I Might Look Normal But On The Inside I Am Just A Mosaic Of Skz References

I might look normal but on the inside I am just a mosaic of skz references 😭😭

Happy birthday hobi 🌞❤️❤️‍🩹

Where there's Sunshine, there's Midnight Rain

Pairing: Idol!Hoseok x Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of struggle, fluff, established relationship, no mentions of reader's gender.

Summary: J-hope is sunshine in human form, but that makes him the midnight rain too. A short imagine of the reader helping Hoseok understand this.

masterlist

Another night, tossing and turning alone in a big bed. Waiting.. hoping, for the one who is the hope for a million people around the world. Another night spent reaching the cold side of the empty bed, staring at the sky counting down the minutes till daylight, sighing endlessly. Another night hoping hobi would return to you.

He's been home for a week since the tour but he hasn't been home since then. Even the bags were dropped off by his manager, who has visited three times since to collect the things he needed. As far as you knew there was no comeback anytime soon. There was effectively no requirement for him to stay over at the dorms at least for the next two weeks. Especially when he has a home studio set up in the house you both had bought together and decorated.

His not being home has become a routine, a habit even- albeit an excruciating one. What hurts more is the silence, even when on tour he texts or calls at least once a day. Sighing you open the same old chat to see the latest message from a week ago, the same text you have seen a million times till now.

Boarding the plan home. See you soon.

You scroll up the familiar chat screen and see that the messages become less expressive as the tour progresses. You also remember how the news articles and fan tweets raved more about J-hope the idol’s brilliance on stage at the exact same time. Another pattern you are used to, for every emoji his messages as j-hope had, Hoseok's messages became curt and to the point.

Once again, this isn’t new to you or him. In fact, you both met at the peak of j-hope and the absolute low of Hoseok. You might not have been a die-hard fan of the group but you knew enough to know j-hope was not the same shy, anxious and silent Hosoek you’d met by chance in that café. The contrast between who he has on stage and the person you grew to love were stark opposites. Not that you never saw the sunshine hobi, but he was present almost in equal parts as the Hoseok who walks around with a cloud on his head.

But Hoseok never went silent on you in this way. He might be verbally silent for days or weeks together but expressed his feelings in other ways. This time he was completely absent and that simply wouldn’t do. You gave him a week to himself and he still hasn’t returned home. This will simply not do.

And that’s how you find yourself at the door of his studio, at 2 AM, covered in layers of jackets and holding a bag of the dinner you’d made him today- just like you have done every day the past week.

You hesitate outside the studio, looking intently at the door as you contemplate knocking. You know he’s there, instinctively and also because you asked his manager. Huffing out another deep breath you knock on the door.

Silence.

That’s all there is for a minute before you try to open the door yourself, surprised to find it unlocked. You enter the room which reeks of the familiar scent that screams everything hobi- sunshine, flowers and carefree happiness, only to find your boyfriend curled up on the couch hugging his knees with his head down. You close the door slowly and go near him, he's shivering. The sight of him shatters your heavy heart and you reach out to caress him.

"hobi...", your voice comes out as a meek plea.

He shudders for a second and lifts his head up to look at you. His eyes are bloodshot, his usually plump cheeks stained with tears and his heart-shaped mouth in a frown. You drop to your knees and hold his face in your hands, helping him look at you eye to eye. His eyes immediately dart down and he lowers his knees. Just as he can try to push you away you sit next to him on the couch and turn him towards you. You hold his hand with a grip that tells him that he cannot run anymore.

"Please leave me alone." He begs, more tears streaming down his exhausted and ashamed face. You offer him a smile, not one of pity or empathy, just a smile of love.

"You had enough time. I won't let you hurt on your own."

Your voice comes out harsher than you intended but it works as he looks up, eyes now curious. In that second of pure vulnerability, he looks like a child. You reach out and wipe those damned tears away from his face and he leans into your touch.

When he talks again his voice cracks, "I knew I would end up hurting you eventually."

"You didn't hurt me hoba." He looks at me pointedly, "Of course, I did... look at us. I spent a week in the studio because I am too fucked in the head to be with you. All the other guys went home and are happily resting with their partners and I left you alone after months of being away... all because I feel like a fraud. Because I can't figure out why I am this way and why I never have any of me to give you. When I should be giving all of me to the one I love with my whole heart."

By this time he is on your lap, your fingers running through his hair, his hands holding your other hand for dear life.

"Everyone is a little messed up in the head. But it is even harder for someone like you who spends all his time giving every bit of happiness and kindness to everyone around you." You hear him sigh and he starts drawing patterns on your palm as you do the same with his scalp. "I don't really do all that you know..", he sounds unsure and you sense the venom of self-hate dripping in his tone.

"They call you human sunshine for a reason hobi."

He freezes in place for a second and nods slightly. You pause for a minute to look at him, really look at this exhausted, loving human who does so much for everyone around him and so little for himself. He notices the long pause and starts with his patterns again on your palm and settles on your lap. You realise that he needs to see himself for all he is and accept all that as it comes. And you hope he will let you stand with him the whole way.

"Hobi, you are human sunshine. I know it makes you happy to make everyone smile, to take care of your brothers and friends. I know you love being the reason to light up someone's day and being their hope. I also know that you do that because it's what gives you hope for yourself. But...". You pause to gauge his reactions but he shows none and taking that as a good sign you continue.

"But the thing is you are not sunshine... you are human. To be human is to understand that where there is sunshine there is also midnight rain. The more you give, the more you need to. To be sunshine is to burn yourself for others and that is not good for you. So it is okay for you to take your time. To soak in your rain, to be silent and just receive. It's okay for you to rest and pause... Hobi, it's okay for you to receive my love and happiness so that you can give it back tenfolds. You are human and you need your own dose of sunshine too."

He looks up at me with wet big eyes, this time the heart-shaped mouth turned upwards. He slowly gets up, never letting your hand go and moves closer and pulls you in a hug. He holds on to you until there is no space between both of you and rests his head on your shoulder. You reach out one hand to caress the back of his head and hold him by the waist in the other hand.

Time ceases to move as you both sit there, him slightly whimpering into your shoulders and you trying to ease all the pain from him. Hoping that the personification of hope himself will learn to accept himself- one deep breath and a tear at a time. Hoping that he can learn to embrace the rain that follows Hoseok by being the sunshine that j-hope is.

From my pov, every woman's love language revolves around not needing to ask.

♡YOONGI♡ONESHOT REC's

🥵 - Smut 🎀 -Fluff. 🔴 - Angst

Night Routine by @dreamescapeswriting ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader »Genre : established relationships, parent AU, Yoongi being appreciative of his wife, both of them being adorable for one another.

All That Holly Jolly Sh*t by @daechwitatamic ⏐🥵⏐🎀⏐🔴⏐ »Pairings : Exboyfriend!Yoongi xFem!Reader. »Genre : Exes to Lovers. »Summary : You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you?

On The Court by @centerhaechan ⏐🎀⏐

»Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader »Genre : College!au, basketball player!au, enemies to lovers »Summary : As captain of your school's winning women's basketball team, it is only understood that you despise the men's basketball team and their captain. Your main rival, Min Yoongi, enjoys testing your patience while he attempts to lead his own team to a championship victory. Your coaches believe you both have problems with teamwork, and insist that working together will produce a promising solution.

Celestial Ruin by @remedyx ⏐🥵⏐🎀⏐🔴⏐

SX Seoul Series by @lo1k-diamonds ⏐🥵⏐🎀⏐🔴⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Genre : Coworkers (mutually) pining to lovers »Summary : You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party.

»Pairings : Fallen Angel!Yoongi x Angel!(f)reader x Angel!Namjoon. »Genre : Fantasy, Supernatural, Angels and Demons,Corruption.

»Summary : Just being in his proximity made my skin crawl. As if his tainted wings were contagious and I was putting myself at risk just being near him. Yoongi was corruption incarnate. Once revered upon his throne and now cast aside for the sins he committed. Inky wings replacing the beautiful gold they used to be. The sign of the Fallen. And the way he looked at me said he wouldn't be sinking alone.

Midnight by @prettypearlypisces ⏐🥵⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader »Summary : "I think I can help you sleep better."

Broad Day Light by @katnisspeetaprim ⏐🎀⏐🔴⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Always, Us by @katnisspeetaprim ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader

The Piano Teacher by @borathae ⏐🥵⏐ »Pairing : Vampire!Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Genre : established relationship!AU, Smut. »Summary : “You asked Yoongi to teach you how to play the piano. It sounded like a good idea at first, but soon you have to realise that sitting so close to him and watching his hands dance over the keys is a rather impossible task to do when all you crave is the feeling of them on your body.”

Take Five Part2 by @jiminrings ⏐🎀⏐🔴⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : Dr. min yoongi’s a board-certified dermatologist; skilled, renowned, and in-demand — oh and also, he’s divorced.alternatively, you’re yoongi’s nurse and you have a crush on him, and he gives you five chances to ask him out — he never said anything about accepting though.

Stress Relief by @dreamescapeswriting ⏐🥵⏐

»Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Genre : Established relationships, soft Yoongi having a bad day (This was supposed to go out back in October but I'd gotten this mixed with another member)

Moving In by @dreamescapeswriting ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Genre : Established relationships, yoongi trying to make himself known in her apartment, making space for each other, cute, fluffy

I Wanted To Be Romantic? by @btsficsandsuch ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : Yoongi begs you to help him contact his ex girlfriend. At first you agree but then you quickly realize that was a mistake, for both you and Yoongi

Ps, Is It Okay If I Start Calling You Dad? by @btsficsandsuch ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : You have a daughter from a previous relationship. Yoongi has always treated her like his own. But when BTS becomes more popular he starts having to make sacrifices. Unfortunately, those come at the expense of your daughter.

Love Language by @kooksbunnnn ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : Just Yoongi and his love language. 

Pull It Harder by @multicitrus ⏐🥵⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : Yoongi has a slight hair-pulling kink.

Thinking about Jealous by @7ndipity ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader.

Sharing The Moment by @bts-0t-7 ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Genre : Established relationship, parents au, married au. »Summary : You and your son went to D-Day 3 to support Yoongi. Your son stole the show after appearing on stage and ARMY was absolutely… swooned. 

Taste of His Own Medicine by @btsficsandsuch ⏐🔴⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : You suddenly have to leave to go back to your home country for a few months. Yoongi decides to ignore you so you decide to show him how it feels when he realizes you’re gone.

Soft by @7ndipity ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader. »Summary : Your first morning with Yoongi reminds you of just how soft he is.

Praise Kink by @euphoricfilter ⏐🥵⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Thinking about Jealous Yoongi by @7ndipity ⏐🎀⏐ »Pairings : Yoongi x Fem!Reader

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Oh my god thank you anon ❤️🌈🥹