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Your Touch//KSJ (2/4)

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Soulmate + Idol AU

[Everybody has a black mark on their body where their soulmate will touch them for the first time. When your soulmate touches you both your marks burst into different colors. Only one problem, your soulmate hates you]

Tw// attempted suicide, blood

3.1k Words

Keun shook you awake, her short brown hair brushing over her face.

"Wake up, you idiot! Bamie, help me!!"

Normally you were a very light sleeper and got up as soon as someone called your name, but today you just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.

"GET UP!!" Bamie shouted, hitting you with a book. "YOU'RE AN MC YOU IDIOT!! YOU HAVE TO ARRIVE THERE EARLY!!"

MC? Oh no...

You jumped out of bed, stumbling over your feet. You couldn't be late for this. You ran towards your closet and picked out some hoodie and jeans. You threw them on and hopped around trying to shove your shoes on. You could change into your other clothes in the changing room over there.

"Finally!!" Keun shouted at you.

You had no time to respond and instead ran out of your dorms to a black car waiting for you with Moon inside.

"I'm sorry!!" You wheezed as you sat inside. You pulled a cap low over your face and put on a black mask. Moon shook her head and sighed.

The car started moving and you slumped back in the seat. Hopefully you'd get there on time.

You had arrived just in the nick of time.

Your stylist had given you some clothes, not a dress but some black jeans with some shirt fit for an idol. You also had a long leather jacket, extra wide at the bottom where it reached your ankles. You didn't pay attention to the finer details like you usually did, all you could think about was getting your lines right.

The stylist had somehow managed to tame your messy hair. It was less purple than before, but the mix of black and purple didn't necessarily look bad.

Everything had gone smoothly, and nobody could tell you had just woken up a few minutes before coming here.

As the camera stopped recording you stretched your arms out and yawned. You really should've gone to sleep earlier.

It was only now that you weren't half asleep anymore you realized who you were MC'ing with. Jihoon and... Seokjin.

You all walked backstage. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a couple of times, your eyes watering.

Jihoon followed his manager into another room, and you were left in the room with Seokjin. You couldn't help but wonder if Seokjin knew that you two might be soulmates.

'Of course he doesn't you idiot! What does the internet know anyway? You're being stupid.'

Looking up, you noticed him looking down at you with a certain snarl on his face. You looked away and shook your head, trying to act as if you hadn't seen anything.

You walked towards your changing room. Thumping down in a chair, you took out your phone. One of your members would be picking you up, but they might take a while. You opened your Twitter and started scrolling.

Usually your feed was full of posts about your group, and it wasn't uncommon for there to be posts about other idols. You, being a huge fangirl, liked as many of them as possible.

This day was no different, but with one exception. It seemed your hate accounts were a lot more active recently. As you scrolled your brows became more and more furrowed. There were all these posts pointing out all your flaws and asking you to leave the group.

One post had a link on it. Being the usual curious person you are, you clicked on it. Your screen was immediately filled with pictures of red slashes drawn across your face, death threats and petitions for you to leave the group littered here and there. All around your pictures there were extremely realistic drawings and pictures of you choking or being killed. Someone had taken the time to draw these... they had hated you so much they spent their time and effort to make these. If someone would spend that much time doing something against you then you must really be doing something wrong. For people to hate you this badly...

You swallowed the bile rising in your mouth and turned away, stuffing your phone back into your pocket. You shook your head, almost violently, trying to get those pictures out of your head. You couldn't let them get to you. You used to avidly respond to the haters, commenting on their posts, but today you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You heard the door open and looked up. Moon stood in the doorway with Yen.

"Ready?" Moon asked. You nodded and stood up, brushing yourself slightly, though you had no dust on yourself.

You walked out with them and got into your car. Yen stuck to you like bubblegum, rambling about what a great MC you were. You could honestly see how much of a better Maknae she would be. It was kind of weird that you were a year younger than her.

But even she couldn't take your mind over that post for long. Your mind kept drifting to those few lines you had seen: 'Don't you wish she would just jump off a bridge or something. If she just killed herself nobody would have to deal with her again, imagine how relieved her soulmate would be.'

You didn't want to agree with them. You didn't, you didn't, you didn't.

But you did.

Weeks passed

Months passed

Things had gotten worse. Much worse.

Echo was going to hold a concert, but you had overworked yourself. You practiced more than all your members combined. You were more strict on yourself, more harsh.

The result? A broken ankle.

You could mostly walk fine, but you weren't allowed to dance for a while. You had to go through the concerts sitting down on a chair and singing while your members danced around you. After every concert you would cry alone in the changing room.

Sometimes when you would walk or try to stand up, your ankle would collapse under you. Every single time you got more and more frustrated with yourself.

If anyone asked, you would say you were fine. You were okay. You'd get through it like you always did. Being a burden. Stopping everything from going smoothly. Just ruining everything.

You weren't really the same, but your fans didn't seem to notice. Or at least that was what you thought.

Your thoughts grew darker. Whenever you opened any app your eyes skimmed past the positive posts straight to the negative ones. They were all you saw.

From your point of view you were improving yourself by listening to what they had to say, fixing your flaws.

From a realistic point of view you were destroying yourself. You were breaking yourself more than the haters could ever have done.

The soulmate thing hit you even harder. You had always thought that as long as you got through it one day you'd have someone who truly loved you and support you, contrary to what those haters said, but your dreams had been shattered.

You loved your members, you truly did. But that was the problem. You thought if you erased yourself it would be better for the group, that they would have a happier life without you to drag them down by ruining their performances, their songs, just being a burden.

Of course, you never told any of them this. You didn't want to annoy them any further, but in the end that may have been the reason for your downfall.

You were one of the hosts on a variety show where lots of idols would come and you would hold conversations with them.

One day when the cameras stopped rolling and everyone dispersed, you opened your phone. You went on your messages and all you could see as you scrolled down were messages sent by haters. They weren't the normal messages asking you to leave the group, no, these were asking you to kill yourself.

You poked your cheek with your tongue, deep in thought. You went to your feed and saw the same thing.

It wasn't a secret that you were one of the most hated idols, but nobody actually knew how much hate you got.

You looked around. All the staff had gone home, all the idols had gone too. You had told your members you would be going home yourself today, but you were starting to change your mind.

You didn't have to go home today. You didn't have to deal with any of this anymore. You would just do one thing, and all of this would end.

You stood up and stashed your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. Spying some stairs around a corner, you realized the studio was on the top floor, right below the roof.

You ran up the stairs, impatient to get this over with. You drew back the bolt on the door and shoved it open with your shoulder. As you stepped outside you were hit with a rush of cold air. Even so, you took your hoodie off with your phone inside. If anyone found it, they would find the messages you had been looking at and understand.

You stood there at the edge of the roof in you T-shirt, shivering. Did you really want to do this?

"YES!!" your mind screamed. You had to do it before you changed your mind. It was now or never. You were doing this for your group and your fans. It was fine, you told yourself. Everything was fine.

Your breath shook and tears started rolling down. With one last look at the sky, you jumped.

Seokjin walked out of the bathroom. He knew he should head back to the dorms quickly because it was getting late.

He shivered as a soft breeze drifted past him. But he was still inside the studio where they had shot the show, so where was the breeze coming from?

He looked at the stairs and frowned. Someone must have left the door open. Since he was the only one left he would have to close it now. He groaned and ran up the stairs two at a time, thinking he should get this over with quickly.

As he got to the door he gripped the handle and started closing it, but on the roof there lay a hoodie, thrown away carelessly. He frowned, he recognized it from somewhere.

He walked out and saw a girl standing on the edge of the roof. He watched in horror as she took her feet off the ground and jumped.

"NO!!" He heard himself scream.

He ran forward. She twisted around when she heard his footsteps. Her eyes widened as he reached out to grab her arm. He let out a small shout when he saw who she was. Y/n.

And he was going to touch her soulmate mark.

Time really seemed to slow down as he reached out for her, the black part of his hand coming so close to touching that black mark on her forearm. A sudden realization hit him. It hit hard. They were soulmates

You didn't know what you were doing. In a sudden reflex you twisted your arm away from him and he grabbed your wrist instead. He pulled you back, but you screamed and he let go. You landed sprawled on the roof next to his feet, clutching your wrist. Tears came out hot and fast as you closed your eyes.

Seokjin didn't understand. He was sure you two were soulmates. He had felt it. He had felt it. Right before he touched you it felt as if his heart had burst, there was no way you two weren't soulmates.

But then why had he touched your wrist instead? Were you not-

You let out a muffled sob and only now did he look down. Blood was running down your arm, thick and fast. You were clutching your wrist where he had touched you.

Seokjin tried to control the panic rising inside of him. He crouched down next to you, but he didn't know what to do. He had no idea where the blood had come from, but the least he could do was help.

He tried to touch your arm, but no sooner had his fingertips brushed your skin, cuts started forming where his skin had touched just seconds ago. You recoiled away from him, desperately trying to stop the flow of blood.

Seokjin was confused. He knew that when soulmates first touched each other, their marks sprouted into different colors, but this? Cuts appearing whenever he touched you? This wasn't normal.

He knew there was a med kit in the closet downstairs. He could help stop the bleeding and patch you up, he just needed to get you down there first.

He shook his sleeves and stretched them over his hands. He tapped you on the shoulder and looked you in the eyes.

"You need to go downstairs," he said softly, "There's a med kit and I can help stop the bleeding. You need to calm down, okay? It'll be alright."

You wiped away your tears furiously with your other arm. You nodded and he pulled his sleeves further over his hands so he wouldn't touch your skin. Then he lightly grabbed your arm to help you up.

As soon as you stood up your ankle collapsed under you and you fell. Seokjin caught you in his arms, his sleeves stopping your skin from touching.

"Your ankle..." he whispered. "I'll help you-"

"I'm fine." You muttered through gritted teeth. You wrenched yourself out of his grip and grabbed your hoodie with your phone inside. You steadied yourself and walked down the stairs. Unknown to you Seokjin was behind you with an arm extended, ready to catch you in case you fell.

You heard him lock the door and continued walking, wiping away your tears even more viciously than before. You muffled the sobs that threatened to come out and tried to pretend your wrist didn't hurt as much as it really did.

Seokjin opened the closet and took out the med kit while you washed all the blood off of your arm. You looked in the mirror and realized in your haste you had wiped your tears with your bloody arm. There was blood smeared across your nose, and your eyes were puffed up. Wisps of hair fell across your face, covering your eyes. You looked pathetic.

The cuts on your arm where Seokjin had touched you stung. Only you knew why this was happening. You had heard about it before but didn't know if it was true. It made you cry even harder. You two really were soulmates, but you had fucked up. You had fucked up bad.

You walked out of the bathroom with a less bloody face and (hopefully) less puffed up eyes. Seokjin lightly gripped your arm, making you flinch away.

"It's okay," He said, "I have gloves on. You won't get hurt."

He showed you the blue gloves covering his hands and you gingerly put your arm forward, letting him touch it with the gloves on.

You two sat down and he started cleaning up the cuts. He sucked in a sharp breath when he saw the ones on your wrist.

"They're deep," he told you as you sat there awkwardly. "I'll do as much as I can now but it's better if you get them checked by an actual doctor later, or at least your manager."

You nodded and looked away. A few days ago he had been looking at you with disgust, and here he was helping you. It confused you and made you more nervous than it should've done.

When he finished you got up straight away and started walking, but he stopped you, blocking your way.

"Wait, you're just gonna leave?" He asked.

"Well, that was my plan, yes," you mumbled.

"But..."

He was going to ask you about what happened on the rooftop, wasn't he? About why you had tried to-

You didn't want to talk about that. You looked down and held your arm, hoping he would just let you go.

He shook his head, it seemed he changed his mind last minute.

"What about this?" He asked, showing his soulmate mark on his hand. "Are we soulmates or not?"

"We are."

"Then how come whenever I touch you you get cut!? And our marks- look at them! They haven't changed, and how can we be soulmates if I touched your wrist, not your mark-?"

"I can't explain everything tonight." You kept your gaze on the floor, trying to stop yourself from sobbing. "I'll explain tomorrow, just... let me go home."

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but stopped himself. He moved out of your way and let you walk past.

"Wait!" He called after you, turning around. "How are you going to get home?"

You froze. You hadn't thought about that. At first you were going to get a taxi, but it was so late you weren't sure if it was safe to get one anymore.

"I can drop you," you heard him mutter.

You honestly had no other choice. You nodded and he guided you towards his car.

Once you reached your dorms you nodded a small thanks and walked away quickly, pulling your hoodie low over your face.

As you had expected, your members crowded around you, asking what had taken so long. You made excuses, like you always did. Saying you had got caught up talking to a friend, they had dropped you off.

They somewhat believed you, and you were finally allowed to go back to your room (you guys had since removed the bunk beds and you all had your own rooms).

You couldn't sleep that night. You kept picking at the bandages on your wrist.

As you lay there looking up at the ceiling, you realized you were glad he had stopped you. You thought about your members faces when you returned home so late. They cared. Even if no one else did, they cared.

Your friends, your family, how would they react if they knew what you had tried to do tonight? If you couldn't stay for yourself... surely you could stay for them?

You stood up and walked out of your room, into one of your Moon's room. She didn't ask too many questions, and you didn't want to explain right now.

"Moon?" You whispered, cracking the door open.

"Hm?" She grunted sleepily.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Nightmare?"

"Something like that."

You saw her nod in the darkness, and jumped onto her bed. This wasn't unusual for you, since you were the maknae. You had slept with the many times before when you had recurring nightmares, it was just that tonight was different.

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<Next part> Your Touch//KSJ (3/4)

Your Touch//KSJ (2/4)

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