Monster!Tim Coraline AU Idea

Monster!Tim Coraline AU Idea

This idea would not leave me alone.

It’s a cross between a meta!/magic!Tim au and a Coraline au.

Before I get into it, I feel like I should explain.  I was on a bit of an Eldritch!Batfamily and Cryptid!Batfamily kick.  Then I found a collection of supernatural Tim aus.  Then I stumbled across a Coraline au.  There’s probably also some inspiration in there from vampire au fics.

It didn’t really jell until the idea occurred to me of a scene where some frightened villain asks Tim “What kind of monster are you?” and Tim says “The hungry kind.”

...

The idea is that somewhere back along the way, Tim’s family tree includes some kind of supernatural creature which may or may not have been an eldritch entity.

The supernatural heritage allows Tim to acquire abilities from other entities he has defeated, and Gotham is absolutely full of the supernatural if you pay attention.

Of course, Tim’s power isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  It actually comes packaged with some pretty nasty side effects.

One of those side effects is perpetual Hunger.  Tim is always Hungry.  There is no way to stop it.  He eats enough to stay healthy, but he still feels Hunger at all times.  Increasing his food intake will not help and will screw up his metabolism and cause him to need more for normal function.  If this was allowed to spiral out of control it could eventually reach a point where he was physically unable to eat the amount of food he needed to function and starved to death on a full stomach. 

Fixing it is stupid hard because this particular sort of magical inheritance is really fucking inconvenient.  And, of course, whatever is up with his biology also makes him insanely susceptible to addiction, so no coffee for him unless he wants caffeine withdrawal symptoms all the time for however long it takes to fix that.  The constant Hunger also makes it difficult to get enough sleep.  Have you ever tried to go to sleep on an empty stomach?  Not easy, was it?  Imagine that every night.

The Hunger is fairly central to the nature of the magic.  Whatever supernatural entity he’s descended from, it is the Hungry kind.  The ritual of defeating another supernatural entity, taking a bit of the defeated entity’s power, and incorporating it into himself serves as a sort of metaphorical devouring, (and metaphors matter more to magic than they do to normal biology).  That’s why he’s able to gain power and abilities from defeated foes. 

...

Tim’s relationship with his parents is complicated.  His supernatural heritage comes from his mother’s side of the family.  She did her best to teach him about it and how to cope with it, but a lot of knowledge was lost over the generations due to persecution forcing those like them into hiding more than once.  There may have been a few individuals who spiraled out of control and caused small-scale famines before losing their lives.  It only takes a few cases for people to decide that a specific category of people is simply not worth the risk of having around.  Janet always referred to herself and Tim (as well as anyone else sharing the condition) as “those afflicted with Gluttony.”  This is the closest they have to a name for the condition.

One of the important things Janet Drake teaches her son is to pursue his passions.  It is incredibly important for individuals like them to have things outside the self that they can draw satisfaction and fulfilment from, things that keep them going in the face of the relentless Hunger.  This is what leads Tim to his night-time photography of Gotham, and eventually to his fascination with the Bats. 

Janet’s passions are archeology and travel.  Unfortunately, traveling from dig site to dig site is not a particularly stable or safe environment to raise a child in.  She needs to do these things to remain in good health.  Without her external coping mechanisms, she could start spiraling.  If she starts spiraling, it might trigger her son to start spiraling too because children in their developmental years are delicate, and this type of hereditary magic is fucking inconvenient (there might be ways of managing things that make it easier to live with, but between the knowledge lost and the risks that come with experimentation, they don’t have much info on how anything works).  She comes home as much as she can without the risk of compromising both their health.

She also taught Tim how to calculate appropriate portion sizes based on nutritional data so as not to screw up his metabolism, and how to fix it if he does mess up.  She also stayed and managed the process the first time it happened because the process of returning the metabolism of one afflicted with Gluttony to normal after it’s gotten out of hand is difficult and unpleasant and Tim wasn’t old enough to handle it by himself.  The nanny that had overfed him hadn’t been malicious or unreasonable, she’d just been operating on the assumption that he had standard human biology.  It took months to get Tim healthy again.  It took several hefty bribes to keep things under wraps.  Janet doesn’t know if there are still people out there hunting their kind, but she’s not willing to risk it.

Janet may not know about the aspect of the family magic that lets them gain powers from defeating other entities.  It’s possible that she was holding off on explaining this until he was older and more ready for the responsibility of multiple superpowers.  It’s also possible that the knowledge got lost somewhere along the way and Janet didn’t discover it herself because she didn’t spend her childhood running around Gotham at night and was more the sort of person who would stay home and read when she had trouble sleeping.

...

Tim discovers his ability to gain abilities from defeating other supernatural things fairly early on.  The type of defeat can vary, but it has to be something of significance.  A fight will work for most, but there are other particular challenges that will work for specific cases.

The first things a young Tim is able to beat are these small things, invisible to most, that gain power from learning secrets.  What that power is used for, I couldn’t tell you.  They don’t seem to do much other than sneak around and learn secrets.  Tim doesn’t know if there’s a proper name for these things or not, but he calls them Secret Hunters.  They are absolutely everywhere in Gotham. 

Secret Hunters are invisible to most, but Tim is able to see them.  It might be because of his own supernatural nature, or it might be something else entirely.  If it’s hereditary it must have skipped his parents’ generation.  Neither of them seem to be able to see them.  Tim gains improved stealth and a sense for when something is hidden from catching Secret Hunters until they wise up and start avoiding him.  (Catching them works in place of a fight because secret hunters primarily operate on stealth and evasion.)

He can’t just magically know secrets, but he can tell when there is a secret.  (He still figured out Batman’s and Robin’s secret identities on his own merit.  The most this ability would have done is alert him to the fact that they had secret identities if that hadn’t already been obvious from the fact that they were wearing masks.)

He also gets various other abilities from other things he encounters while scrambling all over Gotham at night.  Nearly doesn’t get out of some of the scrapes he gets himself into.  He gains the ability to cut with his fingernails as if they were razors from something that nearly killed him.  He gains the ability to climb like a goat from a Jersey Devil.  Etc.

...

At some point, Tim is targeted by a beldam.  He doesn’t get the kind of warnings that Coraline does, but his ability to sense secrets lets him know that the Beldam is hiding something, and any child raised in any part of Gotham knows to be suspicious of things that seem too good to be true.  Tim doesn’t have a convenient seeing stone from the neighbor, but he does have the advantage of his own supernatural nature which the Beldam doesn’t know about.

Tim finds a button-eyed doll that looks like him after his parents leave on yet another trip, and thinks it’s a gift they meant to give him before leaving.  They do often bring interesting souvenirs.  It wouldn’t be at all unusual for them to find an artist who sews dolls to look like people and have one made based on pictures of him.  Later on, he discovers the key. 

This Beldam is older and more powerful than the one from Coraline.  She has more power and more past victims to work with, so she’s able to make a larger, more populated world. 

Oh by the way, I head-canon that the Other versions of people in the Other world are actually past victims of the Other Mother, remade and dressed up for whatever role she has them play.  The three ghosts were just the three most recent and not fully processed for use yet.  That’s why the Others are able to act against her sometimes (Other Wybie saving Coraline from the mirror, Other Father tossing the eye to Coraline) or say things she doesn’t want them too (Other Father says “so sharp you won’t feel a thing” and Other Mother kicks him under the table).

The Other Mother doesn’t know all that Tim knows, so the Other World has inconsistencies like Other Batman and Other Robin sitting across the table from Other Bruce and Other Jason.  She doesn’t know they’re the same people.  She just knows that they’re all important to Tim.  She also tries to tell him to “eat as much as he wants” when his real mother was the one to explain the dangers of attempting to eat to fullness for people with their condition.

There isn’t a cat to warn Tim but he doesn’t need it.  He can sense hidden intentions in everything, and he’s fully capable of uncovering the hidden secrets himself. 

Tim doesn’t have a cat, but he does have Other Robin, who might have been made from whatever remained of someone close to one of the people mirrored in the Other World made for Tim.  He doesn’t remember his life, but somehow he feels incredibly motivated to help a boy who cares dearly for whoever and is willing to let him know that they're living a good life out there in the real world.

Tim discovers the nature of the other world and sets out to free the souls trapped there.  He fights the Beldam will all the viciousness and desperation of someone who knows they’ve only got one shot.  He takes everything he can from this fight as he makes sure she won’t ever hurt anyone again.  He doesn’t stop until the beldam is well and truly dead.  Then he unravels Other Gotham and spills all of the souls out into the world where they can move on and rest.

This is how Tim learns to Sew.  He can’t make entire populated worlds like the beldam, but that’s mostly because he refuses to do what she did.  He can control things he’s made (though there’s limits on how much) and even see through buttons he’s sewn (onto cushions and such, he's not the Other Mother).  He also gets some minor illusory powers that let him make things look a bit brighter/nicer/cheerier than they are.  It takes quite some time before he’s comfortable with using these powers.  Trauma is a bitch like that.

Part of the reason this version of Tim was so desperate to do something about Batman losing it out of grief is because he already has Evil Batman trauma from Other Batman, and he doesn’t need that shit happening in real Gotham.

By this point Tim has a collection of powers that allow him to navigate the more dangerous parts of Gotham largely without fear.  Now he has to learn how to manage without using any that he isn’t one hundred percent certain he can sneak past Batman, which means he’ll have to divide his attention between learning from the training and not letting himself do things the supernatural way.  This is going to suck.

It does, in fact, suck.

Oh, it turns out some of the rogues are a bit supernatural.  He gains a bit of an intuitive understanding of the health of plants from Ivy.  He gains the ability to taste emotions from Scarecrow.  (Also, Johnathan Crane is a freaking weirdo, fear tastes like spoiled milk!)  The rogues with supernatural tendencies are freaking terrified of the new Robin because he always seems like he wants to freaking eat them.  The non-supernatural types don’t get it.

Eventually, Red hood breaks into Titan’s tower.  Tim, by this point, is very good at deciphering how supernatural entities work and is packing an extensive inventory of powers.  He realizes quickly that this is some kind of manipulative entity that feeds on rage and pain attached to an unwitting host.  When he realizes that the unknowing (and therefore unconsenting) host is Jason Todd, he tells the Lazarus Entity in no uncertain terms to give Jason back or perish.

Jason, who does not realize he has a malicious, mind-warping, supernatural parasite and believes there to be no one other than himself and Tim present, is understandably confused.

Tim decides that the Lazarus entity has had its chance and springs into action.

Jason is treated to the terrifying sight of just what Tim Drake is like when he’s not expending conscious effort on not being something out of a horror movie.  Suddenly he’s in the middle of a spider’s web and no matter how hard he tries to fight back everything around him is under the control of his opponent.  Furniture flies around on puppet strings.  Getting too close puts him in range of the freaking claws this kid apparently has!?  Trying to get away just leaves him caught in strings and the more he struggles the more entangled he becomes!  The new Robin is skittering and gliding around in a decidedly inhuman way. 

Jason honestly thinks he's going to die when he finds himself bound with Tim standing over him.  He passes out when Tim rips the Lazarus entity away from him and destroys it. 

Tim gains the ability to heal from defeating the Lazarus entity.

Jason is surprised and confused when he wakes up bundled in a handmade quilt with his head in Tim’s lap and a cool compress on his forehead, feeling sore but more well and whole than he has since before he died.

Jason later decides that his memories of the fight at Titans Tower must be some kind of weird fever dream caused by his body purging the last of the Lazarus Water from his system. It goes along with Tim's account of things.

According to Tim, Jason entered the tower, initiated a lock-down, and then collapsed on the floor. Then, Tim moved him closer to a wall where he was less likely to get stepped on than in the middle of the walkway and did his best to take care of him there because Jason was simply too large and heavy for him to carry all the way to the med bay by himself.

This is far more believable and less of a mind screw than what Jason remembers. Obviously this tiny, baby-faced kiddo who played nursemaid for a stranger who broke into the tower and now looks up at him with wide, starry eyes couldn't actually be the terrifying, predatory creature from the nightmare. It was all just a bad dream.

He's honestly glad he collapsed before he had time to do any harm. The poor kid will never have to know what Jason went there to do. Jason knows, though, and he'll do his damned best to make up for it. He may have flubbed first impressions, but he is going to be the best damn big brother that ever big brothered.

...

Tim might or might not go full on feral cryptid when Bruce is lost in the Timestream. I haven't decided. He will probably pick a fight with the Lazarus Pit much to the confusion and alarm of everyone around.

That’s all I’ve got so far.

Funny

Alfred: Who is this?

Seven year old Bruce: His name is Danny. He's my older brother

Alfred: You're an only child. You don't have a brother.

Bruce: Mom? Dad? Do I have a brother?

Thomas: I only ever loved your mother, and I find baby-making repulsive—no offense, Brucie—so biologically, no, you don't have a brother. Emotionally, on the other hand, if you feel like he is your brother, I don't mind calling him my son. It's not like I can't afford it, nor can this lad outrun me.

Alfred: That's... kidnaping, sir.

Martha: Oh don't be so uptight Alfred. You Brits worrry about the sillist of things.

Alfred: Silly thing? You mean the law!?

Martha: Yes, that's a pesky thing. Besides, he has my eyes and Thomas' nose! That's obviously our son.

Bruce considering Danny: He does have your nose, dad.

Thomas proud: A chip off the old block that one. Good job catching your brother Brucie.

Bruce: Thank you! I used my innocent face like you said, Mom!

Martha beaming: A pretty face is a valuable weapon, darling!

Alfred whispering to Danny: Blink four times if you want me to get you out of here. The Waynes are not entirely sane.

Danny:..... The kid just said he needed someone to walk him home cause he was lost.

Alfred: That's how they get you. I once offered Master Thomas my coat during a suprise downpour. That was four years ago, and now I'm a butler. He gave me an embroidered apron with the words, "You're mine now, Brit"

This is great

Bart: *casually traps a fifth dimensional imp for eternity by quantum entangling him inside of an atom*

The Team:

Danny's Nest

Tim gets sacrificed in a ritual to summon "the ALL powerful conqueror, Phantom". And by sacrificed, I mean Tim really dies and Danny is forced into his body forcefully.

There's no coming back from that. Not even after the cultists are stopped.

So here I am, feel free to ignore if I'm breaking any boundaries.

 Your story actually made me think of Tim’s process through the trauma and mainly how he processes most adult things. I do like soft, hurt, self-sacrificing Tim like any hot, red blooded fan, of course.

But let me argue that Tim Drake is not a child child, he has been his own responsible adult since he was six. He learned budgeting and bills and taxes and stranger danger and all the things adults eventually teach children from TV/the internet and he is not ashamed of it.

Kinda that when Jack and Janet left him alone with a housekeepr, he basically parentified himself.

So in comes the 12/13 year old who sees Batman tiptoeing the edge and goes: I can fix this dude so hard!

And yeah, Bruce is almost lost to his grief and barely conscious of the utter shitshow around him, “sure, whatever kid, be Robin, but train with other adults, I’m too broken hearted to adult right now. Oh, you learned from Alfred and Dick, great, Imma teach you and oh, you disappeared for a while, huh, you got even better, I wonder what you did, well whatever let’s go on patrol.”

And years pass, Bruce heals, he gets his family back, he gains allies and perspective.

And maybe one day he is high as a kite on some scarecrow or ivy drug or whatever, he beat the villain, he did the justice, weee~

And he realizes he is home and Tim’s tiny hand is pulling hin towards the bathroom and he is confused.

Tim, on the other hand, is so used to Bruce’s shit, that he simply taps him on the back of the knees to make him kneel by the toilet bowl and goes: “Okay, you feel up to puking on your own or should I make you?”

And Bruce is even more confused because his children usually weren’t like this, they were soft and depended on his stability, none of his children should see him this vulnerable.

And maybe he takes a little too long to reply because suddenly Tim is shoving two fingers down his throat while holding the back of his head and suddenly Bruce is vomiting and Tim pats his heaving back and makes sure none of it goes in his  hair while TSKING because “Really Bruce? Don’t be a baby, my hand can’t hurt that much, I’m like 13.”

And Bruce, for once, realizes he is not the parent in this relationship and he is not sure how it happened.

You can extrapolate Bruce Mommy/Daddy-issues Wayne would definitely fall for that scarily inteligent teen that has become his highly unimpressed new mommy if you like.

Or he simply tries (and fails) to parent this child who somehow doesn’t need him like Dick and Jason and Damian ever did and he is frightened that if Tim doesn’t need him he will leave.

Which is why Tim gets more benefits than Dick and Jason ever did at his age COMBINED.

A car? You got it.

A Ducatti? Red, black or both?

Your own team instead of integrating you to Dick’s? SURE THING!

It is quite telling that even if Dick is Bruce’s oldest adopted child and the one he is trusting the mission to, TIM is the one who is supposed to inherit the company and thus Batman’s biggest source of income and Bruce’s charity and social justice pet projects in case of Bruce’s death.

________________________________________________________________

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just read the comment you left on ‘here cometh the iceman’ and i cannot tell you how happy i was to be greeted by this in my inbox!!!!!!! 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍!!!!

i love your tim HC so much because it reallly does align with how he behaves so often! tim is a child who has, often, had to parent himself. in the comics it’s implied that the majority of his developmental years in school were spent in boarding schools where his only supervisors were teachers and the few adults whose job were to look out for them. but even then tim would’ve had to learn how to deal with a lot of things himself- he had to put himself to bed, decide what and how to regulate his diet, how to deal with interpersonal issues along with any tension that came with living with another kid his age. tim is essentially a young adult in a child’s body. and to contrast that is bruce. who arguably, while he is an adult, lacks a lot of the landmark developmental milestones that tim has already had (through no choice of his own). 

bruce has alfred as a kind of crutch so many of the “adult” things tim experienced were things he never learned or developed the skills for. hence why when they came together, tim who was the more responsible, mature, and developed “adult” took care of bruce. it’s such an upside down pineapple situation where bruce is the grown up but the child and tim is the child but the grown up. so tim caring for bruce like when he gets poisoned and needs to vomit, tim treats him like a child who has swallowed something he wasn’t supposed to. he falls into caring for bruce like it’s a routine and bruce is struck with the realization of what had been happening while his head was buried in the sand from his grief.

bruce has sooo many hangups about his parents and their deaths, his relationship with them has guided so much of his life and how he expresses (or doesn’t express) his love. alfred had cared for and loved him but always maintained him an arm’s length away perhaos out of respect for bruce and the relationship he had with his parents. but tim! tim treats him in that soft way his mother did, taking a rag and dabbing away the sweat from his brow when bruce starts sweating buckets after vomiting. so many things tim does for him reminds bruce so starkly of his mother and father and it kind of makes him uncomfortable but that feeling gets trampled by and is the reason he never puts a stop to it - he likes it. he likes being doted on and cared for, he like that tim feeds him warm broths, oatmeals, and chicken soup. he likes that tim presses featherlight kisses to his scrapes and cleaned wounds. with tim there’s no expectation of him to make the first move, be responsible, or be the parent. not like there was with jason or dick.

but there’s also the fact that bruce no longer offers something to tim. safety, protection, etc. the things you expect from a parent. tim doesn’t want them, in fact he’s the one who provides them because bruce startles awake from a bad dream and tim is already there to comfort him.

bruce attempting to become the parent in their dynamic similarly failing leaves him scrambling and leaves him scared about the fact that tim could leave him.

this fundamentally changing their dynamic is so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its why tim gets more leeway than the others, why he’s treated differently and “allowed” so much independence. i think if jason and dick weren’t so preoccupied with their own lives and issues they might stop and be like “hey wtfff”.

tim and bruce’s relationship and dynamic is one of the most fascinating to me because the two of them are mirrors, foils, and almost caricatures of each other in some cases. the two of them share so much in common but are also fundamentally different people. if tim had been in bruce’s shoes from birth he would’ve likely followed the same path but been different. same with bruce. if he had been the little idealistic boy whose parents more or less neglected him, he would’ve followed the same path as tim had but been….different. the two of them are such good characters, their shared history and dynamic is fascinating and thank you so much for this really good deep dive into their character and relationship!!!!!!! it’s so good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nest Swap 10

masterpost

The guy did turn out to be Jason, but he wasn’t in a very good mood with Tim. He basically didn’t talk at all. That was fair. Tim had hit him. He hung back and tried to not be annoying as Jason contacted the police, found the hostage, and talked to her in a low voice. When they heard sirens Jason grabbed Tim and took him out the door and onto his motorcycle. They went like, really fast.

The motorcycle was cool, but where it stopped was even better. Tim lifted his arms up obligingly so that Jason could pick him up by his armpits and set him down. Tim took a single step away before Jason shot his hand out lightning-fast and grabbed at Tim’s hand. He took his helmet off with one hand and dropped it onto a handle.

“Let’s stay together, Baby Bird.” Jason sounded exhausted. Tim was a little distracted from that, even though he really should have been more considerate of the adults in the area.

This was even cooler than his hideout. It was kinda gothic and damp and smelled a little funny. An apartment building couldn’t really compete with that.

“Wow,” Tim enthused. He tried to walk away to explore but Jason tugged him back by his hand. “I love it here. Can I live here?” He pointed up at the craggy ceiling, which really just looked like a natural cave with stalactites and all. “Maybe with the bats.” His tone tilted up into an optimistic question. The bats were neat. Were they local brown bats? That was fine, but he thought black bats would really fit Batman’s aesthetic more.

Jason let out a big sigh. “It’s not up to me,” he dodged the question. “Wanna press a button on the Bat computer?”

“Absolutely yes I do.” Tim chirped. Jason started towing him along again, uncaring or maybe even not noticing that Tim was craning in every direction to see the amazing sights. “Why’s it called a Bat Computer? Is it shaped like a bat? Hey, is Big Bird real?” he asked. “I’ve been concerned about that. I want to believe that he’s not real. But if he is, is he a predator? You have to tell me.”

“Big Bird is real and he is an omnivore,” Jason muttered. “Come on, why are you so wiggly?”

“An omnivore?” Tim echoed. He held Jason’s hand a little tighter. “What- does he eat kids? Because I think it’s highly suspicious that he spends all his time with little kids. Also, the kids change every season, and no one ever explains where they went.”

Jason stopped walking and stared at him directly as Tim outlined his troubling theory.

Tim waited.

“Yes,” Jason said. “That’s it exactly. Big Bird eats little boys. So stay close to me, okay?”

Tim clung to Jason’s whole arm in response. “Okay,” he said, as casually as he could manage. Internally he was screaming. Why would Batman hang out with Big Bird?

He felt… a little betrayed about it, actually. Batman didn’t kill people. He punched a lot of people like Dr. Ivy and Dr. Crane, but that wasn’t like eating kids!

‘How can they cooperate with Big Bird when Jason is investigating the sausage guy for doing the same thing?’ Tim thought, indignant. It was hypocritical. It was intolerable. It was a total abdication of his moral responsibility.

He was going to confront Batman about it. 

He started internally preparing his arguments. He went quiet enough that Jason got suspicious about it. Tim was sorry that he couldn’t spend more time comforting Jason, but he was busy.

“Hey, you wanted to use the computer, right?” Jason shook him lightly.

Tim shrugged and hunched over a little. 

“...It’s not that serious, kiddo,” Jason said, sounding kinda unsure. He was an awkward guy.

“I’m fine,” Tim said shortly. He just wanted Jason to let him think in peace. 

The older boy sighed and started hitting buttons. He picked up something. “Hey, Bats,” he drawled.

The sound of a horn honking suddenly rang out. 

“Little Wing?” said one of the people who had tried to break into Tim’s hideout. He buried his face in Jason’s side. Jason absently put a hand on his ribs and sort of patted. “Why are you in- you’re hailing from the Batcave?”

‘That was one of Batman’s associates? Why was Batman allowing a break in of my house?’ Tim felt his heart rate start to go up. Was he in trouble? The lady had said he was in trouble, but- but Oracle made him feel safe. He pressed himself a little closer into Jason and clung to his weird jacket.

“Red Hood.” 

Batman’s voice didn’t make Tim feel as safe as it usually did. This future or universe was weird and he didn’t like it. 

“Report,” Batman said, when no one responded to what he said. 

Jason’s torso moved. Tim extracted his face just enough to see that Jason had flipped off the computer. “You are so bad at bird keeping,” Jason drawled. “All of you. Absolutely horrendous. There’s a situation, and there’s been a situation for days.” He sounded extremely cranky about it. He sounded like customs had taken his bags from him and cancelled his connecting flight and left him stranded in a Peruvian airport overnight with only his wits, a neck pillow, and a few thousand dollars.

“I suspected,” said a… A child’s voice. Tim felt his brow crinkle. He looked up. That was a young voice. Like, irresponsibly young. What was Batman doing? “As I told you, Red Robin has been eaten by the lion that escaped from the Denver zoo. If I had only been allowed to find and rehabilitate it, we could have avoided-”

“Right bird, wrong problem,” Jason cut him off. That was a shame. Tim wanted to know more about the lion situation. “Get your big ass back here and parent, motherfucker.”

Tim giggled.

“What-” - “”Did you just-” - “Is that a-”

Jason turned off the computer and then unplugged it. “Assholes,” he said to no one, very smugly. “That’ll put a bee in their…” His voice trailed off. He was looking down at Tim.

“Where will it put a bee?” Tim asked, eyes as large as he could make them. He was just messing with Jason now. He knew that expression. It was ‘bonnet’. Like, an old lady hat. What he didn’t know was why Jason wanted to censor that.

“...In Big Bird’s beak,” Jason said weakly.

Tim considered this outright weird deflection. “A suspicious amount of things seem to connect to Big Bird.” He said it cautiously, trying to feel out Jason’s position on this.

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it,” Jason said vaguely. Tim gave him a disgusted expression and Jason had the audacity to laugh.

Of course he was worried about it. 

Something beeped.

“Hey Barbie,” Jason said to absolutely no one. He moved his legs further apart and sort of…posed.

Tim looked around. He didn’t see anyone.

‘Barbie as in Barbara Gordon??’ He looked a little harder for the person Jason had greeted. That was Batgirl. Batgirl was a known quantity.

“I think I know,” said Oracle. “Because I am the all-knowing eye and all of that.”

Jason made a rude sound. “If you knew, you would have locked the baby in a genius-proof jail so that he didn’t go try and feed himself to the Sausage Man.”

“He- what?” Oracle’s voice went flat. “I knew that he was de-aged, he didn’t want Dick to bother him and baby him while he looks like this. He did not go try to do field work while he looks 6 years old.” Her tone was extremely unimpressed.

“No, no,” Jason said. He made a theatrical hand gesture. It occurred to Tim that he was enjoying himself. “That’s definitely not what he did. He took his legitimately 9 year old body with accompanying 9 year old brain off to investigate a cannibal.”

“Tim.” Oracle sounded like she was in pain. “Do you know who I am?”

“From context, I think that you’re Batgirl,” Tim admitted shyly. He wished that Jason hadn’t stepped away. He had felt weirdly secure with his hands in Jason’s pockets. He did the same thing to his Dad and it always made him feel-

‘Oh no, that doesn’t bode well for my marriage,’ Tim realized. ‘I- I can’t be comparing him to my Dad.’ He put his hands in his own pockets, like the mature little man he was.

There was a very long silence that Tim kind of noticed while he was busy fretting. He realized it was probably his fault and he should fix it.

“Big fan,” Tim added meekly. It was true.

Oracle said a bad word.

“Comm is on speaker,” Jason said cheerfully. “Little guy is hearing you loud and clear, with his 9 year old ears..”

She repeated the bad word, louder this time. “I already messaged Zatanna, but I’m going to go set off the fire alarm in her hotel right now so she sees it.”

“You do that,” Jason agreed. He had a nice smile, even though he was clearly enjoying other people feeling flustered. Tim suddenly remembered that he kind of genuinely wanted to date Jason and felt his face turn red.

After they finished talking to Batgirl Oracle, Jason and Tim spent some time looking at Batman’s crime scene photography. 

“What do you think happened here?” Jason said, shifting in the chair. 

“I think this is the aftermath of human trafficking,” Tim decided.

Jason clicked to the next photo. “What’s this?”

Tim squinted at it. In the distance, an engine came into earshot and approached rapidly. Tim hummed and kicked his heels. “I think that this is a much better photo,” he said. He distantly recognized that there were two separate engines. “That’s my first impression. Look at the composition.” Tim frowned. “Hey, stop laughing! The lighting is-”

A door opened and then slammed shut.

“Big Bird’s home,” Jason said gleefully. He stood up and grabbed Tim under the armpits. He turned Tim around and then hoisted him in the air. He dangled. It was an undignified experience that he didn’t have the ability to process it immediately.

For a single disorienting moment, Tim tracked the glint of light off the Batmobile and off a motorcycle. A guy was on the motorcycle. The door was opening on the passenger side of the Batmobile. That had to be Big Bird. Tim was dangling in the air helpless, presented for Big Bird’s approval.

‘He’s feeding me to Big Bird,’ Tim realized. 

He screamed. He kicked wildly midair and his heels connected with Jason’s chest.

“What the f-”

“He’s little!” said the man who tried to break into Tim’s hideout. He seemed delighted by this turn of events. What, was Tim smaller than the usual bird chow?

He screamed again, high and sharp. Tim contorted to kick Jason in the face. Jason let him go by accident and then Tim was falling to the ground shoulder-first, he wasn’t going to be able to run away-

The scary apartment intruder caught him. “Tim?” He was baffled. “What’s wrong-”

Tim screamed again and tried to squirm away. He couldn’t escape. 

“Fuck,” Jason said, voice muffled through his elbow. “Fuck!” There was blood coming from his nose.

“This is typical,” said the child from earlier. Tim tried to see the speaker.

A Robin was standing there, arms crossed and unimpressed. 

Oh.

That was who got out of the passenger door. Tim calmed down and squirmed so that he could see Robin better. “What were you saying about a lion?” he asked. “Do you have a good place to keep one? Where would you put it? Have you had a lion before?”

“I have had tigers,” said Robin. “So you agree that it would be better-”

“Robin, no,” interrupted Batman. He was- Okay, Tim already knew that he was big. But he was truly huge up close.

The bad guy relaxed his grip. “Are you gonna break my nose if I let you go?” he asked Tim. He kind of laughed as he said it. 

Tim paused. He felt a little bad. “As long as there’s not really Big Bird here,” he reluctantly promised.

“...What?” said the bad man.

Jason started laughing hysterically. “That’s why-” He made a horrible groan and kind of lilted forward. “Fuck…”

The bad man let Tim go. Tim scrambled away and gave him a cautious head nod. Maybe he wasn’t that bad, even though he was an intruder.

“Why did you try to break into my hideout?” he asked. He did his level best to look intimidating. They didn’t know he was that scared. He’d managed to hurt Jason, after all, and Jason was even bigger than this guy.

Robin let out an irritated fricative. “Everyone here is a fool.” His announcement was so confident that Tim looked to him for elaboration. “Todd was bullying you by referring to Richard as ‘Big Bird.’ It is an asinine nickname. As I have said before, it only introduces unnecessary confusion and distress.” He was… kind of unpleasantly smug, Tim decided. But he wasn’t wrong.

“You’re not wrong,” Tim said. It was good manners to repeat your nice thoughts out loud. “So…” his voice trailed off and got small as he realized just how silly he looked. He’d had a total false alarm. “There’s no… the yellow Big Bird that eats children isn’t here?” His voice got really small by the end.

There was a moment of perfect silence.

“You told him that I eat children?” Richard- oh!!! Robin!!! That was the real Robin!!!!- kind of shouted at Jason. He was really mad. Wow! Tim beamed at him, fear forgotten. Holy cow, Robin!! Well, big Robin- oh, the nickname made more sense now!

Jason flipped Richard off.  He sort of snarled. “Serves you right, you walking sphincter-”

“Boys, please.” Batman took off his cowl. It was Bruceman Waynebat alright, but–

“You’re really old,” Tim said, too surprised to keep that inside thought where it belonged.

Batman looked exhausted.

“That is correct,” Robin agreed. “Father, I will escort Timothy-”

“No!” said all three of the adults at the same time.

That… That made Tim feel a little suspicious of Robin. He edged away the slightest bit.

Robin crossed his arms again. “Egregious,” he muttered to himself, and then turned on his heel with a flutter of his cape. He left the room without further comment.

Tim felt a little bad. “Bye!” he called. Robin did not slow down or respond at all. Tim wilted a little bit. It kind of felt like nobody liked him here. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Everyone looked at him. “Why are you sorry?” asked Richard.

Oh. Tim shrunk back. He didn’t know what the right answer was. What did they want? “Because I hit Jason with Mrs. Henderson’s mace?” he guessed meekly.

“He sprayed you with mace?” Richard seemed delighted.

Tim shook his head wildly, sending hair flying. “No!” He was distressed. “That would be mean!”

“Stop helping,” Jason muttered, but it was too late to stop saying,

“She has a Gothic mace,” Tim reported. “It weighs about 2 kilograms and I think it was from Western Europe. I don’t know if she legally owns it. It may be a replica but now that I think about it, it could be real and that would be neat.”

Richard made a sound like air escaping a balloon.

“Shut up!” Jason said. Then he looked at Tim. “Mrs. Henderson- why did you know that?” His voice was higher. “Was that your first time at Orange’s house?”

“He was WHERE,” Richard said, at the same time that Batman demanded, “Report!”

Everyone ignored Batman.

“No.” Tim shrunk back a bit. “I went there yesterday, too. Mrs. Henderson gave me hot chocolate and told me about child labor.”

Jason put his face in his hands again. His nose blood was trailing down his neck now. 

“I didn’t go into Mr. Orange’s house yesterday,” Tim admitted in the interest of fairness. “His windows were all closed. But I did talk to him a little.”

Richard made another teapot sound and picked Tim up. 

The big computer turned itself on. A pretty woman was-

“Batgirl!” Tim said, and waved enthusiastically at her. 

She lifted a hand back and stared at him. She had dark undereye circles, but she was still really pretty. “Zatanna should be there in a couple of minutes, so no one shoot her.”

Jason flipped Batgirl off as well and sort of sulked.

“Tim, I’m sorry that I missed your condition,” Batgirl said. “I would have offered you more support.”

“It’s okay,” Tim reassured her. “I had a good time. Tam gave me lots of fun stuff to do. And Jason was really nice to me.”

Everyone looked at Jason.

“Oh?” Batgirl said.

“I was not,” Jason said, sounding harassed. 

“Of course he was,” Tim said, kind of confused by the way they were acting. “Doesn’t he have to be?” He waited a moment. “He’s my boyfriend, right?”

Jason choked. Richard let out a loud “HA!” Batman made a sound that Tim had never heard before from a human and didn’t know how to classify. Kind of a ‘yack!” with lots of phlegm involved.

Oh, no. Tim laid out his evidence hastily. “He called me Baby,” Tim listed. 

“Baby Bird,” Jason corrected desperately.

“That’s not any better,” Richard said. He had a horrible weird grin that stretched too wide across his face. “It's certainly a pet name.”

“Die-”

Tim continued over their commentary, counting on his fingers. “He brought me soup!” He stressed it. “With dumplings in it- real dumplings!” That was important evidence. No one had made him real dumplings before that!

“I said that meant nothing!” Jason snapped.

“And my email signature says Tim Drake-Wayne,” Tim continued. “Bruce and Richard are really really old, so I couldn’t have married either one of them,” he said, practically. It was unthinkable.

Batgirl made a snort-laugh. “Good theory,” she said, catlike grin firmly in place. Richard was silent at that part.

“I’m gathering from context that I was wrong,” Tim admitted. He crossed his arms. “But I had good reason for the theory.” He felt a bit sullen about it. He didn’t deserve to get laughed at. 

“Tim.” Batman knelt in front of him and used his soft ‘I love you voice.’

Oh.

“I adopted you,” he said. He made serious eye contact.

Tim stared back. “Did you marry my mom?” he asked, heartbroken. “Wait- my Dad? Did you marry my Dad?!” He hit Batman in the chest, suddenly hysterical. “I hate you! You broke up my parents’ marriage?! Why would you seduce them?” He felt betrayed.

Batman caught his hands and hefted him up. “No, no, sweetheart,” he soothed. Everyone else was very quiet.

That was worse than Batman breaking up his parents’ marriage.

It had been a long week. That was Tim’s justification for bursting into tears if anyone asked him. He had been desperately avoiding thinking about the years-old postcard on the fridge and the fact that Mom hadn't video called him even once in the week he had been stranded here.

Batman bounced him and made shushing noises, his big warm hand moving up and down Tim’s back. 

“I wanna go hoooome,” Tim howled. He pressed his full body into Batman and clung with all his might. “I wanna go home, I want my mom!” He wailed.

“Oh, buddy,” Bruce said sadly. His breath hitched. “I know. I know, sweetheart.”

“Is it a bad time?”

Tim lifted his face. Through blurry tears he saw a new lady was there. “Where are your pants?” he sniffled.

“Yeah, Zatanna,” Jason said sweetly. “Where are your pants?”

She gave him a withering look. “This is Red Robin as a chick, then?” She pursed her lips at him. “Cute kid. You wanna go home?” She made a gesture for Batman to put him down.

Bruce hesitated. Tim smacked at his chest. “Yes,” he said. Bruce sort of sighed and let Tim down to the ground again.

“Let me get a good look at you.” She knelt to his level and muttered something with an offhand sort of gesture that she didn’t seem to do on purpose. Tim kept his back straight. “Alright, this is a quick fix. Wanna say goodbye?”

“Goodbye, little Timmy,” Richard said quickly. He sort of sniffled. Batgirl quickly echoed him. Batman sort of squeezed his shoulder and forced out a gruff goodbye.

Tim looked at Jason. Everyone else did, too. 

“Aren’t you going to say anything to your boyfriend?” Richard stage-whispered. Zatanna made a weird face.

Jason looked like he’d tasted something terrible. Tim shrunk back. “It’s okay,” he said in a small voice. “He doesn’t have to-”

“There goes my reputation,” Jason muttered, and came over to give Tim a hug. “Goodbye, baby bird. You did a really good job and we are all proud of you. Go home and give your Mom a hug for me, okay?”

“Softie,” Richard hissed. Tim didn’t care.

“I love you too,” Tim said, because that was the kind of thing adults meant when they said they were proud of you. “Okay, Miss Katana. I’m ready to go.”

“Zatanna,” she said. “Sa uoy erew eforeb!”

He sort of blacked out for a second.

Then Tim was 19 years old, 5 foot 6 inches tall, and standing in the Batcave surrounded by people who would make fun of him mercilessly for thinking Jason was his husband if he did not immediately deflect and make him the target of mockery instead. He was very lucky that he’d been dressed in his own clothes when he’d transformed. At least he looked normal. 

Bruce opened his mouth to ask a question. 

Tim cut him off. “You’re a big softie,” he immediately accused Jason. “Those dumplings were homemade. You checked in on me so many times. Can’t believe you accuse Dick of mothering us.” He made a shitty grin.

Jason reared back, affronted. Dick made a vindicated sound, apparently recovered from the psychic damage of being put in the same category of ‘too old’ as Bruce. Tim mentally lowered the risk level of Dick starting a teasing campaign against him in retaliation.

“Haha, you love me,” Tim taunted Jason, dangerously close to be playing this kind of game and too reckless to care. He wasn’t going down for this mess. “L!” He put his thumb and forefinger up to make an L on his forehead. “Loser!”

“Listen, you little shit,” Jason started. He balled up a fist and took a step forward.

Bruce cut him off. “Jason, it’s not embarrassing to love your little brother. Thank you for being so mindful of his health and checking in on his welfare. I’m very proud of you.”

Jason made a sound like a cat throwing up.

“Yeah, I’m going to go,” Zatanna said flatly. She nodded to Tim. “If anything seems wrong, just text me. Oracle, don’t contact me.”

“Love you too,” Barbara said cheerfully. 

Zatanna gave her a withering look and portalled away.

Tim ducked away and ran upstairs before Jason could lunge at him. Behind him he heard a scuffle start up. “Little Wing, you need to get checked out,” Dick said sweetly. Glass broke. “Alfred! Jason needs caretaking!”

“No, I need to kick Tim’s ass!” Jason howled. Tim made it to the stairs and started taking them two at a time.

He passed Alfred going the other way. “Master Tim,” Alfred said, forcing him to stop fleeing. Jason wouldn’t get him with Alfred right there anyway. Alfred was home base for these games. “Are you staying for the night?”

Tim opened his mouth to say ‘No’ because really, he didn’t need to be here when he was an adult who had his own place. Then he thought about how he’d felt alone in his apartment for the last week, longing for human connections and so hungry for approval that he’d gratefully accepted whatever task a friendly stranger suggested to him. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay for the weekend,” Tim said, and ambushed Alfred with a hug. Alfred went stiff, but wrapped an arm around his back a moment later. “Love you.” He broke away and started running up the stairs again. He barely heard the answering sentiment.

It was good to be home.

…He kind of wanted soup.