Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne Are You Batman?

Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?

Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?

Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?

—

Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?

Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?

Duke Thomas: Am I what?

Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?

Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.

—

Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?

Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.

It's a real banger...

AI disturbance overlays for those who don't have Ibis paint premium. found them on tiktok

Green thumb (dp x dc)

“Why won’t you grow?” Danny asked the little corner of fresh dirt he’d been allocated when he’d signed up for the community garden project. Sam had been the one to suggest it, and with significantly less ghost-fighting to do now that he’d moved away, it had seemed like a great new hobby.

“I gave you water, and all the other things Sam said to do, what more could you have wanted,” Danny said as he poked the desiccated stalk despondently.

Somewhere far off, there was the echo of screams, and something like a crash. Danny paid it no mind, thinking it might be an event or something starting. Gotham was a big city, and there was always something going on.

“I can’t tell Sam about this,” Danny sighed as he put his face in his hands. “She’d laugh at me.”

He sat in front of his failed tomato plants for a while longer before getting to his feet with a sigh. As he did, he turned to walk away, only to see a woman with bright red hair and greenish skin standing a few paces away. Behind her there was something like a cloud of something and Danny immediately stopped breathing.

Not having to breathe was definitely his favourite power ever, he hated hay fever.

“Hey,” Danny said with a little wave.

In response the woman raised an arm and a thick vine-looking thing shot out of the ground.

“Holy shit!” The halfa exclaimed. That was pretty cool. Controlling plants was seriously an awesome power, and majorly underrated if one listened to Sam’s rants.

Wait, controlling plants?

“Can you revive my tomato plants?” Danny asked the woman enthusiastically, before remembering himself. “Uh, please?”

The woman stopped moving and frowned.

“It’s just that I really tried to keep it alive, but this is the first time I’ve taken care of plants and I was really looking forward to fresh tomatoes,” the halfa babbled.

She tilted her head.

“Please? I can get you a smoothie in exchange, I know a great place, they also do ice cream.”

The woman’s lips twitched and then she waved her hand and continued walking.

Danny turned around to find his tomato plant green and alive.

“Oh my god, thank you!” He yelled, but she was already leaving.

Danny owed her the best smoothie in town.

A story within a story where a mother sits her rowdy children down and tells them a story about a the world's sweetest, kindest mother who never lost her temper, never cursed and never yelled at her children, no matter how rowdy they could get. She would only gently, kindly told them to not do the dangerous things. One day she sweetly, kindly told her children to not go play at the riverbank, because it's dangerous and they might slip on the rocks, fall into the water, and die. Her children do not listen. They go play at the riverbank, where they slip on the rocks, fall into the water, and die.

And the sweet perfect mother of the story comes to the riverbank, sees that all her children drowned, and starts crying so bitterly that angels overhear her, and the angels say to each other, "she does not deserve this, this woman has never done anything wrong in her life, this should not have happened to her", and feeling great pity for her, bring her children back to life, and after that they always listened to their mother and lived happily ever after.

And the storyteller's children, who at this point are familiar with the concept that these stories are supposed to have some sort of a moral or lesson in them, interject to point out that their mother hasn't always done everything perfectly, she isn't always sweet, curses a lot, and as a matter of fact loses her shit at her kids all the time. She isn't like the mother of the story at all.

And their mother agrees: Her children are correct. She is not a perfect mother who has never done anything wrong. Angels will not have pity on her, and they will not bring her little shits back to life if they go to the river and die. So they better fucking not go get themselves killed in the first place.