{if I Did. Hypothetically. Rp Eren. I'd Probably Just Add Him To This Blog Cause I Can't Be Asked To

{if i did. hypothetically. rp eren. i'd probably just add him to this blog cause i can't be asked to create a new one or a sideblog lmao}

he's known the blond long enough to know something is bothering him. they haven't gone through so much shit for nothing after all. it's been years since this whole journey has started and levi would consider all of his former cadets family. still, he's never been the best at comfort or talking about his feelings. the dark haired male only hopes that his presence can be somewhat of a reassurance, however much that is worth these days. he's their captain and he knows that most of them still look up to him. even if it makes him uncomfortable, he'll continue to try his best.

levi can only imagine that what they've just done must be weighing heavily on armin's mind. he can't say that he's any different. the screams of the civilians seems to echo in his mind, but their resolve as scouts must never waver. evne if levi can't deny he's got his doubts... this plan seems too risky, and in the same breath, if they don't do anything then they risk all that they have. one of those stakes is higher than the other. levi represses a shiver as he thinks of what erwin must be thinking from the other side of wherever death is.

"the only thing that we can do," levi says after a moment. he allowed the question to permeate the air between them before deciding on an answer. "prepare as best as we can. we've destroyed most of their armada and they'll be recovering from the massive damage caused. i don't doubt a response is imminent, but i also don't believe it'll be anytime during this week. they'll need time to gather reinforcements..." he purses his lips lightly and whispers under his breath, "i hope."

one hand comes up to push through black locks, tugging them up and out of his forehead as he groans quietly. "nothing can ever be simple these days..." he misses the old days when it was humans versus titans. everything turned out ten times more complicated since they discovered what lay hidden under eren's cellar door. levi purses his lips and a mirthless smirk plays on his lips, "you ever think that becoming a scout was going to be like this, arlert?"

the scent of ash and salt lingers even after his attempts to wash himself clean of the night before. he'd scrubbed his skin raw beneath the scalding water until his eyes burned and his hands turned red and he could swear the blood was still there, staining him still. even now, the whites of his eyes are bloodshot as they flicker across the captain's office, the light somehow cold and permeating every inch of the room as if he's a specimen on display, laid out on an autopsy table to be dissected. it's how he feels when levi looks at him, too — the captain is like ice-cold water over his head, a sobering reminder he isn't supposed to wallow like this, sink into his grief as if it's a sea.

his stomach churns suddenly — sick maybe from the reverberations of the marleyans' cries still rattling in his skull, maybe from the fact they've gotten eren back ( at what cost ? ) and now he sits in a cell with seemingly no remorse or consequence, a knife able to stomach its slices, maybe even have an appetite for it, in a way armin never could — he bends and breaks with use, teeters on the edge of shattering, a blade made with metal too soft, forged against its nature into a scythe.

if the commander were here [ … ] it's what he and the captain don't speak about. armin can't help but wonder if the choice would have been the same if he knew what everyone is thinking: that armin is much too small, even with the colossal, to fill the ever-gaping hole erwin left behind.

@centuricnis says: we got lucky, but the next time they attack, they'll be ready for us.

he blinks away the blurry film creeping across his vision and nods quickly, shifting as if he means to try to inhabit that space, cutting along the dotted line of sentiment and strategy and trying desperately to separate them in the way he's never quite been entirely successful at. " right. they'll know our equipment now — and we're still outnumbered by titan metrics. " he's not even certain how to count eren now — even so, considering the limitations ( the destruction ) of his own titan, his scope is limited — something he's selfishly relieved by. " they know our strengths now, and they'll certainly have enough time to consider our weaknesses before their next move. the question is [ ... ] what we do before then. "

it's not an easy question, not with all the resentment and division festering between the scouts now. but it's one armin knows he's almost expected to answer — for all of their sakes.

" there's nothing bad inside you . nothing . " || (from Kuchel!!)

THE SOUNDS OF NIGHTMARES SENTENCE STARTERS .

THE SOUNDS OF NIGHTMARES SENTENCE STARTERS .

mom. her voice was as sweet as he remembered it. to see her again-- he almost had to believe that he was dreaming or delusional or certified insane, but there she was. his heart clenched at the very sight of her and he stumbled two steps towards her direction. he could care less at how he ended up here, wherever 'here' was with it's sand and never ending horizon line. all that seemed to matter in the moment was that he could see his mother and hear her voice.

"fuck," he whispers, reaching out but not quite touching. he doesn't know what would happen to his psyche if he tried to touch but couldn't. what if his hand passed right through her? what if she disappeared in front of his eyes. again. he doesn't know if he could handle that. it felt like years burdens of a hard life seemed to fall from his shoulders as he stood in her presence, "mom, you-- you don't know what you're talking about," he almost laughs.

his emotions had never been more easier to read as they flit over his features. brows furrowing in confusion to happiness and then a grief he's never quite gotten over. "you don't know what i've done. who i've become just to survive. the blood on my hands..." his voice trails off. why is he trying to explain these things to what might just be a figmant of his imagination? still, an urgency to explain wells up in him and levi swallows it down like a bitter pill.

he hadn't understood choices his mother had made when he was little, things that only he knew were questionable as he grew older and insight. but eventually he'd come to terms that whatever she had done, she did to survive. to put food on the table and to take care of him in the best way she could. they had never been dealt the greatest of hands, but they always made do with what they had.

“Deep breath. Let's get your heart calmed down.” ( panic Angst perhaps ? Hehe)

Compilation of Heartbeat Starters

he was still in recovery. they told him he'd never walk again without a cane or something for support and with all titans ceasing to exist, well there was no use in thinking about trying that route for healing. not that levi would ever want to be one of the shifters. way too much responsibility and the limited life years left after becoming one was a definite downside. now that levi had the rest of his life to live as an option, that sounded more like freedom than anything he'd experienced in paradis.

still... it didn't stop the nightmares. which is where he found himself now, sitting up right in a bed with the familiar touch of vito's hands steadying him. he normally didn't react much when waking from a bad dream, but this one had been especially whisked up in hell. the explosion, his fallen comrades caught in the crossfire, their dead faces and empty eyes begging him for an answer to it all. not to mention zeke's ugly ass face somewhere in the background. that was just the cherry on top, honestly. even after death, that son of a bitch was still haunting him.

levi took in one shuddering breath, before he glanced at vito. the taller was right about his heart nearly beating out of his chest. it had only been a few weeks since the big final battle and yet, the horrors still replayed whenever he closed his eyes. the price to pay for sins committed. he pursed his lips and reached out to pat vito on his shoulder, "i-i'm fine," he grit out, teeth clenching as he squeezes his eyes to rid himself of the after images. "just-- we have any tea or something nearby? shit..."

tell my muse what your muse thinks of mine on anon! Anything goes!

bonus points if you leave little hints

!credit!: @samtaro74 on twt