I Always Say Winter Or Fall Is My Favorite But Then I Remember Those Early Spring Days When The Air Is

i always say winter or fall is my favorite but then i remember those early spring days when the air is cold but there's not a cloud in the sky. so maybe spring is my favorite. but then i remember swimming in the river with my best friends and having picnics in the park and i think maybe summer is my favorite. but then i remember the smell of new rain on decaying leaves and fall seems like my favorite too! and then i think about how quiet the world is when it snows and how every breath feels like waking up and all of a sudden winter is my favorite. isn't it a wonderful world we live in?

I Can't Be As Sad As Richard Siken by Kenyatta Rogers (click for better quality)

[Text ID: Let me not begin this by writing about dreams, let me not do that. I'll stop here. I'm not a very long winded person, in fact I hardly say much at all. I hardly speak. I rarely open my mouth.

In a box, on a shelf, in a closet, behind a door, down a hallway, somewhere. Somewhere there is a gun. I'm not very good at describing things. I'm not very good at telling much either. I am not really as angry as it seems. It is not that I don't believe.

I'll start over. I don't own a gun. Probably shouldn't. It'd be in my best interest if I didn't. I just said something. It means a lot to me. It means everything. I go to work and I hate it. This also means everything to me, because it means nothing.

I don't know if I ever do my job. My work and my job are two different things. I should quit, but I haven't. I'll be the first to admit when people are better than me. And most are. Almost all are actually. I'll snitch to my own murder. I did it. It was me all along.

I can't be as sad as Richard Siken. He's better than me. I want to be held at gunpoint in a grocery store. I wish boots were falling in the apartment above me. It's only cats though. Two of them. I sit at a bar and never talk to anyone. I'm not really alone. I have a beer then leave.

I feel as though I'm being too self-absorbed. My humidifier doesn't help me breathe better. The USA made for television version of Buried Alive was one of my favorite movies as a kid. In all honesty. I don't really remember what channel it came on. It had commercials.

Let me kind of start over. That TV show Hoarders, that's a good metaphor for what my brain looks like. Ever seen Mentos dropped into a bottle of Diet Coke? There is no metaphor for that. Nothing exists out of its own time. Eventually everything has to be lost. /End ID]

oh my GOD. @madphantom did an absolutely phenomenal job filming goncharov pls go watch asap

Need to dance barefoot / be full drunk under a half moon / sit by the ocean at sunrise / hold small babies / climb trees / spread myself so thin that I can inhabit the entire world at once / etc

not so much gender related but how to deal with queer heartbreak? sorta gender-y ig because this specific situation IS t4t but yeah

i'm sorry to hear you're going through heartbreak, it's never easy- it's especially hard when you're queer because often times you feel like you'll never find another person like them. i just wanted to let you know that that's not the case, each person is unique, but there are other people like you and them out there, and while it's hard to not be with someone that you thought could have been a good fit, there is someone else out there who could be an even better fit.

opportunities are good, but they are simply just that. and there are many of them out there, it's okay to love and lose. it's okay for things to not quite work out, no matter how attached you are. it'll hurt for a while, and no matter how long it hurts for, it's alright that you need to nurse that wound. take care of yourself, take as much time as you need. don't force yourself to move on too quickly, avoid rebounds, and remember that there are plenty of other folks like us out there, even when it seems like you're alone. you are appreciated

oh to be two poets as lovers, revising and editing each other's sorrows by candlelight

i want to read his poetry, if he wants to share it with me