Jimin as you escorted him through a hallway, bright from the torches hung on the walls that you’d lit up earlier.

He laughed, “I cannot make you my servant, Y/N, you’re maestro’s.”

“But he’s going to drive me mad… To tell you one of many examples, he often falls asleep in his clothes, and who but I is to take his boots off so they don’t get the sheets dirty? If the chalk on his fingers or the dust from the chiseling on his hair won’t already. Bam is far cleaner…”

Jungkook had a workshop he barely set foot in, preferred his team made use of it instead to not be bothered by their idiocy. His words. So it was in a chamber on the ground floor of this house he gave way to artistic insanity. In your book, that meant constant cleaning.

Jimin looked at you fondly. “Sounds nightmarish.”

“It truly is!”

As soon as the two of you entered the dining hall, Bam ran from Jungkook’s side by the fireplace to Jimin, who was as excited to see him.

“Good night, maes–”

“Do you think I’m deaf, ungrateful brat?” Jungkook interrupted him to bark at you. “Rome is full of people begging to get a piece of me, so if you don’t like it here, I’ll just get someone else!”

“You say that and yet keep me like a prisoner!”

“As if you don’t have it better here than anywhere you’ve burdened with your presence before!”

“There, there…” Jimin interjected to de-escalate, kneeling to better stroke Bam. “Maestro, I’ve seen your latest sketch of the Virgin and Child. She resembles Y/N.”

Both you and Jungkook failed to fight off the embarrassment, gazes unable to find a place to settle. Sitting down on the large table, he explained, “It was just one time… I had used Yoongi as a model, but the Madonna looked too masculine... and rather than going through the trouble of finding some girl and hiring her, I had Y/N pose for me… So what! Why bring it up out of nowhere…”

“Because maybe you just need a bit of distance from time to time. With permission, I too would have Y/N pose for m–”

“Absolutely not.”

“Now, why the hell not?” you groaned stamping your foot, startling poor Bam. Hope had been born inside you in a second and cruelly crushed in the next.

“Because I say so. And watch your tone with me.” As usual, the mutual glaring would trick anyone into thinking the next step would be murder. Jimin, who knelt there awkwardly, certainly thought so, at least until the bell rang. “Now go answer the door!”

What happened later, though, rendered the fury Jungkook had evoked in your heart nonexistent and instead seized the thing in a clasp of distress.

In the morning, he walked in when you were sweeping the kitchen. At once you forced the sobs to stop and turned around so he wouldn’t see you wipe your tears.

“It’s past nine, where’s breakfast?” he asked in shock that you hadn’t even started making it, the table there empty.

You swore under your breath before leaving the broomstick leaning against the nearest wall, flushed face kept out of Jungkook’s sight, then in a haste fetched a plate, a knife, and a leftover bread loaf. “Apologies, master, I forgot. I’ll be upstairs in a minute.”

Sniffling betrayed you, at which Jungkook frowned. “Are you crying?”

Great, the question just about especially designed to make one well up. Not trusting your voice anymore, you shook your head. Jungkook approached, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from the task at hand, now cutting a few slices of the bread.

“Have you broken something?” You shook your head again, the suppressed sobs making your chin tremble. Jungkook took a deep breath before asking with a surprisingly soothing tone, “Then what’s wrong?”

“You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

Within an hour, he’d summoned a meeting consisting of all who’d attended dinner the previous night.

A seemingly calm Jungkook was sat at the head of the table, elbows sunk on it and fingers interlocked. You stood behind him, head still low out of shame. A tense silence had fallen in the chamber some time ago, and sick of it, Jimin shattered it.

“Have you anything to tell us, maestro?”

“I was waiting for Biagio to do so.”

The man was one of Jungkook’s favourite assistants who had worked with him for years, even longer than Jimin. And if it was possible for your position to be trickier, he belonged to some noble family.

“Me? But I’ve nothing to say, maestro.”

Jungkook leaned back in his chair. “My servant will, then. Y/N?”

Bastard. If you are going to fire me, why make me go through this?

“Last night, w-when I left this hall to go refill the wine jug… Messer Biagio followed me into the kitchen, and… h-he trapped me from behind, and started t-to touch me…” Your vision soon blurred, hence why you couldn’t see clearly how concerned Jimin was for you, or how Biagio jumped up in outrage. “I managed to push him away, and ran upst–”

“How dare you slander me, wench? Maestro, you do not believe this!”

“Do I not?”

“She’s lying! I caught her stealing sketches from your study, likely to sell them, so she’s trying to get rid of me!”

You almost scoffed. Only an idiot would choose the one occasion guests had come over and her absence would be noticed to carry out a theft.

Jungkook tilted his head. “I thought you had nothing to say. Why would you keep such a thing just now?”

Biagio gulped. “I deemed it best to mention it later, in private... You won’t believe a pickpocket before an old friend, will you?”

Silence returned, your breath still as you saw all the assistants and apprentices visibly take pity on him. The only one who didn’t was Jimin, but even on his face there was a hint of hesitation. Jungkook’s, you couldn’t see from behind, but after an eternity he stood up and walked over only to put a hand on the shoulder of Biagio, who smiled in relief.

A quiet sob broke through your lips, heart sinking. You’d needed Jungkook to believe you in this. Not because of the consequences his protection as your master could save you from, but because, like it or not… he was the closest thing to family you had.

It turned out he did believe you, judging by the punch landed on Biagio’s jaw out of nowhere. And the next one on his cheekbone, and on his nose. Before everyone around the table had barely stood up to stop Jungkook, he’d already thrown Biagio down and straddled him, pulling his doublet’s collar in a close, tight grip as he continued beating him up. Blood was drawn, but for once, you didn’t mind having to scrub it later.

Jungkook’s influence trumped a whole noble house’s, you learned in the course of the months Biagio tried his mightiest and failed most miserably to have him arrested. Perhaps because of the Pope sitting on his shoulder.

That he’d taken your side was still hard to believe, all he’d grumbled with a shrug when you thanked him while tending to his wounds from the fight being, “I’d been waiting for the chance. I always thought Biagio was a weasel.”

With the matter resolved, life returned to normal—well, whatever that meant in Jeon Jungkook’s household. Because calling for you at the top of his lungs like a madman was not normal. The first time he’d done it you’d raced downstairs, afraid something horrible had happened, only for him to have you close a window as it was getting chilly. Devil rot him. You rushed no longer after that, much to his complaints.

Today, he didn’t notice right away when you appeared under the cased opening, and good thing he didn’t, for he was polishing a bust with sandpaper… shirtless.

Product of hours carving stone into his desired shape or occasionally beating someone up, he could brag of having muscles, which the current task had covered in a layer of sweat and dust. The way they flexed with each movement had you compelled, wanting to reach out, feel if his skin was as hot as the blood pumping through your veins faster and faster. Then your gaze moved to the bust and whatever spell you were under broke.

Hardly an angel was that widowed noblewoman, whom you wished had stayed trapped inside a block of marble. Her name was Madonna Maddalena, and she’d come some weeks past to make a commission covered in pearls, gold, and boldness.

“My friends refused to accompany me today. You’re said to be… disagreeable, which I’m sure is untrue. However, all of them do want to know if you’re as fine-looking as is also rumoured, maestro” she told Jungkook within minutes of meeting him, still by the entrance!

Now you can tell them he’s not, you bit your tongue before it remarked, as this wasn’t Jimin but a patron not to be scared away by your bickering. It wouldn’t be true anyway. All your master lacked in manners, he made up for with looks… Which you’d never say out loud. You’d never say either that he looked even better when irked.

“I’ve heard many rumours about myself, most of them nonsense. My appearance was involved in none.”

She smiled seductively. “I suppose I’ll have to be the one to spread them.”

“The weather is pleasant today,” Jungkook changed the subject, flustered beneath the formal demeanour. “Shall we have wine in the garden?” You left to prepare it not before catching Maddalena raise her brow at you in disapproval. She must’ve been able to tell you thought she was a pompous cunt.

The beautiful flowers you cared for tried their best outside, but the air didn’t get any better.

Sat around a small table, Maddalena explained she wanted a bust of herself by his talented hand to decorate the main hall of her palazzo. You served them wine, not really listening until Jungkook started playing hard to get. The hundred times you’d told him it wasn’t a good tactic to make his labour out to be too prestigious had apparently fallen on deaf ears.

“Any other artist could carry this out, Madonna. I am working for the Pope these days…” he subtly scolded her, a mere mortal, for wasting his precious time. And he wondered why he had a reputation for being arrogant.

Maddalena put his thoughts into plain words, “So why should you stoop to taking commissions from an insignificant widow?”

“Correct,” you said under your breath, luckily heard by none from the background, where you stood holding a wine jug until the madonna raised her cup and you approached to refill it.

“It is then fortunate I’m to marry a nephew of the Pope’s.”

Swayed by her future influence, Jungkook smiled back. “So it is.”

“But not for another week. ‘Till then, I belong to no man.” The suggestion in her tone almost drove you to spill wine all over her. No, better yet: order Bam to sic on her. He’d do it.

Just, who did this woman think she was? And why did Jungkook not kick her out right afterwards? It made you wonder whether he’d enjoyed the flirtation. Whether he would’ve been the one to take things further had his inconvenient servant not been present. It was common for men to have affairs and lovers, but it didn’t sit well with you that Jungkook might. Not that you ever imagined him doing any of that, for goodness’ sake–

“What took you so long?”

Jungkook’s voice brought you back to the present, under the cased opening.

“I was lazing about, as always,” you quoted his favourite false reprimand, making him roll his eyes, your own dropping to the floor when he walked closer.

“In that case, prepare a bath for me.”

“Yes, master.”

You sighed at all the work ahead. That being a servant was worlds better than living in the streets didn’t mean you looked forward to collecting gallons of water from a well, carrying them back, heating them, transferring them to a tub, then washing Jungkook—because you did wash him.

Biagio had hurt his left shoulder bad and ever since, he’d needed assistance in certain activities. Curious how he could otherwise chisel a goddamned bust without problem.

Jungkook’s full nudity only made you blush if you stopped scrubbing, so knelt with tucked up sleeves before the wooden tub he was reclined on, scrubbing away the dirt on his skin with lavender-scented soap you were. Maybe all the stupid feelings you’d been suffering lately stemmed from there…

Head resting on the edge, he was exhausted from the long day of work, taking your rubbing as a relaxing massage. You, however, couldn’t ignore the stinging guilt, what with the scar on his shoulder right in front of your face. He probably felt your breathing on it.

“I’m sorry you got hurt…”

Jungkook fought heavy lids only to see you avoid him. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of him was embarrassing, as when he’d caught you crying, but he didn’t take advantage of the fact to humiliate you. Jungkook may be an ogre, but he wasn’t cruel.

“I’ve received worse for less,” he assured you in a calm, low voice. It sounded soothing to your ears.

“That, I don’t doubt,” you scoffed, glancing at his other scar on the cheek. “Did you also get that one in defence of some lady?”

“You’re nowhere close to a lady.” It could be done, you mused. Drowning him. “This was courtesy of my brother.”

“You have a brother?” It dawned on you how little you knew of him. Surely, most had heard it all about the divine Jeon Jungkook, but you’d never cared enough to learn past the shell of gossip, even after months of living with him. In fairness, he’d never asked about you either. You preferred it that way.

“Brothers,” he corrected you. “The one who did this to me was a wayward fool. Had to teach him a lesson.”

“Looks like he taught one to you.”

“I left with a scratch, he with a limp.” The conception of two brothers hurting each other so harshly widened your eyes for a second, and Jungkook noticed, for he added, “He was whoring around, wasting the money I worked hard to send, bullying our other brothers as well.”

Much made sense about Jungkook all of a sudden. Not his personality, that was incomprehensible. But why he killed himself to earn money and yet barely spent it… He had a family to provide for. Once again, you were reminded of his metaphor. Could an angel be in there?

Carrying on washing Jungkook, you dragged the sponge over to his neck. Then his collarbones, his chest, his abs just peaking above the water... They did look like a sculpture’s, especially wet and soaped, reminiscent of polished marble when the light of the torches reflected on them. Swallowing hard, the back of your fingers gingerly graced Jungkook’s muscles, both soft and firm. Slippery. Whatever possessed you to keep feeling them, you lacked the will to expel from your body, and so without realising your grip on the sponge loosened until it fell to float away, fingertips now free to roam over his abs.

You were slowly trailing downwards, past the water’s surface, when your wrist was seized and held in the air in a warning manner, the startle almost making you scream.

Sat upright, Jungkook was glaring at you so fiercely you feared for your life. But he didn’t say anything and instead just breathed hard, jaw clenched… almost as if he was holding back. Your rising heartbeat was deafening in the silence waiting for something to happen, anything, but what did wasn’t what a side of you anticipated with excitement.

Jungkook just let go of your wrist and returned to his previous position, and you got hold of the sponge and finished washing him, albeit holding your breath the entire time.

Days later, you came dangerously close to being fired.

The Pope had summoned Jungkook—something about a portrait commission—and you were to carry his bag filled with sketches for him due to his shoulder injury. As you navigated the ever-busy streets of Rome with him, the cold autumn breeze made you regret not putting on an overgown. The cioppa you’d bought with your own salary and not stolen. It brought a smile to your lips that faded at the realisation your mother would’ve reminded you to put it on before going out.

The sorrow pestering you turned to confusion when Jungkook stopped walking and tsked, telling you loud enough to be heard by all, “Look at him, the chief of police, with such an assemblage.”

A well-dressed man and what appeared to be his entourage walked in your direction, halting near enough. You didn’t have to ask to know this was his rival, the renowned painter Kim Taehyung.

“Whereas you, like an executioner, walk alone,” he mocked Jungkook, then noticed you standing behind him like a timid child. “Not completely, my mistake. Maestro, where in your barren soil did you plant such a flower?” He walked over to you, intentionally bumping Jungkook’s wounded shoulder as he passed, causing him to grunt lowly. From up close one was bound to marvel at how handsome Taehyung was, but you didn’t need proximity to tell he was a prick. Miles away, you would’ve known. “Why don’t you come work for me, flower? I’ll make you my muse.”

Jungkook scoffed again, “What, for your horseshit paintings? She’d be a fool to.”

Taehyung turned around to face him, feigning confusion with a smile. “But, maestro, how could they be so if you were once heard saying that all I have in art, I got from you?”

"You naturally have to resort to plagiarising my master’s genius if all you do is horseshit,” you countered, earning surprised looks from every man present, some laughs too, you were proud to say. Jungkook was certainly smirking. Taehyung opened his mouth, but you walked past him uninterested before a response came out of it.

“Good girl,” Jungkook laughed while leaving the crime scene, and for some reason your cheeks burned hot.

The incident happened once inside the Vatican.

Its grandiose corridors alone made you feel small, too unimportant to walk them, whereas Jungkook did so with determination, knowing he belonged at the top of the world. What with your tempestuous relationship, it was easy to forget he was famous throughout Europe. His feet would still never be kissed by you. Someone had to humble the man, right?

At some point the two of you arrived at a door flanked by guards, and averse, you grabbed the sleeve of Jungkook’s doublet.

“Do I have to go in?”

“Too good for the Pope, are you?” He shook you off. “Come on.”

“Damn you…” you muttered.

“What did you just say to me?”

“After you, master.”

Telling himself he’d be late if he scolded you, Jungkook turned and nodded at the guards, who opened the door of a chamber whose walls were frescoed with angels and saints, likely by Taehyung, giving off the impression one was in Heaven. When you saw him sat on a golden chair, old and grey, enjoying the tune of a lute player, you felt as though you’d just entered Hell.

The audience lasted for ever. While you stood by the door, Jungkook showed the Pope some sketches of the portrait for him to choose his favourite and then they talked and talked of politics. All you could do was fix your gaze somewhere on the floor and sigh.

“Yes, Your Holiness, this is the servant I mentioned…” A frown proceeded your looking up to see Jungkook somewhat embarrassed, scratching his nose as if to hide his face. He talked of you to others? Doubtless to complain…

With a sweet voice as if he was talking to a little girl, the Pope asked you, “What is your name?”

“None of your business, Your Holiness.”

The musician’s tune ceased abruptly, allowing Jungkook’s faint gasp to be heard. Then fell a short silence spent by the Pope blinking, taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me.”

Jungkook was quick to fake a laugh, though sweat formed at his temples. “A jest! She meant no offence, Your Holiness, but to make you laugh.”

You held the Pope’s glare in defiance, indifferent to the fact he was the most powerful man in the whole of Christendom.

By some miracle, he let it go, and you left that chamber minutes later with your head as yet attached to your body. Your arm wouldn’t be for much longer, though, given Jungkook was forcibly dragging you all the way out to the streets, pushing you into the first alley he saw.

“Are you out of your mind?!” he shouted, towering over you menacingly. Unlike the day you’d met, you weren’t scared, rather furious as him as you stood your ground. “That was the Pope, you fool!”

“So?”

Jungkook was in utter disbelief. “He could’ve ordered your execution– mine too!”

“Well, nothing happened!”

“Nothing?! I’m sure to fall out of favour!” He paced around, anxiety quickening his breath. “Years of pouring my soul into my craft, of grovelling before the right people, all thrown away! Good God, your attitude may cost me everything…”

“And what about me?! Everything lost to me does not matter?!”

Jungkook stopped to frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”

It was now you who walked up to him. “I didn’t have a job, or a reputation, or admirers. I had only a family, and I never wished for anything else! That monster you work for took them from me. When the foreigners’ armies came and everyone rushed to Castel Sant’Angelo, he gave the order to close the gates as soon as he was safe behind them! You must have been there with him, weren’t you? Well, we weren’t. We were left outside to be slaughtered. And I wish I had been, like my parents, so I didn’t have to suffer the likes of you any longer!”

Tears were streaming down your face by the end, Jungkook just staring back at you. It didn’t surprise him that your parents were dead or that they’d been killed during the Sack, but that it was so deep a wound left festering in your heart that you didn’t mind being put out of misery. He surmised your disrespectful behaviour towards him was also fruit of your pain, especially if you deemed him an ally of the one who caused it.

“The few things I own… They’re wasted on me. Throw them away or give them to your next servant,” you sobbed, taking for granted you were fired. Anyone with half a brain would indeed have you dismissed, and part of you knew it was bound to happen, that you would go back to breaking in fucking churches to spend the night.

So you turned around into the main street, set on wandering until your legs became too sore not to collapse. With any luck, a carriage would run over you. But warmth then surrounded your hand, and you looked down to see Jungkook’s holding it tight enough to force you to halt. Though still mad, a hint of compassion sparkled in his eyes.

“Let’s… Let us just go home.”

Home. His house had felt so for a while now, truth be told. Himself too.

After that, you non-verbally agreed on a ceasefire—avoiding quarrels, that is, which was quite the task for both.

Such as now that Jungkook had you inking down a letter in his name. First of all, did you look like a scribe? If you’d known in advance the lazy arse would teach you to read and write for this, you’d have chosen to remain illiterate. And second, this was your short break before making dinner, intended to be spent playing with Bam. The poor thing was also in the study, at least being stroked by his owner, who was sat beside you on the desk.

“… I send you my regards, may God keep you from all harm. Jeon Jungkook in Rome,” he finally finished dictating, and you recording. “Give it to me, I’ll seal it.”

He was melting the wax with which to do so when the bell rang, to his surprise. Sighing, you stood up and went to open the door to whom turned out to be Jimin. The sight of him brightened you up, and yours stretched his lips into a smile.

“Evening, Y/N.”

“Good evening! I didn’t know the master was expecting you.”

“He isn’t…” You welcomed him in, brows joining at how he continuously chewed on his aforementioned lip and breathed deep through his nose as he followed you. Had something happened…? A decision to eavesdrop was made en route to the study.

Though Jimin requested for you to stay once there, and nothing could have prepared you for the reason why.

“This actually concerns Y/N…” You and Jungkook exchanged confused looks, him leaning against the desk and crossing arms as though he didn’t like the sound of that. Jimin fixed his already perfect clothes before addressing him, “I’ve come to ask for her hand in marriage.” Your jaw dropped. “I know it’s sudden at the lack of previous courtship, but I thought I should ask for your permission before engaging in it, maestro. She’s a lovely girl… and I think she’d be happy as my wife. Worry not, I won’t ask for a dowry or for her to stop working… Although on second thought, fewer hours of service would be ideal.”

This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be happening.

Jungkook must be thinking the same, for he squinted to ask, “Are you drunk?”

“N-No, of course not.”

“Are you sure? You want to marry a servant with little to her name.” He had a point, so you weren’t offended. If politics weren’t the reason for a union, did this mean… Jimin had feelings for you?

“Maestro, you say it as if I were a lord,” he chuckled. “I don’t care about Y/N’s possessions, I’ll provide for her anyway. I’ve… always been fond of her. And I dare say she shares the sentiment.”

Betrayal hid safely behind a look that asked if there was any truth to that. Obviously not! There was no romance in your own fondness for Jimin. If anything, you had thought he saw you as a younger sister to look after, therefore as a protective older brother you saw him. But so shocked were you still that no words managed to come out, and Jungkook’s gaze shifted back to Jimin.

“I’ll think about it. You may go.”

A curt tone was the norm for Jungkook, it was not being granted his blessing that disappointed Jimin. He knew for a fact he was an honourable man, so why wouldn't he entrust you to him?

“Quite well… I’ll show myself out.” he uttered, before making his leave failing to hide his low spirit by giving you one last shy smile you hadn’t the heart to return.

An awkward silence filled the air that even Bam daren’t break. Only once the front door was heard shutting did you walk closer to Jungkook.

“You won’t agree to this, will you?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I have to get rid of you at some point.”

“Rid of me? Like I’m a burden?” you asked, voice rising. How a servant could be so was unknown to you until, like wooden ship toys did when you’d submerge them in a bucket of water as a child, certain guesses surfaced in your thoughts. Trying to pickpocket him, the constant clashing, Biagio, that bath, the Pope… Yes, you may perhaps be described as a burden. But you didn’t want to leave. With a calmer tone, you pleaded, “I’ll behave from now on. I won’t cause any more trouble, I swear.”

Jungkook didn’t deign to look your way as he left, followed by Bam. “You have to marry at some point, Y/N. Otherwise people will gossip.”

Since when did he care about what people said of him? And why should you?

Winter having dropped its anchor, nightfall arrived early. Not early enough, you brooded as you cooked dinner, longing for the day to end once and for all. With any hope, all of this was a nightmare and upon waking up in the morning life would go back to normal. You didn’t even know why you wanted to stay with Jungkook, as the occasions in which you’d begged Jimin to employ you to leave this house were countless. The only certain thing was that you were upset.

Later, after washing all plates and cups, you began to put off all torches lighting the house, finding out in the hall that Jungkook hadn’t moved from the seat he’d dined in. You considered carrying on with your job and leaving him in the dark, but he wouldn’t find it as funny. Instead, you stood before him.

“Will that be all, master?”

The coldness in your expression made him sigh, “Y/N–”

“I shall retire, then.” You turned to leave but were made to stop in your tracks.

“It’s an advantageous proposal for you,” he lectured to whom he must believe an idiot. “Jimin works for me, he’s wealthy. A better match than you could ever aspire to. And he asks for no dowry because he doesn’t want money, he wants you…” His words were tainted with resentment. “He’ll take good care of you.”

Skirt of your dress swirling along, you faked a smile. “If you think so, master, then it must be so.”

He shook his head as he leaned back in defeat. “Suit yourself, but I won’t be the one to reject Jimin. You crush his heart.”

A laugh escaped you. “If you genuinely cared about him, you wouldn’t let him marry a woman in love with–” Oh no. It only hit you as you were saying it.

Jungkook had appeared annoyed, but now he was mad. “Who?” He stood up abruptly—chair’s feet scratching against the floor making you wince—and walked so close you were backed against the wall, face forced to turn to a side. In a low, deep voice, he repeated, less as a question and more as an order this time, “Who.”

There was no way in the nine circles of Hell you’d say it, when you didn’t want to believe it in the first place. For fuck’s sake, why? Jungkook only ever made you want to get away from him. That was the case right now, but then… why were your feet frozen?

Some unreasonable part of you seemed to have prevailed upon the others, casting away all resistance from your body and allowing yourself to indulge in Jungkook’s proximity. You met his eyes without fear, held his dark gaze. It didn’t take him long to work it out, yet he kept close, so close your unsteady breaths mingled, the effect akin to intoxication. He was visibly trying to hold back, telling himself it’d be a bad idea, but you prayed he wouldn’t care.

By God or the Devil, your prayers were heard.

Jungkook finally smashed his lips into yours, devouring them with a hunger you shared and felt growing as he gripped your waist to press you against him. A minute ago, you wouldn’t have imagined his tongue belonged inside your mouth, swirling around your own, and now you wanted it all over your body. As if reading your mind, Jungkook broke the ardent kiss to move down to your neck, which he licked painfully slowly before sucking hard, making you hiss with pleasure. He knew that would leave a mark, the bastard. You wondered if it was meant for Jimin, so he’d see you were Jungkook’s, and in such case you didn’t mind, let your eyelids close to enjoy it.

Steered by the lust possessing you, one hand grabbed his soft hair in a fistful, keeping his head in place where he was sweetly abusing your neck, while the other travelled southwards until it reached his crotch and held it over the trousers, feeling his cock stiffen. Jungkook groaned—a vibration to your skin—in retaliation lifting your skirt. You’d thought he'd take his time, tease you, but after ensuring you were wet enough by gliding his middle finger along your core, he slid it inside and began making beckoning motions.

“Master…” you moaned, legs shaking. Jungkook forsook your neck to pull back, watch how you struggled to keep it together as he added another finger, curling and uncurling them both, hitting all the right places, and unwilling to give him that satisfaction without consequences you groped his erection with the same vigour. Although he was in good control of his expression, his breath quivered against your lips, so he kissed them again, biting hard into your lower one.

He exhaled, “You’re driving me to sin…”

Indeed, the same fingers that held the brushes when he painted religious artwork were buried deep inside your cunt, bringing you the most sinful ecstasy. It made you chuckle. Jungkook took that as the mockery it was and, crossed, pulled his fingers out of you to drag you by the arm to the edge of the table, where he had you sit. Without delay he lifted your skirt again, only this time he also pulled down his trousers to reveal his cock, thick and throbbing, which he pumped as he watched you spread your legs eagerly, ready to take all of him.

With his free hand Jungkook cupped your cheek, thumb caressing your lower lip, coated with saliva and reddened still from when he’d bit it. He could sense your desire, that you craved him inside, had for a while. Desperately. And however much tempted he was to make you beg for it, his own arousal led his cock to your entrance and eased it inside already, another groan hitting the back of his bared teeth. You didn’t have time to gasp, his thrusts so quick they earned only moans, so wonderful did it feel.

Jungkook’s hand on your cheek then wrapped around your neck. “Do you know how often I’ve fantasised strangling you?”

You chuckled again as you slapped him across the face. Jungkook halted his movements in shock, glared at you. “And I slapping you?”

It took him a moment, but he scoffed and pushed you back so that you were lying down, climbing next atop you, confident that the wooden table was sturdy enough to hold both. So legs hooked around his torso and arms around his neck, you welcomed his thrusts, rough enough to make your eyes water. But it felt heavenly, how he ravished you... The mutual irritation and tension building up for over half a year translated into indescribable pleasure.

He kissed you again, flicking his tongue against yours as he pounded into you without mercy. Overwhelmed by the sensation, all you could do to express you were nearing your limit was sink your nails into Jungkook’s biceps at each side of you, moan inside his mouth. He took the hint and fucked you as fast as his body would allow, within mere seconds your walls clenching tight around him. The sight of you collapsing under him, overcome with bliss, made him reach his own highest shortly, spurting his warm seed inside you.

As his movements gradually ceased, so did your panting. Before a complete silence fell, you asked, “Am I still to marry Jimin?”

Jungkook grabbed your face and growled against your pouted lips, “You’re not going anywhere.”

Tides of Regret by lee heeseung | (m)

♫ song : swim by chase atlantic

pairing : fwb!heeseung x reader + zb1 sung hanbin x reader

summary : being magnetically attracted to frat boy lee heeseung was a bad mistake. but, agreeing to be friends with benefits with him was an even worse one. getting caught in a relentless, toxic cycle together leads to facing the consequences of your choices with a grand moment of truth. will you be able to break free from the destructive tide, or will you remain trapped in the undertow of toxic love?

warnings : squirting lol, daddy kink, slapping, choking + more :D

word count : 22.5k

part of the enhypen playlist series

taglist : @ipoststuffandyeah @ariadores @ramenoil @fluerz @skzenhalove @kgneptun

If there was one thing that you liked to do, it was party. You liked dancing, listening to, most of the time, shit music and hanging out with your friends. A good, any kind of party could always lift your mood. But, if there was one party you’d always try to avoid– it was frat parties. Especially the ones that were hosted at Lee Heeseung’s so-called notorious fraternity house. 

Lee Heeseung and the rest of the frat he belonged to were the embodiment of the classic frayboy archetype. And they didn’t have the best reputation. They were the self-proclaimed rulers of campus who liked to party way too much and break many hearts, especially the hearts of freshmen’s. 

So, you were understandably less than thrilled when Dayeon and Shana insisted we pay a visit to their den of debauchery this Friday night. 

Everyone who belonged in the frat were bad, but Lee Heeseung was definitely the most popular and the worst. He was all you heard about during the your freshmen year as all your friends were trying, or had hooked up with him. Now during your junior year, you hear about a new Lee Heeseung escapade at least once a week from either your friend, or overhearing it from some crying freshman in the library. 

Heeseung did not care about or who he hooked up with. As long as they were alive and had tits, he was into it. And although he had a long reputation about being a womanizer, he also had a reputation of being amazing at sex. 

Mixed along with all the broken-hearted-tears shed, there were constant rumours being spread about how easily he could make a girl cum. Which is a rare occurence with college frat boys. But everyone knew, that if you wanted to cum, go to Lee Heeseung. 

He intrigued you during the first half of your freshman year, the idea that a sophomore could make any girl cum. You fed into the rumours about his sex life, and all the kinks the fratboy allegedly took fancy of. One of those kinks being a daddy kink. Yes, a cliche one, but now, three years later, and it seems to be the only kink of his that everyone is aware of. Even your wide-eyed, almost innocent freshman friends come up to you and ask if it is true that the senior, Lee Heeseung has a daddy kink. 

You don’t know if it’s true, and you don’t want to know. You make an effort to stay away from the frat house of womanizing, except for tonight. 

“Y/n, you’ve gotta give this party a chance,” Dayeon says when she hears you sigh from your bed again. “I heard they’ve got an actual, killer DJ lined up for tonight!” 

You roll your eyes at your friend’s attempt to persuade you to want to enjoy the frat party tonight. “I don’t care about the DJ.” 

“Right, you just care about the guys who hired the DJ.” Shana smirks from her reflection in the mirror as she finishes her makeup. 

You roll over onto your stomach to look at your friend in the mirror, “I do not care about those awful frat boys, I care about the drama that seems to always follow them around. Drama, that is just not worth it.” 

Shana rolls her eyes playfully, starting to fix her black hair for the night. 

“Don’t be such a party pooper,” Dayeon nudges your leg with hers, “We’ll stick together, and if Heeseung or any of the other frat guys try anything, I’ll smack them with my feminism 101 textbook.” 

You chuckle, appreciating Dayeon, “Fine, I’ll go and attempt to have fun. But if Heeseung or any of his minions come near me, I’m unleashing you, D.” 

With a grin, Dayeon jumps ontop of you, squeezing you into a bone-crushing hug. “Deal, this is gonna be a night to remember!” 

The three of you show up the Enha Tau fraternity house, you already wanted to leave. Of course, it was the loudest house on the block, with the music and cheers being able to be heard from streets away. The root of the cheap beer and sweat scent seemed to be in this house. 

The house was a sprawling two-story structure with large windows that flashing, neon lights were shooting out of and filling up the street and sky. The laughter and cheers that were coming from inside signaled that the party was in full swing. 

Shana oozed femininity in her pretty black dress that showcased her hourglass figure and matched her big doe eyes and full lips. Dayeon was dressed to make a statement like usual, her aura was one to not be fucked with as she was fierce and independent. You were sandwiched between them, feeling out of place in your oversized white blouse and black skirt, in the freezing night air. Together, you walked into the house, each one of your with very contrasting styles that reflected your contrasting personalities. 

An hour into the party, and the three of you have gotten immediately swept up in the lively atmosphere. Music throbbed through the overly crowded rooms, and the air was thick of alcohol, sweat and shit cologne. You tried your best to enjoy yourself, as you sipped on some wannabe fruity, vodka-laden drink. 

You were leaned against the fake fireplace wall, taking occasional sips of the drink. This was a far cry from what you were usually like at a party. But despite the energetic scene around you, you couldn’t shake the persistent feeling that something was off about this party. The laughter and chatter blurred into an annoying symphony, and even the faux warmth of the fireplace couldn’t calm your chilled nerves. You knew that the only thing you wanted right now was the comfort of your own bed, but you couldn’t ditch Shana and Dayeon this early. So, you opted to stay at the wall and keep an eye out for them. 

Shana was the center of attention as always as she was surrounded by her giggly, cheerleading friends. Their faces painted with excitement as they vied for her attention. You watched as a cluster of guys were slowly, but surely making their way towards them to strike up a conversation. Which you knew would be useless since Shana would turn all of them done with her unmatched grace. 

Dayeon was not that far away from Shana in the living room, engaging in some passionate conversation with a group fo people you didn’t recognize. But you were sure that one of them was Sung Hanbin, staring at Dayeon with a smirk that you didn’t understand. This wasn’t his frat, so you wondered why he was here and not at his own frat’s party. You lost interest in watching him engage with Dayeon’s group when he looked over and winked right at you. 

You start to move away from Hanbin’s eyes and head to the kitchen to find something else than that colourful, awful fruit drink. The more you moved to the kitchen, the more the music and laughter muffled, creating a temporary reprieve from the chaos. The kitchen was swarmed with intoxicated college students, their voices slurring with their laughter as they looked for their next alcoholic drink. You stood near the table against the kitchen’s doorway, waiting for your turn and scanning the drink options from a far to find something more to your taste. 

You mentally decide on whatever the orange liquid is in the bowl that the drunk people seem to be getting more and more of, when a voice pierced through their slurred conversation, catching your attention. 

“What the fuck, get that asshole out of here, I do not want Hanbin here.” 

You’re about to turn your head to see the source of the confrontation, but your curiosity is cut short when a sudden, frigid splash of that wannabe fruit, vodka dense drink engulfs you. Your entire blouse drenched with liquid and the white fabric replaced with colour. Some laughter erupted from the drunk, kitchen bystanders, but you didn’t pay them any attention, instead you focused on the figure standing before you. 

In the dimly lit kitchen, it only took you a second to recognize your shirt’s perpetrator as Lee Heeseung. The notorious frat president that you had been hoping to avoid all night, now stood inches before you. His now empty cup, slowly dripped the remnants of vodka and his smug expression held a hint of mockery and shock as he looked down at you. 

You were stunned and unable to conceal your irritation as you locked eyes with Heeseung, who could only stare at your shirt. When you look down at the damage, your irritation fades to embarrassment as your pink lacey bra is on full sight as your white blouse is now see through from the drink. 

“Fuck.” you gasp, your arms coming up to cover your chest. Heeseung’s amused smirk remained as he surveyed the mess he had created, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he looks at your face of horror. “This isn’t funny, Heeseung.”

“Aw, c’mon, it’s just a shirt,” he says, his tone light, “Besides, I think it looks better this way.” 

Your irritation and scowl grew bigger, “I can’t believe you just said that, fuck you.” 

Heeseung’s smirk doesn’t waver at your words, “Okay, okay, I get it. My bad,” he said, offering a shrug, “But don’t worry, I’ll give you a new shirt that you can borrow.”

His casual offer took you by surprise in your current, evident discomfort, “Fine.”

Heeseung smiled, his eyes dancing with mischief, “Okay, come upstairs with me to get one.” 

You hesitated for a moment before saying, “No!” 

Heeseung quirked an eyebrow up at you, “What? You wanna change in the kitchen?” 

You roll your eyes, “Fine, I'll come upstairs, but I’m not having sex with you.” 

Heeseung laughs heartily, “Relax, we’re just getting you a new shirt, right?” 

“Right.” 

As you make your way upstairs, you made note to not grab his hand like all the other people going upstairs together. Your steps are deliberate and your expression was a mix of annoyance and determination. You couldn’t quite put your finger on why you’d agreed to his offer except to avoid more humiliation. 

Heeseung’s room was a typical representation of a college frat boys living space, no surprises. It was chaos with clothes thrown across the floor, empty bottles every where and textbooks and papers spread all over what looks to be a desk. The posters of sport teams and bands was the only sense of familiarity in the room. 

As Heeseung rummaged through his drawers that barely closed, searching for a suitable shirt to give you, your eyes inadvertently landed on a pair of women’s underwear on the floor. You quickly averted your eyes, disgust filling you more as you took in your surrounding. 

With a shirt in hand, Heeseung turns toward you, who tells you to change in the bathroom that’s connected to his room. You close the door, leaving it slightly ajar as you turn away from it. You hear Heeseung sit on his bed as he waits for you. He has to physically force himself to look away from his bathroom door where he could see your reflection in the mirror, the hint of your stomach being shown as you start to lift your wet shirt off. He stares at his Red Sox poster instead. 

“You’re Angel, right?” his voice asked as you wipe the stickiness off of your chest. 

“Yeah,” you replied, your tone guarded. You glanced at his busy reflection in the mirror, moving to the side so you’re hidden away from his sight. 

“You’re friends with Shana and Dayeon, right?” he asked, his voice carrying a hint of recognition. 

You roll your eyes, your exasperation with the situation evident in your response, “Yeah, I am.” The connection to your vivacious friends was clearly the point of reference for him, something that only added to your frustration. 

When you come out of his bathroom, his shirt way too big for you and tucked into one side of your skirt, Heeseung feels light headed. He has never, ever given his clothes to a girl before, and he definitely didn’t think it would have this much of an effect on him. The way his shirt fits him perfectly, but has you swimming it makes his cock twitch, but he snaps back into reality and focuses on your scowl instead. 

“I’ll give you the shirt back next week,” you tell him with a serious tone as you make your way towards the bedroom door. 

“Nah, it’s fine, you can keep it.” he tells you with a shrug. 

“I do not want to keep your shirt, Heeseung.” you tell him with a tone of disgust. 

“Fine, fine, whatever.” Heeseung replies, he lets his back hit his mattress as his feet remain on the floor. 

You roll your eyes and continue to leave, stopping with your hand on the door handle with a sigh, “But, thanks, for letting me borrow it.” 

Heeseung sits up on his elbows, “No problem, sorry for ruining your other one.” 

Without another word, you open the door and leave. You pull out your phone and text your friends that you’re leaving in five minutes and to meet at the front door if they want to come with you. 

When you finally get to the front door through the large crowd of people, Shana and Dayeon are there waiting for you. 

Through her glazed eyes and slurred voice Shana asks, “Whose shirt is that?” 

“Don’t ask.” you reply briefly, trying to ignore Heeseung’s cologne, and head straight through the front door, ignoring Dayeon’s and Shana’s confused expressions as they follow you. 

You successfully dodged your friends questions about the shirt all weekend. And this morning you stuffed the shirt in your bag before they could see and headed straight to where you knew Heeseung and his friends usually hung out at school. 

Thankfully, you found him quickly so you wouldn’t have to worry about it for the rest of the day. He was standing against the wall, his backpack slung around one shoulder as he talked with his friends. His back was towards you so he didn’t see you coming, but one of his friends nodded towards you to get his attention. 

“Hey, Y/n,” Heeseung greets when he turns to see you. 

“Hey, here’s your shirt back,” you hand him his folded shirt. 

“Thanks, but you really could’ve kept it,” 

You want to reply that you’d never want another one of his shirts again but one of his friends, Choi Beomgyu you think, speaks up. 

“Ouu, did you and Heeseung have fun up in his room the other night.” Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrows with his words. 

Your eyes narrowed, your frustration bubbling up again, “No, we did not.” you snap at the group who all have teasing eyes. 

Another one, Song Eunseok pipes up with an exaggerated smirk, “Oh, come on Y/n. Heeseung’s not usually the type to hand out spare shirts.” 

Your anger flared up and you couldn’t take it anymore. “I don’t care what you think. You don’t know anything about what happened that night, so just shut up.” 

You turn on your heel and storm of, leaving Heeseung with a sense of guilt gnawing at him. He wanted to speak, to help you, but he couldn’t help but keep quiet amongst his friends. As you disappeared around the corner, his smile faltered, and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of remorse for the way his friends had teased you. 

Throughout the week, you had tried your best to bury the memories of Lee Heeseung, his friends and the frustration that came with them. You needed focus on your studies and yourself, but you could not get rid of the residual annoyance that seemed to cling to your mind. 

You had been looking forward to this weekend, anticipating an actual good party to help relieve your stress and temporarily escape the unease the had plagued you last weekend. On Friday evening, you and Dayeon had started getting ready to head over to your friends’ party. The whole time you knew your aim was to let loose and forget all complications of your college life. 

Just as you were finishing up, Dayeon’s phone rang. You watched her confusedly glance at the caller ID before she showed it you. 

Wonyoung

  Answer?

Wonyoung was on the cheerleading team with Shana and was friends with her, so you were confused as t why she would be called Dayeon. 

Dayeon answers with a quick, ‘Hello’, and you watch as her face contorts into concern as she continues to listen to the other line. When she hangs up she turns to you with a disappointed face. 

“What?” you ask her. 

“Shana’s really drunk, and she needs someone to come pick her up.” 

With a heavy sigh you nod, “Alright, let’s go get her. Where is she?” 

Dayeon nervously chuckles, “Uh, yeah, she’s uh, at Enha Tau.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Really? She has to be there, of all places?” Dayeon nods her head, “Let’s go get her, as quick as possible.” 

The two of you left your party plans behind, exchanging irritation and concern for their friend as they headed to the awful frat house. You couldn’t believe you were returning to the palace that had caused you so much annoyance, but you knew that Shana needed you. Friends come first, even if it meant dealing with Lee Heeseung. 

Dayeon and you both split up when you arrived at the large frat house, thinking that it would be faster to find your friend if you took different sides of the mansion. The house was filled with college students like the week before, all dancing, listening to music and drinking. You had to weave in and out of the crowed, while searching for a familiar head of black  hair. 

“Well, well, well, back for some more fun, Y/n?” a voice asks you as you head into the kitchen to look for Shana. 

You turn at the sound of your name and stop when you realize it’s Heeseung talking to you. “God, no. I’m just looking for Shana and then I’m leaving.”

Heeseung pouts as he looks around into the living room, “I haven’t seen her all night.” 

You scoff, “Thanks, see ya.” you turn on your heel, but his voice stops you again. 

“Y/n, wait,” he speaks, and when he sees that you do he continues, “Why’re you always so irritated with me?” 

His question takes you aback, your frustration simmering just beneath the surface, “Because I don’t want to be titled as another one of your whores.” you retort, your words laced with bitterness. 

It’s Heeseung’s turn to scoff as he juts out his hand and latches onto your arm, he ignores your complaints as he drags you over to a quiet hallway attached to the kitchen. He lets go of your arm when it’s silent, your back against the wall as he stands in front of you. 

“You can’t be seen with me without being called a whore?” 

“What?” you ask, “Don’t act like you aren’t aware of your whole fuckboy reputation.” 

Heeseung’s eyes hold amusement as they lock with your own, “Okay, I like to have sex, what’s wrong with that?” 

“N-nothing.” you stutter pathetically. 

Heeseung smirks and moves closer to you, “You won’t be called one of my whores Y/n, you’re so different from them.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, I could treat you so much better than any of them, if you’d let me.” Heeseung ducks his head down so it’s level with your own. His body is only inches away from you now, “Would you let me, Y/n?” 

You gulp as your thoughts start to race. Heeseung’s charm was undeniable as his smirk never wavered as he watched you take in his words. This seductive game he started was ending quick and he was winning. 

“Why would I let you if I could get fucked better by someone else?” your voice comes out softer than your words are and it makes Heeseung laugh. 

“No one could fuck you as good as me, Y/n, and you know that, you’ve heard that.” 

You roll your eyes at his cockiness, “Yeah, sure, and I’ve also heard about your daddy kink.” 

You can’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth, but Heeseung only bites his lip to hide his smile, “Yeah? And what about you, Y/n? Do you have a daddy kink?” 

You gulp again, confused on how you’ve even ended up in this situation so quickly. You know you should be looking for Shana but Lee Heeseung has you trapped against his body and the wall and your panties feel like they’re starting ot stick to your core. 

Your lack of a response makes Heeseung smirk, “C’mon Y/n, let me show you how good I can make you feel. Let me prove it to you.” 

Heeseung starts to move his head in closer, you can practically feel his lips ontop of yours, feel his warmth all over your front as your back feels the cool wall. You give in and move your up to meet his, but he moves his away, tsking at you. 

“Tell daddy that you’ll be a good girl and let him make you feel good. Tell him you want this.” 

His voice makes your knees buckle. The fact that he’s referring to himself as daddy makes you want to have him right here, right now in this closed off hallway. 

“I want you to make me feel good, I want this.” your voice comes out in a whisper as you confess to him. 

A harsh slap lands on your left thigh from his hand, making you yelp out. 

“Who do you want to make you feel good?” 

You gulp as you say, “Daddy.” 

Heeseung’s hand covers your throat as he speaks, “Good girl.” 

Heeseung smashes his lips onto yours. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions coursed through you. The kiss held so much desire, yet you knew you shouldn’t be doing it. But as your mouths moved in an intoxicating rhythm, a push and pull of  sexual attraction only made you want to continue. You lost yourself in the kiss, well aware of the potential consequences that can occur as you finally succumb to the charms of Lee Heeseung. 

Heeseung was quick to pull you up into his room that you were in for the first time last week. This time, as you walked up the stairs, you held his hand as you allowed him to lead you. 

Heeseung didn’t hesitate to lay you down on his bed, your back against his mattress and hair sprawled out across his white pillowcase. His hands roamed your sides as you continued to makeout. Your hands latched onto the hair of the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you. 

Though, he wasn’t so close for long as he pulled back, his lips wet and swollen that probably matched your own. 

“Are you sure you want this, Y/n?” he asks you as he looks into your eyes. 

“Yes, daddy.” it startles you for a second of how quick you are to respond. 

Heeseung bites his lips at your reply, but his tone is serious when he speaks, “No, really, you want this? Because, just tell me to stop and I will.” 

You let your hands drop from his shoulders and squeeze his hand that’s resting on your hip, “I want this, Heeseung, really.” 

Heeseung smiles softly at you, “Okay,” and he leans in to press a long, less lustful kiss onto your lips. When he pulls away, his usual smirk and devious gleam in his eyes are back, “Now be a good girl for daddy, yeah?’ 

“Yes, daddy.” you tell him, loving the affect you have on him everytime the word slips from your mouth. 

“Daddy wants to show you how good he can make you feel, show you no one else can make you feel as good as I can.” he speaks inbetween words as he presses kisses down your jaw and neck. “Think you can handle that?” 

“Please, daddy,” You begged, anticipating what you’ve only ever heard of from other people. Anticipating if Lee Heeseung was really as good as they say. And so far, you believed it. 

His warm hands started to pull down the thin straps of your dress, the fabric releasing and allowing your tits to be freed to his eyes. Your pink nipple perked up immediately as his index and thumb twisted around it. You let out a soft moan at the feeling, your hips bucking up into his from such a small movement. 

Heeseung chuckled as he spoke, “That feel good, already?” You nodded in response, wanting to feel more of it. Suddenly the twisting pleasure was removed by a sharp slap on your nipple instead, a gasp leaving your mouth as your back arched up. “Use your words, baby.” 

“Y-yes, daddy. That felt good, daddy,” you nodded up at him as your body ached for more of him. 

Heeseung hums against your other nipple in response. Sucking it into his mouth and circling it with his warm tongue. His hands pushed your dress lower down your body, leaving you bare except for your panties. 

Heeseung’s hands continue their descent as his fingers push your panties aside. He doesn’t hesitate ot slip his middle finger inbetween your wet folds. You whine, your fingers tightening their hold onto his sheets as he starts to find a pace to finger fuck you. 

“Fuck, who’re you so wet for baby, hm?” Heeseung asks you, his voice sultry as his eyes move from where his fingers diapppear inside of you to your face. 

“You daddy, so wet and messy just for you,” you tell him honestly. 

Heeseung obviously likes your response as he slips in his index finger as well. Both of his fingers start to work inside your mesh walls, finding your g spot so quickly. You let out a moan of pleasure and relief. You’ve never had a guy finger you so well before, usually you just have to fake it or deal with it until they’re bored. But, looking down at Heeseung, he genuinely looks like he loves fingering you. He’s so obviously paying attention to what makes you moan and squirm, and god, he’s already gotten you so close to the edge. 

“You can cum for me, baby.” Heeseung reads your mind, your body. His lips press deep kisses onto your lower abdomen, biting and sucking the area as his fingers don’t slow down their pace. “Cum all over my fingers, show me what a good girl you can be for daddy.” 

With the final referral of himself as daddy, your body is sent into a climax you oh, so needed. Your body arched upwards off of his mattress, your fingers twist in his sheets as you try to ground yourself as the pleasure takes over you. You could hear Heeseung encouraging you, praising you in a blur of your climax. 

When you came down, panting and shocked that a man could make you cum so fast and good on hisi fingers, Heeseung could only laugh into your skin. You let him slip of your soaked panties as you tried to calm your breathing. 

“Didn’t I tell you I could make you feel good, why do you look so shocked?” Heeseung asks you, spreading your legs so your wet core is open to his eyes. 

“I just, wasn’t expecting it to be that good.” you reply maybe too honestly, but it doesn’t bother Heeseung. His focus is on the pink mess in front of him. 

It’s then that you realize how much you like being naked in front of him while he’s still fully clothed. It’s a feeling you can’t describe, but allow yourself to rest in. 

Without a warning, Heeseung licks a wide strip up your wet core. You cry out his name, surprised from the intrusion and sudden pleasure. He continues to lick up your folds, circling your clit everytime. He keeps his hands on your thighs to stop them from closing around his head. 

His lips suck all over your core, making sure to reach every part of you that makes you scream. You’re still sensitive from your last orgasm that this one feels like it’s coming even faster. The sight inbetween your legs is almost nauseating from how much it’s turning you on. 

Heeseung seems pussy drunk on you, his eyes closed as he focuses on your taste, your pleasure and your moans of encouragement. You’ve never felt so much pleasure from someone’s tongue, and Heeseung seems to know exactly what he is doing. His tongue starts to dart into your hole, making you cry out his name. Your hand reaching for his hair to poull him closer into your core. 

“Fuck, daddy! Please!” you cry out, eyes shut from the pleasure threatening to abrupt. 

“You gonna cum on daddy’s tongue?” he mumbles into your core, his lips never completely leaving your body. 

“S-so close, please,” you continue to beg, not wanting him to stop. 

“Cum on daddy’s tongue, you can do it.” he tells you, before sucking your clit directly into his mouth. 

With his permission, you let the coil in your stomach finally snap. Your legs threaten to close, but Heeseung doesn’t let them. He continues to lick your pussy until you’ve come down from your high. You had to push his head away from how sensitive you were. 

When Heeseung lifts his head up, his lower half of his face is shiny and wet from your juices. He watches you try to catch your breath as you lay back completely on his bed. He likes being able to tell just how good you’re feeling. How good he’s making you feel. 

“You really taste so good, baby.” he speaks, moving up the bed to be over top of you. You feel your cheeks redden as you look up at him. He grabs your chin in between his fingers and thumb, locking your face still. “Open your mouth.” You do as he says, sticking your tongue out, too. Heeseung purses his lips before he lets a glob of spit drip from his mouth, directly into yorus. You can’t help but moan at the action as you close your mouth and swallow it. There’s a hint of the taste of yourself mixed with his. “Good girl.” 

Heeseung and you makeout softly then. Taking in each other and building up the tension again as you moan and whine into each other’s mouths. 

“Think you can take one more?” Heeseung asks you when he pulls away. 

“Yes, daddy.” you reply obedietnly. Heeseung smiles and leans down to press a kiss onto your shoulder. 

Heeseung stands up off his bed briefly, and tugs down his bottoms, his hard dick popping out. It made your jaw drop at the sight. The tip red and dripping, and the veins protruding up and down the shaft. You wanted it so badly. You watch him slip on a condom from his bed side drawer. 

He kneels back onto his mattress and lifts your legs up so you’re knees are bent towards you. He holds your ankle with one hand as he guides his cock into your hole with the other. It slips in so easily since it’s soaked with your juices and his spit. Both of you groan out as he sinks in slowly. Heeseung’s eyes roll to the back of his head as your pussy engulfs him. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” he groans out, eyebrows furrowed as he rests inside of you. 

“You feel so good, daddy.” you tell him honestly, feeling like his dick was in your stomach. Heeseung grunts at your words, bringing his other hand to grip your waist. 

Slowly, Heeseung starts to pump in and out of you. Both of you hissing at the feeling. It felt so good, so full, so wet. You genuinely don’t know the last time you’ve ever felt this good, so sensitive. 

“Faster,” you speak up, wanting even more. 

You’re responded with a slap on your clit, making you jolt forward with a cry. 

“Use your manners,” Heeseung’s words are sharp at you. 

“Go faster please, daddy,” you tell him, hoping he obeys yours words. 

Suddenly, Heeseung starts pounding into you at an extremely fast pace. He grips your legs tight as he pushes them towards your chest. You’re completely folded for him to be able to reach your g spot with every thrust. His bedroom is filled with wet squelches as he fucks into you so fast. You feel him deep in your stomach now, and you can’t help but release screams of pleasure, not caring if the people downstairs can hear you. 

“Like this, baby? You like it when daddy fucks you like this?” Heeseung grunts out through grated teeth as the pleasure is also affecting him. 

“D-addy! I’m gonna cum!” You cry out, your core so sensitive from the two earlier orgasms. 

“Do it. Do it, cum all over daddy’s cock.” he encourages you, wants you to do it. 

He speeds up his movements even more. Both of you feel your walls tighten around him more before you’re releasing all over his cock, his abdomen and his sheets. You feel droplets of your release land on your thighs, your core even more wet as Heeseung keeps thrusting through your high. 

“Fuck!” Heeseung lets out, watching your pussy squirt all over him. He can’t stop himself from hitting his climax. He releases his white cum into the condom, grunting out your name and praises as he does so. You can only repeat his name over and over again as you feel your body start to go numb from the pleasure. 

Both of you still with him deep inside of you, both of you catching your breaths. You’re both sweaty and tired, but feel so so good. 

With a grunt, Heeseung pulls out of you slowly, and throws the used condom in a trash can near his bed. You suddenly feel so naked next to him and wrap his sheets around your body. Heeseung sits on the bed next to you, with his boxers and shirt on. 

When he glances over his shoulder at you, a grin is on his face, “Fuck,” he nods at you. 

You can’t help but smile back, “That was…-” you start to say but he finishes. 

“The best sex I’ve ever had in my life.” 

“Yeah, exactly,” you tell him as you sit up, keeping the sheet wrapped around your bare chest. 

Both of you laugh as you take in what just happened. Neither of you had ever felt so fucking good in your entire lives. Both of you looked crazy with your messed up hair and sweat droplets down your faces. 

“I can’t believe you squirted,” Heeseung laughs out into his room, the music from downstairs being able to be heard again. 

“Dude, me neither,” you tell him honestly, “I’ve never done that before. I didn’t even know I could do that,” 

Heeseung shrugs as he lays down on his bed, “I told you I could fuck you good, believe me now?” 

You roll your eyes at him, looking for where he had thrown your dress earlier, “Yeah, whatever.” You stand up, grabbing your dress and starting to unroll it so you can rewear it. Heeseung stays laying down, watching you dress. You avoid eye contact with him as you do so, the bedroom coming tense. 

You glance into his mirror, trying to brush down your as you prepare to go find Dayeon and Shana- shit, Dayeon and Shana. 

“Hey, uh Y/n,” Heeseung calls to you. 

“Yeah?” You turn to look at his figure. 

With your attention, Heeseung sits up, “Maybe, since it was so good, we should do that again, some time,” 

Your jaw wants to drop at his words but you keep it glued. Lee Heeseung never fucks the same girl twice, and if he does it’s because the girl is relentless or he was drunk. But an open invitation by he, himself, you couldn’t believe it. 

“Like? When?” you ask him confused. 

“Whenever. When either of us wants a fuck we can hit each other up,” 

“Like, friends with benefits?” you suggest and tilt your head. 

Heeseung thinks for a second, “Yeah, sure,” 

You scoff with a smile, “Sure,” you toss him your phone before going back to his mirror to fix your appearance and look less like you just had amazing sex. 

Heeseung types his phone number into your phone and then texts himself to get yours before he hands it back to you. “Here,” you take it from him and put your hand on the doorknob to leave, “I’m serious, though, whenever you want, whenever we’re both free,” 

You nod, “Whenever you want,” you echo back. 

“Deal?” Heeseung reaches his hand forward to shake. 

“Deal.” Your hands meet, and then suddenly you’re in a friends with benefits contract with Lee Heeseung. The frat president you had always tried to avoid. The frat boy that made you so frustrated and annoyed and humiliated. The frat boy that made you scream so loud from pleasure, the one that made you feel like you never had before. So, maybe this won’t all be disastrous. 

When you’re about to leave Heeseung calls your name again, stopping you, “Just so we’re clear, sex is the only thing I can give you– nothing else.” 

His words make a sly smile spread on your face, “Heeseung, don’t worry, I am not going to fall in love with you,” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes, “Bye Y/n,” 

You leave his room and wonder what the hell you’re going to tell Dayeon and Shana.

Luckily, Dayeon and drunk Shana didn’t spend too much time waiting around for you, and they didn’t ask too many questions about where you had gone. Dayeon was too focused on helping Shana get home and into bed to wonder about where you had disappeared to. You helped Shana while thinking about how you were going to hide your friends-with-benefits deal with Heeseung. 

You couldn’t tell your friends about what you had done with Heeseung. You had gone on too many rants about frat houses and frat boys, and how you wished they weren’t a thing. The three of you had all had many interesting conversations about why Lee Heeseung was the wrost grat boy, after seeing so many freshman and other girls cry. Even some of your mutual friends and acquaintaces have cried to the three of you about Lee Heeseung. 

But you told yourself that you would not cry over the frat president. You would not be like any of the other girls who have shared their heartbroken stories with you and your friends. So, there was no reason to tell your friends. They wouldn’t need to worry about you or a broken heart if there was not going to be a broken heart. 

Just as long as your friends don’t find out, everything should be fine. You’re gonna get amazing sex, is it really that big of a deal that it’s with Lee Heeseung? 

Okay, maybe. 

But what your friends don’t know, won’t hurt them. 

The three of you were sat in your college’s cafeteria for lunch. It was busy and loud, but you had nothing else to do before your next class. You talked about what happened on the weekend and other campus gossip that you’ve heard. You tried to engage with your friends normally, but you struggle when you know Heeseung is sitting across the room from you. 

Heeseung and his friends, who are probably also in a frat, sit across the room. You could hear their laughter through all the others. You subtly glance over at Heeseung, not wanting your friends to see, your curiosity getting the best of you. Heeseung met your gaze with a nod and a playful smile, a silent acknowledgement of your unspoken deal. 

As Shana and Dayeon continued to talk, Dayeon suddenly brought your name up– distracting you from Heeseung. 

“Huh, what?” you ask her. 

Dayeon rolls her eyes, “Were you even listening?” 

“Uh, yeah, I was just thinking about my project that’s due.” 

Dayeon gives you a weird look before continuing, “Well I was saying, that Sung Hanbin asked about you the other day?”

Flashes of the last time you had seen him ring in your mind. At the party a few weeks ago, when he winked at you and then overhearing Heeseung wanting to get him kicked out. 

“Why would he ask about me?” 

“Yeah, and why are you hanging out with him recently?” Shana asks Dayeon with a curious expression. 

“Right, I did see you two at the party a few weeks ago,” You nod in agreement with Shana. 

Dayeon shrugs, “I don’t know, we have a few classes together.” 

“What did he say about me?” 

“Nothing much, just asked what you’re up to and all that.” 

You didn’t know much about Sung Hanbin, besides from that fact that he is also in a frat. You’ve heard a few stories about him at parties and how he loves to dance. He seemed nice through all the times you’ve heard about him, or passed him in the hall or at parties. You wondered why Heeseung didn’t like him so much. 

“Why would he care about that?” You ask your friends. 

Shana shrugs, “I don’t know, maybe he’s into you.” 

Dayeon agrees, “Probably,” 

“What? No,” you shake your head, “I’ve never even spoken to him before.” 

“So?” Dayeon asks, “He can still see you, he can think you’re pretty,” 

You snark your face up in disgust at her words. 

“What?” Shana laughs, “Hanbin’s not that bad looking, I think he’s cute.” 

“Yeah, he’s cute,” Dayeon agrees with your friend. 

You roll your eyes, “He’s whatever,”

“Oh come on, Y/n,” Shana whines, “You never think anyone is cute,” 

“Yeah, how do you expect to get laid if you don’t think anyone’s cute,” Dayeon chimes in. 

You scoff, “Easy, I don’t expect to get laid,” 

Your friends laugh as you feel your phone vibrate on the table. You flip it over and see a notification: 

Heeseung (best dick evr)  do u want to meet me at my car after last class? 

You hold back your gasp at the contact name to avoid attention from your friends. Why the hell would he make his contact that? You glance across the room at him, a playful smirk on his face when he meets your eyes. You sigh and read his message again. 

You type a brief ‘ok’ before you slide your phone away from you. You listen to what Dayeon and Shana are talking about, trying to focus on your friends. But your eyes can’t help but wander over to Heeseung who’s smiling at you behind his friend’s back as they leave the cafeteria. 

You feel excitement bubble in your stomach and panties as you think about what you and Heeseung are going to do after your class. You’ll just have to wait three hours to find out. 

Enduring the entire class while anticipating fucking Heeseung felt like an awful eternity. Every minute seemed to stretch and you found yourself not being able to sit still for the a mere second. 

When the class finally ended, you waved bye to your friends and practically bolted out the classroom. You headed straight for the parking lot, which was busy as people were trying to find their cars and leave for the day. The late afternoon sunlight blinded you as you looked around for him. 

Heeseung stood by his car, leaning casually against it, scrolling on his phone. His car, the one that everyone knew belonged to him, was a sleek, black camaro with clean lines and a polished finish. As you approached, Heeseung glanced up, his handsome face lightening up into a devious expression as he watched you walk towards him. You don’t miss the way his eyes trace your body. 

With an almost courteous gesture, he opens the back door, “After you.” 

You pop your hip out, “We’re having sex in your car?” 

“Uh, yeah, I have somewhere to go after,” 

You roll your eyes but crawl in. Inside is nice, it smells almost brand new it’s so clean and almost empty. As he crawls in next to you, you look outside the tinted windows, watching everyone getting in their cars, or stopping and talking with their friends. It’s the afterschool rush and now you’re going to have sex with Heeseung. 

“What? Worried they’ll see us?” Heeseung quirks an eyebrow at you, “The windows are tinted.” 

“What if they hear us?” You bite your lip anxiously at the thought. 

Heeseung laughs, “What? Don’t you want everyone to know how good your daddy fucks you?” His hand juts out and pushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing along your jaw. His words remind you of how soaked your panties are, and how you’ve had to endure waiting for three hours for this. You needed his cock so bad. 

“Fine, kiss me,” you speak. 

Heeseung grips your jaw tightly, “Ask daddy nicely,” 

You swallow, “Please kiss me, daddy.” 

And he does so. His lips meet yours with more familiarity. His rhythm, the texture, the taste, the feeling. It’s a feverish kiss. One that’s been on hold since he texted you earlier. Both of you knowing what was going to happen, and when it was going to happen, but not being able to do it right away. 

“Want you to suck daddy’s cock,” Heeseung pulls away to say, hsi eyes looking dead into your own. 

You nod at him, “Okay, daddy,” 

You guys shift so that your knees are on the car floor and inbetween Heeseung’s spread legs. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” 

You sigh and look up at him, “I want to Heeseung, don’t worry,” 

Heeseung softly smiles at you and leans down to press a kiss on your lips, “Then suck,” 

Your hands found his jean zipper quickly, pulling it down and both of you helping to push his jeans down to his knees. His cock was already semi hard, the bulge evident in his black boxers. Your hand starts to cup his dick while your lips press kisses into his bare thighs. 

“Can’t wait for your dick to be in my mouth, daddy,” you look up at him through your eyelashes, your hand cupping his dick tighter through the fabric. 

“Yeah? Been thinking about it? Thinking about daddy’s cock?” Heeseung asks, his head tilting to the side as he does. 

“Mhm,” you answer honestly, “ever since I left your room last time,” 

Heeseung smiles almost innocently at your answer, teasing that he’s also been thinking about you but won’t say it. 

You finally peel off his boxers so they’re at his knees with his jeans. His cock sprung up, his tip beckoning you to put your mouth on it. You brought the pink head to your mouth, taking small kitten licks at it. You feel Heeseung’s thighs tense at the feeling. 

Slowly, you bring the tip into your mouth, sucking around it. Heeseung’s hand flies down to tangle into your hair. He doesn’t add any pressure, just holding onto you as you give him pleasure. 

You take in every inch of his dick, your cheeks tightening around it as you suck. When you think it’s successfully wet enough you let up to breathe.

“Spit in my hand, daddy,” you hold out your hand to him. 

Heeseung groans at your words, “Fuck,” but does so. He leans forward and lets a drop of his spit land in your palm. You put your hand onto his dick, so it mixes with your saliva. 

You let your hand start to jerk his hard cock up and down as you put it back into your mouth. 

“Shit, baby, jus’ like that,” he nods at you, his eyelids half closed from the pleasure. 

You could taste his precum in your mouth as you continued ot suck. Your tongue circles all the prominent veins as your hand continued it’s movements. Everytime your tongue would swipe across the slit of his tip, Heeseung would groan out your name, wanting you to continue. 

“You’re such a good girl for daddy,” Heeseung praises you, his hand in your hair tightening with the more pleasure he felt. 

You started to suck in your cheeks more everytime his tip would hit the back of your throat. You held it in your mouth for as long as you could before you needed air, just wanting Heeseung to feel so good because of you. Heeseung was starting to not be able to stay still. His neck thrown back onto the headrest as he looks down at you working on his cock. His breaths were becoming erratic as you continued. 

“You gonna cum so fast, daddy?” you tease him, your wide eyes meeting his only made him want to cum more. 

“Shut up, no,” he says breathlessly, his hand in your hair now pushing you down on his cock. If it wasn’t so far in your mouth you would’ve laughed at him. You could feel how hard his cock was in your mouth now. Feel how tense his body was as he took in all the pleasure you were giving him. “Okay, fuck, fuck,” Heeseung takes you completely off his dick, a string of saliva attaching your mouth to his tip. 

“You almost came, didn’t you?” you ask him, out of breath along with him. 

Heeseung nods, “Sorry, your mouth’s just like heaven, seriously.” 

You pout up at him, “Then why won’t you cum in my mouth, daddy?” 

“Oh my god,” Heeseung groans out, “you’re seriously gonna kill me.” You laugh at him as he lifts you up off the car floor, “Want you to ride daddy, that’s why.” 

You nod at him as you start to take off your bottoms, Heeseung’s hands aren’t shy to lift up your shirt so your tits are revealed. You whine as he starts to mouth at your tits before you can even kick off your panties properly. “Daddy,” 

“What?” he mumbles into your skin, “You look so fucking good today, so pretty. Can’t help myself.” 

“Really?” you can’t help but ask, never really thinking about the fact that Lee Heeseung finds you pretty, or attractive. You kind of just thought that he saw you as another pussy to fuck. 

Heeseung pops off your nipple with a quirked eyebrow, “What? Of course. You’re always pretty.” Heeseung watches as you throw your bare leg to the other side of his so you’re straddling him. Your bare cores brushing against each others, “Fuck, and sexy.” 

You hum in acknowledgement of his words before you lean down and press your lips to his. The kiss is quick and rought and sloppy as you both want to feel each other. You reach down to grab his cock but his hand reaches out to stop you, “Wait, condom.” 

“Oh, right,” you nod, and hold onto him as he reaches over into the glove department to grab one. “Really? You have hundreds of them in your car?” 

Heeseung chuckles as he opens the package, “Well yeah, you never know when you’re gonna need it, right?” 

You roll your eyes but let him slide the condom on and then lift you up so you’re positioned over top of his cock. Slowly, you start to sink down onto his hard member. Both of you make eyecontact as he fills you up, watching the pleasure take over each other’s faces. 

When he’s all the way in you can’t help the harsh breath that escapes your lips. 

“H-holy shit, daddy, you’re so deep.” 

Heeseung nods, “Yeah, can you feel me right in your tummy, baby?” he asks you, his hand coming between your bodies to press down on your lower abdomen. You almost scream when you feel it press against his dick inside of you, right up against your g spot. 

“Yes daddy!” you nod, “P-lease move, need it so bad, please.” 

Heeseung starts to thrust up in you at a quick pace, giving you no more time to adjust to his size. With every thrust you swear you can feel him deeper and deeper in your stomach. Your whole body is bouncing up and down on his cock. 

From this perspective you can see out the entire back window of the car. There’s people still walking to their cars, stopping and talking. You close your eyes as you focus on the pleasure Heeseung is giving you. His face is smashed into your breast, biting and sucking them as you continue to bounce up and down on his cock. You know your knees are going to be sore after this, but for now it just feels so good. 

When you open your eyes again, there’s two girls standing at the back of their car that’s directly beside Heeseung’s. They’re talking and laughing with each other, having no idea what was happening in the car just a meter away. The thought that they could hear you makes more excitement bubble in your stomach and you know you’re gonna have to be quicker if you don’t want them to catch on. 

Heeseung feels you tighten around his cock suddenly, a groan escaping his lips when he does. He glances up and sees where your eyes keep glancing to. The two oblivious girls stand only a door away from his car, and he knows that that is what is turning you on more. 

“Do you want them to know how good your daddy is making you feel, huh?” Heeseung slaps your ass with his hand. You have to bite down on your lip to mask your squeal that almost escaped your mouth. 

“Daddy,” you whine out to him, feeling your cheeks heat up to a rosy colour. You felt embarrassed but so turned on that you couldn’t stop riding Heeseung’s cock. 

“Want them to hear how you cry out for daddy?” Heeseung smirks into your skin, his thrusts meeting your bounces harshly, his tip hitting your g spot over and over. 

“Fuck!” you cry out, your grip tightening on his shoulders as Heeseung pounds into you. When you glance over at the girls they are staring right at your car, their eyes widened as they must notice the car moving now. You cover your mouth with your shaky hand, trying to silence yourself through Heeseung’s pleasure. 

You feel Heeseung’s hand slip between your bodies to start rubbing your clit at a fast pace, making you cry out his name more, “Want you to cum on dadddy’s cock, baby. Want you to soak it.” 

You notice the girls start moving to get inside their, obviously understanding what was happening in Heeseung’s car, now. You nod your head rapidly at Heeseung’s words. You feel your orgasm start to build more and more with Heeseung rubbing your clit. 

Suddenly, it hits you so quickly. Your orgasm crashes down on you, leaving your whole body numb as it rides the pleasure it’s been given. You’re arching your chest more into Heeseung’s face as you throw your head back, crying out ‘daddy’ as you see stars. 

“Good girl, fuck, good girl.” Heeseung praises you. He feels your wet pussy clamping around his dick so tightly that he can’t hold on to his own orgasm much longer. 

Your jaw falls slack when you feel Heeseung’s dick twitch inside of you before he releases his cum into the condom. Heeseung slopily kisses your neck as he grunts your own name into your skin. His hips don’t stop thrusting into you until you’re whining from sensitivity. Then, both of you are breathing heavy onto each other, catching your breaths. 

When you glance over at the car parked beside you, you notice it’s gone, along with majority of all the other cars and people that were in the parking lot when you first entered Heeseung’s car. You wonder if any of them even noticed you getting into his car. 

You shift your shirt back down over your chest and stomach. You move to slide Heeseung out of you, so you sit beside him in the back seat and start reaching for your bottoms. Heeseung starts to copy you, shifting to pull his boxers and jeans back up to his hips. It’s almost awkward as you dress. 

“Um, I guess, I’ll go now, then.” You say to him, glancing over at his figure as he readjusts himself. 

Heeseung shrugs, “Alright, I’ll see you around.” 

You nod and open the backdoor, standing up and out– and then you feel drops of wetness hit your head. You glance up at the once clear, blue sky and see that it’s now grey and covered with heavy clouds that exude the drops. You sigh as you realize you’re going to have to bus home in this. 

“Hey, uh, I’ll drive you home,” Heeseung speaks from the back. 

“Really?” you ask him, “You sure?” 

“Yeah, no problem– get in the front.” 

Both of you move so that you’re now in the front of his black camaro. Heeseung turns on the heat as you settle in and he pulls out of the school parking lot. It’s silent in the car, besides briefly giving Heeseung directions to your apartment. You find yourself staring at your hands in your lap. 

“Did you really not think I’d want to drive you home in the rain?” Heeseung questions suddenly. 

You look over at him, his one hand on the steering wheel as he keeps his head looking forward, you look out your window when you answer, “Yeah, I guess.” 

“What? Why do you always think of me as some asshole?” 

You hear his defensive but curious tone, “I don’t know, just stuff I’ve heard about you.” You hear him scoff so you look at him. You’re stopped at a red light and he’s leaning how elbow on the window with his hand brushing through his bangs. “What?” 

Heeseung glances at you, “Nothing, it’s just, I’ve heard things about you but I don’t treat you any differently.” 

You’re taken aback at his words. You didn’t even think Lee Heeseung had properly heard about you before he gave you his shirt. “What have you heard about me?” 

The light turns green as Heeseung moves the car in motion again and he shrugs, “Just, that you’re a prude and no one understands why Shana and Dayeon are friends.” 

Your face wants to contort into a hurt expression, but you don’t let it. Instead you turn to look out your window. You can not believe people say that about you. That before the night Heeseung gave you his shirt that that was what he had known about you. That that was why he confirmed if you were friends with Shana and Dayeon that night. You wondered just how many people thought those things about you. You wondered if Shana and Dayeon thought those things about you, they were always nagging at you to get laid. 

Heeseung feels guilty from your silence. He thinks maybe he shouldn’t have told you what he had heard before. But you were also hurting him. It was true that he liked to have sex, but did that really make him an asshole? Did that make him deserve to be treated lower than you? You didn’t even want to be seen with him at his own house party. 

Heeseung sighs, “Sorry,” 

You roll your eyes in your window reflection, “It’s fine.” 

The car comes to another red light and Heeseung lets his back hit the car seat, “Look, Y/n,” you turn to look when your name is mentionned, “I don’t care who or why you’re friends with people– and I definitely don’t think you’re a prude,” you tilt your head at him, “It’s just, how about we restart? You forget everything you’ve heard about me, and I’ll forget everything I’ve heard about you.” 

You let his offer ring in your head for a moment, realizing that maybe you had been a little too much on him with the whole asshole-fuckboy-frat stereotype. Maybe you should’ve been a little nicer to him. With that, you sigh. 

“Fine, okay– deal.” 

Heeseung smiles at your agreement, “Deal.” 

The car starts moving again, and this time the silence between you two is lighter. There’s no more unknown things about one another. No more apprehensiveness towards each other. Just the two of you, who like to have sex together, in the car. 

Suddenly, your stomach growls, taking up the silence. Both you and Heeseung glance at each other from the noise. 

“What? You hungry?” Heeseung asks, a playful smile on his face. With your nod his smile only grows, “Want McDonalds?” 

“Uh, yes!” you nod eagerly, “Please! God, I’m actually starving.” 

“What? My cock didn’t fill you up enough?” 

“Heeseung!” you shove his shoulder playfully, “Stop!” 

Heeseung only laughs louder as he turns into McDonalds, ready to fill you up again– but with food this time. And it left you wondering if this friends with benefits deal would actually turn out to be more fun than you thought. 

Lee Heeseung dropped you off at your apartment with his black camaro and McDonald’s– which he bought for you. He didn’t drive off until he made sure you got in your apartment okay with a final wave from inside by you. 

From then on, things between you and Heeseung had become relatively normal. Instead of having underlying apprehensions with one another– you were honest and open. Something that was probably important to be considering how many times you two have had sex. 

Everytime you guys hooked up, you became somewhat closer and closer. It was always unspoken between you two about how you had started to form some sort of secret friendship. But, it was probably unavoidable from how often you guys fucked. Every weekend without fail you would meet up. Whether it was at his frat house, him sneaking into your apartment after your roommates had gone to bed, or you showing up in his bedroom after leaving another party, telling your friends that you were tired and wanted to go home. In between classes, studying– you had become quite familiar with the back of Heeseung’s car. 

But, little by little, you two would talk and joke after you were done having sex. Whether it was about some party or gossip, or just some stupid thing that happened in one of your classes. McDonald’s runs were becoming an after sex must. You had formed a friendship with Lee Heeseung, the notorious frat president that you always wanted to avoid. 

Dayeon and Shana hadn’t picked up on anything related to you and Heeseung and your fwb deal. In a way you were relieved that they didn’t know, so you could keep something away from their prying eyes and questions. 

Though, a few days after the first time you had sex with Heeseung in his car, the three of you were sitting in the library at lunch to study. Some girls a few tables over were having their own conversation that the three of you couldn’t help but overhear. 

“Did you hear that Heeseung was fucking some girl in his car the other day?” the one girl asked her group. 

You suddenly gulped as she speaks the words. Dayeon and Shana only glancing at eachother with annoyed expressions about having to hear about another Lee Heeseung hook up. 

“What, really?” the second girl asked her friend. 

“Uh, yeah. Right as everyone was trying to leave to go home.” 

“What? Who has car sex during after school rush?” 

You could feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, you could only hope to God that your friends in front of you didn’t notice. 

“Mina, Lee Heeseung will have sex anywhere, anytime with anyone, not that surprising.” Another girl says with a roll of her eyes. Great, you really did sound like just another Lee Heeseung whore. 

“Yeah, but apparently the girl was like screaming, like it felt that good.”

You felt sick suddenly, knowing that everyone has been talking about you moaning and screaming over Lee Heeseung’s stupid frat dick. 

“God, I wish Lee Heeseung could fuck me like that, that girl is so lucky.” 

“I wish anyone would fuck me like that, all the sex I’ve had has been so boring.” 

You stand up abruptly, Shana and Dayeon looked at you confused. 

“What’re you doing Y/n?” Dayeon asked. 

You started to pile your things into your backpack, just needing to get out of that library. 

“Y/n, are you okay?” Shana asksed, concerned at your actions.

“I just, I need to go, I- forgot I had to meet up with people to work on a project.” 

“Oh, okay,” Shana pouts at you as you push in your chair. You left the library without a goodbye, praying that your friends would not find out about you and Heeseung. 

Now, you went from fucking Heeseung at least three times a week- to not having fucked him in almost three weeks. Every time he has texted you, something had come up that he had to cancel. The first few times you had texted to meet up, he’d say he was busy and that he was sorry. But now, your last few texts have gone unreplied. You haven’t even see him at school, and if you did, it was only for a brief second as you walked past each other in the hall. 

Something was up with him, but you knew there would be no point in asking him. And honestly, you were annoyed. He could have at least answered your texts, or given you some sort of explanation. Because honestly, you had gotten used to having sex mulitple times a week. He had raised your sex drive so much, constantly thinking about when and where you would fuck next. And now– nothing. He’s left you high and fucking dry. 

Suddenly, your phone starts ringing from a call from Dayeon. You don’t hesitate to pick up as you roll over onto your back onto your bed. 

“Hello?” you speak into the line. You’re instantly greeted with loud, house party music. 

“Y/n! You have to come to this party tonight I told you! It’s so fun, dude! Please!” Dayeon begs into the phone. You sigh at your drunk friend’s offer. She had told you about it earlier but you had declined. You didn’t feel like partying anymore, not with Lee Heeseung ignoring you, and not with people thinking you’re some sort of prude that doesn’t deserve to be friends with Shana and Dayeon. 

“I don’t think so, D. I’m not feeling it tonight, I will next time.” you tell her no again. 

“Boo!” Dayeon answers back. 

Suddenly Shana’s voice can be heard, “Y/n please! Even though it’s Enha Tau’s party it’s still fun! Come see us, please!” You can hear your pretty friends pout in her words. 

Realizing that it’s Enha Tau’s party leaves a knot in your stomach. 

“C’mon Y/n! I haven’t even seen any of the annoying frat boys!” Dayeon tries to persuade you. 

Shana’s voice is further and muffled, “Didn’t we see Heeseung earlier?” 

Hearing his name makes the knot even tighter. 

“Guys, I’m not coming tonight I’m sorry. I’ll see you guys when you come home later. Have fun!” you feign cheerfulness to your friends, and sigh when you’re met with both of them booing at you before you hang up. 

You open your texts with Heeseung. The message you had sent him four hours ago hasn’t even been read this time. Yet, he was at a party where he knows your friends are. You felt hurt bubble up inside you and you don’t understand why. You know you and Heeseung aren’t dating, and that he likes to fuck around with girls. But not even getting a message from him bothers you. 

You just figure he’s moved on to the next girl. 

Abruptly, there’s a knock on your front door. You sigh but get up to open it. 

You’re surprised to see Sung Hanbin standing there, a big smile on his face once he sees you. 

“Oh, uh, hi Hanbin.” 

“Hi, Y/n,” he greets you, “Is Dayeon home?” 

You shake your head, “No, she’s at a party at Enha Tau’s. Why?” 

Hanbin’s expression dropped a bit, “Oh, it’s just she borrowed my textbook, but I need it back now to study for a test I have on Monday.” 

“Oh, okay. Come in and I’ll get it for you.” You open the door wider for him to come in. He thanks you and tells you what textbook it is. You leave and thankfully find it sitting right ontop of Dayeon’s desk, snatching it up to give back to Hanbin. “Here you go.” 

“Great, thanks Y/n,” Hanbin smiles warmly at you– he really does have a nice smile you think. You couldn’t help but notice how cute he actually was up close. Your conversation with Shana and Dayeon from weeks ago being remembered in your head as you take in his features. HIs polite emeanor and earnestness really add to this handsome charm he has. “I’ll see you at school.” 

“You know,” you begin, stopping Hanbin from opening the front door, “I have nothing else to do tonight, and it is Friday, so, would you want to stay and watch a movie or something? Dayeon and Shana won’t be back for a while, so…” 

Hanbin’s eyes lit up with a surprised but pleasant expression, “Uh sure, that’d be fun.” 

“Really? Great! Let’s go to my room,” you nod behind you. Hanbin leaves his textbook on the table and follows you with his bright smile. 

Both of you settled down onto your bed, easily picking a movie that both of you would enjoy. You sit side by side, your legs stretched out in front of you both, your shoulders almost touching. In the dim light of your room, you couldn’t help but let your thoughts race about Sung Hanbin, he was right beside you. 

“So,” you start, taking his focus off of the movie, “Dayeon told me you asked her about me.” 

Hanbin kept the warm smile on his lips when he answered, “Well, I think you’re cute.” 

“What?” you replied in a shocked tone. 

Hanbin chuckled at you, “I always see you around, and I’ve thought you were pretty for a while now” 

You feel your heart skip for a second out of shock, and for a moment your mind flashed back to when Heeseung had called you pretty in his car. But you quickly push that memory aside to focus on the present reality. Heeseung was with someone else, and Sung Hanbin was in your bed calling you pretty. 

“Really?” you asked with curiosity. 

Hanbin nodded and leaned in a little closer to you, “Yeah, of course,”. 

In that moment, you decide to follow your instinct. Your worries about Heeseung and everything else surrounding him were pushed to the back of your mind as you lean in and press your lips to Hanbin’s. He’s quick to kiss you back, melting into each other as you sync up your movements. 

“Can I make you feel good, Y/n?” Hanbin pulls away and whispers. With your nod of consent he continues to kiss you. He gently pushes you down onto your back on your bed so he’s ontop of you. He continues press his tongue against your lip, asking for entrance. When you allow him, your tongues mesh together, tasting each other. 

“Want you Hanbin,” you moan against his lips, thrusting your hips up against his. He smiles gently at you like always, pressing a kiss to the top of your nose before he lets his hands start to unbutton your jeans. He so easily slips his fingers to inbetween your panties. You can tell you aren’t as wet as you usually are with Heeseung, but you don’t voice that thought. 

Instead, Hanbin brings his fingers to your lips, “Taste yourself, Y/n,” you suck his fingers into your mouth, making sure to coat them with all the saliva you could manage. When Hanbin is satisfied he slips his fingers back into your panties, mixing your spit with your juices. 

You mewl out to him when he dances across your clit, teasing you. When he probs two of his fingers inside of your hole you can instantly tell it would be nothing like when Heeseung fingers you. Hanbin has to take a few thrusts to find your g spot. Brushing against it lightly as he curls his fingers upwards. 

You decided to lift your shirt up over your head as he fingered you, discarding it somewhere on your bedroom floor. Hanbin’s eyes widened at your action, his eyes staring at your bare chest. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Hanbin compliments you before he lets his mouth start to suck on your chest. You revel in his compliment as he starts to swivel his tongue around your nipple. You could feel his biting, and then his warm tongue soothing over the skin. 

“Please, Hanbin, want you cock,” you whine out to him, just wanting to feel him more. 

“Okay, baby,” he presses a final kiss to your chest before he slips his hand out of your panties. Both of you work to remove your pants. His hard cock is protruding and the tip is red. “Do you have a condom?” 

You nod as you reach over to your bedside table, grabbing one that he easily slips on. You spread your legs to allow him to move inbetween them. With no more hesitation, Hanbin teased you by rubbing his cock up and down your pussy, soaking the condom with your juices and spit. You mewl when his tip circles your clit. 

“Ready?” Hanbin asks you, his eyes staying on yours as you nod. 

Hanbin starts to slowly sink into your pussy, inch by inch. The strech was different, and it felt good. Everything about hooking up with Hanbin was already so different from what you were used to. You told yourself that it would be good to experience more without Heeseung, even though he seemed to constantly be on your mind during this moment. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” Hanbin breathes out once his dick is all the way inside of you. He thrusts his cock back out again slowly, wanting to feel every inch of your wall.

“You feel good, too.” you tell him, your hand gripping onto his upper arms as he finds his pace to fuck into you. He goes slow, but hard– so different from how Heeseung fucks you. He rolls his hips inside of you, your body jutting upwards with every hard thrust of his. 

You were physically so close to him, but yet you felt so far. You lay under him, watching him as he grunts and furrows his eyebrows as he fucks into you. You know you should be focusing on him, on the way he’s trying to make you feel– because it’s Sung Hanbin, and anyone would be lucky to be this close to Sung Hanbin. 

Hanbin leans down and kisses your lips before leaving his head into the crook of your neck. You can hear and feel each other’s breaths as he fucks you. He presses kisses into your neck while he grunts out your name. You know that if you weren’t so caught up with Heeseung in this very moment, you would be at least somewhat close to an orgasm. Because there was nothing wrong with Hanbin. No, everything he has done has been right and polite. But you’re just so caught up in the waves of Lee Heeseung. 

“Baby, I’m almost there,” Hanbin grunts out to you, his grip on your hips tightening. With his words you reach down and start rubbing your clit in fast circles, already feeling even more pleasure with Hanbin deep inside of you. He groans out when he feels your walls tighten around him, squeezing him and prompting him to go closer to his orgasm. 

“Want you to cum, Hanbin, please,” you whine out to him, his thrusts getting harder and sloppier as your fingers go faster and faster on your clit. 

“Fuck, okay baby, okay,” his voice is breathless when he responds. 

Hanbin thrusts a few more times before you feel him release into the condom. The feeling of his hard cock twitching inside of you finally pushes you over the edge as well. Both of you moaning the others name as you cum. Your walls are clasping around Hanbin’s dick, shoved still inside of you as he releases into the condom. 

Hanbin’s grip on you didn’t loosen as he leant down and kissed you. It was passionate and gentle– different from how you and Heeseung have ever kissed. Your bodies were sweaty where they met, but Hanbin didn’t seem to mind as he stayed inside of you. You madeout as you both calmed down from your orgasms. 

Hanbin started to gently pull out of you, sliding his condom off and throwing it in the garbage bin. 

“Stay there,” he tells you before he’s sliding his pants back on and leaving your room. He comes back a minute later with a wet wash cloth he must have found in your bathroom. Before you can ask, he’s asking you to spread legs so he can help clean you up. 

You don’t say anything but do as he says, you can’t take your eyes off of him as he oh, so gently wipes up all the spit and fluids. When he’s done, he gently smiles at you and hands you your sweatpants and throws the wash cloth into your laundry bin. 

Hanbin makes sure you’re okay and you walk him to your front door. 

“I had fun, Y/n,” Hanbin smiles warmly at you. 

His smile is contagious and you can’t help but smile back at him, “Yeah, me too.” 

“I hope to see you again, then.” Hanbin suggests, biting his lip. 

“You will,” 

Hanbin smiles once more at you before he leans down and presses a kiss onto your forehead. You say your final goodbyes and close the door after him. It’s only then that you feel like you can breathe properly again. Nothing felt like it went right tonight, but it did. 

Hanbin was everything you should want in a man. He is kind, and gentle and caring. He looked after you and made sure you were okay. Hanbin did absolutely nothing wrong. Yet, you feel like something is. And you know exactly what it is. 

Suddenly, you can’t help but let a sob out. Your hand covering your mouth to silence yourself even though Dayeon and Shana aren’t home. Tears start to form in your eyes and you don’t even truly understand why. You felt so torn and disconnected with everything. 

You lay in your bed with racing thoughts, ready to sleep the rest of this night away. You wiped your tears away as you couldn’t hellp but wish that you spend tonight with Heeseung instead. The guilt overtook you as you realized what the thought must truly mean for yourself. You felt lost with who yourself and wondered what would have happened if you made another choice tonight. Would you still be filled with regret and an inexplicable longing that left you feeling so sunken?

On Monday, you found it hard to concentrate in your classes. Dayeon and Shana could tell something was bothering you all weekend, but you refused to tell them anything. You were trying to get over the weird feelings you were having. Because deep down you knew that there was never going to be any romantic feelings between you and Heeseung. You had just gotten too use to sex with him that hooking up with Hanbin had left you feeling confused. But still, something bothered you in the back of your mind. 

You knew you were still conflicted about everything. But chose to ignore one side of the inner argument. YO had to, for the better. Because there was no way that you would become another girl that got hurt by Lee Heeseung. So, you needed to suck up your confused emotions and come back to reality. Lee Heeseung was a notorious frat fuck boy– the type of boy that you always wanted to avoid. But now, it was too late for that, and you had to deal with that. 

Dayeon had given Hanbin your phone number and he had texted you this weekend, but you hadn’t had the guts to text him back. You felt guilty because you knew how sweet Hanbin was, but you didn’t want to continue to talk to him when you were already this internally confused. 

Dayeon and Shana encouraged you to text Hanbin back. They knew that Hanbin would be good for you, they knew he would treat you right. And you did too. It’s just, is that what you really wanted, or what you should want? 

Just as you started contemplating whether or not to continue whatever arrangement you had with Heeseung, your phone vibrated in your pocket. Thankful for another distraction from your current class, you pull out your phone. 

Heeseung (best dick evr)  do u wanna come over after ur class? 

You felt yourself gulp as you read his text. This was the first text back from him in a week. You hesitated as you re-read his text over and over, ignoring your professors words as they went over the lecture slides. There was uncertainty gnawing you, but eventually, you found yourself texting a reply. 

you  sure

When you arrive at the Enha Tau house, you were almost scared from how quiet and unusual it was. It was a weekday, and there was no sign of the usual raucous party atmosphere that usually took over the entire street. The house was eerily silent as you knocked on the door. You figured all the other frat boys were out, either at their own classes or college clubs. 

When Heeseung opened the door, you saw him properly for the first time in weeks. You felt your heart clench at the thought. He looked undeniably good, his appearance exuding an alluring charm like usual. He was more reserved than usual thought. There was a subtle shift in his demeanor as he stepped aside to let you in. You couldn’t hellp but admire his facial features as you walked past him. The room seemed charged with unspoken tension and you couldn’t help but wonder how the dynamics between you have evolved during your time apart. 

Stepping into Heeseung’s room, you notice how it looked cleaner than all the other times you’d been there. The clothes were folded and put away, and all the chaos that surrounded his desk and closet had been somewhat tamed. 

Heeseung, now sitting on his bed as you walked around and looked at the pictures of his friends and family you could actually see now that his room was cleaner. You tried to ignore the sense of awkwardness hanging in the air. You could both sense that something had changed during their time apart, and you were treading cautiously around it. It was a strange mix of familiarity and uncertainty. 

“So,” You start when you lean against his desk, “how’ve you been?” 

Heeseung sighs, “Good. I thought I would’ve seen you at the party on Friday.” 

You shrug, “Nah,”

“Why not? Doesn’t seem like you to want to miss a party, especially if your friends are there.” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the mention of Shana and Dayeon, “Just didn’t feel it.” 

Heeseung sighs and brushes his bangs back out of his face. He completely knows that the reason why it’s awkward is because of him. “Sorry I didn’t text you back, I had some shit to deal with.” 

It was true. He did have some shit to deal with. Some family financial things that he must always take care of because his parents can’t. It’s the same shit that he never tells anyone and he mentally groans when he knows you’re about to ask him. 

You perk up at the beginning of his apology, “What type of shit?” 

“Stupid shit.” Heeseung is quick to reply. He can obviously tell you don’t like his answer by the way you sigh and move to sit beside him on his bed, both of your feet are on the floor as you sit side by side. 

“What type of stupid shit?” 

“Don’t worry about it shit. It’s done.” 

You look away from him when he responds, not saying anything else because you know that that’s all he’s going to give you. Heeseung hates the way your expression looks right now. Hates that he always sees that face on everyone he’s ever closed to. Hates that it’s on your face right now because of him. 

“Y/n, look,” Heeseung puts his hand on your thigh, making you look up at him, “I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I saw your texts and I know I should’ve, but I just couldn’t. I was busy and stressed with this shit that came up and I didn’t even know what to do. So I’m sorry.” You nod at his words, a small pout still on your lips that he wishes he could kiss away, “And I’m not good with, opening up, or whatever. So, I’m fine now, don’t worry about it.” 

You sigh again but, can tell that he’s being genuine. His eyebrows are furrowed as he explains to you why he hasn’t answered the best he could. And finally, “It’s okay, Hee. I get it.” 

Heeseung smiles at your answer, taking his hand off your thigh and settling back onto his bed against his headboard, “Good, because I missed you.” 

You smirk playfully at him, “Me or my pussy?” 

“Hm,” Heeseung pretends to think, “Both.” You roll your eyes at his answer, “C’mere.” 

You smile at him as you crawl over his bed so you’re perched ontop of him. Your knees on either side of his thighs as you straddle him. Both of your arms find each other almost instinctively at this point. His arms wrap around your waist and yours wrap around his shoulders, locking the other one in. 

“Did Y/n miss her daddy?” Heeseung looks up at you. You nod, almost shyly when you hear the name. Heeseung smiles before he leans down to press kisses along your neck, finding all the sweet spots he knows so well. You already whimper at his touch, craving it for so long. You feel him smirk into your skin but you could care less if he finds you being needy so amusing. 

You start grinding his hips down onto his, needing to relieve some pressure already. His hands help guide you over his crotch as you do so. 

“Fuck, baby– Daddy missed your body so much.” Heeseung groans out as he looks down to where your so needily dry humping him. 

“Missed yours too, daddy.” you whine out to him, throwing your head back and closing your eyes as you focused on grinding your hips downwards. You feel Heeseung kissing all over your neck. His hands moving under your shirt to lift it up. His hands cup your breasts so nicely, like they perfectly in his hands. 

“What the fuck?” 

You open your eyes and look at Heeseung. His face contorted into a look of confusion. You look down to your chest where he is staring– catching sight and instantly remembering of the hickey’s Hanbin had left on your chest and tits. Your eyes widen when you glance at the purple and blue marks, some of them yellowing from healing. 

“What is that?” Heeseung asks you, his facial expression not changing. 

“Uh, hickeys.” 

“From who?” 

You feel your heart beat pick up in your chest, “Hanbin.” Your voice comes out weak. 

“Sung Hanbin?” 

You can’t find yourself to confirm, but Heeseung takes your lack of response as the answer. You watch as his face changes from confusion to disgust. He moves your right leg off of him so he can swing his legs over his bed. His back is towards you when he asks, “When?” 

“Friday night.” 

You watch as Heeseung turns his head away in disbelief and mumbles, “Oh my god.” as he stands up. 

“Hee,” you start but stop when he leans down abruptly over his desk, his head hanging. “What?” He ignores you, keeping his back and face away from you as he shakes his head. You can tell he’s pissed at you just from his body language. “What?” 

Heeseung turns, an annoyed, angry expression on his face, “Just, Sung Hanbin. Really?” his voice is mean and condescending when it comes out. 

You scoff and move so you’re sitting up straight on his bed instead of kneeling, “What’s wrong with that? Why can’t I hook up with other people?” 

Heeseung sighs, his fingers squeezing the spot between his eyebrows. His voice is lower now, “You can. It’s just, you had to fuck him? Of all people really, him?” 

“Why do you care who I hook up with?” your voice raising as you speak. You can’t help but think how uncanny it is. Lee Heeseung of all people, judging you for hooking up with someone. 

Heeseung lets out a frustrated grunt as he turns back around to not see you. He doesn’t answer, but you can see that he’s trying to calm himself down. You had no idea he’d get this mad about it. 

When it’s silent in his bedroom for a few moments you speak again, “Heeseung,” your voice is calmer and softer when you ask, “Are you mad because I hooked up with Hanbin, or that I hooked up with someone else at all?” 

You hear Heeseung breathe a heavy breath before he answers, “Both.” 

You breathe in a heavy inhale, taking in his answer. “Heeseung, if you’ve been hooking up with everyone else, then why can’t I?” 

Heeseung turns at your words, his face back to confused, “Well, I haven’t been hooking up with anyone else,” you can tell you look taken aback at his answer, “Only you.” 

Heeseung looks away from you but his body stays facing you, you can tell he’s struggling to look at you. The room goes silent again, but it’s full of anger. 

“What do you want me to do then? Leave?” you stand up before he can answer, heading straight to his bedroom door. 

“No,” a hand grabbing your forearm stops you, you turn to look at him, his arm stretched out to grab you, “Stay.” 

You turn to face him, his hand stays on your forearm, holding you like you’d run away if he let go. Like he’s scared that that would happen. You tilt your head to the side when he doesn’t say anything. The room is thick as you two stare at each other, each trying to figure out what to say or do. 

Heeseung finally lets your forearm go and he leans back on his desk, “Did- did you use a condom when you fucked Hanbin?” 

You close your eyes at his vulgar words but reply, “Yes.” 

Heeseung sighs once more, “Then let’s update our deal,” he steps forward again so he’s an inch away from you, “I can only fuck you, and you can only fuck me.” 

He’s serious with his words, and sticks out his hand for you to shake, “Deal?” 

You think for a second, staring at his outward hand in front of you, but ultimately nod, “Deal.” Your hands meet in a shake, once again securing some weird arrangement with the frat boy you once wanted to avoid. 

With the hand he’s holding onto, he suddenly pulls you forward, your face landing in his chest, “Now will you let me fuck you?” You nod up at him, wanting to feel him so bad. 

His hand meets your lower cheek, a light warning, “Use your words. Beg,” 

“Yes, daddy. Please fuck me, daddy. I’ve wanted it for so long,” you instantly whine out to him, the truth spilling out in your words. 

Heeseung smirks down at you, before he’s pushing you over onto his bed on your back. He doesn’t hesitate to climb on top of you, his hand going straight for your neck and squeezing. Your mouth drops open as he chokes you, “Gonna let daddy ruin your pussy?” 

“Please,” you speak out to him. He leans down and harshly presses his lips onto yours. You kiss him back, his hand still enclosed on your neck as you makeout with him. Taking in his taste and lips that you had missed feeling so much. 

When he pulls away completely he commands, “Take your clothes off,” 

You hurriedly do as he says, standing up and pulling off your clothes, dropping them onto his floor. He leans back on his bed and watches you, taking in your body that he knows so well. Your body that he loves. You stand in front of him naked, letting him soak in your body.

When he meets your eyes he says “On your back, spread your legs.” 

You lay on your back, letting him kneel in between your legs. His eyes circle around the bruises Hanbin had left. You can see the anger form in his eyes as he looks around the purple marks. 

“Did Hanbin fuck you good? Did he fuck you as good as I do?” 

“No, daddy. No,” you shake your head instantly. 

Heeseung reaches forward and traces the bruises on your chest, “You sure? Looks like he had fun.” 

“Yes, daddy. I thought about you the entire time,” you speak honestly, knowing you’ll probably regret it tomorrow. 

Heeseung smirks at your answer, “Really? Don’t think I need to show you who’s pussy this belongs to?” 

You gulp at his words, “Show me, daddy.” 

Heeseung quirks his eyebrow up before he slips his middle finger right into your pussy. You gasp out at the intrusion, his finger going right at your g spot. His thumb starts slow circles on your clit at the same time. “Fuck, did Hanbin get you this wet?” 

You moan out as he starts to push his middle finger in and out of you. “God, why do you hate Hanbin so much.” 

Heeseung grunts at your question and starts pounding two of his fingers inside of you, stretching you open so easily from your walls being so wet. “Fuck!” you cry out, your hand flying to grip onto his sheets from how hard and fast he had his fingers fucking into you. 

“He fucked my girlfriend,” Heeseung states. 

“What?” you lift your head, trying to refocus on his words despite your pussy clamping helplessly around his fingers. 

“He fucked my girlfriend and then dated her right after.” 

You tried to take in his words, thinking about Hanbin taking Heeseung’s apparent girlfriend. But the only girl you knew that dated Hanbin was, “Choi Yerim!” Heeseung rolls his eyes at her name. “You dated Yerim?” your question comes out in a high pitch whine as Heeseung’s pace didn’t let up. 

“For like a week before she cheated on me with Hanbin,” Heeseung explains like his fingers were curling up inside of you, massaging your g spot before pulling out and forcing his fingers back in again. 

“Oh shit,” you moan out, “I-I’m sorry.” 

Heeseung scoffs, “Don’t worry about it and cum.” 

You nod against his pillow, grunts and moans escaping your lips as his thumb keeps rubbing circles on your clit, “Fuck! Fuck!” 

“That’s it, baby, cum on daddy’s fingers.” 

His words are the final push that send you over the edge of your first orgasm. You squeal and cry out his name as his fingers fuck you through it. You’ve needed this so bad. Needed Heeseung, needed his fingers, his words. 

He takes his fingers out of you, his tongue starts to lap around them, sucking up your juices. 

“Fuck, I missed your taste.” Heeseung leans over you, “Did you let Hanbin taste you, too, whore?” 

“No, daddy,” you shake your head. 

“No?” Heeseung mocks you, “You’re not the little whore I think you are?” You bite your lip and repeat yourself, desparate. “Who’s whore are you?” 

“Yours, daddy. Just yours.” 

Satisfied with your answer, Heeseung leans down so his mouth is level with your sopping pussy. He doesn’t wait a second before he’s delving his mouth onto your core. His lips sucking every part of you. A gasp leaves your mouth when he starts to get just the right rhythm. 

Heeseung is ravenous in your pussy. He’s always liked eating out girls, especially you. He loves the way you jut your hips forward and grind your pussy down onto his mouth, always needing more. You could just never get enough of him and it drove him crazy. 

Tonight, Heeseung is even crazier as he eats you. His whole head and neck moving to lick every single part of you. Alternating from fucking your hole with his tongue, to circling your clit. He loves to bite down gently on your clit, loving the way you squeal out and tell him to not stop. 

Your hands tangle in his black hair, tugging on it to try to gound yourself from how high you felt on pleasure. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you repeat, trying to close your legs around Heeseung’s head, the pleasure increasing and increasing. But, Heeseung stays inbetween your legs, his tongue delved deep inside of you. “I- I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum, whore, do it– let me see how much of a whore you really are.” Heeseung encourages you before he tongue fucks you again, nose pressed into your clit. 

“Oh, god, oh-,” you cry out, “Fuck!” you scream as you feel your orgasm hit. You feel wet drops land all on your inner thighs as your body goes almost numb from the pleasure. Your breathing is erratic as you let the pleasure consume your whole body. 

“Fuck, baby,” Heeseung groans out, his entire lower half of his face and collar of his shirt is soaked. “That was so fucking hot,” you open your eyes finally once the pleasure dies down, you take in Heeseung’s appearance and realize that you must have squirted again. Heeseung moves so you’re face to face, “You okay?” 

You nod against the pillow, “Yeah, just, waited a while for this.” 

Heeseung feels his heart clench at your words but doesn’t let it show, “Roll over,” 

Heeseung helps you onto your stomach, your ass up in the air for him. You hear him stand and undress himself quickly, almost as eager as you are. You watch as he opens his drawer and grabs a condom to slide on. He pumps his cock as he gets on the bed on his knees, gripping your ass as he gets behind you. 

“Gonna show you who’s messy pussy this is, huh baby?” Heeseung grunts as he starts to slide his thick length up and down your slit. 

“Yes, daddy, please,” you respond so obediently to him. 

Heeseung finally starts to push his hard cock into you, so, so slowly. It makes you whine out as he seemingly takes all the time in the world to fill you up. Once inside, both of his hands land on your ass cheeks, making you cry out. 

He slaps your one ass cheek once more, “Fuck, you feel so good, so fucking messy, baby.” 

“Just, just for you, daddy.” 

“Yeah? No one else?” Heeseung leans over so his chest is right against your back. 

“Yes.” 

“Good girl,” he praises before he’s leaning back up and moving his hips backwards, sliding his cock right out of you until just the tip is inside of you still, and he slams it back inside of you. He continues fucking into you like that until his pace has picked up feverishly. He’s fucking into you so roughly that your entire body is moving upwards on the bed, your hands holding onto the headboard to make sure you’re not rammed into it. 

“Yes! Just like that daddy, please!” 

“Just like this? The whore likes it when I, god, I fuck her hard and rough?” Heeseung questions, his grip on your waist tightening as he only moves his hips back and forth. 

“Yes! Fuck, yes!” 

Your face was smashed into the mattress as you let Heeseung fuck your pussy. If it wasn’t for Heeseung holdin gyour hips up then your whole body would flat against the mattress. He was fucking you until you were useless. Allowing him to use you and fuck you so good. 

“Did Hanbin fuck you this good? Get you to cum so good?” Heeseung grunts out, his voice becoming as breathless as you were. When you didn’t answer you earned another harsh slap on your ass, “Answer whore or I stop.” 

“No!” you instantly cry out, “No!” 

You spread your thighs farther apart, letting Heeseung have more room. You keep moaning at the sensation of his cock gliding so easily against your walls. His cock has never felt so hard and full before. It fills you up perfectly. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Heeseung groans out, slapping your ass again, loving the way you tighten even more every time he does. “You gonna cum?” 

You can only mumble a short yes as you feel the coil already starting to snap in your stomach. Heeseung wraps his arm around your abdomen so his fingers can rub at your clit sloppily. It was the final action that caused you to cry out, your eyes squeezing shut as the wave of your orgasm took over your body completely. You had truly hit oblivion because of Lee Heeseung’s cock. 

Heeseung’s pulls his cock out of you, and quickly pulls off the condom before he starts jerking his cock at a fast pace. The juices from your pussy on his fingers spreads over his cock evenly. “C’mere, baby– wanna cum on your face.” 

You numbly roll over onto your back, letting Heeseung kneel closer to your face. You could hear and see your juices squelch on his cock from how fast he was jerking his cock. 

“Please cum, daddy, wanna taste your cum so bad,” you speak up to him, fucked out. 

Finally, Heeseung cums, “Fuck, fuck Y/n,”. Not a second later that you feel warm droplets of his cum hit your face. They land on your cheeks, lips and nose. He lets out a final groan before he drops to sit down on the bed beside you. He watches as you lick away his cum that landed on your lips before her scoops up the remaining on your cheeks and nose, “Open,” you do as your told and let him stick his cum covered fingers into your mouth. He feels you hum around them at the taste of his cum and the remnants of yourself. “Good girl,” 

When he pulls out his fingers he leans down to press a kiss onto your lips before he lays down beside you, finally able to try catching his breath. His room is silent besides your heavy breaths. 

Heeseung glances over at you after a few moments, taking in your tired, naked body. He watches the few sweat droplets train down your neck and hairline. Your messy hair is sprawled around his pillow with your lips swollen. Your ass is red from his slaps and he’s sure your pussy is just as red and puffy. He thinks that he should get up to get you a towel or something, but you’re already getting up, reaching for your clothes. 

You don’t care what your hair or makeup looks like as you dress, reality finally sinking in about what deal you’ve made with Heeseung. How you can only fuck each other. You never would have thought that Lee Heeseung could stick to only fucking one girl, so how the hell would he want only fuck you? 

“You going?” Heeseung asks you lazily from his laying position on his bed, his bare chest not covered by the sheet that covers his lower half. 

“Yeah, I gotta finish a paper that’s due tomorrow,” you lie so easily to him. Heeseung doesn’t respond as he watches you put your shoes back on and head for his bedroom door, but you hear him shuffle around on his bed. When you turn back to him, holding the door halfway open before you leave, his back is facing you as he rolled over onto his side, “Oh and Heeseung?” 

“Yeah?” he mumbles to you, fatigue evident in his voice. 

“I’m sorry I hooked up with Hanbin.” you tell honestly now. 

It’s silent for a moment and you wonder if he fell asleep before, “It’s fine– don’t worry about it.” 

Heeseung hears you sigh and then leave his room, closing the door behind you. 

He feels weird now that you’ve left. It’s become a routine for you two that after you fuck, you get food or talk or just lounge around whatever place you’ve just fucked in. He thinks maybe it’s because he’s usually the one to leave so quick after hooking up with someone. It saves him some awkwardness and closes any option for a conversation. But, that was before he started hooking up with you. 

With you, it’s different. He likes talking to you, hanging out with you, hearing whatever stupid story you just have to tell him. He doesn’t know why it’s different, just that it’s with you. You stand up to him and challenge him. You’re not clingy or looking for a relationship. You understand that that is something he could never give you. And it tugs at his heart a little in a way he absolutely hates. Because Heeseung hates relationships and feelings and everything that comes along with them. 

And he hates that he’s thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with you. The past weeks have been hell for him because of his family, but when he would finally get some piece and quiet, all he would think about was you. Everytime he got a message from you it would clench his heart a little. But, he’s just too fucked up and he doesn’t want you to have to deal with all of his fucked up problems, too. 

Heeseung feels selfish a bit, telling you that he’s the only one that you can fuck. But, a deal is a deal, even if that means him being a little possessive over you. Because he knows that your little deal is the only thing he will truly ever have with just you, and nothing more. Because he’s Lee Heeseung, who doesn’t do relationship, and you’re Y/n, who doesn’t even want to be seen with him in public. 

As Heeseung contemplates the complex tide of his and yours secret arrangement, he couldn’t help but feel a longing for you, wishing that you stayed in his room with him, just a bit longer. 

After you and Heeseung had updated your deal, things seemed to go back to normal, at least the sex was. You would always text each other about when and where you needed the other. There was a comfortable rhythm, a balance almost. You would fuck, leave, text when your horny and repeat. 

Until one day when you had just finished hooking up in his car outside some stupid party you both were bored at. You were reaching for the car door when Heeseung asked if you wanted to get food or something, stay a little longer. You paused with your hand on the door knob and looked at him. 

“That’s not a part of our deal, is it, Hee?” you ask him with a knowing smirk. 

“Well, no, but I’m hungry,” 

You bit your lip as you contemplated his words, reaching your hand out to tangle your fingers in his hair, “I can’t, Shana and Dayeon are still inside, I’ll see you at school though, right?” 

Heeseung kept his masked smirk on his face at yours words, “Right,” 

“Enjoy McDonald’s for me.” You shove his shoulder before you get out of his camaro and head back inside to find your friends. 

Both of you let out a breath at the same time unknowingly. There was tension growing between you and neither one of you wanted to mention it. It would be better if it was ignored at all cost. Both of you had your reasons and it would just complicate things if it was brought up. But still, both of your hearts ached as you waved bye to Heeseung from the front porch as he drove away. 

After, you started to notice that Heeseung was texting you to meet up more often. You thought he just needed to destress at first, but now it seemed like he didn’t even want to fuck half the time you showed up. 

“You’re becoming clingy,” you tell him as you kiss down his neck as you were currently straddling his lap on your bed. 

“No, I’m not,” he replies instantly, feeling you smile into his skin. 

You sigh and wrap your arms around his shoulders as you look at him, “You are,” you keep the smile on your face. 

“No, I’m not, I’m just horny, so why don’t you suck my dick like the good girl I know you are?” 

You roll your eyes at him, but move down to be inbetween his legs, ready to make him cum for the one millionth time. 

After you told him you think he’s becoming clingy, his hook up texts slowed down, which only made you crave him more. Especially since it was mid term season and all you had time to do was study. No parties, no fun, no Heeseung hookups. 

One night, Shana and Dayeon were tired from studying and headed out to some party that they had begged you go to with them. With your refusal, they left without you so you could study for the rest of the night in peace. 

It was well past midnight when you heard your phone vibrate from somewhere under all your papers and textbooks. 

Heeseung (best dick evr)  are u awake? 

You  yeah

Heeseung (best dick evr)  ok good bc i’m outside

Shocked, you quickly threw on a hoodie over your tank top and headed to your apartment door. 

As you opened the door, sure enough, Heeseung was there. And he was drunk. You could tell just from looking at him, and when he walked past you into your apartment he’s been in so many times, you could smell it. 

“Heeseung, what’re you doing?” you asked him concerningly. 

“What? I came to see you,” he replies with a subtle, slurred speech. 

“Okay… but we are not fucking with you in a state like this,” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes, “I didn’t come to fuck you, I just wanted to see you.” 

His explanation hangs in the air before you sigh, “Okay, come to bed, Heeseung.” 

He so easily flops down onto your bed, giggling drunkenly to himself as he bounces upwards on the mattress. He watches as you quickly try to fix your hair in the mirror by your door. 

“C’mere pretty girl,” Heeseung reaches his arm out to try to reach you from across the room. 

You scoff at his words, “Oh god, now you’re complimenting me?” 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“You never do that,” 

Heeseung looks taken aback at your words, “What? I do all the time.”

“Saying my pussy is so wet and tight does not count, Hee.” 

Heeseung laughs at your words but he can still tell that you’re serious, “Okay, well I compliment you in my head all the time,” 

“Yeah? Like what?” 

“Like,” Heeseung draws out the word, “how you’re so pretty, and funny, and responsible and how you have a fuckin’ smoking hot body.” 

You cover your face in your hands at his words, not believing how drunk he is in your bed right now. 

“Come here,” he whines out to you, and pats the spot next to him on your bed. 

“Fine,” you tell him and let him pull you into your bed. You lay down beside him like he instructs you to. So now both of you are laying side by side. Your bedroom lights are turned off, with just the moonlight and streetlamp coming in through your window. 

When your room goes silent again, Heeseung speaks up, “I do mean it though, those compliments.” 

“Hm, do you?” 

“Yeah, I do, because I like you– more than anyone.” 

You glance over at him, his hood from his sweater is on his head as he lays down, his eyes are closed as he speaks to you, mumbling something about when he keeps his eyes open he feels like the room is spinning. 

You don’t know how to respond to his words, trying to decipher what he means by them. 

“Don’t believe me?” Heeseung’s eyes open as he turns his head to look at you. 

“I don’t know what to believe.” You tell him earnestly. 

Heeseung sighs, “I do like you Y/n, but I’m just too, like messed up.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, “What do you mean?” 

“Remember when we stopped talking a few weeks ago, because I said I had some shit to deal with?” With your nod, he continues, “Well it’s because my brother’s just gotten out of jail, and my parents are too drunk to help him. So I was helping him with money and to find a place to live and all that. He’s my best friend, so.” 

Your heart clenches at his confession, “What did your brother do, if I can ask?”

Heeseung waves his hand discardingly, “Took a the blame for my drunk parents crashing the car, nothing big.” 

“What? Heeseung that’s really big. Why would he do that?” your body turns to face him. 

Heeseung shrugs, “I don’t know, they’re drunks, but he’s always tried to help them– way more than I ever have. But he’s helped them, and now they aren’t even helping him. So I have to, because he’s my brother and he raised me.” 

You can’t help but reach your hand out to brush Heeseung’s bangs out of his face, “I’m sorry, Heeseung, that’s so tough. You’re so kind.” 

Heeseung shrugs, “I’m fine, it’s fine.” 

“Hee,” you call him, moving his chin so he looks at you, “You don’t have to be fine all the time, you can talk to me.” 

“Don’t say that to me.” 

“Why not?” 

“‘Cause it’ll just make me fall in love with you more.” 

Your heart raced with a mix of surprise and uncertainty as Heeseung’s words. It’s a drunk confession, and it leaves you with a torrent of emotions that are going to be difficult to untangle. 

Heeseung yawns then, rolling onto his side, “Night, Y/n.” 

“Night, Heeseung.” 

You try to sleep that night, but all you can think about is Heeseung’s words and how his warmth is radiating onto your back. It was the first time you had ever slept in the same bed together. You could smell his cologne, hear his light breaths, and feel everytime his hand shifted on your waist as he held you. You wondered if he’ll regret this in the morning. 

The morning sun crept through your curtain, casting a soft flow in the room as you and Heeseung woke up. Heeseung yawned before he realized how big of a headache he has. 

“Morning,” you tell him cautiously, remembering last night. 

“Morning,” Heeseung kept his hand on his head, the sunlight killing his head more. 

“Here,” you pass him the water and advil you kept on your nightstand. He gratefully took it, hoping it fixed his headache sooner rather than later. 

Heeseung glances down at both of your clothed bodies laying in your bed, “Did we?...” 

“No,” you shook your head, “You were so wasted.” 

Heeseung grins before plopping his head back against his pillow, “Yeah, sorry about that. The guys talkekd me into taking a break from studying and I guess I took too much of a break.” 

You crack a smile at his playfulness, “So you don’t remember much from last night?” 

Heeseung furrowed his brow as he tried to think, “Nah, I guess not a lot of it. I remember getting into an Uber and that’s it. Guess I can here.” He smiles cheekily at you. When he sees you don’t return his smile he asks, “Why? Did something happen?” 

You immediately shook your head, “No, nothing.” you forced a smile. Heeseung shrugged before pulling his hood over his eyes, complaining about your “shitty curtains”. 

As Heeseung left your apartment, quiet to not wake up your hungover roommates, you were left with a profound sense of not knowing what to believe or what to do. The revelation of Heeseung’s confession had messed you up. But the fact that he didn’t remember must about the event last night left you in a state of emotional limbo.

All you knew was that you could not fall in love with Lee Heeseung, no matter how tempting the general idea was. No, because falling in love with Lee Heeseung held consequences that you did not want to deal with. 

After the night Heeseung confessed to you and subsequently forgot about it, you avoided him at all costs. Whenever he would send you a text you would ignore it, your heart would arche with each unread message. If you spotted him in the hallays or around campus, you’d change your direction making a conscious effort to evade any interaction. 

Even the college parties that had once been a regular part of your social life were no longer an option. You knew that there was a high chance of running into Heeseung at one of them, and you couldn’t bear to face him under such circumstances. 

Your once thriving social and sex life had dwindled, replaced by a cloud of avoidance and self hatred as you grappled with the aftermath of his intoxicated confession. 

It didn’t take long for Shana and Dayeon to realize something was up with you, and this time, you told them everything. You told them about your not one, but two deals you’ve made with Lee Heeseung. How he had ignored your text messages because he had to deal with his family. How you hooked up with Hanbin. How Heeseung told you people think you’re a prude and shouldn’t be friends with them. And you told them how he had told you he loved you and had completely forgotten about it. 

You could tell that your friends were angry with you for keeping all of this from them for so long, for months, but most importantly they wanted to help you feel better. 

Dayeon spoke first, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to kepe this from us, Y/n. But you don’t have to go through this alone anymore.”

Shana nodded in agreement, “Of course, we’re you’re friends, and we’re here for you.” 

You felt tears well up in your eyes as you realized the depth of their support. You hadn’t realized how much you truly needed your friends until that moment. “Thank you guys,” you said, your voice weak, “I’ve just been, so confused.” 

Shana and Dayeon exchanged a knowing look before enveloping you into a tight group hug. “We’ll figure it out together,” Dayeon reassured you like always, “You’re not alone, no matter what’s going on with Heeseung or you.” 

You felt a warmth in your heart for the first time as you embraced your friends, grateful for their unwavering support during the most turbulent and confusing time in your life. 

You’ve felt better since you reconnected with Shana and Dayeon. It had brought you a sense of comfort and support. The weight that you had been carrying seemed a little lighter and you were grateful to have your frends by your side once again. 

When you went to meet up with them at lunch, you could tell from a distance that something was wrong. You could see it on their faces as you walked up the table. 

“Y/n, I have something to tell you,” Dayeon spoke when you sat down, eyes widened in a trouble expression. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked your friends. 

“Hanbin’s been going around telling people that he “fucked the college” prude.” 

You felt your heart sank at the news. “Me?” 

Both of them nodded at you with a disappointed look on their face, worried about you. You tried to calm yourself, feeling anger rise up inside of you that you hadn’t felt for months. You were tired of all the drama that came with frat boys and you wished you had listened to your gut and just avoided them all completely. 

You didn’t say anything as you stood, storming off to the side of the cafeteria where you knew Sung Hanbin and his frat usually ate lunch. And sure enough, they were there. A group of guys surrounding Hanbin as he told them some apparently funny story as they all laughed along with what he said.

“Hanbin,” you call out to him. The table going silent as they turn to see you. “I heard what you’ve been saying about me.” 

Hanbin looked taken aback as he glanced from you to his friends, “But it’s true though, no?” 

You roll your eyes, “Actually no, cause I am not a prude and the sex with you fucking sucked.” 

You notice how some of his friends have to cover their mouths to stifle their laughs, not being able to look at Hanbin as they did so. You could see the anger start to rise on Hanbin’s usually so-sweet face. 

“Whatever Y/n, it was just a joke anyways.” 

Your frustration boiled over, “A joke?” you snapped. “You know what Hanbin, Heeseung was right about you. You are a fucking asshole. So get off this little frat-boy-college-high-horse you seem to be on and come back to reality. Because maybe then you’d see how truly pathetic you are.” 

The weight of your words hung heavy in the cafeteria, everyone silent as you stand up to Hanbin. His expression shifted from playful to angry so quickly. 

“Heeseung?” Hanbin questions with a scoff, “Why don’t you go fuck him, too then, prude.” 

“Maybe I will, at least he’ll be able to find the clit.” 

Hanbin’s group of friends all gasp out into a fit of laughter as you walk away. You couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of satisfaction for standing up for yourself and defending your choices. You felt like you had some sense of control in your life, again. And maybe that would help make up your mind about at least some things. 

After a storm warning that would fill the entire city and cancelling all classes, you found yourself stuck at home. Which sucked because you really felt like partying for the first time in weeks. Your sense of self was slowly returning thanks to the reviatlized connection with your friends. You were starting to regain your confidence. 

As the rain poured down in torrents, your phone rang. Your heart stopped and you hesitated for amoment before you answered it. 

“Hello?” you asked into the line. 

“Hey,” Heeseung’s voice came through, sounding distant and shaky. “It’s me. I’m really cold and really wet. Can I come in? Please?” 

Your heart skipped a beat. It had been weeks since you had seen or spoken to him. You didn’t know what to expect as you dashed to your apartment door and swung it open. You were met with a sight that took your breath away. 

There, stood Lee Heeseung, drenched from head to toe, his hair clinging to his forehead and his clothes clinging to his frame. His expression was a mix of relief and vulnerability as he looked at you, rain drops trickling down his cheeks. 

“Y/n,” he said softly, his voice unsteady, “I’m so sorry for everything.” 

“What do you mean?” you ask him, your hand tightening on the doorknob. 

“I know I told you that I love you. I remember. I was just, scared.” Your jaw drops at his words, after all this time, he really remembered the confession. “But now I’m not.” Heeseung steps closer to you as he looks into your eyes, the most serious you’ve ever seen him, “I love you Y/n, and if I’m going to be rejected, I want to be rejected to my face– not by ignoring my messages or running away when you see me in the halls. So, there. I love you, and I mean it.” 

You stand there, jaw dropped as you take in his words. He’s here, standing here, soaking wet and so vulnerable as he tells you his true feelings. 

With your lack of response Heeseung starts to get antsy and begins to turn to leave you, “Wait, Heeseung,” you reach out and grab his wet sleeve, stopping him. “I can’t reject you to your face,” you shake your head at him, watching as his eyes drop to the floor, “but it’s because I love you, too.” 

Heeseung’s whole demeanor lights up the darken room, “Really?” 

You laugh, “Yes, really. I love you so much, Heeseung.” 

Heeseung doesn’t waste a minute before he’s reaching for you, pulling your face upwards to meet his in a feverish, passionate kiss. It was a kiss that conveyed a multitude of all the unspoken emotions you have felt for each other for so long. A blend of longing and desire that remained hidden for too long. Your fingers tangled in Heeseung’s wet hair while his cold hands held your cheeks. 

He tasted of his usual, mixed with rain and love. Time seemed to stand still as you shared the most intense kiss you have ever experienced. Your hearts beating in a quick unison, echoing the longing you had tried so hard to suppress. 

You dragged Heeseung into your bedroom with you, no longer caring if Dayeon or Shana heard you with him. 

Heeseung pushes you onto your back, stripping off his wet clothes, nodding at you to do the same. You both reconnect with him on top of you, lips meeting each others with a passionate fever. He lets his hand trail down to between your bodies, his fingers rubbing your clit gently. 

“Daddy,” you whimper out to him at the feeling.

Heeseung shakes his head no, pressing kisses into your neck, “Just call me, Hee, baby.” You nod at him, taking his face in your hands and kissing him, wanting to never stop. 

Heeseung leans back onto his knees, spreading your legs for him, he stares at your wet, core as he’s about to slide in his cock, “Shit, wait, do you have a condom?” he’s almost breathless when he asks. 

“Just fuck me raw, Hee, please.” you tell him, eyes begging from it. 

“Fuck, okay, baby.” Heeseung leans over to kiss you, “You sure?” 

You smile against his lips, “Yes I’m sure, please.” With one more final kiss, Heeseung slides his cock into you slowly, letting both ofyou feel his bare cock sldie against your velvet walls. 

“Holy shit, Y/n.” Heeseung curses, “Seriously, holy shit, you feel so good.” You can only whimper in response as you feel every vein of his cock go up your mesh walls. You mewl and whine until Heeseung’s completely inside of you, holding your legs still from moving, “Just slipped right in, so good.” 

“Hee,” you call for him, your face completely blissed out from his cock. “Move, please.” 

Heeseung nods, listening to you as he starts to thrust his hips back and forth. Your pussy’s so wet that it lets his cock move so easily. It makes you both feel like you’re in heaven. You keep moaning out, edging Heeseung on as he keeps building his pace slowly. His fingers find your clit, rubbing slow, gentle circles around it. He groans out when he feels your clench around his bare cock tighter. 

“Fuck, you’re so deep, Hee.” you tell him, “Feels so good.” 

“I know, baby, I know.” Heeseung nods, “Like you’re made for my cock.” His words make your groan out more. They have such an affect on you that he’ll never truly understand. 

Heeseung’s grip on your legs tightens as he slowly picks up his pace, feeling himself grow closer to his orgasm already. Your wet, velvet walls keep sucking him in with every thrust, tightening around him everytime his thumb swivels against your swollen clit. 

“God, yes, fuck your pussy, Heeseung, yes,” you nod at him, grip tightening on the sheets as he fucks deeper and deeper into you. 

“Fuck, who’s pussy is it?” 

“Yours, Hee, all yours.” 

Heeseung grunts out, eyes closing as he fucks you. His thrusts are getting sloppier, never feeling so good before. Your wall just keep sucking him in, wanting to keep him inside of you. 

“Are you gonna cum?” You ask him, recognizing when he’s close by now. 

“Not without you, baby, please cum on my cock, wanna feel it bare.” Heeseung nods, his thumb circling your clit harder and faster and he keeps thrusting his dick inside of you. In and out with his just his hips rolling so perfectly. 

“Fuck!” you cry out, “I’m gonna cum, don’t stop.” 

“I won’t, baby, just cum, I got you, just let go.” Heeseung’s voice is stern when he speaks, despite his chest heaving so quickly. 

With his words, you hit your climax, a high pitch moan coming out of your mouth before Heeseung covers your mouth with his hand, trying to keep you quiet for the sake of your roommates. Your orgasm has you shaking, soaking Heeseung’s bare cock while he fucks you through it, feeling your wells throb around him, edging him on to his own orgasm. 

“God, you’re such a good girl,” Heeseung shakes his head at you. 

“Want you to cum, Heeseung– wanna feel your cum in my pussy.” you tell him, your hands holding onto his forearms as he leans over you, dropping your legs and holding himself up on the bed. “Please, wanna feel it drip out of me so bad.” 

“Oh God, oh God, fuck, baby-,” Heeseung finally cums, throwing his head back as he reaches his climax, feeling completely blissed out. You keep moaning as you feel his cum shoot up inside of you for the first time. The warmth spreading over your walls. “I love you,” Heeseung leans down to kiss you, his lips not leaving yours until you push him away for air. 

“I love you, too.” 

Heeseung very slowly pulls out of you, both of you watching as his white cum starts to dribble out of you. Heeseung groans as he watches your swollen pussy leak his cum, thinking to himself that he’ll never get use the sight of it. He scoops up his cum and you open your mouth, already knwoing by now what he wants you to do. You hum around his fingers as you drink the substance off of them. Your tongue circles his fingers, making him tell you to stop or he’ll get hard again. 

When you’ve calmed down, Heeseung lifts you and brings you to the shower with him. He tells you that he’s been wanting to shower with you and take care of after sex for so long now, but he was scared. You reassure him that there’s nothing to be scared of now. That it’s him and you and that you love each other. 

Heeseung does what he’s always wanted to do, washes your body after he ruins you, wanting to take care of you. He kisses all over your body as he cleans you, whispering about how much he loves you over the shower water running. 

And you let him fuck you again after, up against the shower wall. The slowest, loveliest sex you’ve ever had. His hands carressing every part of you as he tells you what a beautiful girl you are and how he’s so lucky to have you, so lucky to be able to fuck your pussy. How he never wants to lose you. 

And when he’s done cleaning you up again, you lay in your bed together, warm as outside thunders and rains so heavily. You lay in each others embrace as your souls finally connect together in peace. 

“You know,” you start, “did you really believe the rumour that I was a prude before you met me?” 

Heeseung shrugs, “Yeah, I guess.” You gasp playfully at his answer. “What? You believed the rumour that I had a daddy kink.”

“What?” 

“I mean, I never even tried that whole daddy think until I met you– I thought you had the daddy kink.” 

Your jaw remains open at his words, “I can’t believe you right now, Hee.” 

Heeseung laughs as he pulls you closer into his chest under the covers, “C’mere, baby, let daddy take care of you.” 

“Heeseung!” 

Your bedroom is filled with laughter as you continued to talk about all the wasted time you two could have shared together if neither of you were so scared and stubborn. The rain was still pouring outside, trapping the two of you in your bedroom for days. With your hands intertwined and hearts pounding together. 

Neither of you know what will happen when people find out the college prude is dating the notorious frat president, but neither of you cared, finding complete solace in each other. As you keep each other close, you know that you were no longer fighting the riptides of uncertainty alone, but together you will navigate the waters. Your connection was stronger than ever as you brace yourselves for whatever might happen in the unpredictable currents of life. 

@ taeghi, 2023. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

stay safe everyone :)

sweet venom (l. hs, p. js)

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader x alpha jay

genre. gasp….and they were roommates AU, basketball player Heeseung, bartender Jay, M/F, pwp, one shot

warnings. profanity, A/B/O dynamics, former step-sibling relations, denial of feelings, alcohol mentioned, Jay’s a little manipulative, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.

wc. 18k+

now playing. Sweet Venom//Enhypen

smut warnings. unprotected sex, rough/angry sex, dom heejay, degradation, overstimulation, spanking, slick, squirting, oral, orgasm denial, knotting, possessiveness, etc

—————————————————————- “If you had listened to me in the first place this wouldn’t be happening.”

Whether or not your mother is right, the last thing you care to hear on top of your stress is how this is your fault.

“This is what you get for being so indecisive.” She says while gathering your hair to one side with a sigh. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to afford your own apartment with that part-time job.”

“Thanks mom.”

“I will lend you as much as I can sweetie, but rent around that area is not cheap.” Her fingers scratch at the back of your scalp to soothe the tension stiffening its way up your spine, humming as she ponders. “You know..”

“Hmm?” You ask tiredly, scrolling through various listings for a room to rent at the least until next semester.

“I think Heeseungie lives out there now, if I remember correctly.” She says, whipping out her phone to confirm. “I remember him posting about moving and having trouble finding a roommate a few months back.”

“Oh, Heeseung..” you stray off a bit, snapping yourself out of it quickly. “Does he?”

That name feels similar to sour candy burning your tongue just to speak out loud again, itching at your tonsils as you clear your throat nervously. “I mean, why does that matter?”

“I could ask him to let you stay with him for awhile!” She smiles, tapping open her messages before you can shout out ‘NO!’.

“Mom, please— do not bother him.” You shrink, slumping against the dinner table. “Heeseung’s not going to want to do that. It’s been years since I last saw him. Asking him to let me crash is way too imposing and rude..”

“Don’t be so silly sweetie, he’s your brother.” 

“No he’s not!” You say abruptly, clearing your throat and sinking deeper into your seat embarrassed. “I mean— technically not even my step-brother anymore! You’ve been divorced for two years.”

“He’ll always be your brother,” she reassures with a pleased grin. “Heeseungie’s always been so polite and giving. It’s not a big deal. What is family for if not to be there for you when you need them the most?”

The repetition makes your stomach twist, inducing nausea the more she continues raving about your… former step-brother. As much as you wished for that to be the case, you couldn’t help but feel bitter, because your mother’s right. 

Heeseung is polite, charming, all around loved by everyone; respectful and sweet enough to make your teeth rot. Never failing to remind you that he’d always have your back, that you can always count on your big brother.

and more than anything, you wished he wouldn’t.

“Let me keep looking first? Please?” You practically grovel, widening your eyes despairingly for some sympathy.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” your mom snickers, sitting down by your side. “He hasn’t posted anything much ever since he moved. Mostly just game updates. Don’t know how he still finds time to always play these mobile games.”

“I’ll find a place! I don’t need Heeseung to pity me.” You say with more determination as you scroll faster, wondering if you can up your budget to at least $1200 for rent; not that it’d help much considering even a shoebox of a room was beyond out of your price range.

“It’s not pity you big sourpuss!” Your mother continues, childishly sticking her tongue out at you. “I’ll ask him right now if he can grab a bite tomorrow and we can talk in person about this.”

“Mom, come on!”

“Ramen should do the trick! Hee always had the biggest smile on his face when we’d take him out to that one spot in Hongdae… what was it called again?”

As your mother devises her plan, you can’t stop your mind from reeling; accessing the different steps you could have taken to avoid this predicament.

Maybe Heeseung isn’t even hot anymore.

No. That’s not possible. 

Worse.

He could be hotter.

Instinctively your bottom lip pouts at the thought of him possibly growing more attractive in the last few years. Swearing to yourself to never lurk his social media— not that there was much to lurk to begin with.

Okay, you lurked, and came up empty each time to only sense excitement from ominous updates of song lyrics and blurry photos he’d post once every 8 months.

Even his lack of presence online is attractive.

Sickening, actually. 

Of all the men on this planet your mother had to marry, it had to be Mr. Lee. It had to be the mogul Mr. Lee with the ridiculously attractive son that you maybe have had a crush on since the first time you saw him playing basketball with the older kids as your Kindergarten class made their trip to the bathroom. Ridiculous that even to this day you remember the way a 7 year old Heeseung dribbled past a group of upperclassmen and shot a perfect three pointer.

“It’s settled! Oh I’m so excited!” Your mom squeaks proudly. “I’ll treat Seungie to lunch tomorrow and schmooze him into letting you crash for a while.”

“Mommmmm,” you whine, banging your forehead on the table. “Please please don’t pester him. Please, I know he won’t say no! Don’t pressure him!”

Clicking her tongue, she flicks your arm. “A thank you would be nice here! And a fruit basket too! For when your mother saves your ass from sleeping with roaches in those overpriced studios.”

Saves your ass? You would scoff if it wouldn’t lead to a smack to the back of your skull. 

Without a doubt Hee would agree to you moving in, and without a doubt you’d have to learn how to endure his existence. 

Fuck me.

Wait. No. Don’t fuck me. 

I mean. 

Maybe.

“Yeah yeah,” you grunt, shoving up to stand and immerse yourself in an ice cold shower at the mere memory of your step-brother walking around the house shirtless after basketball practice. Sweaty, obscenely sweaty and shirtless.

God. If Heeseung hasn’t become acquainted with properly dressing himself yet, you’re definitely fucked.

And the ugly thought rears its head as you step into the shower and let the chilled water pour down your skin.

There’s no way Heeseung hasn’t presented.

And there’s absolutely no way he isn’t an Alpha.

—————————————————————-

Of course Heeseung agreed to let you move in rent free, in fact he even offered an empty bedroom since his roommate had just moved out a month ago and none of the applicants had been convincing.

But you, of course he ‘smiled ear to ear without hesitation, eagerly bouncing up and down in his seat excitedly’ as your mother recounted.

“I told you he wouldn’t say no..” you grumble from the passenger seat of the U-haul your mom was nice enough to rent to help you with moving your things.

“Well, yes! Heeseung’s always had such a soft spot for you.” 

A soft spot. Something like that. 

To be fair you hadn’t been the best at keeping your relationship strong over the last few years. Once he moved to the city for university it’d become a lot harder to stay in touch, already bad enough after that awkward period while you were still in high school and he transitioned to college.

“Does he know?”

Your mother hums confused, glancing at you quickly. “Know what sweetie?”

“That I presented.”

“Oh,” she ponders out loud, adding small sounds of confusion. “I don’t think I mentioned that, but Heeseung didn’t ask. We all knew you’d present Omega someday, darling. I’m sure it’s fine. Besides you always had such a strong brother sister relationship, your sub-genders shouldn’t affect that.”

He didn’t ask because he doesn’t care. That’s why, because why would he? Your mom’s right, your bond was nothing more than that of a caring protective older brother who stuck by your side and watched out for you. Even if you wished for more.

“Wow, real nice place huh? Mr. Lee must pay a pretty penny to house him here.”

A luxury tower complex greets you as you step out of the vehicle, neck aching from having to peer up just to see where it ends high up in the clouds. “It’s really close to school though! Walking distance!” Your mother’s cheerful tone calms your nerves for a few seconds, listening to her explain everything Heeseung told her about the area. “There’s a gym, pool area, coffee shop in the lobby. Seriously, I’m going to owe that boy multiple free ramen lunches.”

By the time she’s managed to talk your ear off you’ve made it to the 8th floor, standing before a door with 3 numbers and a fancy keycard lock. 

“Oh!” The door flies open as your mom digs through her purse for the spare card Heeseung had given her, unveiling a well built bleached blonde Alpha dawning a face of shock. “Wha—“

“Oh sorry! Is this not apartment 335?”

“This is 335..” his eyes go wide, fingers snapping. “My bad! Heeseung told me his step-sister—“

“I’m not his step sister. Our parents are divorced.” You say abruptly, creating awkward tension between the three of you.

“Right, uh,” the guy, exuding stereotypical pompous Alpha energy, smirks, taking a step back from the doorway to smoothly run his gaze up and down. “You must be—“

“Not his step-sister.” Your mom intervenes with a playful laugh. “My apologies for my daughter, she can be a little—“

“Mom!”

“Ahh, a little feisty!” She says pinching your cheek before returning her attention to the now extremely confused Alpha. “Are you one of Heeseung’s friends?”

“Oh yeah, I’m his roommate.” He shares with a boxy grin. “Names Jay.”

“Roommate?! Oh Heeseung said you moved..”

“Jake moved.” He nods, clearing his throat. “We have three rooms, his has been empty for a few weeks now.”

“Oh that’s great! Well if you don’t mind young man, we’ll probably be making a bit of noise while we bring her things up.”

“Totally fine, I was on my way to the gym, but,” Jay finds your eyes, biting down on his lower lip. “Let me help you, I’m sure the furniture will be too heavy to carry on your own.”

“Isn’t that sweet!” Your mother squeals, patting his arm on her way in to drop the bags you carried up. “Wow this is a great place! What a view!”

Jay licks over his lips, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed watching as you and your mom explore. Heeseung hadn’t mentioned how attractive his not step-sister is.

“He’s cute.” Your mom whispers, bumping an elbow into your side with a look over your shoulder. “I saw a liquor store down the street. So you have no excuse to blow up my phone a month from now to tell me that you’re knocked up.”

“Mom!”

“What!” She giggles, jokingly glaring at you as you finish packing your drawers full of clothes and break down the last box. Jay had been a great help and managed to cut down the time of this excruciating moving process by a lot. Not to mention he ended up swapping the baggy t-shirt he had on for a snug fitted black tank top now covered in sweat.

“Do you like that position?” He speaks up out of breath, snapping your attention to where he’s finished setting up your bed in the middle of the room.

“What?!”

Jay smirks, eyes disappearing behind the amusement. “Your bed, I can move it closer to the window if you’d like.”

“Oh no, that’s perfect.”

“Ah, I won’t have time to treat you to ramen today, young man.” Your mom apologizes, reaching for her wallet. “But I really can’t thank you enough for all of your help today, should fifty dollars cover a meal for the two of you?”

“Don’t worry about that—“

“Thanks mom.” You cut him off, snatching the money and side eyeing him. “We’ll eat something good, promise.”

“Okay sweetie, I need to get going before it gets dark outside and traffic hits. It’s a long drive as is, ah I am going to miss having you around the house so much.”

“I’m only a phone call away mom.”

“Be good,” cupping your face, she gives you a knowing look, adding a wink. “Remember what I said about that liquor store.”

“Mommmmmm!”

“Okay okay, lovely to meet you Jay! Thanks again for all of your help.” Squeezing him into a goodbye hug, she frowns and laments about not being able to see Heeseung today, adding another twenty to the bills in your hand with mention to buy him some dinner too. “He’ll probably be so exhausted after practice.”

Jay waves at your mother from behind you at the door, humming to himself. “Heeseung’s not at practice.” He corrects under his breath.

“What?” Turning back to him and shutting the door, you suddenly feel an anxious swoop curl through your stomach. Cowering against the front entrance to create more space between your bodies.

“Heeseung doesn’t have basketball practice today.” Jay states, pulling out his phone with a nod. “Yeah no, he’s hanging out with Yujin right now.”

“Oh.” Your lack of response is enough for Jay to pick up on your confusion, waving off what he just mentioned. “Just a fuck buddy, nothing serious, but I’m pretty sure he won’t be back until late. Let’s get some food, yeah?”

Oh. A fuck buddy. A fuck buddy he’s been with all day.

“He did mention I’d be moving in today, right?”

“Yeah.” Jay shrugs, pulling the hem of his tank up to wipe his chin free of sweat. Stomach muscles clenched tight on purpose. “Sorry I forgot earlier, I had a long night at work and—“

“Why don’t you pick out whatever you want to eat. I’m going to hop in the shower really quick.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I feel disgusting. I’m not picky so choose whatever you want.” You nod, keeping your gaze focused on anything other than the muscles lining his hips. 

“Alright, sounds good.”

—————————————————————-

“Shit I thought she was coming tomorrow.” 

“Dude why didn’t you tell me?”

“Man, I’m sorry I thought I did. God, I feel like such a dick.”

“Not about that! I mean why didn't you tell me how fucking hot she is??”

“What?”

“Hey, is she singl—“

Jay’s jaw hangs, trailing off when he spots you near the hallway entrance still soaked with a sheen of water coating your skin and a towel wrapped tightly around your figure.

Heeseung’s gaze follows shortly, losing the ability to shut his mouth as well at the sight of you.

“Hee?”

“Shit.” He mutters under his breath, balling his hands into tight fists at his sides and forcing a smile. “Wow! Look at how much you’ve grown!”

The scent hits him next, a sweet toasted vanilla wrapped around crispy marshmallow that has his knees buckling in an instant. Jay gulps by his side, noting to himself that your scent hadn’t been this strong earlier, you probably had scent blockers on.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be back already..” you mumble shyly, suddenly too aware of the sets of eyes focused on your mostly bare skin.

Heeseung can feel his teeth grinding, reaching up to pull the collar of his shirt up higher to cover up what he knows are early signs of love bites after hours in Yujin’s bed. “Jay ordered food, I think it just got here. Go get dressed so we can eat and catch up.” 

He won’t admit it now but the longer you stand there allowing for another Alpha to see you like this, the more his nails dig into the palm of his hand. It’s because he still thinks of you as his younger sister, no other reason..

“I’ll be fast.” Heeseung’s eyes fail to shift away until he can no longer see you pass down the hall. The tension weighing on his shoulders only dissipates once he hears the sound of your bedroom door clicking shut.

“My guess is she didn’t look like that before—“

A growl rises up the Alphas throat, quickly snapping back to his roommate. “She’s off limits.”

“What?! You can’t be serious!” Jay scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“As a heart attack, don’t even think about it.”

“She’s not even your step-sister anymore. Believe me, she only corrected me about 5 thousand times whenever I even alluded to it.”

“I’m fucking serious.”

“What if she comes on to me first?!?” Jay crosses his arms, grinning cockily. “I saw her checking me out earlier, and it’s only natural. A sweet sweet Omega like that, all cute with those come-fuck-me eyes.”

“Shut the hell up.” Heeseung growls, ready to lunge at his friend if not for your feet padding way back into the room with an all too adorable smile on your face.

“Hee!”

Anger drains from his limbs, forgetting of his friend's existence as he takes in your sparkling gaze and bright smile, instinctively reaching to cup your face and smooth his thumbs across your cheeks. “Haven’t grown out of this baby face yet..”

Jay rolls his eyes, mumbling too quietly for either of you to pick up on. “Anyway, enough of this Flowers in The Attic bullshit. I’m starving, not gonna wait for your reunion to finish to eat.”

Between pausing to chat and laugh, the takeout before you goes cold, more interested in catching up with Heeseung than stuffing your very empty stomach. Jay sits across the table curiously observing the back and forth banter between the two of you, devouring the boxes of beef broccoli and chow mein on his own without anyone to slap his chopsticks away.

“So, how was your date with Yujin?” He interrupts, growing tired after an hour of conversation that grows more oddly flirtatious by the minute. Heeseung chokes on a mouthful of fried rice, punching his chest to push the small pieces of vegetable down, glaring at his friend.

“It wasn’t a date, she needed help.. with something.”

Jay sneers, leaning back with flex his biceps over his chest. “What about you?” He turns toward you, eyebrows raised inquisitively. “Single? Playing the field? Desperately seeking an Alpha on mate match?”

“Jay.” Heeseung says sternly, watching your reaction from the corner of his eye, undeniably intrigued to know more himself.

“I guess I’m single.” You mumble, shaking your head. “No no, I mean— I’m very single.” 

It’s more embarrassing to admit after noticing spots of red and purple decorating Heeseung’s collarbone with each slight movement he makes, but the contemplation to lie about your relationship status quickly gets shoved aside by the thought of getting caught. The idea of your gorgeous former step-brother, childhood crush, new roommate- whatever he is now, discovering you made up an entire nonexistent Alpha to keep up some facade in front of him would only humiliate you further.

“What about you guys??” You cough, eager to move the attention away from your lack of a love life.

“Single as a pringle.” Jay smiles, adding a wink.

“Who says that?” You grimace, squirming under his continuous cheesy come ons.

Heeseung clears his throat, tugging the hood around his neck tighter. “Yeah, same.”

“Oh, so who’s Yujin?” The question comes out casually, stirring the rice around on your plate to form a circle. “Jay said something earlier..”

“Just a friend.”

“Yeah, I told you, it’s not serious.” Jay gets up, holding a palm out for you to high-five. “I gotta get ready for work, but it’s been great getting to know you. Welcome to the Alpha bachelor pad, roomie.”

Reluctantly you slap his hand, tugged forward by his fingers wrapping around yours with another playful raise of his eyebrows before he exits.

“Sorry about him.” Heeseung groans, shaking his head. “He’ll get used to you in a few weeks, he didn’t grow up around Omegas.”

“You didn’t either.”

Heeseung’s mouth opens, shutting again with a frown. “I guess you’re right.. but I mean..”

He trails off tongue-tied for a minute as memories flood back to the terrible years of puberty experienced by your side. Unruly hormones, acne, body hair, random growth spurts, and in your case- a menstrual cycle that caused you enough pain to cry curled up in your bed.

The first time he found you rolled into a fetal position with your face swollen from crying ripped through his chest, immediately sinking to his knees by your bed to comfort you and find out what you needed. A smile creeps onto his face remembering how often he’d find himself crawling into your bed everyday after, or vice versa.

“Hey, do you still have those nightmares?”

“Nightmares? Oh yeah, I do.. you remember that?”

“Of course I remember.” The Alpha leans over, pulling you in close with an arm around your shoulder. “You can still come to me, you know, if it’s hard to sleep.”

“Oh..”

“Like you used to.”

A lump forms in your throat at the reminder, easing into the warmth of his side with an uncomfortable smile. When neither of you had presented it was innocent enough to cuddle and hug through the night, scenting until you felt calm enough to fall asleep again.

At least that’s what you thought until the day you got caught and your mom had a long talk with you about ‘Alphas and Omegas’ aka ‘The Birds and The Bees’.

“Would that be okay?” You say apprehensively, turning to look at him. “If we.. did that now?”

Confusion paints Heeseung’s features, easily shrugging with a pouted lip. “I don’t see why not.”

Although every cell in your body says otherwise, you nod in agreement with a soft smile, curling further into his side. “I’ve really missed having you near by.”

“I’ve missed you so much pup.”

There’s always been something about the way Heeseung holds you, fully embraced as his hands(now much larger) slide up and down your back in a slow soothing manner. The way his face tucks into your neck and his nose rests against your scent gland. He’s always felt right, like a safe place to hide, like home.

Maybe that’s why you took up his offer and ended up standing outside of his bedroom door past 4 in the morning.

Nightmares have been a consistent part of your life since childhood. Most seemed to stem from anxiety, stress and emotions you had never been able to handle while awake that followed you through sleep and haunted your dreams. Sleep medication had become easy to use after numerous doctor visits that had you test out various methods, it wasn’t until the day Heeseung bundled up around you in bed that you finally got a good night of sleep without the aid of pills.

It’s not right for Alphas and Omegas to practice these types of activities unmated, but he’s single.. as are you. It’s not hurting anyone, yet.

Heeseung, still mostly asleep, welcomed you into his bed without hesitation. Effortlessly falling back into the same position he held in for years; except for one thing. Instead of laying his face between the crook of your neck, his nose nuzzled into your hair, cradling you close to his chest. Even as preteens he always carried a hint of earthy tone between the faded light scent of creamy milk. Taking deep breaths of the Alphas pajama shirt smashed down every button of relaxation in your system, eyes falling shut as the next breath passed from your lips.

“Wow,” he says sleepily against your hair. “Forgot how good this feels.”

Too good, you only wish you could say, lulled to sleep faster than you’ve been able to in a very long time. 

And Heeseung’s a vision straight from your dreams to wake up besides, propped up on one elbow with a gentle smile. “Hungry?” 

He says it’s not a problem, that he likes to cook, that he likes to cook for you. Scrambling eggs and shredding potatoes for the two of you with a please smiled. “How’d you sleep?” 

Setting down a mug filled with hot coffee and a steaming hot plate of food, he sits by your side again, feeling extra clingy this morning.

“Amazing.” You say, blowing at the steam flowing up from the mug. “This is great, I’m sorry about last night, for disrupting your sleep.”

“Oh, don’t.” Heeseung motions to cut you off, stuffing his mouth full of food. “I don’t think I’ve slept that good in years, even my body feels great today.”

He goes on explaining how the basketball team’s chiropractor always has to work on the kinks in his neck and back, leading you to cup his nape with concern and massage at the stiff muscle.

“Good morning.” Jay mutters, trudging past you to the kitchen half-awake. “Well, not good morning, just needed water.” His eyes fall shut, head pressed to the coolness of the fridge as he refills the water bottle brought from his room.

“How was work?” 

Jay grunts, his hair a mess from colliding straight to his bed instead of hopping in the shower after another long shift. “Were the tips good at least?”

“Very.” Jay blinks, standing up straight at the view he finds with a squint. “Uh..”

Oblivious to his judging eyes, you continue to knead at Heeseung’s shoulders and neck, pushing into his seat behind him with your thighs draped around his. “What about the two of you, have a good night?”

Heeseung shrugs, softly hissing as you work harder to massage a knot in his shoulder. 

“Right, well..” Jay gulps down half of his water, observing how suspiciously close the two of you seem. “Going back to sleep, see ya.”

“What time does he usually get home?” You ask, smoothing down the Alphas arms with light squeezes. 

“Really late.” Heeseung adjusts to sit near the end of the seat, forming more space between your bodies. Knowing his friend all too well. He didn’t miss Jay’s wary questioning look and confused wrinkles lining his forehead. “I should uh..” he gets up abruptly, picking up your breakfast plates. “Get going soon, practice today.”

“Oh okay!” Just like old times, you stand up to lay a kiss on his cheek and hug around his waist. “Good luck! And be careful.”

Heeseung shivers, swallowing down the itch growing up his throat. “Thanks pup.”

You knew over the next week that crawling your way back to the Alphas bed wasn’t the smartest thing to do, especially after daily phone calls with your mom choosing to omit that small detail. It’s not like it would end up happening night after night, except it did.

Every night you’d make your way to his bedroom again, even without the excuse of a nightmare you returned to lay your head on his chest, accepted and embraced each time.

Hanging out with Heeseung everyday had become routine, after you’d come home from work and he’d clean up after practice, you’d end up together in the living room eating whatever he cooked up for the two of you as Jay would pass through to dismiss himself for the evening and head to work.

In the back of your mind you knew the real reason you kept turning down your coworkers' invites to go out was to spend more time with Heeseung. Things felt normal again between the two of you, other than the guilty feeling you kicked aside time and time again whenever you’d wake up and stare at each other for a few minutes before making breakfast.

It wasn’t until your day off a few weeks later when you fell asleep on the couch after staying up recounting fun memories with the Alpha that you had another nightmare.

“Hey hey hey,” Heeseung rushed in from the kitchen, catching the sound of escalating whimpers and heavy breaths. Shaking your shoulders, he helps you to sit up, immediately searching your distressed face. “Bad dream?”

Without needing to explain, you fall into his arms and loop around his shoulders, hiding a whine in the material of his shirt. The clear sour scent of fear makes his nose twitch, cooing and repeating soft strokes up your back to calm you down. “It’s okay, I’m here now pup.”

“Alpha.” Feeling vulnerable after growing used to his presence, you turn to press against his scent gland, erupting shivers up his spine.

Heeseung’s chest tightens, heart pounding rapidly at the first drag along his throat, shaking under the deep inhale you take in that only seems to drain all of the anxiousness from your body. “That's a good puppy.” He manages to whisper, gathering your hair away from your neck just to look. 

It’s one thing if you scent him, but as an Alpha he should know better than to take advantage of a vulnerable Omega..

As if you read his mind, you turn to rest your cheek against his shoulder, fully exposing the expanse of your throat and nodding. “It’s okay.”

Heeseung’s tongue feels heavy with thirst, blood boiling through his veins, an itch running up his chest. “Are you sure?”

“Please Alpha..”

He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, but every part of him wants to. 

Dropping his face only an inch forward he takes a long inhale, hit hard by your scent this up close. A sweet thick blanket of warmth and sugar wraps around him, heavily laid on his shoulders pushing him forward more until his nose plants along your throat and he gets lost in a cloud of your scent.

It’s different now, much more different than when you were innocent kids. Heeseung can’t ignore the coil of heat rolling up his stomach, the heaviness building between his legs, and he especially can’t ignore the twitch that jolts his cock up.

“Woahhh.” Jay lets out an awkward laugh, backing away half awake, attempting to shield his bare chest. “Sorry dude, I didn’t know you had a girl ov—“

“Huh?”

“Oh what the..” Jay stumbles into the hallway opening, reaching to rub his eyes because he must be half asleep still. Blinking furiously, he refocuses, jaw dropping as he finds your confused gaze and Heeseung’s annoyed glare. “Oh..”

Heeseung coughs to break the cumbersome air beginning to fill the room, softly squeezing your sides as he shifts to silently maneuver you off of his lap.

“Sorry man.” Jay forces a smile, nodding as if to say he understands. “Thought you had a girl over, forgot about uhm..” trailing off he smirks at the frown drawing your lips down, shrugging apologetically.

Heeseung takes a swig from a water bottle, a sense of shame washing over him similar to the one your parents instilled years ago. 

“..didn’t know scenting was a thing siblings still did as adults..” Jay continues, teetering an accusing tone. “As pups.. sure, maybe.”

“We’re not siblings.” Heeseung’s quick to correct, moving to stand and drop this conversation before it can even start. “You hungry?” He asks you with a lit up easy-going smile to keep you calm. 

“Pancakes?” You say shyly, curling into the couch.

“Of course.” Winking, he motions for you to stay put and makes his way to the kitchen, brushing off his roommate’s suspicious commentary.

“Hmm, I could go for some pancakes too, you know.” Jay chides, following after him into the kitchen. “Especially after waking up to this..” he sniffs at the air, letting out a pleased sigh as he leans against the counter. “So sweet.”

Heeseung’s back tenses, neck muscles stiffening, and teeth clenching as he proceeds to move around in search of ingredients to whip up your favorite fluffy buttermilk pancakes. 

“That’s crazy.” Jay hops onto the counter still in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. “Her scent is so so sweet.. I wouldn’t be able to scent someone so casually like that..”

Heeseung goes on ignoring him, beginning to mix up flour with cream and turn on the stove to melt down the flavor of cinnamon sticks in sugary water.

Jay loudly sucks at the air behind him, savoring the hint of flavor teasing his tongue. “Probably don’t even need syrup for those pancakes, I bet she has the sweetest tastiest sli—“

“That’s enough.” Heeseung snaps around, growling between his teeth. “Do not fucking talk about her like that.”

Jay grins, hopping off the counter to stand before his friend, bare feet stomping across the kitchen floor arrogantly with arms crossed over his chest. “You know, when you said your step-sister would be crashing with us for a while..”

“She’s not my step-sister.” Heeseung says threateningly, as if to dare his roommate to say that one more time and see what happens.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, your parents separated.” Jay waves him off, pointing a finger at his face. “But, not by law, I mean technically speaking..”

“She’s not.” Heeseung rolls his eyes, turning back to stir the syrup, half distracted by the taste of your scent still wrapped around his tongue. “It’s not a big deal, she has bad dreams sometimes.”

Jay hums for him to continue, pulling out a bowl of strawberries to cut up for the pancakes.

“Scenting calms her down.” Heeseung says just above a whisper, eyes shifting to the side to find Jay’s. “I know it’s not common, since we’re not even really siblings and all..” 

‘You can’t scent her! Do you even understand what an Omega carrying your scent around implies?! And not just any Omega, but your step-sister!’

His father proceeded to slap him across the head, lecturing him on the proper etiquette between Alpha and Omegas alike, disappointment riddling his tired features the more he unleashed on him after finding the two of you cooped up in bed drenched in each other's scents. ‘What’s the point of paying so much for you to attend that ridiculously priced academy if they don’t even bother to teach you this!’

Flinching at the memory, he looks away, scooping out the cinnamon sticks from the pot of thickened liquid. “I can’t say no to her, alright?” He says finally, pleading for his friend to drop it.

Jay chuckles, grabbing three plates to help more. “Oh believe me, I’ve noticed that.”

Assorting the pancakes as Heeseung passes them over, he shrugs, that explanation seems reasonable enough..

“But..”

Heeseung sighs, shutting off the stove with an annoyed huff. “What? Spit it out.”

“I won’t lie, the way you treat her confuses me.” Jay says, sliding open a drawer to grab forks. “Like, if she told you to grab the moon for her, I have no doubt in my mind that you’d figure it out..”

Scoffing, Heeseung flips him off playfully. “Don’t be ridiculous, she’s—“

“Not your sister.” Jay interrupts with an evil smirk. “She’s just some girl you cater to like a pathetic dog? I’ve never seen you like that, with anyone.”

Heeseung’s glare intensifies, hating that he’s making you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it as his friend points this out.

“Don’t get me wrong dude but,” Jay laughs, head shaking. “You even rushed out to buy her menstrual pads and heat suppressors last week. Aren’t you a bit embarrassed?! An unmated Alpha out in public purchasing that type of stuff is..”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is.” Jay clicks his tongue, reaching to smack the others shoulder. “This is the longest pussy drought I’ve seen you in, fuck man. I was actually excited for you when I thought you were getting some just now.”

“I have a lot going on right now, that’s all.” He shrugs, ignoring the way his dick twitches as if to disagree. “Haven’t even realized that it’s been awhile.”

“Dude, come on.” Jay grumbles, making a disgusted face as Heeseung decorates your stack of pancakes with a happy face. “You are literally her bitch boy.”

Heeseung lets out a fake laugh, middle finger lifted once again. “It’s not like that, she’s—“

“Not your sister.” Jay cuts him off again, leaning in to pat his back and whisper. “But you know what she is? Pussy repellant.”

Grabbing his plate he grumbles under his breath about not wanting to join the two of you over the disgusting breakfast you will surely have. “Not trying to ruin my meal with you cutting up her food and feeding her like some baby.”

Heeseung sighs, glancing back and forth from his plate of boring somewhat flat and crispy pancakes compared to the perfectly shaped golden fluffy ones on your plate. He really does prioritize you, maybe a bit too much..

“Mmm smells sooo good!” You say breaking through his thoughts, coming up behind him to loop around his waist and kiss the back of his shoulder. “Thank you Alpha, you always know what to do to make me feel better.”

Heeseung’s cheeks warm, patting your hands locked over his stomach. “Anything for you pup.”

It’s always been anything for you, and as predicted here he is, cutting little squares through your stack of pancakes.

We should talk.

Heeseung keeps repeating those words in his head, unable to bring himself to say it as he softly pushes a forkful of fluffy syrup coated pancake past your lips. 

But Jay has a point, of course he does. There’s been a part of him struggling to push away his dad’s shouts. The way he forced himself to create distance between the two of you to appease your parents.

Is it weird? This close bond you’ve always had even before presenting? Maybe it’s always been weird, because whether he’s acknowledged it or not, Heeseung likes you. A lot.

“Pup..”

“Hmm?”

Tell her. Either cut this off now or tell her the truth. Is it even the truth after suppressing these feelings for so many years? 

He takes in your face, confused gaze and head tilted to one side waiting. 

“I uh,“ he stammers, phone buzzing inside of his pocket like a bell to save him from confessing. “Oh.”

Yujin: ‘Come over, Gauel wants to hang out too.’

He skims the text quickly, mouth going dry knowing hanging out is really never just that. They’d joked about having a threesome enough times, even nearly going through with it last month if not for cops breaking up the party because of noise complaints.

“Hee?”

The Alpha nods, getting up without another look in your direction. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Oh, are you leaving?”

Heeseung affirms with a wave goodbye, patting your head on his way out of the room. “Don’t wait up.”

He can feel it, your confused hurt gaze burning into his retreating figure like a laser. Maybe it’s his own guilt, knowing he’s abandoning you to go get laid, but he needs to get away from you. Clear his head before he ends up doing, or saying, something crazy that could alienate you.

There’s not much to do with both Heeseung and Jay out, leaving you alone to wander around the complex. After using the gym and pool for some hours, you come back home noting three pairs of shoes by the front door; only recognizing the sneakers as Heeseung’s.

“Hee?” You ask softly, stepping down the hall and coming to a halt once the scent fully hits you.

For the most part the smell wretches you backward in disgust, covering your nose the second spicy citrus and amber meets your taste buds. Small remnants of earthy pine sprinkle between the muddled overly sweet and rusty stench, lulling you closer toward the Alphas bedroom. Close enough to pick up on the loud clash of skin meeting skin, high pitched moans, low powerful grunts and the rail of his bed crashing against the wall.

Heeseung’s sweet voice deeply reverberates past the cracks in the door, struggling between ragged breaths as flesh meeting palm grows louder. The obvious call of two Omegas pleading for more caves your chest in, searching for the wall behind you to hold yourself up and cover the cry that wants to pass from your lips.

There’s no way to even convince yourself it could be coming from Jay’s room with the obvious scent that’s been stuck to your clothing for weeks. It’s Heeseung’s grunts, moans, choked words and heavy breaths that radiate from the walls separating you. Pathetically your thighs rub together, squatting against the wall to suppress the urge to jam your hands between your legs. Heat builds with each second ticking by, biting down on your hand at the first hint of slick bubbling out of your core.

“Fucking sh—“ with strained muscles and gritted teeth you manuver further down the hall, struggling to take long steps with your knees locked together as you collapse at your door. “I can’t.” You curse, locking the door and making your way to the wall that connects your bedrooms.

‘Alpha, fuck daddy! you’re so fucking big.’ 

The shrill girlish tone rises bile up your throat, quickly swallowed down as you tune out the two unknown female voices and hone in on Heeseung alone.

It’s in between panted harsh inhales and loud grunts that you capture a strain in his vocals, croaked whines and exasperated sighs making it all too easy to shut your eyes and get lost in the Alphas pleasured cries.

Against your better conscience your hand follows the path down your stomach, pushing in past your bottoms in search of the dampness between your thighs. Heeseung doesn’t have to know you got off to his moans, to the sound of his cock sinking inside of two other girls. 

With his scent still lingering on your clothes, you easily get lost in a fantasy. Eyes Falling shut as you dip in past your panties to drag two fingers between your slit, ear flush to the wall aching to feel his breath fan across your face, to push those pleasured whines out of him yourself. 

‘Yeah, fuck me fuck me!’

The Alphas groans become erratic, coming out louder and faster the more he exerts himself; easy to imagine him sweating above you, hips ramming forward filling you up. 

“God, fuck.” You bite, grinding the backs of your teeth the more your fingers sink in past your heat, rutting up needing more. Needing Heeseung.

It’s when he lets out a long shout, vocally whimpering, chords cracking as he undoubtedly releases. The image of his mouth hung open, neck thrown back, eyes rolled up and stomach muscles contracting tight has your hips jumping up, biting down on your hand as you shortly follow and cum with one last jab past your swelling cavern. “Oh my God..”

Regret and guilt make their way back around as your senses clear up and the fog filling your brain diminishes. Sitting up lazily just as the Alpha heads into a round 2, or who knows how many by now..

So much for ‘going out’, you think, getting up and wiping your wet fingers along your underwear before snatching a towel hanging from the back of your door, making a quick exit to take a shower.

“Woah!” Jay stumbles back, met by your shoulder slamming into his chest on your way out, just now getting home from wherever he’s been. “Not so fast there.”

“Sorry.” You mumble, trying to step around him until he circles your wrist and refuses to budge. 

“Hey, what’s wro—“ the Alphas gaze widens, glancing from your hand trapped in his hold to Heeseung’s bedroom door. “Oh.”

“It’s not what you think!” You whisper in a panic, shimmying away from his grip to hide your hand under the towel. 

Jay grins, taking a step back to lean against the wall and nod toward Heeseung’s bedroom. “Like what you hear?”

“No!” You hiss, peering back and forth worried the Alpha will exit his bedroom at any moment. “I just need to shower.”

“Hmm” stepping closer, he takes a deep inhale, eyes rolling up. “Oh, that’s new.”

“Stop it! You pervert.”

“Me?!” Jay squawk’s dramatically, adding extra effect with his jaw hanging to the floor. “No way you just rubbed one out to your step-brother getting his dick wet and have the audacity to call me a pervert!”

“Shut up! Oh my God! I did not!” Before your fist can pummel his chest, he snatches your wrist again, this time in a firm grip.

“What’s this?” He ducks, sniffing just above your fingers. “Fuck..”

“Stop!” 

A noisy deep groan coming from Heeseung’s bedroom distracts the both of you enough to pull away before he can detain you any longer, glaring at him over your shoulder as you jog to the bathroom. “Don’t even think about telling him!”

Jay chuckles, licking at the roof of his mouth, still able to pick up traces of your sweet scent in the air. Muttering to himself as he heads for his bedroom. “I knew it.”

Embarrassment runs down the drain along with hot water that rinses away whatever guilt you had begun to feel. Sure, you shouldn’t have done that, and in all honesty if you hadn’t gotten caught you’d care a lot less..

Finally able to clear away lewd thoughts of Heeseung only seems to sink in the reality of what just happened. 

It’s possible you’re more attracted to him than you’re supposed to be.. and you wonder why you even have these rules when it comes to him. Why you’ve dismissed any feelings beyond friendship in favor of not ruining a good thing. Who’s to say the Alpha shares any similar thoughts regardless..

Why would Heeseung bring home not only one but two Omegas to flaunt and rub in your face if he felt anything for you above a brother sister connection..

It’s not hard to avoid him come morning, simply locking your bedroom door and setting your phone on do not disturb. He gets the idea after lightly tapping at your door and receiving no response. 

The original plan hadn’t been for Yujin and Gaeul to come over, but they insisted that his place would be best since their parents could come home at any hour without warning. 

Heeseung thought it’d help him to get over whatever this is he’s been dealing with, this inner turmoil that he’s brushed aside for weeks. Yujin made a face of disgust when he showed up covered in your scent, provoking him with taunts and jokes about how he never lets her near his throat, let alone borrow any of his clothes during her heats.

‘Ooooh our Alpha must have found someone, good thing we’re getting this out of the way before we lose you for good to the mated life.’

‘It’s not like that.’

He brushed them off, refusing to explain more as he clawed through their clothing and stripped them down to nothing, silently picturing the way your lips parted open in the morning, softly breathing under the beams of sunlight passing between his curtains.

The sex wasn’t even that good.

Sure, he got off, but at one point Heeseung even questioned if any of this was real. Not helping when he opened his eyes and saw your face looking back at him before reaching to smack himself out of it.  

After wrapping up some breakfast for you and writing a note he decides it’s for the best. Who knows what kind of rift this would create, if he ever actually admitted to having feelings in the first place..

He leaves without sending a text or mentioning where he’ll be. Not wanting Jay to rat him out again even though he’s only heading to Sunghoon’s place to hide out and avoid any possible awkward tenseness of showing up with a neck littered in hickeys again.

“What are you doing all alone?” Jay stumbles through the living room, running a hand through his messy head of hair with one eye squinted shut. “Where’s Hee?”

“Oh, he’s out.”

“Why didn’t you go with him?” He yawns, stumbling to sit on the couch beside you, smacking his cheek to wake up. 

“He’s on a date, I think..”

“Oh!” Jay sits up, eyes fully opened now, coughing back his surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah..”

“Right, that makes sense- why you’re here then…”

Awkward silence falls between the two of you, sighing as nothing but the sound of the clock ticking by resonates. “You have work?”

Jay roughs up his face, aggressively rubbing the sleep away. “Yeah, another late night.” He hums, rubbing over his chin. “You should come, I’ll get you on the list so you don’t have to pay.”

“To a club?” You snort, shaking your head. “Not my scene.”

“Oh come on,” he nudges your shoulder, cocking a brow. “You deserve a night of fun too.”

The implication behind his words has thoughts of Heeseung having fun racing through your head, sinking deeper into the couch with a frown. “What’s fun about going to a crowded club..”

“I promise I’ll make sure you have a good time.” Jay smiles softly, standing back up to down a protein shake before he has to get ready. “And if you don’t, I’ll owe you fifty bucks, or whatever.”

“You’ll owe me coffee and breakfast in the morning.” You suggest, getting up and eyeing Heeseung’s baggy sweater hanging off your torso. “What should I wear? How do people typically dress at these places?”

“Something short.” Jay says with a smirk. “Tight too, and low.” He hums, snapping his fingers. “I bet you look good in red, wear something red.”

He laughs at the way your nose scrunches in disgust, adding that he’ll text you the club's address on his way to the bathroom. “Take an Uber there, I’ll drive you back after I clock out.”

“What if I want to leave early?”

Jay winks, sticking his head out from the bathroom door. “I told you, you’ll have a good time. I guarantee it.”

The drive takes no longer than 20 minutes to reach your destination, meeting up later once the huge line of party goers has mostly been let inside other than a few stragglers and underage hopefuls clutching fake IDs. As the Alpha promised, you're let in through the VIP entrance without a problem, mostly struggling to pass through the throng of dancing bodies as you search for the bar.

Bleached styled up hair catches your eye, working your way deeper through the crowd until you reach the bar out of breath and force your way into a small spot between a bachelorette party. “Jay!”

He’s moving fast, spinning clear bottles of liquid and slamming them down on the bar with a cocky grin. Pouring a round of shots and receiving applause from a group of musclehead Alphas at the other end. Turning right as you call for him, he glances around fast and lights up upon finding your head shoved forward, arm waving out for him.

“You made it!” The Alpha hops over excited, shooting finger guns at you. “Let me guess, drink of choice, vodka rocks?”

“Oh, I—I don’t drink!” You have to shout above the music and bustling crowd, motioning ‘no’.

“Aww come on! It’s on me!” Smacking his hands together, he strokes his chin and eyes over the selection of alcohol before him. “I got it!”

“Seriously, it’s okay! I really don’t like alcohol!”

Jay snickers, showing off a green glass bottle with Hangul scripture and what appears to be a peach. “This is one of my personal favorite concoctions.”

He turns to raid a small fridge under the bar, tugging out a can of peach Milkis soda and a small bottle of Yakult. “So good, you won’t even know you’re drinking 10%. Just trust me on this one, yeah?”

He slides the light pink drink toward you, encouraging you to try it. Tempting as the cute alcoholic beverage he’s whipped up is, you still hesitate. “I don’t knowww…”

“Booo, hurry up and drink loser!” One of the drunk bachelorette’s by your side interjects, blowing her tongue at you. “Before I get your ass kicked out of here!”

Frowning, you glare at Jay for convincing you to come out and be around the types of animalistic people that evidently hang out at his place of work. “Fine! But if I spit this out, I’m aiming for you!” 

The Alpha leans in closer, watching your eyes widen as the first drop meets your tongue and you eagerly take a large gulp. “Oh wow..”

“What did I tell you!” He laughs, scooping another cup of ice. “Drink up, you’ll have more fun the less comprehensible all of these people become.”

Unfortunately, Jay’s right, for the most part.

The drinks good, so good that by your third you’ve ended up near the end of the bar that’s sectioned off for employees to exit from, engulfed in a deep half slurred conversation with one of the security guys.

“So he’s your step-brother?” Soobin, that’s his name, asks with a confused scrunch between his eyebrows.

“No! He’s..” you frown, noisily sucking the last bits of your drink through a straw. “He’s just some guy!”

Jay smirks, tapping Soobin’s shoulder. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Good luck bro.” 

The Alpha scoots into the space by your side, nodding at your empty cup. “Told you that you’d like it.”

“It’s great.” You hiccup, shaking your head. “I usually hate alcohol.”

“What can I say? I have a knack for this.”

“You really do!” Sitting up, you grab onto his bare upper arm, squeezing around his bicep. “I was watching you work, you looked so sexy!”

The music cuts right as you finish, drawing the attention of many nearby in your direction, snickering and giggling. “Did I?” Jay turns, smoothly holding on to your hip. “You wore red.”

He makes zero effort to hide his lowering gaze, bottom lip tucked in as he hums and rubs up to your waist, finishing with a squeeze. “This is what you’ve been hiding under all that clothes you steal from Heeseung’s closet huh?”

“Ugh, don’t bring him up, please.” You whine, stirring the melting ice cubes in your cup. “I was just starting to forget about him..”

Jay sees his opportunity, inching in closer to whisper near your ear. “Are you trying to forget?”

“I don’t know..”

“I can help you.” He ducks in closer until the tip of his nose lightly brushes along your cheekbone, sleek gaze locking with yours. “If you wanna forget about him tonight, I’m more than willing to help you out..”

Licks of heat lash up your chest, struggling to swallow as you force yourself to get away from him. “I have to use the bathroom.”

He watches you scramble to get away, lucky that the VIP wristband around your wrist leads you to the empty bathrooms guarded by security, all of them directing you that way when you appear lost and mutter ‘restrooms?’. Jay takes time to follow after you, laying his head against the door as he waits and listens.

He’s no fool, knowing good and well that whatever this thing is between you and Heeseung isn’t normal despite the facade you both seem to maintain. Waiting a few more minutes, he raps at the door lightly, dragging his knuckles down before reaching for the handle to allow himself in.

“Jay? What the hell, did you follow me?”

“Well, yes.” He laughs, locking the door behind him. “Of course I did, you’re all buzzed and sad, that’s the worst combination. It’d be irresponsible of me to let you roam around this place alone looking all pretty and vulnerable.”

“I’m not that drunk..” you sigh, sitting on the bathroom countertop. “This club's real fancy.”

“That’s just ‘cause you’re in the VIP area dollface. It gets pretty nasty out there.”

“Oh right, that explains the empty bathroom that smells nothing like throw up and regret..”

Jay settles by your side again, bumping his shoulder against yours. “You know, running away from this Heeseung thing isn’t the way to get over him.”

Guffawing, you roll your eyes, nervously pushing your hair behind your ear. “There’s no Heeseung thing.”

“Yes there is. I wasn’t born yesterday. Not to mention, your scent sweetens up even more whenever I mention him.”

“Really?” You grunt, hitting your head back on the mirror. “You must think I’m pathetic after last night..”

“Oh, the whole touching yourself while he fucked other girls?” Jay cocks an eyebrow, moving to stand between your thighs. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that..” 

His palms find your knees, thumbs stroking over the insides of your thighs. “I had an inkling you weren’t as innocent as you like to act. The whole crushing on your step-brother and sneaking into his bedroom—“

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

“Whatever, you wanna fuck him- or well, you want him to fuck you.” The Alpha grins knowingly, slowly inching up to the middle of your thigh. “You want him to fuck you so bad you’re even getting off to the thought of it. The smell of slick still on your fingers last night..”

“It’s not that, I just—“

“You wanna fuck him.”

“I..” you pause, distracted by the heat radiating from his skin, the way his fingers knead and dig into the meat of your thighs. “Maybe.”

Jay nods, stepping closer until his groin meets the ledge of the counter, focused on the tips of his fingers disappearing beneath your dress. “But you can’t, so you want to get over him, right?”

“I don’t know how..”

“You know, you can’t get over him,” the Alpha hums softly, hands fully hidden under the material of your dress, teasing at the straps of your panties. “Until you get under someone else.”

“God, you’re cheesy.”

Jays chuckles, snapping the material over your hips. “But am I wrong? You really want to continue moping around trying to avoid him for who knows how much longer, until you can afford to move?”

Throughout convincing you to give in and cave, he continues to play with the lacey material of your panties, easing down into a squat until his face is at level with your thighs. “Don’t forget, if you don’t have fun tonight I owe you coffee.” The Alpha winks, resting his cheek against your thigh.

“Is this your idea of fun?” 

“Do you wanna find out?”

Your Omega naturally screams, practically thrashes inside of you shouting at the top of her lungs YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES; but your chest aches as you sink against the mirror and part your legs open to invite him in.

Jay was right about the drink, and he’s right about this. You can’t let whatever this is control your life, this obsession with Heeseung. Not after all these years you’ve spent trying to get over him, landing yourself in the beds of other Alphas.

“Show me.” 

The smile plastered on Jay’s face never seems to disappear, hiking your dress up to your waist to fully take in the seat of your underwear molded to your cunt. He sucks in a deep breath, slurping at the taste of sweetness filling the air this close to your heat. 

“I don’t know how he controls himself around you.” Jay says under his breath, too quiet for you to catch. Tucking his fingers inside the waistband of your underwear, he eases them down your hips slowly, gently peeling the fabric clinging to your middle away. His jaw parts open with each new reveal of skin, salivating by the time he coaxes your panties off and has the perfect close up view of your glistening wet folds. 

The Alpha stares right at your freshly exposed smooth cunt, shooting shivers through your limbs under his full attention, his gaze unwavering from where slick pours freely past your clenching hole. “Such a pretty pussy..”

“Jay..”

“Shh shh, I wanna eat you out, can I? Can I taste your sweet little cunt?” 

Blood rushes to your ears, feeling more desperate to give him whatever he wants. He seems hesitant to do anything more than stare until you whimper and nod, reaching to grip a chunk of his hair between your digits. “Please.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice sweetheart.” 

He surges forward, lips wrapping around your clit as his palm lays flat against your inner thigh to open you up more, his free hand sneaking below his chin to brush a thumb down the center of your folds. Thick slick trickles down to his wrist, tongue making quick movement to build up a frenzy of heat from between legs to your throat. 

Tracing his fingers through your swelling folds, his thumb taps at your entrance to draw more slick out, coercing it down past the dip between your ass. The Alphas tongue continuously laps at your bundle of nerves, wetly slipping around hitting each dip and crevice. He groans against your heat, stroking up and down, the bridge of his straight nose beaming at this angle, face buried between your legs. “Fuck, Jay..”

Grunting, he slaps under your thigh, scooping it up to push your leg higher and stretch your pussy lips open. “You always get this wet?” He says, pressing kisses up and down your parted folds. “Or am I just that good?” 

“Ugh, you’re so—ah, fuck!” A firm lick right over your swollen bud cuts you off, hips tilting up against the pressure seeking more. “Yes, yes, so wet.”

“Yeah,” Jay affirms confidently, dipping two digits near your entrance just to tease. “That’s it. That’s what I want.” 

He presses down slowly, fingertips applying pressure against your hole. “Bet it’s nice and tight.” Cursing, he gently eases in, instantaneously feeling the clamp of your cunt around his digits. “So tight and still you need something bigger..”

The Alphas lips find their way back to your clit, egged on by your fist pulling roughly at his hair. Two fingers begin to stroke inside of you following the pace of his tongue, licking pointed and hard at your stiffened bud.

Pressure builds and builds the further he reaches, fingers curling in deep applying a pressure inside that matches up with the same his tongue applies. Moans drip from your lips, struggling to not squirm down and rock your heat against his face until he’s unable to even breathe. “Alpha, I’m close—“

“Yeah? Fucking give it to me then.” Jay’s voice comes out rough, choking on the slick he laps up from his palm, tongue tracing around his digits stretching you open. “Let go for me baby.”

“Ah!” Ruining the Alphas styled hair, you pull his tendrils through your balled fist, legs shaking around him as pleasure courses through your limbs and Jay doesn’t let up on your clit, sucking your nerves until you shout and arch off the mirror; body shuddering as orgasm washes over you.

He doesn’t give you much time to savor the fervent sensation, fast to stand up and hoist your other thigh up for both of your feet to be set on the counter. Digits still buried inside as he leans in and captures your lips in a fierce kiss. “Can you squirt?”

Still too sensitive and disoriented, your head rolls, gasping for air. “What?”

“Doesn’t matter.” The Alpha presses under your navel, thumb swiping your bundles of nerves as he stays buried deep. “Gonna make you squirt, you’re so god damn swollen inside..”

“Alpha.. s’too—I can’t yet.”

He grunts, the tendons lining his forearm flexing with each thrust jamming through your heat, laying more pressure above your mound until you squirm and nearly lose your balance. “Can feel you squeezing around me..”

Jay lets out a string of curses, licking across your upper lip. “So deep, does it hurt, baby?”

“N-no, feel—“ it’s hard to explain anything the more your head spins, tummy tightening up, pussy clenched around his fingers. Everything feels too good, curled deep inside your soaked pussy. The sound emitting from between your legs has you turning away to hide your face, only for a growl to rumble up Jay’s chest as he presses in and licks up your cheek. 

“Feels good, yeah? You hear that?”

It’s loud, the gushing sound of your arousal flicked around inside, fingers firmly dragging through your heat. He knows you're almost there, still coming down from your previous orgasm as he beckons the next to appear. “Come on.” He fucks in harder, wet fingers thrusting in and out squelching embarrassingly loud through the room.

“Al-alpha!” His thumb slams down, applying harsh pressure to your swollen clit, rubbing wet circles along with his relentless fingers. 

“God, what a sensitive little pussy, can’t wait to fuck my cock nice and deep—“

“Ah, fuck!” 

A strong burst of fluid splashes out around his digits, the stream forceful enough to nearly push him out as he stops to watch your hole convulse around his digits. Easing himself free to watch another spray of clear liquid exit without his fingers to obstruct the power behind your squirt. “Fuck.” Jay licks at his lips, sucking saliva that's gathered around his tongue. “So fucking hot..”

He pats between your thighs, making your tired eyes flutter open and jump back to protect your over sensitive core; still trembling and jolting from the aftershocks as you reach down to push him away and cover yourself. 

The Alphas forehead wrinkles, reaching to unzip himself. “Think you can do it again?” He hisses, tapping the ball of his shoe on the puddle that’s formed on the floor underneath your. “Fuck.”

“I-I dunno..”

“I’ll take you home,” tugging himself free, he grips around the base of his length, teeth clenched together. “Just need a little preview..” his free hand traps your wrists, unveiling your cunt as he slams your hand against your stomach and strokes his shaft, stopping under the tip. “Just a little bit—“

Jay groans, neck dropping to one side as he runs the tip of his cock between your wet puffy folds. It’s not enough to satiate his Alpha, but it’s enough to quell the dire need to stuff you full to the brim, for now. 

“Unnghh..”

“You can take it.” He teases at your entrance, prodding in his slit coated with slick and precum to feel how hot and tight you actually are. “Already stretched you open and you still can’t fit me in there, fuck.”

Jay mocks you further by poking an inch in, eyes rolling shut at how tight you actually are, clamped firmly around him. “Need to fuck you, feel you cum around my cock.” Drawing back, he slaps his length down repeatedly, making your hips jerk up. “But not like this.”

It’s excruciating to tuck himself away, to fix your dress and somehow get to his car. The drive even more painful as you slink across the center and suck on his jawline, cupping and kneading his crotch.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me crash.” 

The Alphas back on you as soon as you enter the elevator, tongue sliding in past your lips to find yours, palms massaging up the backs of your thighs to cup and squeeze your ass. “You feel so fucking good.” As soon as you exit it’s even harder to open the door, refusing to unlatch for a minute to find his keycard, he pats around, lapping at the corners of your mouth.

One hard squeeze around his groin has him pulling away, eyes wrinkling shut as he nods rapidly and finally opens the door to shove you inside, going straight for his bedroom.

“Present.” 

Of course the Alpha expects you to be a little docile Omega, get down on your knees and shove your ass up in the air to expose both of your holes for him. Fingers snap you out of thought, stripping out of your dress before turning around to climb onto his bed.

Jay lets out a sound of approval, following you to run his nails down from your waist to right above the swell of your ass. “Down right pretty everywhere, what a tasty Omega you are.”

Sucking spit between his teeth, he works fast to remove his clothes and stand behind you, cupping your hips to shake your ass. He’d ask if you’re ready, if not for how painfully his balls throb, heavy with need and begging for release. “Go lower for me.” A weighty palm soothes down your spine, pushing at the center of your back. “Yeah, like that, so good for me. Listening so good.”

The Alphas length twitches, slit covered with a mess of precum. Keeping you held in position with his commanding hold, he wraps around his shaft, bouncing the weight of his girth to relieve some of the ache. He knows he has to go slow and not risk the chance of cumming too fast, wanting to draw this out as long as he can after waiting for so long tonight.

“Don’t wanna hurt you..” he murmurs, lining the tip of his size up with your hole. The same wide blunt pressure from earlier returning, stinging as he pushes in only an inch. “But I might.”

The Alpha rumbles behind you, increasing the pressure as his cock begins to glide in and really stretch you, nothing only two of his fingers could have properly prepared you for.

“Ah!”

“You’re opening up so good..” 

His flattery softens to blow of each new passing inch, flooding heat through your stomach and sparks of arousal. The sharp sting of the thick part of his girth breaching past your resistance lodges your breath, scrambling to grab onto some of his bedding as your eyes shoot open in shock.

Jay’s not just average big, he’s big. The thickness and how he stretches you wide feels new even. Sharp stinging sensation rushing tears to your eyes as you gasp and squeeze them shut.

“Feel so full don’t you?” He pants, slapping his palms down on your ass with a growl. “Too big for your innocent sweet ass.” He says between an exerted grunt, penetrating halfway before he draws out to the tip and gawks at the amount of slick that chases after him. “Fucking hell.”

The Alpha loses it from there, straddling the backs of your thighs with a fierce grip on your waist. Thick cock prodding at your opening once more before he fully presses against the tiny opening and thrusts in even deeper. “Fuck fuck!” 

“Alpha!” You scurry to gather the blanket under you, bundling it up under your throat to scream into. 

“Taking my cock so so so good.” Jay manages to keep you pinned down, beginning to push in past your resistance as your body relaxes and invites him in. He moves to grip the fold right under your lower back where your ass begins to curve, roughly sinking the tips of his fingers in. “You know why?” He says between licking saliva pooling at the corners of his lips. “Cause you’re made for this, just born to take cock.”

Hips press right up to your ass when he finishes speaking, finally burying every painful inch of his fat girth inside of you. The Alpha relishes in the tight heat, neck thrown back listening to the sobs you try to muffle, the wet trickle of slick bubbling out around his size. 

Heeseung really has no clue what he’s missing out on.

Jay thinks, rolling his hips in experimental thrusts, testing out just how far he can stretch your insides. The wet sound emitting between your connected lower halves only grows louder, digging your face deeper into his bedding to not shout out from the pleasure beginning to take over. “Fuck.” 

He leans over your back, sweaty chest heavily laid against your spine, brushing your hair to one side to belt your nape, fingertips tapping along the sides of your throat. “Are you forgetting yet?” He asks in a low rasp, snapping forward even harder, ass clapping back against his hip bones.

It’s torturous how slow he moves, angling his length to press against every side of your walls until you go lax beneath him and he’s able to pull out halfway without the vacuum seal of your cunt gripped around him. “That’s right, let go for me.”

He huffs, breathless and rough, throat tight with arousal. “Tell me how good it feels, how good my fucking cock feels inside this hot wet pussy.” 

Jay hums, rutting against your ass with more force, adding strength behind each slam of his hips. The motion has your knees spreading further along the bed, pushing your thighs into a near split as he keeps the back of your neck trapped in place and builds up to a brutal pace. “Are you listening?” He sneers, landing a weighted slap across your ass. “How’s it feel baby? Come on, I wanna hear it.”

Putting emphasis behind his words, he grinds in deep only for you to hear each wet gushing sound, just to hear how wet you are, how you can’t stop leaking around his size. 

“J-jay—Alpha!” It’s near impossible to brace yourself for the next thrust, landing belly flat on his bed with your eyes squeezed shut. “S’too big! You’re too big Alpha, p-please!”

“What are you even begging for?” He snarls, stradling your hips for better leverage to lean over and wrap your throat up in his biceps. “Please Alpha, please—“ he mocks, groaning against your ear. Falling into a faster speed, fucking you right into the bed, slamming the headboard loudly with each drop of his hips pummeling your ass.

“Please, your co-cock feels soo..” so deep, reaching your cervix, so full and gaped, so mind numbingly euphoric. Scratching at his sheets, your feet kick under unyielding weight crashing down. “So good!”

“I know,” he coo’s, arching your spine up to put you in a proper chokehold, biceps rippling around you. “Bet you can’t even take my knot.”

With his lips pressed to your ear, he smirks, coaxing your release as he sucks your earlobe, tongue flicking. “Will you cum for me? Cum for Alpha.”

Muscle tightens around your throat, choking any response you could give, tongue hanging out drooling onto the sheets, moaning and wailing. He grips your chin, twisting your neck to the side to lavv at your tongue, sucking at your bottom lip. “Cum for me, squeeze my cock baby.”

That’s enough to push you over once again, eyes rolling back leaving nothing but whites behind. Breath gets stuck in your chest, limbs fluttering out as heat boils over and spills down between your thighs, sucking around the length continuing to work in and out past your orgasm. The Alpha growls, pulling out to the tip and aiming to seethe his cock in to the brim, exerting extra effort to fill you up through your release. Slick spurts around his size, leaking down to the bed creating a large wet patch below your hips.

Jay’s thrusts turn sloppy, arms loosening around your neck. “So. Fucking. Tight.” With gritted teeth he pulls out, cock landing wet and hard against your lower back. “Came so much,” he mutters, swiping three fingers between your thighs to slap your ass with. Make you feel all the slick that hasn’t stopped dripping out. “Came so much for me.”

Pushing back he settles over your thighs, wet cock slotted between your buttcheeks as he begins to rut forward and slaps his palms down on your upper back. “G-gonna cum, mark you with my cum.”

Slick guides the way, freely rolling his hips back and forth watching his length glide between your ass. The sound of wet and fleshy meat bouncing shoots jolts of heat up your chest, biting down on the blanket to control your moans as Jay lets out a loud growl and ruts against your faster.

“Ah—s-shit!” He stammers, jerking forward and grabbing his cock roughly to smack down on the pert roundness of your ass. Screaming through clenched teeth as the first string of cum shoots out forcefully, quickly warming up your lower back with a pool of cum. 

Only ragged breath plays around the room after, squirming under him to move. The Alpha falls to your side, breathily mumbling curses and running a hand over his face. “Fuck, that was great.”

It was great, and yet your mind immediately races back to Heeseung. It would have been even better with him, more personal, more than just another one night stand..

Remorse quickly settles as soon as you hear Jay snoring, careful to remove yourself from his bed and tiptoe around to grab your items. The desperate need to shower and rid yourself of the Alphas scent and scrub his now drying cum has you sneaking out of his bedroom, clicking the door shut as quietly as possible. 

Quietly enough for Heeseung to miss his chance to hide, half struck by pain and anger where he stands; wet eyes catching you off guard when you turn toward the bathroom. 

“Hee?!”

Your voice pulls him out of the trance, blinking back tears and shaking his head. “Hee, when did you—“

He steps back when you move closer, walking fast to his room to shut the door in your face. “Hee, wait! It’s not—“ you start out of breath, shoving your way inside his room before he can shut the door. “It’s— why the fuck are you upset!”

Covering your mouth shocked by your explosive anger, you move away to apologize, continuing to cover your mouth. Why should you apologize? 

Heeseung turns, the wet tears rimming his eyes long gone, blinking furiously. “I leave you alone for one day and you go fuck Jay? Are you that easy?”

“What?!”

“I heard you!” He spits, trudging closer to pinch your dress. “What the fuck is this? Since when did you become such a slut?”

“Fuck you!” Anger boils over, sending you forward to push at his chest. “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“I’m talking to you the way you deserve! Letting some guy like Jay fuck you?!”

“He’s your friend! And he’s nice to me, and he wants to fuck me!” You have to bite down on your tongue to not add in ‘unlike you’, digging your fingers into his pecs. “Why do you care anyway, aren’t you busy fucking Hyungjin or whatever! Stay out of my business!”

“You are my business.” Heeseung grabs your hands, crushing your fingers tight enough to hurt. “Your mom didn’t send you to live here with me just so you can go act like some whore, fucking any Alpha that gives you the slightest bit of attention!”

“My mom likes Jay!” You snap back, hissing when he grips your hand harder. “Let go of me, you’re being an asshole!”

“I can’t believe you’d just—“ he speaks frantically, blinking away the sting returning to the backs of his eyes. “You’re too good for him, you should be with someone like,” he stutters, sighing. “Like—“

“What?! Like you!” 

Heeseung lets go of you to run his hands over his face, throwing his head back. “Yes! You should be with me! You should be with me.”

He repeats to make sure he actually said it, tongue burning as if he just dunked it in a bucket of acid. Saliva flees his throat when he needs it the most, taking a heavy gulp as he finds your confused stunned expression. “I mean, someone who cares about you.”

“You think I should be with someone like you?” You ask brazenly, invading his space, chest pressed just under his. “Someone who’s too cowardly to even own up to his feelings? Someone who can’t even look me in the eye and tell me that you like me?”

Heeseung’s lips twitch, fingers thrumming at his sides, balling in and out of stiff fists. He glares back at you, beginning to shake. “I take it back. You do deserve a fuck boy like Jay who won’t even care when you cry. Who will pick his friends over you, won’t even check on you when you get sick—“

“Fuck you Hee, stop using him as an excuse for why you haven’t ever done shit!”

“And what am I supposed to do?!” Heeseung towers over you, unknowingly directing you back to press against his bedroom wall. Anger seeps between his words, as he leans in and whispers. “You think you can just go fuck one of my friends and get your way?”

“No, I— you can’t do this! This is your fault!”

“Bullshit!” The Alphas deep rasp sends shivers up your spine. Unfamiliar with this side of him even after all these years. He’s never once used his Alpha voice on you, never had to, never felt the need to. It’s impossible to not cower away and hide your face, instinctive fear wobbles up to your mouth, sensing tears ready to escape.

“Fuck you.. you are the asshole.” You whimper, weakly pushing fist at his stomach for space. “It’s your fault for never..”

“Say it, come on.”

“No. You’re being mean.”

Heeseung scoffs, moving you away from the wall toward his bed and tapping your chin. “For never pissing off our parents and trying to fuck you myself? Is that what you want to hear? That I’m too much of a pussy to deal with the consequences if we got caught?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah. We both know what this is about.” He sits down, nodding for you to sit on his lap just as you had the other day before Jay interrupted, stretching his neck to one side. “Come here.”

“It’s not Jay’s fault.” You murmur quietly, settling down to sit on his thighs. Immediately tempted to hide your face in the crook of his neck. “You left me, and—“

Heeseung shushes you, pushing the back of your head to encourage you to scent him. Calm floats around you the second your nose runs across his skin, taking in a soft inhale of the Alphas scent that clings to the back of your tongue, suffocating your tonsils with each breath. 

It’s fleeting for the Alpha, unconsciously burying his fingers deeper into your hair as the sound of your moans melded with Jay’s replay. It’s not until you squirm in discomfort that he stops and realizes, prying his grip away and clearing his throat. “Better?”

“I guess..” you sniffle, digging your palms against his shoulders. “Apologize for being mean to me.”

Heeseung sighs, biting at one side of his tongue annoyed. “You want me to apologize? Fine.” Wrapping around your waist, he moves to stand and turn around to lay you down beneath him, eyes bouncing across your confused pout. “I’m sorry.”

A small smile lifts the corner of his lip, reaching for the straps of your dress as he bends in closer to whisper. “I’m sorry that I didn’t fuck you sooner.”

He wastes no time to pull the material off your skin, pausing only to finally get a look at all of you, every inch of you. “I really- I should have fucked you before him.. can’t believe he got to see you like this.”

Heeseung tries to ignore how angry that makes him, knowing that Jay probably kissed and licked all over your beautiful body, dug his unworthy fingers into your flesh. He shakes the thought away, tossing the dress aside to run his hands down your thighs and roam lower. 

“Alpha.. I’m sorry, I wanted you..” 

He hisses, tickling down toward your core to spread apart the fleshy skin hiding your wet labia folds. “Yeah? You wanted me? How long?”

“Always, since before we even.. since before we even knew each other.” You hiccup, arching up slightly as his thumb grazes over your still sensitive nub. “Always wanted to be yours.”

“Me too.” Heeseung nods, licking his upper lip. “You’ve always been mine, whether or not I could do anything about it..”

“You can now..” you say shyly, angling your hips up to allow him a better view. 

“Did you let him eat your pretty pussy?” His throat tightens, thumb venturing lower between your chubbed folds, stopping right before your entrance. “Did he make you cum?”

“Yes Alpha..”

Heeseung considers how many times Jay could have made you reach release, tracing around your tight ring of muscle confidently, knowing he’ll make you cum more. He’ll make your legs shake, make you lose your mind, drag his tongue through every little crevice. He won’t stop until you have absolutely nothing left, even when you beg and cry; even when you try to get away and whimper that you can’t.

“Of course he did.” Licking at the backs of his teeth, he moves back to sit, nodding. “You want me, right?”

“Yes..”

“Show me then, show me that you’re a worthy Omega for me.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You’re not that dumb pup,” biting down on his lip, he tickles up your thigh. “You came for Jay?” There’s irritation laced in his tone, tilting his head condescendingly. 

Heeseung’s clearly not going to make this easy, as if he’s so innocent. It’s with another tap against your hip that you sit up and return to sit on his lap, pouting when he cups your face and strokes your cheeks. “I don’t like being mean to you..”

That’s the thing, he’s never been anything more than perfect. That’s why this has always been an underlying fear, changing the dynamics of your relationship. “But I’m hurt..”

“I am too!” You sigh, slumping against him. “You didn’t have to fuck two girls right here where I could hear everything.”

The Alpha pushes your cheeks up, thumb brushing your bottom lip. “I’m sorry about that, and for snapping at you.”

Nodding, you ease around his shoulders, kissing up the column of his throat.

“..and you, are you sorry?” Heeseung whispers, not wanting to ask but sensing his annoyance heighten the longer you fail to grace him with a response.

“Well. No.” Sitting up, you shrug and knead his shoulders. “That was a dick move Hee!”

“You’re not sorry that you fucked my friend?!” The anger he’d been trying to control spills over, clutching your waist to keep you held in place. “You can’t be serious!”

“Don’t yell at me like that! I stand by my point. I can fuck whoever I want until you do something about it.”

Blood rushes to the Alphas ears, digging his nails into the flesh lining your waist. “Do something..” he repeats quietly, lip twitching. “I’ll do something.”

A deep roar passes from his chest, hoisting your ass down to rut your core along the large bulge formed between his hips. The friction makes you hiss initially, especially with how roughly he maneuvers you. “I know how Jay fucks, he’s not nice.” Heeseung sneers, circling your waist with one arm to capture your jaw, digits digging into your cheeks. “You let him knot you too?”

“N-no Alpha..”

He nods in approval, jackhammering up to crush your cunt against his covered groin, teeth grinding from the wetness seeping past the material of his pants. “Did he cum inside of you?” Heeseung asks in a serious low tone, chin tilted in, furious gaze concentrating to make sure you’re not lying.

“No, he didn’t! I swear.”

That seems to satisfy him, fingers patting your cheek as he controls your lower half and moves you back and forth by the waist, pants now soaked with your slick. “You’re just insatiable aren’t you? Dripping down my thighs like a slut.”

“Ugh—no, n-not a slut.”

Shaking his head and tightening his hold, he grins, tongue clicking. “Tskk, who do you think I am? I know you, rubbing your ass against me in your sleep. Crawling to my bed the last few weeks in nothing but a small pair of underwear. Leaving your sweet scent all over my clothes, you think I was born yesterday?”

“I didn’t.. on purpose..” Heeseung’s still too coherent, too in control for you to have this conversation properly. So what if you did all of those things, it’s not like he’s in the clear; not like you didn’t wake up multiple times with his morning wood jammed against your ass. “Hee, ugh, I c-can’t, hurts.. sensitive.”

“Yeah? Bet you are after taking that monster,” he mumbles, irritation spiking as he holds you closer to slap your ass. “Surprised you can even walk still.” 

Releasing your jaw, he wraps around your shoulders, lifting his ass off the bed to roll your cunt against his crotch, groaning and biting down on your collarbone. “Fuck, how are you so god damn wet.”

The sound of damp cloth floats up from under your heat, making a huge mess of his pants with each rough stroke against your swollen bud. “A-ah! I’m cum—“

Heeseung halts, biting down hard on the juncture between your neck and chest, stopping all movement before you can hit climax. “No you’re not. Not yet.”

He kisses you, stealing away the whine you’re ready to let out. Every ounce of calm and patience he’s been trying to keep up snaps, licking past the seam of your lip’s ferociously. It’s harder for you to not grind down, desperate to cum; not being able to has your Omega wailing. Clutching at his shoulders pilantly, caught off guard as he hoists you up and picks you up like nothing.

“Alpha!”

Large palms smooth up from your thighs to your ass, gripping and digging, adding a few slaps before setting your feet down and shoving your back to the wall. Heeseung snatches your lips again, taking full control of the kiss, savoring every new taste he finds licking through your mouth. Teeth clink together the sloppier it gets, drool passing down your chins, scrambling to remove his ruined pants until he swats your hands away and shakes his head, biting down on your lip. Teeth burying into the plush soft meat, hands roaming your body to feel up all your curves, spending extra time squishing your breasts as he teases your hungry tongue. 

Fingers tickle down between your thighs, sucking on your tongue one last time before lowering onto his knees.

“Hee..”

“Need a taste.” He says roughly, palms wrapping around your legs to manhandle your thighs open. Sweet stickiness sticks to the rough of his mouth, salivating as he leans in and takes a deep breath. “So good puppy, always knew you’d smell so fucking good..”

A primal urge to mark up your thighs has him surging forward with an open mouth, lapping up the trickling mess of slick rivering free from your cunt. He growls, head shaking as soon as he latches onto the soft meaty flesh, teeth digging in enough to make you back arch, steal your breath. Slick drips faster, landing on his nose and chin the more he works to suck on the skin lining your inner thighs, nipping and taking bites just to feel your hips jerk out of fear. Fear that he’ll leave a mark that can last more than just a few weeks, fear that you’d let him..

Wet lips pop off only to take a deep breath before going back in, clenching your thighs around his face instinctively. Heeseung growls, slapping your hip and jerkily hauling your leg over his shoulder. “Get on me.”

“What?!”

“I said- get on me.” He commands, reaching to grasp your other thigh. 

“No! You’ll drop me!”

The Alpha glares up between your legs, slapping your ass, taking matters into his own hands, literally. Fighting your resistance, he gets your thigh up on his shoulder, pressing your back against the wall harder. “Fuck, Hee!”

Without wasting another second he leans forward, tongue immediately burying in past your thick labia folds; aiming straight for your hole. 

“Oh my God!” You stammer, reaching around you to grab onto something, more vulnerable and helpless in this position. Even with your back slipping up and down the wall you feel out of control, legs tightening like a vine around his shoulders. 

Heeseung groans, wiggling past your muscle, slick covering the entirety of his face as his nose lodges up against your clit and he shakes ferociously. Worse than a starved dog, tongue lapping up the wetness coating your walls, sucking every drip down the back of his throat.

“Fuck, you taste too good.” He says out of breath, diving in for more. His tongue lavvs between your folds, cleaning up any of the slick that's gathered there. Slapping the sides of your thighs roughly, he groans and wraps around your bundle of nerves. Shoulders flexed to push you up higher and bounce your cunt against his face.

“Alpha! No no!”

With digits dug into your thighs he rocks your lower half down, leaving you no choice but to ride his tongue. Chest pumping up and down as you reach to pull on his hair and fear gets replaced with pleasure. His teeth graze your clit, tongue stiffened as he points the tip roughly to swipe your nerves side to side, melting your mind with jolts of numbness. “Ah, fuck!”

Gasping for breath he drops one of your legs, scooting closer on his knees to hold open your pussy lips and lick a fat stripe from your entrance to your clit over and over again until you pull at his scalp. “If—if you k-keep doing that—“

“Cum on my tongue,” he tuts, slapping your thigh again. “Cum down my fucking throat.”

“Shitshitshit—“ breaking into a scream, your fingers bury through his thick head of hair. Head shaking against the wall, brain failing the function when the Alphas tongue thrusts back inside of your heat. Wiggling his way back in as he reaches around to cup your ass, molding the fleshy meat between his fingers and shoving you forward to roll down on his tongue again. 

“Oh fuck, Alpha—your tongues so,” shouting, you kick, foot slamming down on the floor. Hips gyrating against the weight of his wet tongue jamming in and out. “So deep, so deep inside!”

Heeseung grunts, pulling out to spit and lap your slick together creating a sloppy mess between your folds, tugging the sensitive flesh between his lips to suck on. The firm hold on your ass unrelenting even as he circles your clit again. More aggressive with his tongue; flicking up and down, rubbing back and forth. Jaw open wide to draw the entirety of your cunt inside of his mouth and suck harshly. He takes a long winded deep breath, returning to your hole to circle around; still sensitive and aching from being fucked so roughly, tongue rolling against the impending pulse of your release. 

“Give me all that cum.” He growls, mouth wide as he buries back in and groans when your walls begin to pulse speedily around his tongue. The heat and slick flowing out filling his mouth and nose until he gags and has to pull out to breathe. Panting heavily, he pats your ass, forehead rolling against your hip. “That’s my good puppy.”

He spews a string of curses, wiping at the slick that's poured down his throat. Dragging wet fingers to his lips to suck on slowly, peering up at you on his knees akin to a bloodthirsty hound.

“Oh my God..” rubbing your thighs together, you squeeze tight to ignore the tremor that runs up from your toes. Shaking your head in disbelief as the Alpha stands up and smears the spit off his fingers across your parted lips. He grabs your waist, pulling you close for a kiss, swapping the spit blended slick with your tongue. 

Heeseung licks all over your mouth, lapping down your chin fervently, licking up your jaw to your ear. 

“Come here,” tugging your arms, he throws you back onto his bed, mounting the backs of your thighs before you can turn. Groping your ass as he adjusts you until your hips and stomach are laid on his thighs. Locked in place with an elbow set on your lower back. “Are you sorry now?”

“Huh?”

“Wrong answer.” The first land of his palm striking your ass has you jumping up, chest rising from the bed with a gasp.

“Hee?! What the fuck!”

“Shut up, don’t talk back to me like that.” Another slap hurdles down, clapping your tender skin roughly, repeating his question with another pinching slap. “I said- are you sorry now?”

“No!” Preparing yourself for the next hit, you clench your eyes shut, knees locked together. It never comes, opting to fist your hair and pull your neck back instead, leaning in to blow on your wet cheek. 

“Not only a slut but a damn brat too?” He says in a deep rasp, flipping you down onto your back fast. The Alpha makes a quick movement, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder just before a loud smack resounds between your thighs, thrashing your hips upward as you begin to whimper and plead. 

“No no!”

“This is what slutty disobedient brats deserve.” He grunts, repeating the motion, landing slap after slap between your thighs where you’re most sensitive. “Bet you could cum from this alone, look at this nasty pool of slick.” Using the leg on his shoulder, he lifts your ass up midair. Slapping your butt tauntingly, gaze burning over your core up close. “Fuck, you’re dripping.”

“Hee, Alpha please, please!” Throbbing pain shoots up your core. It’s all too much and yet not enough, more aroused than you’ve been all night. He sucks in a deep breath, entranced by your hole pulsing open, begging to be filled and fucked. “Want you! Want you! You, only you!” 

Heeseung growls, bending closer to press a gentle kiss on your abused clit. “And?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?! Please!”

He smiles proudly, appeased enough to stop torturing you, for now. “That wasn’t hard, was it.” Finally peeling off his clothes, the Alpha pulls your knees to the edge of the bed, eyes stuck on your exasperated expression. 

“Should I.. present?”

“No, stay just like this.”

“Oh..”

“I wanna see you, want everything.” Gripping the base of his length, he lays the shaft between your slit. Chest heaving up and down as he positions your thighs around his hips and takes time to run his palms up and down, testing out how every piece of smooth flesh and dip feels. “You’re perfect, perfect for me.”

“Fuck, Hee, don’t..”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He says firmly, gripping your chin to look at him. “Keep those pretty eyes on me, want you to watch everything too.”

You’re more beautiful than he could've imagined under him, cock twitching as he takes in your blown out gaze, plump kiss bitten lips. “Want you to be mine finally, only mine.”

Breathlessly you nod, licking and sucking at his thumb pressing down on your bottom lip. “Make me yours, wanna be yours. I’ll be good for you Alpha.”

Heeseung gulps, swallowing the thick humid air carrying nothing but your sweet sweet aroused scent, already addicted to the taste. Licking at the corners of his mouth hungrily wishing for another taste until his cock jerks and breaks his suptor. “Good for me.” He repeats, hazy and drunk off the heat radiating from your skin. “Good for your Alpha.”

Gripping his heavy length, he strokes, thumbing at the swollen head with a hiss. The tip runs down between your folds, an eager moan sounding below as his dick parts open the swollen flesh surrounding your entrance.

If Jay was too big, Heeseung’s bulbous tip has your waist arching up in a panic, biting down on your lip nervously the more he teasingly pushes in only to feel the snap of your cunt around his cockhead. “So wet for me, get wet just like this for me?”

“Uh-huh” you nod lazily, more focused on controlling your breath and bracing yourself for the first inch.

“Why do you look so nervous, pup?” He coo’s, eyebrows furrowing. “Need cock in you that bad huh? Doesn’t even matter who it is.”

“N-no Alpha, only yours!”

A rumble rises up his throat, his Alpha shouting that you’re lying. You’ll take anyone's cock like a whore. He’ll fix that, make sure you listen well. “Yeah?”

“Yes! Want your cock! Please Hee.”

Kissing the backs of his teeth he nods, wanting to take it slow, let every inch passing through wash over him; but that’s not what you deserve. One second you’re empty, dreading and anticipating the painful stretch, stuffed to the brim before you can even take your next breath.

“Ah!”

Even with how wet you are it’s a struggle to accommodate his size, fists balling up and slamming down on the bed with trembling lips. The forceful thrust he nails you with has your back sliding up the blanket making Heeseung mount the bed on his knees for better control. It aches, burns, feels so good all at once, skyrocketing your senses into a chaotic frenzy.

“Fucking perfect.” He grunts above you, jaw hung loose in awe gazing at skin covering your mound throb over the sheer size of his cock filling you so wide and deep. He only takes a minute to admire the sight of his girth pushing your skin, lacking the willpower to stop himself from sliding in and out of your sopping wet cunt. As much as your walls squeeze around his size, and your inner muscles move against him; body begging for more and less creating new waves of friction around him, he can’t stop himself from seeking for more.

Skin slapping and splashing wet squelches resound, echoing louder than your pathetic moans and whimpers. “Wanted my cock?” Heeseung growls, pushing your thighs up to pretzel you in, leaving your feet dangling in the air with each ram of his hips. 

“Yesyes!” You gurgle, drooling and grasping at anything your fingers can latch onto. “So good, feel so good touching you.”

Heeseung huffs loudly, astonished by how high he feels. How blazed and dizzy he’s becomes from your scent, fucking you harder to chase after more. Taunted by the thought that your release can only taste much sweeter when it’s thanks to his cock stuffing you full.

All you can do is cry, biting down on your own hand to stop a scream from ripping your vocal chords. The Alpha seems determined to carve a space out for his cock and his cock alone, driving inside deep with each pointed thrust. The commotion in your stomach builds and builds, stirred manically by each plunging thrust pounded into you. Slick gushes and pulses out around him, struggling for a second to move from how tight you grip around him.

“Holy shit, you came.” That only seems to make Heeseung want to fuck you more, break you down to nothing, make you useless for any other cock. His thrusts don’t cease, only picking up pace and crushing your limbs more until you’re completely limp and folded making it all too easy to glide in and out of your wetness.

Crying out from the overstimulation, you tremble, whimpering and weakly slapping at the bed.

“You’re leaking so much, such a good Omega.” He says in shock, an absurd amount of slick making each glide of his length even sloppier. Dripping out, smeared all over the backs of your thighs and ass.

Heeseung’s still so hard, you can’t imagine he’ll stop anytime soon. Obsessed with the way you tremble and gaze up drunkenly, tongue hung out just begging to have your mouth stuffed with cock. “Fuck, I lo—“

Choking on a sob he tucks his lips in to stop, nearly losing his mind as his balls pulse and he retracts the three words that nearly escaped him. Knowing he’s close and not ready to let go of your sweet cunt, he trembles and falls into an inhumane pace. “Cum for me again, let me feel that pussy suck around me one more time, puppy.”

The term of endearment makes your chest cave, eyes ablaze at his request, unable to even mumble that you can’t anymore. Too strung out and emptied after so many times, you’d swear you were in heat if not. 

“You can,” Heeseung murmurs, sneaking a hand between your bodies to press down on your clit. 

“Hee!” Tears pour down your cheeks heavily, salty and warm as they slip in past your lips. Cunt fucked raw and sore, leaving you with zero energy to do or say more other than let out wet sobs. 

Pinching your bundle of nerves just right, he somehow coaxes another weak orgasm out of you, legs gone stiff as the rush of pleasure rips away the last of your coherency, brain dead of thought beyond cum and the earthy scent that’s taken over your mind.

“G-gonna knot you,” he chokes, the base of his cock already beginning to expand. “W-wanna see you—fall apart on my knot. Take all of it.”

“Alpha!” You shriek, scrambling to grab onto his arms, head tossed back as his knot begins to push in and stretch you out more than you thought was possible. “Ah—fuck, please! S’too much, too much for me!”

Heeseung tuts, hoisting your knees onto the crook of his arms, angling your hips up to penetrate deeper. “Take it, take it,” he spits, eyes stuck on your hole fighting against the stretch. “Fuck, you’re so good. Taking all of it.”

“Hee—“ wheezing, you come to a still, letting out a silent cry as hot water pours down from your head to your toes. Eyes rolled back lost in another world, the fullness pushing your body over the edge, hitting a new level of pleasure. “S’so full.”

Twisting your head side to side in a daze, you can’t believe how deep and full he feels, pushing your walls apart. Slick rains down past your ass, dripping down Heeseung’s thighs making a mess of his sack. “Fuckfuckfuck, gonna fill you up, fuck you full of cum.”

Warmth pools in your stomach, the tip of his length kissing your cervix, painting your insides with milky streams. It’s too much to keep inside, unable to leak at all with how fat the Alphas knot is, making your cunt burn and ache. Forming a protruding bulge under your navel, cum fills up the area, making your toes curl as you reach down and poke at it. 

“Always wanted to do that.” Heeseung pants, collapsing forward to kiss you, knot pulling at your sore hole. He soothes the ache away with gentle pecks, cleaning the stains of tears away from your cheeks. “Give me like ten minutes for it to go down..”

Sniffling, you nod and let him trail kisses over every inch of your face, basking in the Alphas comforting attention and warm hands tracing up your back.

It takes longer for his knot to go down, not wanting to pull out yet. The longer you lay in exhausted silence, the more his mind clears, softly kissing to ease the burn as he slides out.

“Are you still mad at me?” Heeseung mumbles, littering kisses down your chewed up neck. 

Sighing, you relax in his hold and snort. “Fuck me like that again and I’ll consider pretending we didn’t have to go through this to get here.”

“Yeah?” He grins, nipping at your jaw. “Ready?”

“Not right now you animal!” The Alpha laughs, throwing in an exaggerated snarl before mouthing at your throat again. 

Clapping startles both of you, sitting up to find Jay leaned against the doorframe. “How predictable.”

“Get out of here.” Heeseung sits up more, baring his teeth. 

“Pftt, you should be thanking me!” He struts in, crossing his arms. “If it wasn’t for me you two would still be pussyfooting around playing this woe is me shit for the next month.”

Heeseung chucks a pillow at him, snapping his fingers. “Get the hell out of my room.”

“Ungrateful,” the other Alpha says, clicking his tongue. “I expect some type of gratitude! More than just a thank you card!” Pausing at the door, he winks at you. “Hey, if this doesn’t work out—“

“Out!”

“Alright alright!”

Heeseung apologizes, pulling you to his chest, muscles relaxing as he takes a deep breath of your scent. “Sorry about him.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Hey hey now,” the Alpha says in warning, chest rumbling, swatting your butt. “Don’t forget what I said.”

“And why should I listen to you?”

“Because,” he moves back to pinch your chin, nose grazing yours. “You’re mine.”

—————————————————————-

🙏🫰

🗗 UNLIKELIHOOD | p. sunghoon

n. the state or fact of not being likely to happen, be done, or be true.

PRECIS. the chances of you confessing to your crush sums to zero when you realise you have to pretend to have a crush on sunghoon, just to help your friend hide her feelings for the ice prince.

or, alternatively, in which you borrow an eraser from your friend, yi kyeong, which has sunghoon's name written on it. so, when the mentioned boy sees it, you have no other choice but to lie that you have a crush on him to avoid disclosing your friend's secret.

GENRE. humour, fluff, angst if you squint hard enough, coming of age, setter!sunghoon pls im on my knees

WARNINGS. profanities, food mentions, crying, dumb jokes, kys and kms jokes at times. sungchan cameo yayaya it was originally sunoo but that made things a tad bit harder. more or less an inner monologue.

NOTE. i said i won't be writing but here we are. this is very very slightly inspired by kieta hatsukoi. this, in no way, is supposed to disrespect the manga plot in anyway. i'm aware that it's a bl manga + show, i respect that. i wanted to write something with the plot and i know i could've made this a bl fic but first, i'm simply not comfortable with romantic portrayals of idol x idol ships and second, i'm not experienced with writing x male reader fics and i don't want to get anything wrong. besides, nothing really is same except the eraser and name incident. on another note, the pronouns for reader used here are they / them to make this more inclusive so you can imagine it whichever way you wish. send an ask / comment to join the taglist. happy reading. playlist

CHAPTERS | PROLOGUE

❝ on a scale of zero to ten, what is the unlikelihood of— ❞

،، one. creating a problem for yourself ،، two. failing at solving the problem ،، three. miscommunicate and worsen the problem ،، four. almost solving the problem ،، five. creating another problem

series taglist. [ open ] @fairybangtan @tobiosbbyghorl @gsknikki @marievllr-abg @staymiracle @iamsimplyasimp @cyuuupid @love-4-keum @softforqiankun @hobistigma @diestheticu @ihugchae @maiverie @makiswrld @maemarahuya @vantxx95 @hazalnut @abdiitcryy @happyyyandcrazyyy @my5colors

yours to tame

knight jeno x princess fem reader

genre: romantic comedy, period drama, childhood friends to “enemies” to lovers, smut, fluff, some light angst

warnings: mention of injuries (not serious), horse riding, swearing, masturbation, sex toys talk, anal talk, dirty talking, praising, use of princess and sir, fingering, biting, spanking, multiple orgasms, unprotected, oral m receiving, marking m receiving, blood sucking from finger, light choking f rec

words: 14.3k

You’ve been told the tale of your family your whole life: someone with royal blood will be the most dangerous person alive. It has been considered a funny joke until a bird got involved and suddenly you were relegated in your room with a bodyguard in front of your door. What happens if those men all get injured one after the other and you decide to use that to your advantage? And what can you do when your childhood friend you used to have an unrequited crush on is a knight and has been tasked to be your bodyguard as everyone else is too scared to?

as per tradition, this is dedicated to @sunflowerforhaechan​ <3

__________

If I am the most dangerous person alive, you do understand I do not need a bodyguard or anything, right? I can protect myself.” 

Your father sighed, hearing you trying to have the same conversation you’ve been having for the past days since the bird came to the palace. 

“Darling, you realise that the more dangerous a person is, the more in danger the person is as well,” your mother added, placing down her cutlery and putting her hands together in front of herself. “We just care about your safety. That’s all.” 

You stared at the peas on your plate with an annoyed exhale. 

Since you were born you’ve been told the tale of your bloodline being affected by a curse an infinite amount of times: someday someone with regal blood will be considered the most dangerous person alive. 

You used to joke a lot about it, using it as an excuse when you got in trouble. 

Keep reading

the roommate contract

pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

genres: fluff, crack, angst, suggestive, one-sided enemies to lovers, roommates au, brother’s best friend au, fake dating

wc: 11341

warnings: profanity, a very flirty jeno, jaemin and mc are siblings and she sorta badmouths him oops, lot of childish banter, jeno is older than the mc by two years, some angst at the end (lmk if i’ve missed anything!) 

summary: nothing could have been worse than getting kicked out of your house and having to move in with lee jeno—resident fuckboy, annoying asshole and your first heartbreak.

playlist: click here!

note: this was supposed to be slowburn but i kinda got impatient so i ditched that plan LMFAO this is a bit fast-paced imo but i hope you guys enjoy the fic! feedback is always appreciated :D

masterlist

That day, you made three mistakes. 

First: talking about your problems in public. Second: letting slip how desperate you were. Third (the gravest mistake): locking gazes with none other than Lee Jeno. 

He perked up when you yelled at Hwang Yeji, “I’ll have nowhere to go!” 

The moment the words were out, your wide eyes met his amused ones. Jeno quirked an eyebrow and smirked, walking over to the booth you and Yeji were seated at. 

“What’s this I hear about you needing a place to crash, Y/N?” he cooed, setting his cup of coffee on the table and sliding beside you. 

You glared at him, frowning when the bare skin of his arm brushed against yours. Shifting away, you snapped, “None of your damn business, Lee. Quit eavesdropping and get out of here.”  

Jeno’s smirk grew when he saw your discomfort. Throwing an arm around your shoulder, he pulled you against him. Your head smashed into his hard chest as he teased, “Now, now, is that how you treat your brother’s best friend?” 

You narrowed your eyes and craned your neck to look at him. “That’s how I treat an egotistical bastard who doesn’t know basic manners.” 

Jeno grinned at the insult, lightly bumping his forehead against yours. “You look so attractive right now.” 

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you shoved him away, cursing loudly. He laughed at your flustered state, his eyes turning into small crescent moons. 

This was Lee Jeno—a huge flirt who thought highly of himself due to the popularity he had gained as the star player of your university’s football team, and whose only personality trait was being ridiculously attractive. 

Keep reading

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗚𝗢𝗘𝗦 — 𝗦𝗜𝗫 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦

[#𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗢𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗦] ⇉ [𝗕𝗘𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚] want to hear what people are talking about? [#𝗳𝗶𝗰: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀]

𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧(𝗦) : ➤playlist #1 made by @saraannaisabel ➤playlist #2 made by me

𝗔𝗡 | the bonus parts are the bottom are written in jaemins pov and include extra content that hasn't been written in the official parts. you're more than welcome to skip the bonuses but please bare in mind that, again, they feature extra unseen content.

[ 𝗢𝗡𝗘 ] ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: for three months, after a hard breakup with your ex, you refuse to let another man worm his way into your life even if it was for love or pleasure to avoid that ugly feeling of heartbreak… but then you bump into jaemin 𝗪𝗖: 20.9k

[ 𝗧𝗪𝗢 ] ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: you and jaemin discuss your friends with benefits situation before things between you both start to escalate. also, your friends are crazy and they know about it. 𝗪𝗖: 14.7k

[ 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 ] ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: your friends with benefits relationship with jaemin starts to get more serious when he asks to be exclusive, and just as things go a little too well, things start to get bad. 𝗪𝗖: 15.9k

[ 𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥 ] ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: you finally get jaemin to open up about his past and someone from his past ends up right in front of his doorstep 𝗪𝗖: 18.2k

[ 𝗙𝗜𝗩𝗘 ] ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: ever since eunbin came back into the picture, you start to truly realise where you stand and what you want from jaemin... but nothing ever really goes the way it's supposed to go 𝗪𝗖: 30.9k

[ 𝗦𝗜𝗫 ] (𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟) ! 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: it's crazy how everything had came to be in your life, you didn't expect anything to happen the way it did. but you suppose that's the way life goes. 𝗪𝗖: 18.5k

[ 𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 (𝗣𝗧.𝟭) ] ! — 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗩 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝗪𝗖: 33k

[ 𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 (𝗣𝗧. 𝟮) ] ! — 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗩 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝗪𝗖: 14.3k

𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 (𝗣𝗧. 𝟯. 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟) ! — 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗩 [unwritten] 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: smut, angst, fluff 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝗪𝗖:

THREE'S A CROWD — [preview].

SYNOPSIS. three of your friends fight for your affection, totally not because they like you— but simply because they can’t stand the idea of you liking someone else.

PAIRINGS. jung sungchan, park wonbin, hong seunghan x female! reader. GENRE. college! au, rom-com, reverse harem, just a bunch of arrogant and silly little boys in denial, a collection of italicized oh moments in succession, featuring the rest of riize and nct. WARNINGS. swearing, explicit language, mild possessiveness, so much petty and childish behavior, drinking, breaking and entering, may add more in the full fic. WORD COUNT. preview: 3.2k | full fic: est. 15-18k.

RELEASE DATE. november to december. TAGLIST. send an ask/dm/reply to be added.

NOTE. i said i'd do it. so i did. i am. and i'm having so much fun writing another shitstorm of a harem so i hope you find this as fun as i do HAHAHHAHA. sick and tired of seeing nothing but smut under the riize x reader tag so here is my contribution to society. you're welcome.

preview under the cut.

THERE ARE CURRENTLY THREE HEADS IN THE MALE DORMITORY LOUNGE. One is Sungchan, tinkering with the foosball table by himself because the other two heads are refusing to play with him. Second is Wonbin laid comfortably on the couch, headphones on and using his lap as a drum set. Last is Seunghan, on the floor for some reason, and eyes trained intently on his phone with his thumbs tapping on the screen like a madman.

The number gets added when Sohee rushes in from the front door, a large McDonald’s paper bag in hand and four large cups of soda in the other. “Order’s here!” he announces. The three heads quickly pop up from their respective businesses and congregate to the dining corner of the room.

“Fuck,” Sungchan groans, following the scent of the warm, freshly cooked mcnuggets on the table. The other three are already seated and poking holes in their soda cups. Sungchan is still groaning like a zombie. The two open nugget boxes are enticing him. He won’t . He must not. “I can’t eat. I forgot I had dinner plans tonight.”

“With a girl?” Sohee asks. The number of nuggets is depleting by the second. If the rest of the guys come down, there will be none left for him.

“Yes,” Sungchan replies. He swallows hard. Wonbin takes the boot shaped chicken right before his very eyes. This is torture.

Seunghan scrunches his nose, mid-nugget. “Boo. You whore. It’s guys night. How can you do this to us?” 

“A few nuggets can’t hurt,” says Wonbin. He pokes the box closer to Sungchan. 

“You’re right. Move over.”

They snort at his flimsy conviction. Sungchan argues that he is simply experiencing the delicacies of both the east and the west tonight. You’re supposed to have Japanese with him tonight. There is nothing wrong with cross-cultural enjoyment. He is simply diversifying his palate.

“So, is it a date?” asks Seunghan.

“No. I’m just eating out with a friend.”

“Just the two of you?” 

Wonbin raises a brow with the question. Sungchan counts the numbers in his head. “Yeah.” If he eats another nugget, then that would make it five. Five can be counted with only one hand. That isn’t a lot. This is fine.

“Oh man,” Sohee snickers. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s a date.”

“No way!” he defends, the fifth and final nugget stuffed in his mouth. Sungchan swallows before continuing, wiping his hand on the pile of tissue papers on the table. “It’s not a date. I mean, she did tell me that she has a little crush on me, but it’s not a date.”

The three don’t miss the slight curl of his lips— a bastard’s sly grin. It’s a date. It’s definitely a date. Seunghan gives him a hard smack on the back. “The girl has a crush on you, how is it not a date, you piece of shit?”

“Ow! Hey!” he glares at him. “It really isn’t! We even had a whole talk we’re keeping it strictly platonic. I’m not interested in her in that way and she knows that. I’m not doing anything wrong here!”

There’s both disappointment and judgment in Wonbin’s face. “Quit leading her on.”

Sungchan gasps. “I’m not!”

“Who is it anyway?” Sohee asks right before taking an obnoxious sip on his soda. “Maybe I know her.”

“Well, I doubt it,” he starts. “I’m pretty sure you guys don’t know her, but she’s—”

Your name stumbles out of Sungchan’s mouth. It falls quiet, save for Sungchan’s explanation that he met you through the soccer team’s captain, Nakamoto Yuta, and that he’s known you for around half a year now. You’re in different majors, but it turns out you have quite a lot of friends from his team, so you bump into each other a lot. Sungchan knew about your crush on him early into your acquaintanceship— which is why having dinner with you and just you isn’t, “and shouldn’t be that big of a deal! It’s not a date. Seriously.”

“Okay, it’s not a date,” Sohee relents. Sungchan nods proudly at his victory.

“Yes. It is not.”

“But you know what’s funny—” Sohee’s eyes move to Seunghan. “The girl you told me about has the same name. What a coincidence.”

Seunghan is sitting on the table like a mound of stone. He’s got a half-eaten nugget in his hands. He’s not putting it in his mouth. “That’s right,” he simply says. There’s a faraway look in his eyes. “That is pretty funny. What a coincidence.” Coincidence, Seunghan repeats in his head. Yes. It must be a coincidence. He nods to himself and throws the nugget remnants into his mouth, satisfied with that conclusion.

“What girl?” Wonbin rouses. Seunghan turns his head to him sharply.

“Oh,” he says. “A friend from highschool.”

“A friend that’s had feelings for him since highschool,” Sohee grins. “You said she was pretty. Why didn’t you two start dating?”

Is this the chicken’s fault? Why the heck does everything keep circling back to dating? “I don’t know. I’ve just never seen her in that light,” Seunghan explains. He doesn’t know why he’s getting riled up, but he is. “And just because someone confessed to you doesn’t mean they want to start dating. Dude, I feel like you’re the one that should go and find a date. Being single is getting to your head.”

Seunghan has been friends with you since eleventh grade, being classmates and all. You confessed to him early into grade twelve, and even though he didn’t return your feelings, it was never awkward because you never acted differently. In fact, sometimes he second guesses if it actually happened. Just a few days ago, he asked if you still like him to confirm. All you said was, “yeah, why?” and continued working on your assignment. That’s why sometimes he forgets. That’s why it’s not worth bringing up.

Until now, when your name suddenly keeps popping up. Wonbin utters the same. Seunghan and Sungchan’s head quickly snap towards him. “You guys aren’t talking about SM-ARTS Chairperson, right?”

SM-ARTS is an art organization in your university. It’s been a well known org since its foundation— half because of its achievements, half because of its stupid (smart) name. “That’s...yes, that is her.” Seunghan gets a bad feeling. A really bad fucking feeling, and it’s not just having too much unhealthy chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. “Why? Do you also know her?”

“Of course I do. I’m literally her Vice Chair,” Wonbin furrows his brows. This is strange. He’s been working with you since the beginning of the year and you’ve never mentioned a Jung Sungchan nor a Hong Seunghan before. What’s even stranger is their assertions that you have feelings for them. You. For them. It’s a ridiculous thought to entertain because, “she literally told me that he has a crush on me. What are you two talking about?”

Wonbin couldn’t get a more direct confession than yours. It’s typical for the rest of your org officers and members to tease the both of you— the snickers and hollers when you’d call him to discuss something in private, the teasing saying you two look good together. Hell, some of the kids even call you both mom and dad and it’s gone to the point where he’s told them off to quit it because you might be uncomfortable. But you’d always say, “it’s fine,” and “you didn’t mind,” with a sweet smile on your face. Now, he’s no stranger to those insinuations, and for the sake of your professional relationship, he needed your denial or agreement.

Turns out, you do have a crush on him.

So this has become very, very awkward.

“Maybe—” Sungchan stammers. “Maybe...maybe we’re each talking about a different person, maybe there’s actually three different— oh, hey. What are you doing here?”

Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

“Hey!” 

The sound of your voice bouncing around the male dormitory walls feel foreign and jarring, especially after the conversation that had just transpired. You set down your bag on their couch, walking up to them with a bright smile that doesn’t match their vibe at all.

There’s tension in the air. A very thick and palpable tension and the three are exchanging glances and looks as if to say, ‘Go on. Go say hi to her first if she’s the girl you’ve been talking about.’

But you beat them to it. “Wow. I didn’t think you three knew each other!” you exclaim, skipping over to the dining corner where you find yourself in the gap between Sungchan and Seunghan. The two flinch at the closeness of your presence. Wonbin tightens his jaw. “Anyway, is Shotaro around? I need to talk to him about our trip this weekend, but he’s not replying.”

“He’s in his room. Upstairs. Fourth floor.” 

It’s not a competition, but hearing how quickly the response falls out of Wonbin’s lips sure does makes it seem like it is. Sungchan has his mouth open, gives Wonbin a look, before closing it again. Seunghan never even got the chance, and Sohee is looking at the scene unfold like it’s a goddamned trashy movie.

“Great, thanks!” you beam. “Oh, and we’re still up for dinner tonight, right?”

They can’t go for another speed contest because the question is reserved for one person only— Sungchan, who seems to be caught off guard. “Yeah. Absolutely,” he manages to squeeze out. You smile.

“Sweet. Wonbin, have you prepared the documents I asked for tomorrow’s meeting?”

It’s like a question carousel. “I’ll send them later for you to review.”

“Perfect! Right, and Seunghan—” There goes another rotation. “Mind driving me to the reunion this Friday? Jaeha bailed on me at the last minute, that son of a bitch.”

Seunghan blinks at you, in a daze. “Sure.”

“Nice! And you—”

Your attention lands on the last person at the table. Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan didn’t expect you to even entertain him. “Sohee,” their friend fills in, a little taken aback. You flash him a bright grin.

“Sohee! Nice to meet you! Love your necklace. Very chic.”

For some reason the smile on Sohee’s face is annoying to the other three boys. “Thanks!” he says. “Have a nugget before you go.” They didn’t think it was possible, but somehow your face glows even brighter and you lean down, still between Seunghan and Sungchan, to pick up a piece from the box. 

“Thought you guys would never offer. Thank you! I’ll see you around!”

With that you disappear up the stairs, and you take all the noise and the life in the room with you. It’s quiet. So quiet— almost like there’s a standoff. That is until Sohee clears his throat, still pink from the compliment you gave him, and says, “Well. Seems like she’s the same person.” 

No fucking shit, she’s the same person. They can’t keep making excuses anymore. 

Seunghan tries to play it off with a laugh. “I can’t believe you guys would lie and joke about her having a crush on you.” His laugh isn’t well taken by the other two. It spirals down to shit all too quickly.

“What do you mean ‘lie’?” Wonbin narrows his eyes.

Sungchan hollers in. “Yeah, if anything, you’re the one that’s lying! You and him both!”

“Why would I lie?!” Seunghan protests.

“I don’t know— maybe because you’re jealous that she likes me and not either of you?”

Before they can start throwing fists, Sohee interrupts by making himself the collective target. “Have you guys considered,” he starts, hands solemnly pressed together above the crumb littered table. “That she might have a tinge of feelings for all three of you? Not just one?”

They pause in consideration. It takes them five seconds to brush him off.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“No way.”

“Why would she?”

Sohee sighs and gives up. He hears a set of footsteps rushing down and hopes it’s you, so that his three friends would finally quit it. It is you, and Sohee lifts up. Your timing is impeccable. He’s almost convinced you’ve been listening the whole time.

“Hey,” you greet them once again, flashing a smile once, before going off to retrieve your bag from the couch. The three quiet down instantaneously and have resigned to glaring at each other in seething silence. Seunghan isn’t very good at glaring at people, so he reorganizes his strategy instead.

“How’s the thing with Taro hyung?” he asks, twisting his chair to face you better. Sungchan and Wonbin give him a dirty look. That bastard. He’s even considering body language into play.

“Oh! The trip is canceled.” You sling your bag over your shoulder. “So my Sunday has been cleared. Do you guys want to make plans?”

Crap.

You just tossed them a bone.

Sohee is sure this isn’t gonna end pretty.

“Why don’t we go on a date?”

All eyes are wide. Their heads snap in the direction of Wonbin— the fast bastard. His expression is nonchalant, but his shaking knee from under the table says otherwise. “There’s a contemporary art exhibit opening downtown. Let’s check it out together,” This bitch, Sungchan’s expression seems to say. Seunghan’s disappointment seeps through the air.

“Like. A date, date?” you confirm, eyes batting expectantly, as if you have a barrier against the palpably sour and rotten mood flooding the room in ominous swirls.

“Yeah,” Wonbin confirms. He’s lucky you’re too far away to notice the sweat dripping down his neck. “Is...is that a problem? You said you liked me. Why don’t we give it a shot?”

All hell breaks loose the moment you entertain them with flustered cheeks and a shy smile.

“No! Don’t go!” Sungchan’s had it. He can’t take this anymore. “If there’s anyone you should be going out with, it should be me! You like me! Not them!”

Seunghan has left his seat and has scrambled over to you. Wonbin and Sungchan’s eyes widen. They aren’t letting him do this. They quickly follow suit but Seunghan already has a firm hold on your arms and is looking deep into your eyes. He’s put up an invisible barrier. Fuck, that sneaky bastard.

“Were you actually serious when you said that you had a crush on me since eleventh grade?” His voice cracks. If he’s trying to tap into your pity, then it’s definitely fucking working. “But why are these two saying you like them? What about us?! Am I nothing to y—”

Your index finger finds its way over Seunghan’s lips. Silence befalls. Your blank face settles into a sound smile.

“Well,” you pry Seunghan’s hands off you, still smiling pleasantly at all of them. What is this ominous feeling? Why doesn’t it seem like you’re actually smiling at them? “As far as I remember, none of you returned my confessions.”

It’s like a hammer hits all three of them at once.

“And I still like you Seunghan. We literally talked about it the other day.” You gave him a two word answer then brushed him off your essay. That was hardly a conversation. Seunghan feels wronged beyond words.

“How—how about me?”

You look over to Sungchan, who looks arguably like a kicked puppy. “What about you?”

“Well,” he clears his throat, a faint blush coating his ears. “Do you still, uh, have feelings for me too, or—”

“Sungchan, do you think I’d have kept asking you to have dinner alone with me every week if I didn’t like you?” He blinks. Beside him, Wonbin points a finger to himself. You let out a breath. “I’d be blind and tasteless if I wasn’t into you, Wonbin. Especially after working closely together since the beginning of the year. Why are you guys asking me this?”

Sohee has stopped liking all these ominous periods of silence because they’re signs that even more chaos is about to ensue. His three friends’ eyes look empty and hollow as they stare at you. Oh god, they’re far gone.

“So,” Wonbin starts.

“You like us,” Seunghan follows.

“Like all three of us,” Sungchan finishes. 

You give them a smile reminiscent of a kindergarten teacher feeling a swell of pride after her student finishes reciting the alphabet. Sohee feels sympathy pains for his friends. “Yup. I also have a crush on Johnny from med, but he’s graduating soon, so that’s a bummer. Oh! And our TA Jung Jaehyun! He has the face of a god!” Oh, dear. You stomp on them then finish it off with a spit on their faces. Sohee bites his lip, feeling both horrendously bad and curious as to how this shitshow will conclude. 

The three simmer in silence. You give them a raised brow.

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Oh, there’s a fucking problem, alright.

“Why are you guys looking at me like that? I did confess to all three of you saying I have a crush on you, but I never said I was in love with you.”

Well, damn.

Neither of them like you like that, but that shit hurt for no fucking reason.

“Don’t think too much of it, sillies! And I don’t get why you’re all so affected when you’re the ones who didn’t return my feelings.” 

Your laughter is poison and your smiling face is tearing them apart. You’re heartless. You’re a devil disguised as an angel. You’re from the deepest depths of hell and have come to earth for the sole reason of tooth-achingly sweet and strawberry scented torment. If they can fall to their knees right now, they would, but their pride is tattered enough already— ripped to shreds by your unapologetic bluntness and honesty.

“Anyway, since I already have plans with the three of you within the week, Sungchan’s later this evening—” The man in question is pouting. He’s pouting very hard when your eyes skip over him, and zones into the person that’s been quiet this entire time. “Sohee! Wanna go bowling with me and my bio friends this Sunday?”

That was a bomb. A large and dangerous bomb. “Sure?” Sohee responds unknowingly. You give them one last sweet smile of torture before finally leaving.

“Great! Get my number from any of them. I have to go meet some people. Later! Thanks for the snack!”

With that, you leave them behind, but not without a trace of disaster. Once they’ve confirmed you’re gone and out, signaved by the tight shutting of the door, Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan look at each other. Then at Sohee. Then back at the closed door once more.

It’s quiet again. They don’t need to talk to settle with three mutual conclusions.

One. Sohee isn’t getting shit after the emotional massacre they went through. He can go crawl and scavenger for your number elsewhere for all they care.

Two. There’s no doubt. They all know you and you all know them. This is something they can’t ignore anymore, so they have to figure out how to behave in case a run in like this happens again,

And three—

You like them. All three of them. At the same time. 

Their pride can’t stand the idea of sharing that affection. Absolutely not. Therefore three must drop down to one. Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan are dead set on making sure that that one is going to be him.

THREE'S A CROWD. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.