Day 286 Of Quarantine I Have Discoveredwww.webstaurantstore.com

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

I like it when someone gives Sykkuno a bunch of gifts subs and he's just like "Thanks for the x amount of gifts subs! That's a whole buncha gift subs! :)" Serotonin goes boost everytime.

oh i agree so hard. here’s some other things sykkuno says/does that i find endlessly entertaining:

‘that’s more subs than i get in a day/week/month/long period of time!’

‘good ol’ [insert name of one of his friends] you guys! you know we can always count on them’

referring to himself in plural form. saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ e.g. ‘you know we’re not that great at the game guys’

‘OH JESUS!’

‘You Guys Actually Killed Him/Her/Them!’

when he covers his mouth with his hand to laugh

‘EH’ when he hits something in the game. this man creates his own sound effects

alternatively, he goes ‘eh?’ when he’s confused sometimes. he really is the anime man huh

the way he NEVER curses, he literally will say ‘oh poop’ instead of ‘oh shit’ and ‘what the heck?!’ instead of ‘what the hell’

his friends frothing at the mouth at the NOTION of him cursing, the fact that rae has spent their entire friendship trying to get sykkuno to say ONE swear word, the way corpse bribed sykkuno with a face reveal that one time

‘Girls Aren’t Into Me™’ and the one time he said ‘honestly i think there are more straight guys into me than girls. is that weird to say?’ because weirdly he is absolutely right. i love watching him give his straight male viewers gay crises. also literally almost every gamer guy he meets simps for him. there’s literally this DAILY ‘simp chart’ where some twitter user makes a ‘ranking’ of who the top sykkuno simp is. some of sykkuno’s friends have found out about the simp chart and have voiced out how they hope to get first place some day. it’s THAT real and it’s fucking hilarious

sykkuno doesn’t know about the simp chart. the lack of awareness he has about most of social media and pop culture that isn’t anime or video games in general is INSANE he literally only knows his friends. who’s his fave actor? jordan fisher. because they’re friends. who’s his fave musician? jae from day6, lilypichu, and corpse husband. because they’re his friends. he is biased and he admits that openly

‘LET’S GO BOYS’ because i will never forget that impostor game. sykkuno’s proximity chat impostor games spawned some of the best among us moments in existence

the way he acts sus and sounds sus all the time so no one can tell when he’s lying. but also he trolls so hard and is so unconfident in his skills that he throws games sometimes. someone once said he’s an s-tier among us player who plays in the b-tier and that’s exactly how he is

how he’ll get obsessed with something very random in every game he plays: ventkkuno, standing on top of the vent in among us, thereby inventing the Vent Strat™, olivekkuno, because he found out eating olives makes ur vision blurry in minecraft and started giving all his friends olives and got called a drug dealer, also he bribed so many of his friends to make him basement rooms in their house, netkkuno, because he kept building nets in raft and at first he was accused of wasting resources, but then the nets started becoming useful, and now in rust he’s like an arms dealer or something?

the way -kkuno is a suffix. very good stuff

ok but he’s actually so sweet to his friends in games. he’s always giving people stuff, and sometimes it’s a ‘strategy’ but at the end of the day he just wants his friends to be happy

but also he’s so CHAOTIC. he likes to secretly incite chaos but not be apart of it. also his funny obsessions within games such as the nets in raft have such an unhinged energy. his alignment is true neutral but that’s because he hops across every other alignment to the point where all his actions neutralize

the way he pronounces words. i swear to fucking GOD i don’t know how he decides what to say normal and what to say in the most bizarre way possible. he says ‘Uber’ as ‘YOU-ber’ and ‘lightning’ as ‘light-uh-ning’. he once said ‘orange’ as ‘or-ran-j’. i’m so done. i hate him why is he like this

when he says abbrieviations like they’re acronyms. remember when he said ‘ASMR’ as ‘as-mur’ i wanted to kill him. i wanted him dead. rae and corpse were so confused. corpse thought he was saying ‘asthma’

when he ends the stream and he thanks everyone for coming to make it fun for him. he says p much the same thing every time but it’s endearing. as a whole he’s honestly a breath of fresh air in the gaming/streaming community and i’m glad i started watching his content

Reblog if Black Lives Matter to you

Where are those woke white people at!?

"Let me tell you a story about a man called Sykkuno"

"Alright, I like it already"

college professor just said “you’re probably too young to even remember this” and brought up something that happened in 2011