Coffeee-bean - Burn Fascists Not Forests - Tumblr Blog

Ok but Arya and Ciri would be bffs

(A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin)

(Sword of Destiny, The Witcher, Andrzej Sapkowski, pic source)

Season 1 ✦ Season 2

Ok, but imagine this:

Raph and Casey singing "When I drive" from Bonnie and Clyde musical. 🙌

I can't unsee this now.

Here's to Geralt of Rivia, a victim of Jaskier's glow up

Donnie, in line at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven espresso shots?

Raph, in line behind him: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

Friend: how many kids do you want?

Me: probably 9 so I can name them all after the Fellowship of the Ring and dress them up to make them reenact The Council of Elrond scene.

Friend: …

Me: oh kids! I thought you said cats!

Me: zero. I want zero children.

Somebody please help Geralt!

inspired by @dwalin-funsinsons-wife tiktok

also sort of a joke about my most popular post

Kili would love Lizzo. Argue with the wall.

Here are the Simp cards

TAKE YOUR PICK!

this movie was so fucking savage 

*faints*

The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all

Everyone: y/n no

You: y/n yes

The company: y/n no

You: y/n yes

Fili and Kili: Y/N YES

You: y/n- oh wait I- I like them

Incorrect Quotes #28

Legolas: Alright, Y/n. Like we practised *clears his throat*

*all eyes on you and Legolas*

Thranduil: Y/n, why does saturn have a ring around it?

Y/n, with an evil smirk: 'Cause God liked it so he put a ring on it

Thranduil: That's my adopted kiddo!

Tauriel: *bursts out laughing*

Elrond, in the distance shrieking: SATURN WAS NOT A SINGLE LADY!

The entirety of Act I (An Unexpected Journey) of my Kili X OC series ‘Starcrossed Losers’ is out now!!

It can be found in my Tolkien- and main masterlist! Let me know what you think of it!

HELLO HELLO HERE I AM AGAIN 😭

NO 😂

and again, tmnt texts & chats part two

i had more so obvi i was gonna post them (heres part one)

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

1.

Mikey: Am I in trouble?

Leo: Take a guess.

Mikey: No?

Leo: Take another guess.

2.

Leo: I think we're missing something.

Raph: Teamwork?

Donnie: Cohesion?

Mikey: A general sense of what we’re doing?

3.

Donnie: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.

Raph: We got spring water.

Donnie: NO.

Mikey: With EXTRA minerals.

Leo: It’s like licking a stalagmite.

Donnie: DON'T COME HOME.

Mikey: Mmmmm cave water.

4.

Leo: Someone is gonna die.

Mikey: From fun!

5.

[The group is in a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]

Leo: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake.

Raph: You're in a prison cell.

Donnie: You did great. Well, I got a 10-

Raph: You're in a prison cell with bars on it.

Mikey: I got a 1!

Raph: You're in... a cube-shaped place.

6.

Casey: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Leo: Nope, absolutely not.

Mikey: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Raph: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Donnie: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Raph: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Casey: I’m leaving.

7.

Mikey: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Donnie, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.

Mikey:

Mikey: fsh

8.

Mikey: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Raph: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

9.

Raph: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Mikey: Thank you.

Raph: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Mikey: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny-

10.

Donnie: I made coffee.

Leo: I don’t want coffee.

Donnie: I did not make coffee for you. This is my coffee.

Leo: Then why are you telling me?

Donnie: It’s a conversation starter.

Leo: That’s a stupid conversation starter.

Donnie: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

11.

Mikey: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Raph: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

12.

Raph: Am I going too far?

Donnie: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

13.

Casey: How do I deal with my enemies?

Raph: Kill them

Casey: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Mikey: Kill them only a little?

14.

Casey, holding a bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Mikey: -chugs entire bottle-

Mikey: It’s perfume.

15.

[Donnie helping Leo out after he got injured, while the others are watching]

Mikey: How does he look?

Raph: A little better than you, actually.

16.

Mikey: -trying to sing-

Donnie: I’m sorry Mikey but that wasn’t good at all

Mikey: Ok yeah? And what is your talent?

Donnie: Intelligence.

bonus, my oc added in (you can skip this)

1.

Mikey: Hey, Donnie? Can I get some dating advice?

Donnie: Just because I’m with Lucy doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

2.

Lucy: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Leo: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Lucy: Yes!

Raph: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

3.

Mikey: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it

Leo: Mikey no.

Lucy: Mistlefoe.

Leo: Please stop encouraging him.

4.

Lucy: It’s dark in here.

Mikey: Don’t worry dude, I got this.

Mikey: -Stomps his feet-

Mikey: -Skechers light up-

5.

Raph: Why’re you wearing that.

Lucy, wearing a giant hoodie: I don’t know, why’re you fucking ugly?

Raph: You’re a bitch.

6.

Lucy, walking up to Raph:

Raph: What.

Lucy: You’re emo.

Raph: Can you like, fuck off-

7.

Lucy: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Donnie: See, I could’ve told you that but you don’t listen.

8.

Lucy: -standing at the entrance of the lab with a spatula-

Donnie: What?

Lucy, staring blankly: Do you like pancakes.

Donnie: No, I like waffles-

Lucy: How many pancakes do I need to make to feed five of us.

Donnie, also staring blankly:

…

Donnie: 25