Some Tips From Your Local Depressed College Student

some tips from your local depressed college student

cheap paper towels + hydrogen peroxide = acne treatment (just be careful not to bleach your eyebrows unless you’re into that idk)

use the acne face soap on your chest, upper back, and shoulders instead, since it doesn’t do shit for your face (or at least not mine)

no one is stopping you from bushing your teeth in the shower except yourself (just eliminating that extra step of going to the sink makes it so much easier for me)

did you know you’re actually supposed to put on stick deodorant at night??? It has time to absorb while u sleep or stare at the ceiling in dispair whichever works best for u

carrots and/or apples dipped in peanut butter = dinner (or just plain peanut butter but it helps to get a lil something extra if you can manage it)

if you give yourself an allowance of skip days (i’m talking like 3 or 4 max) then it can be easier to go to class if you remind yourself “i only have 2 skip days left, I’m gonna save them until I REALLY need them” (think of skip days like non-essential items in a video game - you could use them now, but what if you really need them during the final boss battle later on??)

the velveeta microwave dinners aren’t great but they’re cheap and better than some other options out there. the mac n cheese w/ meat ones can smell a bit like dog food but they still taste pretty good

if you like peppermint hot chocolate - save the after dinner mints you get at places like Chik Fil A and italian restaurants and such and then drop a couple in your mug before you put it in the microwave. boom. 

if you’ve got a sore throat, just take a spoonful of honey (or squirt it directly from the bottle to your mouth if you’re a heathen like me) and go find a hot drink

for essays - highlight/number/circle/whatever you want to do to make ‘em stand out the quotes you want to use in your paper, then go take a shower or get something to eat or just watch like a 15-20 minute video on YouTube and then come back to your paper, pop those fuckin’ quotes in the right order, and write in the smart bullshit around them

okay actually the one thing that I will spend a little extra money on is cough drops bc i get a sore throat all the damn time and the only kind i will buy anymore is Halls Breezers they taste like candy instead of koala shit my personal favorite is cool berry but the orange creme ones are good too honestly these cough drops have saved my life at least six times now

coffee is gr9 but don’t forget to have some water every day too dehydration is NOT FUN (speaking from very painful personal experience)

University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:

Choosing and Registering for Your Classes

Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.

Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).

Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.

You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.

Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.

Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.

Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them. 

Attending Your Classes

Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.

Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.

Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient. 

You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.

Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.  

Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.

Tackling the Coursework

Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.

Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.

Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.

The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately! 

Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.

So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!

Previous Posts:

Application Process

Choosing/Changing Majors

Orientation/Move-In/First Day of Classes

Roommates

Things I Wish I Knew Going into College

Listen up mother fuckers. Here’s the truth about college. No sugar coating, none of that cutesy shit. Here’s what I wish I knew before I stepped foot on campus.

When people say communal bathrooms aren’t that bad what they actually mean is people will leave their dirty underwear in the showers, used tampons, clean their dishes in the bathroom sink, and leave their explosive diarrhea everywhere. If you really don’t think you need shower shoes, think again.

If you know you are not strong in a particular subject, PLEAAASE seek help. Find a tutor or really good friends that are willing to help you because when you get a D in math because you didn’t seek help even though you knew you fucking sucked at math you’ll regret it because that stupid ass shit tanked your GPA.

You will have professors and TAs (teaching assistants) that give absolutely no fucks about actually teaching. If this ends up being the case, use your resources, learn to teach yourself, Quizlet is your friend.

People might seem so nice in the first week, but I promise you, when welcome week is over and there’s no more free food, they won’t ever look your way again. The ones who stick with you after that, cherish them.

The grind is real. Don’t expect to do the minimum and pass my friend. Because you will fail. I promise you. Sometimes you gotta stay up until 3AM because you’ve got two papers due, a speech to write, and math homework that you didn’t realize was actually due at 11:59pm the previous night. So if you’re going to college just to say you went to college, leave immediately.

With that said, you might realize that college isn’t even for you. And that’s okay. Just remember the thousands of dollars you’ve spent and make your decisions accordingly. But know that college is not the only way to be successful or make money.  There are lots of sugar daddies out there.

You might change your major 2392897 times. It’s honestly whatever. You’ll figure it out and it will be fine.

I know you’ve already heard this one but I swear it’s fucking true. You will not want to drag your dead body out of bed to go to a fucking 8am class. I don’t care if you’re a morning person. Just don’t do it. Trust me. Trust anybody who says this. 

Free stuff is the best stuff.

Sometimes you just need to sit down and have a glass of wine. Or see a therapist. Whichever works for you.

You don’t have to drink or do drugs, but you might feel pressured to. Do whatever you want but make sure you are always safe, smart, and with people you can trust and know will take care of you after you’ve had that 12th drink and can’t even stand up straight.

No one really cares what you wear, how you look or what you do because we’re all too busy trying to figure out how to do 20 hours of homework, 6 hours of studying AND fit in 8 hours of sleep. 

Sometimes lectures are so pointless that you could teach yourself in 30 mins rather than sit for 2 hrs in a lecture. I’m not saying skip lectures, but I am saying that the more time you have, the more sleep you can get.

You’re funny af if you actually think you’re gonna get a full 8hrs of sleep. Try again.

College is your chance to reinvent yourself. Be very careful who you choose to become. Just don’t be that person who corrects the professor or types really fucking loud on their macbook during every fucking lecture.

Listen, you can really do whatever you want to do. You wanna be hoe? Do it. You wanna party Thursday through Saturday? Do it. Weed Wednesday? Go for it. But you sure as hell better show your ass to class and watch that GPA.

Nobody likes a snitch. Mind ya business.

Don’t let anybody make you feel like you do not deserve to be there. Because they will try you and you can still get a ticket for fighting. Except this time you’ll be charged for assault. 

Don’t wear your favorite shoes to a party. Don’t wear open toes shoes to a party. The floors of a frat house or a house party are filthy. Don’t bring a purse, always use the buddy system, watch out for creeps cause they be out there.

Nobody cares who you were in high school, no one wants to know your ACT score or whether you were valedictorian. Shut up. Y’all got into the same damn college. No one cares.

If you’re going to bullshit something, do it well.

Do the readings because when your ass gets called on during discussion because your TA wants to know what you think about Mondrian’s take on contemporary art and you don’t know, you gonna look stupid as hell.

You might have a really cool roommate, or you might have a roommate that has sex with her boyfriend on your bed. There’s no in-between.

Bring A LOT of storage for your dorm.

If you see students napping in weird places, crying in the bathroom, or smoking weed on their dorm roof-top, it be like that sometimes.

Find a really good place to study. DO NOT study in your room because you associate your room with sleep so that’s what you’ll want to do instead of study If you study in your room.

Freshman 15 ain’t real.

SAFE SEX. THESE HOES DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

College sucks sometimes, but put your mental health first. Sometimes you gotta skip class to take care of yourself and that is perfectly okay. You do not have to justify yourself or your decisions to anyone.

Good luck. I hope you survive. But if you don’t, like I said, there are always sugar daddies out there. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk y’all. 

College Executive Functioning Tips

Fair warning: this post is not really about doing homework, rather ideas for successfully acquiring/accessing more general living and organizational skills while dorming. Also, my first semester has been a shitshow so idk how qualified I am to give advice on the matter, but take it as you will. In a way it’s “things I learned the hard way”/a reflection on my first semester.

That being said, here we go:

1. To remember to bring the correct notebooks and materials, get a hanging clothes organizer and label for the 5/7 days of the week. Place the books/materials needed for each day on each labeled shelf. If you need certain books on multiple days, you can put index card placeholders or label what should be in each compartment.

2. Alternatively, you can get a mini days of the week dry erase board or a computer printout and write what materials you need on which days and which classes you go to (in order.)

3. This tip also works for homework: in college, the workload is much more predictable week to week, so if you always have online math due Monday, put it in another weekly table and schedule days to work on it in advance.

4. Schedule your asssignments to be done ahead of time. It’s a lot harder to get deadline-related accommodations in college and if you’re like me you feel uncomfortable asking for them. I’ve only needed to ask for one non accommodation included extension this semester, and it’s largely due to this.

5. Get. Your. Accommodations. In. Order. Before. The. School. Year. Starts. (if at all possible)

Learn from my mistakes. To be fair I didn’t have another option because my school requires everything to be done in person but it took me a month to get my letters which resulted in some awkward/discriminatory situations. Oops.

6. College accommodation processes are different than high school. There are no 504s/IEPs/under the table stealth accommodations here. Some colleges require retesting for your documentation. All require you to fill out a bunch of forms. You are largely responsible for knowing what helps you (though your liaison will likely make suggestions) so make a list of what worked for you in high school and will fly in college and request those (bring it with you to the meeting if you will forget). Also, your parents are generally forbidden from getting involved unless you sign a consent form, which is a huge change. You will need/be forced to develop self-advocacy skills. I definitely did. You also generally need to request to renew your accommodations every semester, and it’s your responsibility to remember. Set a reminder on your phone/digital calendar.

7. Post its are your friend. For me, they’ve been a valuable asset to my sucky working memory and using them minimizes resulting anxiety.

8. Laundry is hard, especially when you have physical disabilities. Double check your pockets or you might accidentally send your favorite pen through the wash and induce a meltdown. (To be fair I do check- which is why I said double check)

9. Choose specific dates/times to do your laundry, and set reminders. If you alternate lights and darks and do it, say, every Wednesday morning (pick an off time- Friday nights are great) you are a lot less likely to end up with a month’s worth of laundry and nothing to wear when you really need to look nice. Also, your suitcase can double as a rolling laundry basket.

10. Try to eat around the same times every day. Set alarms if you forget. Try to go on the off hours and eat as healthily as possible.

11. Clean your room before it gets too messy. This should go without saying but my drawers got junky by the end of the semester. Try scheduling a day of the week to do a quick clean up.

12. Your space can be a reflection of your mental state. I need things visually organized, but when I’m not doing well mentally I stop cleaning off my desk, putting my clothes in the laundry basket, making an attempt to make my bed, you name it. I’ve learned to recognize that this is a sign of stress and that tidying up a bit will make me feel a bit better.

13. College is not conducive to sleep, especially for work heavy majors. You. Need. (around) 8. (ish) Hours. Get them. It’s hard but everything else will fall apart if you don’t.

14. Make “ routine cards” for things like showering. Write down everything you need to take a shower on an index card and your steps for taking a shower (you can set a timer) so that you don’t take half an hour to get out your shampoo.

15. Drink water. Carry a water bottle so you have the visual reminder. Drink a glass at every meal. Schedule “teatime” and make an event of staying hydrated.

16. Allow yourself to relax. This is hard because the college environment demands you be “on” at all times, and this resulted in me feeling guilty for not studying when I was, well, not studying. I’m trying to work on scheduling times to work and times to not work, and to remember that I need to do fun things to take care of myself.

17. If you dress nicer than usual, you will apparently not look as depressed (assuming you have depression in the first place…). Use this to your advantage.

18. If you have un/undertreated/situational depression, get help before it gets really bad. I know a lot of college mental health offices push people away but put your self advocacy skills to use and get that counseling or whatever.

19. In the same vein, if you are struggling in a class (for whatever reason) don’t be ashamed to get extra help/sign up for tutoring. Especially if you’re like me and never needed to study a day in your life before this because the courses are structured differently.

20. Recognize your accomplishments. College can be really, really hard for people with impaired executive functioning, mental illnesses, developmental disabilities, etc. The change is hard and the learning curve is steep. But you’ve made it this far- so congrats! Celebrate!

If you liked this, please consider following my blog for more related content if you are not already. I post advice and sensory product reviews/suggestions.

School tips 🍒

1. Do all assigned reading - This is beneficial for many reasons but basically, it’s because it gives you a basic knowledge of what’s discussed in lecture. However, although reading alone is very helpful, I suggest taking notes or using whatever other methods you can that aid you in your learning. For example; taking notes, writing in margins, reading farther into what you don’t understand from other sources, writing down questions you have, and once you’re done summarize everything you read in your own words.

2. Prioritizing assignments based on the long-term effect it will have on your grade. For example, if you are assigned two papers to write, with one being crucial to your overall grade in the class VS one that wouldn’t have much of an effect, you need to decide which one is more important. Obviously, the first one is the best choice. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t even bother to do the second one, all it means is that it won’t be your best work. When the next essay is assigned in that class, just promise to do better. Ask yourself; Which one would have a larger effect on my grade if I were to fail it? Whichever one that is, that’s the one you should give the majority of your attention.

3. Record the lecture on your phone. Check with your professor before you do this. If they don’t want you to record, then just don’t do it. However, if they don’t mind, this can be a very useful tool. Anytime your professor says something that you believe could be helpful for you in the future, (while studying for your exam, doing homework, etc.) mark the time at which they said it on your notes. After class, go back through and take thorough notes on whatever it is they said. This is especially useful for when professors go off on tangents of important info and it’s hard for you to get it all down on your notes. 

*Also, if you have a commute to work like I do, then what I find very helpful is to listen to the lecture recording on the drive.*

3. Take sloppy notes in class, touch them up afterwards. While in class, scribble all important information down. Don’t worry about making it pretty. Afterwards, go through and organize them into clear, concise notes that give you an excellent summary of the lecture. By doing this, you’re focusing more on the professor rather than looking down at your notebook.

4. Do all practice problems. This may sound like a no-brainer, but a lot of the time there are practice problems deemed optional by your professor. Because of this, many people decide not to do them. Seriously, just do them. Practice, especially when done right after class, really helps the information soak in.

5. Proofread essays with different font and size. When you reread the same Times New Roman 12 point font paper over and over, your mind become used to it, therefore skipping over little mistakes and typos. If you change the font as well as the size, your brain will stop skipping what previously looked familiar (ie; a typo that you’ve been skipping over the whole time)

6. Think of school as your job. If you aren’t a good employee, you’ll get fired. If you aren’t a good student, you’ll fail. In order to avoid getting fired, you make a good impression on the boss, work harder, etc. Apply that same concept with school; make a good impression on your professor, turn everything in on time, etc.

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I am very excited for this upcoming school year to start. I have set many goals for myself and I hope you all do the same. Expect much more studying/educational posts for me as I’ll be using them to motivate myself and hopefully others. Good luck to all of you in your studies this year! ✨

I just got a job as a writing tutor, and it inspired me to start a series of writing masterposts! From teaching college composition for two years at grad school and from working as a consultant at my university’s Writing Center, I’ve come to learn a few things about writing I’d like to share. Some of these tips may sound basic, and some may be fresh to you. Some may meet you exactly where you are. Regardless, these are some of the foundational aspects of good college writing.

I. Content & Style: Avoid Fluffy Language

Perhaps this is a symptom of trying to meet page minimums, but some students tend to inflate sentences with unnecessary adjectives. Similarly, they may puff up an essay with a useless statement, like, “Depression affects people in various ways.” What follows a sentence like this is usually a cataloging of the various/numerous/diverse ways in which depression affects people. Kill the middleman: that useless sentence. Be assured that most readers are astute enough to infer that depression affects people in many ways when you list said ways.

Language that sounds like that of a motivational speaker is maddening to most college instructors. “If you are true to yourself, you will be happy in life.” “Friends and family are the most important way to get the emotional support you need.” These are platitudes and overly generalize. Broad claims make for unoriginal writing; be specific and back up your claims with a logical argument, providing evidence for your opinion. Broad generalizations like, “Since the dawn of time, people have loved art” are just padding and detract from more interesting ideas you may have. 

II. Description: Be Concrete and Concise

An easy way to avoid vague fluff is to use concrete images and concise language. First, if you can say something in five words instead of ten, that’s great! Go with the five. Second, concrete details provide a more refined image in the reader’s mind (car vs. Ford Taurus, for example) without the use of adjectives and adverbs. And try to avoid adverbs when you can. Show how a person is running “quickly” instead of telling the reader the person is running quickly. Is there sweat? Is this person bumping into others? Are the legs pumping like pistons? Specificity makes for much more interesting writing.

III. Organization: Make a Backwards Outline!

The best thing about outlines is that you ultimately do not have to follow them. Many people use the drafting process to think and come up with their best idea in the middle of the paper. But often the papers that are turned in are first drafts, so that great idea—around which you ought to have centered your paper—remains in the middle, not standing front and center and lacking enough space to develop further. If you’ve allowed yourself enough time to make a second/final draft, post-organize your paper. Map out the flow of your ideas and ask yourself if this is the best order and arrangement possible. Yes, revision is more work, but it is worth it. It is so, so, obvious to professors when a paper has not been properly organized.

IV. Grammar: Comma Splices

The most common grammatical error students make is the comma splice. A comma splice is the attachment of two sentences with only a comma. For example: “Harvey and Tim built a raft, they took it out on the river later.” ARGH. “Harvey and Tim built a raft” is a complete sentence, as is “they took it out on the river later.” How do you fix a comma splice? Well, there are three ways:

Use two separate sentences: “Harvey and Tim built a raft. They took it out on the river later.”

Add a conjunction after the comma: “Harvey and Tim built a raft, and they took it out on the river later.”

Use a semicolon: “Harvey and Tim built a raft; they took it out on the river later.

Standard/Edited (American) English grammar is the grammar of (American) academia and will be for a while. Also, simply, spelling and grammar mistakes only work to undermine your writing. If you have brilliant ideas, you shouldn’t obfuscate them with lousy grammar.

V. Language: Build Your Vocabulary

What does “obfuscate” mean? Well, when you encounter unfamiliar words, look them up and commit their meaning to memory. Practice using them, when appropriate. Of course I don’t bloat your language so that your prose reads like a thesaurus. Your writing should sound intelligent/formal (with the help of new words), yet not awkward and stiff with the clumsy handling of “big” words.

VI. Scoring: Read What You Wrote Out Loud

This is pretty basic. Listening to your own writing will help you determine if it sounds stiff and/or unnatural or just awkward as hell. You can read your writing aloud to yourself, but it is best to hear another person read it. I refer to this section as “scoring” because writing has a musical aspect, too. Your use of language should be pleasing, made so by choosing the right word for the right moment, by opting for combinations of words that sound harmonious, and so that your delivery of ideas is arranged to have the most powerful impact. Choose a tone suited to your subject, and know thy audience. What will sound good to you may not sound so good for your intended audience. Adjust the score accordingly.

VII. Research: Do More of It Than You Think You Need To

Often you will be assigned a minimum number of sources for a research paper. Let’s say five, for example. Go for eight or nine. Of course you should avoid using redundant sources (a book on Samuel Beckett’s stage directions and journal article about Samuel Beckett’s stage directions). Find as many perspectives as possible; it’ll only make your arguments stronger. Plus the more academic writing you read, the more naturally it’ll come when you have to do your own.

VIII. Go Weird or Go Home

Another reason more using sources than required can help: finding unique perspectives/approaches to a subject. You may encounter some ideas that counter popular assumptions (peer pressure has some positive impacts; depression can sometimes benefit cognitive function; anti-drug education actually increases drug use). Another interesting tack to take is to go with a subject that often makes people uncomfortable, such as child sexuality, masochism, and alternatives to capitalism.

Strange, uncommon arguments are more interesting than broader overly researched topics, such as nature vs. nurture. A paper on the deliberate use of plot holes, in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and their effect on narrator reliability would be far more interesting than the representation of capitalism in Animal Farm by George Orwell. The more complex and difficult the argument you choose the more critical thinking/writing skills you demonstrate. Weirdness is rewarded in academia, by getting your professor’s attention, by getting published in critical journals, etc. In this case, the axiom of “Be unique, and stand out in the crowd” stands true.

I hope this was helpful! Message me or send me an ask if you have any questions.