What The F Bro This Is So Sad

What the f bro 😨 this is so sad

I fucking love Alex hirsch

would you be willing to write a gravity falls agere request?

Of course!

I don’t know why I bite

Age regressor Bill Cipher

Tag list: @rcailleachcola

A/N: Bill’s actually my favourite gravity falls character next to Fiddleford, reading the BOB definitely made me love him even more, but please be wary, there are spoilers for the show and some parts of the Book of Bill. Unfortunately no agere in this chapter, but I’ll try to include some In the next chapter. Love yall :)

For the first time in his godly life, Bill actually felt nervous, at least, that’s what the axolotl told him he might feel, but his flesh hands felt clammy and gross, his stomach? Was that what it was called? Felt like a pit as he stood awkwardly outside of the Mystery Shack, hesitant to lift his hand and knock.

“Go on.”

Bill blinked, his lazy eye twitching, his hand shook where he held it, ready to knock

“You must do this Bill, this is the only way you can learn empathy.”

The Axolotl stood behind him, serving as proof for Bill’s sudden reappearance on earth. Bill hummed, if he didn’t do this, well, Bill had no idea what his fate would be if he refused, but it couldn’t possibly be good.

So he knocked, his knuckles (eugh human bodies are so weird) rapping against the door to the Mystery Shack.

The door creaks open, and Bill is greeted by the gopher looking servant Stanley Pines and his brother employed when he was last here on earth

“Sorry dudes, we’re closed today, we’ll be open tomorrow thou-“

The man creature? Bill really could tell if he was human blinked up at the Axolotl, who smiled warmly back at him

“Good Evening Jesús, apologies for the interruption, but we must come in.”

The man doesn’t even blink, he just stares in stunted shock as the oversized salamander awkwardly shuffles through the door, gently ushering his patient in before himself.

“Again, I’m aware it must be shocking, I know my appearance can sometimes draw attention, but I’m here on serious matters.”

The man, Soos, after a quick introduction in the living room, stands, still slightly shocked, but nods along

“You do recall the inter dimensional demon you fought, last summer, correct?”

Soos nods

“Bill? Not a cool dude, I remember him though.”

The Axolotl smile

“Excellent, well, Bill, has been in therapy for some time, however he is developing far slower than we would have expected, not for a lack of trying though, he’s just.. stunted, in some ways, however, we need Bill to regain his ability to empathise, while also being able to atone for his actions, so, I elected to send him here for some time.”

“That’s cool dude, we’ve been needing an extra set of hands around here anyway.”

“Fantastic! However, there is one thing, Bill and I have been practicing a different form of therapy as of late, I ask that you not feel obligated to aid him in this, he can fare well on his own, but you should know. Bill revisits a childlike state at times.”

Soos smiles along “As long as it’s helping you dude.”

Bill blinks up at the man with his functional eye, slightly grateful to be acknowledged.

A bag materialises in the Axolotls hands? Paws? Ugh, Bill was too tired to think about the anatomical logistics of his therapist.

“This bag contains all of Bills equipment for his therapy and a few clothes to accommodate him.”

Soos reaches out for the bag, nodding

“Great, well, I best be going, other patients to tend to, Be good Billy, I’m watching.”

The salamander pets a hand on Bills newfound hair, gentle

Before phasing away, the Axolotl turns to Soos

“Thank you Jesús, we are in your debt.”

And poof! He was gone and Bill was left vulnerable and alone with the new Mr. Mystery, by the looks of it.

“I’ll get a room set up for you dude!”

Bill blinked at him, his lazy eye twitching again

“Just like that? You’re letting me stay here after all the things I did to you?”

Soos shrugs

“The shacks repaired, everyone’s doing much better since the whole apocalypse dealie, and you’re trying to make amends, so why not give you another chance.”

“Besides, a giant mythical lizard brought you here, I can’t deny something like that.”

Bill hummed awkwardly, struggling to keep up with Soos’s long strides.

“The whole thing about revisiting a childlike state, um, ignore that.”

“You sure man? My wife and I won’t have any problem with helping you if you want.”

“Wife?”

Soos smiled, looking back at Bill

“Yup, you’ll meet her soon, I think she’s just cooking dinner.”

Bill perked up at that, the food at the Theraprism was awful, most of the time bill refused to eat it, but right now his stomach grumbled with the prospect of actual food

“We’ll have enough for you, usually we have a lot of leftovers.”

Soos walked him through the winding house, before leading him to a cozy guest room

“Feel free to get comfortable man. Call if you need anything”

He smiled warmly at Bill, closing the door behind him and He’s left alone.

Watching the gf shorts and genuinely crying over “Mabel’s Scrapbook : Petting Zoo” when Mabel asks to free the mutated cow, and Stan completely caves when she pleads and the cow licks him :( he’s so girl dad

I might make it a handyman bill au fic, maybe where the axolotl advises him to continue the regression he practiced in the theraprism in gravity falls while he learns how to feel empathy and how to atone for his actions. That feels right to me, I’ll try to get started on it as soon as I can for yall ∩^ω^∩

Who wants me to write agere bill? I will