My Graduation Cap, The Labor Of Twenty Four Hours And Finished Fourteen Hours Before The Ceremony.

My graduation cap, the labor of twenty four hours and finished fourteen hours before the ceremony.

I hope it pissed off or offended someone, that was half of the meaning behind the design.

I’m considering doing commissioned caps like this in the future. Thoughts?

I think it’s sad that universities are sending these instructions out, including how to properly wear a mask. Why is it so hard to cover your nose and mouth? People who have their noses sticking out over their masks when I’m around almost get to hear my very unkind opinions on their intelligence.

Nose not covered = no mask

What is the point of bothering if someone doesn’t cover their respiratory zones. Hide your nose and mouth, it isn’t that hard

Last night we made the worst call of my life to the vet.

My little old muffin top, almost 17 years old and with us almost thirteen years, suffered two seizures when I was alone at home with him. I didn’t realize what they were, I thought he had fallen out of his bed wrong due to the horrifying howling, but I realized that he’d wet himself the second time.

I took him outside to sit on the porch to have some fresh air and prevent him from making any more messes in the house. He was just a little confused and had a hard time getting his back legs under control, so I thought he was going to be fine.

My parents got home, and ten minutes later he went down in front of my mom and I. My dad got on the phone with the vet, and they decided that we wouldn’t let him suffer anymore when I realized his accidents inside may not have been because we were gone too long over the past four months. I was a mess as soon as my dad asked what we wanted to have happen to him, and I didn’t stop crying for two hours.

I’m so grateful to the doctor and techs who stayed over an hour late so we could bring him in five minutes to closing. They gave me a bag of lean treats he snarfed down with great enthusiasm like his normal self. I had to have my dad tell the tech when it was time to sedate him, and we had a small family cuddle for those last five minutes with him awake. He tried so hard to stay awake to enjoy the cuddles, but I made this decision as we were coming up on an hour after the last seizure and I couldn’t put him through that again to be selfish. He went to sleep with his head nuzzled into my arm, and we took off his halter so he’d be more comfortable, and I was laying down next to him starting to lose it so I could stare at his face to say my goodbyes.

The lethal injection came and went, and I felt his last breath and knew he was gone before the doctor pronounced him. I completely lost it then, and I couldn’t bring myself to get up and leave him, my parents had to basically drag me away. I probably looked crazy when I walked into that place bawling my eyes out, but when we left I just stood in the parking lot crying into my mom’s shoulder for a few minutes before my dad got us to get into the car to go home. The only reason I stopped crying was because I was playing on my switch, but then I FaceTimed with my best friend to see her puppy and I lost it again when I saw her dog. I kept her up till 11:30 to just talk and take my mind off of what I’d had to do last night, and I thought I would be able to keep it together after a few more tears when I went to bed.

But then, I came downstairs to find the baby gate no longer on the stairs, and the bed that’s been taking up half of the kitchen floor wasn’t there, and I was just looking and listening for the sound of him snorting at my mom or breathing heavily on my mom’s leg and it hit me all over again. I’ve managed to not cry until I started writing this, and it’s hit me again and again all day that he’s gone. I missed him as soon as I was made to get up from the floor last night, but I miss him even more right now because I keep looking for him and reaching out for a dog that isn’t there next to me demanding pets or cookies.

I know this is what grief is, and that I was preventing him from suffering any longer as well as saving him from the painful confusion and embarrassment from his accidents, but now I know I’m gonna miss everything he did that annoyed us and even cleaning up his accidents. And it’s even worse because I keep hearing sounds every once in a while that make me think he’s in the next room over. How long does it take for the memory of losing someone you’ve loved and adored for half your life to no longer be so painful?

Rest In Peace, Kilo, my fuzzy little monster. I love you and I will come home to you again someday, just like I always promised to every time I left.

Thank you COVID-19 for shutting done the country for the quarantine, it gave me more than a year at home to spend with him that I wouldn’t otherwise have had.

April 2004 - August 17, 2021

Prequel is posted, titled Patron Gods

Story update

Fire and Fury has just had chapter seven added to it, refer to my earlier post to find it, or just google it with my username crazypandagirl.

Also, the poll I had on the profile has ended with a majority vote for a prequel crossover for this story. It should be up soon, since it just needs to be looked over one more time.

Never knew I needed this until I saw it

Lily: (loses James in a crowd)

Lily: I'm in love with Severus Snape!

James: LIKE HELL YOU ARE!

Lily: Found him.