C0ldspaghetti - Dumb And Horny - Tumblr Blog

it’s that time again where my every waking thought is of theses two hot ass psychos

honestly yes but more importantly...FROG AND TOAD!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH💖💖💖💖

anyone got any good fanfic recs? looking for vampires or literally any monsters xreader! ik ik people who like xreader are considered cringey but honestly i just wanna pretend that an angsty vampire woman fell in love with me and now is caressing me as i sleep ok??? is that too much to ask???

i have over 20 accounts blocked on here and every single one is porn bots😂😂😂 y won’t they leave me alone??? i don’t care that Jennifer 3 miles away is hot and bothered

WTF??? apparently i have 41 followers???? are y’all ok? cuz i’m never active lol 😂 but honestly i feel like more than half of you are porn bots

am i the only one who wants to get railed by Dracula’s Brides??👩🏼👩🏻👩🏻‍🦰

One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.

So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.

I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.

Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.

After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”

I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.

We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.

i needed this 🥺 thank you

you’ve reached a checkpoint!

go get yourself a glass of water

have you had enough to eat? go get yourself a little snack

how’s your posture? stretch your back if you have to

happy scrolling!

theindianexpress / pascalchampion / hozier, ‘to noise making’ / titanic (1997) dir. james cameron / my chemical romance, ‘sing’ / abc news / dead poets society (1989) dir. peter weir / bertolt brecht

It’s terminal, say your goodbyes now.

You’re a stage five dumbass.

*gets addicted to literally anything that distracts me from the fact i exist*

this is the most aggressive i've ever seen him get and i for one am positively LIVING for this kind of cold wrath

Is there anything that makes me happier than the Harry Potter cast basically saying "fuck you JKR" and speaking up against transphobia? The answer is no

Gwaine doesn’t deny it he’s just ready to fight

Doot doot

boop boop

I might send this twice, sorry if I do, also, I'm sorry that you never got a response to the kpop company post, I assume you were never given a placement in a company as well.... For the kpop company, I place you in Fantagio. I'll give you two extra random kpop songs since you had to wait so long 1. OMG - HALO, 2. Spark - JBJ95, and 3. Wake Up - D1CE (my apologies if you've heard these songs before)

thank you! and no i’ve never heard them but i look for too! ☺️ thanks again

Basically SU AU Gone Wrong in a nutshell!

This is so, so important you guys.

I’m cackling

Voltron Characters as that “text your bae ‘i want a baby challenge”

Shiro:

Keith:

Lance:

Hunk:

Pidge:

Allura:

Matt:

Lotor:

Bob’s Burgers, Christmas in the Car (S04E08)

Remember to drink water babes

once i figure out how to hold a conversation, it’s friendship for you bitches