I Think Its Funny To Think That Whenever Jason Shows Up To ANYTHING With A Duffle Bag The Batfamily And

I think it’s funny to think that whenever Jason shows up to ANYTHING with a duffle bag the batfamily and co think there could be decapitated heads inside:

Dick: whatcha got there Jason?

Jason: my luggage for the mission??

Dick:

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THERE AREN’T HEADS IN HERE

Dick: THERES ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY

Jason: I HAVEN’T KILLED ANYONE IN MONTHS

Dick: THAT WE KNOW OF

I imagine that then the Justice League becomes weary of Jason with duffle bags due to the bats. So the outlaws could be helping with a mission and:

Superman: Hood if it’s alright we’d like to search your bag?

Red Hood: there’s just my gear inside

Superman: we just want to double check it is your gear…

Red Hood:

Red Hood: not you guys too

Red Hood: THERE AREN’T ANY DECAPITATED HEADS INSIDE

Arsenal: at this point you should just put heads in there.

Red Hood: I’m not trying to get back on the Justice Leagues Wanted list Roy

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

Someone make Dan Mora draw Jason more please I'm begging

Dan Mora on Instagram

Can we talk about how if jason and jazz got married and had a family (most of their kids would prolly be adopted), jazz would be the super successful breadwinner of the family and jason would perfectly fill the role of domestic housewife. He would mother hen SO HARD and he would love every minute of it. Three of his kids would climb him like a jungle gym while he did house chores like vacuuming and dishes and he would unironically drive a minivan everywhere. Jason = ideal housewife plz and ty

Jason? Housewife? I mean I can tell where you’re coming from fanon version of the guy but if you wanna do comic version of Jason, the dude would rather help Bruce on a mission than stay at home all day. Let me see what I can do because I mostly know Jason from when he was straight up a villain in comics.

Ok so he never really had a good father figure that shows what a dads meant to do. All of the stuff he knows is from asking friends on what to do, parenting books, Alfred, and books he’s read as a kid. Jason would be positively floundering with raising a bunch of kids at first. He’s good with kids so he does that just fine but dealing with kids for a long period of time? That takes some work. He doesn’t know what a normal kid is meant to do and what he can tell them. He grew up on Crime Alley and then became a billionaires ward. That’s quite the wild childhood living situation. What age do kids normally learn how to cook? How to lie? How to defend themselves? What are normal hobbies people have? All of these questions just swirl in Jason’s brain as he does his best to give his kids a normal life.

Jazz is the breadwinner while Jason is getting a solid 40% cut from mobs in his territory? I’d love a job that pays that much. I don’t think she’d be the breadwinner but Jazz definitely does a normal 9-5 job while Jason does stuff more at night. Jason staying with their kids during the day while Jazz is out of the house makes sense in that case. He spoils the hell out of his kids. He’s a massive pushover and does everything be can to prevent his kids from turning out like him.

He absolutely wouldn’t fit into your stereotypical role of housewife stuff. Still, imagining a 6ft tall 225lbs man of pure muscle and scars taking his kids to a local park and sitting on a park bench watching his kids run around and play while absentmindedly flipping a butterfly knife open and closed at incredible speed. Or threatening a kid who’s bullying his child with a whole ass Glock and then instantly switching to caring for his kid who got punched and checking them for injuries is some lovely mental imagery.

Additionally: Jason going to parent teacher conferences and forcing the school to implement disability accommodations classes for the teachers because one of his kids slightly mentioned that his teacher didn’t let him have extra time to work on his test like they should have. Casually cleaning his teeth with one of the scariest fucking knives you’ve ever seen while meeting with one of his kids friends parents. Bullying the principal to invite a mystery guest speaker to his kids schools for an Anti Drug PSA and low and behold, Red Hood walks into the school gymnasium and does a fucking incredible one man play and an almost poetic speech on the effects of drugs and how it can impact your families.

When his kids realize that they can simply climb on him and he doesn’t mind their weight they start doing it constantly. They scramble up his legs onto his shoulders and just sit there while Jason cooks dinner. The only sign that Jason acknowledges the kids presence is to warn them to not put their feet near the stove and to ruffle their hair when they get settled on his shoulders.

Jason not only has a mini van, it’s one of the most decked out mini vans to ever exist. This thing is built like a covert batmobile. You could take on an army of tanks with this car but he simply uses it to weave around traffic like a madman driving his kid to ice skating school.

Jason absolutely isn’t the ideal housewife but he’s a housewife that you Do Not wish to fuck with. You touch his kids and that’s the last thing you’ll ever do.

foldingfacets DPxDC fic masterlist

Multi-Chaptered Fics

Bus to Nowhere I Just Wanna Talk Life Alert (PeePaw, please, I'm begging) Death Throes (Danny/Grundy - Dandy) Break-Ins At Three, Breakthroughs At Four (Jazz/Jason - Anger Management) Several Degrees of History (Lancer/Clark/Slade - Banned Books) Hopeful Life of Death (mind the tags) Partially Temporal, Partially Temperamental Caught Before The Fall (mind the tags - Dick/Clockwork - Golden Age) Brides, Birds, and Batshit Family Matters (Wives Fic)

One Shots

Our Love Will Last Us (mind the tags - Dani/Mar'i - Space Princess) Gotham Circusa - Wait, That's Not It (Dick/Danny - Green Elephant) Catching Snowflakes With Your Tongue (Bizarro/Klemper - Playdate) Peace, Quiet, and Another God Damn Superhero (Lancer/Clark - Literacy) Can't Hack My Heart (Roy/Tucker/Skulker - Technical Experts) Scavenged My Love Among The Ruins (mind the tags - Bart/Dan - Doomed Timelines) Lightning Through My Neck, And I've Found You (Danny/Grundy - Dandy)

Series

foldingfacets DPxDC Ship Week 2023 Break-Ins At Three, Breakthroughs At Four (mind the tags)

Short DPXDC Prompts #684

Wes Weston cannot believe it. He just saw Nightwing remove his mask in an alley. Does he inform Dick Grayson that he knows or does he keep it to himself?