Working On Part Two Of Love Of My Life. Part Two Will Be Out In Sometime This Week.my Wonderful Friend

Working on part two of Love Of My Life. Part two will be out in sometime this week. my wonderful friend is pushing me to add a tag list so, if you want to be on it, just say something. im tired, I need sleep. Good night, good morning, good afternoon, good evening! Enjoy your day!

How would you guys read the Grisha books? Like start with six of crows or start with shadow and bone? Is it worth it to read them?

<3

SHATTERED SOUL

Eris angst :( not even x reader. just him being sad. Sorry in advance.

Warnings: heavy abuse, blood, very sad I think (it was when I wrote it.) also not proofread… and I think I italicized everything that needed to be??

Shatter: to hold something to tightly that it would break.

That’s all Eris had, really.

Broken things.

Nothing physical, really, aside from a few bones and lacerations in his skin. But those broken bones bore a broken body, broken soul. His broken mindset, which was instilled in him since he was young, to rule them, you have to break them.

His father’s words rang in his ears as the male tossed and turned all night. One of those all too common sleepless nights. Wallowing in self pity, hatred swarming his mind - he hated that this was the life he was born into, hated that he did nothing about it, hated that he couldn’t, hated that he gave up so easily.

Hated that no matter how many brothers his mother gave him, how many servants swore their loyalty to him, how many soldiers died for him, how many females he bedded, he truly had no one. No other soul that could bare those secrets he kept, could see the mangled up body his father created and manage not to vomit. Hell - it made him want to.

There was nobody to calm his fits of rage, when the fire all but consumed him, burning the furniture and wooden walls of his bedchamber. “Not a soul,” his mother murmured to herself, running her hand through the young male’s red curls. She watched the craftsmen reinforce his room with iron - the walls and doors thick and heavy enough that should Eris combust into flame, he would not burn down the whole estate. Not one ember could escape; or enter, Eris thought.

“It is for our protection,” his father reminded him, just a young male of seven. “So you don’t go around incinerating the whole damn house.” Eris’s grip on his porcelain fox tightened. A keepsake his mother gifted him - she fixed it neatly on his bedside table once he’d grown out of his crib. Eris was too afraid to leave it in the room with all the workers; his favorite little fox must be protected. “You don’t own these Fae,” Beron continued, referring to the servants and maids that bustled around the Forest House. “I do. You will be best to keep your fire to yourself in there.”

He continued, despite turning to walk down the hall. “Should you throw another fit to burn down your bedchamber, no one will be able to enter. That includes - ” his voice raised. “To save you.”

Eris flinched, not at the words, the hateful language his father offered him since the day he was born, but at the shatter in his hands. The broken pieces of glass that sliced his fingers and carried his crimson blood to the marble floor.

Beron turned on his heel from the end of the corridor. Lady of Autumn waited with baited breath as she tried to anticipate her husband’s next move. But he only nodded. “Good. I hated that thing anyway.” With that, he turned away, leaving his son and pregnant wife to watch the remainder of the male’s cage be welded together.

The first of many broken things, Eris thought, holding his pillow over his head, trying to block out any of the light and noise that just wasn’t there, yet blurred his mind and evaded him of sleep.

He’d learned to suppress the flames.

All by himself.

All alone in that iron room.

It was something he’d taught his brothers, too, once they grew of age. Eris was the only one with the metal walls - he was the only one that needed it. He’d protected the rest of them enough to prevent them from burning down the house, instead accidentally wiping out whole orchards and half the Autumn forest.

He mastered the flames for himself and all his brothers. He no longer burned hotter than a thousand suns when he was angered. He didn’t burn down his bedroom, nor the furniture.

But Eris could never master the art of suppressing his anger. When he was eighteen, he shattered the whole entirety of his bathtub.

The day he’d left Morrigan in the woods, just across the Autumn Border, his father nearly killed him. Not for anything he particularly did, but for the simple embarrassment he caused the High Lord. There wasn’t anything else she should have done (aside from maybe executing her) that his father would have preferred. But for the Night Court to spit in the face of Autumn? By offering their heir a female who’d rather lie with Illyrian scum than Autumn royalty? It enraged him.

Eris actually wished Beron killed him adter enduring the beating his father gave him. A male that barely reached an age in the double-digits, held by two of Autumn’s strongest soldiers, beaten bloody, chained up and whipped until he passed out. He didn’t know he could be burned so badly - not with his own fire powers swirling through his veins. But he couldn’t keep up, too tired, too tired, too much blood loss. He couldn’t ward off his father’s flames with his own, he couldn’t stand, could barely breathe, let alone produce flame.

And when he finally recovered enough to winnow from the cellar to his room - the cage, he’d strangely never felt safer in - he laid on the expensive rug, dry blood flaking off his body, until he healed. Until he could drag himself to the bath to clean his wounds.

He sat in the tub, right in the center, hunched over in the water that began to boil around him due to the heat the male was emitting. His hands reached for either side of the tub wall, fingers gripping the edge until his pale knuckles ran truly white.

A soft gasp left his lips when the walls around him shattered and the water fell from around him. He loosed a string of profanity when he shook his foggy head and realized what happened. Streams of fresh red blood ran down his arms and dripped over his wet legs. He carelessly plucked away the thick shards of porcelain and cursed the Mother - and himself.

His mother promptly replaced it with a copper one.

Eris rolled over in his bed, throwing the pillow aside and turning away from the bathing room, instead facing the wall of windows. The heavy drapes were all drawn shut - not an ounce of light entered his bedchamber. But his eyes burned bright regardless.

He didn’t know how to calm his little fits of anger.

But he dreamt of a lover that could.

Someone who didn’t fear his fire, he wouldn’t have to suppress his flames around her, he could let the harmless hellfire run circles around them, encapsulating him and his lover in a blaze reserved just for the two of them.

He dreamt of a time and world where he we wasn’t broken - where he wasn’t breaking things. One where the teacups didn’t shatter under his touch and slice his palms. Where he could look at his lover and remember that his world was not ending. That no matter how much his father beat him and berated him, he could leave and there was someone to hold each night.

Or a not-so-far-off world where she would pick the glass from his wounds and kiss his hands until they were healed. And he would let the tears fall from his eyes, she would brush them away with the faintest touch. And everything he’d been holding in for the past five hundred years would be worth it, just for one moment with her.

And for the millionth time, he laid in bed, hot and skin coated with sweat, trying not to erupt into a fit of flames, he dreamt of a a lover that held him tight. So tight, she would keep him from breaking.

But Eris holding her so tight that she might break. That she’d crack in his arms and fill all the voids he had in his broken sliced skin, between his bones, and through all the ridges of his scars. That you’d become one whole being - shared breath, shared space, shared soul.

Working Arrangement (Azriel x Reader)

Summary// You and the Shadowsinger had an arrangement, one that worked perfectly. That was until you got to know him.

Note: This was a request by @hazelqualquer. Looking at this now, I realize I could've made it about Azzy being worried, and it would've been cute, but uh... yeah, I didn't go that route.

Request: I wanted to know if you can write something based on the music.... the name is Enchanted...(I thought this song was similar to Azriel, so if you can write this fic about him I'll be very happy)

————————————

You stood against the wall, dress hugging your curves the way you knew he liked. The Shadowsingers gaze had been tracking you all night, his eyes holding a dark promise, one that made your blood heat. He’d kept his distance thus far, allowing you to talk with Feyre and Rhys, the very reason for the party now in full swing. The High Lady had been hard at work for the past few months, planning her mate a surprise birthday party. You’d been more than happy to help, spending the whole morning decorating the room while his brothers kept him distracted. Body aching the whole day, thoughts of Azriel plaguing your mind.

You weren’t together. You’d made sure to draw that line after the first time it happened. When you’d first met, you both needed some kind of release. So that’s what you got. Quick, amazing, meaningless sex. Or at least that’s what it’d started as. You still hadn’t gained the courage to tell Azriel that you didn’t feel that way anymore. That you wanted more. It hadn’t taken long for you to fall for his charm, to fall for him.

You snapped out of your thoughts, looking up to find him watching you intensely. His head tilted to the side, a silent question. One that you’d be more than happy to answer. You set your drink down, making your way out of the room, knowing he followed close behind you.

The sounds from the party grew distant as you moved further away. You felt an arm wrap around your waist, pulling you into a storage room. He was on you the second the door shut, crowding you against the cool wood. You met his stare, eyes dark with lust. He dove down to your mouth, hand snaking around your leg and raising it to his hip. You eagerly matched his pace, allowing his tongue to slip into your waiting mouth. You moaned against him, fingers diving into his hair as he rolled his hips against yours, allowing you to feel the bulge growing beneath his dress pants.

“Azriel.” You panted out.

He growled as he hoisted you up, wrapping your legs around his hips and swinging you both around. Your ass landed on the counter as he surged forward, reconnecting your lips. His fingers hooked around the straps of your dress, pulling them down effortlessly. You sucked in a sharp breath as the cool air brushed against you bare chest, nipples hardening further. Azriel moved to your neck, slowly kissing his way down your body.

His voice was rough, “I’m going to fuck you so good, princess.”

You whined, tilting your hips up in desperation. You needed him inside you now. Your thoughts clouded as he knelt down on one knee, hand slowly dragging your dress up your thighs and bunching it at your hips.

He dragged his finger over your clothed center, “So wet for me.”

You groaned, grinding your hips against his fingers, needing more. He grinned, shamelessly edging you on as he pulled the lace down your legs. As he stood, you lunged forward, kissing at his neck as you worked to undo his belt. He tilted his head, bearing his neck to you as his hands wrapped under your knees and pulled you forward.

You moaned, mouth watering as his cock sprang free from the confines of his pants. He hooked your leg over his hip, lining himself up to your entrance. His hand wrapping around your neck, tilting your head, allowing you to meet his eyes. Pushing in, the both of you let out a sinful moan.

“So fucking tight, y/n.” He groaned as he brought his forehead to yours, watching the way your eyes rolled back as he pulled out slowly before slamming back into you, hitting that perfect spot.

You both knew someone could come looking for you at any time, the thrill of it bringing you closer to the edge as Azriel set a unforgiving pace. He captured your moans with his mouth, needing to quiet his own grunts as you both neared the edge. Your arms wrapped around him, nails scrapping his clothed back as you barreled into your orgasm. The white hot bliss continued as Azriel pounded into you, thrusts becoming uneven as he too neared his release. He pushed you through a second orgasm, this time joining you. Your heavy panting filled the room as you both worked to gain your bearings.

He pulled away from you, beginning to readjust himself. You hopped down, fixing your dress and hair, quickly swiping your under eyes to catch any smudged mascara. Azriel said nothing, only nodding towards you before turning and letting himself out. You steeled your spine, that familiar pang of hurt beginning to bloom within your your body as you made your way out of the room, following closely behind him.

————————————

Your heart was beating out of your chest as you made your way to his room. After the party, you knew you needed to tell the Shadowsinger, owing it to yourself more than anything. You tried to calm your nerves, terrified of his reaction despite trying to tell yourself that it didn’t matter. But you knew it did. Your heart would be shattered if he turned you away.

He wouldn’t though. You’d seen the way he looked at you when you were together. The long looks thrown across the room. He had to care for you, he had to. As you rounded the corner, inhaling a deep breath and readying yourself to face him, the man you loved, you pulled up short.

You darted back around the corner, peeking your head out and using the shadows to stay hidden. You watched in confusion as Azriel crowded Elain against the door, placing one hand above her head and the other on her waist as he grinned down at her. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, cheeks becoming rosie at whatever crude words were being exchanged. You silently begged your feet to move, but they stayed put, forcing you to watch what would unfold in front of you.

You watched in horror as Azriel bent down, running his lips across Elaine’s. Tears began blurring your vision as they deepened the kiss, her hand sliding into his hair and pulling him closer. You were stupid, so incredibly stupid to believe for even a second that he cared about you. Your hands shook as you watched her giggle before placing her hand on the door knob at her back, watching the way Azriel grinned as she tugged him into the room before kicking the door shut with a soft click.

You heard the lock turn, the sound deafening. Spinning on your heel, you sprinted back to your room. Slamming the door shut, your body slumped against it before sliding to the floor. No longer were you able to hold back the sobs that were tearing through you as your heart shattered.

————————————

You didn’t bother getting out of bed the next day, or the one after that. As you lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, you debated another day. Realistically, your family probably already knew that something was up and going another day would only worsen the round of questions they would inevitably have. You reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed, dawning your leathers and heading up to the training ring. You inwardly groaned, seeing Cassian, Nesta, and Rhysand in the middle of their own training. Cass threw you a look that you ignored, turning to get started.

It’d been over an hour, your body slick with sweat as you pushed yourself further, welcoming the burn. Azriel had shown up shortly after you had. You’d thought about leaving, but ultimately decided against it. If he could go on with his life like nothing happened, then so could you. But Mother above, he made it difficult. His perfectly chiseled body was on full display, shining slightly under the morning sun. You hadn’t missed the looks he’d been giving you all morning, choosing to ignore the way they sent heat straight to your core.

As you finished, you headed to the water station to grab a drink before you would flee back to the safety of your room. You didn’t know how you’d survived the heated glances that were being thrown your way but you weren’t about to push your luck. You said nothing as you gathered your stuff, swinging the roof door open and taking off down the stairs.

“Y/n!”

You quickened your steps, “Y/n.” Azriel’s hand banded around your arm, eyes darting around before pulling you into yet another storage closet.

He spun you around, pinning you against the door before leaning down to connect your lips. You instinct, your mouth began to move against his own. You planted your hands firmly on his chest, shoving him back.

He looked down at you, confusion breaking through his mask before placing a hand on your hip, “I’ve been thinking about you for the past few days. Where you been, princess?”

He made to pull you closer as you let out a laugh, completely void of humor, quickly placing your hand over his and removing it from your body, “Oh yeah? Was that before or after you fucked Elain?”

He pulled back from you, “Y/n, what are you talking about?”

You crossed your arms, “Sure, sure. I guess we’ll both just pretend that I didn’t see you kiss Elain in the hallway before following her into her room.”

His expression morphed into one of frustration, his stance becoming defensive, “Why were you following me?”

You took a deep breath, supposing that it didn’t matter now, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He stalked towards you, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him, “Why, y/n? What did you want to talk about.”

You steeled your spine, knowing that you were shooting yourself in the foot by telling him but needing him to know anyways, “I wanted to talk about our arrangement.”

He cocked a brow, waiting for you to continue, “It’s not working for me anymore.”

He backed away, eyes never straying for yours, “And why’s that?”

You closed your eyes before exhaling, the truth flying out with it, “Because I love you, Azriel. I know it wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did and I can’t do anything about it. I need more Az, more than just the hook-ups.”

He said nothing, only watching you before letting out a booming laugh that had you flinching, “Oh my gods, y/n. You’re serious?”

Your silence spoke for you as his expression hardened, light amusement in his eyes, “Don’t you get it, y/n? We could never be more than this.”

You watched, confused as he made his way to the door, “And why’s that?”

He threw a look back at you, speaking matter-of-factly, “Because, y/n, there’s no nice way to put this: your just a good fuck.”

The door closed, jarring you as the tears began streaming down your cheeks.

I wonder if anyone will do this….. go ahead!

Emoji Game ♡

🍄 ~ I really enjoy your blog's aesthetic.

🌿 ~ Your username/URL is very cool.

😳 ~ I do not really like your content, because...

🥺 ~ I would like to talk to you but I am too shy.

🦊 ~ I wish you would post more about...

💌 ~ I really need a kind message right now.

😪 ~ You don't seem very nice.

🥀 ~ I don't like you.

💭 ~ I have been thinking about you recently.

💝 ~ You are very sweet.

🧚‍♀️ ~ You are a fairy.

☕ ~ I would like to drink a tea with you one day.

🧁 ~ I would share my sweets with you.

⭐ ~ You are inspiring.

🥣 ~ If you were feeling sick, I would make soup for you.

🍂 ~ I am not a big fan of yours.

🌼 ~ I would appreciate if you could rate my blog.

🕊 ~ Please send me a message, I am too nervous to.

☀️ ~ I appreciate you.

☁️ ~ Share a fact about yourself.

🌾 ~ I liked your blog at first but now I don't anymore.

🌷 ~ I would pick flowers with you.

🌸 ~ I think you are cute.

🌳 ~ I wish you would...

🍬 ~ I like you very much.

Left Behind part 3 (Lucien x reader)

A/n: Im have decided something (drumroll please)! I dislike this perspective. Also this part was slightly rushed even if it came out later than the others (sorry).

⚠️ - meh

word count- 1200 (finally put a word count…)

part 1 part 2 epilogue masterlist

*****

Y/n was going to be the death of him. When had she gotten so gods damned beautiful? Or she'd always been that beautiful and he'd been too blind to see it. No, that couldn't be it, could it? But Lucien sensed a new confidence in her, as if 15 years of raising a child alone had given her a new strength.

She smiled at him but it was guarded, not the joyful, carefree smile she always used to gift him. He had thrown away that gift like it was nothing. Lucien cleared his throat, "Shall we?" He motioned toward the kitchen door where the smell of tomato sauce could be detected. Y/n eyed him suspiciously before nodding slowly and starting toward the kitchen.

When they walked in Jurian and Alex were chilling at the table. Jurian smirked, "You two lovebirds are making dinner." He directed y/n to boiling the noodles and Lucien to cutting the vegetables. As Lucien picked up the knife to cut the veggies he glanced at Alex and Jurian. They were bantering back and forth, sending snarky comments to the other. Alex picked up a blade deftly and threw it at him so it speared his broccoli.

"Stop staring and get to work already!" He smirked and mockingly saluted her. His daughter, he couldn't hold back his smile. And she'll be a lovely emissary one day, he thought. True to his daughters order, he got to work.

*****

When making dinner, neither she or Lucien spoke until Vassa burst through the doors and saw their predicament. She paled. Alex jumped up and dragged the Queen out to presumably tell her what was happening.

Y/n glanced at Lucien to see him done with cutting and watching her intently. She looked away and finished boiling the pasta. Once dinner was ready shel left the males to serve it and went to find Vassa. She found her and Alex outside, talking in the gardens. She joined them while Vassa asked her, "How did you guys end up here? Alex is taking forever."

Patting Alex's head Y/n said, "I was searching for this one and I'd searched everywhere except here so I flew over and found Luci already here, talking with Alex!!

Both females turned to stare at Alex expectantly and she squirmed under their combined stares. "We... just talked, got caught up on 14 years of gossip I guess.

"Guys! Dinners ready!" They all jumped as Lucien emerged from the back door, a tense smile on his lips. "And um, Y/n can I talk to you?"

The others all looked at Y/n as she nodded and all but shoved them towards the door. "Don't wait to eat on our account" she called as the door shut. Turning to face Lucien, Y/n smiled at him tightly.

Lucien nervously grinned back and began, "look Y/n, I'm really sorry about 15 years ago. First I didn't know you were pregnant and I know that's not a good excuse or reason for you to forgive me. I'm not sure it would have impacted my decision but you need to know the day before I left I got a letter from Elain. It said that she was willing to try with me and give us a chance if I stopped seeing you. So I slept on it and left the next day because the letter ate off all my insecurities, like you would leave me because you are way out of my league. I know that's not a good excuse either but just let me continue, please."

Y/n smirked at Lucien. "Ya know Luci, I woke up in the middle the night and found the letter on the counter... but I didn't expect you to actually follow what Elain said. But go on." She crossed her arms and waited.

It was a good five minutes before Lucien throat could work again. "I loved you, I truly did. When I first got to night everyone was so confused to see me and when I told them about the letter Elain claimed she didn't write it and wanted nothing to do with me. I broke down then and Feyre comforted me through it all. We found out that one of my brothers had sent the letter as a cruel joke. She urged me to talk to both Elain and you, to work out my problems. So I tried to talk to Elain but every time she gave me the cold shoulder I thought of your face when I left you. The way I made you cry when I promised myself I would never do that to a female I loved. So for fifteen years I saw your face everywhere and I tried to build up the courage to go find and talk to you. This is the first time I've been outside the night court ever since I left you behind. I left the love of my life behind and I was too afraid to face the consequences of my decisions. But if you'll take me Y/n, I will be yours forever. I never stopped loving you and I never will."

Y/n watches as Lucien finishes and stares at her feet, she studies him, he truly does love her. She smiles knowing he's waiting for her to reject him and a small selfish part of her tells her to wait so he can feel some of the pain she felt.

After a good minute of silence Lucien looks up to see Y/n smirking at him. She stops smiling as they're eyes meet and she carefully leans forward and kisses him. The kiss is light, but passionate and only lasts for about a second, both Far relishing the taste of the other on their tongue. As she pulls away Lucien smiles and pulls her back.

Y/n grins, "Okay Luci but I need to make some things clear. First this relationship if we choose it requires both parties to be completely truthful about anything even relatively important. But Lucien if you are to leave again I don't think my heart could heal again. Besides we have Alex and if you leave, her heart is too young to break. And if you still harbor feelings for Elain then all of this is off and I'm not getting back together." She pulls back and looks at Lucien.

Lucien thinks for a moment before grinning and pulling her back into his arms. "I promise I will not leave you, not for Elain, not for anyone else. I think some small part of me will always care for Elain unless we break the bond. But I am yours forever."

Y/n smiles, "Good enough." They embraced as magic coursed between their souls.

Suddenly whoops rang out through the garden and someone slow clapped. Alex came running and hugged her parents. She smiled up at Lucien, her new father, and an evil grin spread over her face. “I’m so going to beat you in training!”

Y/n smiled down at her daughter, their daughter. “You won’t be able to beat him if you can’t beat me. And you cant beat me.”

Lucien smiled, eyes shining. And nudged Alex out of the way before smoothly reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. Simultaneously opening the box and sliding to his knee he grinned up at Y/n.

“Will you give me the honor of marrying me, my beautiful Y/n?”

a/n: I think I want an epilogue… do y’all want one? It’ll be focused around Alex. Enjoy your day!

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