Csoip - Down The Rabbit Hole

hello rain.

give me a world cleansed of hatred, discrimination, humanity. tell me, how is the rain not an attempt to wash away the stain of our past lives? a futile offering in the face of our sin. and now: a flood, the myths foretold, to wash away the vestiges of guilt, jealousy and all our other emotions. how have we not been swept away yet? ‘the storm is coming,’ the weather forecaster says; except he doesn’t know the true meaning of rain. it’s not something to be taken lightly. it can take, and it can give life in a cycle only the storm knows. tell me again, what you said- that the rain was just rain and it couldn’t come inside- when I could feel it already in my bones filling up my lungs? tell me how to stop the tide that breaks in my chest. give me a world in need of cleansing, in which we suffer from an evil of our making and the storm will wash away our bodies the lives we pretended were our own. tell me, no i’ll tell you- you could not have stopped this if you tried.

extract longing; hold it. disclosure, full between your palms.

thought.

is abstract.

chase it.

the way you write.

poetry.

lines.

dividing line.

in two.

cross lines.

fold through.

like paper origami.

cut and hold.

a snowflake.

a real snowflake.

quick.

before it melts.

a passing glance.

hold it.

wait.

for the train.

abstract extract.

thought.

a list of untranslatable words

schädenfreude iktsuarpok sillage tacenda mono no aware dépit koev halev hi fun kou gai lebensmüde mutterseelenallein natsukashii saudade tante toska weltschmerz xinteng viraag wintercearig zhaghzhagh yuputka luftmensch gumusservi glas wen boketto kummerspeck fernweh komorebi pochemuchka backpfeifegesicht aware waldeinsamkeit gattara mamihlapinatapei won wabi-sabi litost ilunga cafuné torschlusspanik hyggelig l'appel du vide ya'aburnee duende gezelligheid hiraeth lykke setsu nai tan-te forelsket kilig commuovere mokita dépaysement verschlimmbessern flechazo koi no yakan firgun psithirisma yuanfen mo chuisle mo chroí merak onsra aay'han ethi sehirlilestiremediklerimizdensiniz esperar kos la douleur exquise uitwaaien

star-spangled noose

that red white and blue don't mean what it used to don't stand for truth, justice and the American way. actually, it might stand for the American way but no one wants to acknowledge what that's become: the American way used to be noble, used to mean coming up from nothing used to mean love and strength and courage used to mean standing up for the little guy used to mean "I'm with ya till the end of the line." now that flag ain't a flag it's a noose and our national anthem is the sound of it creaking 'round the neck of some poor boy, some girl, someone who died overseas, someone who doesn't believe in a God that has the same name, someone who doesn't fit into the idea of what a boy, what a girl should do and feel and the American way means being terrified of what is different and making a living off someone else's pain. stars and stripes don't stand for unity when all they are is just lines keeping us apart, the world made up of borders that aren't even real. it's just lines drawn in the sand we pretend not to cross. that red white and blue ain't so pretty tied around your neck, hanging you from that cross you pretend to bear. we'll all salute you when we walk by.

how to know when to stop

When there stops being a want -that ache in my chest for more more more- that’s when I’ll end it. When every day stops being a battle, when there are more no’s than yeses, pleases than try’s, lined up in a row and counted like a ratio of would you mind if I stay? to it’d be better if I go. When there are more reasons to stop than there are to continue on with it. It’s not so much that I want to die. It’s just that I want to stop existing, stop moving sluggishly through life like a half-asleep shadow. When the time comes when I feel like I can’t stand it, when there is no point. When there is no one left to miss me, no one to cry and ask for one more day. By now they know that asking won’t get them anything so they pack my bags for me, ready for me to leave. More no than yes, just sooner than later and leave a note telling us where you’ve gone. When there is no one who would miss you. Would it be so terrible?