Poetry - Tumblr Posts
I have never liked baths--
Sitting in your own dirt.
No, I have always loved showers.
But, in the 20 infinite minutes
Of artificial rain
I long to drown in the steam.
“ the middle-aged working mother at my minimum wage fast food job has felt more like a mother to me in the four months i’ve worked there then you have in the past 18 years. ”
- o. d. july 22, 2023
i spent our entire relationship wondering if i was good enough only to realize you never actually wanted me. you wanted the idea of me, the body that came with me and my looks but never you never actually wanted me.
you never even knew me.
Rain,
Oh the sweet dusted rain,
How I long to see your face,
As my head fills with empty space,
So alone in this rain,
As the road fills with black and gray,
Reminded of the wonderful times we had,
Those happy thoughts now make me sad,
Rain, oh, rain, will I see you again?
I hope this time I can make amends,
I look down at the river below,
As the world around me fails to glow,
My body quivers at the horrid thought,
As I remember what I once sought,
My mind feels empty within the storm,
Yet somehow it rages like a swarm,
I take my foot and step over the ledge,
I have no control and that I pledge,
Now the water that used to rush below,
Has my body within the riverflow.
A hematite ring,
Something used for protection, security, clarity,
That breaks you from your own negativity,
Eventually snaps itself when it can't take it anymore,
It absorbs so much that it's only common sense for it to break down,
Just like you,
You, who bottles everything until there is not enough storage left,
Who takes from others without getting any release,
Who will eventually break down at the simplest of thoughts,
The simplest words,
You are a walking hematite ring,
Only made to absorb and eventually be destroyed,
There is no end.
keeping everything inside
thoughts and feelings
my mind's running wild
moving so fast I can't tell what I'm thinking
problems of mine, others and the worlds
it's too much for a little girl
books to make my head blank
music to drown out the noise
to keep the monsters away
but they don't
when I'm alone and going to sleep
they don't stay away
no,they come to play
make my stomach sick
my mind race
but there's no finish line
two pills to go away
to go numb and dream the night away
only for everything to come back the next day.
empath
I am like an empath
empaths feel what others are feeling
sometimes they can hear thoughts
they sometimes need solitude and isolation
for some peace and quiet
I am like an empath
because I understand how others are feeling
while I can't hear thoughts
when people talk, it's so loud it feels like I can
I need solitude and isolation
to be with myself
I am like an empath
but I felt too much
now I hardly feel at all
I feel nothing
I feel everything
I am a broken empath.
Broken glass shatters around my feet as the orange hues of dust blocks the way, sand stings the burning aches as I glance to the setting star.
My body is a dissection that you’ve pulled apart my lungs craving sweet air that you’ve denied - not even a little bit.
Embers flood me
Sometimes my nerdy self looks at him and thinks of a thousand poems to write
The cold shivers across your cheek like an empty promise left to sleep.
An aching pain fills your lungs, corroding your lips as you spit venom at your mum.
I wish I never had you
I wish I could leave
None of it has meaning, yet you cry yourself to sleep, thinking how the bringer of life becomes the opposite
I promise to be better only becomes a bitter speech, and the once graceful winter turns to a melancholic season.
Your and her promise will never succeed.
This is my latest work I call Optimism.
This painting was inspired by a poem i wrote title "Optimism." I used water color, sharpies, and pencil to make this. Below I'll type the poem in chase it can not be read off the photograph.
Optimism
Defeated, scarred, externally or internally damaged by another. Causes me to crash to the ground. But the wind brings me to my feet. Pushing me towards the cliff where inky demise lies. To either let the wind pull me down or... leap.
Improbable strength surges through sore calves. Determined to get to the other side against the wind's flow. A split second the fear flashes before my spectrum. Quickly the thought is tossed aside as my feet meet the ground.
Blades of grass caress my feet as I gaze at the lingering dawn. Dashing forward towards the warmth of sunlight where a brighter future awaits. Simply because I choose to follow the light instead of letting shadows consume my thoughts.
Dogfish, by Mary Oliver
humans are animals. on a biological level, human beings are highly evolved mammals with complex social structures and well-developed brains. we eat, we sleep, we fuck. we raise our young and form tribes and fight for scarce goods. but i think that we are interesting because we are unparalleled in our ability to cause immense ripples in the universe, to leave a mark in our worlds and the worlds’ of others. we have the ability to cause outstanding pain, to tear each other apart with our words and rip out each other’s hearts. we are animals at our cores. but i think this fact makes our small kindnesses that much more meaningful, our moments of relief and pointless morals and ardent generosity all the more special. i have seen incredible hurt in this world, and i have also seen such genuine curiosity, gentleness, and connection. maybe it’s naive of me, but i think that most people do not want to cause harm. if given the chance, most people will choose kindness — to say thank you to the waiter, to pull their legs in when you walk through an aisle, to follow traffic lights and form lines even when it would be easier to cut. i think at our core, we want to do good, to try. i think that all of the pain and anger and hurt and violence only makes our amazing capacity for kindness that much more meaningful, that much more wonderful. in a senseless, brutal world, the fact that someone is helping a stranger pick up their spilled groceries or making silly faces for a baby is something to be cherished. something real. maybe, just maybe, it isn’t all bad.
·˚ ༘ ﹌﹌﹌
By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black throne reigns upright,
I have reached these lands but newly
From an ultimate dim Thule --
From a wild weird clime that lieth, sublime,
Out of SPACE -- out of TIME.
- Edgar Allen Poe; Dreamland
•°. *࿐
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, I'm Karam Al Nabih from Gaza. My home, dreams, and university have been destroyed by the war. I'm a software engineer in my final semester, and I'm urgently seeking your support to rebuild my life and help my sick mother.
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